Chapter 1: Looking Back


Buffy Summers was a 21-year-old woman who was taking care of her sister. Their mother died because of brain cancer and Buffy was left with Dawn’s custody. They didn’t have a lot of money so Buffy was looking for a job. When she hadn’t found a job in 2 weeks. Which wasn’t strange because she just didn’t finished highschool because of her problems at home, she became desperate and finally settled with a job as a hooker.

Buffy was sitting at her table; surrounded by pictures of her and the people she loved more than anything. She was looking through them when something caught her eye. It was a picture with her and Spike. She looked at it and thought back to the day when Spike left.

“Xander, you can’t go. You can’t leave me alone with mom and Dawn, you’re my big brother. You can’t just leave!” Buffy, the 15-year-old girl, desperately cried to her 16-year-old brother. She was standing in the livingroom with her hands on her hips. She was just angry and sad, the emotions were just mixed into one dangerous combination. Buffy really didn't want the man, who was besides her brother also her best friend, to leave her alone with a sister who depended on her.

“Buffy, we have to go. The band just isn’t working for us anymore. Sure we’re a big hit here in Sunnydale, but we want to be famous! We can’t do that in this crappy little town. You do understand that right?” He said to his little sister. Of course he understood her; he didn’t like to leave her either. Dawn and Buffy were everything to him; it wasn’t easy for him to leave. And what about his mother? After his dad left he’d taken the job as ‘the man of the house’. What would she do without him? Xander knew she would understand, she always wanted what was best for her children, but she would cry and he couldn't take it when she cried because of him. He was a sucker for the women in his family.

“How are you gonna do that Xander? Think! Who’s gonna take care of you?” She nearly screamed. She would miss him SO much. Couldn’t he just stay? Life wasn’t fair, she just lost her father, who was probably busy fucking his secretary, and now she would lose her brother too? What did she do wrong?

“We’re gonna take care of each other. Spike, Devon and me. You don’t have to worry, I’m gonna be just…" Buffy looked like she was in a daze. "Buffy are you listening? Are you all right? …Please talk to me!” Xander asked his little sister. She just zoomed out while he was
talking. What would make her…? Uhhhh… right… Spike! His little sister was in love with his best friend for 3 years now. No wonder why she would react this way.

‘Spike is gonna go too? Isn’t losing my brother enough? Why is everyone against me, why can’t...' she stopped thinking when she heard her brother shouting her name. She looked up at him and at the expression of his face. She could tell she must have drifted off for a while. She always did that when she was thinking of Spike, she couldn’t help herself.

“Finally… as I was saying, I have to leave. Don’t you want to see me happy?”

Xander used the "don't you want me to be happy?" Routine. It didn't work as well as he wanted it to.
“Of course I do Xander, it’s not that, it’s just… I don’t want to lose you, don’t you see? You’re my big brother and when you’re all famous and surrounded by half-naked girls you won’t think of my again.” She said with a shaking voice. She was scared SO scared of losing Spike and her brother. What would she do with a sick mother and a little sister without someone telling her she would get through it?

“I sure hope I won’t think of you when I’m surrounded by half naked girls. That would just put me right out of my mood.” He said trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

“God Xander! Could you just be serious for one second? This isn’t time for jokes. I’m gonna lose you!” Buffy shout as loud as she could. She was gonna make him stay.

“Buffy listen to me, you’re not gonna lose me. I’m gonna write, e-mail and visit you as much as I can ok? You’ll grow tired of me, I promise.” He whispered softly. He didn’t want to leave her as much as she didn’t want to lose him.

“Promise?” She asked with an unconvinced look on her face.

“Promise. And you know I never break a promise.” Xander said while he walked out of the living room. Leaving her to think to herself about the current situation.

“I know… I just hope this won’t be the first time.” She whispered to herself. She knew Xander didn’t break any promises, but she couldn’t help wondering if he wouldn’t break this one. She just hoped she was wrong.

Buffy felt a tear slide across her cheek. It was so long ago. She remembered everything. The yelling, the crying and… the promise. The promise her brother kept… for about 3 weeks. After he became famous, she didn't hear from her brother since then. After waiting for about a week she started calling him herself, but every time he was busy, or just wasn’t there. The person who would usually answer the phone was, probably Xander’s secretary, said she would tell him that he should call her back… if she really did that, why didn’t he ever call her back? He didn’t even come to the funeral when Joyce, their mother, the person who loved him so much died. He abandoned his entire family. He did leave a message though, saying that he couldn’t come, and saying that he couldn’t handle it. Buffy didn't believe it. He was so consumed with his ego to care about his old life. The life that contained his dead mother and his frightened sisters. If he‘d come back, everything would’ve been better. She probably wouldn’t have been a hooker just to make ends meat for her and her little sister.

The job wasn’t really that bad though, she got paid enough. But every night after work the first thing she would do was wash herself till she was all red. She felt dirty, and she didn’t like it, She didn't like being others men's "toy". But she didn’t stop the job, she never even thought about stopping it. She knew that without the money she earned, they wouldn’t make it. They needed the money, so she needed the job. It seemed like the best escape from her family problems and for enough money to survive but still… she couldn’t stop hoping for a better life. A life without being a hooker. But without that, she didn’t really have anything to complain. She had a house, friends, a lovely sister and of course a…

“Mommy, what are you doing up?”


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Chapter 2: Where is my daddy?


“Mommy, what are you doing up?” Buffy looked behind her and saw her daughter standing there in her pajamas with a tired look on her face. Her eyes were half closed and she looked like she was just recovering from a hangover.

“The question isn’t what am I doing up, the question is; what are you doing up little one? Are you having stomach cramps again?” She asked her 4-year-old daughter Emma with a concerned look. Emma was having stomach problems a couple of months ago, nothing serious, but it was enough to make Buffy panic. Emma meant the world to her and she couldn’t imagine life without her. Even with the little things, like a cut, Buffy went ballistic. She was only 17 when she found out she was pregnant with her. Of course she was in shock at first, but who wouldn’t at that age? She was only 17 and now she had to take care of her sister AND a baby? It was too much, but now… she wouldn’t want it any different. She couldn’t imagine her life without Emma in it.

“I had a dream mommy. It wasn’t scary, but there was a man and he… he s...” Emma started. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to ask her mother this, but she wanted to know so badly. She looked at her mother with her big eyes.

Buffy looked at her daughter. Emma was a special little girl, she was much smarter than most kids her age. She was very mature for her age. At times Emma would say something that made Buffy think who was the 21-year-old and who was the 4-year-old.

“What did the man say honey? Did he say something mean?” Buffy asked concerned. Emma wasn’t scared easily, but when she was scared, her screams could wake up a whole town.

“He said that he came for us. That he couldn’t wait to… to have us, to be with us again. What does it mean mommy?” Emma asked her mother with a confused look on her face. She wasn’t scared, just confused. She knew the man wouldn’t hurt her, or her mom. She didn't know how or why, but she knew something she couldn't explain told her they would be allright.

“I don’t know baby, I really don’t know. But it was just a dream; you don’t have to be scared.” She told her, hugging her little girl tighter. She stopped hugging Emma when she asked her the one question that made Buffy silent.

“Mom? Where is my daddy?”

It took a while for Buffy to respond to her daughter. It was the first time that Emma had asked her that and she didn’t know how to answer it. She took a deep breath and looked at her little girl again.

“I don’t know Emma. I really have no idea. It was a long time ago when I last saw him.” Buffy looked at her daughter. She didn’t like to lie to her, but as she thought of it she realized she wasn't exactly lying. She didn’t know EXACTLY where he was, just that he was somewhere in LA.

“When was the last time you saw ‘im?” Emma asked looking intensely at her mother. She knew her mother didn’t like talking about him, but she also knew that she did think a lot about him. She would always stare into space and sometimes she would say his name, just whispering it… Spike.

“Do you have to go to LA? He isn’t coming home! Buffy, would you just let it go, I know I did.” Dawn pleaded with her sister .Her arms were crossed to show she was serious. She knew Buffy could take care of herself, but it was a strange and new city for them.

She knew that Buffy just couldn’t get over the fact that their brother left them. She was angry too, very angry. The jerk didn’t even come to the funeral of their own mother! She wanted her brother to come back, just to show him that they could make it without him! They didn’t need him; she wanted him to need them!

“I have to Dawnie and I can’t just let it go, he’s our brother for god’s sake. I need him, you need him!” Buffy tried to tell her sister. She knew why Dawn was so scared, after all; there are a lot of weird people in a big city like Los Angeles. But she didn’t want to think of that, she didn’t want to think of the dangers, she only wanted the think about Xander. How they were going to be a family again. She was going to get him back, no matter what she had to do.

After their mother died all she thought about was if they could only get Xander back,then they’d would be a family again. She just had to tell him that she needed him, that Dawn needed him!

“I don’t need him; he wasn’t here when mom died, so I don’t need him now. The only thing I need is you… here, with me….” She sighed. But, I know you have to do this. No matter what he would do, you’ll always be there for him, which is something I could never do Buffy. I could never do that, because he hurt me so much.” Dawn told her sister. Buffy knew she was fighting to hold back her tears. Buffy was always strong, she never cried and Dawn wanted to be like her, but Buffy always said that she could let it out, and then she did. She cried again and again till she physically couldn't cry anymore.

“I’ll always be here for you Dawnie, please believe me. I could never leave you.”

“I know Buffy.” She told her sister while hugging her like her life depended on it. She didn’t want to let her go. Buffy smiled when she was stuck inside her sister’s deep embrace. She didn’t want to let her go. After a couple of minutes Dawn finally let her go. Buffy kissed the top of her head, grabbed her suitcase and disappeared out of the door.

When she was hugging Dawn all the memories of Xander leaving came back to her. When she was hugging him, she didn’t want to let go either. There was only one thing different from that night; she was coming back!

To be continued


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Chapter 3: Getting drunk with you

After a long drive with the bus to LA she finally arrived at a little hotel called ‘Lilly’s flowers’ where she would spend the next weekend. She decided to spend her nights in this hotel because it wasn’t that expensive. She had enough money to have a proper life, but she wanted to be very careful and save as much as possible. She was scared of being broke, not being able to survive by herself. She needed to find a job. She walked in Lilly’s flowers and stopped at the reception to check in.

“Hello? I made a reservation to stay here… ehm… my name is Summers…Buffy Summers.” She told the lady that was supposed to help her. The lady had brown hair and it looked like she hadn’t putten a brush through it for years! Buffy wasn’t the type of person to judge a book by its cover, but damn! This girl needed help.

“Yes… Summers. I see… room 203. I hope you have a LOVELY stay here in Lilly’s flowers.” The lady said with a hint of sarcasm. Buffy didn’t like the way the lady said that. She was mean and looked at her like she saw a bug that needed to be squashed. Oh well… she shouldn’t be so negative… after all, she was going to see her brother… in just a couple of hours... Hopefully.

Buffy walked towards the elevator and saw the sign that said it was out of order. She sighed and ‘decided’ to take the stairs. When she finally saw her room she was completely exhausted. She had no idea it would be such a long walk to her room! She just hoped the elevator would be fixed soon, because there was no way she could go downstairs now without dropping unconscious.

4 hours later (11 p.m.)………….

After she had gotten a snack to eat she decided it was time to visit Xander. So here she was, standing in front of his house, the one he shared with Spike. She knew this because of the interviews she saw in all the popular magazines. That was the only way she could see here big brother nowaday.

She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She knocked again, a little harder this time. After waiting a little longer she sighed and gave up. She turned around and when she gotten about 3 steps further she heard somebody call her.

“Hey! You’re Buffy right?” When she saw Buffy’s strange look she added; “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Anya, I’m you’re brother’s girlfriend. I saw you on one of his pictures, you and a little girl… Dawn, I think her name was. You ARE Buffy right? I mean, you look different than on the pictures, but you do look like her.” Anya asked her with an unsure look. She didn’t really pay much attention to Xander’s talk about his family. Usually he was talking and she was trying to make out with him. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t listening to what he was saying! She could listen and have sex at the same time! At least that was what Anya tried to convince herself.

“Yes. Hi… I’m Buffy, but you already knew that. I’m sorry. I was actually looking for Xander. Do you know where he is?” Buffy asked the strange girl. She didn’t know Xander had a girlfriend. It wasn’t that surprising because she didn’t hear a thing from him, but she did hope she wasn’t with him because of his money. She didn’t think she was, this girl looked pretty nice.

“He’s probably at the ‘The Shadows’ it’s one of the
best clubs in town. You should really go there is you want to have some fun. The most girls go there because they know Xander and Spike are going to be there, you know Spike right?” At Buffy’s nod she continued “Anyway the fans go there and try to get close to them. Xander and Spike keep their distence though, I have nothing to be jealous about, Xander knows who is waiting for him to give him many orgasms.” She told Buffy with a confident look. Buffy watched her with an open mouth. She was open about everything even to strangers. She smiled a little, she knew she was going to like this girl, and she was just the type for her brother.

“Thanks Anya… that’s really… ehm… nice. Anyway, I think I’m gonna go to ‘The Shadows’. Can you give me the directions?” She asked Anya. After the complicated directions and a quick hug from Anya she started making her way to the club with an unsure look on her face. She hoped she wouldn't get lost, but anyway… she had a mouth to ask for directions if she did lose her way.

After a 15-minute walk she stood in front of ‘The Shadows’. She looked at the blinking letters that formed the word ‘Shadows’. To her surprise the bouncer let her in, he didn’t even ask for her id or anything.

Buffy was looking around, looking for her brother. Finally… there he was. She was so excited. She run to her brother and jumped in his arms.

“Ho there… if you want an autograph just ask, but I have a girlfriend you know. I’m not interested in… Buffy?” He asked when he saw the face of the young girl that literally jumped in his arms.

“Hi Xander. God… I missed you so much.” She said while hugging him again. In both of the Summer’s eyes were starting to form tears. Xander couldn’t believe his little sister was here, in his arms.

“Buffy. What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you… I am… It’s just…what are you doing here?” He asked with a confused look on his face. ‘Did something happen maybe. Was Dawn hurt? No, she would’ve just called me.’ He was thinking. Even if she did call he, he probably wouldn’t have called back. It wasn’t that he was neglecting her, it was just it too complicated. He knew he hurt her more than anything when he decided to go away. He simply just didn’t want to give her that pain again. He wanted to visit her so many times, but every time something came in the way.

“I came to get you back silly. You HAVE to come live with us again. You know…as a real family!” Buffy said with joy. He would finally come back… wait a minute… if he would come back… why was he looking so sad? “What’s with the sad look?” She asked her brother with a confused look. Why was he said at a moment like this?

“Buffy, I love you and Dawn more than anything in the world. But… I can’t go back. Here is my home. This is my life. I have everything here, work, a home, my friends, my…”

“…Girlfriend. Yes I know. I talked to her when I was at your apartment; she’s a nice girl. I liked her.” She said with a pained, but honest expression.

“Then you see why I can’t leave. I can’t leave her, and I can’t just take her with me. She has her job, she owns a shop and I have the band.”

“Yes I understand that she’s important. But not everything is here. Not your family, not the people who love you the most.” She looked at him with her big eyes.
Xander looked at her. “I have responsibilities to my job, Buff. I can’t just move to a different city.”

“I can’t believe you, what’s more important? Your job or your family?” Buffy practically shouted with tears falling from her eyes. She tried, she really tried to be calm, but he was just pissing her off. Didn’t he know that she needed him? She didn’t know what to do; all she knew is that she wanted her big brother back.

“Buffy please stop shouting. People are looking. Look… where are you staying? I can call you tomorrow after you cooled down…” Xander started, but when he saw her face he knew that he probably said the wrong thing.

“Cool down? Cool down! God Xander! How can you be like this! I thought you were my brother, I thought you would never leave me, never disappoint me! You know what? I don’t need you. We don’t need you! So much for keeping your promises. I guess there is a first time for everything” she said with a disgusted look on her face and with that she ran out of the club. ‘God I can’t believe him. All he cares about is his stupid job, the band this…the band that…! What about us, what about his fucking family?’ She was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t notice the man walking straight towards her.

“OEF!”

They both fell on the floor. “God! Can’t you watch were you’re going!” She yelled to the stranger while trying to stand up.

“Bloody hell! Listen pet, I wasn’t the only one that wasn’t watching were they were going!” He yelled to the girl that pissed him off. He didn’t notice her looking at him strangely till he was standing on his feet again. ‘God she’s so bleeding beautiful! Her blond her, green eyes, perfect curves… hey… why is she looking at me like that? Is she checking me out, if she is, she’s doing it really weird then.’

‘OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! It’s Spike! God he didn’t change one bit. Still the bleached blond hair, blue eyes, delicious cheekbones, black clothes and last but not least; the leather coat… wait, why is he looking at me like that. Oh my god, he doesn’t remember me. I know that I’ve changed, but I didn’t know that I changed THAT much! She used to have brown hair, but she coloured it a couple of months ago when she was stared to get tired of the colour. And she lost some baby fat, but other than that she hadn’t changed a thing. ‘Maybe he just didn’t notice me when we were younger.’ She thought sadly.

She stopped thinking about it when she saw Spike; he hadn’t stopped staring at her. What should I do… what should I do? Wait… did he just say something?’

“…Hurry, pet?”

“Hé? What?” She asked with a confused look. ‘What did he just say?’

He noticed she was nervous and his lips were forming an annoying smirk that Buffy loved so much.
“I asked where you were going in such a hurry.” He said. He looked at her again. She looked… familiar. Where had he seen her before?

“Oh… I was just going to my hotel really. I was planning on getting real drunk and then go asleep.” She said with a smile on her lips. He really didn’t recognize her! Part of her was sad, why didn’t he recognize her? Was she so forgettable? But part of her was excited.

This was just perfect, think of all the possibilities. Her lips formed a smirk of her own.

“Planning on getting drunk, Luv? Well, today is your lucky day; I’m in the mood for that too. Do you might if I join you?” He asked with a sexy voice while moving a piece of stranded hair behind her ear. Buffy felt her knees going weak; this was the Spike she knew. Sexy and confident and she didn’t want it another way.
At a bar…

“… And then he said that I had to cool down! Can you believe it?” She half shouted. She had 2 glasses of some kind of beer with a weird name and was already drunk. Spike had about 4 beers as many and started to feel a little ‘tipsy’ too.

Spike couldn’t believe the nerve off this guy. He was her brother! How could he hurt he like that, especially an angel like Anne!

Buffy decided to pretend like she didn’t know him, so she told him her name was Anne, which was actually her middle name. She told him about Xander, not telling him his name and changing the details of the story a little bit so he wouldn’t find out who she really was.

“His loss pet. You deserve much more than a brother like that. He should beg on his knees to get you to take him back. And to choose his job above his family! Pffffffff… I would never do that!” He answered. He really wouldn’t do that, his job was very important to him… of course! But he would give up everything to be with his family, if he had one, one day.

“You want to go for a walk pet?” He asked her. She didn’t look so very good.

“Yeah sure.” She started to get up, but her legs wouldn’t work, so she fell on the ground. Spike was getting her up immediately. He put the money for the drinks on the counter, scooped her up and carried her outside, into the cab. Which was already there. He carried her in before he climbed in himself; he closed the door behind them.

“Where to, Luv?” He asked.

“Uhm… Lilly’s flowers.” She answered with a shy look, she didn’t want him to know that she didn’t have that much of money and when you were sleeping at Lilly’s Flowers, it usually meant that you were short on cash. Xander told her once when he was visiting LA.

‘Bloody hell! Lilly’s Flowers? She’s staying in Lilly’s Flowers? Like hell she is!’ He looked at the girl next to him, there was only one option left. He turned to the cabdriver and gave him his address and the cab drove away to its destination.

“Where are we going?” She asked. She knew she wasn’t going to Lilly’s Flowers, she heard him saying a different street.

“We are going to my private house, pet. I live with a friend but I don't think he'd appreciate me bringing a stranger home. We're going to my beach house. You’re all right with that?” He asked, hoping that she was. He liked Anne very much and wouldn’t mind to spend the night with her, if she wanted too, that is. Usually he was a perfect gentleman, he wouldn’t go with girl to bed on the first date, but something about this girl was making him all weird inside, he never felt anything like it.

“Okay, yeah it’s fine.” She answered. She was in love with Spike since she was 12, now she was 17 and he was 19 and she still felt the same way. But he could never love her; he would never see Buffy as more than just his best friend’s sister. Just because he couldn’t feel anything for Buffy, which doesn’t have to mean that he couldn’t feel anything for Anne. She wouldn’t mind, DEFINITELY wouldn’t mind to spend the night with Spike, he was everything she would ever want in a man.

When the cab stopped Spike paid him and carried Anne to the house. He put her down for a minute to unlock his door. The minute Spike closed the door behind him Buffy was on him, smashing her mouth against his. Spike was surprised but very pleased and started kissing her back with the same passion she was giving him; he was burning for this girl! Seriously!
Buffy opened her mouth and their tongues dueled in a passionate fight.

Buffy backed off for a minute to take her shirt off and resumed kissing the man she had loved for years. Buffy couldn’t get enough of him; she needed to feel his naked skin against her. So she starting tearing at his shirt, buttons were flying everywhere. When Spike’s shirt was completely off he put his hands on her waist to bring her closer and he started nibbling and kissing her neck.

Buffy started breathing heavily and when he massaged her breast through her bra, she couldn’t help the moan that slipped from the back of her throat. She pulled his head up to kiss him again. He unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the ground to reveal a black lacy thong that was identical to her bra. He moved his mouth to her cheek, neck and started fumbling with her bra. When it finally fell to the ground he took a step back to worship the beauty in front of him. He couldn’t believe that he was so lucky to have this angel in front of him. There she stood in nothing but a black thong. Her perky breasts were beautiful and her nipples were already hard. He wanted nothing more than to take them into his mouth and suck on them till she begged him to fuck her, but first… he decided that he was way to overdressed. And seeing the look on her face, he wasn’t the only one who thought that.

He took his pants and socks off untill he was dressed in nothing but a big smile.
He practically ran to kiss her again. The kiss wasn’t tender or sweet; it was hard, demanding and full of need. He moved to her breasts and started licking her, going everywhere but her nipples which left Buffy panting with need.

“Please… oh god… Spike, please I want…” she moaned, finally….

Spike started sucking on her nipples making them even harder then they already were. He sucked on them softly but when she grabbed his head and pushed him even further to her breasts he sucked on them… harder this time. She moaned, panted and gasped for air.

“You like that baby… I like it too… love sucking these tits of yours, making your sweet nipples all hard. Could suck on these sweet titties all night.” Spike said in a voice full off lust and want.

When Buffy couldn’t take it anymore she grabbed his head again so he was forced to look into her eyes. With 3 little words she told him exactly what she needed.

“I want you…”



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Chapter 4: The consequences


When Buffy couldn’t take it anymore she grabbed his head again so he was forced to look into her eyes. With 3 little words she told him exactly what she needed.

“I want you…”

God this girl was making him crazy. He hadn’t wanted someone as much as he wanted her right now at this moment. He moved his hand to her panties and ripped them off her. He wanted her more than anything, but he also wanted her to come one time before he was inside of her. He wanted to make this girl feel as much pleasure as he could give her.

He looked into her eyes and smiled at her. He had all kinds of feelings he had never felt before, certainly not on a first date, it wasn’t even a date they had just drank a little bit. Well, a little bit... It was strange; he didn’t want to just fuck her… no… he wanted to make love to her. And God help him… he was gonna do just that.

He kneeled in front of her so he was looking straight at her pussy. She smelled so fucking good. Sweeter then any pussy he had ever smelled. He looked at Buffy and saw that she was nervous. Didn’t she want to go through with it? He wanted her more than anything, but he wasn’t going to force her into something that she really didn’t want to. He was about to ask her if she wanted to stop… when he saw something else in her eyes, lust. She didn’t want to stop! But if she didn’t, then why was she...no?

“Nobody went down on you before, did they?” He asked while he stood up. Bloody wankers! Who wouldn’t want to worship every single part of this goddess? He sure did!

“No” she answered with a shy smile, turning slightly red. She had sex with many guys because of her ‘career’ but nobody ever paid to get down on her. They just wanted to stick their cocks inside of her and forget about their wives or their pathetic lives. They didn’t care about her needs, Spike did. But what if she tasted bad down there? She could almost laugh at that. She had never felt nervous about what a man would think of her, but with him she worried about the strangest things.

“Don’t worry Anne. It will feel good, I promise… Let me take care of you. Let me make you feel good, baby.” He whispered. He kneeled down again and kissed her on her pussy. ‘God she tastes so good. She tastes just like honey!’

“God you taste so good!” He told her before he licked along her slit. He wanted to eat her good and proper, he couldn’t wait to taste her for real.

‘God how can this feel so good? Don’t let this stop… please don’t ever let this stop!’ Buffy begged. ‘What is he…?’

“Uhhhh!” She moaned. The feeling of his tongue inside her felt so good. If he didn’t stop she would come in less than a second.

Spike was finger-fucking her now while he sucked and nibbled on her clit. Buffy held his head and pushed her pussy against his face. She couldn’t take it anymore she had to… had to…

“Spike!…Uhhhh! Oh god…so good, Spike!” Buffy screamed. Spike felt her juices fill his mouth and licked her till she was clean. He stood up and kissed her, and forced her to taste her own juices. Buffy wanted him so much… so couldn’t wait. She hadn’t had an orgasm that fast before in her life! He sure knew how to pleasure a woman.

“I want you inside of me, please Spike.” She begged him. Spike couldn’t help but obey everything that his golden goddess told him. Spike lifted her up and moved them towards his bedroom, but when Buffy started to kiss his throat, he couldn’t hold her anymore and slammed her against the wall of the dining room.
Buffy put her hands on his cock and felt how hard and big he was. He was at least 10 inches and bigger than any guy she slept with. And there were a lot of them! She stroked him a couple of times, which made Spike groan. She smiled at the control she had over him. She guided his cock inside of her and wrapped her legs around his waist.

‘God he’s so big!’ she thought. ‘But GOD, it feels good!’ she screamed inside her head.
She had dreamt about this for years.

When he was a good 5 inches inside of her he slammed the rest inside of her. Buffy screamed of both pleasure and pain. Spike moved inside of her with slow and deep thrusts, but both knew they had to come, and fast! So when Buffy began meeting his thrusts he started to pound his cock inside of her, not holding back, which made their moans louder and more audible.

Spike reached down and pinched Buffy’s clit and she came with a scream of his name. Feeling her muscles clench around his cock made him slam inside her even harder and after a couple of thrusts he came too.

“Anne! Uhhhh!” He screamed. He had (thank god) enough strength left to carry Buffy to the bed and they cuddled up. Falling in sleep with a smile on their faces.

The next morning (4 am)…

Buffy awoke with an arm around her waist. She smiled, even with the headache that she felt, when she thought about last night, but the smile faded when she remembered that he didn’t even know who she was. For him she was just a one-night stand. For him, she was just Anne.

She couldn’t tell him the truth. She was scared he would be disgusted and freaked out. He would probably tell her to get out of his house and never come back. He would probably leave her, like Xander did. She couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t let another man leave her. Not this time…she would be the one leaving.

She carefully moved his arm to rest on the bed. She found her clothes in the living room. She looked around for her panties that he ripped off but she couldn’t find them.

‘Oh well. It’s not like I have any use at them anymore.’ She thought, thinking about last night when he had ripped the panties off, leaving them broken.

She made a move to open the door, but something made her stop. ‘I’m never gonna see him again, never gonna make love to him again.’ She thought. She couldn’t leave like this. She walked back to his bedroom and saw him still lying there on the bed. She smiled; he looked like a little baby. She walked towards him and kissed him softly on the lips, carefully not to wake him.

“I’m sorry Spike. I’ll always love you, no matter what.” She whispered in his ear. And with that she walked out of his house. Not looking back.

At the hotel she packed her stuff, got on the bus and made her way to Sunnydale… her home.

She would leave Xander and Spike behind her. They were the past…. or so she thought….

One and a half months later…

“Oh my god! I’m pregnant!” She screamed.

“So, when I found out I was gonna have you, I told Auntie Dawn and Willow and they helped me, because I couldn’t do it all alone.” She told her daughter who was listening with an interested look on her face. Of course she didn’t tell Emma the whole story, with the sex and all and the yelling, just the basics. That she loved her daddy more than anything and that they just couldn’t be together. She decided it would be better to tell her daughter the PG version.

When Emma yawned, Buffy picked her up in her arms and took her to her room. It was a typical girl’s room. The walls were painted pink and had a bed like the ones you saw in fairytales. Emma had a lot of stuffed animals that filled her room. Next to the pillow, was Mr. Gordo, Buffy’s old pig.

Emma crawled in her bed and Buffy pulled the covers up. She kissed Emma on her forehead. “Sweet dreams my little angel.” She whispered to her sleeping daughter.

Buffy walked to her room Her walls were covered with pictures of Emma and her friends. She walked to her clothes. She put on her nightgown and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After she was done she went back to her room and got into her bed. She soon fell asleep and dreamed about the day she told her best friend and sister she was pregnant.

“What do you mean, I’m pregnant?” Willow asked her best friend with shock written all over her face.
“What do you mean, what do I mean? I’m pregnant Will! I took a test and it’s positive!” She yelled at her best friend. What part of ‘I’m pregnant’ didn’t she understand?

“How… I mean, I know how, but… when? " Dawn asked her sister. She would’ve told her if she had a boyfriend right? They were sisters and they shared everything. Okay, the details could be left out, but the important stuff…

“OH MY GOD, a client got you pregnant. I thought you were being careful, and you don’t sleep with man for money that much anymore right? And when you do, you always use condoms, right? Did something happen at your new job? Did something happen at the strip clubs?” Willow asked Buffy. Buffy had a lot of secrets, but a keeping a new boyfriend from her, she would always tell her.

Buffy had practically stopped her profession as a hooker. Instead she stripped in a club. It made a little less money, but she felt a lot better about herself as a stripper than a hooker. She just couldn’t do it anymore after she found out that she was having Emma. She did sleep with guys for money sometimes, but only when she was in desperate need of money. But the most of her ‘hooker’ days were over.

“No! Nothing happened at the club, god Will, I would’ve told you otherwise.” Buffy said to her best friend. She really would have! She couldn't keep secrets from Willow especially when she used her resolve face.

“Okay… let’s stay calm. Take a deep breath.” When everyone in the room took a deep breath she continued; “Buffy, do you know who the dad is?” Willow asked her best friend.

“Oh god! Something happened in LA that I really need to tell you guys…” She started telling the whole story to her best friend and sister. Afterwards they looked shocked, but also happy, because they knew how much Buffy loved Spike.

“Are you gonna tell him, I mean… he deserves to knew, after all, he IS gonna be a father.” Dawn told her sister. She loved Spike too, not like her sister, but she loved him like a brother.

“No, I can’t tell him. I don’t want to. Besides, he doesn’t even know that he slept with me, just that he had a one-night stand with a drunken girl named Anne.” She told them with a sad look. Willow spoke up. "Buffy he will find out no matter what you do. It's inevitable. You can't keep secrets like these without consequences."

Buffy cried softly for her unborn child and Spike. Willow and Dawn pulled Buffy in a hug to calm down the vulnerable girl.

Buffy woke up at the feeling of something wet on her face. She looked at her alarm clock that read 7.43 a.m. When she looked at the mirror hanging next to her bed she noticed she was crying from the memories of her dream. She wiped the tears away, put on her robe and made her way to her downstairs.


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Chapter 5: meeting Anne


When she came downstairs, her daughter was already watching TV. She heard from many parents that their kids would wake them up early in the morning, but Emma always let her mother sleep. She only woke her up when she was really hungry, or on the most excited day of her life... her birthday.

“Good morning, mommy.” Emma greeted her mother with a cheer.

“You’re in a good mood today. Sleep well?” She asked her daughter. Emma wasn’t always this cheery in the morning; she got that from her father. Actually, she looked a lot like her father. The same eyes... so blue that you could drown in them, the nose, smirk, smile, ears, so much that reminded her of Spike. Well, the smirk of her daughter was a little different from the one from Spike. When her daughter smirked she looked like a little angel, but when Spike smirked he looked more like a devil. But Buffy loved every part of it.

“I’m going to stay with auntie Willow and uncle Oz this weekend, remember mommy? We’re going to the zoo! Auntie Willow pwomised! She said we could see the elephants and the zebras!” She said with excitement. Willow asked her to come over for the weekend, so Buffy could have a weekend of peace and quiet. She had thought that Buffy deserved a couple of nights of rest. Buffy wasn’t all too happy about it though, this would be the first weekend in almost 5 years she would be without her little girl and she was scared as death. She couldn’t help it; she couldn’t be without her baby girl.

“Yeah, I remember sweetie. We had to pack your stuff a week ago!” Buffy said with a pointed look. Emma was so excited that she begged Buffy to pack all of her clothes a week ago.

“Come on, we have to eat, auntie Willow is gonna be here in less than an hour, come on, let’s go.” Buffy ordered her daughter.

When Willow came to pick Emma up, she was ready to go. Buffy kissed her daughter and watched her get in Willow’s car. She thought about Willow’s words: it’s just for 2 days. Well, for Buffy that was 2 days to many. She was nervous, but also happy that she had a whole weekend for herself. She only had to work tonight, at the strip club. She worked at the club on Monday’s, Wednesday’s, Friday’s and Saturday’s. She wasn’t short on cash or anything, so she didn’t have to work on the streets.

A picture of her and Emma cut her eye. ‘God, she looks just like Spike,’ she thought. ‘Spike. I wonder were he is.’

10:31 p.m. at a gas station between LA and Sunnydale…

“Why the hell are we going to Sunnydale again?” A man asked his friend. Their car was heading to Sunnydale, the place he thought he’d never see again. Now they were at the gas station, buying something to eat. It was a forty-five minute ride left and he definitely wasn’t in the mood to go any further.

“Mate, it’s time to see the family again.” Spike told his best friend. Xander didn’t even call his family for over 5 years; it was time for a little family reunion. Spike also thought that family was the most important thing. He himself didn’t have any family; his father left when he was only four years old and his mother died when he was sixteen. Thankfully he had his uncle in Sunnydale who he could live with. He didn’t know what he would’ve done without his uncle.

“Maybe. I don’t think it's the right time to see them! They’re better off without me anyway.” He said with a look that could kill. He never told Spike that Buffy had looked for him. He knew that Spike would put him on a bus to Sunnydale straight away if he had told him.

“You don’t know that Xan. Maybe they’re living on the streets now. You’ll never know until you see it with your own eyes, man. Besides, the reason that you haven’t visit them isn't because you think there better off without you and you know it.” Spike guessed, and he guessed right.

“You don’t know anything Spike.” He said while Spike started the car.

“Maybe, you were afraid to show them how great your life was in LA, how much money you have by just playing guitar, when they are working their butts off for the little money they probably have. Or maybe, you were just thinking to much about Anya, I mean… she loves money, maybe you didn’t want her to see that you’re family wasn’t that rich as you are, but then again, maybe…” Spike started again, but was cut off by his friend.

“What about you Spike? Why haven’t you visited your so-called family? Maybe you were thinking too much about Anne.” Xander said.

“Don’t you start about Anne, Xander.” Xander had just hit a nerve, a big nerve. Now Spike was pissed. "Don’t talk about something you know nothing about.” He told him. It was almost 5 years ago that he had met her. He was with her for not even a day, but had already fallen in love with her.

She was so beautiful, kind, caring, everything he wanted in a woman. She was just so full of emotion; it was a real sight to see. He made love to her that night, he was so happy, but when he woke up and found she was gone he was angry, very angry at her, but most off all he was hurt. Saddened that she had left him. He went to the hotel she was staying to find her and get her back, but the receptionist told him that she didn’t have anyone named ‘Anne’ staying at her hotel. When he described her she said she was already gone and wouldn’t give him her full name. Just like that he had lost the love of his life. Of course, he had had other women, but he never loved any of them like he loved Anne. He still thought about her a lot, and when he was drunk the only thing he would talk about was her, which made Xander crazy.

“I don’t know anything about it because you won’t tell me. You’ve got to admit Spike; this girl made you crazy. You haven’t really been with someone after her. Okay, so you’ve gone on a date or two, but nothing serious. What’s so special about her?” Xander asked his best friend. He never seen this girl, but he really would like to get to meet her. He’d never seen his best friend in love with a girl before. She must be very special.

“Let’s not talk about it okay? We’re in Sunnydale in about 40 minutes, so get yourself together mate; you’re about to see your sisters.” Spike told him.
Xander knew he was avoiding the question, but right now he had to focus to get himself together, he was a 22 years old man for God’s sake, he shouldn’t be scared! But he was… scared AND nervous about seeing Buffy and Dawn again. He had a pretty good idea how Buffy looked, since he had seen her about 5 years ago, she had changed a lot then. But Dawn…how would she look? The last time he saw her, she was 12. She would be around 18 now. He thought about the times they were together, as a family. Buffy and Dawn would always come to see him when he practised with his band. Those were the good old days.

Forty minutes later they saw the vandalized sign that had the 'dale' scratched out and it was replaced with ‘hell’ so it said; ‘Welcome to SunnyHell’

“Yep the good old days.” Xander said out loud when he saw the sign.

“Home, sweet home, mate!” Spike said with a laugh. It felt good to be home. He couldn’t wait to see Buffy and Dawn again. They were both just kids; okay he was only 2 years older than Buffy but still, when he last saw them. Buffy would be 21 and Dawn 18, if he wasn’t mistaken.

He wondered if they still lived at Revello Drive. Spike looked at his friend and saw that his face had turned into a shade of red. ‘He’s nervous as hell! Poor Xan-man.’ He thought. He looked at the streets and saw a sign saying: ‘The Pleasure of Doom,’ it looked and sounded like a strip club. It hadn’t been there when he still lived here in Sunnydale. He looked at the sign again with a smile. ‘That would help him relax.’ He thought. He pulled over and stopped the car.

“Why are we stopping?” Xander asked. He looked at the sign in front of him. “The Pleasure of Doom? Why are we stopping here Spike?” He said and looked at his best friend. At the smirk that formed on his face he knew the answer. “Oh no Spike, not now! What do you want? Me standing in front of my sisters with a fucking hard-on?” He asked with a scared look on his face. He couldn’t face them after going to a strip club. Besides, Anya would probably kill him.

“It will help you relax, mate. And if you’re worried about Anya, she won’t mind, she goes to strip clubs herself.” He told Xander while stepping out of the car.

“She does what? How do you know? She’s cheating on me?” He asked his best friend, his face as white as if he’d seen a ghost. Anya was cheating on him. He had sex with her every night, wasn’t she satisfied?
“She isn’t cheating on you, mate. Don’t worry. She just likes to look at other women’s bodies. Nothing wrong with that.” He answered.

“She’s looking at women? Not men? Thank god!” He said while stepping in the club. When they were inside they heard a guy announce the next group of strippers.
Meanwhile backstage…

“Lilly, Buffy, Jacky and Rosy you’re up! Are you guys ready?” A girl in her thirties asked the four girls. They were getting ready for their show. They had to dance at a song from Christina Aguilera: Get mine, Get yours

Buffy had to sing, which she always liked doing. Many people told her she had a good voice, but she didn’t really do anything with her talent. Everyone at the club was nice to one and other. Buffy’s best friend at the club was Lilly. Lilly had to take care of her baby brother when her parents died at a car accident, so she took the job as a stripper. Sometimes Timmy (her baby brother), and her would come over to have dinner at Buffy’s house. Or when Lilly had to work and she needed a babysitter she would always just bring Timmy at Buffy’s house, Buffy didn’t mind, Timmy and Emma got along just fine. They were best friends.
The four strippers all wore dresses, which ended a little above their knees. Lilly wore a yellow one, Rosy a pink one, Jacky a blue one and Buffy a red one. They all wore black heals and they had their hair up with a rose in it. Basically, they looked hot!

When they slowly heard the music begin they walked on the stage. When Buffy came up she began to sing.

Baby you pretend that things
Ain't what they seem
All this tension on titling
Just exactly what we should be
Now I don't mind us being
Some kinda casual thing
Listen all I want to do for now is
Have you come and take all of me
Can you

Put your hands on my waistline
Want your skin up against mine
Move my hips to the baseline
Let me get mine, you get yours
Hang a please don't disturb sign
Put my back into a slow grind
Running chills up and down my spine
Let me get mine, you get yours

The girls slowly moved against the poles. They were only in their thongs now. They all wore black thongs and were moving sensually to the music that Buffy was singing to.

If you see me with a man
Understand that you can't question me
The feelings that you caught, ain't my fault
Can't help your jealousy
If you can handle the fact that what we have
Has got to be commitment free (free)
Then we can keep this undercover loving, coming
Hidden underneath the sheets
Can you

Put your hands on my waistline
(Ooh, on my waistline)
Want your skin up against mine (ohh)
Move my hips to the baseline
Let me get mine, you get yours
(But don't fall in love)
Hang a please don't disturb sign
(No, no love)
Put my back into a slow grind (slow grind)
Running chills up and down my spine
Let me get mine, you get yours (ohh)

Most of the guys were screaming and throwing their money at them. It wasn’t a secret that the girls on stage were the most popular and hottest girls in the whole damn club! The other three girls were singing the background vocals of the song in a husky voice.
Buffy was so lost in the music that she didn’t notice those guys. She also didn’t notice the two guys standing near the entrance with their mouths hanging open.

‘Oh my god, it’s Anne. She’s here, after all these years I finally see her again! Wait…she’s here? Oh god, she’s dancing here, she’s bloody a stripper!’ Spike thought.

Xander was almost having the same thoughts. ‘Oh my god, it’s Buffy. She’s here, after all these years I finally see her again! She’s here? Oh god, she’s dancing here, she’s a stripper!’ He thought. He looked at his sister who wasn’t wearing anything anymore. She was standing there naked, in front of more than 20 guys! How could she do that? Why was she doing this?

So come on and freak my body
We can get nasty, naughty
All night a private party
Gotta hit that spot just right
Work me like a 9 to 5

It ain't about the kissing and hugging
'Cause this is a physical loving
Straight sweating, our bodies are rubbing
Gotta hit that spot just right
Work me like a 9 to 5

We have a physical thing (oh)
We make love, but don't fall in love (yeah)
(Let me get mine, you get yours)
We spend time, just enough
So you get yours, and I get mine
No strings attached
(Let me get mine, you get yours)
I want your body
Not your heart

Put your hands on my waistline
(Hands on my waistline)
Want your skin up against mine
(Ohh, yeah yeah yeah)
Move my hips to the baseline
Let me get mine, you get yours
(But don't fall in love)
Hang a please don't disturb sign
Put my back into a slow grind
(Down my spine...)
Running chills up and down my spine
Let me get mine, you get yours

Put your hands on my waistline
(Put your hands on my waistline)
Want your skin up against mine (ooh)
Move my hips to the baseline
Let me get mine, you get yours (oh)
(But don't fall in love)
Hang a please don't disturb sign
(Freak my body babe)
Put my back into a slow grind
(Nasty, naughty baby)
Running chills up and down my spine
(Ooh, yeah yeah yeah)
Let me get mine, you get yours

Come here
Don't be shy
I won't bite

Let me get mine, you get yours

When Buffy stopped singing the guys in the club screamed even louder for the young ladies.
They smiled at each other, bowed and left the stage, shaking their ass.

After Buffy got dressed she made a move to the exit, she didn’t have to do any lap dances today. Her boss knew that she was having a quiet weekend for herself. She stopped however when she heard two very familiar voices calling her name.

“Buffy!” Xander shouted to get the attention of his sister. He was very mad at her, how could she live like that?

“Anne!” Spike also shouted to get the attention of the love of his live. He was very pissed at her, how could she live like that?

They were both running towards her, but stopped and looked at one and other when they heard two different names.

“Buffy?” “Anne?” They said in unison

“What the hell are you talking about?” The two best friends said simultaneously again.

They looked at Buffy who was standing with her mouth open.

“Ehm... hi?” She said. This wasn’t going to be pretty. Hopefully they all came out of this alive.




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Chapter 6: A complicated situation


‘Oh god! They’re both here. What the hell am I going to say?’ she asked herself silently.

She looked at the two men who were staring holes into her. An uncomfortable silence took over. After what looked like hours Xander finally made an end to it.
Buffy gave them a weak smile.
“Buffy, what the hell is going on?” Xander asked her with a pissed-of expression. Buffy had never seen her brother this mad before. He never knew that she was a stripper and she knew that he was disgusted by it. She planned on never telling him what she did, because she knew that he would never approve.

“Buffy? Spike asked her confused. Still not understanding what the hell was going on.

“Yes, Spike it’s me.” Buffy told him with a sad look. She looked at his pained expression; yep she did it. Now the two men she loved the most were mad at her. Congratulations Buffy! What a way to show you care. This was definitely not a Kodak moment.

‘So Buffy is Anne, Anne is Buffy. Of course! That’s why she looked so familiar. Oh god! I’m in love with my best friend’s sister! No…wait a minute. I’m not. I’m in love with Anne...who is Buffy. God! What the bloody hell am I going to do?’ Spike shouted inside of his head.

“How could you lie to me? Was it all just for fun? Fucking me while you knew that I didn’t recognize you!” Spike shouted at her. He was so mad. He couldn’t believe her; he fell in love with her, completely, and totally in love with her and it was all a joke. He couldn’t take it. He felt like she tore out his heart and did a step dance on it. Well, in her case a strip dance!

“No! Spike, it wasn’t...” Buffy tried to explain, but Spike had already walked out of the club. She felt tears threatening to spill, but she knew that she had to be strong. She couldn’t let her brother see how weak she really was. Speaking of… she looked at Xander. He looked at her like she was the devil himself.

“How could you Buff? How could you do that to him, to me? Don’t you care at all?” He asked her, trying to be calm but it obviously wasn’t working.

“How could I! What the hell are you talking about Xander? Yes, I owe an explanation to him, but not you. What the hell did I do to you? You‘re the one who abandoned your family! If anyone should be apologizing it‘s you for screwing up everyone’s life just for the fame.” She yelled at Xander. It didn’t make any sense, yes she hurt Spike, but Xander had nothing to do with it.

“Look around Buffy, how can you live like this? How can you live humiliating yourself for these animals? Don’t you have any pride?” He asked with hint of disgust in his voice.

“You want to know how I can live like this? I live like this because I HAVE to! I have no choice. I have to pay the bills, buy food and clothes. But most of all, I have a family to look after. I have to take care of them. In case you didn’t notice Xander, I don’t have any education. I didn’t finish college because of mom. I don’t have any experience. This was my ONLY choice!” And with that she ran out of the door, towards her home. She ran with tears in her eyes. When she was finally home, she immediately took a shower…she always did that when she felt dirty. She cried while feeling the water pour onto her. She couldn’t believe how everything turned out. She honestly didn’t believe that she would ever see her brother again, let alone Spike. She didn’t know what to do. What if they found out about Emma?

After the shower she went to bed and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning (11 a.m.)...

Buffy awoke at the sound of the phone ringing. She jumped out of bed and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” She said through the phone. She smiled…it was Emma. She could hear the excited tone in her voice.

“Hi sweetie! How was the zoo?” She asked her daughter. She was so happy hearing her daughter’s voice again; she always knew how to make things better. Sometimes she thought her daughter could tell when Buffy was sad, because somehow Emma always fixed it. Sometimes when she was sad Emma would crawl in bed with her and give her a big hug. And they would fall asleep together.

“Really? That must have been a pretty big giraffe then. Yes, I’m fine sweetie.” She said. She didn’t want Emma to worry.

“Yeah, give auntie Willow for a second ok…. I love you to honey. Bye. Kisses.” she said. After a couple of seconds she heard her best friend through the phone.

“Hi Will. Is Emma being good?” She asked her. She didn’t really have to ask that, Emma was always good, well… almost always anyway.

“Yes, I’m fine Will. No, really. Everything’s good.” She told her friend, hoping the sadness in her voice didn’t give anything away. Willow always knew when something was wrong; she could always hear it from her voice…today wasn’t an exception.

Buffy sighed. “Okay. I was at work yesterday, just dancing you know. I finished up and walk to the door...guess who I saw? Xander and Spike!” She nearly yelled through the phone. Silence. “Will, are you still there? Will!” She asked. After a couple of seconds she heard Willow’s breathing again. “Where the hell were you? I was just in the middle of something big here!” Her eyes widened when she heard her best friend tell her that she almost fainted. Willow asked her what their reaction was.

“They’re pretty mad at me. Yes, especially Spike…No, I didn’t lie to him, I just didn’t tell him everything.” She tried to convince her friend and herself, but unfortunately she didn’t buy it.

“…Yes I know Will. I don’t know what to do. What if he sees Emma? He’s really gonna freak out then. No, I’m not gonna tell him. Not now at least. I think I should let him cool off first, you know. I need some time to think about all this.” She told her.

After a couple of minutes more of girl talk and the promise that Buffy would pick Emma up at 6 p.m. they said their goodbyes and hung up their phones. Buffy went to take a shower and after an hour or so she grabbed her purse and walked out of the door, to go grocery shopping.

At a hotel in SunnyHell…

“God, I can’t believe her. All this time, she was just lying to us. Doesn’t she even care? She could’ve just called or something!” Xander shouted more to himself then Spike who was sitting on his bed. Spike sighed. Xander hadn’t stopped yelling for over an hour. He finally had enough.

“Shut up Xander!” Spike yelled at his best friend. Xander turned towards him with a confused look on his face. “Even if she did call, you probably wouldn’t have called back! You complain about her not calling when you treat them like crap! Admit it Xan, she didn’t have a choice. She had to take care of Dawn without any money. It was probably the only thing she could do! Look…” he said, his voice softening “…it’s not that I’m not mad at her, don’t get me wrong I’m pissed, but you weren’t there for her, WE weren’t there for her. Face it man, she was all alone and it‘s our fault.”

Xander sighed. He was too mad to understand. “It’s your fault you know, if we didn’t come here in the first place, none of this would’ve happened! Why did we come here anyway?” Xander asked his best friend with an angry expression.
“In about two weeks it’s Christmas Xander and when I saw the picture of you with Buffy and Dawn I remembered how it used to be. You haven’t been really happy in a while, man. I just thought it would be a good idea to visit the family for the holidays.” Spike answered him. He only wanted what was best for his friend. It was only worse, not just for Xander, but for him as well. “I didn’t know she was gonna lie to us. I screwed it up big time.”

“Yeah, she lied to you big time. Wait! Holy shit! Anne? Your Anne?” Xander asked with a scared look. ‘My best friend is in love with my sister? That will end well’ he thought to himself.

“Got that part ha? When I saw her back in LA, I knew she looked familiar, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.” He told Xander with dreamy eyes. He was very mad at her, but unfortunately his feelings didn’t change. Spike couldn’t believe it took his friend this long to figure it out. They’d only been talking about it a few hours before. Yes, his friend was really clueless sometimes.

“So, you’re in love with my sister. I’m maybe pissed at her, but if you hurt her in any way, I’ll kill you. Just so you know.” He told him with a threatening look.

Spike didn‘t buy the look but Spike decided to play along. “Don’t worry Xan, I think in a while my feelings will go away. At least I hope.” The last part he said in a whisper. Xander was to busy with his own thoughts to hear what his friend said. “Anyway, I’m gonna get some smokes.”

Xander looked at him. “They don’t sell cigarettes in this hotel, don’t know why. You should go to the grocery store.” Xander told him. “Can you get me some chips or something? They don’t sell those either, stupid hotel.” Xander said with a cranky voice. He gave Spike some extra cash and watched him disappear out of the door.

At the grocery store…

“Hi Giles! How are you doing?” She asked the cashier whom she saw as her father.

“Very good Buffy. How are you?” He asked the girl whom he saw as the daughter he never had. He came over a lot to have dinner at her house and play with Emma. Emma even called him grandpa. He really felt like he was a part of the family. He never had a daughter and Buffy never really had a father so they basically filled the positions as family.

“Could do better.” She said while giving him the groceries she wanted to buy. She noticed his curious look. “I saw Xander and Spike yesterday.” She told him with a sad look.

“Spike? You mean Emma’s father? That Spike?” He asked her. Well, of course it was Emma’s father, there weren’t really a lot of Spikes in the world. He didn’t know Spike, but he knew how much Buffy still loved him. When Emma was a couple of months old, Giles would spend the night at the Summer’s home to help Buffy with the little girl. One night he woke up at the crying of Emma and walked to her room, he made a move to open the door only to stop when he saw that Buffy was already there. He had looked at the mother and daughter with a smile.

He heard Buffy saying that she looked just like her father and started to cry. Giles came in the room and just held the crying girls in his arms.

“Yeah, he saw me stripping at the club. It was really embarrassing. I just don’t know what to do Giles. What about Emma? If he sees her, I don’t know how he will react.” She said while wiping away her tears.

“It’s gonna be okay Buffy. You’ll just have to wait and see. Maybe he just needs some time to think, he’ll call you or visit you. Spike AND your brother.” He said comforting. “Go to the restroom and powder your nose or whatever you girls do, I look after your groceries till your back okay? Oh and do you want to grab a couple of crates out of the storeroom?” He asked her with a shy smile.

“Sure, Giles. Thanks.” She said while going to the back, where the restroom was. Buffy didn’t notice the man who was just walking in.

“Hi, ehm… Marlboro please.” He said while giving the cashier the chips for Xander. “Thanks, mate.” He said when Giles gave him back his ‘groceries.’

He looked around for a while. “Do you mind if I use your restroom?” He asked the guy in his forties. He didn’t really need to go to the bathroom; it was just to damn hot. He needed to splash a little water on his face.

“Yeah sure, it’s in the back.” He said while helping the next customers. In the two minutes Buffy had left to go to the restroom it had become pretty crowded.


He had just come out of the bathroom when he heard somebody cry softly in the storeroom. He opened the room and saw a girl with 2 crates in her hands standing before him with her back turned to him. She was wearing a jean skirt with a plain white shirt on top of it. She wore white sandals that made the outfit complete.

“Ehm… miss?” he asked shyly. He couldn’t stand it when girls cried; he felt a strange need to comfort her.

When she turned around Spike’s eyes widened.

“Buffy.” He said with a shocked look.

“Spike.” She said with the same shocked look.

“Spike, I…” she started, but Spike didn’t give her any chance to continue. He just wanted to do the thing he wanted for almost 5 years now.

He ran to her, pushed her against the wall and shut her up with a hungry kiss.





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Chapter 7: A haunting past


Buffy kissed him back with equal passion, hunger and need and wrapped her
legs around his waist. He fondled her ass, which caused Buffy to moan. ‘God, this
feels so good.’ She thought to herself. She didn’t want to let go, she felt so good in his arms. They were made for each other. ‘ I can’t believe I’ve missed this for so long!’ She broke the kiss breathing heavily.

“Spike.” She breathed.

“God, I’ve missed you so much Buffy.” Spike told her, returning to her lips to kiss her again. He didn’t want to stop kissing her, it just felt so damn good!

“I’ve missed you to.” She told him after he moved away from her lips again, only leaving her lips because they needed to breath.

“Let’s go to your place.” He smiled at her. He couldn’t wait to be inside of his goddess again.

“Good idea.” Spike’s smile grew wider. “But not for that.” She told him and unwrapped her legs from his waist, which made Spike frown. ‘Of course not you pillock, she doesn’t want to be with you. She doesn’t feel the same why about you.’ He thought to himself, but looking into her eyes he could tell that that wasn’t right.

“Why not?” He pouted, looking at her with his deep blue eyes. Buffy had to close her eyes, because if she didn’t she knew for sure that she would do anything he asked her. And they really needed to talk.

“I’ve got an idea. Bring Xander over and I’ll make us all dinner. We’ll get a chance to finally talk, all right? We should really talk things out Spike, I feel really bad about everything,” she told him with a sad look.

“Fine,” Spike said kissing her once more. “I’ll ask Xander then.” He knew that they should stop but he couldn’t help but kiss her again.

“Damn you taste so bloody good.” He murmured.

She smiled at the comment.


Spike left a couple of kisses later and Buffy made her way back to the checkout line, paid for her items then left with a huge smile on her face. She finally had the feeling that everthing was going to be fine again.

“Hey, Xander,” Spike said when he entered the hotel room. “Uh, I ran into Buffy at the grocery store.” He almost whispered, hoping that his friends wouldn’t start yelling again.

“What! You actually talked to her after what she did to me? What she did to you?” He yelled at Spike. He couldn’t believe his best friend, after all that she did to them.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Xander get over it!” He yelled at his best friend. “She invited us over to her house for dinner tonight. Lets at least go and let her explain herself.” Xander not wanting to get in a fight, which his friend agreed.

“Fine. Whatever.” Xander answered to please his friend. He didn’t really feel like going, but he knew that they had to talk things out. They both had a lot of explaining to do. But part of him wanted to get away from all this; he didn’t want to live in a world where his sister was a stripper in some club. And he was also partly embarrassed that he went to a strip club and his little sister witnessed it.

“Great now lets go. I went for a drive after we talked so we don’t have much time left,” Spike said as Xander slid on his shoes. Xander noticed Spike was a little too anxious to go. ‘I wonder if they’re back together?’ Xander thought to himself. But he shrugged it off and left with Spike. He didn’t think Spike could do that, just forgive and forget.



“Just relax Buffy, just because the brother that abandoned you and the father of your 4-year-old child is stopping by to have dinner doesn’t mean you have to freak out.” Buffy told herself trying to convince herself it wasn't that big of a deal. Unfortunately it wasn’t really working.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

‘Oh god, oh god, they’re here. Okay, take a deep breath Buffy.’ She told herself softly. After taking a deep breath, she walked towards the door and opened it with a big smile. There they stood... Xander and Spike. Spike had a huge smile oh his face, while Xander was staring at the ground.

“Come on in,” she said moving out of the way so they could enter the house. Xander and Spike sat down on the couch.

“Thank you for inviting us over,” Xander said to be polite, still looking at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact. The two friends sat on the couch. “I like what you done with the place. I’m surprised you stayed in this house.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said softly. “I wasn’t planning on staying here, but after mom died I just couldn’t leave. I grew up here and everything and besides, it doesn’t cost much after all the arrangments mom did.”

“You have a piano,” Xander stated, pointing at the big black piano in the corner of the room.

“Yeah, I play a little.”

“That’s nice.” Xander said, looking at the ground again.

There was an uncomfortable silence after the small talk.

Buffy turned to Spike. “Spike can you join me in the kitchen, please?” she asked him.

“Sure,” Spike said standing up and walking into the kitchen. Buffy had her arms crossed and a weak smile on her face. Spike was trying to look brave through the awkward situation.

“Xander really doesn’t want to be here does he?” Buffy asked.

“No, he doesn’t but at least he was willing to come. He really is trying…you know how Xander is. He’s as stubborn as you.” He answered the woman he still loved more than anything. She glared at him which made him chuckle. He looked at her. She looked very upset and he hated it. He hated it more then anything, knowing he couldn’t make her feel better.

“I guess you’re right but still, it hurts.” she told him with a hurt look.

Spike walked up to her grabbed her waist and kissed her. Buffy didn’t think she would ever get enough of kissing him.

“Spike, I need to tell you something.” She stated with a serious look.

“What is it, Luv? You can tell me anything.” He told her, curious about the serious look on her face.

Buffy hesitated for a second but continued. “I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve,” she said while looking down, not daring to look him in the eye. It was quiet for a moment untill Spike spoke.

“Luv look at me.” He put a finger under her chin to make her look onto his eyes to reveal Spike with a very big smile on his face. “Did you mean it?”

“Yes. I would never lie to you about that.” She told him honestly with a smile, happy that he was atleast not freaking out.

“At least I know now that that night wasn’t just a one-night stand for you. You know, just some fun…” he said happily.

“Oh it was fun. No doubt about that, but it definitely meant more to me. I did it because I‘m in love with you. I was then and I’m still now.” She said while looking him deep in the eye.

Spike smiled at that.

“Buffy I’ve been in love with you ever since that night we made love. Absolutely head over heels in love.” He said. Buffy saw in his eyes that he meant every word he said. She smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. Their tongues battled till oxygen started to become an issue for both of them. Panting their foreheads touched and they looked at the intensity in each other’s eyes.

DING DONG

“Doorbell,” Buffy said as they snapped out of their lover’s gaze. “Can you please get it for me?”

“Sure.” Spike said walking towards the door. Spike was about to open it when Buffy realized who exactly would be behind it. Emma.

‘Oh Shit.’ Buffy thought to herself. Maybe they wouldn’t notice. She hoped. Buffy’s thoughts were interrupted by a little voice.

“Mommy!” Emma yelled hugging her mother’s legs. Two very confused men followed Emma. It looked like Spike didn’t notice anything out of ordinary, except for the fact a little girl just ran up to her but other than that nothing.

Buffy knelt down and hugged Emma. “Hey Sweetie. Did you have fun with Auntie Willow?”

Her daughter nodded with a smile. “Yep. We saw the snakes and the elephants.” Her daughter said with a big smile on her face, not wanting to wait to tell her mother every little detail.

Buffy finally turned her attention to the two guys looking at her. She saw them looking with a very confused expression.

“Hey, guys. Guess what, I have a daughter.” She said with a hesitant smile, not knowing another way of breaking the news.

Buffy walked into the living to thank Willow. Willow left not wanting to get in the middle of the family drama.

Then she left someone tugging on her skirt. She knelt down to her daughter.

“What is it Honey?” she asked her daughter.

Emma pointed to Xander and Spike. “Who are they?”

“Well,” she pointed to Xander. “His name is Xander and he is your uncle.”

Then she pointed to Spike. “That is Sp.....” Buffy caught herself remember Emma knew the name Spike. She once told her that her Daddy’s name was Spike. “William.”

Spike looked at the little girl. ‘God she’s beautiful, just like her mother.’ He thought, well that and ‘Who’s the fucking father, I’m going to kill him!’

Emma ran up to them and hugged their legs, happy that she had another familymember that could give her lots and lots of presents! Spike and Xander both looked uncomfortable about the situation. Buffy went into the kitchen while Xander and Emma sat on the couch. Spike followed Buffy.

“Buffy?”

“Yes?” she said pretending everything was completely ordinary when she was screaming inside. She was avoiding eye contact.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had a daughter?” he asked her with a hurt look. He didn’t expect her to lie to him again. “You lied.”

“First. I didn’t necessarily lie and second it’s complicated.” She answered the man she loved.

“Spike!” They heard Xander yell from the living room. Spike left while Buffy continued to cook dinner, happy that she had some time before she had to explain the situation to him. Spike walked into the livingroom to see Xander on the couch and Emma standing in front of him. Xander was staring at Emma.

“Xander what are you doing? Leave the poor girl alone.” He told his friend annoyed. Sometimes he asked himself if his friend didn’t have any manners.

“You have to see this man.” He said, still looking at the girl standing in front of him.

“See what?” Spike asked confused.

He sat next to Xander, which who was still staring at Emma.

“Look,” Xander pointed to her eyes.

Spike looked. “Yeah Xander, those are eyes.” Not getting what his friend was trying to say.

”They’re blue.”

“Yes they are,” Spike said, looking at his friend like he’d grown insane.

“Very blue,” Xander said. “Who else do you know that has eyes that blue?” he asked Spike with a pointed look.

Spike thought. “Well there is that one guy that...no his eyes are green.” Spike paused. “What are you getting at?”

“Look at her cheekbones.” Spike looked intensely. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“I still don't understand what you’re getting at, mate.”

“Spike stop it.” Xander told him. ‘God, and everyone says I can’t see anything till it bites me in the ass.’ He thought to himself.

“Stop what?” He asked.

Xander decided that Spike wouldn’t get it till they had some prove so he turned to Emma. “Do you know who your father is?” he asked her curiously.

“Yep.” She simply said.

“How do you know who he is?” Spike asked confused. Buffy would’ve told him in the kitchen if they were still together.

“Mommy told me and when she’s sleeping she says his name.” Emma told the two men who were looking at her like she’d grown two heads.

Xander butted in. “What’s his name?”

“Spike.” She said calmly. Not getting why they asked so many questions.

Spike’s eyes widened then he yelled.

“Buffy!”





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