~*~

~*~

Chapter Five:

Ever had that dream where you’re in the dark?  That inky lightless dark and you’re scared shitless?

Cuz you know there’s something out there waiting for you? But you can’t see it. You can feel it and you know with a certainty that’s scary one step in the wrong direction and you’re gone. Dead. Eaten. Whatever.

You’re just gone and you know it’s gonna hurt. Like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

Sometimes for Spike the darkness was almost as scary as the light. The white and blinding light. Light that came with the knowledge he was in for another round of torture. Another round of dig around in Spike’s head.

Spike woke with a silent scream locked in his throat, his hands curled and clawed ready to fight, to kill.

Senses stretched to their limit he inhaled sharply trying to remember where he was and why there was a scent he’d only dreamed about.

His eyes flickered around narrowed dangerously.

A low growl started in the base of his throat and as he was about to let it roar a voice stopped him.

“She went out to get some blood Spike,” Wes’s hesitant voice came from a corner of the dark shack.

Spike stiffened.

Words wanted to tumble from his mouth, but he couldn’t get his brain wrapped around them long enough to verbalize his feelings.

So he settled on growling once more.

Wes slowly got up from the floor peering at Spike through the dim light of the moon. Buffy had expressed great concern in leaving both vampires’ in his care. Wesley had assured her he would do his best to take care of them despite his better judgment.

He wasn’t sure how he knew it but Wes knew Spike was scared and disoriented enough to become violent. He racked his mind to find a way to calm him. To reassure him all would be well once the Slayer returned with blood.

“Buffy wanted me to tell you she would be back soon and that she needed you to watch over Drusilla,” Wes told Spike slowly.

Spike’s eyes flashed yellow at the mention of Drusilla.

Spike slowly turned his eyes from Wes to the form huddled in the middle of the room. He sniffed then shook his head.

Things were just starting to make a certain amount of sense. Since she’d come and now...they expected him to watch out for her. He’d been with her for months and still could not recall a thing about the other vampire. She was just there. Prattling on and on. He knew she knew him.

She had talked to him again and again about days long past and he’d wondered why she kept mentioning a Ms. Edith.

The more she had talked the more he’d hated her. The more she’d twirled around and tossed dead bodies at his feet the more indifferent he became.

She was nothing to him.

But she had expected him to embrace her.

Her advances had sickened him; he had been in such a state that he hadn’t been able to put her off, to stop her.

And now there was that wiggling thing in her belly. It unnerved him and made him hate her even more. It was a baby he knew but he didn’t like it.

But through it all there had been one saving grace.

One thing he was certain was his very own memory. His very own savior and he’d clutched onto that image. That tiny golden haired girl.

At first when he’d found himself outside of his prison and with Drusilla the first few days he’d been sure it had been Buffy who had rescued him.

That she’d finally come like he’d known she would. She was a fighter like him, a survivor and he’d kept that knowledge to himself. If anyone could get him out of that vile place she could.

He hadn’t been real sure who she was. Except that the flashes in his mind always showed them fighting. Neither winning always dancing around one another.

He’d been entranced and now...

He toned down the growls as he slowly relaxed. She wanted him to look out for the other vampire. And he would because she’d told him to.

But he didn’t have to like it, he mused.

He didn’t say a word as he rose and shuffled over to Drusilla and glanced down at her.

Wes gave a huge sigh of relief. He had no idea why Spike seemed to only respond to Buffy but he was grateful nonetheless.

Straightening his glasses he settled back down to keep watch once again.

He hoped Buffy’s night was successful.

When she’d told him she was going out, he had given the circumstances ‘freaked’, as she put it. He hadn’t wanted to stay alone and vulnerable with the vampires.

Buffy had insisted saying as the Slayer it was easier for her to get around unnoticed and she had to make some calls. She’d mumbled other things too but he hadn’t heard. He had been too caught up in the prospect of being left alone with William the Bloody.

Now he gazed out the cracked and dirty window wondering if Buffy had succeeded.

~*~

Buffy shifted back into the shadows as a small car motored past and a puddle of muddy water shooting up.

Buffy leaned against the wall and wiped at her brow which was covered in sweat and now mud she realized belatedly.

Her hands were covered in mud.

So was her clothing.

But then again it came in handy, she mused with resigned humor. She now blended into the woodwork and could be as stealthy and sneaky as need be.

Unfamiliar with her surroundings it had taken Buffy awhile to locate the butchers shop and then another half hour to locate the actual butcher’s house.

The small village was a good ten miles from the shack they were at and she glanced at her watch. She couldn’t stay much longer if they were going to move out.

Buffy had decided to make this trip herself because she’d needed to get out of that place. Have a little time to herself and form a game plan.

She wasn’t much with the strategic planning thingy but she would have to try.

Buffy shook her head, she was off track. She’d gotten the blood about a couple of day’s worth. There had been no phone and the Butcher had no cell phone so she was screwed.

She’d had to use brute strength of course to get the man to move his fat ass but once inside his shop he’d relaxed and she didn’t have to hurt him. But she warned him if he mentioned this to anyone she’d send Spike after him.

It was almost midnight now and she’d been on her way home when the cars had started to appear. One after the other.

Small black sedans and Buffy knew any time they’d had run out.

So she stood in the shadows and watched as another car slowly moved through the muddied streets of the village.

Hefting the bag of blood closer she counted to ten when the car turned the corner and sprinted down the street.

Evasion was the game plan and Buffy had always been good at that.

~*~

Maggie leaned against her desk and studied the file in her hands. Interesting, she thought with a smile as she looked over Buffy Anne Summers police record.

The girl had been quite reckless in her disregard for the law.

In fact if she weren’t the best potential experiment ever Maggie might have been tempted to recruit her to work for the Initiative. Buffy would have served her government well.

But there was time yet for that.

Maggie closed the file with a flick of her wrist and she tossed it behind her.

“Report,” she ordered through the intercom.

“Ma’am we’re sweeping through the village as I speak. There’s been no sign of her at all,” Riley’s voice answered through his com link.

Maggie frowned.

“She has to be there somewhere! The locating spell said she was there. Keep looking and don’t hesitate to stun her if she resists. But don’t shoot to kill. I want her as unharmed as can be. Do you understand?” she demanded abruptly.

“Yes ma’am.”

Maggie disconnected the line and pushed from the desk.

She turned her attention to the man tied to the chair to her left.

Gagged and bloody he looked quite a mess.

“I’m sorry. Where was I again?” she asked carefully as she turned to her desk.

She slowly let her hands trace the tools she’d laid out.

“Oh yes...” she purred as she picked up a thin blade. “I was in the process of explaining why you never cross Maggie Walsh wasn’t I? I wonder will you scream this time. I want to hear you scream.”

The first cut of the blade along Quentin Travers scalp sent a shock of pain straight through him and he bit down hard on his gag.

“Quentin maybe you didn’t hear me. I want to hear you scream,” Maggie viciously yanked the gag from his mouth and pushed the blade in deeper.

“You bloody buggerin’ bitch,” Quentin yelled.

Maggie tilted her head and then laughed. Threw back her head and let it rip.

“Not what I was expecting but it will certainly do. You’ll be screaming for your life by the time I’m done with you. And you’ll tell me where your precious Wesley Whyndam- Pryce would take the Slayer and her band of vampires,” she declared with cold authority.

~*~

Wes’s eyes widened in fright and shock as he saw the tell tale lights of a vehicle coming closer through the field.

“Spike,” he hissed.

Spike’s head shot up from his position next to Dru.

He moved as quickly as he could to the window next to Wes.

“Do you see that?” Wes asked pointing to the car.

Spike nodded and gripped the ledge of the windowsill until his hands began to ache with the force of it.

He could hear the distinct thump of Wes’s erratic heartbeat and three more from outside.

His eyes could clearly pick out their features and what he saw had him going rigid with fear and shock.

Not fear for himself much to his astonishment. These were some of the men who’d captured him, tortured him.

He felt a burning rage build.

But the fear was dominant.

His Slayer was out there.

Alone.

“I say we just-“Wes turned to Spike in time to see him race out the door. His mouth hung open in shock and abruptly he crawled to Drusilla.

How was he going to get them both out of here? Now that he was alone he wished feverently that he’d attended the seminar on behavioral forms on vampires instead of attending the annual Watchers retreat.

Drusilla was asleep as far as Wes could tell. So when he poked her in the shoulder he let out a half gasp, half yell as she turned to him her eyes yellow.

He crossed himself and scrambled back as she began to growl and she rolled to her feet. A small part of Wes’s brain noted her unique gracefulness as she was clearly in the advanced stages of pregnancy.

“Drusilla you don’t want to eat me,” he told her as confidently as he could.

“No I want to kill you,” Drusilla calmly replied before she attacked.

~*~

Spike crouched low as the car rolled past him. He wasn’t sure but it seemed as if they’d disregarded the shack as empty and were on their way.

It mattered little to him though as he rocked back and forth on his hunches. He slid forward and with a roar landed on the hood of the car. With a snarl his hands curled and clenched into the roof.

He ripped it off with a howl.

Stared down at the terrified faces of the men and grinned.

~*~

What do you do when you know what you’re seeing is wrong? So wrong and yet you can’t move a muscle to stop it.

Can’t bring yourself to move an inch. Because you know it’s wrong but you don’t care. You can’t care because you know on some level they deserve it.

They should die. They should feel what they’d done to others and suffer the same way.

Abruptly Buffy shook off her shock and moved.

Dropped the bag of blood and raced to the car and Spike.

“Spike,” she yelled as she jumped onto the car and jumped onto the hood next to him. “Spike put him down. That’s enough,” she ordered.

Spike lifted the man he had by the throat and growled into his face.

He shook him.

Looked over at Buffy.

Why couldn’t she understand he had to kill them? He wondered. Didn’t she know they’d come after them unless he killed them?

He bent his head fangs bared.

“Spike,” Buffy said again and he couldn’t ignore the blatant warning in her tone.

He flung the man aside unfazed when he screamed and landed in a near by tree.

He went onto the next one.

He would kill this one, he thought. Kill him and make an example. Mess with him and his and you would die.

“Spike,” Buffy said again. “Put him down and come on we don’t have a lot of time. We have to get o-“

Wesley’s scream ripped through the air.

“Come on,” Buffy ordered as she jumped from the car and raced to the shack.

Spike hesitated.

Everything in him warned him he would regret this. With a roar he slammed his fist into the man’s face. Dropped him and followed after Buffy.

Buffy burst through the door of the shack.

Stared in shock.

Spike ran straight into Buffy.

Buffy stumbled, blinked and slowly shook her head. Trying to clear her vision enough to understand what she was seeing.

But it didn’t make sense.

Well one thing did and that was the weirdest thing of all.

In the middle of the room lay a baby and a pile of dust. Wesley stood off to the side a hand pressed to his throat and a shocked expression on his face.

The baby began to cry and Buffy acted.

“We need to move,” Buffy ordered.

“I don- Buffy she just exploded into dust,” Wes exclaimed with wonder. “And there lay the baby-“

“Shut up and move. We need to get out of here now,” Buffy over rode him and moving on pure instinct she scooped the baby up and into her arms.

Passed it over to Spike.

Spike jumped back and cringed.

“No,” he started to protest raising his hands.

Buffy didn’t listen as she thrust the baby into his arms.

“Spike take it. Wes come on we’re going.”

Buffy didn’t wait for her orders to be followed as she dashed out the door headed straight for the men they’d left by the car.

The two Spike had played with were now unconscious and Buffy quickly went through their pockets and took what she thought would come in handy.

As an after thought she grabbed both the guns the soldiers had dropped.

“Dear Lord are they dead?” Wes asked in concern as he noticed the men.

“No,” Buffy answered shortly. “Get in the car. You’re driving. Now.”

It wasn’t until they were in the car and miles from the shack that she let herself look over at Spike.

He held the baby wrapped in one to the soldiers shirts awkwardly. The expression on his usually expressionless face was one of fear. And panic.

“Spike...” Buffy whispered.

Spike’s eyes locked on hers with such a look of relief and happiness that it stole Buffy’s breath for a moment.

She blinked caught in his gaze and abruptly reached out and laid a hand on his arm.

“You did the right thing by not killing those men,” she murmured wondering if he understood her. She wasn’t quite sure how much Spike understood these days.

Spike’s mouth moved and she knew he wanted to say something.

Finally he gave a small growl as words failed him.

“Well,” Buffy shook her head, “anyway you did good. Let’s get a look at the baby.”

Happily Spike shoved the baby into Buffy’s arms and looked relieved as Buffy adjusted to the small baby.

She moved the shirt aside to peer down at the sleeping baby.

Sleeping peacefully the baby exuded calm and innocence.

Worry slid through her as she continued to stare at the baby. Watched the even rise and fall of the tiny chest.

The baby was human she realized dully.

Human.

And Spike’s.

And Drusilla’s.

Her mind veered away from that and how Spike would react to the news that his black queen was dead.

“Come over here,” Buffy finally spoke as she peeked under the shirt and realized Spike had a son.

Because he seemed to like following her orders Spike slid over on the seat next to her.

“This Spike is your son,” she announced voice trembling and small.

She hoped it was his son. Maybe the little baby would be the key to regaining some part of Spike.

Spike stared at the baby.

“No,” he issued coldly.

“Yes,” Buffy countered. “This little baby is yours and you have to love it Spike! I need you to love him. You’re his father. Does that mean anything to you?” she demanded.

“No,” Spike repeated.

Buffy sighed and looked up at Spike.

“Well too bad. Since we’re stuck together for the mean time you are going to get better and you are going to love this boy. And I guess I’m the one who will have to teach you,” was her resigned response.

Spike peered at her as if gauging her sincerity and finally nudged her.

“You too,” he mumbled.

Frowning she shook her head.

“What?” she asked confused.

“Baby too,” he murmured.

“What?” she echoed like a fool.

“I dare say he seems inclined to believe you two are family. You and he and the baby are some sort of family. He wants you to love the baby too I think,” Wes piped up from the front.

“That’s not what he meant,” Buffy snapped glaring at the back of Wes’s head.

“Of course not,” Wes’s retort was sarcastic. “He only listens to you and the more time you spend with him the more attached he will be to you. And the same applies to the baby. There is a reason he remembers you and only you Buffy. Have you asked yourself why that is?”

Buffy didn’t respond as she found Spike staring at the baby and occasionally at Buffy too distracting.

She hadn’t pondered all the implications of Spike remembering her and to be truthful she wasn’t sure she wanted to go there.

But it seemed as things always did change had battered her door down and was staring her right in the face.

She couldn’t possible care about Spike could she? She wondered panic stricken.

No.

No.

Yes, a tiny voice insisted. You came all this way to help him and still you’re helping with the baby.

You care.

Buffy opened her mouth and accepted the change reluctantly.

“Yeah I guess me too,” she muttered looking at the baby then at Spike.

Spike gave her one of his rare half smiles and Buffy was lost.

~*~

Giles regarded the phone with a worried frown.

It was ringing and he wasn’t certain if he wanted to answer it. Because there was a rumor amongst the Watchers he’d contacted Quentin Travers was no longer Head Watcher. So the phone at the moment was an enemy.

Yet it could very well be Buffy calling and so abruptly he reached out and snatched the phone up.

“Yes? Buffy?” he asked excitedly.

“Sorry to disappoint Mr. Giles but alas it’s merely me,” a feminine voice drifted over the line and Giles frowned.

“And who is this?” he demanded harshly dreading the answer.

“Dr. Maggie Walsh,” was the answer.

“What can I do for you Ms. Walsh?” Giles finally asked once he’d found his voice.

“You can tell me where oh where your Slayer has gone,” she sing-songed.

“And you can just bloody well go to hell,” Giles slammed the phone down and reacted immediately.

Though it was the middle of the night he knew a Scooby meeting must be called immediately and a way to bring Buffy back found as soon as possible.

~*~

Maybe it hadn’t been too smart just galloping off to save the day. In fact he was pretty certain it had been a very bad idea.

Maybe it was because he was currently pacing the small length of floor of his cell in the dungeon of the Council HQ.

Yes a dungeon.

He had been surprised to find out the Council had one.

As soon as he’d gotten off the plane he had headed for the nearest house Spike had frequented with Dru back in the day.

He had found it empty.

His search had been fruitless until the last house. A manor style house in the country and there he’d found enthralled servants and evidence of Dru and Spike having been there.

And Buffy.

But before he could leave he’d been ambushed and surrounded by commando type people.

With guns and more guns.

He’d been captured while putting up a fight and now here he stood.

He knew there was some one down here with him in the dark. He could hear the stuttering heartbeat.

“You got any idea what’s goin’ on?” he asked with a worried frown.

“Perhaps,” came a thin and pain filled voice, “you would do well to keep your mouth shut. Maggie doesn’t take kindly to people who talk. Especially when they talk back.”

“Listen to the man,” Maggie advised as she strode forward.

Where had she come from? Angel wondered. He hadn’t heard her footsteps and yet here she was.

“Listen I don’t know what you want but you need to let me out of here,” Angel ground out glaring at the woman.

“I do?” Maggie asked with a laugh. “Well golly let me just grab my keys here and let you out. Because I need too!”

Angel hissed out a breath at her mocking voice.

“You don’t know who you’re dealing with,” he warned.

“Oh I know exactly who you are Angelus. In fact that’s why you’re here. What better way to lure the Slayer back here than to dangle her forbidden love as bait. The love of her life. Her precious Angel. For you she’ll do anything.”

Angel’s face fell. He knew Maggie spoke the truth and knew Buffy would risk her life to rescue him.

He cursed his foolishness and his need to come to Buffy’s rescue.

“I guess using your brain is an Angelus thing huh?” Maggie asked conversationally.

“I’m going to kill you,” Angel stated matter of factly.

Maggie studied him carefully and then gave a nod.

“I believe you would. But what pray tell would your darling Slayer say to that? Murdering a human? Much less a respected citizen and scientist. Tsks, tsk vampire, think of the bigger picture. I can get rid of that pesky soul of yours. For good. In fact I think it’s high time for me to see just what makes you so special. See if you compare to dear old Spike.”

Angel’s head shot up.

“What?” he asked. “What about Spike? What-did you use him to get to Buffy? Because you’re wrong she wouldn’t help him! He’s worthless.”

“And yet here you are and Spike is safe for the meantime with the Slayer. You’ll enjoy this. Spike did.”

~*~

Chapter Six:

Giles rubbed his eyes and tried to refrain from letting his frustration out on the delivery boy. Really how hard was it to get the proper change and leave?

Irritated Giles replaced his glasses and glared at the gangly youth.

“Keep it,” he abruptly snapped and all but shoved the boy out of the house.

“Way to go G-man. Remind me never to get on your bad side! Oh wait make that never deliver pizza to you,” Xander piped up as he wandered over and took the pizzas from Giles.

Giles rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

“If you were to ever deliver anything to me Xander-” Giles began with a slight grimace.

Joyce recognized the signs of an oncoming argument and spoke up cutting Giles off.

“Once we’ve all had some food we’ll feel better. Dig in everyone. Rupert take a slice and let’s continue with our conversation,” she encouraged with a wide and strained smile.

Giles did as he was told and obediently took a slice of pizza and dropped into a chair.

“Where were we?” he asked distractedly watching Xander stuff a whole slice into his mouth.

“Well Angel’s run off to London we know,” Oz announced as he took a bite of his food.

“A stupid thing to do considering Buffy didn’t ask for help,” Willow couldn’t help but point out.

“Not that she could. What with being hunted by this Maggie woman. We know our cloaking spell worked but it’s temporary. The only feasible way I see of helping Buffy out of this dire situation is to-“Giles began pacing the room.

“Road trip,” Xander exclaimed jumping up.

Cheese dangled from the edge of his mouth and Joyce made a sound in the back of her throat.

“Xander dear wipe your mouth. I doubt Rupert meant that. Explain,” Joyce said as calmly as she could.

These past weeks had passed torturously slowly for Joyce. But she’d come to the realization being hysterical wouldn’t help.

“No road trip. But my connections- well my unsavory ones will be helpful. Very. In fact I called a man about Buffy earlier this evening. He was very agreeable,” Giles neglected to mention the threats he’d issued.

“That’s wonderful! How is he going to find Buffy? She’s got to be hiding. I mean with Spike and Drusilla it could be anywhere. And oh! They may not even be in England any more! What if they’re gone and we never find them and-“

“We’ll find her and Spike too,” Joyce snapped sharply and immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry Willow. Buffy is in London still. She wouldn’t know how to get about anywhere else. She’s in London.”

Joyce’s voice dared anyone to question that statement.

No one bothered too.

“So what’s up with Dead boy? What’s gotten into him?  Why does he always have to be rescue guy? He’d better not take all the credit,” Xander grumbled mouth full.

“Yes what has become of Angel?” Giles wondered rubbing his chin and frowning thoughtfully.

~*~

“For a vampire such as yourself your self restraint is non existent,” Maggie mused aloud as she watched Angel.

Hands fisted on her hips she regarded the vampire who was currently strapped down to a metal table.

Angel continued to moan quietly to himself, and Maggie felt a prickle of pride slide through her.

These were her specialized methods and she was always glad to see them put to good use.

Experimenting on Angelus was a treat.

A real treat.

“I must say I expected more from you. This is just the preliminaries. In fact being older you should have a better tolerance for pain. I guess it depends on the vampire. You see Spike was making rude and brash comments during this phase. Hmm… Another way you and he differ.”

Her technicians used to her methods went about their jobs. Poking and prodding. Cutting flesh and taking samples of blood.

As far as torture went this was nothing.

Maggie trailed a hand down Angel’s face and watched as he jerked slightly.

“You know William the Bloody. Helped him to become the vampire he is today. It’s safe to assume you know how he thinks. I want you to tell me where he would go. Where Buffy would go.”

Angel clenched his jaw.

Then screamed as he felt…

The pain was immense as the gaping wound in his stomach was stretched.

Widened and hands…

Hands dug around his stomach.

Pulled and cut…

“You can live without these can’t you?” Maggie asked conversationally as she examined his kidneys.

She reached in and gripped one in each hand.

Yanked hard.

Grinned as he screamed and screamed.

“Now let’s get into little William’s head. Where would he wander off too?” Maggie asked Angel lightly.

The words spilled out of Angel’s mouth like quicksilver.

~*~

He wasn’t sure what drove him from the safety of the Slayer but some instinct had him out.

Out and hunting.

Prowling the streets for his prey.

Shifting in and out of the shadows Spike moved silently through the streets of the small village.

His nose twitched as he caught the scent of his prey and he hurried his pace.

It wasn’t until he was upon the unsuspecting animal did it occur to Spike, that it couldn’t be food for the baby.

He scowled as he took care of the wild boar and slung it over his shoulder.

The baby, he mused with mild annoyance was foremost in all their minds.

Especially the Slayer’s.

He couldn’t understand her need to talk to the thing all of the time. To hold it and touch it.

He never touched it and never felt the urge to speak to it.

Frankly it angered him that the thing was taking all of Buffy’s attention from him. It could do nothing for itself and was useless.

He hadn’t made the mistake of saying this to Buffy however. She was protective of it. And wouldn’t have appreciated his opinion.

Running on instinct and survival skills he hunted down the nearest milk cow. Wondered what to carry the milk in and decided on a discarded bucket.

With his tasks accomplished he weaved in and out of alleys. Headed to the small house Wesley had acquired.

Tapping softly he entered quickly, and shut the door behind him.

A fire burned in the hearth and Spike’s eyes scanned the room landing on Buffy.

He smiled.

Wes looked up from the book he was studying intently and noticed Spike’s full arms.

“Oh! Is that a pig?” he asked curiously getting to his feet.

Spike grunted and dropped it to the floor.

Wes inspected the animal nudging it with his foot.

“Well I’ll be,” Wes shook his head. He’d been hesitant to let Spike go out. He could surely feed and draw attention to them all.

Buffy had been sure that was not going to happen. So sure that she’d insisted Wes let Spike bring ho,e dinner tonight.

“You’ll have to skin it,” Spike muttered.

Wes and Buffy looked at him in shock.

But for very different reasons.

Wesley had never touched a dead animal in all his life! And wasn’t inclined to start now.

Buffy was just hocked that he’d spoken. It was the most things he’d said in the past few weeks.

Usually he almost always spoke one syllable words. A complete sentence was amazing progress.

“A complete sentence! That’s great Spike!” Buffy exclaimed as she grinned at him from a chair.

Spike smiled at her once more and wished she’d come to him. Give him his hug. A hug he knew was reserved only for him.

She didn’t hug Wesley.

Only him.

It made him happy and proud.

“Milk for the baby,” he muttered then as he lifted the bucket.

Buffy squealed.

“Thank you,” she cried as she got to her feet patting the baby on the back.

Spike watched Wes’s useless attempts at skinning a pig for awhile. Leaning against the wall he rested his head against it, and let his eyes fall half close.

“Why couldn’t he have chosen a skinned and processed pig to pick up?” Wes muttered to Buffy a few moments later.

Buffy laughed softly as she fed the baby.

It was a good thing they’d managed to pick up a few baby bottles while leaving England behind.

They hadn’t had much time to get anything else. The most essential Buffy had figured was getting food for the baby.

The formula they’d gotten needed milk thus Spike’s foray into milking cows.

Buffy sent Spike another smile.

She was quite proud of his progress.

He was talking and looking better each passing day.

The only thing she could complain about was his lack of affection towards his son.

She couldn’t understand that.

Wesley had tried to explain it. As he was a Watcher, he was an authority, he assured her.

Vampires couldn’t love and so why would Spike feel a thing for the baby? In his mind it was just food.

Buffy hadn’t wanted to start an argument but she disagreed.

She knew Spike could love.

She’d seen it with her own eyes.

Spike had it in him even without a soul. He had loved Dru for years and she just knew if he let himself he could love the baby.

Rocking the sleeping baby Buffy studied Spike.

“We have to give this little boy a name,” she announced and watched Spike’s reaction.

He frowned.

Buffy was slowly becoming to realize Spike didn’t just dislike the baby, but he was jealous of it as well.

The baby had most of her attention and Buffy supposed it was natural for Spike to be this way.

He had hardly any alone time with her since the baby had been born.

“Ugh,” Wes gagged as he skinned the pig. “Well I’ve always liked Franklin.”

Buffy frowned in dismay.

“Franklin?” she echoed glancing at the baby’s peaceful face.

“What’s wrong with that?” Wes demanded.

“Spike come sit by me,” Buffy ordered.

Spike pushed off the wall and in a couple of strides was next to her.

He slid to the floor at her feet.

Peering up at her he waited.

“Do you like Franklin Spike?” Buffy asked.

What was the point of this? Spike wondered as he shrugged.

“Well how about Rob?” Buffy asked eagerly.

Spike shook his head.

“Rob? No Englishman would name their child Rob! Buffy you must think of the heritage of the name,” Wes informed her.

Spike listened with half an ear.

His eyes and thoughts were glued to another matter.

He watched Buffy’s mouth move.

It fascinated him to no end.

She fascinated him.

He wasn’t sure what it was but she kept him intrigued. For months on end she had been his only thought.

Yet here she was not more than a few inches away.

He marveled at it all.

She was special he realized. Something worth dying and fighting for. He knew this with a certainty that was startling in its depth.

Buffy was everything he had hoped she was. She had come as he had suspected she would. Taken him and Dru under her protection and she cared about him.

“…Wesley’s a fine name. A dignified name Spike,” Wes’s voice interrupted Spike’s thoughts and he dragged his gaze from Buffy to Wes.

“Wesley?” Buffy echoed incredulously. “He barely knows you! I doubt he’ll name his baby after you,” she added with a small laugh.

“What say you Spike?” Wes asked nose in the air as he slid a glance Spike’s way.

“Well-“he began slowly.

“I like Tate,” Buffy blurted and immediately looked guilty.

It caught Spike’s attention immediately.

“Why?” he demanded.

Buffy frowned and tried to back track. She hadn’t meant to say that. In fact it had been her personal preference slipping out.

She’d always thought if she lived to see the day she’d name her son that.

Now it was out there in the open and she was having second thoughts about the name.

“I…just like the name is all,” she mumbled into her chest.

Spike nodded.

“That’s all good and well but Wesley is still a better name,” Wes continued stubbornly.

“Tate,” Spike repeated slowly. He glanced at the sleeping baby and rolled it around his head. He could live with a name like that, he thought.

Buffy glanced down at the little boy and gave a mental shrug. It wasn’t likely she’d live to even have children. So what was the point in hoarding names?

“William Tate,” Spike announced with a satisfied smile.

Buffy smiled too.

“We’ll call him Tate,” she replied.

“Ah there is still Wes-“

“William Tate,” Spike snapped impatiently. “Known as Tate. Now shut the bloody hell up.”

Wes sighed in defeat.

“William Tate,” he murmured in remorse.

Buffy lifted her arms out to Spike.

“Here hold him. Hold Tate,” she urged.

Spike stared at the creature with an impassive face. He hadn’t willing held the child since it had been born.

Hesitation eased through him like blood.

He didn’t want to hold the baby.

For then it would make it real and that would mean…

He accepted the baby from Buffy.

Awkward and stiff he held Tate to his chest.

“Don’t worry,” Buffy told him gently. “Hold his head. Yeah like that. Good thing we’ve got Wes with us or we’d never know the proper way to hold a baby,” she mused.

Spike stared wide-eyed at his son.

“Tate,” he whispered aloud.

An odd thing happened then.

He fell in love for the third time in his unlife.

As his son stretched in his sleep, his little mouth moving.

As the little thump of his heart reached his ears. As he traced his son’s features engraving them in his mind…

He loved.

He blinked as Buffy’s hand rested on his shoulder.

“Welcome to the world William Tate…er Bloody,” she said softly.

//

Buffy knew it was dangerous ground she was treading on these days. Dangerous and all too complicated.

She leaned her head against the window and breathed in deeply. On the third watch tonight she was aware that her wandering thoughts could get them all killed.

She made an effort to restore some semblance of balance to her thoughts.

“Buffy?” his voice was she wished an unwanted intrusion.

She wanted to sigh again and tell him to go back to sleep. She wasn’t up to talking to him. At least not now.

But things had a way of changing when her back was turned and here he was.

She looked at him over her shoulder.

“Hmm?” she asked distractedly.

He came to a stop at her side.

“Buffy…”

She really didn’t want to turn and look at him.

But she did against her better judgment.

Looked into his azure eyes and wanted to fall into them, him, she wasn’t sure which was scarier. The fact that she knew he wouldn’t mind or that she was seriously contemplating such a thing.

She if she wanted to could read every emotion in his gaze. Discern them and evaluate them. Use them and have whatever she wanted from him.

She was his life line.

His savior.

She knew that.

Grudgingly accepted it.

And would never use it against him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she muttered as she turned her gaze away. From him and the temptation he offered.

His look could make her forget the important things.

“Like what?” he asked softly a small frown forming.

Like I’m all you’ve got. Like you can’t survive if I’m not here with you…

Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part but she hoped the latter was true.

Now how pathetic was that?

“Like I’m some sort of thing to be worshiped. I’m just human,” she gritted out.

Anger would work well here, she thought. Deflect the impact he was making on her. Hopefully put him on the offensive.

“I know,” was his simple reply.

She sent him a narrowed eyed look.

Did he really understand? She wondered.

“I…I’m only who I am Spike. Nothing more. Nothin less. Human with all the flaws that entitles.”

She was so much more than that.

Could she not see that?

She was no mere mortal and it was up to him to make her realize that.

He took a step forward with his first words.

“You’re more than that. I know you,” he announced and saw her shake her head in denial.

“No you don’t. All we’ve ever done was fight one another. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. We’re mortal enemies.”

“It doesn’t feel that way to me. I don’t want to fight you…”

“Then what do you want?” she managed to get out through a dry mouth.

She knew what he wanted…

Wasn’t sure if it was what she wanted too.

Spike lifted one hand and brushed aside a few stray locks of hair. Cupped her cheek in his hand and smiled gently.

“You can’t love me,” she blurted out desperately.

He couldn’t.

Shouldn’t love her.

His smile turned into a smirk.

“Who said anything about love?” he voiced aloud fingers trailing up and down her cheek. Love was all around her, it was a wonder she couldn’t see it.

Feel it.

Buffy jerked her gaze from his and moved her head slightly so his hand fell away.

“You don’t understand Spike. You don’t remember the way things are between us. We aren’t friends and never will be.”

“You rescued me,” he countered sharply.

To him there was nothing else to talk about. She’d rescued him and that meant something whether she liked to believe it or not.

“Rescued?” she echoed incredulously. “I just came to check things out. There was no rescuing going on! I would have come for anyone.”

“You came because it was me. I know it. I can feel it. I know you can too. Why deny it Buffy? You came for me and now you’re stuck with me.”

“Angel,” his name sprang from her lips like a prayer. Why hadn’t she thought of Angel in all the time she’d been gone? He was a part of her!

Shame settled over her as she realized she’d completely forgotten him in her haste to get here. To help Spike.

She shuddered slightly.

“Who is that?” Spike demanded. He didn’t appreciate the way she spoke the name Angel.

Their eyes met and held.

“My boyfriend,” she lied heart pounding. He was still kinda her boyfriend. In the fact that she’d sent him to hell. And now he was back. So bring forth much angst and end of the world histrionics. Yippee!

He stepped forward until she was pressed against the window pane.

He lowered his head until his mouth was near her ear.

“Is he here?” he asked in a smug whisper.

Buffy jerked and wanted to lie but she was certain he’d know it.

Damn him! Why couldn’t he just leave this alone? She didn’t want him feeling whatever he was towards her.

Not another vampire, she sternly reminded herself.

“Did you tell him you were coming for me? He let you come here alone. Knowing you might be walking into a trap? What kind of man lets his woman do that? He’s not here so he’s irrelevant.”

“No he’s not! I love him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Tall, dark and handsome! He broods and worries and I find all that so attractive. Except there’s the curse and there’s a limit to how close we can get- But hey that’s no reason for me not to love him. Cuz I do! A lot-“

Spike watched her ramble with an expanded sense of hope.

She was trying too hard.

“You love me too,” he murmured smugly.

She stopped mid word and gaped at him.

“No! No I do not! There’s no love for you inside of me! I-“

“There will be,” he assured her as he settled his mouth over hers.

It was quick and over too soon.

A mere brush of his lips over her own.

Buffy felt it all the way to her toes.

She’d barely gotten a taste of him…

For a brief minute she considered dragging him closer and kissing the hell out him. Just to see him lose that smug expression.

That mindless smirk.

There was just enough of the old Spike left that it made her angry.  Angry enough to lift her head and glare at him in defiance.

“Never,” she stated coldly even as she was reaching out.

Angel…

His name was a vague memory.

Irrelevant as Spike had stated.

She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him.

His hands fisted in her hair and he tugged her head back.

It was a hot opened mouth kiss that seemed to go on and on.

He nipped at her bottom lip before his tongue slipped inside to lazily dance against hers.

Wes came awake with a start. He jerked up and blinked looking around wildly.

What had awakened him? He wondered.

Then he heard it.

A slight gasping sound from the corner of the room.

He turned his head and felt his mouth fall open in shock. It was one of the most in appropriate things he had ever seen.

His gaze was drawn from the kissing couple to the baby at his side.

Well not the most in appropriate thing he mused, possible the second.

“Does she not realize she’s a Slayer?” he whispered to the baby. “It’s her job to kill them. Not fall in love with them. I think it’s time to put a stop to it.”

Tate seemed to agree as he opened his mouth and wailed.

“There’s a good boy little Wesley,” Wesley praised with a grin.

“His name’s Tate,” Spike drawled out.

Wesley looked up as he picked Tate up out of his makeshift crib and held him close.

“I still believe Wesley is a much better name,” Wes complained.

Buffy turned her back from the scene.

Wiped at her mouth and groaned silently.

She wasn’t in love with him.

Would never be in love with him.

A new feeling was blooming inside of her. One that wasn’t a happy feeling. It was a sense of doom that very much concerned her.

More than she was willing to admit.

She was certain that before they were out of this, choices would have to be made, and decisions justified.

As confusion and a slight trickle of terror of the unknown filled her she was sure of only one thing.

She was never going to let Maggie Walsh get her hands on Spike or little Tate.

Never.