Chapter 15


Spike shuffled through the door to his and Xander’s room shortly before dawn. It was a school and work night or he
would’ve stayed at Buffy’s. He collapsed onto his bed in an exhausted heap. Not three hours later, the alarm clock was
blaring and Xander was yelling at him to get his ass out of bed for class.

“Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Class in 30 minutes.” Xander shook his shoulder.
Spike moaned and rolled over squinting his eyes open.
“Thata boy.” Xander grinned. “Late night again, eh? That chick is gonna be the death of you”
“I’m up...I’m awake” Spike mumbled.

Spike slowly raised himself up and swung into a sitting position on the side of his bed. He yawned and stretched and
rubbed his eyes into focus.
“Gonna go take a quick shower, mate” Spike grabbed his bathroom accessories and a towel.
“Better make it real quick. You’ll be late” Xander told him.
“Well, I can’t very well go to class smelling like I’ve been screwing all night” Spike said.
“Thanks. Just rub it in. Spike gets all the hot monkey sex and Xander lays here watching re-runs of Star Trek and eating
stale donuts all night. Thanks, buddy” Xander pouted.

“OH! That reminds me. Got a message for you, whelp.” Spike grinned and dug into his pockets for the piece of paper
Buffy had given him.
“Here, mate. Hot monkey sex awaits you” he smirked.
Xander took the paper and saw the words “ANYA” and a cell and home phone numbers on it.
“Huh? Wha?” Xander began.
“You know that odd little chit, the orgasm one from the night we ran into Buffy at the pizza parlor?” Spike asked him.
“Yeah...she was hot for an old chick” Xander answered.
“She’s not old. She is around Buffy’s age...anyway...she has the hots for you man, asked Buffy to give me her numbers
there for you” Spike explained to him.
“Seriously?” Xander said with disbelief.
“Dead serious. She wants you. Call her, mate. Now, I need to go shower, be back in 10” and with that Spike was out the
door.

Xander sat down in his desk chair staring at the piece of paper with a goofy smile on his face.

Buffy sat at her desk in her office looking at her laptop. She was supposed to be working but instead she was browsing
the AA website looking for local locations. She had promised Spike she would and after all the times she let him down
before, she needed to do this. She found a place within a couple miles of her apartment so she wrote down the number
and address on a pad of paper and then stuck it in her purse. They had meetings that very night at 6:30 so she
decided she would just go there from work.

She went to stand up from her desk and winced then smiled as last night’s memories flooded her with heat. Her ass and
pussy were sore and raw but it was worth it. She wasn’t sure at first if he had it in him but he sure proved her wrong. Her
sweet little William turned into sexy little Spike when he was playing with her. It never ceased to amaze her after the past
few months how he could be almost like a completely different person when he was in “the zone” as she dubbed it yet
still the same, if that made sense. It was like he still had that sweet shyness leftover from William but had added the sexy
confidence of his new persona, Spike. He was two delicious packages all rolled up into one.

“Thank you so much, Buffy!” Anya shrieked bringing Buffy out of her daydreaming.
She turned to find Anya walking from the door to her desk.
“Umm..You’re welcome...what did I do?” Buffy inquired.
“Xander called me! I just got off the phone with him. We’re having dinner tonight. And after I hope to follow it with much
anticipated orgasms! Thank you!” Anya walked over to where Buffy was standing and threw herself into her arms giving
her a giant hug.

Buffy awkwardly hugged her back and then pulled away.
“I hope you’ll be very happy together. I gave William your numbers last night. He must’ve given them to Xander today.”
Buffy smiled.
“I need to take the rest of the day off to get my hair and nails and makeup done. Also I need to buy a new outfit. Yay!”
Anya bounced away as chipper as can be.
“Have fun” Buffy called as her door closed.

Spike dozed off as his professor recited his lecture.
“Mr. Giles! Am I so utterly boring that you cannot stay awake?” a loud booming voice jolted him out of his nap.
“No! Sorry. Sir! Uhh..I didn’t get much sleep last night” Spike squeaked out turning bright red as all heads in the lecture
hall turned to him.
“I dare hope that it was studying that kept you up so late, Mr. Giles. Did you learn anything from your “late night
studying”?”, his professor air-quoted obviously implying more than he was saying.

Spike straightened himself up more, trying to be more confident. He looked his professor in the eye and stated in a
suggestive tone, “Yes, indeed. I learned A LOT.”
The rest of the class giggled and the professor looked annoyed.
“Well, Mr. Giles, I suggest the next time you decide to...uhh...”study” late at night, you keep in mind that you have
classes to attend with professors who don’t like wasting their time lecturing to sleeping students!” he reprimanded him.
“Yes, Sir. Class will be the first thing on my mind when I’m.....uhh...studying.” he smirked.
That gained another round of giggles and laughter from the other students.
“Now, as I was saying...” the professor continued his lecture.


Xander was waiting for Spike when he got out of his last class.
“Will!...Spike!” he shouted over the crowd of students.
“Hey whelp, what’s up?” Spike said.
“You won’t believe it! I got a date tonight! A real honest to goodness date! I need your help, man.” he told Spike.
“Help?” Spike inquired.
“Yeah, seeing as your the old pro now, what am I gonna wear? I need to borrow your car too” Xander started.
“WHAT? You want me to let you take my baby? Uh NO” Spike refused.
“Oh..please..come on man...I have to pick Anya up at 7 and how am I gonna pick her up if I don’t have a car? Please
Please Please” Xander put on his puppy dog face.
“Christ....errr....grrrr...alright! But if you so much as put one scratch on her....” Spike warned him.
“I promise. No scratches.” Xander smiled.
“And don’t have sex in her either.” Spike informed him.
“No car sex. Gotcha.” Xander replied.
Spike sighed, “Alright then, come on and let’s get you all frillied up, mate”.
The two men walked back to their dorm unaware of a pair of cold eyes following them.

Buffy stood outside a small brick building holding a piece of paper in her hand with an address on it. Guess this is it, she
thought to herself. It’s now or never, Buffy. Be strong. You’re a big girl. She psyched herself up and entered the building.

Two hours later Buffy was having coffee with a fellow meeting member. He had been wonderful to Buffy in making her
feel comfortable at the meeting and with the introductions. She had stayed behind after the meeting was over to get
some information pamphlets from him and talk some more. He offered to go next door to the coffee shop that resided
there where they could continue their discussion as the building the meetings were held in was locking its doors for the
night.

“...and so I finally quit and started AA and I’ve been clean and sober for 5 years, 3 months and 12 days now” he finished
telling her his story with a smile.
“Wow. That’s great. Congratulations. I’ve been clean and sober for 2 days...and it’s been hard..” Buffy began.
“It is very hard at first. Heck, Buffy, it will always be hard in some way but it won’t be quite so bad after you get through
the first part and if you’d like, I’d be happy to be your sponsor. I’ll do everything I can to help you be a success.” He
smiled.
“Wow..well...umm...yes..that would be nice. Thank you” Buffy smiled back at the handsome man.
“Da da di do da da di do” Buffy’s cell phone chimed.
“Sorry, excuse me” she said to the man across the table from her.
“Hello”
“Hello beautiful.” Came Spike’s accented voice.
“William! Hi...” Buffy smiled into her phone not noticing the man across the table flinching at her saying another man’s
name.

“I just got to your house. Used the key you gave me last night to let myself in cause you weren’t here. Where are you? It’
s after 9.” Spike questioned her.
“Oh..well..you’ll be so proud of me. I went to my first AA meeting tonight after work..” Buffy started.
“You did? That’s great, luv. I’m proud of you” Spike commended her.
“Thanks sweetie. Anyway...I stayed later to get some pamphlets and information since it was my first meeting and then
one of the other members and I came next door to get some coffee and talk about it. I was just getting ready to leave. I’ll
be home in 20, O.K.?” she explained to him.
“Alright. I’ll be here. Have you eaten? I’ll make us something for when you get home” Spike offered.
“Sure, I’m starving. Sounds good. See you soon. Love you.” Buffy smiled.
“Love you too, pet” Spike hung up the phone.

“Sorry...that was my boyfriend. I need to get going. Let’s exchange numbers if we’re going to do this sponsor thing”
Buffy told her new friend.
“Sure thing. I didn’t realize you were involved. Is your...boyfriend in the program or have a problem with alcohol too?” he
inquired.
“William? No. He barely drinks at all and doesn’t like me drinking that much either. He has been very supportive.” Buffy
told him.
“I see” the man said. “You call me anytime you need to, Buffy. Day or night.”
He handed her his information and took hers in turn.
“Thanks! I appreciate everything you did for me tonight” Buffy stood up and gathered her purse and coat.
“It was my pleasure, Buffy. I’ll see you soon.” He smiled.
“Bye, Angel” Buffy walked out of the coffee shop and made her way home to Spike.
 

Chapter 16

William was just laying out the sandwiches and soup he had fixed for dinner when Buffy arrived home.
“Hi honey”she kissed his cheek.
“Hello, luv. Sorry it’s not much but you didn’t have much in the way of selection.” He explained.
“You should know by now I can’t barely cook. This looks fine. Better than I could do” she sat down to eat.

“So, you met a new friend at the meeting? That’s good. I’m glad you had a successful first meeting” Spike smiled.
“Yes, he is really nice and smart and he wants to be my sponsor” Buffy took a bite of her sandwich.
“HE?” Spike tensed.
“Yes, his name is Angel” Buffy replied.
“I thought you were with another girl tonight. Angel? What kind of a poofter name is Angel anyway?” Spike glared.
“Somehow I doubt that is his real name but I didn’t ask and you’re one to talk, SPIKE” she responded.
“Yeah well, SPIKE happens to be your boyfriend. You spent hours at a coffee shop with some man you just met? It was
after 9. What were you doing with him so long?” Spike grilled her.

“And it was fine when you thought I was with another woman? But not now? We just talked about AA and stuff. Christ, it
was just coffee, William. And speaking of strangers, I fucked you hours after I had just met you” Buffy said in irritation.
“Yeah, that’s what scares me” Spike replied.
“WHAT? Are you accusing me of something?” Buffy asked him.
“No. It just bothers me that you spent your evening with a man who wasn’t me.” Spike answered.
“It was JUST coffee, William. I love you” Buffy looked him in the eye.
Spike sighed, “I love you too baby. I’m sorry. I just get...kinda jealous” he admitted.
“Yeah, kinda” Buffy rolled her eyes.

Before they could continue their conversation the phone rang. Buffy went to answer it.
“Hello”
“IS WILLTHERE? PLEASE I NEED TO TALK TO HIM NOW. IT’S AN EMERGENCY” screamed Xander.
“William, it’s Xander and something’s wrong” Buffy said as she handed Spike the phone.

“Whelp? What’s the matter” Spike asked.
“Oh..God...Oh God...I’m so sorry....she’s hurt...she’s hurt bad,Will. We’re at County General in the emergency room.
There was so much blood. Oh God” Xander was hysterical.
“Calm down, Xan. Calm down. Who is hurt? What happened?” Spike questioned him with an uneasy feeling beginning to
take hold in the pit of his stomach.
“Anya. I tried to stop. The brakes, they wouldn’t work Will. I swear toGod. I tried to make it stop but it wouldn’t. Your car
is totally trashed, man and oh God, Anya....” Xander began sobbing.
“Stay there, Xan. Buffy and I will be right there. I’m coming. You hang in there, mate” Spike hung up the phone and Buffy
looked at him with questioning eyes.

“There’s been an accident. I lent Xander my car to take Anya out tonight. I took the bus here earlier, anyway, something
about the brakes. Buffy, I’m sorry but he said Anya was hurt real bad. We need to go to County General. Do you know
where that is?” Spike explained.
“Oh God. Yes, I do. Come on, let’s go” Buffy grabbed her purse and jacket as Spike pulled his duster on and they were
out the door and on their way within minutes.

Buffy started to cry on the way there and had to pull over and switch with Spike so he could drive.
“I’m sorry. It’s just, she was so happy this morning. She took the rest of the day off to go get ready for her date. She was
so excited and oh God...it’s just not fair.” Buffy sniffled.
“I know, pet. Xander was the same way. Helped him all afternoon get ready. He was so nervous” Spike grabbed Buffy’s
hand to hold it, giving it a squeeze.

When they arrived at the hospital it was to find Xander being questioned by a couple of police officers. Spike and Buffy
rushed to his side.
“Are you O.K.?” Spike asked Xander.
“No, not really. Not until I know Anya is going to be alright” Xander answered.

Spike thought about how he would feel if it was him and Buffy in the same situation and nodded his head.
“I’m so sorry, Xander” Buffy hugged him. “Do we know anything yet? How is she?”
“I don’t know. The doctor hasn’t come back yet” Xander answered.

“Is this the owner of the vehicle?” one of the police officers asked Xander while pointing at Spike.
“Yeah, he let me borrow it tonight” Xander told him.
“Your cars been impounded and is at our police lot. It’s totaled anyway so won’t be much use to you but you’ll need to
come get your personal belongings” he informed Spike.
“I am soooooooooo sorry about your car, Will” Xander apologized.
“Sod the car, Xan. You’re O.K. and....Anya will be too and that’s what matters” Spike assured him.

One of the officer’s two way radio went off and he walked away a few steps to engage in conversation with whoever was
on the other end. He came back a few minutes later and turned to Spike.
“Did you have any trouble with your brakes the last time you drove your car, Sir?” he questioned Spike.
“No, Sir. In fact, I had new brakes put on before Xander and I moved here to go to UCLA from Sunnydale and that was
just a little while ago” Spike answered the officer.
“Son, do you know anyone that would want to hurt you or your friend?” the officer asked.
“Uhhhh...noo....why?” Spike felt the uneasiness again.
“That call was from one of our investigators who was checking your car out. It appears that the brakes were tampered
with. Looks like someone was trying to kill you” the officer informed him.

Spike’s head spun and Buffy went wide-eyed and gasped. Xander slumped in his chair and cradled his head in his
hands.
“Kkkillll meeeee? Why would anyone want to kill me?” Spike said nervously.
“Well, that’s what I’m going to find out, son.” The officer told him.

Just then, the doctor came out into the waiting area and walked up to them.
“How is she?” Xander jumped to his feet.
“Well, we’ve stablized her which is good but she’s not out of the woods yet. She has a broken leg and various cuts and
abrasions but the worst was some internal bleeding but we’ve got that under control now. She is still unconscious. The
sooner she wakes up, the better. We’ll know more then” the doctor explained.
“Can I see her?” Xander asked teary eyed.
“We’re moving her to ICU now. As soon as she is situated, I’ll send someone out to get you.” The doctor answered him.
“Thank you” Xander replied.

“I’m going to call Fred and Wes. Maybe they know if she has some family” Buffy said and left Spike with Xander to go
outside so she could use her cell phone.
Spike and Xander sat next to each other, both in a dazed shock over what had happened.
“I don’t understand. Who would do something like this?” Spike asked no one in particular.
“I’m so sorry, Xander. Someone wanted to hurt me and instead they got you and Anya. I feel like it’s all my fault” Spike
told him.
“No, Don’t think that Will. It could just of easily been you hurt. Don’t blame yourself because some psycho tried to kill
you and got me by mistake” Xander responded.

Buffy came back a few minutes later. She let the guys know that Fred and Wes were on their way too and that Anya didn’
t have any family. She was an orphan and had been raised in the California Foster Care system so there was no one
else to call. Twenty minutes later, Fred and Wes came through the doors. There were hugs all around as they waited
for more word on Anya’s condition.

The two police officer’s came back and asked Xander and Spike a few more questions and then repeated their earlier
ones.
“Are you sure there isn’t anyone who has, even a little bit been upset with you or mad at you recently?” the one officer
grilled Spike.
Spike’s eyes met Buffy’s and a silent exchange passed between them as her eyes widened.
“Oh God!” Buffy put her hand to her mouth.
“Miss? What?” the officer turned to her.
“It’s because of me. There is someone. I refused to go out with him. William and I are together you see and anyway, this
other guy was really upset and he left me a really hateful message on my machine. I can’t believe he would do
something like this though.” Buffy explained.
“You mean, Riley?” Wes spoke up.

Buffy nodded.
“Riley who?” the officer inquired.
“Riley Finn, he works with Buffy, Wes and I” Fred said softly. “He has been acting rather strange lately and talks bad
about Buffy any chance he gets” Fred told the officer.
“He does? Why didn’t you tell me Fred?” Buffy asked.
“I didn’t want to upset you. I never thought he would do something like this” Fred answered.

The police officer called over his radio for Riley Finn to be brought in for questioning.
Spike was pacing back and forth. “That git could’ve killed Xander, Buffy!”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault” Buffy was crying.
“No, Buffy. If Riley did this, he is obviously unstable and nothing you did or didn’t do would have stopped him” Wes was
the voice of reason.
“I gotta get out of here for a bit.” Spike moved towards the doors.
“William...please” Buffy tried to stop him.
“Just let me be. I just need some air. I’ll be back” Spike said and was out the door.

“He blames me. I almost got his best friend killed and he hates me now” Buffy cried.
Fred came over to her and hugged her. “He doesn’t hate you. He loves you, Buffy. He just needs some time to process
everything that has happened.”
“Yes, I’m sure he will be fine, Buffy” Wes echoed Fred’s sentiments.

A nurse came out then and took Xander back to the ICU unit to see Anya.
“Please let her be O.K.” Buffy prayed as Wes and Fred got her to sit down.
They all sat there in silence for about thirty minutes until they saw Xander come back into the waiting room. Buffy looked
up at his tear streaked cheeks.
“Is she going to be O.K.?” she asked.
Xander opened his mouth to speak

chapter 17

“Is she O.K.?” Buffy repeated.
“She just woke up and the first thing she asked the doctor was if she will be able to have orgasms again. She is going to
be just fine” Xander beamed through his tears of happiness.
“OH Thank God!” Buffy hugged him.
Fred and Wes offered their sense of relief as well. They both knew Anya longer than anyone else there.

“Where is Spike?” Xander asked finally noticing he wasn’t among the group.
“He went out to get some air” Wes informed him. “He’ll be back soon, I’m sure”
“Can we see her now too?” Buffy asked.
“Two at a time they told me” Xander answered.
“Why don’t you and Fred go back first and then I’ll go back with Xander or with Spike if he comes back afterwards” Buffy
said to Wes.
“O.K. We won’t stay long. I’m sure she needs her rest.” Wes stood and took Fred by the hand and they left Buffy and
Xander alone in the waiting area.

“Xander, I know you don’t really like me too well and sorry about all the hugs but Anya, although a new friend is still my
friend and also I couldn’t help but think if that had been William instead and I know I would be just as devastated as you
are about Anya. I’m sorry we’ve gotten off to a bad start but you’re William’s best friend and it would mean a lot to me if
we could be friends too....I’m babbling now aren’t I?” Buffy told him.
“I’m sorry too, Buffy. I shouldn’t have yelled at you on the phone the other day like that. I was just looking out for Will. I’
ve watched him hurting because of you and it upset me but you’re who he wants to be with and I have to respect that. I’d
like to be friends too. Truce?” Xander replied to her.
“Truce” she smiled and patted his hand.

Just then Spike took the opportunity to show up. He observed Xander and Buffy making nice with each other and
mentally kicked himself for being such a jerk to Buffy before. If Xander could accept what happened and not fault Buffy,
he had to too. It’s not like it was her fault. Riley was evidently a loony bin just waiting to open and if it hadn’t been Buffy it
would have been someone else or he could have still obsessed about Buffy even without her going out with him that
one time. The only person to blame for this was Riley himself, if he did indeed cause this. Spike was pretty sure he did
though.

“Any news yet? Where are Wes and Fred?” Spike asked his girlfriend and best friend as he walked up.
“She’s awake and going to be alright!” Xander jumped to his feet and gave Spike a hug.
“Wes and Fred are back with her now and then we can go see her when they get done, William” Buffy said softly, not
meeting his eyes, afraid he was still mad at her.

He sat down next to her and took her hand.
“I’m sorry for leaving like that. I was a right wanker. Forgive me?” Spike tilted her chin up with his finger to look in her
eyes.
“Of course I do. There’s nothing to forgive anyway. You just needed some time to process things” she repeated what
Wes and Fred had told her earlier.
“I’m so relieved she is alright. I guess this might be a bad time to ask how your date went, huh Xan?” Spike smiled at him.
“They say laughter is the best medicine” Xander smiled back. “Actually, we were having a wonderful time. We had just
had dinner and we were on our way back to her place when the brakes went out on me”

“I wonder if the police picked him up yet” Spike pondered out loud.
“I hope so. I sure don’t want to run into him at work” Buffy said.
“I wonder if we need to get some type of restraining order for you, Buffy and maybe me seeing as I’m the one he was
going after” Spike told her.
“We should call the police tomorrow and ask what we should do. Oh God, Spike, what if this isn’t the only thing he did?
What if my brakes go out on my car? What if he did something at my apartment or your dorm or..” Buffy was getting
frantic.
“Calm down, pet. I don’t think he has but I’ll check the car before we drive home if it’ll make you feel better and we can
see if the police might be able to check our residences. They might already have to. Riley had to of tampered with my
car at either the school or at your place so they might need to check for evidence at both places.” Spike explained.
“You’re right. It just scares me to think that someone could do something like this so easily” Buffy said.

Wes and Fred came back out. They offered Xander their well wishes and then bid the three of them good night and
headed home telling Buffy they would see her at work.
Xander waited by himself while Buffy and Spike went back to see Anya briefly. She was hooked up to all kinds of
machines and had bruises and cuts all over her skin that was exposed and her one leg was in a cast. She looked
exhausted and was half asleep so they just visited a few minutes to let her know they were all thinking of her and glad
she was going to be O.K.

They went back to get Xander and he told them he was going to stay the night with her at the hospital. She had no one
else and he wasn’t going to leave her alone. It was only one date and a disasterous one at that but Xander was already
falling hard for the fiesty and vivacious Anya. He told the hospital he was her boyfriend and she had no other family so
they allowed him to stay.

Buffy and Spike gave him some goodbye hugs and told him to call them when he needed a ride and then they both left
the hospital arm in arm. Spike checked out Buffy’s car before they left the parking lot and gave it an all clear. He drove
them back to her place. They stumbled into the apartment feeling drained but relieved. The remnants of their
sandwiches and soup lay cold on the table. Buffy’s stomach grumbled reminding her of how hungry she still was.

“Want me to whip us up some more sandwiches and soup or something else, pet?” Spike offered.
“I hate to have you go to all that trouble” Buffy told him.
“It’s no trouble at all. Besides I don’t want to listen to your stomach growling at me all night” he teased her.
“You’re actually going to stay all night?” Buffy inquired.
“Yeah, well seeing as I don’t have a car anymore and I don’t fancy taking the bus at 5 in the morning. Besides we need
each other after tonight. You can just drop me at campus before you go to work, alright?” he said.
“That’s fine. I just realized I’ve never been to your dorm. I don’t even know where you live. Maybe I could play hooky
from work and you can show me around” she smiled at him.
“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled back as he began making them an after midnight snack.

Buffy cleaned up the remains of their earlier attempt while he did that. Once their bellies were full, they went to the
bedroom and stripped off their clothes and cuddled together under the sheets of Buffy’s comfortable bed.
“I should be so tired. It’s around 2am and after the night we’ve had but I feel so wired.” Spike told her.
“I know what you mean. I’m tired but I can’t sleep if that makes sense” Buffy responded.
“Yeah, perfect sense, luv” he replied.
“Maybe we should try and tire each other out?” Buffy questioned teasingly.

Spike saw the look in her eyes. She just needed to be close to someone, to him. And he needed to be close to her.
Each of them had similar thoughts through the course of the evening and Buffy voiced them now.
“I don’t know what I would have done if it had been you hurt in your car instead. I love you William” Buffy teared up.
“I had the same thoughts, luv. It would’ve bloody killed me if someone happened to you. I love you too, baby” he kissed
her soft and sweetly.

Their kiss grew more passionate. His lips became demanding on top of her as he rolled over onto her. Buffy parted her
legs to allow him to be cradled within. She rubbed his back and arms and buttocks and anywhere she could reach her
hands to touch his bare skin. Spike’s hands drifted lower and massaged her breasts, bringing the nipples to stiff peaks.
He then broke their kisses and moved his head lower to suckle her nipples, one and then the other.

Buffy moaned and arched her back into him. His hands traced patterns down her sides to her hips, down her thighs and
then back up. His now hard cock rubbed sensuously against her heated center. She grinded herself up into him as he
grasped her hips in his hands.
“Please Spike, Now...I need you inside” Buffy panted.
“I’ve got you, luv” Spike purred as he positioned himself at her wet entrance.

He pushed in slowly and brought his weight back down to lie full on top of her and began kissing her again. He pushed
in and out at a slow and easy pace. This was not rough or harsh as many of their previous couplings had been. This
was comfort. It was soft and sensual and both Buffy and Spike felt like they were truly making love to one another. Not
just fucking. Not just getting off. It was almost spiritual in nature. Spike had tears in his eyes as did Buffy when they both
cried out in mutual release.

“God, I love you so much, Buffy” he breathed into her hair as he collasped on top of her.
“I love you too, William. Thank you” Buffy replied.
Spike raised his head to look at her, “ For what, pet?”
“For being my friend. I’ve been with a lot of men and yet you’re the first one that I can actually say is my friend, as well
as my lover” she smiled at him.
“You’re welcome” Spike smiled down at her and kissed her again then rolled taking her with him to lay against his chest.
Safe and warm, they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.
 

Chapter 18



Xander called in the morning and asked if they could come get him so he could go home and shower and change
clothes and then take him back to the hospital. He didn’t even want to leave to change as it was but Anya insisted. She
would have to stay for a couple more days of observation but the doctors expected a full recovery. Of course, she would
have the cast on her leg for 6-8 weeks.

Buffy had indeed called off from work but she didn’t have to play hooky. Fred and Wes had informed her boss what had
happened and he told Buffy to take all the time she needed to help out with Anya and Xander. Spike had called the
police detective and asked him about Riley. He informed him that he had been picked up during the night and was being
held for questioning. They had found his fingerprints all over Spike’s car so they were going to book and charge him.
Spike asked him if he thought they should get a restraining order and he told him it wouldn’t hurt.

Spike had two classes that day but decided to blow them off in favor of being with Buffy and helping cart Xander around
and so they could go down to the courthouse and take out the protection order against Riley. Spike showed Buffy his
and Xander’s dorm while Xander showered.

“...and this is our room” Spike said opening the door after giving Buffy the tour of the common areas already, saving his
bedroom for last.
“Yep..looks familiar. Is it a written code between colleges that all dorm rooms look the same? Willow and my room was
almost identical to this.” She walked around fingering all his belongings.
“funny..neither of you come across as that masculine to me” Spike joked pointing to obvious male items, like aftershave
on his dresser and Xander’s boxer shorts lying on the floor.
“Well, Willow IS gay, but not butch, however she would probably like the magazine” Buffy joked back pointing to the
open naked girlie magazine on one of the desks.

Spike turned crimson. “It’s Xander’s, not mine”
“Look at you blushing. Geez, William. We’ve fucked each other six ways from Sunday and you’re blushing because I
caught you with a girlie magazine. You’re so cute” she reached up and pinched his cheek.
“Hey now. None of that.” He batted her hand away. “I am NOT “cute” he protested vehemently.
“Uh huh..whatever you say” she smiled a knowing smile at him.
“I’ll show you cute” Spike grabbed her and toppled her onto his little single bed with him.

He began kissed her voraciously. She reached down and kneaded his buttocks, pressing hsi jean clad erection into her,
grinding up against him. They were so caught up in the moment they didn’t notice the door open and a freshly
showered and with clean clothes on Xander walk in.
“Whoa! Damn...get a room you guys!” he exclaimed at the display he was witnessing.
Spike jumped what seemed like two feet in the air as he scrambled to get off of Buffy.
“Jesus, mate, you scared the crap out of me” Spike huffed.
“Sorry to interrupt your make out session but I’m ready to go” Xander informed them.
“We are in a room too if you didn’t notice” Spike joked.
“Yeah, MY room” Xander replied.
“Hey, it’s mine too” Spike responded.
“Yeah Yeah...come on Romeo and Juliet...let’s go” Xander was already walking out the door.

Buffy whispered to Spike teasingly, “He’s just jealous because him and Anya didn’t get to have sex yet”
“I’m sure Miss Orgasms herself will change that right quickly. I imagine it will be interesting with the cast and all though.
Poor Xan, his first time and he has to compete with a cast” Spike told her.
“Xander’s a virgin?” Buffy exclaimed, just a little too loud.
“I heard that! Stop talking about me! William was a virgin not too long ago as well as I’m sure YOU remember” Xander
got defensive.
“There’s nothing wrong with that. I was just surprised because you seem so....manly” Buffy tried to stroke his ego,
wanting their “truce” to hold up for William’s sake.
“Well, thank you. I’m a manly man if ever a manly man there was” Xander grinned.

They arrived at Buffy’s car in the parking lot and started to climb in as some boys Xander and Spike knew came walking
by.
“Hey dude” one of them high-fived William and nodded to Xander.
Another of the boys pointed to Buffy, “Man..your Mom is pretty hot for an old chick”.
It was Buffy’s turn to blush in embarrassment and Spike’s face turned red too but in anger instead.
“That’s not my mum, you wanker. That’s my girlfriend.” Spike informed him.
“Whoa..dude, sorry man...didn’t realize...uh...yeah...” he stumbled all over his words.
“Whatever..we gotta go, see ya” they got into Buffy’s car and pulled away as the other boys stared on.

“Oh God. Do I really look that old? Old enough to be your mother?” Buffy was mortified.
“Of course not, Buff. Those guys were idiots anyway.” Xander spoke up from the backseat.
“Yeah, stupid ponces. Christ. Don’t listen to them, Buffy. Just forget about it” Spike tried to reassure her.
Buffy sighed and resigned herself to the fact that this is something she would always have to be faced with at one time
or another as long as her and William were together as a couple.
“I’m O.K. Thanks guys” he told them.

They arrived at the hospital a short time later. Upon walking up to Anya’s room, they heard her engrossed in a
discussion with her doctor.
“Now, you’re sure I can have sex with this cast on? I can’t go 6-8 weeks without orgasms.” Anya said in all seriousness.
The embarrassed doctor explained again that yes she could engage in sexual relations even with the cast.
“That’s my girl” Xander smiled as the three of them entered the room, nodding to the flustered doctor as he left the
room.

“Anya! I’m so glad you’re going to be alright” Buffy came to her bed and leaned down to hug her.
“No thanks to your boyfriend’s car but yes, I will be”
“It wasn’t William’s fault. Didn’t you tell her?” Buffy asked Xander.
“Not yet. She was in and out of sleep all through the night and on pain medicine and everything.” Xander explained.

They spent the next 30 minutes explaining to Anya how Riley had tampered with William’s car, hoping to hurt him and
instead got her and Xander. Anya was furious and vowed to eviserate Riley Finn as soon as she got out of the hospital.
She told Buffy she was in tight with their boss and there was no way Riley would have a job even if he got out of jail on
bail or got off of the charge completely. Buffy was relieved to know she at least wouldn’t have to work with him whatever
the other outcomes might be.

Spike and Buffy said their goodbyes, wishing Anya a speedy recovery and left to go downtown to take out the
restraining order. That took a couple hours and afterwards they decided to go get some lunch. They stopped at a deli
close to the campus and both ordered rueben’s astonished that they had the same favorite sandwich. Afterwards, they
parked Buffy’s car in the lot by his dorm and then Spike took her on a walking tour through the campus, showing her
where his classes were, the library, the student center and various other buildings.

They walked hand in hand, leaning into each other to kiss every so often. They tried not to pay attention to the
numerous stares they were receiving. They came to a park and Spike sat down underneath the shade of a tree and had
Buffy sit between his legs, her back leaning against his chest. They just stayed there embracing and enjoying each
other’s company. Spike talked about school, his classes and major and Buffy told him about her work. They were
actually having a conversation without arguing, spending time with each other without having sex and it felt so good to
both of them. Buffy could have stayed there like that with him forever.

“You know, with all that’s happened, I haven’t even once thought about having a drink. Which is surprising because it’s
usually stressful times like being at the hospital yesterday and waiting to find out if Anya was alright and worrying about
you and Riley that would have made me pick up a drink. I know it can’t be this easy to quit and there are hard times to
come, but just having you here with me, makes it easier to not think about it” Buffy told him.

“I’m glad that I can help you and I’m so proud of you for not doing it” Spike kissed the top of her head.
“It’s only been a few days since I stopped. Don’t be too proud. I’ll probably fall off the wagon in no time” Buffy said.
“Yeah, with a negative attitude like that, you will. Don’t be so cynical, luv. I have faith in you. I believe in you” Spike tilted
her head so he could look at her.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try and be positive girl from now on” she replied.
“That’s the spirit” he smiled down at her.

They finally pulled themselves away from “their” tree as they had now christened it. They drove back to Buffy’s place
where after searching the kitchen, Spike informed Buffy that they needed to go to the grocery store or starve. Two
hours later they were back at Buffy’s unpacking plastic bags filled with both their favorites. Buffy insisted on making sure
Spike had things there since he was over so much and Spike insisted he pay for half the bill.

Spike whipped them up some chicken noodle casserole which Buffy devoured.
“I’m going to get fat if you keep feeding me like this and then you won’t want me anymore” she teased him.
“I’ll always want you, no matter what. Besides we work enough of it off” he grinned at her.
Buffy pushed her plate away from her when she finished. “God, I’m stuffed. That was so good. You should be a chef or
something” she told him.
“Thanks, luv but I’m going for writer instead.” He smiled.
“Maybe you could write about food?” she joked.
“Not exactly what I had in mind but I’ll think about it” he replied.

“I’m so tired. I don’t think I can move from this spot.” Buffy informed him.
Spike got up and moved to Buffy’s chair. He reached down and picked her up and carried her down the hall.
“What are you doing?” she exclaimed.
“Taking my princess to bed so she can rest and since she is too tired to move, I figured I would move her myself” he
answered.
“Are you joining me?” she asked as he laid her down and tucked her in.
“Not yet. I’m going to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes then probably take a shower. I’ll be in when I’m all done.”
He answered.
“Who will keep me company until then?” she pouted.
Spike reached over and grabbed her stuffed pig, “Mr. Gordo will look out for you while I’m gone, O.K., pet?” he smiled at
her.
Buffy took the pig from him and hugged it to her chest. “Alright. Thank you.” She smiled back at him.
“Get some rest, beautiful” Spike stood and turned to leave pausing at the doorway to turn around and see Buffy, lids
already closed and falling into a peaceful slumber.
 

chapter 19


Buffy slowly came awake as she felt a tugging and sucking sensation on her nipples then suddenly a hard stiffness
pressing at her opening, demanding entrance. Her eyelids fluttered open to be met with a shock of white blonde hair at
her breast. Spike looked up at her without removing his mouth from one of her nipples, though he gave her a little shy
smile around it.

She reached down to stroke his hair as he continued sucking one nipple and pinching and tugging it’s mate. She lifted
her hips a fraction and his erection slid in deep and hard.
“Unnnngh” she moaned at the sensation of being filled so completely still half in a daze.
“Oh fuck...so good” Spike ground himself down into her.

He reached down with both his hands and shoved her knees wide, then grasped her thighs and pushed them up and
back until they were near her head. She was spread open wide for him as he plowed into her with all the force he had.
Buffy didn’t know what had overtaken him. He was like an animal. She thanked the powers that be though whatever it
was.

“Christ...that’s it Buffy. Fuck me back. You love that don’t you? Love being fucked by my big cock?” Spike chanted as
he thrust.
“Oh God...yessssssss” Buffy answered him.
“You’re gonna take it all, aren’t you Buffy? It’s yours. All yours, baby” Spike grunted.
“Yes...Spike...Jesus...fuck me..harder...harder” Buffy cried out.
Buffy reached her hands back and grasped onto the rails of her headboard, holding on for dear life.

Spike slammed himself in and out of her slick channel.
“Damn...so tight...God..squeeze it, baby...squeeze my cock.” He ordered her and she clenched and unclenched her
walls around him over and over.
“Ahhhh...yeah..that’s it...Damn..that’s so good...make it so tight for me. Fuck, you’re dripping wet...Unnnghhh” Spike
groaned.

“Spike...please....oh please...fuck me...don’t ever stop fucking me” Buffy panted underneath him.
He reached down and flicked her swollen clit, pushing her over the edge.
“Ahhhhhhh....Unnngh...I’m cumming...oh God, Spike..I’m cumming for you” Buffy felt her juices flooding her, covering his
cock in her essence.
“That’s it. All for me. Cum for me. You’re mine, Buffy. MINE. MINE” he thrust several more times before he started to
shake and jerk over top of her, spilling his seed deep inside her.
“Yes, Yours” Buffy sighed as Spike collapsed on top of her.

As he came back to his senses, he pulled himself up to look down at her.
“God, I love you so much, Buffy. Do you have any idea how much?” he stared into her eyes.
Buffy stared back at those sincere cerulean pools of soul. All his love was written on his face and in those eyes. It took
her breath away.
“I love you too. That was the best wakeup call I’ve ever had. Who needs alarm clocks with you around?” she smiled at
him.
“Yeah, if you press my right buttons, I go off” Spike teased.

He rolled off her and she stretched her body out.
“I’m going to go take a shower. Wanna join me?” she asked him as she got up from the bed.
“Uhh..yeah..alright” Spike answered.
He had never taken a shower with her or anyone before.

Buffy padded into the bathroom and turned on the shower faucet, adjusting it’s temperature until it was just right and
then stepped in, leaving the sliding door open enough for Spike to follow her in. She reached for her vanilla scented
body wash and poured a generous amount into her hand and then began rubbing it all over her body. Spike’s erection
was back in full force as he watched her sensuously rub her own body as the water sluiced down around her.

Spike dropped to his knees and wedged his face between her thighs. Buffy brought her hands up to his shoulders to
steady herself as she felt his long tongue snake out and taste her.
“Oh God...Spike” she moaned.
Spike went to town, devouring her pussy. He ran his tongue all over her from the expanse of skin between her ass and
pussy, all the way up to her clit. He reached his hands around and grabbed her ass cheeks, pulling her into his face. He
breathed in her musky aroma. He began shoving his long muscle into her wet hole, simulating the act of intercourse as
he pinched her clit.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhh.....damn....that tongue...ohhh your tongue...so good...Spike! Ahhhhhhhh..yes..please...oh yeah..fuck
me with that tongue...” Buffy felt like her insides had turned to jelly and her legs were about ready to collapse as he ate
her pussy out like he was a starving man.

He moved up to her clit just as she was about ready to cum and latched onto it sucking for all it was worth and at the
same time, he thrust two fingers up her juicy pussy coating them in her cream. Then he withdrew one of them and slid it
down further and slid it into her ass. He fucked her ass and pussy with his fingers as he sucked her clit and she
exploded.
“UUUUUUUnnnnnnnnngghhhhhhhhh..” was all she could get out as she rode out her mind-blowing orgasm, her juices
squirting out almost projectile onto Spike’s face and into his mouth as he moved his head back a bit. He swallowed
everything he caught, licking his lips as he looked up at her.

“Christ, Buffy. I love the way you taste. I love how you can cum like that.” He told her as he spun her around and bent
her over.
“My turn” he said as he roughly shoved his huge cock into her from behind.
They could both not only feel but hear each other’s wet flesh slapping against the other as he pounded into her from
behind. Her pussy felt so raw and sore but she loved it. She pushed her ass back against him, demanding he go deeper
within her creamy center.

Spike reached down and grabbed a fistful of her hair, yanking her head back a bit, exposing the column of her neck.
“Are you mine, Buffy?” he questioned her huskily.
“Uhnn..God..yes..” she grunted.
“Tell me you’re mine” he ordered her.
“I’m yours...oh God..I’m yours, Spike” Buffy told him.
“What are you, Buffy?” he said in a low voice.
“What? Uhhh..I...ohhh” Buffy didn’t know what he expected her to say.

Spike decided he would have to lead her to get his answers.
“Yes, What? What are you? Are you my little bitch, Buffy?” Spike thrust harder.
“Ohhh...yes...I’m your bitch...” Buffy moaned, finally realizing where this game was going.
“And what else are you, bitch? Are you my sweet slut?” he swirled his hips as he slammed her from behind.
“Ahhhhh...yes..yes...I am” Buffy reached down and began fingering her own clit as he fucked her hard.
“Say it. You need to say the words, Buffy” Spike demanded.
“I’m your slut....oh God..Spike..I’m your slut...” Buffy panted.
“That’s right bitch. You’re MY slut. What else are you, Buffy?” he whispered into her ear seductively.

Buffy knew what he wanted and God help her, she wanted it too. He didn’t need to lead her this time.
“I’m your whore, Spike...oh God...I’m YOUR whore...fuck me please” Buffy was almost crying.
“That’s right. You’re MY whore. I AM fucking you, whore. Feel me? FEEL ME! Feel me fucking you, sweet little slut...
unnghh...I love your sweet little cunny...mmmmm”

Buffy saw stars as she fell over the edge. The pleasure was so intense it was almost painful. She felt like a cork being
plucked out of a wine bottle, shooting off, hard and intense. She could feel her tears mingling with the water falling
around them. Spike suddenly withdrew from her and spun her back around and down to her knees. He jerked his cock a
couple of times and then exploded all over her face, drenching her in his cum.
Buffy darted out her tongue, trying to capture what she could.

Spike, spent and exhausted, slumped back against the shower wall and slid down until his ass rested against the ledge.
“Are you O.K.?” Buffy asked him as she watched him hanging his head.
He looked up at her, “I think I should be asking YOU that. God, I’m sorry, Buffy. I completely lost it.” He ran his fingers
through his now damp locks.
“I loved every minute of it, Spike” Buffy assured him.
“But...I made you cry...” Spike began.
“I know...not because you hurt me though. It was a good cry. It was just so intense emotionally...and physically..that’s all.
You didn’t hurt me...well not in any way I didn’t want you to” she scooted closer to him and lay her head in his lap and
rubbed her cheek against his thigh, like a kitten.

“I guess we better actually get washed up before the water is ice cold” Spike commented.
“Yeah...guess we better.” Buffy stood up with Spike, both holding onto each other for leverage as their legs were still
like jello.
“Whoa..” Spike started.
“Yeah..whoa” Buffy mimicked him.
She smiled and kissed him softly then handed him the shampoo bottle.
“Here, do me then I’ll do you” she said.
Spike laughed, “We’re never going to get out of here, are we?”
Buffy laughed and then just enjoyed the sensation of Spike’s fingers working the shampoo throughout her hair and
scalp.

Several days passed and it was time again for Buffy’s AA meeting. She had not had a drink in 9 days. She walked into
room number 314 where the meetings were held in the W&H building. Angel spied her almost immediately and was at
her side.
“Hi Buffy. How are you?” he smiled charmingly.
“Good. Thank you Angel.” She smiled back at him. “9 days, clean and sober” she beamed.
“That’s wonderful, Buffy! I’m so proud of you” he put his arms around her and hugged her.
“I’m proud of me too. Oh, and William is coming tonight. You did say family members were encouraged to participate
right?” Buffy asked him.
“Uhh..yeah...that’s....great” Angel squeaked out.
“He had to take the bus. His car was wrecked in an accident but he should be here any minute” Buffy moved to pull
away from Angel’s lingering embrace.

Spike walked into the building and found the room number that Buffy had told him her meeting was at. He opened the
door and scanned his eyes over the crowd. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes came to rest on Buffy being
embraced by a tall, dark and handsome stranger. He saw red. He stomped over to where she was, now moved slightly
away from the other man and placed a possessive hand on her shoulder gripping her so tightly it was sure to leave a
bruise.

Buffy felt the hand and turned her head. Her initial reaction was to smile upon seeing William but then she felt the
bruising force of his grip and the coldness in his eyes and she knew he must have seen Angel hug her and was barely
containing his jealousy.
“William! I’ve been waiting for you. I was just telling Angel you were on your way” Buffy tried to act like everything was
alright.

Angel eyed the young man with bleached hair and a long leather coat thinking to himself what on earth was a mature
beautiful woman like Buffy doing with this punk kid?
He forced himself to smile and extended his hand to shake Williams.
“Hello William. A pleasure to meet you” Angel smiled.
“It’s Spike, mate, likewise” Spike gripped Angel’s hand in a more than needed forceful hold.
“Uhh...Spike? ahhh...O.K.” Angel smiled that plastered on fake smile again.

Buffy took note that William’s accent had become gruff and street like, as it tended to do when he was upset or putting
on a show for someone.
“Yes, Spike is his nickname.” Buffy told Angel.
“I can only imagine how you got that” Angel tried to pretend like he was joking good heartedly but Spike narrowed his
eyes.
“I rammed a railroad spike through a guys head when he tried to mack on my girl” Spike lied convincingly.

Angel’s eyes widened slightly.
“Hahah..you’re so funny sweetie. He’s a barrel of laughs, isn’t he, Angel?” Buffy tried diffusing the tension. “Angel? Are
you alright? He’s just joking.” Buffy told him.
“Uhh..yeah..hah..funny..real joker you are” Angel gave Spike the once over again and then excused himself to go
mingle with some other members before the meeting started.
“Poofter” Spike said to his back.
“Spike..stop it. He is a very nice man. What’s your problem?” Buffy said in exasperation.
“My problem is I don’t like tall dark and forehead groping my girl.” Spike said between clenched teeth.
“He wasn’t groping me. He gave me a little hug. He was congratulating me for being clean for 9 days. That’s all.” Buffy
explained.
“Yeah...whatever” Spike turned from her and took a seat in the back row. Buffy wordlessly followed him and sat down
beside him.

Angel came over and sat on her other side right before the meeting started. A muscle in Spike’s jaw twitched as he
tensed. He did not like this Angel wanker. He didn’t care what Buffy said. This guy was nothing but trouble. The meeting
started and anytime Angel would talk, Spike would snicker or make comments under his breath until Buffy was so
agitated with him she couldn’t stand it anymore.

She leaned over to Angel and whispered, “Angel, I just remembered, we have a prior appointment. We need to leave
early. I’ll see you next week”
“Umm..O.K. Buffy. Are you sure you’re alright?” he motioned towards Spike.
“Yeah...see you then” Buffy stood and grabbed Spike’s hand, dragging him out of the room.
“Christ, Buffy..what the hell did you do that for?” he yelled as they stood in the hallway.
“Hey passive aggressive guy! You wanna take it down a notch or two in there?” she yelled back at him.
“What did I do?” he tried to act innocent.
“Oh please. You know what you did. Look, I love you and I’m going to say this once. There is nothing going on with
Angel other than friendship and support. He IS my sponsor and you need to learn to live with that. He has been nothing
but a gentleman to me and he was nice to you too. Now grow up and get over it!” Buffy turned and walked away.

Spike followed her, catching up to her outside in the parking lot by her car.
“Wait, Buffy...please.” he said, climbing into the passenger side as she got in the drivers.
“I’m sorry. I just....I don’t like him Buffy. He is trouble. Mark my words. I see the way he looks at you and it’s not just a
sponsor you in AA look.” Spike informed her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He hasn’t said or done anything inappropriate” Buffy said.
“So you would still be willing to allow him to sponsor you even knowing how uncomfortable it makes me? You’d choose
an almost stranger over me?” Spike gave her the puppy dog eyes.
“Oh no you don’t Mister. You’re not going to guilt me over this. What are you going to do Spike? Stop any and all
contact I have with anyone of the opposite sex? You don’t own me” she argued.

Spike reached over and grabbed the back of her head and smashed his lips to hers. He pulled away, “Yes, Buffy. I do.
Just as sure as you own me. Never forget who you belong to.” He gave her a long and hard look then opened the car
door and got out.
“Where are you going?” she inquired.
“Gonna take the bus home. I love you. I’ll call you” and with that he shut the door and walked off.

Buffy sat in her car in silence for several minutes before the tears started to flow. That was how Angel found her. She
was startled by a knock on the window. She jumped a bit then saw him peering in. She rolled the window down a few
inches.
“Hey..Buffy? Are you alright? Oh my God..are you crying? What did that punk do to you?” Angel’s face turned into a
mask of fury.
“Nothing...nothing..we just had a disagreement....he went home..he didn’t do anything to me. I’m O.K.” she told him.
“You don’t look O.K. Why don’t we go get a cup of coffee and talk?” Angel asked her.
“Umm...I don’t know...” Buffy faltered, thinking about the words Spike just told her.

Damn him. He can’t dictate to me who I talk to. I’m a grown woman. Right? I can have coffee with Angel if I want to. The
battle inside her raged. Looking up at Angel she smiled through her tears.
“Yeah O.K....that would be nice.”
“Great. Let’s go” Angel helped her out of her car and they proceeded to walk to the coffee shop next door, neither one
taking note of the young man standing half way down the block watching them with clenched fists and tears streaming
down his face.
 

Chapter 20


Spike was waiting for Buffy when she got home, well after midnight, hours after they had parted company earlier. After
watching her walk away with Angel, he had opted to go back to her place instead of the dorm. He had a key after all. He
sat in the darkness on the sofa. He could make out the time on the wall clock from the moonlight streaming in through
the still open blinds. The minutes turned into an hour and then two and then three and so on as Spike became more
upset with each passing minute.

Finally he heard the a key in the lock and the front door opened to reveal Buffy. He could see her but she hadn’t
noticed him yet. She came in and dumped her purse and jacket on the chair near the phone.
“Did you fuck him?” came a low voice in the darkness behind her and she jumped, spinning around.
“Jesus Christ William! You scared me half to death.” She gasped, her heart racing a mile a minute.

Spike ignored her and repeated his question, “Did you fuck him, Buffy?”
“How can you ask me that?” Buffy sighed.
“Just answer the question” he demanded.
“Would you really believe me anyway? You seem to have already made up your mind” Buffy said in frustration.
“DID YOU FUCK HIM?” Spike almost screamed as he rose from his seat.
“NO, I DIDN’T FUCK HIM YOU JACKASS!” Buffy screamed back and then turned and ran into her bedroom.

Spike breathed a sigh of relief and then followed her. Buffy had curled up in a ball underneath her covers with all her
clothes still on. Spike laid down behind her and reached for her.
“Don’t touch me” Buffy shook his hand off her.
“I just want to hold you. That’s all” Spike said softly.
“Are you absolutely insane? You just accuse me of fucking another man and now you want to act like nothing happened
and hold me. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Buffy said increduously.
“I’m sorry. Please, Buffy.” Spike pleaded with her.

“I know I’ve hurt you in the past, William. I know there have been times when I deserved your wrath or jealousy but
tonight wasn’t one of those times. I didn’t do anything wrong. Angel didn’t do anything wrong. If anyone was wrong, it
was YOU. I love you but this irrational jealousy you have has got to stop.” Buffy told him.

“I’m sorry a hundred times over. I can’t help it, Buffy. I just get so crazy and keep thinking about the stuff you did before
and that stupid git, Riley and I lose it. Then when you didn’t come home. I mean, where were you? It’s been hours. What
was I supposed to think? I don’t know how to stop it....the jealousy. It just takes me over. I know I was a right wanker
tonight. Please forgive me? I love you, baby” Spike begged her.

Buffy looked at his face and was lost. She couldn’t stay mad at him if she wanted to. She was addicted to him.
“Come here” she put out her arms and he came into them.
She hugged him to her breast and he clung on to her for dear life. He started to cry and she stroked his hair, “Ssshhhh..
baby, It’s O.K. I forgive you. I love you. Angel and I just talked, closed the coffee place down. Most of the talk was about
you. I love you so much. I hate fighting with you”
“I love you too. I’m so afraid I’m going to lose you. Please don’t leave me Buffy.” Spike sniffled.
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise, William. Ssshhh....you’re my beautiful boy” she comforted him.

Several weeks went by and Buffy continued going to her meetings but Spike and her decided it was best if he stayed
away. He hated every second she was gone on her meeting night and still seethed at the thought of Angel but he had
promised her he would try and control his jealousy so he bit his tongue.

Anya had recovered nicely, though still had the cast on but had been allowed to return to work, on crutches, finally.
Xander and her were even more inseperable than Spike and Buffy. When they had finally consummated their
relationship, Anya told Spike and Buffy all the details much to their horror and Xander’s beet red face and numerous
protests.

Tuesday nights became couples night and either Anya and Xander would come to Buffy’s or Spike and Buffy would go
to Anya’s. They would order take out food and play board games or card games. Sometimes they rented movies. The
boys barely ever were at their dorm. Gradually each began almost living with their female counterpart. Buffy had to clear
out a drawer in her dresser and some space in her closet for Spike’s clothes that kept ending up at her place. Not that
she minded.

She had not had a drink as of yet. She had cleaned out her apartment of all beer and liquor, dumping it all down the
drain. Her meetings were going well and Angel was a big help in her struggle. They often had coffee after their meetings
but she didn’t stay long, knowing Spike was waiting for her at home. She figured if he was willing to compromise then
she should not take advantage of that fact. She knew he was still jealous and uncomfortable about her spending time
with Angel but he was trying so hard and she was grateful for that.

She didn’t want to admit to Spike, heck she didn’t even want to admit to herself that there were times when Angel said or
did something that make her slightly uneasy. She couldn’t put her finger on it. She thought maybe she was just allowing
Spike’s paranoia to rub off on her but still, some part in the back of her mind kept whispering that something just wasn’t
quite right. Women’s intuition, perhaps? She should have listened to it but instead she pushed the thoughts away, her
pride not wanting to deal with an “I told you so” from Spike.

It was the night of her AA meeting and she had just left Spike and Xander at her place where they were studying for
some of their classes. When she got to the meeting, Angel was not there. Not 10 minutes into it her cell phone went off.
She went out in the hallway as to not disturb the other members.

“Hello” she answered.
“Buffy...it’s me” came the voice.
“Angel? Is that you?” Buffy inquired.
“Yeah...Oh Buffy...I..I fell off the wagon...I...I need...can you please come over and...talk?” Angel pleaded.
“Oh Angel..of course. What’s your address?” she asked him.

He gave her the address.
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Buffy hung up.
Great, she thought. He’s my sponsor and supposed to be helping ME not fall off and here HE is the one that does. I
hope I can do this. I’m new to this sobriety thing. I don’t want to mess him up anymore. Buffy’s mind rambled on and on
as she drove to the address he gave her.

She pulled up to a brownstone style home that had been converted into smaller apartments. She found the one that
was Angel’s and rang the doorbell. It opened almost immediately and there stood Angel, disheveled and unkept. He was
usually always so immaculately groomed.
“You came” Angel said, motioning for her to come inside.
“I told you I would” she smiled.
“Have a seat” he pointed to the sofa in the living room they stood in.
“Thanks” she sat down. “Wanna tell me what happened?” she questioned him.

He came over and sat down next to her, a little too close for her comfort and she moved away a bit to put some space
between them.
“I don’t know. I just...had this urge and I couldn’t control it. I just snapped and went down the street to the liquor store
and got a bottle of whiskey and....got half of it down before I realized what I was doing and that’s when I called you” he
explained to her.
“Did something trigger it? Anything you can remember that happened?” Buffy dug for answers.

Angel slumped over into her and started taking gulping breaths like he was about to cry.
What is it with me and crying men, Buffy thought as Angel proceeded to begin to hug her. She felt kind of awkward at
first and stiffened.
“I’m sorry, Buffy. I just need someone to hug. I feel so horrible” Angel sobbed.
Buffy felt sorry for him and tried to comfort him. She hugged him back and told him it was O.K.

His grip on her became tighter and she tried to loosen his hold.
“Angel...” she began.
“No....let me hold you.” He interrupted her.
“Angel, no. I..I’m here for you as a friend to support you but....this is making me uncomfortable” she explained to him.
Angel lifted his head and looked at her briefly before attempting to kiss her on the lips.
“NO, Angel..stop...please. I didn’t come here for this. I have a boyfriend.” Buffy pushed him off her and went to stand up.

“Oh, yes, the little boyfriend. Jesus, Buffy, he is a kid and a punk at that. What a loser” Angel stood up next to her, his
voice becoming completely coherant and his eyes and face reflecting no signs of being in distress and crying. He’s not
drunk, Buffy’s brain finally registered. I can’t even smell any alcohol on him. And he wasn’t really crying either...Oh God...
no..

“He is not a kid or a punk. He is the man I love. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home.” Buffy made a move to walk
away.
“You’re not going anywhere, you little cock tease” Angel reached out and grabbed her.
“Oh God, please...no..not again.” She cried out.
Angel threw her down onto the couch and flopped his own body down on her pinning her with his weight.

“You think you could just tease me and lead me on week after week and get away with it, didn’t you?” Angel asked her.
“I didn’t lead you on..I didn’t do anything..” Buffy began.
Angel reached his hand out and punched her in the face, splitting her lip.
“You don’t talk unless I tell you to talk. Now, you and I are gonna have a real nice time, aren’t we Buffy?” he grinned
down at her.
“No, please..don’t do this, Angel.” Buffy begged and pleaded with him.

Angel grabbed her shirt in the middle and savagely ripped it open, sending buttons flying everywhere. He roughly
grabbed a breast and pinched her nipple causing her to cry out in pain.
“Nooo...No” Buffy screamed.
“Shut up you bitch!” Angel began slapping and punching her all about the face and head.
Buffy fought for all she was worth. Using her lower body strength, she bucked him up and off of her and he crashed
down into the coffee table.
She scrambled off the sofa and started to run. He grabbed her at the last second and tripped her down onto the floor as
she kicked at him. She screamed at the top of her lungs for help, praying a neighbor would hear and come to her
rescue. But no one came. She was all alone....and he was going to win...her legs and arms were exhausted from fighting
and her face was bloody and swollen and she was so tired....he was going to win...and there was nothing she could do...

Spike and Xander chugged down cokes and pepperoni pizza with extra cheese as they quizzed each other on the
Spanish Inquisition.
“Damn. I’m never going to pass this test.” Xander whined.
“If you’d pay half the amount of attention to the book as you are the pizza, you just might” Spike rolled his eyes.
“Hey, just because this shit comes so easily to you Mr. Smarty Pants doesn’t mean it does for everyone” Xander told him.
“Well, you could at least try, mate” Spike said.

Xander got up and went to the kitchen to get another soda.
“Hey, man. You guys know you’re out of Coke? Or anything else to drink for that matter” Xander yelled out to Spike.
“Really?” Spike looked at his watch. “Hey, it’s just about time for Buffy to get out of her meeting. She’ll be home in a few
minutes. I’ll call her and ask her to stop and pick some more up. God knows we’re going to be here all night in order to
get you ready for this test.” Spike teased him.

He went over to the phone and dialed Buffy’s cell.

Buffy was still fighting Angel off when her cell rang. The phone was in her jacket pocket she was wearing. As Angel was
grabbing on to her ankles and trying to manuever himself farther up her body, she reached down with one hand and felt
for her phone, pressing the button she knew was the talk one.

Spike heard the phone come on, on the other end but no one said anything.
“Buffy?” he said into the phone. No answer.
“Buffy? Are you there?” he repeated.
“SPIKE..HELP ME..ANGEL IS TRYING TO...thump thump..slap..crack..” Spike heard from the other end of the line.

His heart dropped to his stomach as he heard Buffy scream for help and then a bunch of thumps and something that
sounded like slaps or punches. Fear gripped him as he shouted into the phone, “BUFFYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”
and then the phone went dead on the other end.

Xander came running out from the kitchen hearing Spike screaming. He saw his friend white as a ghost holding the
phone in one hand.
“Spike! What’s going on?” he rushed to his side.
“Buffy...Angel....he’s hurting her....oh God...I don’t know where they are...where he lives...”
Spike reset the phone to a dial tone and called 911.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the operator said.
“My girlfriend....I just called her cell phone and she is screaming that someone is hurting her...the phone clicked off...Oh
god..I don’t know where she is at....” Spike yelled into the phone in a panic as Xander paced back and forth behind him.

“Sir...Calm down. Tell me her name and her cell number” the operator asked him.
“It’s Buffy..uhh 555-3975...she said Angel...was hurting her...he’s a guy she knows....fuck! I don’t know where he lives or
if they’re even at his place” Spike replied.

“Sir, we’re goingto try and trace her cell phone. We might be able to get a lock on the area she is in from the last call
that was made.” The operator informed him.
“Might? MIGHT? Oh my God..I think..I think..he is...he is..rrrraaping her...and you MIGHT be able to trace her?” Spike
could barely get the words out.
Xander grabbed the phone from him as he fell to his knees, sobs racking him.
His beautiful Buffy was being hurt....and there was nothing he could do....

Chapter 21


Buffy came awake slowly, feeling like her head was going to explode. She felt weak and groggy and like she’d been run
over by a truck. She squinted her eyes open and noticed a head and shoulders draped over her mid-section. William.
Where am I? She thought as she looked around the room. Looks like a hospital. Why am I in a hospital? Her mind tried
to grasp at what was going on.

Slowly the images of memories began to flood her. With tears in her eyes, she moved one of her hands slowly to stroke
the hair of the man sleeping on her. When she did, his eyes fluttered open. He shot up from the bed.
“Buffy! You’re awake. Oh baby...I was so scared” Spike took hold of her hand.
“I....I don’t feel so well...” Buffy croaked out.
“I know, honey...don’t try to talk. It’s O.K. You rest. You’re going to be O.K. I love you so much, Buffy” Spike told her.
“Love you...” Buffy slurred and and drifted back off to sleep, the memories of the last 24 hours coming to her in her
dreams.

“SPIKE..HELP ME..ANGEL IS TRYING TO...thump thump..slap..crack..”
Angel grabbed the phone from her pocket and threw it against the wall, shattering it to pieces as he backhanded her
across the face.
“You think your precious little boyfriend is going to save you, bitch? Hah! You’re mine now, Buffy and I’m going to teach
you your place” Angel sneered.

Buffy was almost at the point of exhaustion, ready to give up.
“I know what kind of girl you are, Buffy. You want this as much as I do. Come on, it’s not like you haven’t fucked half the
men in California as it is, what’s one more?” Angel taunted her throwing back in her face some of the things she had
confided in him about her past and alcohol.
“You need to be beaten down and I’m gonna be the man to do that” Angel got some leverage and pulled himself up
onto her.
“No...I don’t want that...please stop, Angel...I won’t tell anyone...just let me go..” Buffy tried to reason with him.
“You think I’m stupid?” SLAP “You think I’d just let you go?” SLAP “Your little William isn’t going to recognize you once I’
m through with you” SLAP Hell, even if he did, he wouldn’t want you anymore anyway” SLAP

Buffy was crying profusely and still trying with what little strength she had left to push Angel off and get away. Out of the
corner of her eye she noticed the cord from an end table lamp coming down the side of the table. She reached out to
try and grasp it.

Angel was in the process of unbuttoning her pants and yanking them down her legs as he continued to hurl insults and
vulgarities at her.
“You’re probably so loose from everyone you’ve fucked, I won’t even be able to feel you. Might just have to fuck that ass
of yours instead. You’re gonna be my girl, Buffy. You’re my girl!” he ranted on.

With everything she had, she grabbed the cord and the lamp wobbled off the table and down into her waiting hand.
Before Angel knew what was happening, she had brought the base of the lamp down as hard as she could on his skull.
He slumped on top of her and she pushed him off of her and in a rage brought the lamp down onto his head again,
shouting at him, “I’m not your girl! I could never be your girl!” The lamp was caked in blood and bits of hair and flesh.
She dropped the makeshift weapon and in incredible pain crawled across the room to where the phone was. She dialed
the three numbers everyone knows by heart.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the operator answered.
“I think I just killed someone...” Buffy slurred out between swollen and beaten lips.

Spike left Buffy to rest and went out to check on Xander and Anya who were in the waiting room. Fred and Wes had
come by earlier but had to get back to work. Willow and Tara were on their way there.
“She woke up briefly but fell back asleep” Spike told them, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. He had been up with her all
night except the little nap he just had when he fell asleep draped over her.
“You really need to get some sleep, man.” Xander told him.
“I’ll be fine. Just need some coffee” Spike replied. “Mrs. Summers still not here?” he asked his two friends.
“No. I’m sure it won’t be long.” Xander assured him.

Spike had called Joyce shortly after arriving to the hospital. They had spoken on the telephone before but had yet to
meet in person. It was the hardest phone call he had ever made. Joyce was hysterical when he informed her that Buffy
had been attacked and was in the hospital. She told him she would be on the first plane down.

“We’ll go get you some coffee and snacks, Will. You wait here. Sit down. Rest a bit” Xander told him as he and Anya
stood to go to the cafeteria.
“Alright, mate.” Spike sat down and closed his eyes recalling the previous day, the worst day of his life.

Spike sobbed hysterically on his knees as Xander kept on the line with the 911 operator. They told him they had traced
her cell to a 4 block radius and had dispatched some patrol cars to the area but without knowing an exact address it
was proving difficult to find her.
“Sir? Hang on...we may have some information...coming in..” the operator told Xander.
“Will...hey..they sent cars out and she just told me she has some more information coming....” Xander patted Spike on
the back.
“Is she alright? Did they find her?” Spike looked up at him, eyes red rimmed.
“I don’t know yet...” Xander told him.
“Oh God....if he did anything to her...I’m gonna kill him, Xander...I swear to God...” Spike threatened.

“Sir? Sir? Are you there?” the operator came back on the line.
“Yeah..yes..I’m here” Xander said.
“We think we’ve got her, Sir. Another 911 call came in from a woman in the same sector. She is on the phone now with
one of my fellow operators. She called herself Buffy. That’s the name the other gentleman there with you gave me,
right?” she questioned Xander.
“YES! That’s her. Oh God...she’s O.K. then?” Xander asked.
“One of the patrol cars in the area is on their way to the address she is at right now. That’s all I know, Sir.” The operator
answered, not allowed to divulge any other information.

“They found her, Will!” Xander informed him.
“Is she alright?” Spike stood up.
“I don’t know..they won’t tell me anything more.” Xander explained.
Spike grabbed the phone back from him.
“Is she O.K.? Have they gotten there yet?” he yelled into the phone.
“Sir! Calm down. They’re almost there. I really can’t give anymore information...” she began.
“I wanna know if my girlfriend is alright...PLEASE tell me!” he sobbed.

Xander grabbed the phone back from him. “Come on man, pull it together”
“Sorry, ma’am. He is upset, obviously...” Xander apologized to the operator.
“I understand. I’m going to have to end this call now but my co-operator has informed the responding officers to call you
as soon as they have any information” she explained to him.
“Uh..O.K. Thank you” Xander hung up the phone.

“Why are you hanging up? What’s going on?” Spike yelled.
“She had to end the call. The cops are gonna call us when they have more informaton, she said.” Xander explained to
Spike.
“Great! So what are we supposed to do..just sit here and wait?” Spike paced back and forth.
“Yeah, it looks that way. She called herself, man. That means she is alive. She is gonna be O.K.” Xander rationalized.
“Oh gee..thanks. She is alive... way to make me feel better...god...I feel so fucking useless..” Spike kicked the coffee
table over cracking it.
“Well, I don’t know about you being alive though now, after Buffy sees what you just did to her table” Xander tried to
lighten the mood.
“I’ll be dead anyway if she isn’t O.K., Xander” Spike sighed and slumped down onto the sofa.

“William? Excuse me. Are you William?” Spike awoke in the same chair he had dozed off in. He looked up to see an
attractive middle aged woman who resembled Buffy.
“Mrs. Summers?” he questioned.
“Yes” she answered.
“Thank you for coming. I’m so sorry” Spike apologized.
“Thank you for calling me, William” she pulled him into an embrace. “My daughter is quite enamored with you. I can see
now, why” she smiled warmly at him.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect her....” William began
“It’s not your fault and please call me Joyce. Now, where is Buffy? Is she alright?” she asked him.
“Come with me. I was just letting her rest a bit. She woke up before but fell back asleep. Our friends Xander and Anya
just went to get me some coffee and food and I was waiting for them to come back. Willow and Tara are on their way
here as well.” Spike informed Joyce as he led her back to Buffy’s room.

Spike pushed open the door for Joyce and she gasped as she took in the sight of her daughter lying there bruised and
beaten.
“Oh dear Lord.” She rushed to her bedside.
“Buffy, baby. Oh my little girl.” Joyce began to cry and stroked her daughter’s forehead.
“What happened? Did he...Did he?” Joyce couldn’t find the words.
“He attacked her, beat her up but she stopped him before he could do anything else, Joyce. She is a strong lady” Spike
told her.
“That’s my girl. My brave strong, Buffy. Where is the bastard that did this? I swear I’m going to...” Joyce began.
Spike cut her off, “Uhh..Joyce..that’s the other thing. I didn’t mention it on the phone. I didn’t want to make you anymore
upset” Spike sighed. “Joyce, he is dead. The man that did this. Buffy hit him over the head with a lamp to get away and...
well..it killed him. The police officers told me bits and pieces. Buffy hasn’t been fully awake enough yet to tell us all
exactly what happened.” Spike informed Joyce.

“You must think me a cold woman, William but I’m glad that piece of scum is dead. I would’ve killed him myself if given
the chance.” Joyce said.
“I know how you feel. I don’t think of you as cold at all.” Spike responded. “I was so scared. I’ve never been so scared in
my life. I love your daughter more than anything, Joyce” Spike confided in her.
“I know you do, dear. She loves you too. She has never spoken about anyone as she does about you, William.” Joyce
smiled at him again.

“I better go back out. Xan and Anya will be wondering where I ran off to and if Willow and Tara show up...” Spike
explained.
“You go ahead, dear. I’ll sit with Buffy for awhile.” Joyce watched him leave the room then turned back to her daughter
and held her hand and began singing her a favorite child hood song, “Three Little Fishies”. Buffy may be pushing thirty
but she was still and would always be her little girl.

Spike found Xander and Anya in the waiting room.
“We just got back. Was wondering where you were” Xander said. “Here’s your coffee”
Spike took the paper cup from him. “Thanks, mate. Joyce is here. She is back with Buffy now.” He informed them.

Just then, the waiting room doors flung open and Willow and Tara came running in, worried looks across their faces.
“Spike! Oh God, I’m sorry it took us so long. I should have checked my voice mail sooner. Where is she? How is she?”
Willow babbled.
“Joyce is back with her now. She is sleeping but she did wake up once. She looks pretty bad but the doctors told us she
would recover fully, at least physically” Spike looked down.
“Oh, thank Goddess” Willow sighed.

The five friends all sat down waiting patiently while Joyce visited with Buffy.
Not long into their wait, two police detectives came into the waiting room and asked Spike and Xander if they could come
to the station and give their statements as to what had transpired the evening before. They would need to question
Buffy when she woke up too, they informed Spike.
“She’s not in trouble, is she? She was defending herself!” Spike raised his voice.
“Calm, down young man” the older detective told him. “We’re not planning on charging Miss Summers with anything. We
do, however need her statement for our reports. We have a dead guy in the morgue and we need to make sure we
report everything accurately” he explained to Spike.
“O.K. Do you want us to come now?” Spike inquired.
“That would be great, if you could.” He answered.
“Alright.” Spike replied.

Xander and Spike went back to their friends and informed them that they had to go to the police station to make out
statements but they would be back shortly. The two men left with the two detectives leaving the three girls to wait
together. Joyce came out about an hour later and seeing Willow, took her surrogate daughter into her arms for a big
hug.
“Willow. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. My how you’ve grown into a beautiful woman” Joyce smiled at her then
turned her gaze to Anya and Tara.

Recognizing Tara from photographs Willow had sent, she hugged her as well, “You must be Tara. You’re even more
lovely in person. So nice to finally meet you” Joyce told her.
“You too, Joyce. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances though” Tara said.
“Me too, dear. Me too” Joyce replied.

“I’m Anya. Xander’s girlfriend and I work with Buffy” Anya stuck her hand out to shake with Joyce.
“None of that, we’re all family here” Joyce said as she embraced Anya as well. “Buffy has mentioned you and Xander
many times when we’ve spoken on the phone” Joyce informed her.

“Joyce....how is she?” Willow said in a serious tone.
“She....she doesn’t look too good, Willow but I talked to her nurse while I was back there and she told me the doctor said
she was going to be just fine...but her face...it’s pretty bad” Joyce responded.
“Can I see her, now?” Willow asked.
“Yes, dear. Of course. I’ll take you back.” Joyce led Willow away.

“I hope the guy that did this to her gets what is coming to him” Tara said as her and Anya sat back down.
“Oh..didn’t they tell you?” Anya asked her.
“Tell us what?” Tara inquired.
“Angel, the guy that attacked Buffy. He’s dead. Buffy killed him.” Anya answered.
“Oh..wow..no..we didn’t know...oh God. Poor Buffy...” Tara trailed off.

Willow sat with Joyce at Buffy’s bedside, tears rolling down her cheeks. Buffy slowly opened her eyes and saw her best
friend softly crying.
“Willow...hey...don’t cry sweetie..please...I’m going to be O.K.” Buffy mumbled.
“Oh, Buffy! You’re awake. I’m so sorry.” Willow cried.
The other face in the room came into focus.
“Mommy?” Buffy said.
“Yes, honey...I’m here.” Joyce came around to the other side of the bed and leaned over to kiss the top of her head.
“Mommy...it hurts..” Buffy started to cry then.
“Oh, baby...I know..I’m sorry..do you need some more pain medicine. Want me to call the nurse?” Joyce asked.
“Yes...please...oh...Mommy...I killed him....I remember...I killed him Mommy...” Buffy sobbed.

Willow’s eyes opened wide to the first time of hearing this knowledge.
“It’s O.K., Buffy. You did what you had to do. No one blames you for anything.” Joyce told her.
“Am I going to jail?” Buffy questioned.
“What? No! Of course not” Joyce replied.
“He was going to...he was...I tried to make him stop...he wouldn’t...didn’t listen...I...didn’t mean to kill him..but he wouldn’t
stop and I wasn’t going to go through that again...not again...no no no.” Buffy rambled on.
“Again?” Willow spoke up. “Buffy? What do you mean, again?”
“Honey?” Joyce looked at her questionly as well.

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was time. Time to tell the two most important women in her life her
decade long secret.
“Parker Abrams raped me when we were in college, Willow. I never told anyone, except William. Not you and not even
my mom” she motioned to Joyce.
“Oh Buffy!” Joyce’s tears began to fall as well.

“I didn’t have to kill him.” Buffy said softly.
“I already told you, honey..” Joyce started.
“No..the first time I hit him, knocked him out. I could have gotten away. All I could see was his face and Parker’s face,
morphing back and forth and I hit him again...and again...I wanted him dead, Mommy. I murdered him. Oh God...” Buffy
sobbed.

The three women held onto each other for dear life, tears mingling and falling to the floor at Buffy’s revelation.
 

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