Chapter Thirteen

As coherent thought came back, the vampire dropped his head to the floor in despair.

(Bloody hell.  I claimed her.  What was I...This is not good. I claimed a slayer.  And after tellin’ her I’m leavin’ here and never comin’ back.)

He picked his head up and pulled back to meet her joyful eyes. He was still buried inside her warmth and truly had no desire to leave that place yet, but his shock at what his demon had done was stronger than the urge to stay there until he was hard enough to have another go. He reluctantly pulled out of her gently pulsing walls and rolled off to the side on his back. 

He kept one arm around her and she immediately curled into his body, throwing one arm across his chest and looking up at him expectantly.

“Buffy, pet,  I’m sorry.  I never meant to do that—didn’t even really bite you.  It was just a little nick and the demon...”

“The demon tried to claim me.  I know what it means, Spike. Why do you think I said it to you when I gave you that spectacular – if I say so myself – hickey?”

“But I shouldn’t have done it, luv.  I’m not plannin’ on comin’ back.  I keep trying to tell you that, but you just won’t listen to reason.  Bloody stubborn woman!  Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because I know you, Spike,” she said softly, reaching up with one hand to stroke his agitated face.  “I know you’re going to come back to me.  It might take a while, and...and I won’t be very happy while you’re gone, but I know you’re coming back. And I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I can’t leave her, Buffy.  She needs me.  She depends on me to take care of her and to...love her.”

Buffy wisely refrained from pointing out that this woman who was so dependent on him was currently banging his grandsire so frequently and loudly that it had driven him out of the building.  She knew that Spike was blaming Angelus for it and would forgive Dru.  It was his nature to forgive the women he loved, no matter how much they hurt him.

“I know, my love,” she said, stroking his face again.  “It’s okay. You wouldn’t be you if you could switch allegiance that easily.  I have to earn your love.  And Dru has to—“ She stopped herself from revealing what she knew of his future with the insane vampire.  “you’ll come back when you’re ready, and I’ll be here.”

The confidence in her voice frightened him.  She was so sure of herself.  Just as he was sure that he could never love anyone the way he did his dark princess.  The dark princess who was currently seeing that her sire received continuous happiness-inducing orgasms all night.  That thought made him tighten his arm around the Slayer and she slid over onto his body, reminding him that he had his own source of happiness at hand.

Giving up any attempt to convince her that she was wrong about him and their future, he ran his hands down the silky skin of her back and cupped her round butt cheeks in his hands, pulling her up so that the head of his rapidly hardening cock was nudging at her entrance.

“You okay for another go, pet?” he asked, concerned that she might be sore.  “Don’t want to hurt you...not much, anyway,” he added with a leer.

“I can handle it, vampire.  I’m a Slayer, remember?  I’ve been hurt a lot worse for a lot less reward.  You haven’t begun to hurt me enough to—“

She was interrupted when he pushed her hips down onto his cock and she couldn’t control the slight flinch when he pushed against her torn flesh.  Immediately, he stopped and looked at her anxiously.  Even while he cursed his inner William for being the biggest ponce in the world, he was apologizing and lifting her off.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, nuzzling his neck and licking the mark she’d made, “Please, don’t stop.”

“I think it’s bleedin’ again, luv,” he managed to get out.  His demon was almost drooling as the smell of her blood mixed with arousal sent it into a frenzy.

“Maybe you could kiss it better?” she offered breathlessly. 

“Good plan,” he agreed, pulling her up to his face.  “Nothin’ like vamp saliva to help a wound heal...”  he settled her over his mouth and let his tongue slide inside to lap up the mixture of blood and moisture he found there. Buffy gasped when she felt his cool tongue moving around inside her aching quim, searching for any trace of bleeding or torn tissue.

While she supported herself on her knees and hands, she tried to let him guide her hips wherever he wanted them to be.  It wasn’t long, though, before she was moving her hips in small circles, unable to keep still as his talented tongue moved from her now soothed entrance to the little nubbin begging for attention.  When he pulled it into his mouth and bit down gently she shrieked, trying to muffle the sound by turning her head toward her shoulder.

He quickly pulled her back down and without pausing, slipped into her thoroughly ready entrance.  There was no pain this time, and no blood as Spike’s attentions had set the healing in motion and her accelerated Slayer healing had taken over.  She sat up and smiled down at him as she began to squeeze his cock rhythmically.  When his hands reached for her breasts this time, she didn’t bat them away, but arched her back and thrust them into his hands.

He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything as beautiful or erotic as the sun tanned girl writhing on top of him.  Without moving her hips at all, she was managing to bring him to the edge of another orgasm just using her internal muscles.

When his appreciative murmuring took on an urgency that couldn’t be ignored, she fell forward onto his chest and allowed his moving hips to give her clit the friction it needed.  With matching gasps, the two powerful blonds shook with intensity of their orgasms and clutched each other as waves of pleasure swept over them.

This time, Spike remained inside her warm body as she lay against his chest and whispered his name.  He held her lightly, more than willing to be used as a pillow as long as he could stay inside her warmth a while longer.

Buffy stayed where she was as long as she could, knowing this was the last time she would have him like this until Drusilla’s infidelity sent him running back to Sunnydale next year.  As much as she dreaded the upcoming months without him, the knowledge that he was alive and that he would be coming back made it bearable and she prepared herself for losing him again, albeit, temporarily this time.

“I love you, Spike,” she breathed in his ear.  Without waiting for a response, she kissed him gently and lifted herself off his body, suppressing the whimper that threatened to emerge when he slid out of her.

Spike made no attempt to hide his reaction to the loss of her warmth, and he growled when she moved away from him.  She just looked at him sadly and said, “It’s almost dawn.  You can stay here today, if you want.  There’s a cot in the basement.  I have to get some sleep and then see what Willow and Jenny have come up with in the way of soul-restoring spells.”

“You’re going to try to put it back?” he asked incredulously.  “Now that you know it’s not permanent?  Are you daft?  Do you have any idea what Angelus is like, Buffy?”

“Actually, I do,” she answered quite seriously, as she pulled on her jeans.  She’d given up the search for her underwear, although she’d been sure she’d taken them off at the same time as the jeans.  Completely ignoring Spike’s indignant snort, she turned her back to him so that he could fasten her bra for her and continued talking without answering his grumbled, “I’m more used to undoin’ these, pet.”

“If Jenny and Willow haven’t been able to come up with it today, I’ll...I’ll probably kill him.  I can’t take a chance that he’ll be able to...” she stopped and shook herself.  “But I’m sure between the two of them they’ve been able to find something.  Even if it’s only a temporary fix until we figure out a way to anchor his soul.  I owe him that much.  All you have to do is help me distract him and control Drusilla until we can get the spell done.”

He peered at her uncertainly.  This business-like Slayer was quite different from the perky little girl who’d been tormenting him since he arrived in Sunnydale.  And different from the experienced, affectionate woman in a girl’s body that he’d just made love with.  He was a little chilled at her matter of fact discussion of killing the vampire she professed to still care about.

This Slayer was different from the other’s he’d fought in more ways than one.  He reminded himself that she’d survived him, Angelus, and five or six more years of vampires, demons and potentially world ending apocalypses.  He looked at her with new respect and asked, “Then what, pet?”

“Then I guess you’ll leave and take her away from here.  She’s healed now and if she stays here I’ll have to kill her sooner or later.  If you love her, you’ll take her very far away. That was your plan wasn’t it?” She looked at him steadily.  “Make Dru better and kill another Slayer?”

His bowels clenched as she reminded him of his original intent.

“I don’t want to kill you anymore, Buffy.  You know that.  But I won’t let you stake Drusilla.”

She looked at him coldly.  “You couldn’t stop me if I wanted to do it. And I should.  She’s a killer.”  She stared into his suddenly narrowed eyes and continued with a sigh, “But you’d never forgive me, and I don’t want that. So I’m letting you take her away.  Just be sure she doesn’t come back.  No train massacres this time around.”

He knew she was referring to something that had happened in her future, and filed it away to worry about later.  He stood up and began to dress, hiding her lace underwear in his back pocket as he pulled on his jeans.  When he was dressed and had put his duster back on, they stood, both looking awkwardly at the floor.

Finally Buffy moved toward him and laid her hand against his chest. He could feel the heat from her hand through his tee shirt and unconsciously leaned in to it.  She ran her hand lightly over his chest, smoothing the shirt out as she did, then dropped it to her side.

“You better get back to them, if you aren’t going to stay here.  I don’t want them to suspect you’re helping me.”

“No way to hide what we’ve been doin’, pet.  You’re all over me, jus’ like I’m all over you. A raw fledgling would know what we’ve been doin’ – not to mention our new neck decorations.”  He gestured to the small cuts his fangs had made on her neck and the slowly fading love bite she’d left on him.

“A shower and a change of clothes will take care of most of it,” she suggested.  “Do you really think they’re going to know where the marks came from? If they can even see them, by then.”

“I dunno, love.  I didn’t really bite you, so I don’t think it’s gonna be an obvious claim.  But if either one of them gets close enough to try to drain you...I dunno.  We’ll see, I guess.” He looked at her closely.  “Don’t think it’s gonna be real strong, and it probably won’t last once I’m gone.”

He saw the disappointment flash across her face briefly, but before he could say anything else, the Slayer’s mask was back in place and he decided to let it go. 

“Ok, then.  I guess that’s it until we’re ready to make our move.  You’ll just have to wait until we show up, I guess.  I hope it’s going to be tonight, but it might take a day or two.  If I could think of some way to let you know...”

“ ’S alright, pet.  I’ll jus’ hang close to the two and keep an eye on ‘em.  Hard to tell what they might get up to what with Angelus havin’ to be good for so many years.  He’s probably bustin’ with schemes to destroy the world or somethin’”

“Good guess,” she smiled at him sadly.  “But I’m going to try to keep it from getting that far this time.”

“Sun’s comin’ up, luv. I’ve got to go. Got to find a place I can clean up before I go back to the factory.”

“I know,” she said softly, tilting her face up toward his.  He leaned down and their lips met one last time in a kiss that started out very chaste and deepened into something he didn’t want to examine too closely.  He knew that the taste of this girl’s lips would haunt him for a long time to come and he almost groaned as she pulled away for air.

“Good-bye, Spike,” she whispered, dipping her hand into his back pocket and stealing back her underwear.

“Hey! I stole those fair and square, Slayer!  And how did you...” he stopped and shook his head at himself.  “Oh yeah, almost forgot.”

“I know you,” she smirked, waving them in his face.

“God help me, you do,” he said as he let himself out the door into the rapidly dwindling darkness.  “You do.”

Chapter Fourteen

Buffy stood in the doorway until she couldn’t see his flaring leather coat anymore, then slowly closed it, fighting back the feeling that he was leaving her forever.  She walked around the living room, picking cushions and brushing any trace of what they’d been doing out of the rug. 

Just as she had when she used to leave his crypt without any sleep, she went up to her room and got into bed without cleaning herself off.  She drifted off to sleep surrounded by the scent of Spike and really relaxed for the first time in years.

After a few hours of restorative sleep, she showered, got dressed and headed for the school to see what Jenny and Willow had come up with.  She was relieved to find that they had found the basic words of the curse on a web site dealing with ancient gypsy customs.  Willow was confident that between the soul-restoring spell she had found, and Jenny’s curse, they could restore Angel’s soul if they could just get close enough to him without being killed.

“Okay,” Buffy said confidently, “That’s where Spike and I come in—“

“Spike?  What does the bleached menace have to do with it?” Xander sputtered.  “Isn’t he part of the problem?”

“Xander, were you not listening the other night?” Giles’ impatience was evident in his voice.  “As much as we might prefer it not be the case, Buffy trusts Spike to help her out when she needs it.  Please remain quiet if you can’t contribute anything useful.”

The angry boy stood up and spread his arms.

“The only thing I’d like to contribute is a hammer to help her drive stakes into all three of those bloodsuckers.  I knew Angel would break bad some day, and now she wants us to trust another undead thing on her say so.  I say if all she’s learned in six years is to switch one bloodsucking boyfriend for another…she’s not as smart as she wants us to think she is.”

There was a tense silence in the room when Xander finished his tirade and Buffy knew that everyone else was thinking their own version of the same thing.  For just a second, she was back in her time, breaking Spike’s heart every time she left him; so afraid her friends would find out that she was sleeping with him and condemn her for it.  She shook those memories off and fixed Xander with a cold stare.

He’d never seen an adult Buffy in full Slayer mode, and he unconsciously cringed back against the table while her watcher moved to intercept her if she should attack the boy.  Instead, Buffy just glared at him until he sat down with an ashamed expression on his face.

When he was again seated at the table, she looked around the room and said,  “Let me try this one more time.  In the future, my future, Spike helps us multiple times.  He has opportunities to kill each of you several times, but never does it.  Even after he’s—even when he is temporarily rendered incapable of physically hurting any of you, he could have had minions do it.  And, when I’m…gone…he stays and takes care of…and he helps all of you patrol. He saves each of you multiple times.  You and the people you care about. You’d have been dead 10 times over without his extra muscle.

“I’m pretty sure I mentioned the burning to death to save the world from the First Evil – just in case all the other world saveage, enduring torture, being constantly insulted by all of you and still helping us….You know what? I don’t have to defend him or my feelings for him.  He earned every bit of trust and respect I can give him and if I can keep him from having to endure any of that other stuff this time?  Bonus points for me.”

She turned away from their open mouthed stares and said, “Now let’s figure out when and how we’re going to do this.  I think late afternoon would be good.  They’ll just be waking up and probably won’t have left the factory yet.”

As though the whole previous scene hadn’t taken place, she went back to planning the afternoon’s assault on the Factory.  When she said that Spike was to be allowed to take Drusilla with him, she squelched Xander’s complaint with one look and went on with the plan.



Spike broke into a vacant home on a deserted street and showered off any trace of the Slayer.  He stepped under the water wearing all his clothes and rinsed her scent off them as best he could, then stripped and let the water run over his body.

He leaned against the tiled wall, supporting himself with one hand while the hot water beat down on his shoulders.  The heat made him think of Buffy and the incredible way her warmth drew him.  He’d never been attracted to a human woman since he’d been turned.  In fact, he rarely looked at anyone other than his dark princess, even though he knew she occasionally strayed.

But this tiny girl, this incredibly sexy woman in a girl’s body, reached places in his psyche that he didn’t even know existed.  Never had he met a woman, vampire or slayer, who was his equal in a fight; and here was one that could take him whenever she wanted to.  He didn’t doubt her when she said she knew all his moves.  When he thought back to the fights he’d seen, he could see it.  The sudden leg sweep after a feinted high kick, the frontal attack that turned into a flip over the opponent’s head, those were his moves.  Moves he’d taught her.

That led to thoughts of the other things he’d obviously taught her and he was suddenly hard again remembering her mouth and hands on his cock. He groaned with the ache that was settling in his balls to match the throbbing in his cock at the thought of the soft and yet so strong body he’d been allowed to enjoy. Even thoughts of Dru and Angelus, shagging each other bloody back in the factory couldn’t push away the vision of her tanned body riding him, and with an angry snarl, he grabbed the soap, quickly using its slippery foam to take the edge off what he was afraid was about to become a permanent condition.

When he had finished his shower, he put his damp clothes back on and, stealing a curtain off the window to throw over his head, he bolted out the door and down a manhole.  Using his uncanny sense of direction and smell, he found his way to the factory through the sewers and tunnels under the city.  He wasn’t happy with what the water was doing to his boots, but thought it would help cover any lingering smell from the Slayer.

He gingerly fingered the place on his neck where she had sucked so hard on his skin that she left a mark.  He remembered her whispered, “mine” and shuddered a little at the thought of being bound to a Slayer.  Telling himself that there hadn’t been any actual exchange of blood, and no reciprocating on his part, he tried to shrug it off as a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing that she didn’t mean.

When he finally emerged through the basement of the factory, he was, for once, more grateful than jealous that Angelus and Dru were so wrapped up in each other.  They barely acknowledged his arrival and paid no attention when he shed his wet clothes and replaced them with new dry ones.  He threw the wet ones down to another level of the building and went off to sleep by himself in a far corner of the big room.


Angelus and Dru went back to where they had been since the vampire’s return to the fold – on the double bed mattress that Spike had installed in a side room for Dru to rest on until she recovered.  The sounds coming from the room told Spike she definitely had her strength back and he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the sounds of her screams and whimpers as she cried out her happiness at her “daddy’s” return.

He was finally able to drift off to sleep when he allowed himself to visualize silky golden hair, soft pink lips, and warm green eyes smiling up at him.

When Spike woke up, his instincts told him it was late afternoon and he got up and stretched, wondering if the red-haired witch and the gypsy woman had come up with a way to shove a soul back into the other vampire.

(That or the Slayer’s gonna shove a sharp piece of wood into his chest.)  he thought wryly.  (No way is Angelus gonna take this little girl. I’m guessing she knows him as well as she knows me and he never was all that great a fighter anyway.  More of a bully than a warrior.)

He was smiling at the thought of the ass-kicking Buffy was going to give Angelus when he and Dru came out of the their room.  Dru cocked her head at Spike and began in a sing song voice, “Spike’s been a bad puppy.  My sweet William’s been playing in the sun.  The sun makes him smile, but it will burn him.”

Angelus just shook his head at her babbling, but Spike got very still as he realized what she was saying.  Even without being close enough to smell him or see the mark on his neck, she knew what he’d been doing.  He decided to brave it out and shrugged as he lit a cigarette and blew smoke at her.

“Fair’s fair, pet.  Jus’ getting’ a little of my own back.”

She rolled her eyes in a way that told him she wasn’t fooled at all, but then spun away from Angelus and began to dance slowly to music only she could hear.  As she danced, she sang nonsense words that meant nothing to either vampire.

Angelus didn’t approach the younger vamp.  He clearly expected Spike to be very angry about losing Dru and was wary of him.  Even though Angelus was the older of the two by almost a century, he’d spent enough years toughening Spike up and teaching him to fight to respect the other vamp’s fists and fangs.  No one took joy in a fight the way Spike did, and Angelus had no desire to be on the receiving end of the other vamp’s jealous rage.  He was mildly surprised that Spike didn’t appear angrier than he was, but put if off as the result of an all-night binge and a hangover.

He extended an uncertain peace offering to his grandchild, saying, “We’re going to go hunting as soon as the sun is down all the way.  Do you want to come with us?”

Spike looked at him coldly and turned away without answering.  Suddenly he felt the fading mark on his neck tingle and his head flew up so that he could listen. 

“Show time,” he whispered to himself as he waited for the Slayer to appear.

Chapter Fifteen

Buffy felt a tingle in the healed scratches on her neck and knew that Spike’s unintentional claiming was still active.  She paused and shut her eyes for a second and was rewarded with a wash of excitement and anticipation that she knew was coming from the blond vampire.  Wishing she knew more about claiming and the side effects, she tried to send a message of confidence and warning but couldn’t tell if he received it or not.

In a whispered conversation, she told Jenny and Willow where they could hide while they worked on the combined curse/spell.  Her intent was to keep Angelus busy fighting her long enough for them to work their magic on his demon. 

“I promise you,” she said to Willow’s frightened face, “I will not let him near you.  If it comes down to it, I’ll stake him and let the future worry about itself.  You just stay behind the machinery, and let me do the rest.”

“And what about William the Bloody and Drusilla?” Jenny asked quietly.  “I believe you when you say Spike won’t harm you or us, but what is to prevent his consort from doing to us what she did to Kendra?”

“Spike will,” Buffy said shortly.  “All right, let’s go.”

When Spike felt Buffy approaching, he suddenly became very animated and began stalking toward Angelus, growling about his having “taken my soddin’ woman for the last time.”  Keeping one eye on Drusilla, who had stopped dancing to watch with interest the two vampires preparing to fight over her, he insulted, provoked and generally distracted Angel to prevent the older vampire from hearing the entrance of Buffy and the witches.

Had Drusilla not whirled at the sound of Willow sneezing in the dusty room he might have been able to keep the other vamp busy until the spell was well underway.  However, the sneeze and Dru’s subsequent wail of, “The sun is here to take my daddy away,” tore Angelus’ attention off the advancing blond and focused it on the petite form entering the room.

“Well, hello, lover,” he crooned.  “I didn’t really expect to see you so soon.  Thought you’d want to take a while to mourn the passing of your boy friend.”

Buffy blinked at him in genuine confusion for a second, before she realized that he meant his soulled self and not Spike.  Angel had not heard her speech about Spike’s unconditional love for her and apparently thought he was still the love of her life, even though she thought she had made it clear that they had no future together.

When she realized what he meant, she smiled grimly and said, “Haven’t lost him yet, demon.”

While she and Angel were exchanging pleasantries, Drusilla was working her way toward the Slayer, swaying back and forth like a cobra as she did so.

“Sunshine thinks she has captured my sweet William.  She wants to pull both my lovely boys into the light with her, but they don’t want to leave their dark princess, do they Miss Edith?”

She cocked her head as though listening for a reply, then snarled at the Slayer.

“Miss Edith says you tried to take what’s mine.  She says I should kill you like I did the other Slayer.”

As Dru moved closer, trying to get the Slayer to look her in the eye, Spike was crossing the room swiftly and he grabbed her around the waist just as she got to Buffy.  Although the slayer was careful not to look the insane vampire in the eyes, she couldn’t help but be distracted by her weaving approach and sing song voice.

When Spike grabbed the dark vampire before she could reach for the Slayer, Buffy’s attention was distracted enough that Angel was able to leap for her, his weight carrying them both to the floor.  The force of the fall with the vampire’s large body on top of her, knocked the wind out of her and she was immobilized for a few seconds as she struggled to get air into her lungs. 

Angel took advantage of that to pull her hands over her head and fully pin her down, using his legs to hold hers still.  When she tried to buck him off, she could feel his erection pressing into her crotch and she recoiled reflexively.

“Oh,” he snarled, “the virtuous little bitch doesn’t like that, eh?  Maybe before I kill you, I’ll have to pop that cherry you’re so proud of.”

“Too late,” she snarled back as she bashed her forehead into his face and tried to pull her arms free.  She cursed her sixteen year old self for the baby fat coating the body that had become taut with muscle in her own time. She knew that if she was in her own body she would have been able to overpower the large vampire, but in this body she felt more helpless than she had in years.

While Spike was busy trying to contain a shrieking, struggling Drusilla, Angel bared his fangs and prepared to sink them into Buffy’s exposed neck. Just as he reached for her throat, the marks on it flared into visibility and Buffy could feel them emitting some sort of power.  The snarling vampire recoiled in fear and astonishment as Spike’s claim became visible, allowing Buffy to free one hand and use it to push his head back far enough for her to wriggle out from under him.  She rolled to her feet and fell into a fighting stance as he gaped at her

“You…you’ve been claimed!  How…who…no one claims a Slayer.” His surprise was replaced with anger, “No vampire claims what’s mine.  I’ll kill you and him.”  He advanced on the slayer, snarling the whole time.    “Tell me who it was.   Did you stake him for it, or do I get to rip his head off?”

Surprised that he couldn’t tell that the tiny marks belonged to Spike, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief that she could feel was echoed by the the vamp still wrestling with Drusilla.  The dark vampiress was shrieking about spells and witches and gypsies and tearing at Spike with her nails and teeth in an effort to break loose and attack Willow and Jenny.

Buffy couldn’t risk taking her eyes off Angelus long enough to watch the seer, and she prayed that Spike would be able to control her while she kept the fuming master vampire busy.  When he charged her again, she was ready for him and leaped over his head, kicking him as she did so.  She whirled and planted another kick in his back, sending him to the floor hard enough to stun him. When she didn’t follow up with a stake in his back, he staggered back to his feet with a knowing smile.

“You can’t kill me, can you, lover?  I knew you couldn’t.  It would break your little teen-aged heart.”

He stalked toward her, only to be met with a flurry of punches and kicks that put him back on the floor, bruised and bleeding, but undusted. He sat there, blinking up at her angrily.

“Give it up, Buffy.  Admit it. You. Can’t. Kill. Me. You love me too much.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at his arrogance and spat back at him, “I can kill you, if I have to.  News flash, Angel, I already have.  Sent you right to hell, in spite of how much I loved you.  And, Angel?  This time around? I don’t think I even like you very much.”

“Then why haven’t you…”  His face showed his sudden understanding and he leapt to his feet with a roar.  “Where are they?  You’re stalling me!  Trying to put that miserable soul back.  I don’t want it, Slayer. I won’t go back to being what I was.”

Buffy positioned herself between the furious vampire and the large piece of machinery behind which Willow and Jenny were frantically chanting, trying to finish their combined spells before Buffy had to stake him.

Angel’s roar had distracted Spike long enough for Drusilla to break free and she flew across the big room to where the chanting was almost ready to take her daddy away again.  Buffy turned to run toward Drusilla and Angel tackled her to the floor once again.  This time he wasted no time on threats or taunting, just reached toward her nearest body part with his fangs.  Spike was frozen in place for a fraction of a second, torn between saving Buffy and saving the two chanting women.

When Willow screamed, he crossed the floor in two leaps, tackling Drusilla away from the shrinking red head.  Before the spitting, hissing vampire could rip into him again with her claws, he brought his fist up and with a soft, “Sorry, luv,” he connected a hard uppercut to her chin that knocked her unconscious.  He gave Willow and Jenny and apologetic shrug, then whirled to help Buffy, only to find the Slayer kicking his grandsire’s semi-conscious body all over the room.

“If,” smack!  “you,”  whump!  “don’t stop,”  crack!  “trying to bit me,” bam!,  “I’m going to stake you anyway and the hell with your freakin’ redemption!”

He  grinned in admiration as she punched and pummeled the large vampire until she could drag his unconscious body up to where Willow and Jenny were finishing their interrupted spell casting.  She dropped him in front of the frightened women, put her hands on her hips and said, “Well?”

“Done!” Willow said, sagging with relief.  Jenny nodded her head and they all turned to watch Angelus’ body stiffen and shake as the spell hit him and his soul was restored.  Turning from the now-groaning vampire, Buffy looked from Spike to the still unconscious Drusilla.  She reached a tentative hand toward his bleeding face which was covered in cuts from his lover’s claws.

He flinched back away from her hand and cringed at the pain that flashed across her face.

“We need to go, Slayer. She’s gonna be really brassed off when she wakes up.  Better if we’re on our way to South America by then.”  The two blonds stared at each other for what seemed like forever before he said, softly, “I’m sorry, Buffy.  I wish it could be different.”

She nodded silently, afraid to trust her voice as he lifted the limp vampiress to his shoulder and turned to go.

“Take care of yourself, luv,” he said as he walked out of the building without looking back.

“You too, Spike,” she whispered almost to herself.  “Come back to me.”

Chapter Sixteen

While Buffy waited for Angel to regain his senses, a stake handy just in case the spell didn’t work as they’d hoped, Willow and Jenny made their way back out of the factory just in time to see Xander aim a crossbow at Spike and pull the trigger.

“Xander, no!” Willow screamed.  Not quickly enough to prevent the bolt from leaving the bow, but enough for Spike to turn and take the missile in his shoulder rather than the back that Xander was aiming for.  When he went down, snarling in pain, he lost his grip on Drusilla and she rolled out of his hands and landed on her feet.  She looked from the bolt in Spike’s shoulder to the wide-eyed boy holding the crossbow and leaped at him, fangs and claws bared.

With a groan, Spike pushed himself to his feet and grabbed her around the waist before she could do any more damage than rake her nails down Xander’s arm.  Using his one good arm, he wrestled the angry vampire around so that she was facing him and told her, “No, Dru. I promised we’d leave without killin’ anybody.”

“But my sweet Spike, he was trying to kill you.  And after you were such a bad puppy and helped the Slayer. He deserves to be eaten.”

“No doubt he does, pet.  But I made a promise, and I plan to keep it.  Now, help me to the car like a good girl.”

Casting a look of lingering hunger and rage at Xander, the easily distracted vampire allowed Spike to lean on her while steering her toward his old Desoto.  The humans stood and watched in amazement as the blond vampire crawled painfully into the driver’s seat and started the car.  As he began to pull out of the parking lot, the door of the factory opened and Buffy stepped out, followed closely by a shaken Angel. 

The big black car stopped beside the slayer for just long enough for her to see the crossbow bolt sticking out from his shoulder and to catch the expression of disgust and disappointment on his face.  He looked into her wide, tear-filled eyes just long enough for her to register the pain under the anger, then shook his head and floored the big V8 to shoot out of the parking lot in a spray of gravel.

Buffy stalked toward the small group of humans arguing among themselves with much yelling and waving of arms and froze them all with a “Which one of you did that?” in her best Slayer voice.

Even her Watcher was afraid to move as her now dry and very cold eyes went from person to person.  When she got to Xander, he tried very hard to hide the crossbow, but she snatched it from his hand and broke it over her knee.

“I might have known!  Damn! I SHOULD have known.  You’ve never been willing to…” She stopped to take a deep breath, and threw her hands up in the air.  “Stay away from me, Xander.  I mean really, really away from me.”

She walked back over to Angel, peering into his eyes to make sure there was no trace of Angelus before she left.

‘We’re going to talk about those marks, Buffy.  I haven’t forgotten them.”  His eyes bored into hers, the anger still lurking in their depths but now competing with the pain that came with knowing she was serious when she told him the weren’t together in her future.

“We will, Angel. I promise.  I’ll explain as much as I can.  But not tonight.  Tonight I need to be alone.”  She turned and without saying anything to her Watcher or friends, she disappeared into the night, seeking something to kill and some privacy.

He nodded and started walking toward the apprehensive group watching him.  He watched as Xander moved unobtrusively behind Giles at his approach and he knew it was going to take a while before Buffy’s friends accepted and trusted him again.

(And, they would be right not to), he mused. (Now that we know how easily the soul can be jarred loose.)

He paused in front of the Watcher and looked the man in the eye.

“I’m sorry,” he said.  “I had no idea that would happen.  We need to find a way to anchor my soul.”

Giles nodded, and gestured at his car.  “Yes, I believe that might be the first order of business now that Spike and Drusilla have left Sunnydale.”

“They left?”

“Yes, it appears that Buffy and Spike had an arrangement – a new arrangement – that he would assist her in restoring your soul and she would allow him to take Drusilla away from here…without harming anyone,” he added, casting a hard look at an unrepentant Xander.

“You saw that crazy bitch!  She was going to kill me!”

“I also saw you shoot her llover, and saw him save you from her in spite of his wound.  It would appear that William the Bloody is a…vampire…of his word.”

Angel nodded and agreed with a sigh, “If Spike promises to do something, he doesn’t quit until he has done it.  I suppose that would hold true if he promised not to do something also.”

“He is certainly not your average vampire,” the Watcher said, wondering how much Angel knew about Buffy’s future with his grandchilde.

“Never has been,” Angel agreed without further explanation.

The small group of humans and the re-soulled vampire squeezed themselves into the Watcher’s aging car and headed back into the residential part of Sunnydale.


After he dropped Willow and Xander off at their homes, he let Angel out near his apartment and headed for his apartment complex, pulling tiredly into the parking lot with a sigh.

He got out and opened the door for Jenny, marveling that it had  been only slightly more than twenty-four hours since Angelus had appeared and sent them all into crisis mode.  None of them had slept since Buffy notified them of his condition, and they were all exhausted.

Within an hour, they were all sleeping soundly, with the exception of Angel, who was lying on his bed and reflecting on his brief time as Angelus. 

(I wonder what I did in Buffy’s time that made her so determined to get my soul back – and why she was able to get Spike to agree with it?  He had no reason to care if I was eating half of Sunnydale.)

He shook his head at his own sense of denial, knowing good and well that Spike’s reason had everything to do with getting his “dark princess” back and nothing to do with concerns about what Angelus might have done to the human population of Sunnydale.

Thinking about Spike and Buffy reminded him of the tiny mark on Buffy’s throat that had felt just like a claim, albeit not a strong enough claim for him to identify the vampire who made it.

(I suppose it’s possible it was a random vamp that happened to get a little taste before she staked him.  But why would a vamp bent on dinner bother to take the time to try to claim her?)

He added that to the list of things he wanted Buffy to explain to him when she was willing to talk again.  He was slightly puzzled by her obvious unhappiness and desire to be alone, but attributed it to the trauma of having someone she loved turn into a monster before her eyes.  He frowned, remembering what she’d implied about her lack of virginity when Angelus was taunting her with rape.

(Maybe she was thinking about her older self.  No doubt by the time she got into her 20’s, she had a boyfriend or two.  She couldn’t have meant this Buffy. I would know if she’d done anything like that.  She’s never even gone out with anyone but me, and I’ve never tried to touch her.)



The only other one not sleeping the sleep of the righteous and exhausted was the Slayer herself.  She prowled Sunnydale’s cemeteries, catching up with all the fledglings that had emerged while she was home with her mother and Spike.  By the time she had dusted her tenth vampire, and pummeled a belligerent grackle demon into a mewling lump of flesh, she was feeling enough in control of her anger that she thought she might be able to be around Xander without wanting to throttle him.

She cringed, remembering not only the obviously painful wound on Spike’s shoulder, but the hurt in his eyes at the apparent betrayal of their agreement.

(At least in this time, I didn’t do it myself.  He knows what Xander  is like – no wait, this Spike doesn’t know.  He’ll think he was shot on my orders.)

Anger at her friend flared again as she worried about what effect the suspected betrayal might have on Spike’s willingness to come back to Sunnydale.  She was already worried that the short amount of time they’d had together, and the quickness with which they’d resoulled Angel, might have changed things so much that Drusilla wouldn’t leave him for the chaos demon she’d taken up with in her time.

Telling herself she could do nothing but wait and see what happened in this Buffy’s future, she turned her feet toward home, hoping for a couple of hours of sleep before she had to go to school and pretend to be a sixteen-year-old high school student again.

Chapter Seventeen

            When they all gathered in the library at the end of the school day, there was uncomfortable silence while everyone waited for someone else to start the meeting.  With a sigh, Giles took his glasses off and polished them before saying to Willow, “ I suppose we all owe you and Ms Calendar a great debt for restoring Angel’s soul.  I’m sure he will thank you in person once he thinks we are ready to trust him again.”

         “I’m NOT ready to trust him again,” Xander grumbled. “He’s an evil bloodsucker and now we know what he’s like without the soul.”

          “You have no idea what Angel is like without his soul.”   Buffy’s voice was hard and cold, to match the look she gave the equally angry boy.  “You have no idea how lucky we are that we knew what happened, when it happened, and were able to put the soul back within a very short amount of time.”

            She looked around the table at the curious faces.  “That wasn’t the way it went in my time.  We had months to learn exactly what Angelus was really like and why he was so feared.  Trust me when I tell you to be grateful you didn’t have to learn that the hard way.”

            “Well, why don’t you tell us what he was like, then?” Xander asked belligerently.  “Let us in on what we’re missing.”

          Buffy exchanged looks with Jenny Calendar and Giles before saying firmly,  “No.  He hasn’t done any of those things in this time line and I don’t want to give you reason to condemn him for things THIS Angel hasn’t done.”

           “So, what? You’re just gonna go through this life being all-knowing girl and not warn us about things we might need to know? That’s not fair.”

          “Neither is allowing you to punish Angel for something he hasn’t done.”

         “Do you really think we could be that unfair, Buffy?”  Willow asked plaintively.  “That we would blame somebody for stuff he didn’t do?”

          “No, Willow,” she answered softly, “I KNOW you can be that unfair.  All of you,” she added, shooting a look at her watcher.

         Her two friends stared at her in dismay, but the watcher just looked back at her speculatively.

          “We’re not just talking about Angel here, are we, Buffy?”

         The Slayer looked back at his concerned face and said flatly, “No, we are not just taking about Angel.”

           He looked like he wanted to pursue the subject, but Jenny’s gentle hand on his arm stopped him and he just nodded instead.

          Cordelia, who had been uncharacteristically silent up until now, broke into the heavy silence with, “Okay, if that’s out of the way, let’s get to the really important stuff.   What’s going to be in style this Spring?  We need to go to the mall so you can help me shop.  Not that I’m interested in having you pick out my clothes,” she added hastily and with a panicky look.

          “Not really interested in that myself,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes.  “Try to remember, guys.  I’m not really sixteen, and I’ve had a lot of really important stuff on my mind the last couple of years. As surprising as it may seem, shopping for clothes hasn’t been real high on my ‘to do’ list.”

         Cordelia huffed indignantly and poked Xander in the arm.  “See? I told you, she’s going to be even less fun to be around now.”

          Buffy rolled her eyes again and turned to speak to Giles and Willow.  She was having trouble figuring out how much to include the computer sciences teacher in the conversations, knowing that in her time the woman’s silence about who she really was had contributed to the release of Angelus.

        “Buffy,” her watcher began, “as much as I hate to agree with Xander, I really think it would be useful for you to fill us in on any possibly dangerous situations that could arise.”

           Buffy sighed and slumped into a chair.

          “I know you’re right, Giles.  It’s just so hard to know what might be important now, and what won’t matter.  I thought I had everything under control, and then Angel lost his soul anyway.  And then he and Dru did the same things they did in my time and Spike offered to help me get rid of Anglelus just like he did then, but Kendra got killed anyway…..I just don’t know what to tell you about.”

           “Could we begin with a quick summary of the year in your time?  Perhaps if we know what has remained the same and what is different, we can help you figure out the remaining dangers.”

          “In my time, Spike and then Angelus WERE the dangers, but I guess you’re right.  Let me figure out where I want to start.”

           “Why not start with the arrival of Spike and Drusilla in your time?  Tell us what would have happened if you hadn’t done…whatever you did…differently.”

           “Yeah, Buffy.  And then tell us what you did differently this time.”

             Remembering how she had teased Spike when she had him pinned at Back to School Night, Buffy blushed bright red and wondered how she was going to handle that question without giving out way more information than she wanted to.

           When she felt like she could speak without choking, she began an abbreviated version of events.  She told about the set up fight at the Bronze, and how she pretty much let Spike make the same speech to her, even though she did tell him she knew he wouldn’t wait for Saturday.

           When she told about their fight at Back to School Night and how he was preparing to kill her when her mother intervened with the axe, she saw Giles go pale as Willow and Xander gasped.

           “He beat you?  In your time, he won that fight?”

          “Yeah, he did.  Spike’s one hell of a fighter.  I can’t say he would’ve killed me for sure – I wasn’t planning to lie there and wait to be clobbered with a wall stud – but he certainly could have.  If he hadn’t stopped to gloat…”

           She could see Giles muttering to himself, “If not for Joyce, he would have had his third Slayer.  I had no idea he was such a powerful vampire…”  He drifted off into research mode, not really following the conversation anymore.

          “So, Buffster, what was different this time?”

          “I was.  I am – different.  I’ve got all those years of experience, plus years of training with Spike.  I know his moves, and he doesn’t know mine yet.  I’m not as strong in this body as I am in the future, but I still have all that experience and training.”

           “So, this time you won.  And then what?  He said, ‘Okay, you beat me. Let’s be friends?’”  She could hear the disbelief in Xander’s voice.

             “Let’s just say I was able to pique his curiosity with the things I know about him, and he was willing to talk to me about it.  I never had a chance to tell him about the world saveage – except what he heard here, but the part where he helps me beat Angelus played out pretty much the same anyway.”

          “Where does crazy vampire lady fit in?” Willow asked curiously.  “Does she become a good guy too?”

         Buffy snickered at the thought of Drusilla becoming a white hat and shook her head decisively.

           “No, she stays evil and crazy.  But he does take her far away and she never comes back.  Well, she does once, but she doesn’t stay very long and then she goes away again.  I think she spends some time in LA with Angel.”

           “Angel moves to LA?”  Jenny’s eyes narrowed and she began to pay more attention to the conversation.

           Buffy turned to face the gypsy and answered her coldly, “Yes, if you’ll recall, I told you that in my time you don’t tell us who you really are and what you know about him until it’s too late.  So you aren’t around to worry about his coming and going.”

            Of the young people in the room, only Willow caught the implication and her eyes widened as she realized what Buffy meant.

            “Who she really is?” Cordelia expressed an interest for only the second time all night. 

             Jenny Calendar looked at the curious young faces staring at her and then at the man she was coming to love.  He shrugged and told her softly, “It’s up to you, but I think we’ve had enough secrets.”

          She nodded and gave the expectant teenagers a short version of her families’ involvement in Angel’s curse.  Buffy turned away and let her attention drift, as she already knew what was being said.  She caught Giles looking at her thoughtfully again and knew at some point, she would have to tell him a cleaned up version of her relationship with Spike.

           When Jenny had finished her explanation, and answered a couple of questions about gypsies, Willow brought the conversation back to where she wanted it.

           “You say Drusilla never comes back – does Spike?”

           “Yes,” Buffy answered softly.  “he does. More than once, actually.”

          “If I may,” Giles put in, “Buffy was doing a recap of important events over the next several months.  Please, continue, Buffy.”

           Buffy straightened up in her chair and rolled her shoulders.

             “ ‘K, then, let me see.  Short version:   Ethan Rayne and Halloween – not so mixy; old boyfriend who wants to be a vampire –gets his wish, gets staked; the Judge – not bazooka-proof; Buffy’s birthday?  Good day to stay in bed – alone.”  She paused to look at their bewildered faces.

           “What?  That pretty much sums it up.  Angelus isn’t here, so he’s not an issue.  Spike and Dru are gone already, so they aren’t part of anything. I don’t really know what else we might have to worry about with them gone.  No Big Bads, just regular boring vampires and sorcerers.”

            “Oh!” she thought to herself out loud, “Unless Spike didn’t kill the Anointed One yet.  That could be a problem.”

          “Anointed one?”

          “Yes, the Master’s little brat.  Remember? The one that led me into the cave?  Spike called him the Annoying One and sent him into the sun in my time, but I don’t know if he’s had time to do that yet here.  I’ll have to go check on it, I guess.”

           She seemed alarmingly unconcerned that the Master’s chosen successor might still be alive and Giles couldn’t resist asking, “I take it there’s no rush?”

           Buffy cocked her head at him, wondering if she was detecting a note of sarcasm.  She shrugged and answered, “Don’t see why there would be.  It’s not like he’s got much left in the way of minions, after Spike and I –“

          “Spike and I?  Jeez, Buffy, just how much time have you been spending with the blond bloodsucker? He comes to town and you just blow us off.”  He couldn’t hide the edge of jealously in his voice; even with his glaring girl friend sitting right beside him.

           Buffy got up from her chair and stalked toward the pouting boy.

          “For. The. Last.  Time.  I am not your Buffy.  And I will not have my behavior or my relationships questioned by you or anyone else in the room.  The idea that you would imagine you could talk to me like that after what you did to Spike…” 

           She stopped and visibly struggled to gain control of her temper.

           “If he doesn’t come back because he thinks I told you to…” She shuddered slightly.  “You’ll wish you weren’t seeing much of me.”

           She turned her back on him so that none of the teenagers in the room could see the fear on her face at the thought that Spike might not come back.

           (He WILL come back.  Spike always comes back.  He always has. He can’t be that different in this time line.  He felt something for me.  I know he did…and could I sound any more pathetic?)

           Suddenly the room seemed very crowded and confining and she marched toward the door saying, “I need to go check on Angel and the Annoying One.  I’ll check back with you after patrol, Giles.”

            The doors were swinging in her wake before anyone could react quickly enough to stop her.

           Into the silence, Cordelia’s voice was almost welcome.

           “I don’t think I like grown-up, Buffy,” she huffed. 

           “She’s kinda scary,” Willow said softly.

           “I think she’s crazy.” Xander grumbled.  “And what’s with the whole attraction to vampires thing?  What’s wrong with human men?”

          Everyone ignored his obvious whining about Buffy’s lack of response to the crush he continued to have on her, but they acknowledged the difference in her behavior from the bubbly little girl they knew.

            Finally Jenny spoke up quietly.  “I think she acts like someone who has faced a lot of disappointment and pain in her life and that much of it was caused by those of us in the room.  I’m guessing that asking her to tell us everything that happened in her time isn’t going to make anyone here feel any better about themselves.”

           She cast a look at the librarian and said softly, “Including us, apparently.”

           Giles nodded his head in agreement.  “So it would seem.  Perhaps we can do something this time around to erase some of those bad memories.”

           “I hope so,” she said, moving closer to him.  “I would hate to think she was sent back to suffer more pain.”

Chapter Eighteen

Buffy wandered around Sunnydale for a while, enjoying the waning sunshine and putting off the inevitable talk with Angel.  The affection she still felt for the soulled vampire was present, but she knew that was not what this Angel was used to from her and she doubted he would be very happy to find that blind adoration was a thing of her past.  Not to mention, that he’d been replaced in her affections by his grandchilde.

When dusk began to settle over the town, she stopped stalling and walked toward his apartment near the Bronze.  She stood outside the door for several minutes, just staring at the familiar wood and lost in her memories of long ago.  When the door opened to show a puzzled Angel on the other side, she shook herself out of her reverie and smiled kindly.

“How are you feeling?”

“I might ask you the same thing.  How long were you planning to stand out there before you knocked?  Or were you planning to come in at all?”

She heard the barely disguised hurt in his voice and shook her head as she walked past him into the room.  Glancing around at the familiar, spartan furnishings, she sighed and sat in one of the chairs.

“Of course I was planning to come in.  I just got lost in memory-land for awhile, that’s all.”  She looked up at him and smiled crookedly.  “You guys might have to get used to seeing ‘spaced-out-Buffy’.  I have a feeling that’s going to happen more than once.”

He sighed and sat down opposite her.  “I suppose we will.  Is this where you fill me in on why you don’t love me anymore?  Because if it’s due to what you saw with Drusilla, I warned you--”

She looked at him in surprise, amazed that he had brought it up so abruptly, but she made no attempt to reassure him.

“Angel,” she began slowly, wondering how best to get him to understand without revealing too much about her relationship with Spike, “I still love you.  You will always have a place in my heart.  You are--were my first serious boy friend, and I Ioved you with every fiber of my sixteen year old body.

“But I’m not that sixteen-year-old girl anymore.  I grew up.  And I had to do that growing up very quickly – in large part because of Angelus.”

“What did I—he—do to you?” he spoke through gritted teeth and she could see tears behind his eyes.   “Is that why you don’t want me any more?”

She shook her head and tried to explain.  “My feelings for you, my inability to kill you when I first had the chance, caused a lot of pain, both physical and emotional, for the people I care about.   It’s not so much about what you did to me, as it is about what my shirking of my duty allowed you to do to my friends.  I had to toughen up and it wasn’t much fun.”

She looked him in the eye and said calmly, “In my time line, you were Angelus for much more than one day.  And you didn’t spend that time shagging Dru.  Not all of it, anyway,” she added with a rueful smile.

“What kinds of things did I do?” he asked, staring hard at his feet.  He wanted to call her on using Spike’s word for sex, but something told him he didn’t want to know where and when she learned it.

“Can we just leave it at you weren’t a very nice guy to be around?” she asked hopefully.

“I want to know, Buffy.  I want to know what Angelus did.”

She studied him for a minute, then said abruptly, “You know you and Angelus are the same person, right?  Cause I’m not buying the whole split personality thing the way I used to.”

“I have no control over Angelus, Buffy.  You know that.  He has no soul.”

“Neither does Spike,” she said quietly.  “But he’s never killed or tortured my friends – well, except for smacking Xander around, anyway.”

“Can’t blame him for that,” Angel muttered.  “Boy’s almost as big a pain in the ass as Spike is himself.”

He looked up at her fearfully.  “I killed and tortured people?  I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Only in the ‘my boyfriend suddenly hates me and wants me dead’ sense of the word.”

“I’m so sorry, Buffy.”

“Relax, that’s my Angel.  You haven’t done any of those things.  All you’ve done is give Dru a lot of happies, and tried to kill me once.  No biggie.”

He gawked at her.  “No biggie?”

“Not when compared to…”

He squeezed his eyes shut, then said quietly.  “How did I lose my soul in your time?  Was it the same way?”

Buffy blushed from her roots to her toes.  “Uh…well, in a way…but not, not exactly.”  She couldn’t prevent her eyes from moving to the bed in the corner.

He followed her gaze to his bed, then looked back at her flaming face and understanding flew across his features.

“You,” he said with a gasp.  “I lost it when I made love to you.”

“Yes,” she said, still blushing.  “Hey, who knew Dru could make you that happy too?”  She tried to change the subject away from sex with her.

“Happy?”

“Uh, yeah, turns out that’s the little catch in the curse.  One moment of complete happiness and it’s bye-bye soul.”

He sat in silence for a minute, going over what he was learning about himself.

“So, that’s why we aren’t together? Because if we –if I have that moment of perfect happiness, I lose the soul?”

“Well, that’s one of the reasons why you left me, yes.  It’s complicated, Angel.  You left, we both moved on. Things changed.”

They were quiet for a minute, then the vampire said, “Giles is looking into a way to anchor the soul.  The gypsy woman is going to help him.”

He raised hopeful eyes to hers.  “So, someday…”

Buffy shook her head sadly.  “No, Angel.  I want you to get your soul anchored.  No question about that.  It’s way too shaky to suit me right now.  But it isn’t going to change…us…me.  You will always have a piece of my heart, but the rest of it belongs to someone else now.  Someone who earned it the hard way.”

“Are you going to tell me who it is?”

“Not right now, I’m not.  Who knows? It’s …possible…he won’t fall in love with me this time…things are so different now.”

Her chin trembled just enough to be noticeable, and she blinked back the tears threatening to fill her eyes.  With a little shake, she threw off the fear that Spike would never come back and gave Angel a sympathetic smile.

“But he has my heart, whether he wants it or not.  And that’s never going to change.”

“Never’s a long time, Buffy.”  Angel smiled, his over 200 years of existence having given him some perspective that even grown-up Buffy still lacked.

After another few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Buffy stood up and said,  “Well, I just needed to see how you were doing.  I have to go patrol now and maybe check up on the Master’s old gang and see how many Spike left standing.”

“I could come with you,” he offered hopefully.  “There’s no reason for us to not be friends, is there?  I can still help you.”

She studied his open face for a minute, seeing nothing but affection and a willingness to continue to fight on her side.  She shrugged and agreed readily.

“Sure, Angel.  All slayage help is gratefully accepted.  As long as you don’t get in my way or go into over-protective mode.”

“Grown-up and fully capable Slayer.  I think I got that message pretty well yesterday, “ he said ruefully, pointing to the bruises still visible on his face.

“You had it coming,” she said, smiling apologetically.

“I probably did, at that,” he agreed as he picked up his jacket.  “So, we’re on for a bit of dusting before dinner?”

“Yep.  Bad guys look out. Here we come.”



On the deck of a ship, working it’s way across the Caribbean Sea, a blond vampire stared over the dark water and tried to erase the memory of a warm body moving under his, and soft, supply lips kissing their way over his face and throat.  As always happened, the more he tried to forget what she felt like, the harder he got and more he craved another taste of her.  He knew Dru was getting suspicious about his lack of interest in reclaiming her affections from Angelus and he headed for their below-decks room determined to put his throbbing erection to good use and make her believe he still loved her.

Unfortunately, it didn’t go as well as he’d hoped at first, as the dark-haired vampires hissed at him when he began kissing his way down her throat and running his hands over her body.  He persisted, murmuring endearments to her and touching her in all the ways he knew she liked, until she relented and, with one of her mercurial changes in mood, she sank her teeth into his neck and growled with passion.  As he lost himself in the violent, bloody and erotic play, Spike was almost able to forget another body that was just as strong and passionate, but warm where his dark princess was cold.  Almost.

By the time the cruise ship got them to the coast of Venezuela, his constant attention had convinced his lover of over 100 years that he had done what he did out of love for her, not any desire to help the Slayer, and they drifted back into a life of nightclubs, hunting and sex in airy hotel rooms.

And if, in the middle of their daytime sleep, she occasionally whimpered for Angelus, or he clutched her body and silently mourned the lack of warmth, neither was willing to admit the other’s temporary lapse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


And so, things went back to normal in Sunnydale.  Or as normal as they can be when you are Heaven’s Chosen One and live on a Hellmouth.  Buffy struggled to maintain her friendships with her much younger schoolmates and enjoyed frustrating Principal Snyder by making all “A’s”.  Without Spike and Angelus to worry about, she wasn’t having to skip classes often enough to register on his radar.  She would occasionally find him following her around the building, as though he was sure if he just watched her long enough, hard enough, he would catch her doing something for which he could punish her.

Most of the time, she would pause and wait for him to almost run into her before turning around and greeting him with a sweet smile and a “How are you today, Mr. Snyder?”, but every once in awhile she couldn’t resist using her Slayer speed or strength to disappear when he wasn’t looking and come back toward him from a completely different direction .  The ratty looking little man would stutter and sputter, but had no answer when she would ask innocently, “Have I done something wrong, Mr. Snyder?”

Even Giles, who tried very hard to maintain a British stiff upper lip in the face of her activities, couldn’t help laughing quietly at the annoying little man’s obvious frustration.  Even as he accused her of being childish, he was thoroughly enjoying watching his boss being made a fool of.  There was too much Ripper still in the older man for him not to enjoy the sight of a pompous ass being brought down.

Buffy and Willow drifted back into an easy friendship, made easier by the red-head’s interest in magic and her questions about her future self.  The Slayer did her best to steer her friend away from the dark magics, while at the same time assuring her that she was going to become a very powerful witch and be enormously helpful in the future.

When Willow and Oz became an item, Buffy was able to subtly let the werewolf know that she knew about him, and she helped him explain it to Willow. They were able to keep him in and safe from the bounty hunter that came to town, but there was nothing Buffy could do about their future together except vow to be there for her friend when the crash came.

It was more difficult for Buffy to fall back into a relationship with Xander.  In addition to finding his girl friend shallow and boring, Buffy could not forget Xander’s hatred of Spike in her time, and his attempt to kill him after she had declared a truce with the vampire in this one.

Things remained very strained between the two former best friends, until Willow couldn’t stand it anymore and made them both sit down with her and talk it out over hot chocolate.

“Guys, I love you both, and you are killing me with the not talking, and the dirty looks.  Can we please work this out so I can have both my friends back?  I mean, not that I don’t have you both as friends, but it would be nice if we could all be in the same room at the same time, you know?”  Her eyes pleaded with them as she paused for breath.

Buffy bit her lip, then allowed, “I may be blaming Xander for things he did in my future, and that’s not fair of me.”  She turned to look at the anxious-looking boy,   “But, I’m having a very hard time forgiving you for shooting Spike when I had promised him he could leave Sunnydale safely.”

“Is that the only reason you’re so mad at me, Buffy?  Because I broke your promise? Cause, I’ve gotta say, keeping promises to the evil undead? Not real high on my list.”

“Keeping promises to anybody I make them to, is very high on my list, Xander.  That would especially true when the other person is keeping his promise to not eat my friends and to help me save somebody I care about.”

Her angry green eyes bored into his until he dropped his gaze and mumbled, “Okay, I guess I can see that.  I’m sorry I tried to dust Spike.  I just thought—“

“You just thought you were helping.  I get that, Xander.  Really I do. But you can’t help me by going behind my back like that and making your own decisions about killing people.”

“Vampires, Buffy.  We’re talking about dusting vampires.”

“And, again, I remind you, you are talking about a vampire that in my time has helped me save the world.  A vampire that has saved your life more than once.  Granted, this Spike isn’t there yet.  And I’m not saying you should invite him in for dinner if he comes back to Sunnydale.  But I am saying that nobody but me makes any decisions about dusting Spike or Angel.  They are my vampires – to slay or not slay.”

“All right,” he agreed with a sigh.  “I promise not to harbor homicidal thoughts about the undead, if you promise not to let them eat me.”

“Agreed,” she said with a small smile.  “Shake on it?”

“How about a hug on it?” he asked hopefully. 

She was about to refuse when it occurred to her that she could make a small point about their relationship without saying a word and she nodded and stood up.  When he put his arms around her and pulled her into his body for a hug, she reciprocated by putting her arms around him and squeezing, using just a small amount of her strength, but enough to make it obvious that a strong hug would have broken his ribs.  When he began to gasp for air and whimper, she smothered her smile and instead let go immediately, saying, “Oh, my god, Xander.  Did I hurt you?  I’m so sorry.  I’m not used to…I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Uh, no,” he wheezed,  “No problem.  Just…I’m human, you know? Breakable.”

“I’m sorry.  I forget sometimes that I have to be so careful with human bo-men. “

He gave her a searching look, wondering if she was talking specifically about him or in general about all men.  And, if it was all men, then who or what had she been dating for the next several years?  Surely she wasn’t still with Angel in her time?  She’d pretty much told him in front of them that they weren’t together anymore.  It briefly crossed his mind that she had talked about how close she and Spike were in the future, and he shuddered to think she had taken up with another vampire – and one without a soul.

He shrugged it off to worry about another day, just happy that they were still going to be friends.  His love-hate relationship with Cordelia was more than enough to keep him from obsessing over Buffy the way he had when she first moved to Sunnydale and her constant reminders that she was much older than he just added to his ability to be realistic about his chances of having anything romantic with her. 

Chapter Nineteen

As the year went on, Buffy was able to endure the now trivial-seeming events of high school by spending more time with Giles and Jenny and less time in school activities.  Even Angel, now that he had apparently accepted her true status, sometimes treated her as an equal rather than as something precious to be protected at all costs.  And when he didn’t, when he became overbearing and tried to make decisions for her, she was quick to remind him that she’d been doing fine without him for years and that she did not appreciate his attempts to run her life.

After a particularly virulent dressing down by the Slayer when all he’d tried to do was suggest that he be the one to enter the Master’s old lair and check on the Anointed One, he decided to use it as an opportunity to soften her attitude toward him. 

He hung his head dejectedly and as he apologized for usurping her responsibilities, he asked hesitantly, “Buffy, are you sure you aren’t angry at me for decisions I made in your timeline?  Because, I’ve really been trying hard here, but it seems like nothing I can do pleases you.”  He fixed her with sad, brown, puppy dog eyes and inwardly rejoiced when she immediately apologized and touched his hand warmly.

“Oh my god, Angel.  You are so right.  I’m taking it out on you that in my time you decided I was better off without you and left without even asking me if I agreed.  I guess I’m still a little pissed about that.”  She shook her head at herself and added, “I am so sorry!  I’ve been resenting you for something you haven’t done yet.”

Her anxious eyes looked into his with affection and concern as she moved closer.  He smiled to himself as he took note that she had really been upset at losing him.

(She probably still loves me. She’s just afraid to admit it. Afraid that I’ll do the same thing to her again.  All I have to do is convince her that I will never leave her, and she’ll let down her defenses.)

“And, I probably won’t, Buffy,” he said with sincerity.  “Since we don’t have that kind of relationship now, there’s no reason for me to leave.  I can stay here and help you.”

He beamed at her with delight and she struggled to smile back at him as the possible repercussions of his staying in Sunnydale played out in her head.

“Un, yeah.  I guess that’s true…You’ll be all here and I’ll be here and we’ll both be here and…that’ll be just…great.”

(Oh yeah. That’ll be great! I’ll be trying to seduce Spike, and Angel will be hovering around trying to protect me from him.  And when the Initiative comes along, I’ll have two vampires to protect.  Assuming they haven’t killed each other by then.  Gah!)

Outwardly, she tried to be as upbeat as possible about the thought of Angel hanging around Sunnydale for the next several years, but inside she was moaning at the impending train wreck she could see coming.

Vowing to encourage Angel to think about moving to LA as soon as graduation was over, she pushed the worry to the back of her mind and tried to concentrate on what to do about the Anointed One’s continued existence.

(Damn Spike!  Why didn’t he get rid of that little brat before he left?  Oh yeah, that’s right.  He was busy trying to figure out why I had the hots for him.  Way to go, Buffy.  Now I’ve got to do something about him.)

Telling Angel she’d see him later for patrol, she headed for her house on Revello Drive.  She and her mother had formed the habit of sharing a cup of hot chocolate every evening either before or after Buffy’s patrol, depending on how late a start she got.  They hadn’t discussed at all Buffy’s willingness to spend time with her mother, and she hoped that Joyce was attributing it to the more mature Buffy wanting to spend more time around adults. When Joyce put down her cup and said, “So, when do you plan to tell me what happens to me?” she realized that her mother was too smart for that scenario.

“Wha---what?” she stalled for time, not at all willing or ready to have a conversation about her mother’s tumor and consequent death.

“Buffy, as much as I love you; and as much as I enjoy our little talks every night, I know this togetherness is no more typical for a twenty-something woman than it is for a teenager.  There is a reason you want to spend so much time with me, and I think I have a right to know what it is.”

Buffy looked at her mother and couldn’t prevent the tears from forming in her eyes.

“Mom, I’m not trying to hide anything from you.  I just know it’s too early to try to do anything about it and I don’t want you living with the burden of knowing…”

“Knowing when I’m going to die?” her mother asked quietly.

“You’re NOT going to die!  Not this time!  I won’t let you!”

Joyce raised her eyebrows.  “I’ve learned quite a bit in the past few months about your powers and your calling, but I don’t recall miracle working among them.”

“It won’t take a miracle.  You just need to get it taken care of sooner.  Earlier surgery means less surgery. And less surgery means less chance of …problems after.”

“And earlier meaning…”

“Not for another couple of years.  Then you’re going in for a CAT scan every six months if I have to break into the hospital and do it myself.”

Her mother studied Buffy’s resolute face for several minutes, then relaxed and said, “Okay, Buffy.  I won’t mention it again for awhile.  If you promise not to walk around here treating me like something fragile.  Deal?”

She smiled at her mother through watery eyes.  “Ok, deal.”

“All right then.  Go do your patrol.  And for heaven’s sake, go do something fun afterwards!  I’ll be fine.  I’m perfectly capable of putting myself to bed when I think it’s time to do so.”

“Okay, Mom.  More slaying, less mom-watching.   For a little while, at least.” 

She gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek and collecting her stakes, walked out into the quiet night. 

During their nightly talks over hot chocolate, Buffy had opened up to her mother about her life as the Slayer much more than she had the first time.  She talked to her mother about her blind adoration of Angel, her conviction that he was the love of her life, her devastation when he left for LA, and her attempt to have a normal life with Riley.  She left out her mother’s death, the arrival of a half-grown kid sister who was really a ball of mystical energy, and, for obvious reasons, her own death and resurrection.

“And where does the attractive blond vampire fit into this picture?” her mother had asked. 

“Pretty much wherever he could,” Buffy admitted with a small sigh.  Without going into details, Buffy explained as best she could about her rocky relationship with Spike.  She explained that he had fallen in love with her while she was involved with Riley and that it had taken a long time for her to accept the truth of his devotion.  And even longer for her to admit to herself that he was important to her.  She didn’t say so, but her mother could definitely tell that her daughter was very much in love with the good-looking vampire. 

When Buffy explained that Spike had obtained a soul for her, and that he’d let that soul incinerate him from the inside out in order to save the world, she couldn’t stop the tears.  Joyce patted her hand sympathetically until Buffy was able to stop crying and tried to think of how she wanted to ask her next question.

“Buffy, why do you think you’re here?  Why do you think you were sent back by these…Powers That Be?  Is that the correct term for them?”

“It’s not what Spike calls them,” she answered with a wry smile, “but it’s what they are, I guess.”  She thought for a minute, then said, “I think I was sent back to fix things.  Things that maybe weren’t meant to happen.  Maybe Kendra was meant to die when she did.  So there was nothing I could do about that.

“But there are things coming that I CAN fix.  I can, maybe, help Faith before she goes all evil on us.  I can stop the Initiative before Adam escapes.  I can hide Dawn from Glory—“ she paused at her mother’s puzzled frown.  “Oops, sorry, Mom. TMI. You’ll get it later.”  She stopped again, “Now where was I?  Oh yeah.  I know what Glory’s alter ego is like; I know what the troll hammer can do to her, so I should be able to stop her before I…

“and if I do, then I won’t have to be brought back and I won’t be so…broken…when Spike and I…and there won’t be any imbalance, so no First Evil, so no barbequed Spike, and Buffy lives happily ever after!”

She finished her recitation triumphantly and looked at her mother with great pride only to see Joyce shaking her head sadly.

“Oh, Buffy, if only life were that simple.  And, you do realize I didn’t understand a word you said?”

The blond Slayer laughed with embarrassment.  “Yeah, Mom. I know.  I just got a little carried away.  That’s one reason why I’m not telling anybody everything I know about the coming years.  I don’t really know what exactly is going to happen, because everything’s already different now.  I just know that if the things I DO know about begin to happen, I’ll have a better chance of avoiding the mistakes I made last time.”




In a beautiful stucco home behind a tall wall, Drusilla danced around the atrium in the moonlight.  Spike sprawled in a chair, watching her spin and smiling indulgently.  Although he and his dark princess had settled back into a comfortable companionship, liberally spiced with mayhem and violent sex, something felt off to him. 

Although Dru had always been as fond of blood as the next vamp, and had a thing for children that made Spike uncomfortable if he was honest about it, she had never been overly violent.  In fact, until recently, she had enjoyed his murmured endearments and tender kisses when they were making love.  Now, she never missed an opportunity to score his marble skin with her sharp nails, or to rip his skin with her teeth.  And she wanted him to do the same.

When she begged him to hurt her “like daddy would”, it made him so angry he had no trouble granting her wish.  He would shake her while she laughed hysterically and talked about sunshine and golden dollies floating around him.

She would snarl and growl at him when he tried to calm her down, only giving in to his whispered pleading for love when he got angry and pinned her to the bed snarling and snapping at her face.  Then she would coo at him that he was her ‘bad doggy” and her “naughty Spike” and spread her legs for him.

Lately, she’d taken to wandering out in the night without him, coming back just before dawn to express surprise that he had been searching the bars and back alleys for her all night.

“But Sweet William, you were lost in your thoughts of sunshine and dollies.  I could see her floating all around you.  She wants my Spike, the dolly does.  She has my daddy and now she wants my Spike.  But she won’t have them.  They’re mine to play with.”

He knew she was talking about the Slayer; that she’d seen or sensed something, but he continued to ignore her, pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about.  Only his guilt about his one night with the Slayer kept him from beating her when she came back smelling of other demons and smiling to herself.

(Love’s bitch, indeed) he grumbled to himself. (The Slayer sure had that right. I’m a complete wanker when it comes to the women I love.  Woman! The woman I love!)

Shaking himself, he stood up abruptly and grabbed Dru’s arm, whirling her around in a manic dance before suggesting they go out and try to find someone good to eat.  Nodding her head and clapping her hands, his dark princess led him to the gate and out into the warm South American night.

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