Chapter Eighteen:

A war of conflicting emotions struggled to settle and bog Spike down. New and dangerous emotions. He wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was half of what Buffy was feeling. He wouldn’t dare to compare his feelings to hers. At least not at the moment.

So he kept his mouth shut and his emotions to himself. He didn’t have much to say as it was. His thoughts were a jumble of violent pictures of ripping Maggie Walsh apart piece by piece. Though it gave him a bit of pleasure to think it, it couldn’t take away the gnawing hole this night had caused to form in the pit of his stomach.

It hadn’t occurred to him, as he’d stalked Riley that Maggie was in the process of killing Buffy’s mother. Stealing his son and making her getaway as free as a bird. If it had… He would have left that bloody fool for the werewolf he’d sensed had been stalking Riley. Instead he’d taken a bit of his revenge and Joyce had died.

His jaw clenched as he thought of finding Buffy down on her knees staring in horrified fascination at her dead mother’s body. It wasn’t just the sight that had caught him off guard, but the thought that he could have saved Joyce. It ate at him. He could have easily followed Joyce’s scent, found her with Maggie and taken care of Maggie and Joyce would still be alive.

He knew it wasn’t rational thinking obviously. Because there was no way he would have been able to save Joyce. For one he didn’t even know his way around town. The wind was blowing scents this way and that. And if he had gone only God knew what Maggie would have done to Tate.

Even if it was irrational it still bothered him that he hadn’t been there to help save his son.

Angel had insisted on calling the police and Spike hadn’t complained, his only thought was to get Buffy to a place where she could rest. She’d exhausted herself screaming and sobbing. She was limp in his arms as he lifted her up. Angel had told him to wait there while he went off and got help.

Screw that.

He stood a moment gathering his thoughts and sense of direction. He closed his eyes a moment, concentrating, past the blood that smeared the streets, past the smell of decaying leaves, sewage, and focused in on the one smell he’d never forget.

He followed Buffy’s scent and soon found himself at her house.

He paused in the middle of the street, tense as his eyes studied the house, flickered to the ones surrounding it, and finally settled on Buffy’s slackened face. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was raspy. He knew her throat must be aching, the way she’d screamed, had scared him beyond words. Now as he inhaled he knew there would be another blow for them both tonight.

His arms tightened around her for a moment, he wondered how much more this fragile girl could take. She felt so small, so breakable in his arms. If he had a heart it would gladly be hers. He loved this girl, beyond thought, beyond reason.

He watched as her eyelids fluttered and her hand curled around a fistful of his shirt.

“You’re home,” was all he said and watched as her eyes snapped open and she made to leave his arms. They tightened around her even more, and he watched her eyes try to focus, knew she couldn’t see what he was seeing.

Was briefly glad for it.

He dropped a kiss onto her forehead before he strode up the walk and to the porch.

It was there he put her down, onto her own feet and watched as she swayed, he reached out and caught her arm. Watched as she realized her front door was open…

No not open.

It had been shattered from its hinges.

She stiffened took in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She took a step forward and Spike followed.

She reached back and flattened a hand against his chest.

“Be careful,” she whispered.

He wanted to tell her not to worry about him. That she was the one who had to be careful now, that things would be okay, but he didn’t. Knowing if he did, the words would only be lies. Nothing would be okay. Not for awhile now. He was damn sure of that. He followed Buffy into her house and winced when she turned on the lights.

They were met by destruction.

Spike couldn’t take his eyes off it. In the foyer, right in the middle of it, stood a huge steeple cross.

He took a step forward towards it.

Buffy stared at the cross for a moment before she turned her attention to the livingroom. Glancing into it she saw another cross, mixed amongst what had once been her livingroom. Now it was a mess of furniture, of broken windows, debris was everywhere.

She took a step into the livingroom.

Spike kept his steps slow as he made his way to the cross. Transfixed, he lifted a hand to touch it, to feel it.

To feel the slow burn that would turn his flesh to ash, the pain would be nothing new. He could feel it now, the burning sensations that zinged through his hand up into his arm, and into the rest of his body.

It was only when Buffy’s small hand closed forcefully around his own, that he realized he wasn’t touching the cross, that his hand hovered mere inches from it. That he’d been remembering the sensations of past experiments Maggie had liked to inflict on him.

He blinked as he met Buffy’s red rimmed eyes.

She stared at him with a small frown on her face.

He felt disconcerted, unfocused, and he knew he had to be the strong one here, for Buffy. She needed him and didn’t need him going off into his own world.

Buffy tugged on his hand until he had moved away from the cross. She pulled him to her side and kept his hand firmly in hers as she took him through the house, avoiding the crosses placed throughout.

He could see how upsetting it was for Buffy, but could do nothing for her. What could he do? Maggie had done this for show, he was sure. I can kill your mother; I can destroy everything and everyone you love. And there was nothing Buffy could do to stop her, nothing Buffy’s vampires’ could do.

Maggie had nearly destroyed him.

And he was afraid she was halfway through destroying Buffy.

Ensuring his destruction along with hers.

~*~

It had always been a silent thought in the back of her mind. That something, someone, would come after her mother. Once she had thought it would be Spike. In fact she’d been so sure she’d been scared half out of her mind when she’d found him in her kitchen with her mother all those months ago.

She’d never revoked his invitation. Angel had suggested, as had Giles that she do so, but her mother had said Spike had been harmless. He’d been moaning over a cup of hot chocolate, about Drusilla leaving him.

Harmless.

A vampire without a soul, one of the worst recorded in history, and her mother had scoffed and called him harmless. Tears threatened to fall as she turned from the livingroom. Her eyes landed on Spike and they widened, before they narrowed, as she moved forward. She grabbed his hand and squeezed.

She couldn’t tell what he was thinking as he turned wide blue eyes to her own. He stared at her a moment and for a split second Buffy had the flash of smirky, evil Spike. The Spike who’d threatened to kill her on Saturday. As soon as the image came it faded and all that was left was her Spike.

This new Spike.

She frowned as she pulled at his hand.

She kept her hand on his as she began the task of checking each room of her house. She’d never thought she’d see the day her house looked like a natural disaster site. Like a tornado had come through, and swept everything that mattered to her to the ground and destroyed it. Everything, anything it seemed they could get their hands on had been broken.

Pictures had been broken from their frames, torn into pieces, and Buffy wondered if Maggie had done this herself. She had the feeling she had. To show her who was boss.

To show Buffy she had control over her now.

It didn’t take long for them to wander their way through the entire house.

Nothing was left.

Nothing.

She wanted to sag and drop to her knees and sob. She wanted to scream and scream. But she’d already done that, and she wasn’t going to give Maggie the satisfaction of doing it again.

Her mother was dead.

Her house was a complete loss.

Her life was in shambles and yet…

The grief that had threatened to consume her was slowly giving away to anger and anger gave away to rage. It was one thing to mess with her; after all she was the Slayer. Trouble came with the name and the job made her enemy number one.

But to take it further. To take it to her family, to actually kill her mother…

Buffy felt her breath begin to quicken as she felt her anger rising and abruptly she let go of Spike’s hand and hurried down the stairs. She stalked to the kitchen and began to go through the mess on the floor.

She was frantic in her search.

She felt Spike at the doorway staring at her, wondering what she was doing.

She felt crazy as she tossed things aside and muttered to herself. She felt gripped by an unseen force that wouldn’t let her go, not until she finished this.

Maggie thought she’d won. Taken everything away from her. That stupid bitch, Buffy thought savagely. She didn’t even know she’d just declared war and there was no way Maggie would survive.

She was going to enjoy killing Maggie Walsh, she thought with a savage baring of her teeth. She gave a grunt of triumph when she found what she wanted.

She went through the house again, Spike at her heels.

She took his hand once again as she led them both out onto the porch. With a flick of her wrist she let the match she’d lit fly. She couldn’t help the grin that flashed as it landed in the foyer and flames erupted.

She stared as the heat of it hit her and she stumbled back.

Spike caught her.

Hefted her up and over his shoulder.

“Put me down,” she gritted out as she struggled.

Spike ignored her and she growled low down in her throat, she began to struggle in earnest now. She bit, she hit, she cried. She watched her house burn and abruptly she went limp.

She could feel it…as the fire spread throughout the house, destroying what Maggie had created. Eating away at everything she held dear.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God.

“Put me down,” she rasped out.

Spike kept on walking.

Buffy’s hands began to shake and her lips quivered as she closed her eyes to ward off the pain that was surging throughout her body.

“Please,” she whispered.

She didn’t notice when he put her down onto her feet, didn’t notice as he cupped her face in his hands. Stared into her eyes and saw death.

“I’ll kill her for you,” he told her peering at her, trying to see if he was getting through to her.

“She’s already dead. She just doesn’t know it,” Buffy told him emotionlessly.

~*~

Since she’d burned her house down there wasn’t another place she felt comfortable going to, except oddly enough the school library. And to get into it she had Spike do a little breaking and entering.

They walked the halls and she told him once again about parent teacher night, the night she’d first fought him. She didn’t know why she was bringing it up, now of all times. She couldn’t have stopped herself even if she’d wanted to. Some force compelled her to speak. And to keep on talking.

“I think you would have killed me,” she said her voice conversational. Calm and almost cheerful. “Except for my Mom coming in when she did. She hit you over the head with an axe. Saved my life. I think you would have killed me,” she repeated.

And she did think that.

She’d never met another vampire like him before. He was impatient, he was cocky, arrogant, a hell of a fighter, and he’d killed Slayers before too. He’d been so in love with Dru, she mused with a little grimace. He would have done anything for Dru.

He would have killed her. There was no doubt in her mind that had her mother not stepped in when she had, Spike would have had another Slayer under his belt.

She turned slightly to look at him, to see him staring at her, a look on his face she didn’t care to describe, or read. She gave him a smile and bumped him with her shoulder.

“C’mon Spike. You’re a vampire and I’m the Slayer. We’re supposed to kill eachother. Not love one another. That’s not supposed to happen. Once was sure as hell enough,” she stated.

She didn’t know what she was saying. Or why she was saying this, all she knew was that she had to keep talking. To keep herself from falling. She had to…

“Did I tell you about Angel? How much I loved him? It was crazy. I couldn’t keep away from my broody vamp. He was like a slow acting drug, I became addicted over time. His secrets. His soul, God it all consumed me. He was it. He was a hero, seeking redemption. He was everything to me.”

She led the way into the library. She glanced around. Taking in the room, seeing it and not seeing it. She saw her mother on the ground, lifeless. She saw Giles standing giving them information on Poglra demon’s and their cousins Grotsa demons.

That day when Dru had first entered her mind.

It was the beginning.

Or maybe the end.

She didn’t have to look at Spike to know he wasn’t taking what she was saying too well.

“But he had one little problem. A problem that became mine. I would never have suspected what it was. You know what?” she turned to face him and watched him turn those burning blue eyes her way.

They latched onto hers and she took a step closer.

“No, what?” Spike asked coldly.

“He can’t handle sex. Makes him too happy. Loses his soul and ends up killing innocent people. His alter ego Angelus. That’s his problem. Sex plus happiness equals: Angelus. But see, I still loved him, I couldn’t help myself. It crawled around inside of me, slithered into my brain, ate away at my heart, and while he destroyed I looked the other way. Until I finally came to my senses and stuck a sword into his gut and sent his sorry ass to hell.”

She circled the room, trailed her hand along the table top and watched Spike watch her.

“He made me lie to my friends and I let people die because I loved him. I loved him. Probably still do. Then,” she paused for a moment as she shoved a hand through her hair. Ran the tip of her tongue along her lips. “There’s you. William the Bloody. Well I hated you. And see that’s why this is so confusing to me. I hated you. Even when I envied Dru because of your devotion to her. You weren’t supposed to be a part of my life, but you crept in. How? Why? Why?”

She stared at him and really wanted to know. Why had he become such a big part of her life? What had possessed her to let him in? To open herself up for a world of pain.

“Maybe it happened before Dru wiggled her way into my head. Maybe I knew… Maybe it was always there. Who knows? She asked for my help and I came. I came and it all began.” She flung out an arm, sweeping books off the counter and in a fit of rage she tossed the table aside. “All of this began! Dru, you, Maggie, Tate! Everything was fine; everything was fine until you came back. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did I- why did I let this happen? I could have easily stopped this. I could have ignored Dru’s’ call. I could have stayed here. With Angel. My Mom would still be alive. If Angel and I-“

She shook her head and tried to focus on what she was saying.

“If Angel and I- if we were still together. Things would be okay. Me and Angel-“

“Are through,” Spike snarled as he stalked towards her.

Buffy frowned.

“No. No,” she mumbled. “It’s not. It could still work out. Things would go back to normal. Things would go back. I know it would. Things would be normal.” They had to be. She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle this new life of hers. Before…with Angel her life had been sane. It had held comfort and love. Safety.

Oh God, what had she done? She wondered guiltily.

Spike kept striding closer until he had bumped her body back into the counter, and he reached out capturing her chin in his hand.

“And you think I’d let that happen Buffy?” he asked carefully. “That I would actually stand by and let you be with that pillock? You two will never be together. Never. I’d kill him and you before I let that happen. You think I don’t know what you’re doing saying all these things? You want me mad, well I’m mad. What are you going to do about it? You wanna fight me? You want me to kill you luv? You wanna kill me?! Make it so I never existed. Go ahead. If I could I would take your pain away, I’d bring back your Mum, and kill Maggie before she had a chance to harm her. But I can’t. I don’t know what I can do for you Buffy,” he told her his voice growing thick with emotion.

She stared at him.

She wanted to strike out, hit him. Make him feel what she was feeling, she wanted it to stop. All of it. She wanted him out of her face and away from her most of all.

She wanted him close. She wanted to drown in the deep depths of his eyes. She wanted oblivion in his arms. She wanted to surrender to this need that clawed its way through her. She wanted to smooth her fingers over his sculpted cheeks, part his lips with her tongue and delve in. To taste his strength, his courage… His love.

Maybe…she could drown in it, the sensations she knew it would cause, the heat, the desire. Unable to stop herself she leaned forward, her hands lifted.

One taste and she could fall…

“Get away from me,” she told him abruptly. She started to push him aside.

He dropped her chin and gripped her arms.

“Why? I know you blame me Buffy,” he told her. He smirked a little as he leaned in closer. “You love me and you hate it. I can see it. I wonder how Angel feels about that. Precious Angel and his cursed soul. He’d never have allowed Joyce to die would he? Or-wait, maybe he would have. Angel would have done the job himself,” he growled as she shoved him back.

“Shut up,” she muttered running her hands up and down her arms.

She felt so cold.

“If it hadn’t been for me Joyce would still be alive. Don’t think I don’t know that. I do. Got it burned into my brain. Hell half the things that have gone on wouldn’t have happened if I’d only stayed away from you. Away from this bloody town!”

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to ignore him.

“Say it. Tell me how this is all my fault,” he snarled out shaking her and forcing her to look at him. “Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it!”

She pushed him aside.

“Damn you! Why couldn’t you stay away from me?! Why did you make me fall in love with you? I- I didn’t want that. I don’t want this--not with you! I can’t do this, not again. Not with another vampire--Don’t--d-don’t touch me,” she warned him as he reached out.

He ignored her warning and wrapped her in his arms.

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair and held her tight. “I’ll never let you go.”

“That’s not a comforting thought,” she told him even as she tried to resist the comfort he was offering. She had known deep down that loving him would cause her more pain than she could have ever imagined.

Now faced with that reality his words only strengthened her resolve.

She couldn’t be with him.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

“It wasn’t meant to be,” he stated. “It’s a fact. You’re stuck with me.”

“It would be so much easier if I hated you,” she whispered as she lifted her arms and wrapped them around him. Why couldn’t she go back in time and hate him again? Why? Why had things turned out like this?

“But you don’t.”

“But I don’t,” she acknowledged.

~*~

It had been Buffy’s idea that they start looking for her friends. That they should head to the hospital for starters and check in on Angel. She’d made it an order rather than a request.

He hadn’t protested.

He’d seen her frantic need to escape what was happening and why. He’d watched as she had set her home on fire, had watched it begin to burn. He’d watched her try and persuade herself that everything would be so much better if only she had remained here. It didn’t help to know that she was probably right.

That if she had remained away from him things for her at least, would have remained sane. Now…now she had a life in ruins and it could be put squarely on his shoulders. As he had no doubt her Watcher and Angel were doing. They’d tell her he was no good and that he’d brought her too much pain already.

That she should send him away or better yet let them kill him.

“… you think she killed them too?” Buffy was saying.

He sent her a glance and then turned his gaze back to the street. Stretched his senses for any sign of Maggie’s men. It was still dangerous to be out and about. They still had no idea what had actually happened here.

“I think…” he hesitated saying the rest. But he couldn’t sugar coat this and let her have any delusions. “I think she killed your Mum on the spur of the moment. She’d probably come back from taking care of your house. I doubt she had time to kill your friends,” he told her bluntly.

She paused in their walk and turned to fully face him. Her hair whipped about her face as the wind blew, Spike reached out and smoothed it away, tucked a few strands behind her ear.

“You really think she killed my Mom just for the hell of it?” she demanded. She seemed unable to accept that. He figured to her, loving her Mum like she did, it would be impossible for a person to kill for the hell of it.

Spike kept his face averted as he dropped his hand from her cheek.

“You don’t know her like I do. Anything’s possible with her Buffy. This has just begun,” he muttered. “She’s not through with me. And she’s damn well not through with you! She wants to control us. She already does.”

Buffy shook her head.

“No she doesn’t,” she denied.

“Doesn’t she?” Spike turned and finally met her eyes. “She has my son. Which means half of my attention is devoted to him. My other half is devoted to you. I’m torn straight down the middle here luv! She didn’t kill Joyce for fun--well that’s not entirely true. I think she enjoyed it but she did it for a reason. She wanted you and I distracted enough so that she could leave. Leave with my son and I’d let her go.”

“What are you saying? You’re here because of me? Listen to me: I don’t need you here with me,” she snapped angrily walking off. Spike eyed her for a moment before he followed after her.

Anger wasn’t something he wanted to give into at the moment. But he’d be damned if she thought she could toss him aside like that. She needed him and she bloody well knew it.

“No you listen to me,” he told her. “I’m here because I want to be. Now if things had turned out a little differently and your Mum was alive then…then I’d have left. And taken you with me. But as things stand right now it’s not an option. I know that. What I was saying was that Maggie knows all this. She kno-“

“I don’t care what she knows. In fact that’s one more reason why you should leave,” she said firmly.

Spike felt his whole body stiffen. He couldn’t have heard her right, he thought bleakly. She hadn’t just told him he should leave. Leave her here alone. To be with Angel.

His stomach clenched in the sick realization of just where Buffy’s thoughts were headed. He shook his head and when he spoke he could barely get out the word.

“What?” he breathed out.

“I think you should leave. No actually I know you should leave. There’s nothing here for you.” She paused, and then anticipating his argument, shook her head. “Except me and well…that’s not going to happen. At least not anytime soon. I have too much to handle here. I have to…um…” her voice trailed off.

And Spike assumed she was trying to come up with a suitable lie to tell him.

“Why are you trying to push me away? First in the library and now this. All I want to do is help you. I want to fix this. I can fix this. I know I can. But I need you beside me for that to happen. I can’t have you shutting me out. I won’t allow that.”

“You won’t allow it?” she hissed out. “What is this? Why is this all about you? What about what I want? What I need?” she cried out. “I want you gone! I need you gone!”

“I suppose you want for me to go away. Far away so you can wallow in your grief and self pity. Where you can blame yourself and your little friends can delude themselves into thinking you’re fine. Then you would have Angel on hand too, at your beck and call. Have your bloody perfect relationship--except no sex. But that’s okay because you’ve got the greatest love in the whole bloody fucking world!” His laugh when it came was deep and full of bitterness.

Buffy laughed too.

It was either that or sob.

“Yeah we do,” she nodded in total agreement. “He treats me like…he treats me li-“

“A child. Don’t give me that spiel about your little Romeo and Juliet romance. It’s over and the sooner that poof gets that, the better off we’ll all be.”

He watched as she blanched and felt no satisfaction in his words. It was true though and the sooner everyone understood that, the easier it would be all around. Angel had to go. Period. He would be a constant reminder about the past.

So are you, a little voice in his mind whispered. She’ll look at you and blame you.

Spike clenched his jaw and tried to ignore it.

He was being selfish, he knew it, but didn’t give a damn. He hadn’t spent all those months locked up in a cage just to have her push him away, and take away the only chance of happiness they both had.

He needed her to get all of her anger out. He needed to let her rant and rave and let go. He’d be there to catch her when she fell. He hadn’t wanted to push her but he knew her. Despite what she might like to think, he knew her.

She’d bury this so deep that when it burst out it wouldn’t be pretty or even healthy.

“I suppose this is what you think your Mum would want huh? To let you spend your life running away. Pushing the people who love you most, away? I never thought…I never thought I’d see the day you’d let your fear lead you.”

He shook his head in disappointment.

Buffy stared at him in shock.

“What are you talking about? Fear? I don’t-I’m not afraid! Just because I don’t want to be with you doesn’t make me a coward! All I want is for you to go away. So that I can repair things between me and my friends. Do you have any idea what this is going to do to them? To Giles? He can’t stand to look at me as it is how do you think he’ll react to my Mom’s death?! He’ll blame me. My friends will blame me Spike. It’s not like it’d be wrong of them, because hell it’s the truth! I left her and them to go and play rescue ranger. I’m the Slayer! I have a job and I-“

“What about the other Slayer? There are two of you. She was here. Why didn’t she protect your Mum? Why didn’t Angel stay and take care of her? Why didn’t your Watcher? They left too! They didn’t have to but they did. Tell me why? Did you ask them to leave too? To come and rescue you? Seems to me your Mum was a grown woman and knew what she was doing. She wasn’t blind; she must have realized the risks. It’s easy to see why you’d blame yourself but it’s not your fault she’s dead.”

“No it’s Maggie’s fault,” Buffy finally said after a bit. “I just…I don’t know what to do. All I know is that you have to go. It’s not about me or you. It’s about Tate. He’s just a baby. He can’t protect himself and he’s at Maggie’s mercy. She’s crazy. We’ve established that and I-I can’t let you stay here looking after me while she has your son. It wouldn’t be right.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her she was wrong. That he could be here for her and look for Tate too. But he knew it would be untrue. He couldn’t do both. It was either one or the other.

“Buffy…” he began in a pained whisper.

“That wasn’t a suggestion Spike,” she told him sending him a steely eyed look.

“It’s not that easy,” Spike snapped. “I can’t just walk away from you. Not now! Not while you’re going through this. You need me and dammit I need you.”

Before he could stop himself he reached out and tugged her to him. He slipped a hand into her hair and lowered his head, close enough now that when he inhaled he soaked up her very essence.

He lifted his other hand and let his fingers slide down the side of her face, to the underside of her jaw. He whispered her name as his lips brushed hers, his fingers sliding a torturous path down her neck.

He could feel her heart pounding, echoing loudly in his ears, the rush of blood as it flowed through her veins. The quickening of her breathing as he kissed along her smooth jaw line.

“Don’t send me away,” he whispered as he nipped a path down her throat.

Buffy’s breath came out in a little hiss as he bit down, her fingers clenched on his forearms in reaction to the jittery excitement it sent through her.

“I’m not-“she began her voice breathless. “You have-don’t make this harder.”

A low rumble emerged from his throat in response, and he smiled against her skin.

“Stop me then.”

She reached up and pulled his face from her neck and peered into his eyes. He wasn’t sure what she saw exactly. All he knew was that a look he couldn’t understand passed over her features; before she pulled his head back down and met his lips with her own.

His hand clenched in her hair as she parted her lips and let her tongue dance across his bottom lip, she bit down just hard enough that a growl threatened to rise. He parted his lips and let his Slayer have her way. Her tongue slid between his teeth and was met by his own.

The taste of her exploded inside his brain as he watched her eyes darken as the kiss deepened. She was sweet, like a peach, as wild as the wind that whipped around them.

She tasted like life.

She tasted like his soul.

He groaned as he released her hair and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer and tilted his head slightly, taking control of the kiss, his tongue battled with hers in an erotic rhythm that matched the beat of her heart.

“Spike,” she sighed his name as she broke the kiss gasping for air. “Spike…”

He kissed her again.

“I love you,” she told him against his now warmed lips.

Everything was going to fine, he realized then. As his hands roamed over her body, as his lips devoured her, he knew things would work out between them.

She loved him.

He loved her.

“Spike,” she said his name again, and through his passion fogged brain it registered. The tone was the same only not. He lifted his head and stared into her glassy eyes.

His stomach clenched in response to the look in them.

“Buffy…” he began his voice laced with lingering passion and concern.

“Help me,” she breathed as she lifted a hand and let it fall limp to her side as her whole body stiffened.

Spike’s arms tightened around her and he shook her as he listened to the beat of her heart thin and slow.

“Buffy!!!”

Her body seized up and jerked knocking both of them off their feet. Spike managed to maneuver himself so she fell onto him instead of beneath him.

Her body bucked and convulsed.

Spike’s hands ran frantically over her body as he lay her down.

“Buffy, please, what’s wrong with you?!” he yelled trying to hold her down.

He watched in terror as her mouth opened on a silent scream.

“Help me,” he whispered the words. Then raising his head he screamed them. “HELP ME! Some one help me! Help me.”

Terror swept through him like a tidal wave and his mind barely functioned as he tried to stop Buffy from causing herself any harm. He didn’t know what to do for her, he didn’t know whether or not to run and find her help himself or-

He barely noticed when the voices began to speak to him. Telling him an ambulance was on its way, and that he had to put something in Buffy’s mouth to keep her from swallowing her tongue.

On automatic he did as he was told.

And when her body abruptly went limp in his arms and her pulse slowed and her heart tripped in her chest, he tilted back his head and howled in rage and sorrow.

He wasn’t letting Maggie take Buffy away from him too.

She was his Slayer and he wasn’t going to allow her to die.

Not now.

Not ever.

Chapter Nineteen:

Faith slid a thoughtful look over at Angel. She wasn’t sure the big brood machine was in his right mind. The way he’d gone off, ranting and raving about Spike, she wasn’t sure she could take what he said to heart.

She got that he was jealous. Wanted to be the only vamp in B’s bed but still… If what he said was true and B was in love with Spike she wouldn’t appreciate Faith killing him. With a little help from Angel. So she wasn’t sure what she was going to do at the moment.

Angel had almost dragged her from the hospital to go find Spike. He was sure Spike had taken Buffy away, even left town to keep him from her. While she could believe Spike might be a danger she couldn’t quite believe that B had lost her freakin’ mind, and let Spike take her from town, not when her mom had just died. That just didn’t make any sense.

“What?” Angel finally asked without looking at her. He kept his intense gaze focused on the street, and stretching his senses to find any trace of Buffy.

“Listen I know you’re all hell bent on making this out to be B as the damsel in distress but… I don’t see her complain’. In fact I don’t see her period. I think we should go back to the-”Faith began with a slight shrug, her voice level and cool.

“Did I ask for your opinion?” Angel snarled as he whirled to face her. He glared down at her, his anger getting the better of him. With a consorted effort he swallowed his anger and ran a hand over his face. He tried to rein in the whirlwind of emotions raging inside of him. He couldn’t lose control. He wouldn’t allow that to happen, not when he had to find Buffy.

Taking a deep breath he shook his head.

Faith glared right back at him and bit her tongue to keep from snapping back. It wouldn’t do to tick brood boy off anymore. She didn’t know what he was feeling and was glad for it. It seemed where he and Buffy were concerned pain came with the name of the game. Whether they were in love or not, they always seemed to be on the brink of disaster.

She knew for sure she wouldn’t have been able to live her life like that.

“Listen Angel. We’re both on edge right now. I get that you wanna find B, but did you ever stop to think, that maybe she doesn’t want to be found? That she just wants to be alone for awhile?” Faith asked curiously.

Angel shook his head again.

He had thought of that and just the thought of it sickened him.

“Alone with Spike you mean?” he asked then. He didn’t bother letting Faith answer. “I thought of that but I can’t… I need to find her so I can show her that I will be there for her. No matter what. It makes me sick that she thinks Spike loves her.”

He left it at that as he stalked off. He didn’t want to think about that. About them being together right now, what they might be doing. Grief and sex usually went hand in hand, he thought bitterly. He barely stopped himself from vamping out at the image he had of Spike and Buffy. All tangled limbs and whispered moans of pleasure.

“No good,” he muttered to himself as he clenched his hands into fists. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. He had no idea what Buffy was feeling at the moment. Unlike her he hadn’t had a great relationship with his parents, hence their deaths by his hands.

Though it had been a long time ago he would never forget it. The feeling of power he’d had, the sick rush of pleasure that had filled him as he and Darla had sex amongst his family’s death bodies. Looking back he wished he had some kind of control, anything to make him take a step back and see how wrong it was.

Grimacing a little he shoved back thoughts of the past and focused on finding Buffy. He inhaled deeply and stiffened when he caught the scent of smoke.

Pausing he tried to figure out which way it had come. He jerked his head up and peered into the night. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach…

“What’s up Fido?” Faith asked with a slight smirk. She glanced around looking to see if there was something out there of interest to Angel.

When she saw nothing but houses and cars she frowned.

“Come on,” Angel said abruptly going with his gut, he broke into a run.

Faith stared at his fast retreating back for a moment before she forced herself into motion running off after him. Whatever had caught his attention she was sure it had to be important. She caught up with him easily enough and kept pace with him as he raced through the streets, headed for Revello Drive.

Up a head as they rounded the corner onto Revello she heard the sirens and they reached the street at last. She’d smelt the smoke as they’d run…but it hadn’t occurred to her that it could have been Buffy’s house.

With a quick curse she skidded to a halt a few houses down from what was left of Buffy’s house. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Shaking her head she tried to catch her breath enough to say something, ask something. But all she could do was take deep breaths of the putrid air and hope Buffy hadn’t been in there.

Angel whisked past Faith headed straight for Buffy’s house. His senses were overwhelmed with what he saw, the flames that had yet to be put out, the arid taste of smoke on his tongue. The feelings that were thrumming through him as he brought his hands up and into his hair.

“Buffy,” he whispered it as he swallowed hard. This was Buffy’s house and it was literally burning to the ground, and he didn’t know where she was! She could be in there. He shook his head. No she wasn’t in there, he told himself. She probably went to the hospital to meet him there and say goodbye to Joyce.

Right, a little voice in his head drawled, she went to the hospital because she was thinking rationally in the state she was in. She would of course head off to the hospital and bring Spike along with her. Right.

“She’s not-” Angel began but then realized how ridiculous his thoughts were. He knew Buffy and she hated hospitals and he knew Spike. They would have headed some place Buffy felt comfortable at.

Here. They would have headed here.

He moved without thought as he charged his way past the barricade, past the police barrier, past the fire trucks and fire men. He wasn’t thinking when he raced towards the house.

“Buffy!” He screamed. She was in there, he just knew it. Somehow she’d been trapped in there and Maggie had set fire to the house, and even now Buffy could be burning to death. “Buffy!”

Faith’s head jerked up at the sound of Angel screaming and with a start she saw his blurred movement as he raced for the burning structure. Sighing she prepared to stop him. She wasn’t sure if she should. Maybe Buffy was in the house and was even now dead, she thought. But wouldn’t I have felt it? She wondered. They were connected in a way most people couldn’t understand and she just had the vague sense that if B had died she would have felt it all the way to her bones.

So with budding anger and trepidation leading the way she raced after Angel, and managed with a flying leap, to tackle him to the ground within inches of the burning house.

She felt the intense heat, suffocating as it seemed to surround them. She tried to breathe normally but it was too hard and with panting breath she managed to wrap her arms around a still screaming Angel and drag him away.

“Stop it Angel,” Faith yelled as she tossed him from her when they were a good bit away. “Don’t you think I would know if Buffy were dead?” she asked as she bent over, her hands pressed to her knees as she fought to catch her breath.

Angel lay sprawled on the ground, his face flaking where his face had been slightly burned from the heat of the flames. He let his eyes focus on the house.

“She could be in there,” he told Faith as he ignored her words. He made to get back up and make his way into the house again. Faith moved in the blink of an eye and planted her foot on his throat.

“One wrong move and I crush your throat,” she rasped out.

“Oh no! No what happened here?” Willow’s voice broke the stare off Faith and Angel were intent on. Faith lifted her gaze and frowned when she spotted Willow and Xander.

“What are you doing here? Xander you should be in bed! Look guys-”

“Was Buffy in there?” Xander asked his voice hushed. “Did Maggie do this?”

Faith reluctantly lifted her foot and moved towards Xander.

“Listen we don’t know what happened. I would know if Buffy were dead,” she reassured them even as she doubted the words she spoke.

Angel slowly got to his feet.

Willow edged closer to him.

“How did Buffy react when she found out about Joyce? She does know right?” she asked carefully, biting her bottom lip in worry.

Angel stared at the dancing flames as they ate at what was left of Buffy’s life.

“She broke, Willow,” he said his voice flat and hollow. “She broke.”

“What hell was that you were trying to pull? You could have gotten yourself killed, or worse one of my men killed,” a loud and booming voice stated from Angel’s right and he turned slowly.

“He thought his girlfriend was in there. Do you…know if anyone was in there?” Faith demanded.

The large fire chief stared at her through narrowed eyes and abruptly he blew out a breath.

“This house belongs to Joyce Summers right?” he asked. “You all acted as if you knew the person who lived here. Well tonight we’ve had a series of incidents. In fact and I’m sorry to have to tell you this, it seems that Joyce Summers was murdered earlier tonight,” he paused to gauge their reactions. When they didn’t look surprised he gave a short shrug and continued, “As it is there was also an explosion at the college and lastly the woman, Joyce, her daughter was brought into the hospital in the midst of a seizure. So to answer your question everyone who’s supposed to live here is accounted for.”

“She’s in the hospital?” Xander asked confused.

“This isn’t good. We’ve got to go find her. Come on Xander you have to get back to the hospital too. Angel did you hear what he just told us?” Willow asked softly as she reached out and touched his leather clad arm.

Angel nodded woodenly.

Faith wrapped an arm around Xander’s waist as he began to sway.

“Thanks for the info let’s go boys and girls,” Faith said and moved away with Xander at her side.

Willow hesitated a moment her eyes were drawn to the fire, then to Angel, and finally she turned and hurried after Faith and Xander.

Angel stood for a long moment his gaze unfocused and his body still. His thoughts were bleak and too dark for words. He lowered his eyes and with an abrupt movement he turned and stalked off.

Someone had to pay for this.

Someone had to die for this.

That someone had a name.

It just happened to be Spike.

~*~

Love amongst the roses. Love amongst the…bloody and torn remains of a human body…

Oz couldn’t even force himself to move as he emptied his stomach of its contents. Of what he had the disturbing knowledge of knowing, were bits and pieces of a human being.

He was limp and languid as he struggled to rise, to at least lift his head high enough so that when he felt the need to vomit he didn’t do it on himself again. But it was no use he felt completely wasted, like he had been hollowed out from the inside.

His head dirty with mud and leaves, and his face smeared with blood, dropped back onto the ground. He lifted a dirty hand to wipe at his mouth before he could stop himself.

“What did I do?” he wondered aloud as he stared at his hands, caked in dried blood and trembling with emotions he fought desperately to suppress.

Frowning as the images came, disjointed and confusing, sweeping through his mind like a hurricane, leaving only destruction in its wake.

Swallowing past the bile he managed with an effort to get to his knees and push himself up with the help of a nearby tree. Unsteady and weaving with dizziness he leaned against the tree and took slow even breaths.

With his emotions banked and a sudden cold detachment in his green eyes, he let them trail over his surroundings. Through the thicket of trees that surrounded him, to the slivers of moon beams that leapt out through the canopy of trees in various spots. His nose caught the scents of animals, of men, of himself.

He fought the urge to sniff, to inhale the intoxicating scent of human remains any more than he had to. Grimly he let his eyes lower to the littered pine needled ground. To the trail of flesh and blood, and abruptly his mouth watered.

This time not in response to his need to heave, but in hunger and anticipation.

Disgusted with himself Oz closed his eyes and tried to remind himself that he was a man, not some wild dog on the loose. He couldn’t quite let himself contemplate what this meant for him, what it meant for him and Willow. If he thought about that, then he would have to inevitably think about the person he’d consumed last night. And there was no way he could think about that.

Not now.

He stumbled as he pushed himself from the tree he’d been leaning against. When he felt steady enough he turned his back on the carnage and began the slow process of finding his way home.

He was terrified as he realized he didn’t know where that was anymore.

~*~

“I…I just can’t believe this,” Giles muttered. He had listened to Rowan tell him why Wesley had been involved with his Slayer. About the baby that belonged to Spike and Drusilla.

All of it became a mush of confusing facts in his head as he struggled to understand everything. Nothing was making sense and he wasn't sure it ever would. At least not anymore.

It seemed his Slayer had dug herself into a hole he was not sure she could get herself out of.

Or if he had the strength to help her through this. Because he knew he could not possibly handle another vampire boyfriend.

Rowan sent him a narrow eyed look from beneath her lashes.

“Well believe it old man! I told you there were things you knew nothing about. So you see how this isn’t all about Buffy and her beau any longer. It has a bigger purpose. Think of what Maggie could do with all the children she can create with a Slayer and one of her vampire consorts. It would be astronomical.”

Giles ran a hand over his face as he removed his glasses. He studied the pale green hospital floor and tried to process these new and highly disturbing facts. He wondered why Buffy hadn’t thought to mention this to him or Angel. It was something that he had a right to know about.

To him it was just one more thing to add to the growing list of reasons to be very upset and disappointed in Buffy. Her actions of late had left quite a bit to be desired. He shook his head; he had hoped he would be a better influence on her over time. After all they’d gone through with Angelus and her lying about Angel’s return earlier this year… He hadn’t expected another secret to creep up and drive a wedge between them once again.

How wrong he had been.

“Now don’t go pouty on me Watcher. I think it’s about time you realized your Slayer needs all the help she can get. She needs you to help protect not only her but Spike and Tate as well. I think a-“

Giles lifted tired eyes to Rowan’s.

“I don’t particularly care what you think. I’ve only just met you and as far as I can tell I was better off having never laid eyes on you. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to make a few phone calls.”

Giles rose stiffly from his hard and uncomfortable chair.

“You’re making a mistake,” Rowan’s voice followed him. “Mark my words. If you use this as a means to an end and serve the ties that bind you to the Slayer, you will regret it. She’s in need of aid, any and everything she can get. I only hope you’re man enough to stand beside her.”

Giles gritted his teeth and slowly turned to face the wild haired woman. His eyes usually mild and often more than not bemused now held the coldness of lessons learned far too late. When he spoke his voice held the harsh clip of a man pushed to the very edge.

“I was once man enough to love a woman, with my entire being, to feel such a depth of emotions it nearly overwhelmed me. I was foolish enough to believe Buffy could handle things herself - for that I have to my utter disgust and despair to live with my loved one’s blood on my hands- I was wrong about Buffy. I won’t make that mistake again. She’s broken whatever pieces we’d managed to salvage.”

With that said he turned on his heel and strode off.

Though his words had been cold and unfeeling, he felt them, echoing and resonating inside his brain as he strode off. He ached with the possibility of cutting all ties with Buffy. But there was only so much a man could take. Having the love of his life ripped from him, by none other than his Slayer’s vampire boyfriend wasn’t something he could simply let go of.

Oh, he had tried for Buffy’s sake. But it was still there, the lingering hatred, the thirst for vengeance.

Slowly but surely eating away at his soul.

Swallowing hard he made his way towards the emergency room and the exit for a little breathing room. He needed space to get his head figured out. There were too many things crowding around to make much sense of things.

Head bent low to dispel any attempt of strangers trying to speak to him he hurried along. The faster he was out of here the better.

As far away from Rowan even better.

The automatic doors to the entrance opened as he stepped in front of them, and he’d taken no more than a step when he had to jump aside as paramedics rolling a stretcher came swiftly through the doors.

“This is the seizure victim we called in!” One of them announced.

Giles wouldn’t have bothered to pay them any heed had he not from the corner of his eye, spotted the dirty and disheveled Spike running along side the stretcher.

Fear gripped Rupert by the throat and he gritted his teeth together, and willed himself to calm down as he turned fully and forced himself to move. Slowly at first, as if his legs weren’t quite in tune with his mind, then faster as fear came back with a vengeance, and he began to run.

“Where-” he began as he grabbed the first person he could. He couldn’t speak as fear became terror as he heard Spike’s distinct voice yelling. He shoved the orderly away from him and followed the fear filled tones of Buffy’s once mortal enemy.

Praying he hadn’t lost out on the chance to say just one kind word to his Slayer.

~*~

He’d heard words similar to the ones being said before, and knew things were not going well. Spike tried to keep from snatching Buffy from the grasps of the doctors and running off with her. He knew she would be better off with him than here.

Besides she hated hospitals. She wouldn’t want to stay here anyway.

He forced down his panic and focused on the words.

Her blood pressure was dropping, her heart was slowing. He was shoved aside as people came rushing into the cramped space. One of them brought a cart of some kind and lifted paddles.

He tensed when he heard Buffy’s heart slow even more and abruptly stop.

“Buffy,” he screamed and rushed to her side, shoving people out of the way. He reached out and gripped her shoulders. “Buffy!!! Buffy you can’t die! Buffy-“

“Sir you need to move out of the way,” one of the nurses said as she began to shove him aside once more. He resisted murmuring to Buffy. Knowing she could hear him, she had to hear him!

“Move,” a doctor ordered and with the combined effort of a few more people they managed to pry him away from Buffy and proceeded to place the paddles over her chest.

A chest he dimly realized was bare except for her bra.

He watched as they shocked her and felt helpless. There wasn’t a thing he could do, even though everything in him was screaming for him to grab Buffy. Grab her and run. He could turn her and she would be his for all eternity.

He frowned fiercely and abruptly as that thought entered his mind. He shook it away and clenched his hands into fists as they shocked Buffy again. His body jerked as he began to hear the thin thump of her heart as it started once more.

“Buffy… That’s it Buffy you have got to come back to me,” he told her urgently. He barely heard what was said by the doctors as they moved to and fro, he kept his gaze locked on Buffy’s pale face, and when some one tapped him on the shoulder, he whirled his face a mask of grief and rage.

The doctor stood his ground although Spike could smell the sweet scent of fear.

“Can you tell us what happened?” he asked.

Buffy was being led away from the trauma room and Spike turned to follow.

“I don’t know what happened. One minute she was fine, then the next she was on the ground convulsing,” Spike managed to get out as he hurried after Buffy.

Some one asked him another question and he couldn’t pull his attention away from Buffy long enough to answer. They boarded the elevator and Spike barely managed to slip onto it. As the doors began to close he lifted his gaze abruptly and met the furious blue of Giles’s as he raced down the hall towards the elevator.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Giles screamed just as the doors slid shut.

Spike reached out and snatched Buffy’s limp hand in his and squeezed it. He could feel the thin beat of her heart through her skin and allowed himself to release a bit of the tension inside of him.

He couldn’t lose Buffy; he didn’t know what he would do if that were to ever happen. A shudder passed through him as he closed his eyes again, trying to dispel the sight of Buffy’s cold and lifeless body from his minds eye. He didn’t know what was wrong with her but he would find out.

And he would fix it.

~*~

“I must have a phone,” Wesley muttered irritably as he squinted at the nurse who was taking his blood pressure. Where were his bloody glasses at?

“Well you won’t be getting one anytime soon, sir. In fact that’s the last thing you need.”

“Please you don’t understand. I need to get in touch with my…family. They will be worried and I have to reassure them that I’m fine. In fact I think I should do that in person. I have to speak to them in person,” Wesley swung his legs over the side of his bed and winced when pain swamped him.

“See?” the nurse asked dryly as she gently pushed him back down. “You are in no shape to go anywhere. Give me the number and I’ll call your family. Is that better?”

Reluctantly Wes gave a grudging yes. He gave her the number and Joyce’s name. Saw her briefly hesitate, her pen pressing into the pad in her hand.

“What is it?” Wes asked tentatively.

The nurse sent him a quick look and seemed to ponder whether or not to say anything. As she came to a decision she gave a huge sigh and spoke.

“We had a woman brought in…her name was Joyce Summers and she was DOA.”

Wesley frowned.

“What?” he asked confused his head pounding frantically. He raised a hand and rubbed at his forehead absently.

“Dead on arrival. I’m sorry but it seems she was murdered,” the nurse murmured quickly. She finished checking his pulse and blood pressure before she gave him her condolences and left.

In shock Wes slumped back against his pillows and closed his eyes.

It seemed Maggie had managed to win even after all they’d done to stop her. He ached with the knowledge that she’d taken Tate from him, and that he had let down Spike and most of all Buffy. They had trusted him to keep the baby safe and he’d failed.

He was nothing but a failure, he mused sadly.

He could make this right; the sudden thought had him blinking his eyes open and staring off into space. He had the inkling of an idea but he wasn’t sure…

Narrowing his eyes he thought for a moment and soon he swung his legs back over the side of his bed and despite his aching head he rose to his feet. Muttering about his paper gown and its open backside he made his way to the door just as it opened.

He gave an unmanly yelp as his eyes focused on the old woman who stood there. With wild white hair, a wrinkled and weathered face, with twinkling blue eyes peeking out at him. She was dressed in a baggy dress and had on only one boot.

Which was odd, he thought dimly until his eyes settled on her other foot and saw the reason why.

“You have a frog leg,” he muttered inanely.

Rowan grinned.

“Indeed I do. You’d be Wesley then?”

He nodded then winced as his head swam.

“Excuse me but who are you?” he asked leaning against the wall as dizziness returned.

“Oh forgive me. I’m Rowan and we have mutual friends in common. Namely Spike and Buffy. I was the one that brought you here. But it doesn’t seem that we were in time though does it?”

“I think…” he hesitated not knowing if he should trust this woman who had a frog leg. But thinking of his plan he knew he needed all the help he could get. “I think I could use your help. You see I have a plan….of sorts.”

Cocking a brow Rowan looked at him curiously.

“Well then lad, I’m all ears.”

~*~

Buffy was moved into a room and put under observation. The doctors had mentioned that the amount of time her heart had stopped wasn’t long enough to cause too much damage. But they warned that if another should occur the risks were much higher that due to lack of oxygen she could become brain damaged.

Spike took in all this without a word. And when they asked what his relationship was with Buffy, his answer was succinct and to the point.

“She’s mine,” was all he said.

That was for the moment it seemed enough for them, and soon he was bombarded with a pile of paper work, and at last an empty room. He tossed the paper work and edged closer to the bed.

“Buffy…” he whispered. He leaned down and cupped her cheek in his palm. He left it there a moment before he grabbed the nearest chair and dragged it to the bed. He took a seat and took her hand in his. “Wake up. I need you to wake up. We can fix this together-”

“Really?”

Spike didn’t react to Giles’s cold voice from the doorway. He had expected the Watcher and wasn’t surprised that he was here now, his voice so cold and remote.

Spike figured Giles would blame this on him and half of him believed he should be blamed. Whatever had happened to Buffy wasn’t something natural, he was certain of that.

“‘We can fix this together.’” Giles let his mocking voice rise slightly as he stepped fully into the room and crossed his arms over his chest. He stared at Spike as he continued to ignore him. Anger and a certain bitterness twisted Giles's mouth and he resisted the urge to growl like an animal.

“You explain this to me. What did you do to her, you bloody evil fiend?” Giles gritted out as he moved forward.

Spike’s fingers tightened around Buffy’s as he leaned forward and brushed his lips across her brow. He wasn’t concerned about Giles. He wanted Buffy to get better and he couldn’t be bothered with the old man’s quick assumption that this was his fault.

Flushing slightly at being blatantly ignored Giles felt the pulse at the base of his neck begin to pound heavily beating against his skin. He was past anger, he thought coolly. Past resentment. Had been shoved into something he’d long ago left behind. He stared at Spike, in his filthy clothes, his head covered in patches of hair, his features drawn tight and now almost gaunt.

Giles figured the vampire hadn’t eaten…or maybe he had. On Buffy and now she’d been brought here because of him almost draining her dry. Maybe… God forbid, he had even tried to turn her!

Giles struck without conscious thought. He reacted to the pounding pressure of rage beating against the base of his skull. He lashed out his hands fisted together to form a club.

Spike rose in one fluid motion turning and blocked Giles’s swing with his forearm and with his other hand he shoved him. Giles stumbled but kept his balance as he lifted his foot and kicked out.

Spike took the kick in the knee and grunted in pain as it buckled beneath him. Giles took advantage and brought down his clubbed hands onto Spike’s back, causing him to fall to his knees.

“I don’t wanna hurt you…” Spike ground out against the pain and anger running through him.

“Bloody bastard! Stand up and take it like a man,” Giles yelled as he kicked Spike again, this time in the gut. “You think I’ll let you get away with this? With making a fool out of-”

Giles cut himself off as he heard the distinct sounds of an oncoming flat line as Buffy’s pulse began to short out again. Her body began to seize and Spike surged to his feet.

“Buffy,” both men cried out and reached for her.

Spike made a grab for her and locked her arms together as he half laid down on top of her. He snarled when her head connected with his chin and he saw stars.

“Get her mouth open and put something in it,” he ordered Giles as he struggled to keep her pinned down.

The door to the room burst open and people swarmed inside. Spike reluctantly let go of Buffy as she was injected with a drug to still her movements. He was brushed to the side and abruptly found himself waiting outside Buffy’s closed door with her Watcher.

He ran a hand over his mouth and considered taking his frustration out on the man beside him, before he pondered what Buffy would do if she found out. He moved away from the temptation of beating Giles senseless. He began to pace and barely felt the pain of his dislocated kneecap.

What the bloody hell was wrong with her? He wondered. He couldn’t understand how fast it had happened. One minute she’d been happy in his arms and the next she had been unconscious and seizing.

“You did this to her,” Giles hissed out.

Spike shook his head.

“No. I didn’t do a bloody thing to her old man. I let you get your licks in, but don’t expect any quarter from me here on. I’ll pound the bloody pulp outta you and enjoy every minute of it. You’d best be glad the only thing that keeps that from happening is Buffy,” he growled as he faced Giles head on.

It was just his luck he thought then, as he heard the heavy clomp of running footsteps. Felt the presence of Angel far before he turned the corner and came into view.

Buffy’s door swung open and Spike turned his back on both Angel and Giles.

“What’s wrong with her?” Spike demanded grabbing the doctor by his white coat’s lapels. “Why does this keep happening? What's wrong with her?”

The doctor blanched.

“Get your hands off of me,” the doctor stammered out.

Spike breathed deeply and with a quick shove moved away from the doctor a step. He needed to get control of his emotions. He couldn’t freak out, not when she needed him.

“Sorry,” Spike mumbled.

“Now…it appears Ms. Summers has undergone several seizures throughout the night. The cause is unknown. But it seems she’s fallen into a coma. As of now we will need to-”

“Coma? What the hell is going on here?” Angel yelled as he stepped forward. He didn’t care that he was interrupting the doctor. He had run all the way here and had followed the scent up here, only to find Buffy was now in a coma. He wanted answers.

“We will keep her under observation and monitor her brain activity as well as any signs of a cause. She seems to be a healthy young woman with no cause for such a drastic change in health.”

The doctor said little else and soon managed to slip away.

Faith hovered on the edge of the little group having caught the tail end of the doctor’s words. She glanced at Willow and Xander who were slowly walking up as well.

“What’s happened to Buffy?” she demanded.

“He’s what happened,” Giles said and pointed at Spike with a shaking hand.

Spike ignored them all and began to move back into Buffy’s room.

Angel grabbed him by his arm and dragged him towards him.

“Let go of me,” Spike said as he locked his feet to the floor and stilled Angel’s movements. He jerked from his grasp and growled.

A deep and disturbingly feral sound, seemingly vibrating around them.

“Faith come on,” Angel snapped out.

Faith hesitated a moment.

“What? Right now? Look I don’t think this is the right time to do that Angel. I mean c’mon! Buffy’s in that room right there! I for one want to know what’s wrong with her! I can’t think about offing Patches here.”

“You’ll have to wait on killin’ me Angelus. I mean to find out what’s wrong with Buffy. And nothing is gonna stop me. Least of all you. Or you,” Spike spat glaring at Angel and Giles in turn.

Angel moved quick as lightning getting in front of Buffy’s closed door.

“You’re not getting in there Spike,” Angel told him grimly.

Spike balanced on the balls of his feet and lightly curled his hands taking on a defensive stance. He allowed his anger and frustration to come out as he slipped on his game face.

He flashed his fangs as Angel answered his silent challenge.

“You can’t keep her from me,” Spike intoned.

Angel’s true face came forth as well and he took a step forward.

“I can and I will,” he gritted out menacingly as he came in swinging.

Next