*A/N: First, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who put in their input...I can't make any promises except that this will ave Spuffiness...Also a warning the the dating of others will be present in the future, but you'll have to read on to find out what's the what....
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Chapter One: Freak Out

Her hand shook as she picked up the plastic stick that was determining her future. Once the results were clear, she wrapped the plastic applicator in tissue and threw it in the trash. Making her way into her room, Buffy stopped before the full-length mirror and put a hand over her slightly swollen belly. It wasn’t big, yet, but she had gained some weight.

Tears fled from her eyes, crawling slowly down her cheeks, when a knock on the door caused her to wipe them away quickly. “Come in.” She called to the guest.

“Buffy, Mom said you have to be at work in an hour and to-where you crying?” Dawn asked worriedly.

“No!” Buffy denied vehemently.

“Yes you were. You’re crying because Spike hasn’t called in, like, a month.” Dawn pointed an accusing finger at the bleach blonde’s picture that sat on Buffy’s nightstand.

“He’s only been gone three months, and he sent me letter last week. He’s a little busy with finals, but he’ll be back in two months.” Buffy defended her boyfriend, repeating the words he’d written in the letter.

“Open your eyes, Buffy. Finals usually mean hot blondes that aren’t you.” Dawn said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Spike would never do that to me.” Buffy sat, sitting on her bed, dazed.

“I hope not.” Dawn turned on her heal and stormed off, leaving Buffy to look for her Expresso Pump tee, and get ready for work.

*

“Maybe it’s time you forget Betty and have a little fun, mate.” Doyle elbowed Spike gently in the ribs as they made their way down the halls of the school.

“It’s Buffy, you git, and she’s the only reason why I’m here. I have to do better, graduate with honors, make her proud.” Spike ensured himself.

“If you got any higher on that honors list, your head will explode. Why don’t you come out with me and they guys tonight, Drogyn, Hamilton, Trick, and a certain girl by the name of Gwen?” Doyle’s eyebrows rose suggestively.

“As much as I like you and Drogyn, and Gwen is a hot little thing, Hamilton and Trick are whelps. They’ll only get me into trouble.” Spike insisted.

“Darla might be there…” Doyle teased.

Darla had been a crush of Spike’s when he lived in England. Her high and mighty attitude caused him to fall deeper for her, although she’d never given him the time of day. She’d known him when he was a loser, and he was suddenly getting the chance to show her what he’d become.

“Maybe I’ll come out for a little while.” He decided, Buffy disappearing from his thoughts.

*

Spike’s social ladder rose with his move to England, while Buffy spent her days at school, some nights working, and other’s just sleeping. Her grades were fine, but her mother was able to see her withdrawal from her social life.

Now, Buffy had another thing to worry about. It was Friday afternoon and after a long day of school, Buffy sat with her legs under her on her bed, as she dialed Spike’s number in England.

After four or five rings of the cell phone, Spike finally picked up, the noise in the pub a little too loud. He saw that it was Buffy and stepped outside before speaking. “Hello, luv, I miss you so.” He said sweetly.

“Oh, Spike,” Buffy cried at the sound of his voice, “I miss you too…I have to talk to you about something important.”

“Is everything okay, Buffy?” He questioned, worriedly.

“It’s kind of a thing, and-“

“Spike, Darling, are you coming?” Darla’s seductive voice came through to Buffy’s ear on her side of the phone.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” He called back, unaware of Buffy’s emotional state.

“Who the fuck was that?” Buffy asked angrily.

“Just a friend, pet. We’re going to the cinema to catch the new Harry Potter.” He replied nonchalantly.

“You’re on a date?” Buffy questioned, her eyes filling with tears.

“No, luv, a bunch of us are just out having a good time, like you should be doing.” He assured her.

“If you want to date, Spike, you can. As you said, you don’t want to hold me back, so you know what? I’m not going to hold you back.” Buffy bitterly hung up the phone with a slam, buried her face in her pillow.

Spike stood there shocked for a moment, and then dialed her number. The phone was picked up and slammed down numerous times, and Spike decided to try again later.

*

Xander slowly made his way up the stairs of the Summers’ residence and stopped at Buffy’s door, knocking softly. “What’s going on, Buffy? You didn’t show up at the Bronze last night, and Willow, Anya, and I were waiting for an hour.” Xander said through the door, when he got no response.

“Please just go away.” She sniffled.

“I can’t do that. I’m coming in, even if I risk the chance of seeing you naked.” With that reply Xander opened the door, to see a red-eyed Buffy sitting in her bed, hugging her knees. She ore her Yummy Sushi pajamas and tissues were scattered around the floor. “What’s wrong?” He rushed to her side, and threw himself on the bed next to her.

“I-I can’t t-talk about it, or I-I’ll just end up c-crying again.” She replied through sniffles.

“Well, you have a shoulder right here, so spill.” Xander prodded.

Buffy breathed in deep. “I called Spike yesterday and he was w-with another girl!” Buffy wailed. “She was all like, ‘Are you coming,’ all seductive and stuff.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned.

“Positive…and that’s not the worst part…” Buffy began. “I’m pregnant.” Although she wanted to cry out, she said the words in a whisper.

“YOU’RE WHAT???????” Xander just freaked.
 

Chapter Two: Miss Him

The following day, Xander awoke with Buffy lying in his arms. She mustn’t have slept in days, because when he reached to answer the phone, she didn’t stir.

“Hello?” He questioned into the pink plastic receiver.

“What are you doing there, whelp? Where’s Buffy?” Spike questioned with annoyance. It was the afternoon in England, and around 10AM in Sunnydale.

“She’s still asleep. I stayed over and kept her company while she bawled her eyes out over you and the situation you’ve put her in.” Xander said angrily.

“What situation? What the bloody hell are you talking about?” Spike suddenly felt lost, the entire feel in his body drifting away at the thought of hurting his true love.

“Let Buffy tell you when she’s ready, but I suggest you wait a little while, like, never!” With that Xander slammed down the phone, awaking Buffy in an instant.

“I’m late!” Buffy shouted right when she opened her eyes.

“For what?” Xander questioned.

“School!” She shouted, getting up and rushing to her dresser to look for something to where.

“Buffy, it’s Sunday.” He laid his head back down on the pillow and let out a long sigh.

“Really?” Buffy questioned, and Xander nodded. “Okay.” She slowly went back into bed, snuggling beside her best friend. “What would I do without you?” She looked up at him, with her big green eyes and sleep-tousled hair.

“I don’t know, but I support you one-hundred percent in whatever you decide. I’m not going to judge you, or make accusations. I’m just going to tell you that I love you, and you should talk to your mother.” Xander spoke with care, but Buffy’s eyes went wide.

“My mother!” She sat up straight in bed. “I can’t do that…this will ruin her.” Tears filled her eyes.

“She loves you, Buffy.” Xander ensured her, the conversation with Spike heading to the back of her mind.

*

Joyce sat on the couch in silence when she heard her daughter’s words her facial features unreadable. “Are you sure?” Questioning came to her face, and tears filled her eyes. Buffy only nodded, looking down at her hands as they rested in her lap. “Well, Buffy…I’m not going to yell out you…I want to, but these things happen.” She was actually at a loss for words. “I-I thought you took proper precautions.”

“I did…except after that fight…it just happened.” Buffy said, finally obtaining the courage that she needed to look at her mother’s hurt expression.

“How?” Joyce questioned.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Do I really need to explain that?” Her cheeks turned red from embarrassment.

“You’re responsible enough to have sex, so you better be able to talk about it.” Joyce said.

“He came here the Saturday before he left…and we…” Buffy attempted to explain.

“In this house?” Joyce’s eyes went wide as her daughter’s often did. Buffy nodded shamefully. “I’m very disappointed in you…you should know better, Buffy. That is beyond disrespectful. Go to you room while I digest this…then we’ll decide what to do.” Joyce pointed toward the stairs.

As Buffy rushed up the stairs, near tears, Dawn came down. “Buffy’s in trouble?” The youngest Summers asked with a wide smile, only to receive a glare from her mother. “What?”

*

“I don’t understand what I did wrong?” Spike cried before Darla, his face in is hand.

The blonde sat beside him on the couch in her living room and smiled, as she reached over to touch his hair. “You did nothing wrong. It’s her…she doesn’t appreciate you the way I could.”

Spike pushed her away roughly. “You or anybody else can ever replace the love I have for Buffy. It was a mistake to become your friend. You did it on purpose, didn’t you? The way you spoke so she’d hear you.”

“What can I say…I always get what I want, and right now I want you.” Darla stood and sensuously made her way toward Spike, pressing her body to his.

He pushed her away, and went for the door. “Sod off you fucking bint.” It was clear that Spike would never be able to look at another woman the way he did Buffy, and he was not about to let Darla try to take her place. He was going to work hard, and go back to Sunnydale to win back the woman he loves.

*

“P-pregnant? A-are you sure?” Willow asked with a shocked expression on her face, as she sat in Buffy’s room, Xander and Anya along with her.

“Yeah…” Buffy was tired of crying, as she sat on her bed, looking at each friend. “I was stupid…I am big stupid Buffy.”

“People make mistakes, Buff. It takes two.” Xander said.

“But for some reason it doesn’t feel like a mistake, because this baby growing inside of me was made out of love. Nothing can ever change my feelings for Spike, and right now…I just have to find out if what I heard was really what he meant.” Buffy said.

“Anya is a very nice name.” The recently shorthaired Brunette smiled brightly, and earned a gentle jab in the ribs. “Hey!” She whined, shooting daggers at Xander through her eyes.

Buffy just smiled. “We’ll see.”

“You can do it Buffy. I’ll be here for you.” Willow encouraged her.

“We’ll be here for you.” Xander corrected.

“If Spike is really cheating on you with a skanky girl who is giving him many orgasms, we will be here to give orgasms as well...” Anya considered her comment for a second. “That came out way more lesbian than I intended it to.”

“She means that if Spike is being an asshole, we’ll become surrogate parents.” Willow corrected.

Buffy doubted that Spike would mind a bundle of joy, but smiled at her friends with such hope, and trust. She was not alone, but she still missed him.
 

Chapter Three: This Woman’s Work

When he asked his old man for a ticket back to the states, he was told in the posh accent of the mother land he was growing to hate, “Absolutely not!”

Spike knew it was time to take things into his own hands. He made his way down the strip by the harbor, and stopped and Merle’s Fish and Chips. Merle was a short skinny man, with green hair slicked back.

“How are you doing, Merle?”

“Spike? Is that you? I haven’t seen you since you were thirteen.” Merle was a city slicker from New York, who got into some problems in the states and fled to the mother country.

“It’s definitely been a while, mate.” Spike agreed.

“You’ve gotten bigger, more manly than the dork you used to be.” Merle said with a laugh.

“I see you’ve been staying out of trouble.” Spike put his arms up, noticing the condition of the restaurant.

“Yeah…it’s been a hit for a while now. I owe it all to your dad. What brought you here, anyway? You hated fish and was ecstatic to get out of England.” Merle wiped the counter and gave a customer a small smile.

“My mum passed a few months ago and Dad dragged me back out here.” Spike informed him.

“Sorry to here about that. Jenny was a wonderful woman.” Merle nodded his head with seriousness.

“Yeah…well, I actually came because I’m desperate for a favor.” Spike said.

“And what might that be? My funds are kinda tight at the moment.” Merle let him know.

“Well it is about money, but I’m willing to work for it.” Spike replied.

“Well…we the pay is shit, but let me introduce you to some of the workers. You can start tomorrow.” Merle put an arm around Spike’s shoulders and led him behind the counter.

*

Buffy inhaled deeply as she walked up the steps of Sunnydale High, in capri-overalls and black wife beater. She was yet to have the talk with her mother, but she was in for it today, especially since she had a doctor’s appointment after school.

She expected people to know, already…to look at her funny, but nothing unusual happened when she reached her locker. But then, Willow, Xander, Oz, and Anya all formed a circle around her.

“Hey Buffy!” Willow said with cheer.

“What are you guys doing here?” Buffy questioned with a smile.

“We decided to walk with you to English.” Xander said.

“You never walked me before.” Buffy informed.

“Well, we’re here to take care of you in this time of need, and impregnation.” Anya said, a bit too loud for Buffy’s liking.

“There’s no need guys, really.” Buffy assured them, as they all began walking together.

“Donut?” Oz held a Krispy Crème bag out to Buffy with what looked like a donut.

“Thanks.” Buffy took it with much hunger. Her eating habits were already rapidly changing and she was no more than three months.

“Hey! I didn’t get a donut!” Xander complained.

“You’re not pregnant, although sometimes I wonder.” Oz said, raising his brow quizzically.

“You guys think we could keep down the P-word.” Buffy requested.

“Sorry…are we doing to much, because you can tell us.” Willow offered.

“You’re doing fine, but when the mood swings start, I seriously suggest running for cover.” With those words, Buffy spotted Drusilla walking near, and attempted to lose eye contact.

“I see something extra in that crowd…could there be the stab, stab, stab in the belly.” She hissed.

Buffy just ignored her, while the others gaped. “How could she know?” They wondered.

Suddenly, being pregnant was the last thing on Buffy’s mind, and hiding it was more up her ally.

*

Buffy stood in the student parking lot, waiting for her mother. The sun was beating down on her and she was exhausted. She was about to walk home, when Angel pulled up beside her in his red and black Camaro.

“Need a ride?” He questioned innocently.

“No, I’m walking.” Buffy replied.

“You don’t look too well…are you sure you want to walk?” He asked.

“Where’s the creature of the night?” Buffy countered.

“We…broke up…I don’t know what happened, and to be honest, I don’t care.” He was ready to go into an explanation, when Buffy’s cell phone went off.

“Where are you?” Buffy questioned when she saw it was her mother. “The bus? Sure I can…thanks. Yeah, we’ll talk after I get home.” Her mother was caught up at the gallery and Buffy sighed at the thought of taking the bus downtown alone.

“I’m feeling quite generous.” Angel let her know.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the brooding brunette. “Fine, but if you tell anyone where we’re going, I’ll kill you.” With that she made her way to the passengers side and got in.
 

Chapter Four: Focus

“Mrs. Summers, I presume?” A taller older doctor came into the waiting room to greet Buffy, as Angel sat beside her.

She didn’t explain what was going on, but Angel stood when she did and shook the doctor’s hand. “That’s me. My mother couldn’t make it.” Buffy said.

“My name is Ben. I’m assuming this is Mr. Summers. You must be proud to be welcoming a child into this world with such a beautiful lady.” A young male doctor stepped beside the older one, addressing Angel and smiling brightly at Buffy.

“Oh, He’s…not-“

Angel gave her a quizzical look and stopped her from denying the lie. “I’m not just proud, I’m ecstatic. I’m hoping it’ll be equally beautiful.” Angel smiled at Buffy slightly, and Ben signaled for them to follow him.

“What are you doing?” Buffy hissed in a whisper.

“Why didn’t you tell me Spike knocked you up?” Angel questioned.

“It’s none of your business who knock what up, and what kind of term is that?” She said touchily.

“Sorry…but, God, Buffy, we used to be so close, and now you’re…” His voice drifted as he noticed the small bump the overalls had been hiding.

“Used to before you cheated on me…and left me.” She nodded her head. She had to admit, though, she was happy he was there with her. She felt comfortable. “I’ll tell you one thing, as much as I know I’ll never love anyone the way I love Spike, and I wish he could be here, I’m happy that you are.”

He smiled at her warmly.

*

Buffy was bursting with excitement when she heard the speedy heartbeat of her child for the first time. Her child…her and Spike’s. ‘Then why is Angel sitting here, holding my hand?’ She cast a glance at the broad shouldered man, and he smiled brightly, his eyes gleaming with fatherly pride. For a second, she allowed herself to believe that he was the father, by her side supporting her. When realization set in, she felt the sting of tears approaching.

“It’s too early to see much, but that’s the head...” Ben pointed out what he could see on the screen.

“It’s cute.” Angel spoke.

“Yeah…” Buffy’s voice was a whisper. She was propped on her elbowed watching the screen with pride.

“I’ll be right back to take some pictures for you two to take home. Why don’t you take a minute to yourselves.” Ben said, standing from his seat and heading out the door.

The room was silent.

Angel was the first to break it. “I can’t help but wonder, what if I had done things different? Would it be mine?” He looked into Buffy’s eyes for an answer, and she looked away to see the screen.

“Maybe, or maybe we would have been too smart to let this happen.” He gave her a look. “I’m just saying Spike and I did this because we were overwhelmed with passion, and not thinking. If I had been more conscious, I would have taking the proper precautions. Now, I just spend every night in bed, crying. My mother won’t speak to me and my sister looks at me like I’m some sorta freak. My friends are being over protective, and Spike’s not even here.” She was nearing hysteria and Angel soothed her by rubbing her back.

“I’m here, and I will be here as long as you let me.” He offered.

“I’d like that.”

*

Buffy got home, to find her mother sitting at the dining room table with Dawn. “What’s up?” She questioned, sitting beside her sister.

“Hi, Honey. How did it go?” Joyce asked, nervously.

Buffy reached into her black messenger bag, and pulled out the pictures. She was able to coax Ben into making copies for everyone. She handed one to Dawn and Joyce. “That’s it.”

Dawn looked at the picture, her eyebrows knitted together. “It looks kinda weird.”

“That’s because it’s not fully developed yet. With every appointment, we’ll see the changes.” Buffy informed.

“With every appointment? Does this mean you’ve made a decision?” Joyce questioned, watching the picture with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, Mom. As much as I know you think I’m ruining my future, I’m going to keep it. Although I have no clue what’s going to happen between Spike and I, this baby was made with love, so I kinda feel like I have to take care of it.” Buffy explained.

Joyce stood suddenly from the table, and rushed to her daughter. She wrapped her arms around her, and squeezed tightly while crying. “Buffy, Sweetie, I won’t think any less of you, and I’ll be here for you as much as possible.”

“Me too.” Dawn joined in for a group hug, her tears coming down.

“I an emotional wreck as it is…you guys are too good to me.” Buffy said, and her family took seats closer to her.

“What are you going to do about Spike?” Dawn suddenly asked, and Joyce seemed to be thinking the same.

“I can’t tell him on the phone. I think it’s best if I wait for him to come back. I can’t have him lose his focus.” Buffy said.
 

Chapter Five: Something Like That

He took a chance, and dialed the number, afraid of what would happen. She picked up to his surprise, with a drowsy hello.

“Buffy, it’s me.” Angel spoke unsurely.

“Oh…hi.” She sounded a bit disappointed. She was a bit tired from her day of work and the beauty salon. She had her hair cut an inch above her shoulder and highlight with more blonde.

“Still waiting for Spike to call?” He asked curiously.

“Something like that.” She replied with a bit of pain in her voice.

“If he really loves you, he’ll call.” Angel replied with haste.

“I forgot to say thank you…for today. I really needed some support, and you’re the first non-overbearing person I’ve spent the day with in these last few months.” She said with a small smile.

“Buffy, you know I’ll always be there to take care of you. I love you, I always will, and nothing’s going to change that.” His words caused her smile to fade.

“Angel, as much as I appreciate it, I hope you know that things will never be the same between us…you’ll always hold a special place in my heart, but as far as what we used to be, I can never feel like that toward you again. I love Spike, first, and you hurt me too much, second.” She said, attempting not to sound harsh.

No matte how sweet she was about it, it still hurt. “I understand, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to be here to help you out. If you need anything, know that you can come to me.”

*

She sat at her window, looking out at the surrounding houses, and she couldn’t help but wish, he’d climb up the tree and just be there. The ring of the phone snapped her out of a daze. It was near four in the morning there, so she figured it couldn’t be him. She figured it may have been Willow or Xander.

She picked up the phone and whispered a small, “Hello?”

“Don’t hang up, pet!” The British voice on the other end ordered, and Buffy felt her breath hitch.

“Spike, it’s late there. What are you doing?” She questioned gently, in an attempt to keep her emotions in check.

“Calling my one and only.” He replied. Before she could come out with a smart remark, he figured he owed her an explanation. “Darla is nothing to me. She used to be but that was when I was nothing. You made me something, Buffy. I have not been with or thought about anyone but you for these last few months. Don’t shut me out, pet, because if you do, you might as well bloody kill me.” His tone was tortured and stress.

“I won’t, Spike, but I really hope you don’t think that things are going to be the same when you get back. As far as our relationship goes…this time apart is too much, and my life is changing.” She explained, rubbing her belly with her hand.

“Is there someone else?” He was hurt, but attempted to mask the pain.

“Something like that…” She mumbled.

“Who?” His voice squeaked, as he reached one hand up and into his hair, tugging gently.

“Let’s not discuss it.” She answered.

He pushed it all down, all the hurt and anger he’d been feeling, and began working on a normal conversation. “How have you been, luv?”

*

Spike sat on the edge of his bed, the sun had come up and he was running late to school. His conversation with Buffy had been two hours. He hadn’t even slept, seeing how after he came home from work, he called her. The smell of fish stained his body.

He stepped under the spray of the water, and allowed his tears to fall. The thought of another man touching Buffy the way that he did, kissing her, making love to her…it was driving him made.

‘She wouldn’t…you don’t just fall in love with a bloke and break it off because he moves. Something’s going on with her.’ He had to find the explanation to why things were going awry.

A knock on the door caused him to snap out of his temporary breakdown. “Yeah?” He questioned.

“William, are you aware that you’re running late?” Giles asked through the door.

“Yeah, Dad, I’ll be right out.” The blonde called, and prepared himself for another day of no sleep and all work. ‘Love’s bitch, that’s me.’

*

“Buffy! Are you ready for school?” Joyce called from downstairs.

The petite blonde exited her bathroom after scrubbing her mouth clean. Morning sickness was a bitch, but the book gave her hope that it would be over soon.

“I’ll be down in a few!” She called, and went to her dresser to find a pair of shorts. She pulled them up and made an attempt to pull them around her belly. It would be impossible, she discovered, and went to her closet with a pout.

Her bedroom door opened suddenly, and Joyce poked her head in. “Honey, what’s taking you so long?” She asked.

With a pout, Buffy replied, “My clothes don’t fit anymore.”

“The miracles of child bearing. We’ll go shopping for maternity clothes tomorrow.” Joyce reached into her daughter’s closet and pulled out a pale pink linen and lace knee-length spaghetti strap dress. “This is great for today, and it’ll bring out your highlights.”

With a sigh, Buffy pulled up the dress and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She slipped on a pair of plain white flip flops, and brushed through her short hair. One thing was certain, shorter hair was a time saver.

“See, you look lovely.” Joyce put her hands on Buffy’s shoulders and looked at her reflection alongside her own.

Dawn suddenly came waltzing into the room. “Is she ready yet?” The teen asked impatiently.

“Yeah, I’m ready. What’s the rush?” Buffy asked with a sudden mood shift.

“Not wanting to be late because of you…again.” Dawn said, crossing her arms on her chest and taking a stance of defiance.

“It’s not my fault. I can’t fit into a lot of my clothes.” Buffy said with anger.

“It’s not my fault you’re getting fat.” With that Dawn whirled around and made her way out of the room.

Buffy looked at her mother with wide, and teary eyes. “Am I really getting THAT fat?”
 

Chapter Six: Pain

Prom was a week away, and Buffy stood in Clara’s Boutique with Willow and Angel, looking for a dress. They’d just discovered that Buffy was expecting a boy at her doctor’s appointment. Angel had become another trusted friend, but she still refused to be more. As graduation approached, her tummy got bigger. Everyone in Sunnydale was aware of Buffy’s current state, and although there was some talk, everyone was pretty supportive.

“How about this one?” Willow asked, holding up a green dress that came to the knee and revealed much cleavage.

“We’re looking for something that screams mother to be, not street hooker.” Buffy stated, rolling her eyes.

‘Mood swings.’ Willow mouthed to Angel and he smiled.

“What about this one?” The brunette pulled an off white sleeveless gown off the rack, which was embroidered with rhinestones beneath the chest area.

Buffy gasped with approval. “Oh wow…I think I’m in love.”

“I always figured you’d-“

She cut Angel off. “With the dress, asshole!” She snatched it from his hand and went in front of a full-length mirror, to see what it would look like. She was already five months along and her breasts were perking enough for a fair amount of cleavage, plus the way the chiffon spread apart in the front, her belly would dazzle. “You don’t think it screams Virgin Mary?” She questioned the duo beside her.

“Nope, I think it’s perfect.” Angel replied.

“Yeah, Buffy, you’ll look beautiful.” Willow answered.

With a wide smile, the expecting blonde made her way into the dressing room to try it on.

*

Buffy stood before the three-wall mirror, a smile on her face as she looked at her reflection. Angel stood beside her while Willow struggled with a tight red number in the dressing room.

“You look beautiful.” Angel said.

“Thanks.” Spike should have been at her side at that moment. “I don’t look fat, do I?” She questioned.

“Not at all…you’re glowing.” His eyes were filled with affection, and care that she couldn’t return. “Buffy…come with me to prom.”

“I don’t know,” she replied. She hoped that Spike would be back in time to join her for the prom, but with everything that had been going on, she doubted it would happen. Even if he came home on time to go, he’d be too upset about the baby to notice.

“I don’t intend on knocking you up.” He attempted a joke, and caused Buffy to give him a small smile.

With a sigh she thought about it. She was still suffering from hurt after her conversation with Spike. She made him believe she was seeing someone else, when the truth was, she was dedicated to her pregnancy. She just didn’t want Spike to come back to be burdened with the responsibility of a child. He was going to have a baby boy.

“As friends?” She questioned.

“And nothing more.” He replied.

“Okay.” She agreed.

*

“Why are you being so nice to that asshole?” Dawn asked after Angel dropped Buffy off at her house.

Buffy stood in the center of the room admiring her dress. “Not everything is about grudges, Dawn. At one point you liked that asshole, so don’t give me shit because I became his friend.”

“You’re using him!” Dawn argued. She was angry with her sister for dismissing her relationship with Spike.

“What do you know?” Buffy questioned, her side paining suddenly.

“You’re his friend because Spike isn’t here! You want to replace that void and Angel is just a perfect. All because he’s already in love with you, so no need finding anyone new! I bet he’d try to take on the role of Daddy.” Dawn went on, her voice shrill, and her rage vivid.

When the words were spoken Buffy buckled with pain, a wide-eyed Dawn standing above her.

“That’s not funny Buffy, get up.” Dawn said in a scared voice.

“I’m not joking. I think I’m going into labor. Call the doctor, and call mom.” Buffy ordered as a pang hit her again.

“You’re only five months!” Dawn exclaimed, running for the phone.

“I don’t know just hurry.” Buffy began crying, wishing that Spike was by her side.

Chapter Seven: Truths and Change

Joyce rushed through the double doors of the ER at Sunnydale Memorial, and made her way to the nurses’ station. At the vast white desk, sat a curly haired blonde that smiled widely at the eldest Summers woman. “Buffy Summers, I’m looking for Buffy Summers.”

“Are you her mother?” The girl said standing with Buffy’s chart in her hand, as Joyce nodded. “I’m Glory. Your daughter was asking for you not too long ago, but she’s asleep now. Her sisters sitting with her.” Glory led Joyce down the hall to a corner room.

“Is she okay? Is the baby okay?” Joyce asked nervously.

Glory stepped in with the mother behind her. “Everything is fine. Buffy just stressed herself out and put the baby in a bit of distress, but the doctor went over things she can do to prevent it from happening again. If it weren’t for Dawnie here, the baby would have been a bit premature. At this rate, you’re looking at a September baby.” Glory said with a smile, and left the family to speak.

Buffy slept soundly in the bed, Dawn at her bedside.

Dawn looked up at her mother with teary eyes. “I didn’t mean to…she just made me so mad.”

“What are you talking about, Dawn, Honey?” Joyce kneeled before her baby, and took her hands in her own.

It’s my fault that Buffy almost lost the baby. I started an argument.” Dawn began crying. She looked over at her older sister’s sleeping form.

“What could you have possibly done?” Joyce asked, reaching up to wipe the tears of Dawn’s cheeks.

“She was out with Angel…and it just made me so mad. She’s not even thinking about Spike, and even though I don’t talk to him, and I was mad because he left, I can feel it…he’s hurting. And her immaturity of keeping the baby a secret is just going to make things worse. How could you love someone and hide things from him? It just makes no sense.” Dawn spoke, her heart going out to the bleach blonde overseas.

*

Spike dialed the number to the Summers’ residence, as he sat on a stool in the kitchen of Merle’s on a rickety old stool.

“Hello?” A shaky voice questioned. It was nearing seven in the morning and Dawn hadn’t slept a bit. She was too busy waiting for noon, and Buffy’s arrival home.

“Nibblet, you okay?” He asked.

“Just a little tired, and yourself?” She attempted to keep the conversation nonchalant.

“Okay…getting ready to come home. Is Buffy home?” He asked.

“She’s in the hospital…just a little observation because she was having stomach pain.” Dawn attempted to hide the truth.

“Is she going to be okay?” He was nervous. Buffy was the strongest woman he knew.

“She’ll be back later today. I’ll tell her you called.” Dawn replied.

“Make sure…you…you tell her I love her.” He hesitated to leave the message, but he wanted her to know always.

“I will.”

*

Buffy awoke in hysterics, crying out for the only man she could ever love. “Spike! Spike, where are you?”

Glory rushed into the teenager’s room, and attempted to comfort her. “It’s okay, Buffy. It’s okay. Your mother will be here to get you soon, and I’m sure Spike will too.”

“No he won’t!” Buffy cried. “He left me. He left me to go to England and he’s never coming back.” She sobbed hard, and her stomach pained, once more. Her biggest fear was revealed, the reason she was pushing her beloved away. She was afraid she was going to lose him, anyway.

“Buffy, you have to calm down. If you want your baby to be healthy, you have to keep your stress level down.” Glory attempted to speak throw the commotion.

Joyce ran into Buffy’s room at the sound of her crying. “What’s going on here?” She questioned at the sight of her daughter in distress and the nurse’s failed attempt at comfort.

“She woke up crying for someone named Spike.” Glory explained.

“Oh my, the baby’s father. He’s away right now. Buffy don’t worry. Spike will be back. He loves you.” Joyce assured the blonde. She wrapped her arms around Buffy and rocked her back and forth. She whispered words of comfort until Buffy quieted completely.

“I have to tell him.” Buffy said. “He has to know.”

“You can tell him when he gets back. Rupert and I agreed on it.” Joyce said.

“You spoke to Giles?” Buffy questioned worriedly, pulling back from her mother.

*

Giles sat in the dark apartment, a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his hand. He smiled when he heard the front door open. His son was going to be a father.

“Dad? Are you in here?” Spike called through the empty apartment.

“Right here, Son.” His voice slurred. He couldn’t help but remember how young and inexperienced he was when he lost his wife, and had Spike. He didn’t want the same for his son.

Spike made his way over to the light switch and flipped it on in time to see his father sitting on the living room floor, his back against the couch. “Are you okay, old man?”

“Great…just great. Come have a drink with me Willy. There are times to celebrate.” Giles said.

“And what time might that be, Mate?” Spike took a seat beside his father, and smelled seven different liquors on him. “You’re wrecked.”

“Your future,” was Giles’ reply.

“Let’s drink to that.” Spike took the bottle and took a swig. “I’m going back to Sunnydale in three weeks, and not only will I win back my girl, but I’ll be on my way to UC Sunnydale.”

“You dream the dream of dreamers. Silly boy, things are about to change for you.” Giles said, and Spike’s just gave his father a quizzical look.

“Change?” Spike questioned, a knot in his stomach. He handed the bottle back to his old man, and stood. “What are you talking about? Have you spoken to Buffy? Is she okay?” He made his way to the phone, but Giles stopped him.

“You silly little boy, this can not be fixed with a phone call. You will be back in Sunnydale in three weeks when the semester is over, and I will pay your ticket. There is a lot to look ahead for. You’re going to learn to be a man.” Giles spoke coldly, the disappointment threaded in his voice.

“What have I done?” Spike questioned.

“You’ve ruined your life by falling in love with that girl!” Giles yelled.

Spike felt his anger get the best of him, as he pushed his father to the ground. “Don’t ever speak of Buffy in such a way. She is the love of my life and if you cannot accept that, than I won’t stay here anymore.”

When Giles said nothing, Spike walked out, slamming the door behind him.

“Dear Lord, what have I done?” Giles looked to his savior for an answer.
 

Chapter Eight: Vows

Buffy stood before the full-length mirror, a hand on her belly as she studied how the dress complimented her pregnancy. She could imagine Spike at her side in a white tuxedo. A smile approached her features and she closed her eyes, his voice in her head.

“You look beautiful,” She spun around, her eyes wide as the deep voice spoke. She was startled from her imagination, and saw Angel standing before her.

“You’re early,” she looked over the tux he was wearing to see that it was what she had envisioned Spike wearing.

“Yeah, well, Anya wants us at her house in twenty minutes to take some pictures, and you know how Anya gets when things don’t go her way.” He slowly moved forward, taking her into his arms, and she reluctantly returned to embraced. “Still no word from Giles?” He asked, taking a step back.

Buffy shook her head no with sadness. “Spike handed in everything he needed to graduate and disappeared. She couldn’t help but blame herself. If she hadn’t been so dramatic and told him about the baby in the first place, then they would have been together at that moment. She would have been going to prom with him, but she blamed her emotional outbreak on hormones.

“Think he’ll come back?” Angel knew that even if Spike didn’t come back, there was no chance for them. He was her replacement for Spike’s friendship.

“I don’t know…I hope so, but…I’m afraid of what will happen when he finds out about…” She rubbed her stomach affectionately.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Angel asked.

Buffy glanced at the clock on her nightstand in an attempt to avoid the question. “Look at the time…we better get go-“

“Don’t avoid the question.” He interrupted.

With a sigh, Buffy sat on the edge of her bed, and Angel sat beside her, listening intently. “After Jenny died, he shut down. He became so attached to me, that the only time he seemed alive was when he was with me…” She looked dazed when she spoke of him, and tears brimmed her eyes. “He left to get better…and this would have gotten in the way.” She didn’t want to hold him back from having a future.

Angel rested a comforting hand on her back, attempting to soothe her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and allowed her tears to fall silently. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he leaves me.”

“Well, you still have me.” Angel said.

*

Spike sat on an unsteady branch, watching the scene before him with seething hatred. He had climbed up just in time, to watch Buffy take comfort on the poofter’s shoulder. There back was toward him, and he jumped down without a thought, and ran home.

‘How could she?’ It was the only questioned that ran through his mind. She left him for the one guy he couldn’t stand. He wanted to run back there, put some sense into her, but he wasn’t ready to show his face.

He had gone through hell to get there, and for what? To watch his beautiful Buffy with a manipulative player?

‘What happened to Dru?’ No one knew he was back, and he was beginning to believe that returning wasn’t such a good idea. But his soul was yearning for Buffy’s love, and he couldn’t let her go. There was no way.

He entered the Giles’ old residence, which was eerie. Although the furniture and pictures still remained, there was a slight dust covering everything. The furniture was covered with white sheets, and the phone and electricity were no longer connected.

Spike pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and turned it on for the first time in a week. It was no surprise that he had fifty-seven messages waiting for him. He sighed, and dialed his father first.

“Where the bloody hell are you?” There was strain in the British accent, and drowsiness. Spike wasn’t sure whether it was because it was near two in the morning there, or Giles just hadn’t slept since he disappeared.

“Home…I came to see Buffy.” Spike replied.

“Did you see her?” Giles hoped his son knew of the girl’s pregnancy. He hated keeping it a secret, but it wasn’t his responsibility to make Buffy rush.

“No…not really.” Spike answered.

Guilt washed over him at the way he had spoken to his son the week before. “About last week…I’m sorry. Buffy’s a lovely girl…I just don’t want you to end up as I did at your age.” Giles had kept enough secrets from his son in the past.

“What do you mean? Mom died, you didn’t have a choice. Besides, that has nothing to do with Buffy.” Spike said.

“Your mother…Gwendolyn didn’t die, William. She left us. I was eighteen, she was seventeen. She gave birth to you with regret, and left. I was putting you to sleep in the one-bedroom flat, while she said she was going to the store. I should have known she wouldn’t come back; she had barely touched you since you returned from the hospital.” Giles explained regretfully.

Spike was shocked. “How dare you? How the fuck could you keep something like this from me?”

“William…Spike, it’s not something that would have helped you find meaning in life.” Giles hesitated.

Spike felt the sudden tears spring to life. “I have found my bloody meaning, and I don’t care about you or Gwendolyn. I’m going to get Buffy back, and I’m going to marry her!” The bleached blonde vowed, and he hung up the phone.

Giles pressed the receiver and dialed the operator. “Good day, I was looking for the number to the airport…yes, I’m heading to Sunnydale, California.”
 

Chapter Nine: Numb

“Buffy Summers…” Principal Snyder called her name. As she waddled toward the older man, he smiled. “I’m happy you were able to make it through the year, under these circumstances.” For the first time ever, he gave the young mother to be, a genuine smile, and the crowd surrounding gave her a standing ovation.

With tears in her eyes, Buffy accepted her diploma, and made her way off the stage to sit with her friends. “We did it, guys!” She said excitedly, tears in her eyes.

“And without a visit to the magical land of summer school.” Xander said proudly.

“Or to the emergency room…Buffy’s looks about ready to pop.” Anya said, bluntly.

“That’s not the half of it…she’s still got two or three months to go.” Willow happily put a hand on her best friend’s growing belly.

In the distance, Spike watched. The shade of trees surrounded him, and for the first time, he had a clear view of Buffy. He felt his heart dip at the sight of her belly, and al that came to him was Angel, and anger, as he watched the tall brooding man jog over to the group and hug Buffy.

He was ready to make his appearance, until he spotted his father, making his way to the Scoobies, as well, Joyce in line behind him, and Dawn trailing after them. Giles hugged Buffy tightly, and whispered in her ear.

Spike watched as she looked around, looked for him, and he ducked behind the tree before she could spot him. The old man ratted him out. Without another thought, Spike fled…he ran to the house and began packing his things.

*

Buffy stopped at the front door, and hesitated. She looked back at the people that waited on the sidewalk.

“We’re here for you, Buffy, but you have to go in yourself.” Dawn supported. Angel, Willow, Xander, Anya, Oz, Joyce, and Giles all stood with her.

Buffy took a deep breath and went for the doorknob, stepping into the dark house.

“I just hope he takes it well…” Giles said nervously.

Joyce reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m sure he will.” She assured him.

“What’s taking so long?” Dawn questioned after a couple of minutes.

“They’re not going to magically appear with hugs and kisses. There’s a lot going on over there.” Xander said.

“He better not yell at her.” Angel swore.

“I’m sure he won’t…he’s going to be okay, they’re going to be okay.” Willow said it more to herself, than anyone else.

“They will.” Oz took the redhead in his arms.

“I hope we can go eat after this. I’m hungry.” Anya said, receiving glares and eye rolls from those around her. “I’m just saying what your tummy’s are thinking.”

Suddenly, Buffy emerged with tears in her eyes, and a note in her hand. It read:
“Dear Buffy: By this time I’m sure you’re aware of my presence, as I am aware of your wrong doings. I hope that you are very happy with Angel, as I will be alone. I’ll be around when I feel I can deal with this situation. I love you: Spike.”

“What is it?” Giles questioned, stepping forward, and retrieving the note from Buffy. “What the bloody fucking hell? Angel?”

“Me? Me what?” Angel questioned, taking the note from Giles. “He thinks I’m…we…the baby’s mine…”

“He what! That little son of a bitch better get back here. There is no way in hell it could be Angel’s.” Joyce yelled. Everyone gawked at the older woman’s reaction. “Sorry…I’m just a bit temperamental.”

Buffy’s tears silently fell down her cheeks. “Is that how he thinks of me?” She looked at the group for an answer, than turned away to walk home. “Whatever.”

“Buffy…”Willow called, but Joyce put up a hand to stop her from following.

“She needs a little time.”

*

The summer night was cool, and Buffy sat on the porch, her arms folding in her lap, as her tears fell. Joyce had arrived home with Willow in comfort mode, but she just wanted to be alone. Xander was in her room at that moment, putting together a crib. The baby shower was three weeks away, and she had just graduated.

In less than three months, she was going to be a mother, and Spike had no idea that the baby was his. A small smile graced her lips as she thought of giving birth to Spike’s child. With his eyes, and her hair, his cheekbones, and her complexion…their little boy was going to be perfection.

There was rustling in the bushes that surrounded the house, but Buffy ignored it. “Damn squirrels.” She muttered, rubbing her belly with tenderness.

College was going to be a bitch, too. As much as Joyce offered to help, and Dawn offered to be the nanny, Buffy knew she couldn’t depend on her family forever.

The sound of a twig snapping brought her back to reality, and to that day in the woods.

“W-who’s there?” She questioned into the darkness.

“Never pictured you for the outdoors type, Summers.” Spike made his way toward her, and sat beside her.

She felt as though she was hallucinating. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m ready to talk. I want to know what’s happening, why we’re not together? I also want to know how this happened.” He glanced at her belly with annoyance.

“Well, Spike…six months ago-“

“We were still bloody together then!” He stood and yelled.

“Can I finish?” She asked impatiently. He was really there, and it caused her tears to fall rapidly. He sat back down and waited for her to continue. “When we made up…I wasn’t on the pill.”

Spike made an “O” with his mouth, and sat there for a second. “Thank God it’s not that fucking wanker’s.” Suddenly it came to him that everyone knew and had been kept in the dark. “How long have you known?” He asked, his nostrils flaring in sudden anger.

“Three months…” She replied, fear striking her.

“Three months? Three fucking months!” He stood.

“You were getting your shit together, I didn’t want to disrupt it.” Buffy stood in defense.

“And my father?” Spike asked.

“He’s known for a few weeks. We didn’t want to get in the way of your life in England.” Buffy said sheepishly.

“And Angel?” He asked quietly, his anger settling.

“We’re just friends.” She answered.

“But how long has he know? What part has he taken in this?” Spike paced on the grass.

“H-he went to my first appointment with me…when I went to get the sonogram done. He’s been taking me while my mother’s at work.” Before the words left her mouth, he was stomping off angrily. “Where are you going?”

He turned to answer her one last time. “I can’t even look at you right now. You took away from the beginning of my child’s life.”

Buffy couldn’t allow herself to cry as she walked away. She was numb, unable to feel her heart’s piercing agony. Silently she stood, and made her way back into the house.She knew it was all her fault.
 

Chapter Ten: Control

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well.” Joyce said, when Buffy sat on her bed with red eyes. She was preparing for the gallery’s reopening with Giles’ return.

“He’s pissed.” Buffy said.

“He’ll get over it. You seem to be doing fine emotionally. You’ve had a long day, honey. I think you should rest.” Joyce suggested.

“But what about the party?” Buffy asked.

“Do you really want to go to a party filled with older stuffy people, that’ll pinch your cheeks, while looking down at you for having a baby out of wedlock?” Joyce asked.

“Nope…I’ll pass.” Buffy said with a smile, kissing her mother’s cheek and heading to her room.

“Hey Buffster.” Xander greeted as Buffy entered her room, which has scattered pieces of stained wood all around.

“How’s it going in here?” Buffy asked.

“Xander has yet to grasp the ‘put slot a in slot B’ direction…he had the same problem when we first had sex.” Anya said from the bed.

“I have to, it’s just there are a lot of different slot A’s and B’s.” He defended then caught her last words. “Hey!!!”

“Why don’t you put everything aside and call it a night. No one should be stuck inside during graduation night…except for big pregnant women.” Buffy looked down at her swollen stomach.

“Didn’t go well with Spike?” Xander asked.

“Don’t ask obvious questions…we were listening through the window in your mom’s room.” Anya said matter of fact.

“Thanks…it saves me from telling you about it.” Buffy sighed, and took a seat in the new stained wood rocking chair her mother had bought her.

“No problem, but remember if he still thinks it’s Angel’s you can go to Maury…I love that show. The ‘whose my baby’s daddy shows?’ are the best.” Anya smiled.

“You would.” Xander said with a remorseful frown.

*

Spike sat in the motel room that night, tears in his eyes, his thoughts confused. A knock on the door surprised him, and although he knew better, he hoped it was Buffy. “Come in.” He called out.

“I can’t help but wonder why you’ve chose to live here when there’s a perfectly good house that I have all to myself.” Giles said upon entrance, Joyce close behind.

“What do you want?” The stubborn blonde asked.

“Spike, I know that keeping the baby a secret from you was wrong, but you have to understand…Buffy wanted it for your own good.” Joyce said.

“And what good is that? Having her push me away, and letting me think it was because of someone else, or the possibility that I could have missed the birth of my first child.” Spike stood with anger.

“Calm down, son.” Giles ordered.

“I will not be calm. I’ve lost my girl, my life, and my last two hundred dollars to stay here for a week.” He raised his arms so they’d look around the dimly lit, tattered motel room. “Tell me that she made things better.”

“If you’ll just come back with us, you can fix this.” Joyce pleaded.

Spike looked over their clothes. Joyce wore a black cocktail dress, while Giles wore a suit. “Looks like you’re off somewhere important. Don’t let me keep you.” He walked to the open door and opened it wider.

“Are you sure?” Giles asked.

“Positive.” Spike didn’t meet his father’s eyes.

“If you decide to resolve this, Buffy has an appointment at the doctor’s office tomorrow at four. She’s been having a lot to check on the baby since her break down.” Joyce explained.

“Breakdown?” Spike inquired worriedly.

“When Buffy was in the hospital…she was overstressed and the baby was in distress. He was almost lost.” Joyce explained.

“He? It’s a boy? He’s a boy?” Spike felt the excitement take over. Joyce smiled warmly. “Thank you.” He said with a nod, as the duo left.

A boy. He was going to have a baby boy. He couldn’t allow anything to get in the way of his role as a father. He wasn’t his mother, and was certainly going to work on things with Buffy unlike his father.

*

“Buffy?” Dawn knocked on the door to her sister’s bedroom, and entered when there was no answer. She often did so, but in unusual fashion, she was baring gifts.

It had been hours since Xander and Anya left, and Buffy was still seated in the rocking chair. In a gentle slumber, she awoke at the creak of the door. “Dawn?” She questioned softly.

“I have a present!” Dawn said giddily, handing her sleepy sister a spoon and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Chip.

Buffy considered rejecting the offer, but her stomach refused to allow her. She gave her younger sibling a smile, and accepted the offer. “It’s times like this that I thank God for little sisters.”

Dawn giggle, sitting on Buffy’s bed with a sigh, her own pint in hand. She looked over at the half built crib. “Crib not going so good?” She questioned.

“Nope, but hey, if anything the baby can sleep with me until he’s eighteen.” Buffy thought aloud.

“And be emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.” Dawn interjected. “Plus, when you and Spike get your own place, the baby will need his own-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…slow down there speedy…at this point, Spike and I aren’t even together.” Buffy said, taking a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

“Than why did he just call, and tell me to let you know that he’ll be here at three to take you to your appointment?” Dawn questioned.

Anger seeped down to her gut, and she received a firm kick from her unborn son. She doubled over for a second, and Dawn rushed to her side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, he just doesn’t like me being mad at his daddy. Gave me a hell of a hit.” Buffy assured Dawn to go back to her seat. “Spike isn’t taking me to my appointment without talking to me first, therefore Angel’s taking me.”

“Why do you have to be such a bitch about everything? You’re letting your hormones take over, and you have to realize that Spike’s trying. If not for you, for your son. Learn how to do the same Buffy.” Dawn let out a small, “humph,” and exited the confines of the room.

Buffy stood in a daze, tears flooding her eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered to herself aloud. Deep in her gut she could felt the struggle she was having on her emotions, but she couldn’t control it, and she didn't have control over the fact that her need for Spike caused her to push him away.
 

*A/N: First, I’d like to explain Buffy’s behavior. Yes, although odd, you have to understand that when there’s a pregnancy, your emotions run high as hell. Hormones take over your body, and you’re like a crazy person. Buffy is running on pure emotion. She’s so young, and scared about the life that she’s going to give her son, and that causes her to act irrational. As for Joyce’s coddling, you have to also understand that Buffy went through a hard time with the stress, which she caused herself, but what good will it do if people give her more stress. There’s a reason for everything in this story. I also forgot that the title of this story is Alanis Morrisettes new single “Everything.” Maybe listening to the song will help you understand where this is going. I’m not hating on the reviewers. I enjoy every opinion, and love when people give such great opinions of the story (shippy.) Please, more input, and thanks to Ash for betaing!!!*

Chapter Eleven: Our Lives

Buffy greeted Angel at the front door, wearing a lilac sundress, and white Adidas sneakers. Her short straight loose hair was parted and held back by a white headband. “Hey Angel, you’re a half hour early.” She forced a smile. It was only 2:30pm.

“Hey, you’re looking really good.” He attempted to change the subject when she gave him a look. “Sorry, I was just checking…”

“To see if Spike was here?” She questioned, and he nodded. “Nope. He did make an appearance last night, though.”

“What did he want?” Angel attempted to sound as casual as possible.

Buffy stepped outside and took a seat on the porch swing and Angel sat beside her. “You know, the first time I realized that he was all I needed in my life was on the porch. Of course, I didn’t listen to myself for a while, but when he kissed me that day, it was like being in another universe.” She was dazed as she spoke of the day, and her sister’s tricks with her queer little boyfriend.
“I couldn’t escape him, and he was stuck in my head, in my dreams.” She looked at the brooding man before her, her eyes apologizing for going on of her former love. “It was never like that between us Angel.” She spoke honestly.

“How was it than, Buffy?” He questioned with hurt.

“It was like, I was alone until you came around, but after a little while you faded away and I was alone again. Knowing that Spike loves me, and feeling that he always will, helps me, but you had me lusting after you. You like the game of cat and mouse, while Spike goes in for his territory and makes sure he gets what he wants.”

“Before you push me away, Buffy, I wanted to tell you that I’m moving to Upstate New York next month to go to Cornell, and I want you to come with me, you and the baby. You can give birth there.” His announcement took her back.

“Angel…Spike is here, now.” Buffy said, folding her hands on her stomach, her eyes wide.

“But he can’t give you what I can…my parents have a house out there, and if you come they’ll help us out as much as possible.” He seemed to be pleading.

“I’m not going to live off your parents, Angel. That’s first, and second; I told you in the beginning that this couldn’t go any farther than friendship. You’re going to have to except that.” She was strong and confident.

Angel hung his head in defeat. “I just want to love you.”

“As much as I wish I could turn my back on Sunnydale, and love you in return, I can’t. My family is here, and my life. Spike’s here, too, and I’m not about to lose him again.” She couldn’t believe the words as they came out of her mouth. ‘I must be drugged off of those vitamin pills the doctor gave me.’

“I understand. I won’t bring it up again,” he stood and forced a smile. “Why don’t we go have lunch before we head to your appointment?”

“That won’t be necessary.” Spike stomped up the porch; white Nikes replacing his combat boots. He wore loose blue jeans, and a baby blue button down with a white shirt under. His hair was also MIA.

Buffy stared with wide eyes at the newly faded brunette, and his sudden change in style. “Spike?” She hesitated, unable to believe that it was him.

“It’s me, luv. Just thought I’d look a little more…mature for this appointment.” He announced. The thought had occurred to him the night before. If he was going to be a father, it was time that he grew up.

He paid a visit to Giles at the gallery, and discussed a few things. The older man lent him money for new clothes and a hair cut, then offered him a job in a times slot that wouldn’t effect his going to college.

“What’s he doing here?” Angel questioned, his jaw clenched.

“I’m taking the mother of my child to her appointment.” Spike announced, as Buffy just stood there with wide eyes, staring at him.

“Your car is too dangerous for Buffy to be in, in her state.” Angel attempted to stop him from taking Buffy.

“I borrowed my dad’s car, mate.” Spike held up the keys to his father’s Jeep Cherokee.

“As long as it’s not the one your mother died in,” the words slipped passed his lips without thought, and before Spike could get his punch in, Buffy was hitting the bulky man, pushing him down the stairs.

“How dare you talk about Jenny like that!? Get out…and if you ever want to be let into this house again, you better think of a grand apology, because I will give Spike a chance to get to you.” Buffy yelled, punching Angel where she could.

It wasn’t long before Spike was restraining her, and Angel was off in his Corvette. “That was even more proof that that man is a right bastard. People don’t change Buffy.” He said when she was still, and staring into his eyes.

“Look at you.” She scoffed.

“What about me?” Spike questioned.

“You’re not you anymore…look what you’re wearing…I mean it’s a nice change from black, but I didn’t fall in love with you like this. I fell in love with a bad boy. If I wanted this, I would have chose Riley. And your hair…” Her voice trailed off.

“I just wanted to show you how I’ve changed for you.” Spike said sadly.

“I know you have, Spike, but your change goes much deeper than what’s on the outside, so please, go back, and let your hair grow out again.” She seemed to be pleading.

“Is that what you want pet?” His breath tickled her neck.

“I won’t touch you until it’s all back to normal.” She announced.

“It’ll be back in two weeks, but I’ll die a little each day that I can’t kiss you.” He put a hand over his heart.

“You deserve to suffer for changing your appearance this way.” Buffy looked up at him with dreamy eyes, and pulled herself away from him. “If we don’t hurry we’ll be late.” She announced.

“We got an hour to get there, luv, and it’s fifteen minutes away.” He looked at his watch.

“You’re treating your son and I to McDonalds on the way.” She announced happily, walking to the car.

*

“The old man’s going to complain that his auto smells like fries.” Spike announced as they pulled into the parking lot of Sunnydale Prenatal Facilities.

“I just don’t understand why you almost barfed from the smell.” Buffy looked over at the Brit warily. “Are you pregnant?” She asked with a small grin.

“No…just worked with fish and chips for a little too long…” He got out of the car, and went to her side to open the door.

“You had a job?” Buffy asked in amazement.

He sighed as she stepped out, and stood in front of him. He smoothed a hand over her hair, noticing that she cut it and smiled. “I was willing to do anything to get back to you.”

“You were trying to by a ticket to get back to me?” She questioned in aw.

“Yeah, pet. Especially after you made me believe that you had another bloke on the side.” Spike put a hand to her cheek.

“I did have someone else on the side.” She stepped around him with a hand on her belly. The loss of touch was painful, but she put the feeling aside. She had to focus on her child with all her might, or she’s stress herself into miscarriage.

Spike followed after looking up to the heavens for a little help.

Upon entrance everyone greeted Buffy. “Buffy, see you at lamas class on Thursday?” Lilah Morgan asked with a hand on her belly.

“Yeah, def. How’s your husband?” Buffy took a seat beside the other expecting mother with a smile, and Spike stood by the door uncomfortably.

“Knox is fine…working hard at UC Sunnydale. Will we be seeing you there after the baby?” Lilah questioned with a smile.

Buffy looked forward, unable to answer the question.

“She’ll make it there. I’ll make sure to it that she’ll be in on time for the winter semester.” Spike said with a smile, and Buffy couldn’t help but return it.

“Who’s this gentleman?” Lilah questioned.

“The father.” Buffy replied, and Spike came to her side and took her hand.

“What happened to the other brooding young man?” Lilah asked.

“He was just a friend.” Buffy looked up to Spike with a nod.

“Buffy Summers,” Ben called from the office door. “Where’s Angel?” He questioned, looking over Spike.

“Angel won’t be coming with me anymore. This is Spi-William. He’s the father.” Buffy replied.

With wide eyes Ben signaled the couple to join him. “And Maury didn’t have to help you out with that one?” His smile was full of amusement.

“Nope, always knew William was the father. Angel was just taking his place while he finished school in London.” Buffy explained.

“Yeah, mate. Had to make sure my girl was safe.” Spike ensured the man in blue smocks.

“Angel took great care of her…almost as though she was his.” Ben’s comment caused Spike’s jaw to clench.

“Don’t let it upset you…he really was good, and he didn’t try a thing. Besides, I’m not you girl anymore.” Buffy said to her non-bleached man.

“Yet,” Spike said, as Buffy went into a small room and changed out of her clothes and into a hospital gown.

She came back into the room and sat on cold hospital table, putting her legs up on the stirrups. Spike freaked when he saw Ben sit between his love’s legs, after putting a paper-like blanket over them.

“What the bloody hell-“

“He’s just checking to see if I’m dilated. Trust me, I freaked the first time he asked me to spread them.” Buffy assured him.

“Everything looks fine.” Ben said, cautiously. The last thing he needed was a beat down. He carefully lifted Buffy’s gown to expose her belly, her waist covered by the blanket. He squirted the cerulean jelly on her stomach, and switched on the machine. Putting a small, wired patch on her swollen stomach, the room filled with a fast paced beat.

“What’s that?” Spike questioned looking around the room.

“The baby’s heart beat.” Buffy replied, reaching for his hand.

Spike filled with wonder and amazement as a small remote like contraption was placed on her abdomen, and the baby’s picture filtered to the screen. “Bloody hell…” He was in awe of the sight before him.

“Since it’s Will’s first time seeing the baby, I’ll point everything out. There’s an arm, a leg, the head, and below that is the penis. A beautiful boy.” Ben looked up at the parents, and Buffy smiled while Spike stared. “I’ll be back in a few, give you a little time to yourselves.”

Upon the doctor’s exit, Spike spoke. “We made this Buffy…he’s all ours.”

“I know…it’s amazing. I didn’t think this was something I wanted…but then when I thought of our love and how we shared it, I knew even though he was expected, he was no accident.” Buffy said, and Spike looked down at her glowing face.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said before she could stop him. “I love you, and I will have you as my wife.”

“Oh really?” Buffy questioned with a sad grin.

“Don’t care if I have to drag you to the buggering alter. After the baby is born, you better start planning our wedding.” He was set in his decision and although she was hesitant on the outside, her insides were jumping for joy.
 

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