Chapter 2

Spike awoke to unfamiliar surroundings, his head hurt like the devil. As his vision went in and out of focus, it seemed, that he was in some sort of aircraft. He tried to sit up, but something held him fast to the seat. He felt for the restraint and unfastened himself. Spike stood up, hearing something fall, he noticed an envelope and a thick wad of notes on the carpeted floor of the plane.

He stooped to pick them up. Almost wishing that he hadn’t as a fresh wave of dizziness took over him, and he sat back down on the seat. Spike stuffed the bank notes into the pocket of his duster and opened the envelope. It contained two sheets of paper, filled with a distinctive hand. He would recognise Angel’s scrawl anywhere. The bold Wolfram and Hart logo stood out on the page. He scanned the contents of the letter.

Spike,

If you are reading this, then I am sure that it’s because you are waking up from the sedative I gave you. I cannot imagine that you just got in the plane of your own free will. You always were stubborn.

You may think I am off my head, perhaps I am, but I also believe in finding your own destiny. Harmony told me the reasons why you’ve stuck around in LA since becoming corporeal, and they are pretty lame, even coming from you Spike.

Your strange friend Andrew was correct when he said; Buffy didn’t know that you were alive again. I didn’t want to find out if she would come rushing back for you. It’s partly my fault that she doesn’t know. Now that we are several thousand miles apart, I don’t mind admitting my duplicity.

Buffy is still unaware of your existence, so go easy on her. She deserves the right to choose, that’s why I am sending you gift wrapped to her. I owe you an apology Spike; yes, I can admit when I am wrong! If she decides that you are what she wants, then I wish her the best. You’d better make her happy, or I will stake you myself. That was a promise by the way, not a threat.

Your one time companion and grandsire.

Angel.

“Pfft! Bloody bastard, pulling rank as usual,” said Spike aloud, as he read Angel’s closing words.

There was an address added at the bottom of the page that could only be Buffy’s. Spike frowned and looked away for a moment.

He resisted the urge to screw up the sheets of paper. Instead, he let them fall to the floor. He decided to search his surroundings. Spike tried a door on the far side of the cabin, but it was firmly locked. He thumped on it in frustration.

“Hello?” said a muffled voice from the other side.

“Let me out you bugger!” growled Spike.

“Sorry Mr Spike, Sir, but Mr Angel said that we were under no circumstances to unlock that door, until we landed in Italy,” came the reply.

“You’d better have a remote control for that lock, because when I’m getting out of here you...” Spike trailed off as they started to pump music through the speakers.

Spike located a mini bar in one of the wall cabinets. There were several crystal decanters filled with different coloured liquids. He took a tumbler and poured himself a generous amount of bourbon. He sat back in the seat and sighed in defeat. He was going to see Buffy, whether he wanted to or not, he laughed in self derision.

“Of course you want to see her you stupid bugger, you’ve thought of nothing else since you were corporeal,” he told himself aloud.

He closed his eyes, thinking back to his excuses and his conversation with Harmony over a month ago....

I was on my way. Had a boat ticket and all. Then I put a little thinking into it. A man can't go out in a bloody blaze of glory, savin' the world, and then show up 3 months later, tumbling off a cruise ship in the south of France. I mean, I'd love to, don't get me wrong, but, uh, it's hard to top an exit like that.

Oh. I expect Buffy would be happy enough to see me. It's just, I gave up my life for her, the world, and if I show up now, flesh and bone, my grand finale won't hold much weight. All of it... won't matter.

Spike’s eyes snapped open, bloody peaches was right! He was LAME; there was Buffy in Italy, no longer in France, and not even aware he still existed. She had had four months to get over him, and he thought that it was probably for the best, but what if she didn’t agree with him? Shouldn’t he give her the chance to have her say?

He swallowed down the remainder of his drink and stood up, pacing the confines of the cabin. There was hours until he reached Italy. With nothing but, his thoughts to occupy him, he was sure he would go mad.

Spike knew how he felt; he had loved Buffy since the moment he had laid eyes on her all those years ago. The soul was giving him doubts that he had never experienced as a hardened vampire. Buffy said that she loved him, but did she mean it? He’d been fading at the time. Maybe she had just been trying to comfort a dying man.

Although he disliked admitting it, he had actually been glad to see Andrew when he’d showed up at Wolfram and Hart, a couple of weeks ago. It was a small link with the past, a reminder of a place dead and gone. Somewhere he could never return to, except in his dreams. He smiled as he recalled the boy’s words:

You're like... you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. Ohh... he's alive, Frodo. He's alive.

“Stupid Bugger! No wonder the kid needs a shrink,” said Spike, as he shook his head.

He was still feeling sleepy from the effects of the sedative. Knowing this was going to be one long plane ride, he stretched out his legs, made himself comfortable, and closed his eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy wiped down another table as some more tourists vacated it. It had been a busy day, her feet begged for rest, but that was how she preferred it. Business was slowing down as the beautiful Italian night was starting to fall. Dawn was inside the café, seated at one of the tables.

She was busily doing her homework, having long since returned from school. Buffy smiled at her fondly. She was surprised at Dawn’s new mature approach to her schoolwork, but since there had been no end of the world scenarios for over four months, her sister had settled down a little. Even if Dawn was still inclined to her brattish outbursts.

A chill wind blew past her, as if someone had just stepped on her grave. A few stray pieces of trash rattled in the breeze. Buffy shivered as she slipped her sweater over her shoulders. Dawn looked up at her in concern.

“You okay Buffy?” Dawn inquired.

“Yeah, sure, it’s just that Tuesday feeling I sometimes get,” said Buffy.

“Oh, you mean how all the bad things normally happen on a Tuesday? “asked Dawn.

Buffy smiled at her sister.

“It’s just me being dumb, old habits die hard,” sighed Buffy.

“Look around ya sis, the only thing bad that could happen around here is someone getting a fly in their pannetone,” laughed Dawn.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m on a break soon, wanna spend it with me? But for now, I have customers to serve, you’ll be okay for a moment?” asked Buffy.

Dawn looked at her, the annoyance on her face barely concealed.

“Buffy jeez! I am seventeen, remember?”

Buffy was already moving among the tables and Dawn’s words were ignored. Dawn smiled and shook her head and returned to her books.

Ten minutes later, Buffy sat down at her sister’s table. Dawn eyed her sister as she sipped at her cappuccino. Buffy felt her sister’s gaze on her.

“What is it?” asked Buffy.

“Have you done it yet?” asked Dawn.

Buffy knew that Dawn was referring to her daily ritual. She always threw a coin in the fountain, everyday, without fail. Buffy sighed tiredly. She placed her hand inside her apron pocket, and felt the euro that rested inside it.

“I just haven’t had the time Dawnie, with the staff shortages. I have been run off my feet all day,” said Buffy.

“Yeah, but you are gonna?” persisted Dawn.

“Yeah, I am, but it will have to wait until my shift is over. I have to lock up, Gianni is sick, so it’s been left down to me,” said Buffy.

“Well, I’m all done here. I’m going to head back to the apartment and make us some dinner,” said Dawn as she gathered up her things.

“Okay, but please don’t make it anchovy and green olives tagliateli again sis,” laughed Buffy.

No, I won’t. That was gross, even by my standards, I’ll surprise you,” said Dawn.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” said Buffy as she watched her sister walk across the square.

Buffy smiled and without thinking, she felt the coin in her pocket once more.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The aeroplane came in to land at Leonardo DaVinci airport. The bump, as the jet hit the tarmac, woke Spike from his troubled dreams. He looked out of the window at the night sky. He knew he was here. Italy was a place he knew well, and he’d travelled it many years ago, with Angel, Darla, and Dru.

The engines shut down and then there was silence. He heard a loud clicking sound, as the main door of the aircraft swung back and opened.

Almost twenty-four hours after leaving LA, he was finally here. There was no going back, and thinking about it, he realised that he no longer wanted to.

He hailed a cab and got in, giving out the directions to the driver. Even though the hour was late, the city was still buzzing with activity. Most of the young favoured mopeds to navigate some of the narrower city streets, Spike settled back into the seat of the cab.

Not long now, until he knew whether this trip had been one big mistake on Angel’s part, or the best present that the poofter had ever given him.

Did Buffy have room for him in her life? Too bleeding bad if she didn’t, he was here now. He growled at himself. They were all questions that he would know the answers to, soon enough.

The taxi slowed down to a stop, outside an attractive looking apartment building. He handed the driver his fare and exited the cab. He consulted the piece of paper again, judging by the numbers, it seemed that her apartment was situated on the top floor.

Spike stepped back into the shadows, as the balcony doors of the upper apartment were flung open. He swallowed back his tears as he saw Dawn walk out onto the balcony. He heard her small sigh, as she looked across the square, to what, he knew not. Then she went back inside and closed the doors again.

The bit had grown so much in the short months since he had last seen her. She looked practically a woman now. At least they were in. Nothing more annoying than travelling half way around the world, to find that the people you were visiting, were out, he mused.

Spike’s stepped inside the entrance hall of the building, he stood at the base of the stairs, before taking the steps two at a time, in his eagerness to see Buffy. He was soon at the shiny blue door of Buffy and her sister’s apartment. He raised his fist and knocked on its surface.

He could hear Dawn singing from inside the apartment, it stopped at the sound of his knock.

“Buffy! Did you forget your keys again? Dinner is gonna burn, well actually that might improve it, well come in then, SPIKE!” Dawn gasped as she flung open the door, to reveal the identity of the visitor.

The rosy colour fled from her cheeks as she let out an ear-piercing scream. Spike caught her, just as she was about to slide to the floor.

“Dammit! Not quite the reaction I was looking for, but thanks for the invite,” said Spike, as he carried her into the apartment and laid her down on the sofa.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy had been in the process of locking up the café and putting her keys in her bag, when she heard her sister’s scream. She dropped her purse in her haste, as she ran across the square.

TBC

Chapter 3

Buffy ran up the stairs of her apartment building. Her breathing came fast and heavy in her exertion to reach her sister. Damn, why did we have to be on the top floor? Buffy thought in desperation.

As she reached the last step, she noted that the door to the apartment was flung wide. A soft glow emanated through the open door. She edged nearer the entrance, daring to peek around the corner. Her eyes widened in alarm, as she saw her sisters sneakers peeking from behind a dark coated form who was leaning over her.

Buffy went into slayer mode and she ran at the assailant and flung him across the room, not stopping to see where he fell. Buffy checked her sister all over, looking at her neck for puncture wounds. Satisfied that her sister was breathing, she grabbed a stake from the pot of kitchen utensils. Turning off the burnt remains of their dinner as she went.

Buffy advanced on the heap in darkened corner, it moaned and rolled over. She frowned, something was wrong. Her heart beat picked up speed as her brain went into overdrive. She shook her head in disbelief.

The figure sat up, the lamplight flooding his face. Buffy gasped, and the stake slipped from her hand and clattered loudly onto the terracotta flooring.

“Hello Buffy love,” Spike drawled as he wiped a trickle of blood from his lip.

“You can’t be him, you can’t,” said Buffy, as she sank to her knees, shaking her head as if to clear it.

“Why can’t I be me? Angel said…” he smiled ruefully.

“Angel?” she interrupted him.

“Yeah, that’s where I’ve been these past three and a half months, and the nineteen days before that, well I was trapped in that bloody amulet,”

“No, you died. I know you did. I barely got out myself,” said Buffy in denial.

Spike got up from the floor and walked towards her.

“You’re right I did die. I burnt up from the inside out,” sighed Spike.

Buffy paled at his words. A solitary tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it quickly away. Afraid that if she gave into tears now, they might never stop.

“Sorry to put it so bluntly, but there was no Disney version of my demise,” he apologised.

“You’re not real,” she persisted.

“Did I feel real enough when you flung me against the wall. Just like old times wouldn’t you say?” asked Spike.

He walked towards her, she wanted to run, but was frozen to the spot. Her stupid legs still refused to work. Spike extended a hand towards her. It was then that she noticed the red welts on his arms, just above the wrists. She stared at the hand, knowing that she couldn’t sit on the cold floor all evening; Buffy warily placed her hand in his. It felt cool to the touch. He closed his fingers around hers and pulled her up from the floor.

“Better check on the little bit, I gave her quite a scare,” said Spike.

“She’s not the only one,” mumbled Buffy.

Buffy glanced at her sister briefly. Fearful to take her eyes off Spike, in case he dissolved as a figment of her imagination. Dawn began to stir; she rolled over and looked at her sister.

“Buffy! I had some sort of fit or something, because I imagined that Spike was standing in our doorway. Then I think I kinda passed out or…hey how did I get on the sofa?” asked Dawn.

“That would be because of me,” said Spike softly.

“Spike! Oh, my God! Is it really you?” asked Dawn, as she shot up from the couch.

“Yes, as I keep saying it’s really me,”

Spike reared back in surprise, as a pair of arms enveloped him. Dawn held him tightly. Spike felt tears well in his eyes at her evident joy. It was more than he had hoped for; he blinked back the threatening tears and looked at Buffy. Her expression was unreadable. The colour that had been earlier lacking was slowly returning to her cheeks.

“How? Actually I don’t care how, just that you’re here now. Where have you been all this time, did you get out of Sunnydale?” questioned Dawn.

“Dawnie, those kind of questions can wait for later. Dammit I left my purse outside the café, I have to go get it, if its still there,” said Buffy.

“Would you like me to come with you?” asked Spike.

“No-no, that’s okay, I won’t be a moment. Someone needs to stay with Dawn,”

Buffy knew the words sounded false, even to her ears, but she needed the time it would take to walk across the square to gather her thoughts.

Dawn walked to the door with Buffy; she put her hand on her sister’s arm.

“You know I don’t get you. These past four months you’ve been acting like a walking corpse and don’t think that I don’t know why either. Then the reason for your zombie like behaviour comes back from the dead and you’re acting like he’s died all over again!” hissed Dawn under her breath.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” said Buffy as she walked off down the hall.

“Well what’s new?” Dawn asked the retreating form.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn turned back to face Spike.

“I’m sorry, but you know what she’s like,” said Dawn in appeal.

Spike laughed, but it sounded harsh, even to his ears.

“Don’t I just. Maybe I shouldn’t have come,” he sighed as he took a seat on one of the armchairs.

“No, don’t say that! She’s missed you, she really has,” said Dawn in desperation. “No one mourned you more than Buffy, except for Andrew maybe,” she shrugged.

Spike pulled a face.

“Yeah, already seen the boy, he was in LA a couple of weeks ago,” said Spike.

“He didn’t say anything when he phoned. So, you’ve been in LA all this time? Why didn’t you come sooner?” asked Dawn.

“Because I’m an idiot. Nearly did last month, and then I talked myself out of it. Did Buffy really have no idea that I was back?” asked Spike.

“Neither of us did, it’s been tough for her these last few months, she was grieving for you and for Anya. Then everyone moved to the far corners of the world,” said Dawn.

“Anya?” asked Spike.

“Yeah, she didn’t make it. She died protecting Andrew,” said Dawn sadly.

“Any one else I should know about?” asked Spike, as he spared a moment for Anya’s memory.

“Nope can’t think of anyone else,” said Dawn.

Dawn blushed as she realised that she had been caught staring at him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Sorry, just can’t believe that your really here,” said Dawn.

· * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy hurried across the square, surprised to find her purse still laying where she’d dropped it. After a quick check that her money was still safely tucked inside it, she started in the direction of the apartment. She stopped mid stride and turned and walked back towards the shuttered café.

She opened the café door and closed it behind her. Buffy made her way over to the counter and took the phone out from under it. She perched herself atop the counter while she dialled the number.

“Wolfram and Hart, how may I help you?” asked the cheerful voice at the other end.

“Harmony?” asked Buffy in disbelief.

“Yeah, who’s this?” asked Harmony.

“Never mind is Angel there?” asked Buffy.

“Yes, er no, I’ll have to check, is that Buffy?” asked Harmony.

“Just put me through okay,” said Buffy impatiently.

Buffy sighed as the seconds stretched out.

“Hello Buffy, I take it the package arrived safely?” drawled Angel.

“So, when were you gonna tell me?” asked Buffy angrily.

“Didn’t think you’d want to talk to me, Andrew made it clear that you have trust issues where I am concerned,” Angel replied.

“And you wonder why? Spike was part of my team, more than that, he was my friend,” Buffy accused.

“From what Spike has been telling me it was a little more than that,” drawled Angel.

“Which is no one’s business, but mine!” said Buffy.

“Spike was a ghost when he came back Buffy, he couldn’t leave LA if he’d wanted to. Believe me he tried it repeatedly,” said Angel.

“A ghost? What do you mean?” asked Buffy.

“I mean, he was the walk through walls, bump in the night variety phantom. Then there was the nasty incident with your rogue slayer Dana, she sawed his hands off,” sighed Angel.

Buffy tried to stifle the gasp that escaped her lips.

“If you’re trying to calm my fears, I have to tell you it’s not working. Look, I have to go, he’s waiting at my apartment with Dawn,” said Buffy.

“Fine, call me when you’ve decided I’m trust worthy again,” said Angel bitterly.

“Angel, I er…”

“Never mind, just tell me one thing,” said Angel.

“Depends what it is,” Buffy replied.

“Good surprise or bad surprise?” asked Angel.

“If you mean Spike, then good surprise,” Buffy admitted.

She heard Angel’s heavy sigh down the other end of the line.

“Thought as much, Buffy I am a realist if nothing else. I’ve had a lot of time to think since I last saw you. Those words “he is in my heart” have kinda stuck with me,”

Buffy would never know how much it had cost him emotionally, to put Spike on that plane, but he realised that he and Buffy were on different roads. Both of them still living the ideal of a first love that had long since turned into comfortable affection. He had decided that it was time to let her go.

“Bye Buffy,” said Angel.

Buffy heard the faint click as the phone line went dead.

· * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn glanced at her watch, as Spike got up from the sofa and started to pace restlessly up and down the room.

“I’m sure she’ll be back in a moment,” Dawn assured him.

“Or maybe she just doesn’t want to see me,” said Spike

She was beginning to get alarmed. Spike looked as if he was ready to do a runner. She opened the balcony doors to see if Buffy was anywhere in sight. She breathed a huge sigh of relief as she spied Buffy hurrying across the square.

Spike stood next to Dawn and watched Buffy’s progress until she disappeared under them and into the entrance of the apartment.

“See, told you she’d be back,” said Dawn.

Buffy entered the apartment a few moments later.

“So, you came back then,” said Spike.

“Why wouldn’t I?” asked Buffy, sounding a little more defensive than she had meant to.

“How did it go then?” asked Spike.

Buffy held up her purse.

“Found it, it was still there, money and all,” said Buffy.

“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant the phone call that you just made to Angel,” said Spike.

“How did you know, you didn’t use your….”

“My vampiric hearing?” Spike interrupted. “Nah, even I can’t hear from that far away, I just know Buffy. Well, according to Dawn I do,” he finished dryly.

Dawn giggled and Buffy turned to look at her sister, laughter was an alien noise in their home. Spike had been here for all of half an hour and he had achieved something Buffy had been unable to do in all of four months, put a genuine smile on her sister’s face.

To her surprise, she realised that the constant ache in her chest was no longer there; it had been replaced by a new one… fear. She looked at Spike; flustered to find him watching her with a strange expression on his face, and those eyes damn him still had the power to reach into her very soul. It was easier to look away from that unwavering gaze.

“It’s getting late, maybe I should go,” said Spike.

“Go where exactly, and at this time of night?” asked Dawn; she looked at her sister appealingly.

“Okay, I can take the hint Dawnie! Spike, you’re welcome to stay here, that’s if you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa?” Buffy asked.

“Thanks,” he smiled at her warmly.

Buffy’s breath caught in her throat, and Spike heard the accelerated beating of her heart. She wasn’t as unreceptive to him as she was pretending. It gave him hope that maybe she still felt something towards him after all.

“Talking of time of night, its time you thought about going to bed. It is a school night,” said Buffy.

Dawn looked ready to commit murder.

“Like I need reminding! Spike has just come back from the dead; it’s a special occasion,” whined Dawn.

“Dawn, do as your sister says. We have plenty of time to catch up on things,” said Spike.

“Fine! Not only do I have a mom, but now I have a dad into the bargain too. I haven’t had dinner yet, just in case you’ve been too busy devouring Spike with your eyes to notice!” snapped Dawn.

Buffy felt her face suffuse with heat at her sister’s ill chosen words. Had she really been doing that? She wondered with embarrassment.

“I’ll bring you in a sandwich,” said Buffy.

Dawn marched off to the bedroom, her head held high. Buffy excused herself and went to the kitchen. Earlier she had felt hungry, but now she couldn’t force herself to eat so much as a bite. As she cut her sisters sandwich in half, she felt Spike behind her as he reached for the plate. She closed her eyes, savouring his nearness.

“I’ll take it in for her, where’s her room?” asked Spike.

“Third door on the left,” said Buffy.

Spike was gone for, but a few moments. In his absence, Buffy had settled on the sofa. Spike seated himself next to her. Her mouth dried up. Just being this close to him made her feel as gauche as a teen and she hated it.

“Spike…I er,” she turned to face him.

“Buffy, why are you here? Working your ass off for the Italian equivalent of Double Meat?” asked Spike.

Buffy felt her hackles rise at his question.

“So you’ve come all this way to question my career choices?” asked Buffy.

“No, I came here to….”

“You really wanna know why I bust my ass at the café?” She continued at his rapt silence. “I do get a salary for the work I do for the council, but it barely covers Dawn’s school fees. So that’s why there’s the need for a second job and the fact that I happen to like it,” huffed Buffy defensively.

“Dawn’s listening,” said Spike.

“Dammit, I didn’t want her to know that. We can’t talk here, feel up to a walk?” sighed Buffy.

“After nearly twenty-four hours in a plane, I think I can manage it, but what about the nibblet?” asked Spike.

“She is seventeen years old, or so she keeps reminding me! Besides I can take my cell phone with me,” said Buffy wryly.

TBC

Chapter 4

Buffy hastily scribbled down a note to Dawn, walked over to the door, and waited for Spike to follow her out. After firmly shutting the door behind them, they descended the stairs in silence. They walked so close together that their hands brushed against each other a couple of times. Spike smiled noting that she had not drawn away from his touch.

They stood outside the apartment building, neither sure what to do next. Buffy turned to look at him, her face framed by the moonlight. God she was in one of the most romantic cities in the world and she was tongue-tied she thought desperately as she looked away.

Spike looked down at her, she was still the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen in his existence. He had been wrong to stay away so long, he knew that now. He could have been here a month sooner if it hadn’t been for his own personal stupidity. He silently thanked Angel for giving him no choice in the matter.

Spike was pulled back into the now by Buffy tugging at his sleeve.

“You just gonna stand around all night, or are we going to talk?” she asked.

“Well, I didn’t come all this way to play catch up, did I?” he asked.

He allowed Buffy to lead him across the square. It was almost deserted as most of the tourists had long since retired to their beds. Only the faint strains of music from one of the many late night establishments could still be heard. They sat down on the edge of the fountain. She sighed at the sound of the water as it calmed her ragged nerves.

A stray lock of her hair escaped its confines. Spike automatically tucked it behind her ear, his hand coming to rest on her cheek. He could see the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes. She tried blinking them back as before, but her eyes wouldn’t cooperate as tear after hot tear fell down her face. It was stupid that so simple a gesture could bring on such a flood of emotion she told herself angrily.

Spike moved closer, wrapping his arms around her as he stroked her hair. The racking sobs that shook her body almost moved him to do the same. They sat like that for about five minutes before Buffy lifted her tearstained face to look at him.

She wiped at her eyes and looked at him apologetically.

“Sorry didn’t mean to wail all over you,”

“That’s okay pet. Was that the first time you have er cried since it all happened?” Asked Spike gently.

She nodded.

“I have worked so hard these past four months. Training girls, moving around Europe, trying to make a life for Dawnie and myself, but when you showed up here tonight I realised one thing,” said Buffy.

“What’s that?” he encouraged.

Buffy sighed.

“That’s it’s all been window dressing. I did the exact same thing after mom died. If I kept busy, then I didn’t have to feel, but the pain was always there under the surface,”

“Denial Buffy? I know her as well as the other Buffies,” Spike smiled ruefully.

She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips.

“You always have been able to read me, sometimes better than I could myself. Where did you learn such insight?” asked Buffy.

“By watching you and maybe a little stalking in the far and distant past,” he grinned.

Her expression changed as she looked at him.

“I’m sorry that I have been so cold to you since you showed up. I didn’t mean to be, but how do you greet a guy that you thought was up until a couple of hours ago, dead?” asked Buffy.

“It’s okay, I understand. They didn’t exactly have a parade when I materialised in Angel’s office either,” he replied.

“I can imagine Casper,” she teased.

“Oh bloody hell, the git told you didn’t he?” asked Spike.

“A little,” Buffy grabbed a hold of his sleeve, pushing the material up. “I’m more interested in these though,” she replied as she exposed his injured arms.

Spike looked away.

“All in the line of duty. It didn’t hurt that much really,” he lied.

“It happened because of me. I sent Andrew and the girls off, to deal with Dana. I should have gone myself. Then I would have known about you sooner, all I ever seem to do is hurt you,” she admonished herself.

He growled in frustration.

“I could kill Angel for shooting his mouth off. Don’t blame yourself for something you had no knowledge of Buffy. These things happen in the fight for right, you know that,” he replied dismissively.

“So, have you given my statement any consideration since I last saw you?” asked Buffy.

“Given what any consideration?” he asked in confusion.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the flamey hands and the I love you Spike, followed by the no, you don’t but thanks for saying it speech,” she replied heatedly.

“Oh, I wondered when we were going to get around to that,” he said in surprise.

“So the questions remain, did you believe me or not? Or did you just tell me I didn’t mean it, to get rid of me?” she asked.

“A little of both I guess,” he sighed. “You weren’t going anywhere fast Buffy. If I had gone all hearts and flowers on you, you might have decided to stay. As I died I had a smile on my face, because of you, knowing that you were safe,” he finished quietly.

Buffy felt fresh tears spring to her eyes.

“I did mean it you know. The I love you,” she smiled through her tears.

The words from long ago, ‘If my heart could beat it would break my chest’ sprung to Spike’s mind, but his insecurities were still plaguing him.

“Yeah, I know as a friend,” he replied.

“Do you want me to beat some sense into you?” she asked.

Spike studied her face, reading the truth in her eyes. He pulled her against him and crushed her lips to his. Her arms snaked up around his neck as she returned his passion in full. Desperation, grief, longing and most of all love transpired it’s self as their lips communicated to each other what their words could not.

They broke apart. She smiled shyly at him. Buffy was still too moved by their kiss to speak. It had felt like their kisses from before, but different. There had been tenderness in their touch this time, something that had been sadly lacking in their previous relationship. Oh, Spike had wanted to be tender in those dark times, when they had been lovers, but she had always rebuffed any affection he had tried to show her.

This was new to him; it had taken all of his strength to not break down and sob like a child as he’d experienced the first kiss in his 100+ years that had been given him in love. She meant it. She really meant it, he realised as his face lit up with a smile.

“I love you Buffy,”

“And I love you too, for real as a woman loves a man in a totally non friend kinda way,” she said firmly.

“Okay I get it,” he held up his hands in surrender.

The clock from one of the many churches began chiming as it struck the midnight hour. Buffy stood up, fumbling in her jeans pocket.

“Dammit!” she cursed.

“What is it love?” asked Spike.

Buffy fished the coin she was looking for from her pocket, she turned her back to the fountain and quickly threw in the coin as the last strike of the clock fell.

“Okay, I won’t even begin to pretend to know what that was all about,” said Spike as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“It’s just a thing, I throw a coin in everyday. Nearly didn’t do it in time, don’t want to tempt fate and certainly not now,” she smiled.

“What did you wish for?” he asked.

“I don’t know if I should say, it’s been the same wish everyday,” she replied.

“Buffy, come on just say it,”

“Fine, but don’t blame me if it goes all wrong. I wished for the same thing every day from the very first coin…I wished to have another chance to tell you that I loved you,” she sighed.

Spike smiled adoringly at her.

“You’ve already done that,”

“I know, but tonight I made a new wish…to make a life with you,” she admitted.

Spike drew in a ragged unnecessary breath.

“You really want a flawed idiot such as myself hanging around? There are things I‘ve done since I was back, things that I am not proud of, ” Spike admitted.

“Sssh, do you think any of that matters. I want you in spite of your flaws. Don’t see myself about to be granted sainthood any time soon either,” said Buffy.

“You did the best you could Buff, Sunnydale was no one’s fault, but I did go out with a bang didn’t I?” asked Spike.

“More like a nuclear explosion. You totalled the place,” grinned Buffy.

Spike’s smile faded.

“Sorry about Anya. Dawn told me,”

“Yeah, a lot of the girls didn’t make it out either,” said Buffy sadly.

“Sunnydale was a bad time, but times change,”

“I’m hoping they will now,” she answered.

Spike bent his head to kiss her again.

“You can count on it,” Spike said.

Buffy shivered in the cooling night air. Autumn was starting to set in and the warm summer nights had begun to fade.

“You’re cold, maybe we’d better go back in. I would offer to keep you warm, but being room temperature kind of puts the damper on that,” he remarked, as he noticed her tremble.

“I want to stay a little longer, and enjoy this bella notte,” she smiled.

“Oh and she speaks Italian too, what other hidden talents do you have la mia bella dea,” he grinned.

“Okay, show off, I won’t even begin to guess what you just called me, but I liked it. You can talk Italian to me any time,” Buffy sighed.

“I called you my beautiful goddess,” he replied.

Spike got up from his position on the edge of the fountain, and started to walk off.

“Spike where are you going?” she asked in confusion.

“You’ll see,” he replied.

Spike made his way over to the left side of the fountain. He extracted his silver hip flask from the inside of his duster. He grinned as he looked at it. He’d swiped it from Angel’s personal collection of antiquities. He tipped the contents of the flask into the fountain, and filled it up with water from the smaller fountain.

Buffy watched him, realising his intentions as she waited patiently for his return. She had seen couples do this a thousand times before. She had envied them their happiness, but she was finally getting her own personal piece of heaven. Spike walked back over to her with the flask.

Their eyes met, as she took the flask from his hand and took a large mouthful. She handed it back to him and he did the same. Spike pulled a strange expression as he turned and spat it out, Buffy did the same.

“Bleedin hell, it tastes like someone has taken a piss in it,” he choked.

Buffy wiped her mouth and burst into a fit of giggles.

“I think we just went above and beyond the call of duty. People usually just wet their lips with it, now I think I know why,”

Spike smiled at her.

“Apart from spoiling my romantic gesture, the important thing is that we’ve done it. We have both drank from the fountain of lovers, you know what it means?” asked Spike.

Buffy nodded.

“I know the legend. Couples that drink from the fountain will be forever faithful to their partner, but I don’t need some legend to tell me that this is a forever deal,”

“You don’t?” asked Spike.

“No,”

Buffy leaned into kiss him, drawing back just before their lips touched.

“Ew, you have fountain breath,” she smiled.

“So do you,” he replied before kissing her once more.

· * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn closed the balcony doors with a satisfied smile on her face, only feeling the tiniest pang of guilt for having spied on them for the past half an hour. So, they had finally stopped acting like a pair of dumb asses and got their act together.

“It’s about damn time,” Dawn said aloud.

She got back into bed and switched off her light. A contented smile on her lips as she drifted off to sleep.

THE END