Chapter Eight: She Tears My Clothes, She's Everything To Me

Feeling her hands gently rub the back of his neck made William gradually tighten his grip around her waist and deepen their kiss further. He almost felt like he was inexperienced in what he was doing, this was the closest he had been to a woman since his fate intervened with his seemingly happy existence and turned his world upside down.

Yet despite the fact that he had no idea what Buffy looked like, other than the words of Tara who said she had striking green eyes, William realised he was enjoying this moment not because of what Buffy looked like but because of who she was.

// She is so compassionate and concerned and she was crying like me because our lives are fucked up, I wouldn't care if she wasn't good looking because I have never met someone so genuine//

Buffy could feel his hands encourage her actions further by rocking her further against his body, she spread her legs wider so she could lock their hips closer together as the sun blazed down on her back. Her hands trailed up from his neck and combed through the blonde locks of his hair gripping into them in order to restrain herself when she felt his hand slowly try and find its way up the front of her top and caress lightly through the material of her underwear.

//I should stop this, we can be friends but this, oh my god, holy fuck//

Her mind overloaded when his fingers snaked under the left cup of her bra and teasingly pinched her sensitive flesh. She had to tear away from their embrace and gasp his name out "William"

William could understand why she had ended their kiss, in fact he was glad she had needed to moan out, it made him feel less concerned that he was doing something she didn't want. Yet he was now worried when he felt her hands move his away from her skin and Buffy remove herself from his lap.

"Shit this wasn't supposed to happen" Buffy said downheartedly, she was conflicted, she knew she should leave but then hadn't she decided only minutes before that she couldn't leave William. She knew he needed space though and stood herself up, trying to compose herself.

"It wasn't?" William questioned quizzically. He wondered if she was going to become embarrassed by what had occurred, had he gone to far with touching her? No he hadn't, she had moaned in response to his caress. He wasn't planning on allowing her to brush this kiss off like it meant nothing when he knew it did, he knew she felt it to "Well you seemed pretty into it Buffy"

"I was, sorry, fuck, shit, are you okay?" Were the only words she could think off even if they weren't appropriate at all.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He laughed reaching his hand out for her, he grabbed hold of her foot and tugged at her to sit back down.

Buffy sat by his side again, she didn't understand it but he seemed to have enjoyed what had happened "I don't know I kind off jumped on you" she shrugged.

"No you didn't and in case I got it completely wrong I was joining the fun and so were you" He replied smiling, in this moment he wanted desperately to have his sight back, he needed to know if she was looking at him with happiness or disdain.

She moved a little closer to him, she took several deep breaths before taking his hands in hers and carefully lowering his back onto the ground. She mimicked these actions with herself so that her body lay with his.

"William I was enjoying it" she whispered guiding his head closer to hers, "This is just not what I was expecting today"

"I know the feeling" William replied. He shifted nearer and fumbled slightly to find her lips.

//I've only known her since Saturday but I want her so fucking much, I love how she makes me feel wanted, I love how she kisses.//

Their hands and tongues moved at a quicker pace than before, now that they both knew the other wanted this, they were less unsure at what to do. Still William was at a disadvantage and had to allow Buffy to take control of the set of circumstances they were in. Even though he dominated the kiss with his long wet tongue massaging against hers, Buffy was the one who hands had began to work their way up the front of his top and she rested his on the small of back.

As the kiss ended Buffy caught a glimpse of William grinning at her then lowered onto the lithe skin she had exposed on his stomach and began to shower his flesh in small tingling butterfly kisses, across the light dusting of hair that resided there.

"Fuck" he let slip a feral grunt as her tongue worked its way around his navel and her right hand undid the top button of his jeans and delved underneath the waistband of his boxer shorts.

Buffy moved away from kissing his soft, smooth belly and concentrated instead on leisurely twisting his locks of hair in her fingers and watching as his facial expressions began to merge into ones of lust and excitement the kind she used to see on Angel's face when she did this for him.

///Shit Angel, fuck what if his watching and he sees me doing this, and well he hates me//

She looked upwards for a few seconds as she lowered her hands down the length of him and instantly felt the warmth emanate from his sex and his mould begin to become solid, all as he steadily pushed himself against her palms and let out another grunt. Buffy didn't hear him though because for those few seconds she thought about her last love and how important he was to this moment.

//No he won't hate me, he answered my wish, I asked him to let me have William and he has done it, he is allowing me to move on//

'Thank you' she mouthed but as she went to clench his penis further and show her desire and love for William, she found him push away, leaving the beginnings of his sap on her fingers. She looked at him confused, had she been too forward?

"As much as I like where this is heading, don't you think we should go somewhere, like back to mine?" He suggested, his words were slow, as he panted for breath between each one. William had began to grow rigid in his jeans and wished his common sense hadn't taken over just now and pushed Buffy away from his burning flesh.

"I'd rather stay here" Buffy decided, going back to his would be to scary she considered

//And what if by the time we get there he changes his mind or he meets one of his friends and they realise that I'm homeless, then he be angry that I didn't tell him that. Then he might think I'm only doing this so I can use him for his flat. No I don't mind doing it out here, its beautiful and perfect//

"Aren't there people around?" William questioned, he hadn't really remembered that they were out in public until now and it was the middle of the afternoon, anyone could walk pass and fuck he wished he hadn't stopped her.

"No one" she responded eager to get back to what she had been doing. Her mind had been full of all the things she would do to him if she ever had the opportunity, if she ever got that close to him.

"Take your word for it" he replied nonchalantly as she leaned in and kissed his forehead tenderly.

"We can go somewhere a little more sheltered though" Buffy suggested, she realised it was a little exposed where they were and she had images of some old lady walking her dog and catching them. Then the police would be called and fucking hell if she had to go to the police station with William he would find out about her three years in prison.

Instead, she helped William do his jeans back up. As she rose from the ground, she pulled him up, brushing the blades of grass of their clothes. She knew where they could go that would be free from prying eyes, safe from harm. She was functioning purely on instinct, if she stopped and thought about what she was doing it would be too incomprehensible to deal with.

"Will Strummer be okay if I leave him here?" she asked staring at the dog that was sat on the ground oblivious to what his owner had been up to.

William nodded yes and Buffy carefully tied the led around the base of a small Celtic monument that stood nearby. Both were grateful that guide dogs were so obedient as Buffy guided William into the remains of the castle. She knew this place well having slept there many nights to shelter from the rain and the wind. They walked underneath a decaying archway and further into the building. Most of the roof had long since caved in but Buffy knew of a place that would be perfect for them.

"Do you think I'm taking advantage of you?" she said breaking their comfortable silence as she sat William down on a small wall. She wasn't sure what room this had once been, only that despite being darkened because of the roof and slightly damp, it was beautiful and grand as well.

"Not one bit" he said, unaware of what she was doing until his jeans were undone and fell at his ankles followed by his boxer shorts as Buffy knelt in front of him "Love are you sure, out here?"

"Sheltered, quiet no one cares about this place anymore" Was her quick response. Though she had to admit she didn't really find what she was about to do mutual pleasure she allowed her trusty instinct to guide her.

"You really don't have to do this" he whispered unconvincingly.

"But you want me to" she stated.

William nodded, he couldn't deny that, it would be some kind of sin if he tried to say no it was fine, please don't go down on me because like he thought before he hadn't been with a woman since Drusilla. In such a short time he had began to remember what it was like to feel ignited by someone else.

Buffy descended down onto William's forming erection, as soon as he felt her lips touch the head of his rigid penis William let out a deep growl. He closed his eyes, even though he couldn't see her anyway, he wanted to close his mind from everything and remember her voice. How she spoke in this American-English, slightly Welsh drawl was like an aphrodisiac, stimulating him further as she licked his length fully several times before bringing her hands up towards his inner thighs that and massaged him.

She blew lightly onto his penis before taking him in her mouth. She felt William ease himself in gradually into her hot wet opening and twirled her tongue around him. Still she couldn't believe she was doing this and rested her hands on the wall by his side, hollowing her cheeks out.

//Does this make me a whore, for going down on him after well I guess our first date? I don't think it does, I'm trying to make him happy and he must find it difficult to get any pleasure in his condition. Fuck all these thoughts//

"That's good, yeah" William encouraged her with his words, to let Buffy know how much it meant to him what she was doing as she engulfed him almost completely and began to suck long and deep.

//She is my goddess I swear doing this for me//

His hands grabbed hold of her hair and urged her on "More, mmm more, come on Buffy I love you"

Buffy was pretty sure he was only saying those precious three words because of her actions on his hot, burning, engorged flesh but she continued her activity. Her lips ran down to the tip of his shaft and disconnected her mouth from his skin, leaving a trail of her salvia and juices, until she consumed him again and brought her free hand to her guide him once again into her mouth.

William started to feel dizzy when she did all of this; he arched his back and knew this the heralding his impending orgasm "So good, so fucking good"

He tried to hold his grunting and moaning in, not wishing to gain any attention from curious passer bys but this was ecstasy for him and the words spilled from his mouth.

"Baby, honey, love, Jesus Christ' his words became more like groans, he was unable to form anything coherent as he finally climaxed, Buffy swallowing all of him.

She felt him relax slightly but panic hit her thoughts, stupid self-doubt collided in her mind with fear and she worried that this was the closest she was ever going to be allowed near William. She needed to make this moment last and grabbed hold of his testicles squeezing them tight to force him to erupt at the back of her throat.

William's world felt like it had collapsed, he didn't remember her stopping but she had because he felt the coolness of where her mouth had been.

"You are amazing" he cooed, though he was aware that he was half naked in front of her, the time to be ashamed by that was long gone, they had just shared in something and he needed it to go further.

"Kinda embarrassed" Buffy said looking away from him as she wiped her mouth.

"Don't be, really don't be" he reassured getting of the wall and sitting by her on the ground. He reached out and moved her nearer to him so he could search for the zip on her jeans.

"William" Buffy said, she stood up from his lap so she could step out of clothes.

//This is like something out of a soft porn movie, having sex outside// she blushed to herself.

"Only if you want to and I know it is a little risky out here but" his voice trailed off as she sat back down and he could feel her skin brush against his.

"I want to but, not to ruin the moment" Her face was now burning why could she just come out with it and say have you got a fucking condom, its not like she was 14 and all embarrassed. Its just that this day had been so completely unreal every time she went to speak she felt as if she would say something wrong and mess it up.

"Look in there" William said reaching for his wallet in his jeans and handing it to her. Yes he hadn't been popular with the opposite sex for a long time but he like the boy scout he never was liked to be prepared. He tried to calm his nerves as he felt Buffy roll it on his quivering penis. This was it, he was about to have sex with someone he hardly knew yet felt like he did.

She shifted so she could impale herself onto him, as William let out a hearty groan. Buffy titled forward and for him to feel her wetness, know she was hot and damp because of him caused him to almost ejaculate prematurely as her muscles clutched around him. He regained control of the situation and instead listened attentively to her thumping heartbeat, to her low soft cries of his name every time he pushed further into her.

//My Buffy, my girl I think, the one I should've found such a long time ago, who I belong with//

His hands wrapped around her waist further, Buffy knew this was some kind of bliss most people never found.

"Are you thinking about me?" William asked forcefully kissing her deeply and reaching up towards her neck. He broke from the kiss and gripped his fingers through her hair craning her neck back, struggling to find her neckline so he could kiss her flesh there.

"Yes oh god yes" Buffy screamed closing her eyes, trying to hold her climax in as he suckled away at her skin.

//Why would I think about anyone but him? //

"What about me?" William demanded increasing his vigour inside of her and briefly breaking from his kisses. He still didn't understand why she did any of this for him.

"How much I need you" she began "How oh god your so fucking Jesus" her eyes fluttered open quickly as she stared in amazement at the face buried deep on the nape on her neck.

Words were replaced by untamed moans and William's own grunting as she grinded on him. His body tightened waiting to climax so hard within her if he left it any longer he would die.

William carefully brought his back down onto the ground, not caring about the dust and grit that dug into his back. Buffy fell onto him crying his name out as he thrusted and thrusted into her telling her how hard she makes him, screaming out how much he loved her, loved her flesh and eventually cumming deep within her. He pressed himself against receptive labia helping bring her to a pinnacle with himself, filling the condom with the warmth of the liquor of his satisfaction.

Buffy rested her head on his chest unable to move away from him straight away. She needed to relish the moment.

"I hope that was good enough for you" she mumbled as she reluctantly removed their interlocking bodies and quickly pulled her clothes back on.

"You really have no idea how much I care for you, how much this blew my mind" William praised her, he started to do his jeans up and generally sort himself out waiting for her response.

"I don't know how you feel at all" Buffy said truthfully. She saw he was gesturing for her to come closer again and he took her hands.

William held on tightly and smiled towards her, he needed her to know how he felt but found his shyness surface and cause him to stumble his words "Buffy I need to tell you something, that was wonderful, I really, I mean, I love you I do, I know your beautiful yet I've never seen you before, I know..."

A voice broke the flow of William's words, as its bitterness tainted the couple's paradise.

"Oh look who I've found, Miss Jailbird herself fucking her new boyfriend"

TBC >>>

Chapter Nine: I'm The Kinda Girl Who Leaves The Scene Of The Crime.

Frozen, unable to move, consumed with fear at the knowledge that she knew who was behind her. Buffy didn't even have to turn around, she recognised that bitter, twisted voice though she hadn't heard it in four years. Perhaps she would have been able to deal with it better if she hadn't been with William, because already it had revealed to her new love that she was a 'jailbird' and
the owner of these cruel yet truthful words wouldn't stop at that. Oh no Buffy was sure William was about to find out all about her sordid past.

Yet Buffy refused to acknowledge this person, she instead gazed helplessly at William. Only moments before they had been together, she wondered how much her new and unwelcome visitor had seen, she felt almost violated that someone had been watching her blissful and perfect exploits with him. That his words of love that he had screamed out when she had performed an act of pleasure on him that William hadn't felt in so long. That these same words she was pretty certain he was trying to say to her again as they sat hand in hand on the ground. All this had been ruined by the fact that stood behind her was a woman she had tried desperately to be friends with but had always ended up being ridiculed and derided by.

William didn't have time to acknowledge what this unseen and unfamiliar voice had said; he only knew that Buffy was distressed by whoever it was. The muscles in her hands tensed up and even though he was unable to see her eyes, he knew they would show melancholy.

"Buffy what's wrong, who is it?" He whispered softly, gently rubbing the palms of her hands.

//Why the hell is she so frightened and who the fuck is this woman, I was trying to tell Buffy I love her and I do and this isn't going well//

The female walked over closer to where the couple sat and knelt down by Buffy, speaking calmly and in an almost charming way.

"Oh aren't you gonna introduce us Buffy, come on it will be swell" The woman stated, Buffy could feel her breathing in her ear but she still refused to acknowledge her.

Maybe if Buffy hadn't known that underneath the sickly charms of her old associate laid a vicious bitch that got along in life by backstabbing those she had fooled with her fake smiles and explicit use of her femininity. Yeah if Buffy hadn't met her before than maybe she would fall for it.

//But I know who the fuck she is and I don't want it to be her, I want her to go away and leave me alone//

"My oh my you have found yourself a good one" she continued and moved over to William touching his arm.

"Get the fuck of me!" William growled, damn he didn't understand why Buffy didn't just grab him by the hand and walk away from this bitch, the way she spoke reminded him so much of Drusilla, it was a memory he cared not to recall again.

"Pardon?" She answered standing up behind Buffy and placing her hands upon her shoulders.

"Back off Darla!" Buffy yelled turning around as she stood up, she reluctantly let go of William's hands. That was it she was going to tell Darla where to go, to leave her alone. However, her heart sank, she not only saw a woman she cared to forget about, looking in a far better state than herself but she caught sight of a group of three men walking over to the scene. The confidence she
needed to get away from this situation had faded, she recognised these men, or as Angel had once called them 'Darla's muscles' as the same ones who had been around back in London. Darla had thought of herself as a bit of a gang leader and though she could hold herself in a fight she had these few thugs along for the ride. , Buffy couldn't remember their names, it didn't matter, they were strong and she knew she was in trouble.

//Fuck, she is going to kill me, she always hated me because of Angel and now, now, William, why hasn't he just run off, surely he heard Darla say I was a jailbird, he must realise I was in prison// Buffy panicked.

"Don't you treat your girl any manors, I guess it's hard to train that dog" Darla joked staring at William with a glint of malice in her eyes.

This was it for William, he may not be able to see this Darla girl but he knew he didn't like her and he fumbled to get of the ground "Who the fuck are you love because you're heading for..."

Darla gave him and then Buffy a confused look when she noticed Buffy move over to William and guide him off the ground, then it clicked and she let out a hearty laugh "Oh I should've guess this is perfect, of course only a blind man would fuck a whore like you" she spat in Buffy's face

The rage built inside Buffy's mind and body, consuming her whole, replacing the fear and the uncertainty. This whole scene was happening so quickly, even if it felt drawn out, only a minute maybe two must have pass since she was happily sat with William. It was too much. She didn't know how Darla had found her here, though she suspected if you look and try hard enough you could track anyone down. Really for now Buffy didn't even care, she just wanted Darla to stop laughing at William for being blind and with a clenched fist she swung her right arm and successfully grazed Darla's jaw line

"Buffy" William responded, he had heard the punch but wasn't sure if it was Buffy or Darla at the receiving end of it, especially as Buffy wasn't touching him any longer. Yet when she spoke, he knew she was the one who was in control, to William he heard bitterness, anger in her voice he hadn't before and it took him back slightly. He also for the first time realised that there were
other people with them, he could smell aftershave and hear them mumble something like 'Fucking bitch'

"You haven't changed one bit," Buffy snapped squaring up to Darla again.

"Hold her back" Darla ordered to her men as two of them grabbed Buffy's arm and forced them behind her back.

"Fuck you" Buffy screamed as Darla stood in front of her nursing her throbbing jaw. Buffy realised she had made it worse and was only provoking Darla and her stupid gang further.

//All this because she still loved Angel when he went with me, all this because she had feelings for someone she couldn't have, has she really tracked me down just to humiliate me in front of William, no she didn't even know about him, she will just use to him hurt me further//

"You think I would try to touch you" Darla grimaced, squeezing her face like she had smelt something vile "You smell disgusting, and look like a tramp" She stepped back from Buffy before charging her stomach with her foot and kicking hard with the pointed three inch heal of her shoe that stabbed into Buffy's skin. Watching gleefully as Buffy cried out in pain and doubled over,
only to be kept up by the men, who didn't question Darla, didn't even say a word because they were under her thumb.

"Buffy where are you?" William called out distressed, this wasn't meant to happen, he should still be telling Buffy how much he had fallen for her, they should be going back to his place, talking, kissing. But he knew now Buffy was hurt, in danger and he wasn't prepared to just stand there like a weak, foolish coward, his disability didn't stop him from being strong.

"Well like I said he is pretty hot, kinda different from your last one" Darla remarked as she walked over to William, she run her hand down his chest and rested it on the belt loops of his jeans, before turning back to Buffy who was barely keeping her eyes open "You know he was darker more my type but you know that already, does he though, William isn't it? Kinda heard Buffy scream your name out before"

Darla stared at William and slowly undid the buckle of his belt. Buffy wearily looked over to the scene, it had the desired effect on her she felt sick with jealously, as if her physical pain wasn't enough her mind was now becoming distressed.

William stood still, he tried to look relax, he wanted to take Darla off guard and despite the fact that he felt guilty at not stopping her going as far as she was he was certain he was doing the right thing. The closer she got to him, the easier it would be for him to retaliate. Her fingers unzipped the top of his jeans, guiding it down halfway before he reached out and grabbed her wrists forcing her to stop.

"Whoever you are, keep the hell away from me!" He demanded and pushed her backwards, hearing her hit the ground. He quickly did the zip back up and just as he was about to smile at his victory, he was pushed in the back and stumbled to the ground.

//Fuck this, where are nosey members of the public when you need them, where the hell is Strummer and why the fuck is this happening? //

"Will oh Will I have been through a lot worse, through hell and back because of your Buffy" Darla sneered knelling in bringing his head up from the ground. His face was now covered in bits of grit that mixed with the trickles of blood on his lips.

"William please don't listen to her" Buffy pleaded, she began to cough and was terrified when she felt drops of blood fall on lips. She was unable to form further words and didn't know what she could say any way. What Darla would reveal was probably the truth, and even if Buffy had wanted to tell William all about her past gradually so not to scare him away, she didn't have any control over this situation.

"Not planning to" William informed her, rolling on his side, he didn't care if whoever had pushed him down was planning on hurting him again, he was ready to fight and listened attentively for the sign that Darla was in punching distance again, or at least grabbing. He heard her shift near him as she breathed on his face. Again he reached out and dug his fingernails into her flesh.

"Awww that wasn't very nice was it" Darla scowled, she was obviously hiding the fact that she wanted to cry out in agony at how he gripped tightly onto her, especially as he had drawn blood. Instead she waited like she always did for her 'boys' to do her dirty work and pull William of her.

"William" Buffy said quietly, she didn't want him involved in this even if he was, she couldn't see what he was trying to do you, why was he fighting her, he couldn't even see, it wouldn't do any good. Her eyes widened when she saw William being pulled of Darla and his eyes close, he was unconscious "Bitch!"

Darla ignored the comment and went over to Buffy again, who had given up on struggling against the hold of her capturers "Back to what I was saying, oh yes William very different to your last one, the biggest difference I can think off is the fact that he isn't dead"

"I didn't kill Angel, it was an accident, and you weren't even there," Buffy pointed out. She didn't care when this comment was greeted with a strong slap across her face that stung. As long as the violence was directed towards her and not William, he would survive and she would at least have the knowledge that any pain she got she deserved.

"You don't have the right to say Angel's name, he was mine" Darla shouted stamping her foot strongly on Buffy's.

"He dumped you years ago" Buffy provoked and this is what made her so fucking angry about Darla, it wasn't like Buffy had stolen Angel from her, no he had left her because he knew how psychotic she could be at times, because she wanted to start all this gang warfare bullshit up and Angel just wanted to do a spot of shoplifting, joyriding, nothing as serious as what Darla planned.

"Doesn't mean he wasn't mine and you allowed him to die" Darla hollered, she gestured for her men to let go of Buffy and grabbed her by the throat instead.

"I've paid for what happened" Buffy retorted back, choking her words, she noticed that William was stirring again and a sense of relief washed over her that he was conscious again, even if he would hear about her past, it didn't matter, they didn't have a future now anyway, not after she allowed him to be hurt.

"Three years, three fucking years in prison, that's all, you piece of shit" Another slap around face, as Darla stopped strangling her and pushed her to the ground, straddling Buffy and punching her in the stomach, across the previous wound she had gained from the kick.

Buffy continued aggravating her, she noticed that the three men, whose names she still couldn't remember had turned their attention away from William and gathered around herself and Darla instead. "Hurt me then, hurt me again and again I loved him and he loved me and you never had what we did"

//Get out of here, please William, get away, make your escape. Angel if you really are watching over me help William out, he doesn't deserve this, you know that//

"I've been looking for you since you came out, you think that one little meeting will be enough, oh no not when I have William now, he is a special surprise I wasn't expecting" Darla informed her lifting the hem of Buffy's t-shirt up slightly, and digging her finger into the wound, making the gash deeper and causing tears to cascade down Buffy's face.

"Do what you like to me leave him alone!" Buffy instantly regretted her words by showing Darla how much she cared for William inevitably Darla would try and hurt him again and on cue she turned from Buffy and smiled at William. Buffy hadn't noticed it until now but the sun had be lost beneath forming clouds and the beginning drops of rain had began to fall on her face. The weather was so unpredictable from glorious sunshine to rain, she was trying to forget about the pain she was in by thinking of mundane things but as she closed her eyes, the throbbing on her face, her bleeding stomach and her general fatigue had overcome her, she could hardly move and drifted out of the conversation Darla had started with William and into a forming blackness.

"Was she good William, was she, I used to hear her and Angel, he was my boyfriend once" Darla sat by his side and whispered into his ear "They used to fuck and scream right under my nose, didn't care about my feelings, not very fair is it, when someone you love goes off with someone else, they leave you?"

"No it isn't" William mumbled trying to sound sympathetic, so much was racing through his mind, Buffy had been in jail, why? Who the hell was this Angel and was he the reason Buffy had been sent away? Either way for now it didn't really matter; he was lost at what he was meant to do.

"I like you Will" Darla praised ruffling his hair, "You understand me, did you know about your girl being in the big house?"

"Yes, yes I did" William responded, uncertain in his answer. Off course he didn't know she had been in prison and he was still confused over why, and whether or not this changed anything between him and Buffy he was still undecided, she hadn't so much lied rather than not tell him about an aspect of her life. He was angry at her for getting him in this mess but then anger was often a short lived emotion and he wasn't prepared to forget that he had decided he loved her and he had just been with her in an act of love not just a quick fuck.

"Don't lie to me, don't like being lied to" Darla chastised hitting him around the head like he was a child.

"It doesn't bother me, I don't' care" William muttered and this is when he started to get really angry at this Darla woman, as if it wasn't bad enough that she was hurting Buffy and himself she was acting like this just because she was dumped by someone. He felt like screaming 'at least your ex didn't leave you for dead, made you go blind'. Sure jealously could make you go mad but
he got the impression Darla was a psycho already. It spurred him into action though because once again she reminded him of Drusilla and he was determined to stop that

//Yet how the hell I am meant to be do anything, I want to get her to shut the hell up, but//

William stopped his negative thinking suddenly because even as he laid on the floor, getting wetter from the increasingly heavier rain and felt weaker from his injuries he was certain he could hear voices come nearer, he hoped these people would realise what was going on and would do something about it.

"Well it bothers me because she was responsible for the death of the man I cherished, I adored and three years is not enough, so I'm here to claim my vengeance" Darla said grinning.

"What?" William asked rolling on his back, he knew what he needed to do and that was to gain the attention from the people he thought he could hear. In order to do this he decided he would have to make his voice louder to draw them closer, but do it so Darla wouldn't notice. Then there was the issue of Buffy, she had been quiet for far too long and the fact that he couldn't see her injuries made him unsure at the state she was in.

Darla was concentrating exclusively on spurting her bullshit off to William, Buffy as far as she was concerned could be dealt with in a minute, she liked to tease and torture this man with what she planned to do "Good question, what do I plan to do, well I've been.."

William interrupted her "No, I mean what the hell are you on!" He screamed, straining his throat, his body shivering due to the rain that lashed down on him.

"Pardon" Darla said amazed that he had dared to interrupt her.

"Beating the hell out of a woman" William tried to sit himself up and went to continue his loud rant but was stopped by who he figured must have been one of those dickheads who seemed to abide by every word Darla said

"Darla" one of them grunted.

"What!" Darla snapped before looking towards where her henchman pointed, coming through the ruins of the castle where two student looking lads, who had been alerted by William's shouting.

"Friends of yours" She growled getting off the ground, this wasn't part of the plan.

"Hey, is everything okay around here love, we heard shouting" One of the guys shouted as they came nearer.

"It may be a cliché but this isn't over" Darla warned William before running off quickly with her 'mob'

"Mate, what happened" The man who approached the scene asked, he took one look at William and then at Buffy and turned to his friend "Owen phone 999 now!"

"Is she okay?" William mumbled, she still wasn't speaking; she could be in serious pain.

//I don't give a shit about her past anymore, she needs to stay alive// he mused sombrely

"I don't know" The man responded truthfully, he helped William onto his feet and over to where Buffy laid and then took his jacket off to lay over her, trying to shelter her from the rain.

"Please, I'm blind I can't see. Is she awake, is she alive? William exclaimed horrified, looking around wildly.

"Keep calm lad, it will be fine, wait till the ambulance gets here before we make any rash statements" The man advised looking to his friend who had finished his conversation on his mobile phone.

"It will be a few minutes Huw" Owen informed them, looking down at Buffy's body somewhat gravely, he was meant to be having a joint out here with his mate, celebrating the grand task of actually finishing an essay on time and here he was dealing with all this bullshit.

"See, fine" Huw reassured helping William knell by Buffy's side and placing his hand on her arm.

"Thank you" William whispered.

"Shall we chase after the lads who did this?" Owen stated

"They be long gone" Huw observed "Sorry lad, I hope your girlfriend pulls through"

William nodded, as the two Welsh blokes started talking about why the men and Darla had run away and not tried and fight them. William thought about this briefly as well, but he guessed Darla didn't want to risk being caught by the police not when she aimed to hurt Buffy further.

"It doesn't matter, just, can you see if you can find my dog, he was tied up near the war monument" William asked them and thankfully they agreed, he was worried about Strummer but he wanted time with Buffy before the ambulance and paramedics arrived.

He squeezed onto her hand as the sirens wailed nearer and he began to cry, "Buffy please wake up pet, I'm scared, your too quiet love please wake up"

TBC>>>>

Chapter Ten: To Ease My Mind Of All These True Sensations.

The journey to the hospital had felt like a long one, even though in a town this size everything was within walking distance. The ambulance had whizzed through the streets and the paramedics had allowed William to hold her hand throughout the journey as they set about helping Buffy breath properly and dealing with her injuries.

He had countless thoughts running through he mind, many focussed on the condition of Buffy but also on whether the police would find that Darla bitch and why this day had given him such an array of emotions. Anger, love, disappointment, fear, anxiety, happiness and confusion. Always confusion. Yet the one thing that continually stuck in his mind was the memory of his own accident.

Being in the ambulance, not being able to see, feeling pain, for he was hurt himself, emotions raging like they were now, that was like the night Drusilla changed his life. His memories had been sparked for a number of reason, Darla for one had reminded him of his ex lover, no doubt she had that glint in her eyes that Drusilla had. Yet it was more than just the malice of Buffy's attacker than sent painful recollections William's way, it was ultimately the treachery he felt from Buffy that made him compare her to Drusilla. Perhaps he was over reacting.

//Buffy never left me for dead, she took care off me, she got herself hurt so I wouldn't be but then she lied, the university thing didn't bother me, still doesn't, even the fact that she is unemployed I can cope with but in prison. It's a little fucking too much //

This deep conflict of whether he should just forgive Buffy completely or should end their newfound relationship stayed in William's mind as he waited nervously in the sterile corridor, alone. They wouldn't let him visit her yet, and he was waiting to for his own wounds to be seen too. The two men who had helped him had found Strummer and William had asked them to take the animal back to Rupert's shop. William knew pretty soon his friends would turn up completely worried about what the hell had happened. For now, however he felt very distant from events at the castle. He could no longer hear Buffy screams of pains, no longer was his sole concern whether she would live or not. This detachment made him increasingly unsure at his decisions over the past few days.

//I haven't even known her a week and I slept with her, and bloody outside off all places and it's not like we're even had dates before, just did it, allowed her into my heart, playing with fire, gonna get hurt, I knew I can't trust women//

William wished he had listened to what his instincts had told him, and kept away from women. He rested his hands on his face and sighed heavily, this was some kind of nightmare he was convinced, was he doomed to be fucked over not by people like Buffy but from his own emotions?

//I don't hate Buffy I still love her, I do, I wouldn't have been so upset when she left on Sunday if I didn't, I wouldn't searched for her at the university and I certainly wouldn't have done what I did in the castle. Why I am feeling like this? Why can't I just accept who she is? So she was in prison doesn't mean she isn't the same girl I fell for. Darla said she was only there for three years, couldn't been murder and as long as it wasn't that or abuse to children or animals I can deal with it right? //

"Yeah right" William he muttered unknowingly gaining a look of bewilderment from a passing patient. He knew the whole prison thing was a big deal and even though Darla was a psycho bitch queen from hell, what if she was right? What if Buffy was responsible for the death of his Angel guy?

//And what if she escaped from prison and that's why she wasn't there long? What if she's really using me just to get a job, to spend my money? William stop it! Stop thinking of Buffy like that, she isn't some killer, she isn't a bad person, she fucking loves me, I know she does for everything she lied about, she was genuine when she was crying and telling me how much she hated Drusilla for hurting me//

William's mind spun round and round, one moment he resented Buffy for getting him involved in her messed up life and then a second later he felt incredibly guilty and wanted to do nothing more than to bring her in for a strong hug.

"Mr Johnstone?" A female voice interrupted him, placing their hand on his shoulder and sitting down next to him.

"Can I see her yet? Is she okay?" William questioned impatiently.

"She's stable and conscious but you need to have your own injuries dealt with and the police want to talk to you"

"Fine, lets get this over with pet" William relented, then he could see her, then they could have an important talk.

******

Buffy struggled to keep her eyes open, and failed to focus properly on her surroundings. From the over clean smell, the bleeping machines and the fact that she could feel tubing on her body she knew it was a hospital room she resided in. An instant panic hit her, hospitals reminded her of Angel.

Her eyes flew open and her breathing accelerated, she gained her focus and glanced around like a caged wild animal. No one else was there, she wanted someone to be around.

"William!" she called out in distress tugging at her drip "William, I need to see you. Angel? Angel are you there, look after William for me, tell me where he is!"

// Neither of them will reply, I need to get out of here, what if, oh fuck what happened? //

Her memories slowly seeped through her mind and she was hit by the image of Darla trying to undo William's jeans and how he let her do it.

// But he pushed her away, he shouted 'Whoever you are, keep the hell away from me!' William didn't want Darla no, and he had refused to listen to her when she was speaking her spiteful words. No he will still love me right, he has to but//

It dawned on her quickly and with much anguish, was he even alive? The last thing she remembered was telling Darla to leave William alone, to hurt her instead of him and then regretting her words because Darla had turned her attentions back to William and then, then Buffy had fallen unconscious and...

//He has gone, she could've killed him easily, she would do that, she would take him away from me because she knew how much he meant to me, I let her know and she saw us together, saw us happy, making love and she came and ruined it and...///

"He is gone" She screamed out in pain before she began to convulse in shock and heartache "My William is dead like Angel is, William!"

Hospitals, she knew know why she hated them, why that clean smell didn't make her feel safe but feel sick. They had brought Angel to a hospital, he was almost dead, bleeding from his stomach where the shop keeper had shot him in apparent self-defensive and the police had taken too long to phone for an ambulance and as Buffy cried and wept for her boyfriend, the man she believed she would be destined to be with forever, all the fucking police Detectives had cared about was questioning her.

Then, when she had finally got to the hospital, finally in the same building at him, they wouldn't let her see Angel, nope she had to be checked over herself for the cuts she had and still the non stop questioning and he was dead the moment he was shot, never had a chance and she never got to say goodbye, dragged along to the police station, charged with several cases of shop lifting, threatening behaviour and a series of joyriding incidents.

Now it was the same, she never got a chance to see goodbye to her William, she wouldn't be able to see his body a final time because she was stuck in this bed, pumped full of drugs so she couldn't feel the physical pain she was in. Yet Buffy wanted that fucking pain, needed to punish herself because Darla had done this, Darla had killed the man she wanted to look after. But thoughts about Darla didn't focus on the need for revenge, instead Buffy was honestly terrified at what the woman would do next.

Darla hadn't killed Buffy when she could've, did that mean that she was planning on hurting those close to her? Would she go and attack people like Joyce and Dawn, what if she had done that already and Buffy didn't know because she couldn't be contacted by her family, she never read the papers for any news that could tell her if she had lost her mother and sister as well.

"I need to go, I need to see him," Buffy yelled pulling the sheets back and trying to get out of her bed. The commotion she had caused with her shouting had beckoned a male nurse to her room, who proceeded to call for assistance and rush over to Buffy's side.

"Miss Summers, calm down, what's wrong?" The nurse asked kindly, tucking the sheets back in and forcing Buffy's arms down when she tried to push away.

"William's dead isn't he, let me see his body, are my family okay, have they got Darla?" Buffy rambled weeping further, looking manically at the nurse and then the male Doctor who entered her room.

"Miss Summers I'm Doctor Chapman" He introduced himself and picked up her chart "No one has died, your friend Mr Johnstone is speaking to the police and your family, we don't have number for them, would you like to ring them yourself?"

"No, no" Buffy shook her head defiantly. She didn't want to worry her family with her problems she brought firmly on herself and all she cared about was the words of Doctor Chapman who told her William was still alive.

"This will calm you down" The doctor said as the nurse injected her with a sedative and then left the room "You suffered a lot, but we've dealt with all your injuries and you will make a full recovery. But I think you should speak to one of our advisors"

"Advisors?" Buffy said slowly, what kind of advice did she need, apart from getting rid of unwanted mental patients by the name of Darla.

"Social services, you're obviously malnourished, your clothes have seen better days," The Doctor observed writing a few things down in his notes.

"I'm, I'm homeless" She stuttered embarrassed, waiting for the usual looks of contempt people who had nice jobs and family gave her but instead Chapman simply nodded for her to carry on "but I'm okay I can look after myself, I don't need any help"

"Yes well, we speak about it later. Mr Johnstone will visit you soon. Get some rest" He suggested

Buffy didn't responded as the tranquillizer finally kicked in and she soon fell back into a sleep.

*******

"So you just so happen to met up with Miss Summers, a woman you first met last weekend, on Saturday the twelfth and what happened next?" The man who had introduced himself as Detective Sayle asked.

William had been sat talking to the Detective and his colleague Officer Turner for the last twenty minutes in the relative's waiting room. They didn't seem to want to leave him alone and with the stress of today, was making him understandingly annoyed. He also didn't like how close they were standing, he could feel a bout of claustrophobia followed by an panic attack on its way

"I told you we talked for a bit, she told me about herself and we..." He naturally hesitated; he hated repeating this bit, telling these strangers about his personal blissful moment with Buffy.

"You had intercourse Mr Johnstone, outside in the ruins of the castle" Officer Turner finished for him, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yes" William responded bowing his head almost shamefully, he placed his hands between his knees.

"With a woman you hardly know?" Sayle quizzed the same question he had asked for what felt like the twentieth time.

"So what lots of people have one-night stands, it's not like that with Buffy and me we're in love and you may not get that" William retorted "If your gonna charge me with I don't know some kind of indecent exposure, then do it but at least arrest Darla before you arrest me"

"Oh yes Darla, the girl with no surname who turned up from nowhere with a gang of men" Turner intercepted the questioning.

//I don't know which one is worse, Turner or Sayle, but it feels like a case of bad cop - bad cop//

"Yep and as I told you I don't know her surname because I never met her before, Buffy knows her" William grunted in frustration.

"And she proceeded to beat Buffy up out of some sort of revenge for the death of a man called Angel, sounds a bit ludicrous" Sayle commented.

"Well have you spoken to those guys, Owen and Huw they scared her away!" William snapped.

"They only saw the back of her, said they weren't really sure what had occurred, only that they were curious about the shouting" Turner declared

"Well I didn't see anything myself seeing as I'm bloody well blind but I heard the voices, I felt the kicking and being pushed to the floor and I listened as Buffy cried out in pain" William recalled.

// I wish they would stop hassling me, I wish people could stop crowding me, oh fuck you know that feeling I had about panic attacks its here, I know its here//

Sayle spoke briefly to his associate before his bogus allegations began "You know what I think William, I think you took a shine to Miss Summers because she paid you some attention, I think maybe you took advantage of her situation of the fact that she's homeless and that"

"She's homeless?" William repeated, another bombshell fact to try and comprehend, he was attempting to control his breathing as well, thinking whether he should ask to see a doctor so he could get some medication.

//Has she told me the fucking truth about anything? Or is everything a lie, are her compassionate words part of her plan to fuck me over! //

"Yes" He confirmed, "See this is the point I'm getting too, you don't seem to know anything about her. See I think you got too 'friendly' with her and afterwards didn't like it when she rejected you, that you had a fight and it ended like this.

"How fucking dare you!" William spat disbelievingly standing up from his seat looking around in all directions, unable to figure out where they were, head beginning to spin "How the hell could you accuse me of rape? Speak to her, go on, fucking speak to her she will tell you what happened if you don't believe me!"

"Calm down William" Officer Turner ordered pushing William back down in his chair.

"Don't get all matey with me, I should sue you for false accusations" He pointed his finger growling before resting his head in his hand and pulling at his blond locks. Just what he needed, just what he didn't want. Maybe it was some sign from whoever controls fate that he shouldn't get involved with Buffy even if he still wanted to on some level.

"No one is accusing you, just we have to follow every possible line of enquiry" Turner appeased as Sayle went outside to have a breather, he took a seat by his 'suspect' and noticed William was shaking and hyperventilating "Mr Johnstone don't get yourself in a state"

"Need...medication...panic...attack" William stuttered his words as he began gasping for air, the full extent of his attack taking over.

"Oh Christ, I'll be back in second, don't go anywhere" Turner ordered.

William struggled to keep relaxed, like what often happened during one of his attacks he lost track of time and his mind concentrated not on the present but the past. For once he had to be relieved that he wasn't thinking of the woman who was responsible for all of this, nope the haunting voice of Drusilla was nowhere to be heard. He was focussing solely on the only calm, relaxing moment of this appalling day, appalling he didn't think was strong enough to describe the shit he had been put through but he was thinking of Buffy and their time together.

He didn't want to try and reason her past, her present or today, he couldn't say 'yep everything is fine' and just carry on with her in his life without asking serious questions about who she truly was but now, this moment as Officer Turner found a doctor, as his friends Alexander and Rupert finally turned up to the hospital and found William staring blankly at the floor. These minutes he knew he still loved her but he wasn't sure that was enough.

The doctor forced two pills down him, Rupert and Alexander kept asking him questions to which William simply nodded yes or no. They supported him against the police, saying they would seek legal advice if William was questioned falsely about rape. Alexander asked who the hell this Buffy Summers was anyway, William mumbled something about needed to see her.

A blur, a big merge of conversations, of feeling slightly better, of briefly remembering the vile voice of Darla. Then thinking Buffy, he needed to see her. Somehow without him even knowing it, the police said they had spoken to her and that William was in the clear and that he could see her if he liked.

Still not really coherent William found himself being ushered to a room by Rupert and then being sat down and the next real thing he fully remembered hearing was her voice, the time was here to have that conversation

"William" she croaked, "I really thought you were dead, I'm sorry about everything"

He felt her hand touch his and he snapped back into reality "We need to talk"

TBC>>>

Chapter Eleven: I’m In Love With Something I Can’t See

She didn’t remove her hand from his, even if deep down she recognised that his need to talk wasn’t going to be all sweetness and light. Instead Buffy held on tighter, unwilling to let go of him not now, not after she was a hundred percent sure he was alive. He would be mad at her, not for just lying about being homeless, or for getting him hurt but for the police harassing him.

Buffy had heard from that stupid Detective Sayle how he was ready to listen to her when she was ready, that if she wanted to talk to a female officer about her experience it would be fine to arrange it. At first Buffy had no idea what he was speaking about until he had mentioned the word rape and she couldn’t help but laugh. As stupid and insensitive as it was she had burst out not in tears as Sayle had expected but in pure laughter that soon caused her injuries in her stomach to flare up in pain at all the straining she was doing to her stitches from her intense amusement of the situation. She had just been with the man she had followed for months and the police thought it was fucking rape.

Then, however, she had been joined by Officer Turner who had said William was having a panic attack of some sort and Buffy’s face had fallen into anguish. Whilst she had been amusing herself with the ridiculous claim that William had raped her, her love was suffering all because of her.

//Because I suggested we went to the castle, because I couldn’t keep my hands of him, because I went down on him out there when he wanted to go back to his place but I said no, I said it was safe no one about, I was fucking wrong because she was there and now, now he is giving me that look that says you got me into this mess, the police questioned me because of you, you stupid fucking whore//

So she took a deep breath and answered his remark that they needed to talk “I know we do William, I lied to you, hurt you and all I can say is sorry, I am so fucking sorry, I don’t know what else to say” her voice began to crack under the strain, she was deeply determined not to cry, this was the time to be strong not to show him her weakness.

William didn’t respond in words, no he wanted to leave the talking for a little bit longer, he needed to enjoy her company just a final time and he stood from his chair and leaned in to envelop her into a hug.

“William” She mumbled into his chest, she didn’t care if he was almost suffocating her with his embrace, she felt warm and safe in those arms, the pain seem to fade as she attempted to comprehend the notion that he had forgiven her.

///He has accepted the reality of my life, he doesn’t care about it. Jesus this means I can finally be with him probably, this means it doesn’t mater about Darla because when I leave this place I will be with William, be able to love him and protect him//

Buffy began to become wrapped up in her fantastical land, the complete shock of the events of the day and knowing William was alive and seeing him in this room, his arms still secured around her body. All of this was making her convinced that everything was fine now; it’s was her mind’s way of dealing with the trauma. If she began to think about the truth, that would William really not care about her being in prison; that she was kind of responsible for what had happened, if she allowed these home truths to filter into her mind then she really would be in anguish and pain.

William breathed in the smell of her skin as his head briefly rested on her neck, it felt as if this moment was lasting for eternity and he was loathed to let go because then, well then he would have to say all those words that came from his heart, some love but joyous feelings were being replaced quickly by ones that would stop his relationship with Buffy. He knew for now not being with her was the right thing to do. It wasn’t just the lies she had told that led him to this painful decision but things between them had happened way too fast for his brain to fully cope with.

//I woke up today only wanting to met her again, I wasn’t expecting her to like me back in that way, I just wanted to talk to her, build everything up slowly, not let it go the same way that it did with Drusilla, yet in way I made the same mistake and its about whether I love Buffy or not, no its about taking a step back and looking at the bigger messed up picture//

He finally released his admirer from his hold and moved carefully to sit back down, fidgeting in his seat. He looked around the room; of course he was unable to view their surrounding but he needed to collect his thoughts.

“I thought I lost you” He remarked softly, biting his fingernails, he didn’t allow her to respond and continued “Not being able to see where you were, what was happening, I just wanted to touch your body, check you were still alive but all I had was this Darla girl ridiculing me, sending me in despair”

“She’s always been like that, all of this is her fault, and I hope the police find and her send her to prison” Her voice rose in anger, vengeance wasn’t the right way to go about it but she would love to inflict some kind of horrible pain on Darla.

//But I never will, I’m too scared of her for one, petrified she will fight back. But there’s nothing wrong in thinking about it right? //

“Like where you were?” William commented, his voice was cold and distant, even if he wanted to stop where the conversation was heading, he just couldn’t help but ask it in a dark tone.

//The more I talk to her the angrier I get, she’s just acting like none of this is to do with her, she’s like a little kid who puts the blame on an imaginary friend or a sibling but never takes responsibility for what they have done. I love her I do but she isn’t who I thought she was, she is kinda naïve and childish and I don’t need that at the moment. Bloody hell, I feel like a right bastard, I fuck her then dump her but I still want her, still love her//

“Yeah” Buffy lowered her head shamefully. She was wondering when he would bring it up but at least now she could explain to him why she had been in jail “But what happened to me was different, I didn’t kill Angel, it was an accident even if I blamed myself for it. I, well I did shoplifting, joyriding, stuff like that but I never hurt anyone”

“Buffy” William tried to interrupt, his attempt failing as Buffy continued revealing more about her history.

“Angel, he, he was” She hesitated, she wasn’t even sure why, William knew who Angel was already “My boyfriend, my first real boyfriend and I loved him so much but your all I want, need now, he is my past”

“Listen to me pet, us today, like I said I was so scared about you, I care about you so much but your acting like it was okay to lie to me when it isn’t” William beseeched rising his voice, he placed his hand down on the bed and gripped at the sheets “I thought I was but, too much of what I thought I knew about you isn’t true”

Buffy mulled over his words for a few moments, she went to reach out to touch his hand like before but she pulled back. A wave of truth crashed down over her, he hadn’t forgiven her, she had just been a fool who couldn’t face up to what she had done. She snapped out of her fantasy and began sprawling off her true feelings.

“Oh I see, I do feel guilty William, I got all the signals messed up…you’re here, visiting me and I thought that meant you didn’t care about who I was…” Buffy declared, berating herself, trying to govern enough strength to continue, she started shouting “I’m sorry, I am fucking screwed in the head…damn it I don’t think about things, try to repress everything…sorry, sorry, sorry. It is all my fault, all of it, of course you wouldn’t want me as a girlfriend, I did fucking lie to you!”

“Hey Buffy, ssh” William whispered; now he felt guilty that he had caused her distress, her release of reality.

“Its true, from the moment I met you I lied and lied, I said I was a student, I said I had a home, I didn’t tell you I’m just a useless homeless kid, whose too ashamed to ever let her mom and sister see her again, and why should they?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, “Because I’m a fuck up”

“Because you are still an astonishing caring woman” William retorted, he didn’t think she was a bad person, he needed her to understand that. He moved his chair closer to the bed, taking a few moments to sense his surrounding, he made sure that he was facing Buffy when he said it “Everything you have done for me has been amazing, I mean that but I’m so fucked up about today and I need to tell you…”

“You never want to see me again” Buffy stated, her heart sank but she knew it, really she knew he would never

William shifted again and lowered his head down onto the bed, resting it on her stomach. He couldn’t help what he said next, because despite knowing he needed a break from her, he couldn’t just walk away from their relationship. He needed to help her.

“I want you to move in with me but as friends, nothing else” He replied quickly, he didn’t want to hesitate, give his brain enough time to tell him ‘What the hell do you think you doing?’

“What?” Buffy gave him a quizzical look, there he was, head placed perfectly and gently on her stomach, easing her pain further, she wanted to run her hands through those blonde locks of his as the information that he wanted her to move in with him registered in her mind.

“I am angry with you, something else that I need you to understand. I know it was Darla that did this to you, that hurt me as well and it wasn’t your fault she attacked us, I’m just kinda disappointed that you couldn’t tell me everything, I thought this afternoon, us” He paused, not wanting to sound like some weak-hearted fool, he looked up to her, still that darkness, still no glimpse of her face “When we kissed, I, it meant a lot to me, shit I can’t articulate my feelings”

“But you only want to be friends?” Buffy said slowly, becoming increasingly frustrated.

// Is he deliberately messing with my heart to get pay back, because one minute he says he loves me, then he is angry with them then he wants to be friends! //

“And I want you to move in with me” He repeated his offer, he was convinced that she didn’t think it was genuine and despite being pretty spare of the moment decision making he knew it was right. William knew maybe they could work things out one day and to never have her near by him again seemed like a notion he couldn’t bare to think about.

“You asked me the other day not to pity you, so don’t pity me William. I never fell in love with you just to get a free place” Buffy curtly responded, not wanting to sound like she was taking advantage of him, if she wanted to take advantage of people who deserved so much better she would go home and knock on her family’s door.

“It must be hard, living out there, how do you even cope?” He asked rhetorically “I guess you’re pretty tough, it’s not pity its common sense”

“It is?”

“You were beaten up Buffy, attacked by some lunatic who could be out there ready to hurt you again; you’re in not fit state to be sleeping rough” William ordered her, he felt like a parent disciplining a child “Its just until you get yourself sorted, find a job”

“Thank you, thank you then but won’t your friends think it’s a little weird” Buffy questioned.

//Like this conversation we’re having, totally fucking bizarre, I’m moving in with William, I’m moving in with William, fucking hell, again me, as in me going nowhere Buffy is moving in with William, Jesus”

“Probably, but then again they know I’m hardly normal” William decided. He heaved himself out of his chair “I better go, let you get some rest, all this heart to heart has probably made you tired”

Buffy watched as he slowly walked towards the door, she knew she shouldn’t ask but she needed to know, needed to set the record straight “William, not to start an argument again but”

“But what?”

“Do, do we ever have a chance together, because I still love you and you love me and I need to know?” Buffy quizzed, she had taken to closing her eyes, trying to clear her mind.

William stopped in his tracks, how the hell could he respond to that, he just couldn’t, a chance one-day maybe, but then again they still had a lot to work through. Instead he placed his hand on the handle of door and went to open it, avoiding the question altogether “I'll pop in later pet bye”

“Bye” she answered opening her eyes and staring at the ceiling, holding the tears back.

//I guess that’s a no then//




TBC>>>>>