TITLE : Mr Kiss Kiss Gang Bang - A Spike Blond Story
AUTHOR : Debs aka SpikesDeb <spikesgirl_453@hotmail.com>
DISCLAIMER : Mr Whedon, the Wordmaster extraordinaire, said we could play 
about in his sandpit - so here I am.  And I promise I won't break his toys.
SHOUTOUTS: The delectable NanaLou prettied this up once more.  Her funnies 
are incredible!  Thanks hun, I owe you...ooh, lots!
CHAPTER : 8/9

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The wail of sirens flooded the room the second Blond's fangs made contact 
with the repulsive blubber of Weisswurst's neck.  Harris launched himself in 
a graceful arc over the tussling pair to take out two of the heavies 
advancing to protect their boss from his friend.  Yes – his friend.  Dammit, 
Blond was infuriating but that vamp had had his back on too many occasions 
for Harris to let him be dusted now.  Damn fool would never let him live it 
down if that happened...

And Buffy's reaction?  Don't even go there...

'Focus, Harris – the mission first, self-flagellation later'

He crash-landed on the thugs, slamming their heads together as they 
staggered and fell, their guns clattering away across the parquet.  Bullets 
wouldn't kill Blond but would certainly have slowed him down – and having 
spotted the advancing bodyguards, a slowed-down Blond down was the last 
thing they needed.

"Blond!  Get it done and move!"

Spike was struggling to swallow the demon's blood.  It was putrid, like his 
knobbly flesh; Blond was sure he could feel globules of lard sticking in his 
throat.  He stifled the urge to gag.  He'd find another way to dispose of 
the warty monstrosity because there was no way in hell that he could keep 
this up.  Christ, the cholesterol alone would put him in a coma, not to 
mention the stomach-churning stench emanating from the monster trying to 
squirm out of his grasp.

Twisting Weisswurst around to block a lethal looking blade aimed for his 
jugular, Blond ripped his fangs from the slimy grey flesh beneath the 
quivering jowls of his victim.  With a flash of preternatural speed the 
vampire snagged a sleek Glock 37 from the nearest goon's shoulder holster.  
He hefted its weight in his hand.

"Thanks, Lurch.  Nice gun," he said admiringly as he drew it back and 
pressed the muzzle against the demon's temple, squeezing the trigger the 
instant it made contact.

Guests scattered, screaming, as the shot rang out.  Harris ended up behind a 
table laden with party fare, spinning round to check on his compatriot 
before helping himself to one of the larger canapTs.  He smirked as Blond 
dropped Mr Kiss Kiss to the floor and turned to wipe his hands clean of the 
demon's blood on the white tablecloth, now spattered with brains and other 
bodily fluids.  Time seemed to stop; nobody made a move towards them but the 
spies took a defensive stance, back-to-back and facing outwards with weapons 
at the ready.

Harris eyed his spermositor nervously; still unsure as to what would happen 
if he squeezed the trigger.   He'd cocked it earlier when things were 
starting to look bad, readied the deathly ray, but the actual squeezing?  
Not really happening...

"You know that G said this thing would melt flesh...what if it backfires?  Cos 
my flesh is kinda nice just the way it is."

"Too late for the j-j-j-jitters, Harris.  You're such a big girl!"  Blond's 
eyes glittered, his lips curled in a grin of anticipation as the 
freeze-frame ended and more heavies zeroed in on them.  He threw the Glock 
down and reached for his own phallic weapon.  "G's never given us a dud yet. 
  I'm up for it but if you're too scared..."

"As if!  Bring it on, dead boy.  They don't call me Quick Draw McGraw for 
nothing!  Let's kick ass!"

Both spies were now eagerly awaiting the inevitable showdown.  Their delight 
in the down and dirty part of the job was why they made such a lethal team, 
and merited them being classified with the coveted '00' codenames.  They 
were the best in the Service and they knew it.

In tandem, the duo unleashed burst after burst of energy ray from their 
unfeasibly shaped guns. It wasn't pretty; G hadn't been exaggerating.  When 
the beam of cold green light came into contact with a body, it started to 
bubble and was soon reduced to a puddle of gloop and the wail of a dying 
scream.  Diabolical? Yes.  But these were demons, and evil ones at that.  
The end seemed to justify the means.

The angry bellow and the crash of the table collapsing behind Blond drew 
Harris' eyes despite him being busily engaged in making demon soup.  What 
the fuck?

"Blond!  Behind you!"

The vampire spun round, trying to dodge blood-encrusted fingers as they 
groped for his throat.

"Bloody hell!  What does a bloke have to do to kill a fetid poofter like 
you, Weisswurst?"

"Ha!  Something more, apparently, zan you are capable of imagining, Meester 
Blond.  How remiss of you not to know zat my body regenerates.  You see, I 
am invincible!  And you, puny vampire...are about to vish you had never 
interfered in my plans."

Weisswurst nodded over Blond's shoulder, Blond turning to follow the 
direction of the demon lord's signal.  He stifled a frantic roar when he saw 
W's terrified eyes and the knife pressed to her throat by yet another of the 
bridegroom's muscle-bound henchmen.

"Submit to my vill, gentlemen -- your veapons?"

There was no choice but to comply with the order.  A thin trickle of blood 
was already making its way down W's pale neck and Spike Blond could smell 
her fear.  He obeyed his training rather than his instinct when he flipped 
the gun and handed it over.

"Blond!  Are you crazy?"  Harris hissed at his partner as the flabby grey 
sausage-like fingers closed greedily over the MI13 weapon.  "Fight, man!  
Come on!"

The rip-and-rend demon battled with the coolly detached spy.  For once, the 
spy won.  "Just do as he says, Harris.  We've no choice.  W."

The one-eyed man spun round to look at his boss.  Her green eyes were huge 
with fear and she was visibly shaking.  The meaty hand gripping her arm 
tightened further and she let out a squeal of pain.

"Bastard!  Let her go!"  Harris lunged forwards, only to be restrained 
immediately by the cool grip of Spike Blond.

"Harris.  Not now," he ground out.

With a snarl of impotent rage Xander Harris did as the more experienced spy 
asked and handed over the weapon.

Things didn't look good.  The two agents were frogmarched out of the room 
past the terrified W and off into the bowels of the castle.  The clang of 
the iron door shutting them in the pitch-black chamber seemed to seal their 
fate.

"Thanks for nothing!  I'd have taken the bastard if you'd let me!  Now we're 
stuck down here and -W's all alone.  Since when did you become Captain 
Sensible then?"

Harris heard the creak of shifting bones as Spike changed his features to 
easier see the confines of their cell.  Dank, dark, no handy little 
trapdoors; pretty much as he'd expected.

"Couldn't risk W.  Anyway, have I ever let you down before?  Trust me."

Xander wandered over to the far wall and hunkered down against the clammy 
walls.  "Trust you.  Is that what I've come to now – trusting a demon who 
couldn't even eat his dinner?  Please let this all be a dream.  "

Blond settled on the floor next to him and patted himself down until he 
found the G gadget he'd pinched when the old man wasn't looking. With his 
enhanced vampiric eyesight he made short work of piecing together the tiny 
tubes and connectors that made up the lantern that suddenly illuminated the 
dungeon.

"Whoa!  Warn a fella would ya?  I think my good eye's imploded!"  Harris had 
his arm firmly across his eyes, one hand rubbing frantically at his weeping 
lid.  "And much as I appreciate the Portasun, couldn't you have come up with 
something actually useful like – oh, I don't know – a key or something?  
Maybe a nifty bulldozer?"

"Will you shut the hell up!  I'm feeling a mite peckish here, Dead-eye Dick, 
and I don't see room service arriving anytime soon.  May just have to nibble 
on what's handy to get rid of the taste of Mr Rank in my mouth.  I told you 
to trust me.  Now go cower in the corner like a good puppy and let the Big 
Bad get to work."

The dark-haired spy smirked, the banter between the two of them although 
full of barbs was the way they communicated and it solidified their bond of 
friendship.   Thing was he did trust Blond; he trusted him with his life.  
And more to the point, he trusted him with W's.  He moved away to the far 
corner and leant against it, arms crossed in defiance.

"Okay, Blond.  Do whatever you have to – I'll have forty while you play with 
your toys."

"Done playing." 00666 shook his hands out like a magician and there appeared 
in his palm a metallic globe about the size of a tennis ball.  He twisted it 
and it began to hum and glow.  Then he quickly laid it at the foot of the 
iron door and backed off to stand beside Harris.

"I do not want to know where you had that one stashed, Blond."

The vampire's reply was lost in the heavy boom that heralded the 
disintegration of the barrier that kept them from W's side.  Seconds later, 
the cell door had been reduced to rubble.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"So what do you think of the ancestral pile, old chap?  Not quite Bath is 
it?  But still, he does try."

G walked with Ethan Rayne through the shadowed grounds of Weisswurst's 
castle "It wouldn't be out of place at Disneyworld," he grunted.  It was 
grossly over-turreted and a plethora of deformed statues lurked hideously 
behind bushes to take the unsuspecting visitor by surprise.

"Ah, I see you've noted the stone ancestors?  That little beauty is 
Weisswurst's mother."

"Good god..." G couldn't suppress a shudder.  "No need to ask where he gets 
his looks from."

"Oh, don't worry – she won't be at the wedding.  None of them will, 
actually.  It seems that the only way to make it to the top in the 
Weisswurst clan is by killing off your bloodline in the most obscenely 
terrible way imaginable.  My master himself had offspring who turned on him 
but he made short work of them as you can see."

Rayne indicated a row of headless statues ranged round a cauldron containing 
what G guessed would be their missing heads.  "That's part of the reason he 
just simply had to have W, to make more children.  I know you think it's all 
about revenge but he is entirely taken with the fiery chit.  She'll want for 
nothing.  Oh, she'll last until the birth of the first litter – but a human 
birthing the Master's spawn?  A bit tricky, old chum...and they're so hungry 
when they're born.  Don't fret, though, she'll have a super life until 
then."

Rayne wasn't prepared for the fist that smashed into his face and catapulted 
him backwards into the bushes.  But G was.  He took to his heels immediately 
and headed towards the bright lights and the music.

It was at the exact same moment that Blond had Weisswurst in his grip and 
his fangs in his flesh that G slipped into the ballroom.  Keeping to the 
edge of the throng he watched helplessly as the two spies surrendered their 
weapons and were bundled off.  Thinking on his feet, he quickly sidled out 
and holed up in the corridor until he spied an exit.  He knew he didn't have 
long before Rayne came to and sounded the alarm, but it was entirely likely 
that the effete pillock wouldn't want the world to know he couldn't handle 
an old duffer like G, and would try to pretend that nothing was amiss.

Spying an unguarded door, whilst everyone was gawking at the removal of 
Blond and Harris, G shot outside into the darkness and headed out to find 
Buffy and the others.  Things had changed.  They no longer had the luxury of 
surveillance; W's fate depended upon the operatives' ability to pull the 
proverbial rabbit out of the hat.

As he ran through the dark, the memory of W's haunted features and the tears 
on her face hardened his resolve.  He wouldn't let her down.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy Blond knew the moment things started to go wrong.  She could feel 
Spike's rage through the mating link and it nearly had her screaming and 
clawing at her neck.  She vowed that she'd have him show her how to tone it 
down a little so that she could work through  the turmoil of emotions the 
overload caused.  It was hard for her to fight down the anger and killing 
urge she felt and she swallowed, hard, as she realised if she was feeling it 
at that level, William must be almost incandescent in his fury.

She packed away her communikit and jumped to her feet, startling the 
snoozing Osborne and Whedon who were nestling against each other in the 
undergrowth.  "Guys!  Move it – we're needed on ops.  Playtime's over: we're 
joining the big leagues.  NOW!"

The two novice agents stumbled to their feet.  Once again their eyes met in 
an unvoiced vow to hide at the very rear of HQ when they returned and never, 
ever come to the notice of the people at the dirty end of the job.  Maps and 
research into demon languages would suit them fine.  Until then, Buffy Blond 
- despite her petite stature and girly hair – was a veritable Valkyrie who 
demanded their immediate compliance with her every order.

She took off, hissing over her shoulder for them to keep up and 
simultaneously signalling for backup from the flight team, and hopefully the 
wet-team they should have retrieved by now.  Osborne and Whedon could barely 
keep her in sight as they crashed through every bush and thicket in their 
path.  Soon Weisswurst Castle loomed before them and Buffy halted, gasping 
for breath.  She was panicked, wanting to reach her husband's side but 
knowing instinctively that if she barged in she may simply give Mr Kiss Kiss 
the added advantage of a second hostage.  No, she'd have to plan her assault 
– not and easy task as she had no idea of layout, numbers, whereabouts...

Think, Buffy!  What would William do?  Or W?  Or G?

She almost cried with relief as G himself called her name, backlit by 
illumination from the castle.

"Buffy!  Are you alone?  Where's the team?  Quickly now, we have to move!"

"G!  Thank god.  Am I glad to see you!  William...?"  She tried to keep the 
edge of panic from her voice, made a valiant effort at it too.

"He's fine; Harris and Blond were overpowered and taken off to the dungeons 
but I don't imagine they'll stay there long.  I know for a fact that Blond 
made very free with my belongings the last time he visited my lab.  I wager 
they'll be back in the fray any minute now.  So...the team?"

"On their way.  The jet's just touched down so they'll be about ten, fifteen 
minutes getting here.  But we have the boys...any minute now."  Buffy pointed 
back the way she'd come as the shaking and sweat-soaked desk jockeys finally 
caught her up.

"Well, it'll have to do.  We can't wait.  They've got W captive in the 
ballroom and I'd lay odds they've drugged her or else she'd have tried to 
fight them.  We have to help her.  Rayne outlined what'll happen if that 
damned ceremony goes ahead...."

Buffy didn't want to know.  Her brief meeting with Weisswurst was more than 
enough to have her gagging at the memory.  She didn't need any more fuel 
added to that fire, thank you very much.

Turning round to check that her slightly wilted companions had recovered, 
she marched forwards.  "Fine then, let's get to it."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The seven demons previously guarding the cell were now part of the corridor 
dTcor, adding interesting abstract designs in shades of purple, green and 
red to the stone walls.  The lack of weapons meant Blond had to rely on fist 
and fangs to rip at flesh and Xander Harris was all too happy to take the 
hand-offs and finish the slam-dunk.  It hadn't taken long; they'd had the 
element of surprise and the impetus of saving W from a rape worse than death 
to spur them on.

Silently they crept through the lower levels and back up to the main floor 
of the house.  By the sound of the music coming through the walls, 
Weisswurst's party was back in full swing and W's time was running out.  
Spike stopped, Harris clumsily running into him and cursing under his 
breath.

"Can it, Harris.  I'm trying to think..."

"Yeah, I got that -- figured it'd be way too complicated for you to think 
and walk at the same time.  So what's the plan?"

Thing was, right at that moment, Blond didn't have one.  But it wasn't the 
first time he'd relied purely on his instinct and his urge for survival.  
Made it all the more exciting once you got past the crippling fear...not that 
he'd ever admit to anyone that he ever had a moment's doubt.

As he mulled over his options, Spike felt Buffy's frantic emotions through 
the link.  It was a mix of hopefulness, anxiety, blind animal panic – and 
she was coming nearer.  He smiled; he loved it when a plan came together.  
All they had to do was wait.  Buffy wouldn't turn up empty-handed; she was 
far too well trained for that.  It was all in the timing.

"Right, Harris – we need weapons."  Blond glanced around the baronial 
hallway.  "Looks like our charming host has put his best ones on show for 
the nuptials.  No end of sharp objects, so go grab us a couple.  We'll just 
have to keep slashing away at Weisswurst until there're too many bits for 
him to get back together -- at least until we can get hold of G and pick his 
mighty brain for the way to destroy Mr Kiss Kiss bloody Gang Bang."

Soon they had a couple of knives each and Spike was also wielding a nifty 
looking mace on the end of a gleaming chain.  They edged forwards and took 
up station in a cloakroom opposite the grand ballroom, their door slightly 
ajar so they could see the comings and goings.  A cacophony of noise drew 
their notice as the bloodied Ethan Rayne burst through the main entrance 
with psycho henchmen in tow and screeching hysterically for Weisswurst.  
They caught the gist of it, Spike more so because of his super-sensitive 
hearing.  G.  G had punched him out and scarpered.  Good man!  Now all they 
needed to know was where he was.

Spike chuckled into the darkness of the cupboard.  Seemed that the 
gadgetmeister was such a slippery little customer not one of the minions 
could find him.  The vampire thought back to when G had first entered the 
service, way back when Spike was building his reputation as the coolest spy 
in the business.  G had shown promise as a field agent but had rapidly 
graduated to the man to know if you wanted a specially adapted weapon or a 
watch that doubled as a laser cutter.  Still, once trained by Her Majesty's 
best, you never lose it...

"And this is funny.... how?  We're holed up in a cupboard, Blond, and knives 
against machine guns?  I don't think so.  So I ask again...do you have a 
plan?"

Spike felt Buffy's nearness through the link; she was almost at the door.

The vampire turned his golden eyes on his friend.  "Yeah, Harris.  We go see 
what the missus wants to do."

With perfect dramatic timing, the petite blonde in question threw open the 
double doors and black-clad wetwork operatives swarmed in, weapons poised 
for action. Buffy, Osborne and Whedon stood aside as the professional 
assassins took up post on either side of the ballroom door.  Spike and 
Harris burst from the cloak cupboard, Spike quick to pick up his wife and 
hug her to him with his free hand while keeping the mace free and ready to 
strike.  "Buffy," he nuzzled her hair.

"Honey, I'm ho-ome!" Buffy Blond sing-songed before clamping her legs around 
the lithe torso of her spy husband and crushing his lips with a kiss that 
promised heated oil and silken scarves once they were back on home soil.  
"And I brought some friends, William.  Hope you don't mind..."

"Well, it'll be a stretch, but there's mayhem enough for everyone.  Any sign 
of G on your travels?"

"Why, Blond – did you miss me?"  G brought up the rear, twiddling with yet 
another gadget of unknown purpose and looking scarily serene.  Whedon and 
Osborne on the other hand looked like they'd been dragged through a hedge.

Spike put Buffy down and patted her bottom affectionately as she sashayed 
away.  "Well, G – I didn't really want to tell the wife this way but now you 
mention it..." He grinned and walked towards his longstanding colleague and 
friend.  "Hug?"

G raised a very Spike-like eyebrow and rolled his eyes.  "I think not, 
Blond.   Besides, we've work to do."

"Foiled again!  Work.  Fine.  Lead on, Macduff.  Just tell me...how precisely 
do you kill Weisswurst?  I only ask because shot to the head?  Not as 
effective as you'd expect."

"Oh.  Yes.  Quite.  Well – I wasn't exactly sure that rumour was true.   So 
he regenerated, did he?"

Spike and Harris nodded in tandem.

"Ah.  Well it seems that the only organ susceptible to death is the second 
kidney.  Only thing is nobody is sure where exactly in the body it resides."

"Not the head because KAPOW! – and nada."  0013 mimed a pistol to his 
temple.

"No, obviously not in the head."  G stopped his fiddling and gave the pair 
his full
attention.  "Wait a minute...you shot him in the head with my – what did you 
christen it, Blond? – The erm... spermopositer, and he didn't... well – 
decompose?"

Blond and Harris looked shifty.  G didn't like his gadgets getting into the 
hands of the enemy.

"Well, no... actually, I didn't use the bloody penis gun, G.  Thought a 
traditional bullet to the noggin would nail the nasty bugger so I grabbed 
what was near to hand.  Nice job of giving us the down and dirty old bud."

"Well, there's your answer then!  At the right setting, the spermopositor – 
and I'm trademarking that, Blond – will melt his entire body, second kidney 
included, and it's cheerio demon.  So, holster the guns and let's get 
cracking!"

The assassin team were ready and waiting to go, only lacking the proper 
signal to have all guns blazing.  G eyed the two agents shifting from foot 
to foot with a sinking feeling in his gut.  "You do still have the 
weapons...?"

No reply, no eye contact.

G sighed and rolled his eyes.  "Where are they?"

"Weisswurst has them.  Don't fuss, we'll get 'em back."

The bloodcurdling screams from the ballroom stopped everybody in their 
tracks.  The reek of burning flesh seeped beneath the doors, making those 
nearest to the ballroom gag.  It could only be the spermositers.

"Right!  Let's get to it!  There's no time – it could be W in the firing 
line."

Blond took control of the situation - being the senior agent in both age and 
experience - and charged forwards through the double doors and skidded to a 
halt on the bloody floor.  His vampire senses were on overload, feasting on 
the scent of fear - a banquet of gory delights.  He didn't usually like to 
suit up so early in a fight as it lost him the advantage of surprise; but 
the blood, the sight of the cringing guests as Weisswurst swaggered about 
with his new toy, and the very real danger that W was in, flicked his switch 
and he roared into vamp face.  The sound echoed through the room making the 
entrance of the vampire and his colleagues the focal point of all.

"Meester Blond!  Again you interrupt me – and so rude.  Vhy do you never do 
vhat I ask of you?  You zink to save your W from a fate vorse than death.  
But see her!  She is happy to see me – aren't you, mein adorable 
Weichselstrudel?  She cannot vait for our union.  See how she trembles with 
desire!"

W was shivering; her jingling chains providing demented background music to 
the inevitable showdown.  She looked far from happy, however, her heavy 
makeup streaked down her face where her tears had tracked, and her knuckles 
white where she still gripped an ostrich feather fan and a champagne flute.

It was too much.  Your average vampires weren't known for their restraint in 
a crisis and Spike Blond was far from your average vampire.  He leapt – 
quite literally – into the fray.

The MI13 agents were hot on his heels, Xander Harris leading them forwards.  
The less experienced Osborne and Whedon peeped round the door, limply 
cradling weapons they were too scared to use, drawing a huff of impatience 
from Buffy when she sprinted past them.  "Time to grow a pair, you two.  We 
need all the manpower we can get – if you're up to it!"

Whilst the nervous duo would have preferred to make a discreet withdrawal, 
there was enough backbone there to have them cocking their pistols and 
preparing to engage.  G pulled out an impressive weapon of mammoth 
proportions and nodding to the pair of wet-behind-the-ears agents he 
preceded them into the ballroom.

Spike Blond was everywhere, making full use of his supernatural speed to 
disarm lumbering thugs before they could use their assorted weaponry.  He 
was homing in on Weisswurst who was still gesticulating wildly with both 
spermositers, the beams of bone-melting energy sizzling any flesh in the 
their path and reducing the unlucky random victims to primordial sludge.  G 
couldn't stop a smug grin from creasing his face as he noted the extreme 
success of his invention.  Weisswurst changed direction.

Blond needed a diversion to enable him to seize the demon and turn the guns 
against him.  Harris was already on it, making for W and the ring of guards 
around her with a posse of assassins in tow.  They were making headway 
noisily in an effort to create the maximum impact.

There...right there the moment arrived.  G bellowed W's name to add to the 
mayhem and was gratified to see Weisswurst lower the spermopositors and 
start to walk towards his bride-to-be.  Blond took the offered opening and 
karate-chopped Weisswurst's wrist, deftly catching the dropped weapon and 
aiming it back at the warty demon's torso in one graceful manoeuvre.

"Weisswurst!  Heads up, you stinking heap of putrescence!  I want you to see 
my joy as you dissolve in agony.  Nobody messes with my people."

"Ha!  Empty vords, DumKopf. You forget zat I am invincible; you haf tried to 
destroy me once and yet I still live.  Do your vurst, zen perhaps I can 
complete mein nuptials and get to ze rumpy-pumpy!"

00666 smirked.  "Your wish is my command, Weisswurst."

Putrid gobs of spittle hung from Weisswurst's green teeth as Spike Blond 
pulled the trigger snarling, "Auf Weidersehen, Pet." The beam hit his chest 
and began to singe the folds of flesh, slicing into his body like a hot 
knife through butter.  Weisswurst fell backwards, the other spermositer 
dropping from his hand as he realised that invincibility was overrated and 
today – although not a good day to die – would nonetheless have to do.

The guards around W were under attack from Harris and his mob and G, Buffy, 
Whedon and Osborne were hitting out where they could.  The guests were 
running scared to every corner of the room, high decibel screaming following 
in their wake.  The highest pitch of all came from the decomposing former 
master of the ancient mansion in which they stood.

"AAAAAAARGH!  NEIN!!!  I AM MELTING, I'M MELTING!  STOP ZIS!"

Blond and the others stifled the urge to follow the yellow brick road whilst 
humming a jaunty tune.  But the hysterical screams of Weisswurst, aka Mr 
Kiss Kiss Gang Bang, focused everybody's attention on the main event.  Blond 
stood over the rapidly dwindling remains of W's captor spinning the 
reclaimed guns in expert hands.  He roared victory; a feral sound that 
chilled all that heard it.  Demon against demon had battled and the best had 
won.

After that, the fighting fizzled out.  Weisswurst's henchmen were only too 
happy to surrender now the threat of retribution for their failure was gone, 
and whilst there were a dozen or so followers of the 'Great Weisswurst' 
weeping and wailing and tearing at their clothes and hair, the majority of 
the guests were starting to wander away chatting excitedly about the 
pre-wedding feast and the best fight they'd been to in years.

G made his way towards W and was about to hand his gun to Harris so that he 
could help her up, but he spotted Ethan Rayne crawling out from under a 
table.  G's eyes narrowed as he focused on his target, steadying himself 
legs slightly apart and cricking his neck to take aim.  His ridiculously 
long pistol was steady as a rock as he took sight down its muzzle. BAM BAM 
BAM shell after shell thudded into Rayne's jerking body.

Rayne slid down the wall, clutching his chest and groaning.  "Ripper...oh... 
bug...ger..."

With a smile of satisfaction, G blew imaginary smoke from the end of the 
barrel, twirled the gun and holstered it in his belt.  W wobbled to her feet 
and took a couple of steps forwards until the golden chain tethering her 
ankle to the daybed jerked her.  Harris bent to tug at it but was unable to 
free his boss.

"Allow me."  Spike had lost the vamp face as he came over to his colleagues, 
his voice soft and husky with emotion.  He gripped the chain in both fists 
and pulled, the links separating easily with his enhanced strength.  W 
sagged against him, still shivering and she huddled gratefully into the 
warmth of his tuxedo jacket as it was wrapped around her shoulders.

Buffy watched as her husband gently lifted the exhausted woman in his arms 
and spoke softly to her, tenderly cradling her against his chest as he 
turned to face them.

"I knew you'd come for me," W mumbled into his neck, tears streaming down 
her face.

"Yeah, well – couldn't have my baby sister staking me in my sleep, now could 
I?  And you know that's just what would happen if I came back without you.  
Shhh, shhhhh – it's all right now.  Everything's alright."

Spike raised his head, suspiciously wet blue eyes seeking out their hazel 
twins.  He stilled as Buffy smiled at him, projecting all her love and 
relief through their bond.

Yes.  Everything was all right.  Time to go home.

++++

TBC – just the epilogue to come now.

++++

CUT TO:  An overloaded jet crammed full of tired and filthy agents, the only 
sounds snoring and general sleepy mumblings except for the heated discussion 
going on in a corner.

"I said no!  Somebody could see us!"

"Pffft.  Never stopped you before.  What?  You're a trembling virgin all of 
a sudden?"

"No, it's just.........STOP THAT!"

A different voice echoes from the huddle of sleepy forms.

"Yes, Buffy – do please stop that!"


Feedback would be of the good.  :D

Here's the epilogue to Spike Blond's latest adventure.  Huge thanks to Lou 
for the beta; she did a great job as usual and I hope you enjoy.  :D

DISCLAIMER : I own nothing, I crave everything.  Joss belongs to himself and 
his Mrs, James belongs to me I tell you!!!  No, but seriously....all is 
Joss's and he said we could play.

TITLE : Mr Kiss Kiss Gang Bang
AUTHOR : Debs aka SpikesDeb <spikesgirl_453@hotmail.com>
CHAPTER : Epilogue
RATING : NC17

MR KISS KISS GANG BANG – Epilogue

The crème de la crème of MI13 had departed Weisswurst's castle with unusual 
ease. The minions hadn't even noticed, befuddled by a mixture of despair at 
their loss and glee that their bondage was over.  Most of them were 
wandering about aimlessly as if wakened from a dream and Buffy supposed that 
the demon had used a mixture of drugs and thrall to keep his slaves in line. 
  She shuddered at the thought as she walked alongside her husband on their 
way to the jet.  W was still wrapped in Spike's jacket and cradled in his 
arms, her head lolling against him where she'd succumbed to exhaustion and 
fallen asleep.

The wet squad had run on ahead to ready the jet for takeoff, leaving Buffy, 
Spike, W, G, Harris and the two dazed agents, Osborne and Whedon, to set 
their own pace.  G walked in front, casting concerned looks back over his 
shoulder every few paces.  He felt honour bound to be the one to carry his 
old friend but conceded that Spike, with his superior strength, should be 
the one to bear her back to the jet.  He fidgeted with his glasses, pulling 
them on and off his nose in agitation.

"G, there's no need to hover – I'm not about to drop her now am I?  We 
agreed.  This is my turn, you can mind her on the jet, there's a good 
fellow.  Now eyes front!  You're making me blush!"

W stirred in his arms and croaked out raspy words.  "G...you all came for me..."

The gadgetmeister dashed to her side, taking her hand and squeezing it as 
they continued walking.  "Of course, W, did you doubt us?  Besides, this lot 
needed a good workout; it's been rather quiet and they're in danger of 
becoming fat and lazy."

Blond snorted.  As if!  He doubted they'd get any time at all to recover 
before they were reassigned to another mission.  It seemed as if there'd 
been a resurgence of evildoers lately and reports were coming in hourly of 
new – and not so new – foes that needed to be taken care of.  Master Bates, 
for one, had resurfaced along with the infamous Faith Layer and the wicked 
Kat causing mayhem and murder, and Spike regretted not taking the time to 
see an end to that beast.  Not an error he'd be repeating.

Soon the jet was in sight and it wasn't long before they'd all crowded 
inside and settled down where they could.  It was crowded but it felt like 
home.  Spike cleared a corner for W to curl up in, laying down a wad of 
coats for a makeshift bed and placing a kit bag beneath her head.  He begged 
Harris' tuxedo and covered her gently, stroking back the red hair from her 
face.  Buffy watched, her heart swelling at this gentle side of her vampire 
husband that she knew so intimately but hardly anybody else had ever 
glimpsed.  She wasn't jealous, well, not much - she couldn't help a slight 
twinge – but she understood his feelings.  These people were more than 
colleagues, they were almost family; and Weisswurst had struck at their very 
heart by snatching W.  Still, he'd got what he deserved.  She just wished it 
hadn't been such a quick death.

Buffy looked around for a place for Spike to snuggle besides her.  She'd 
missed him.  He'd only been gone a couple of hours but when he was on active 
duty those hours seemed like a lifetime.  She was desperate to get her hands 
on him, reacquaint herself with the feel of his skin beneath her fingers, 
the taste of his tongue and the tang of his lips.  She felt the flush of 
arousal start wending its way across her throat and face, her heart racing 
in her chest.  She looked back towards him and knew his eyes would be 
searching for her.

Oh yeah... she knew that burning melting look.  Mouth suddenly dry, she found 
a secluded space- and began to loosen her clothing.  Mile high club coming 
up...

Spike forced himself to ignore the scents and sounds, the call of his mate, 
and turned to listen to W as she spoke softly.

"Thank you for everything, Blond.  I mean it.  You didn't have to do this, I 
know.  Once an operative goes missing, standing orders are to destroy all 
links to avoid an infiltration of the service.  I mean, I hoped..."

A knowing look passed between them.

"Just returning the favour, W.  And besides – Tara's really scary when she's 
pissed!"

"Oh. You know!!  I thought maybe I'd misheard you earlier but no...so...are you 
really alright about it?"  Her green eyes were huge, her voice wavering as 
she watched his reaction.  Nobody had even known she was gay and now the 
brother of her lover, who happened to be a big scary vampire, had the power 
to crush her.

Spike Blond smiled at the woman he'd moved heaven and earth to rescue, a 
woman who meant so much to him and who'd risked her life and her career to 
bring him back to the fold a few short months ago.

"I'm more than alright.  I love my sister...and she loves you.  She's probably 
waiting for you at HQ.  When you'd gone missing she came charging through 
the door and Chase put the store on lockdown thinking it was some kind of 
vamp attack.  Of course...she does have her moments, I should warn you..."

They laughed together, easy in each other's company.  W's eyes were drooping 
though, the effort to stay awake too much.

"Rest now; there'll be time enough to catch up.  Good to see you, W."

Spike left her then and smirking in anticipation headed towards the soft 
arms and urgent kisses of his delectable Buffy.

++++++++++++++++++++++

"Hey, G-man – we're about twenty minutes from landing.  Shall we shake up 
the troops?"

"Hmmph...what...oh, Harris.  Pass me my glasses, would you; I seem to have 
mislaid them.   Ah, thank you.  Yes, yes – I suppose we should.  Leave W 
though, she needs the rest."  G struggled to his feet, stretching out the 
kinks and scanning the jet's interior.

"Where's Blond?  And Buffy?"

"Give you two guesses."

Harris motioned with his head to the back of the 'plane where a "Bathroom 
Occupied" sign could be seen glowing neon red.  "Been occupied virtually the 
whole flight.  Hell, I had to move away from the door – it's a pity you 
missed the soundtrack.  The man has serious stamina!"

G blushed.  The vampire's sex life was the subject of much speculation - and 
it must be said envy - among the men of the service, and the women still 
swooned when the suave spy passed their way.  But anybody with half a brain 
could see that Buffy and Spike Blond were matched in every way possible and 
neither of them would be looking for other partners.

"I suppose they do have to 'seize the moment' as it were; in Blond's line of 
work he never knows whether he'll be making it home.  Well, we can afford 
them a little time before they have to be made decent."

An orgasmic scream rattled the fuselage, pinking G's ears and bringing out 
Xander Harris' schoolboy smirk.  A number of the dozing soldiers lifted 
their heads and started out with the ribald comments.  Soon be home.

The sound of the landing gear engaging had everybody preparing for touchdown 
and gathering their belongings.  Buffy and Spike eventually sidled out of 
the bathroom, Buffy flushed and sweaty and Spike walking with an awkward 
gait and his hair tousled from its customary slickness.  Sniggers, whistles, 
and a round of applause greeted them and had Spike acknowledging the 
attention with a courtly bow and Buffy squealing and hiding behind her 
husband until she regained her composure.

'Yikes!  Busted...again!  Gotta learn to control myself...but I can't help it... 
those fingers touch my skin and it's hello Slutty Buffy... but I am only 
human, after all.'  Giving in to temptation was always so fulfilling.  Hell 
they were married; they could do what they wanted.  Where they wanted. When 
they wanted...even if they wanted to do it all the time.

++++++++++++++++++

After a short debriefing for the tired companions and a thorough check-up 
for W in the medical bay, they were all released for 24 hours' recuperation. 
  W was pronounced fit and well save for a little dehydration and some 
bruising but she was to be kept in a plush side-room overnight as a 
precaution.  After a crisply efficient nurse settled her into bed, Buffy and 
Spike held her hands and spoke to her softly, promising to locate and tell 
Tara to come see her as soon as they could get away.

G had scurried off to his beloved lab, eager to write up a report on the 
gratifying efficiency of the spermositers while it was still fresh in his 
mind; whereas Harris had an assignation with a certain Russian spy to attend 
to.  Anyanka Jenkinskovitch had been waiting out front in her Porsche as the 
weary agents trudged in to make their reports for the record.  She was 
wearing the fur coat that had played such a large part in their couplings to 
date, and very little else -  flashing a glimpse of bare breast at Xander as 
she swivelled in the seat of the bright red sports car to blow him a kiss.  
Osborne and Whedon almost tripped over each other in their dash to be first 
at their beloved desks, running their hands reverently over the solid 
reliable surface and making a pact never, ever, to come out from behind them 
again.

The Blonds and W jumped at the loud rap on the medical room door.  "Come 
in."

"Erm...W...there's a visitor here to see you...I think she's got clearance, isn't 
that right, 00666?"

Cordy was shoved to one side, stumbling on her killer-heel shoes as Tara 
burst into the room and threw herself into W's arms.  Buffy and Spike 
stepped back to give her room to check their boss over, because the lovesick 
vampire wouldn't be satisfied with what the medics said.  She needed to make 
sure for herself.

Cordy lingered by the door unable to tear herself away from the juicy gossip 
material unravelling in front of her.  She started when Buffy's acidic tones 
cut across her consciousness.

"Miss Chase?  I hope there's a good reason you've abandoned the front desk 
to intrude on this family time?"

Cordelia Chase, queen bitch of her high school, the girl most likely to 
succeed, according to her yearbook, by walking over her rivals in 
spike-heeled shoes, nonetheless knew she was outclassed by Buffy Blond née 
Summerpenny.  With an audible gulp, the brunette turned on her heel and 
scurried back to the Magic Box and the safety of data and numbers.

"Buffy..."

"What?"  She turned a dazzling smile on her husband as he looked at her 
quizzically.  "Oh she deserved it.  And besides, it's fun taunting her.  Did 
you see how I made her run?  Me?  Buffy Summerpenny...oh, sorry darling – 
Buffy Blond.  I'm so baaaaaaaad."

The giggle on her lips turned into a squeal as Spike scooped her up into his 
arms and kissed her fiercely.  "Want to show me just how bad, Mrs Blond?"

"Ahem."

The two broke apart and turned towards W and Tara to see the redhead flushed 
with embarrassment and Tara giggling, her vampiric hearing letting her in on 
the matrimonial discussion.

"Time to go, sweetheart?"

Buffy nodded at her husband's question.  "Yeah, I think these two deserve a 
little alone time, don't you?  Tara?  We'll make sure there's a car waiting 
to bring you home.  And W – rest up, and make sure you tell Tara about the 
Princess Leia outfit!"

"Thanks, Buffy, William – but I'm staying here with W.  I won't be letting 
her out of my sight again in a hurry."  W squeezed Tara's hand looking at 
her with green eyes full of love – and suddenly there was nobody else in the 
room.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy closed the door of their apartment behind her with a sigh of relief.  
It had been great to actually take part in a mission on her own merit, but 
it was even better to be home...with her vampire at this very minute filling 
the bathtub with scented oils and hot water to soothe her aching muscles.

"Fancy a drink, pet?  Snack maybe?  What do you want to nibble on?"

Buffy pounced, in one bound she had Spike gripped a round the waist with her 
thighs and her lips close to his.  "Mmmm...I was thinking of something a 
little more... substantial," she purred.

Steam from the tub was filling the bathroom, moistening skin and making 
Spike's dress shirt cling to his chest, outlining his well-muscled torso.  
The kiss was violent, bruising, a wild mix of teeth, lips and tongue that 
fuelled the already sparking embers into blazing passion until Buffy dragged 
her lips away reluctantly to take in a breath.  Blue eyes burned into her 
soul and stripped her bare – much as Spike's hands were now doing with her 
unwanted clothes.

"Hey, Mr Impatient – what happened to my nice relaxing bath?"

"Well, you need to get these off first...."

Buffy grinned at him and quickly took a step away leaving him clutching 
empty air.  Just as quickly she rushed him and knocked him backwards so that 
his legs hit the tub and he fell into the water with a splash, still wearing 
the now translucent shirt and tight black dress pants.

"Not necessarily...oooh look, yummy nipples"

Spike gasped, truly shocked by his wife's actions.  He couldn't take his 
eyes off her.  She was magnificent, cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling.  It 
wasn't often that he was lost for words but right now he couldn't think 
straight.  That ceased to matter when Buffy joined him in the scented water, 
knocking the faucet off and splashing as she positioned herself between his 
parted legs.

She finished the work he'd started on undoing her blouse, pulling the wet 
garment off her body and tossing it to the floor.  Her nipples were hard and 
clearly visible against the sodden lace of her bra, Spike reaching out a 
hand to cup one firm breast before Buffy pushed him away and undid the 
fastening.  The bra joined the blouse on the floor.

"Your turn..." Buffy commanded, huskily.  Spike sat up a little, the water 
surging round his back and lapping at Buffy's bare torso.  He didn't bother 
with niceties, ripping his shirt off as he got to his knees and began slowly 
licking up Buffy's stomach and across her breasts to capture droplets of 
water.  She shivered, his touch as always sending her into spasms of 
pleasure.  Her arms came up to wrap around his neck, fingers tweaking the 
moist curls at the nape as they pressed closer to each other; bare chests 
met and slid seductively with the oils Spike had added to the bathwater.

There was no need for words, the two got to their feet, water streaming from 
them with a tinkling cadence that soothed and excited in equal measure.  
Buffy reached for Spike's fly, Spike did the same at the buttons on her 
trousers and in sync the fastenings were released, the wet garments pooling 
in the bottom of the bathtub.  Now naked, Buffy raised her leg and hooked it 
around Spike's, pulling him towards her so that his erect cock pressed into 
her abdomen.  She made a tiny mewling noise in anticipation of the ravaging 
to come.

"Commando, Buffy?" Spike breathed at her neck.  "What's a nice girl like you 
doing with no knickers?"

Buffy sucked on his bottom lip and nipped at it, drawing blood and inflaming 
his senses.  She licked at the oozing wound with relish.  "I told you, Mr 
Blond...I'm bad..."

Spike gathered her to him and stepped out of the tub, sleek, wet, and 
trailing steam as he strode purposefully from the bathroom and into the 
bedroom.

Buffy squeaked as Spike threw her onto the bed, but recovered and eagerly 
scrambled so that her back rested against the headboard, her legs spread to 
accommodate the rampant vampire that followed her onto the satin quilt.  
Spike grabbed her legs and pulled her down the bed so that she lay beneath 
him, her hair fanned out on the pillow and her eyes glassy with desire.  The 
aroma of her arousal was making his head spin; he could hear her heartbeat, 
feel its thudding as it raced with excitement.  Her blood surged through her 
veins, honing his senses to almost painful intensity.  He could see the 
pulsing of her heart and made him desperate to bite her, to release her 
essence from the confines of her skin and flood his mouth with its glory.

"Yes...."

Her voice was whisper soft and he needed no further urging.

The fangs descended, his brow ridged and his senses heightened.  He fought 
the urge to tear at the flesh of her neck and merely lapped at her skin to 
settle himself.  Buffy wanted more.

"Do it!  You know how much I want to feel you..."

He knew what she meant; every time he fed from her and she tasted the tang 
of his blood on her tongue, their connection intensified and their bond grew 
stronger.  Whenever they'd been separated and in danger, Buffy craved the 
renewal of their relationship.  And truth be told, so did he.

Sharp fangs sliced into her skin, Buffy arching into his bite and gripping 
his shoulders to keep him feeding.  This act, the demon overtaking the man, 
defined their relationship.  She loved all that he was.   Hard and fast, she 
sank her teeth into the soft flesh of his neck barely drawing blood with her 
blunt incisors but releasing enough to coat her tongue and draw out a moan 
from her vampire.

Without removing his fangs, Spike nudged her legs further apart and slid his 
cock fully inside her slick passage.  Foreplay over.

Animal growls accompanied his thrusts; the rumble vibrating against Buffy's 
skin and adding to the sensory feast Spike was gifting her with.  Every inch 
of her body tingled with pleasure and once again she thanked whichever deity 
was listening for the joy that was her life.

"Flip," Spike snarled, ripping his fangs from her flesh; he needed to mark 
her right now, reassure the demon that this woman belonged to him and would 
do his bidding in all things.  And besides – Buffy liked it nasty every now 
and then...

Scooting backwards slightly to give her room, Spike looked down at his cock 
shiny with their combined juices and moaned, biting his lip and sucking it 
into his mouth.  She drove him crazy with want.  Buffy licked her lips and 
ran her hands from her thighs and up her body, making sure that Spike saw 
her fingers dip between her moist folds and followed their path up, up, over 
her breasts and finally finding sanctuary in her mouth where she licked them 
clean with her hot, pink tongue.

When she knew she had him teetering on the edge of self-control, she flipped 
over, kneeling with her elbows on the bed and her ass waving in the air.  
Her pussy glistened, the curls dark with her juices and the lips pink and 
plump from her arousal blood.  Spike reached for her, pulling her backwards 
to sink along his cock, his fingers bruising her hips where he gripped her 
and bounced her in time to his thrusts.

When Buffy rested her weight on one arm and slid her tiny hand down to tweak 
at her own clit, taking in a casual stroke of his length on the way, Spike 
was lost.  Unable to stop the impending flood of his ejaculation, he pushed 
Buffy down to lay flat and spread her legs wider, pounding her into the 
mattress and bouncing the bed away from the wall.

Buffy whimpered as her climax built, her nerve endings thrumming with 
electricity.  Almost without warning her pussy clenched hard around Spike's 
cock, dragging him over the edge into a bone-melting orgasm that seemed to 
have no end.  He kept moving in her, slowing now and gentler, when suddenly 
Buffy was ambushed by another climax from her eager and greedy body.

It took five minutes before they could speak and function.   Buffy's neck 
was raw from the bite and aching, but she loved it, and the way it 
reinforced their connection.  Spike noted her discomfort as she rubbed the 
twin puncture holes and let his cock slip from her warmth, rolling onto his 
side and scooping Buffy round her waist to nestle with her back against his 
chest.  She rubbed her ass against his groin as she snuggled, almost 
provoking a replay of their lovemaking, but to be honest, both of them were 
exhausted from the physical and emotional upheaval of the last week.  As 
Spike lovingly licked at the wound he'd given her as a mark of his love, 
Buffy drifted off to sleep happy and safe in her husband's arms.

Spike watched her doze off and only when he was sure she was breathing 
evenly and sleeping did he close his eyes and allow his guard to drop.

Another mission over.  A mission that had called not only on his skills as a 
spy, but his restraint as a friend and husband.  It had been tough.  But 
they'd got through it.

He just hoped that Buffy had now had enough of being in the field and would 
go back to operations at HQ.  He didn't think his restraint would last 
through another mission in which his wife was potentially in the line of 
fire.  Even though she'd not been in any immediate danger, the entire time 
he was dealing with Kiss Kiss and his goons he'd been wondering whether 
Buffy was alright.  It was distracting.  It could have cost him dearly.

But now she'd got the taste for it, knowing his wife as he did, he doubted 
that she'd go back to being the little lady behind the desk.  She was more 
likely to go all out for a double '00' licence herself.  Spike swallowed 
hard.

He had a feeling things were just about to get extremely interesting.

THE END



CUT TO : a shooting gallery, a bank of targets hung up in front of cubicles. 
  Gunfire comes from one of the cubicles, the aim of the shooter less than 
perfect.  A bullet zings around the concrete bunker, sparks following it.

"Buffy!  Will you please concentrate...that nicked my ear!"

"Sorry!  It's just......I'm being distracted, G...."

Platinum blond hair appears from below the counter, Spike Blond wiping his 
lips with the back of his hand.

"Oh for heaven's sake, 00666 – will you please leave your wife alone during 
her assessment."

"Just trying to help, old man.  She's got to be able to shoot straight no 
matter what's going on around her."

Girlish giggles as Buffy pushes Spike down below the counter and wriggles, 
raising the gun with shaky hands.  G ducks as the next bullet ricochets 
wildly.

"Oooops!  Sorry!!!"

DOOOO . TE . DOOOOOOOOOOOO; DOOOOOO . TE . DOOOOOOOOOOO.  DOO . TE . DOOO.



Buffy and Spike Blond will return in their next adventure – "Octobuffy"


Feedback would be appreciated and glomped.  :D