CHAPTER 16 – NEVER SO SWEET

"Love you, love you so much!" Spike said, between kisses.

"Spike," she sighed, through ragged breaths. Her body responded to his with a memory of its own. Every nerve ending, every muscle, every hair, every orifice had its own memories, had their own desires to be touched, tasted, licked; to be loved by this man. Spike, who was at the moment, physically beneath her, but not in spirit, not in his capacity to be good, to love and be loved. His capacity for those things, she realized was limitless.

Buffy had started this on top of Spike, with him beneath her, but she was determined that it wouldn’t end up that way, not tonight. She stopped kissing him long enough to look in his eyes; eyes filled with wonder. Before, when he’d looked at her like that it just had made her uncomfortable to know that she had so much power over him. Power that she’d abused. But not anymore. Her eyes, she hoped, reflected back the same wonder that his showed. Wonder that finally, she’d found her heart, and her heart was Spike.

Around to the front of her pajamas, he brought his almost shaking hands, to undo the buttons and free her from the top. Discarded, his hands reached up to tentatively cup each her of her breasts, his thumbs gently kneading her nipples. She moaned in pleasure, closing her eyes as she felt herself grow weak with pure desire.

He pulled her down; his head nestled between her breasts as she straddled him, moving up and down against him, her silky pajama bottoms the only thing between them.

Looking into her eyes, he glanced down at the necklace that rested on his chin. He put his hand underneath the chain to lift it up and look at it. As he glanced back at her, Buffy put her hand in his hand and squeezed hard, feeling the imprint of the necklace between both of their hands. Her mouth sought out his, as his hands went around her.

Buffy gasped, as Spike rolled them over, so that she was now on the bottom, his full weight on her, his desire, pressing almost painfully between her legs.

"Buffy," he whispered as he kissed her neck, her ear, her collarbone, then made his way down to her breasts.

As each new, yet old, familiar sensation coursed through her body, her back arched in anticipation. She could no more have stopped the movement of her body than could a mother in the throes of giving birth; autonomic nervous system, fully engaged.

Spike kissing her breasts, now shifted his body a little, starting to kiss her stomach, her belly button. His mouth rested on the skin just above the waistband of her pajama bottoms as his hand slipped down the front of them.

He felt like his hand might catch on fire, from the heat that Buffy was giving off, "God, you’re so hot, so wet, so hot," he murmured, as he brought his head down over the front of her bottoms, as his fingers found out just how hot she was.

"Wait! Stop!" she said suddenly, almost out of her mind with desire by now.

Spike froze, as if he’d been hit with a two-by-four. He was immediately taken back to the awful night in the bathroom when he’d tried to rape her. He felt the room spinning, as he forgot where he was. All he knew, was that he’d done something awful again, monster, not a man, soul or not…

He bolted upright, scaring Buffy. She looked at him scared, which only made his reaction worse.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry," he repeated, starting to shake and mumble about, ‘not hurting the girl,’ until she realized just what she had done to him that moment before.

"Spike. Spike!" she said, trying to get his attention.

Spike looked at her, laying there almost totally naked, while his brain tried to remember what had happened causing her to yell out to him. What besides the fact that he was hurting her again, trying to make her do something she didn’t want again…

Buffy got up on her knees and put her arms around him, "Spike," she said softly, "I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, or to make you feel that you were doing something wrong or hurting me," she said to him.

Spike looked at her, her little naked breasts pressed against his chest, eyes looking with love into his.

Slowly he regained his composure, his grip on the present, not the past, as he shuddered slightly, "What it, luv? What was wrong? I thought you were enjoying the way I was…."

"Oh my God, Spike, I was, I was!" she said, her eyes tearing up, thinking what she’d put him through.

"I just, I just…"

"What, Buffy?"

"I just…" she reached down and softly touched his cock, "I just want to feel you inside me, Spike. That’s all, I just want you inside me for tonight," Buffy said, looking him in the eyes.

Could there have been any more perfect words spoken in this world? To him? Ever?

"Ahhh, Buffy," he said, kissing her, "luv, Buffy!"

He gently laid her down, as he got on top of her, his hand pulled off her bottoms.

Her hand still holding him, she led him homeward.

And with a small moan, he was in. He closed his eyes, as her heat enveloped him, burned him, consumed him, made him want to weep.

Buffy cried out in pleasure, her hips rising to meet his thrusts, her body seeking out more and more, the pleasure of him, filling her up, making her whole. She didn’t want to be on top anymore, not in the metaphorical sense, or even the physical. Not tonight. Tonight was about letting herself be possessed, be loved, be claimed.

Her mouth sought his out and Spike slowed down his thrusts, so as to kiss her good and proper. He couldn’t believe this was the same girl that had so ravenously fucked him last year.

It had never been this sweet. Never had been really sweet at all, she'd never allowed it. Never let him love her, be tender with her, touch her sweetly; touch her face, her hair. She’d fucked him like she fought him; rough and to the point.

Only the one time that she’d allowed him to handcuff her, had he been free to shower her with his ‘unwanted’ affections.

Buffy felt like it was the first time. And in a way, it was. She was almost overwhelmed by this kind of lovemaking; the kind where Spike is looking into her eyes like she’s God’s gift and she almost believes that maybe she is, at that. She’d never felt more beautiful or desired than she did at this moment. Never.

She put her arms around his neck, "I love you, Spike," she whispered, hoping he knew that she did, hoping that he knew that he’d done enough already to win her, to atone, to be worthy of her. Worthy, what a joke! She’d been the one who hadn’t always been worthy.

Yet, still, he had loved her. Through thick and thin, good, bad, terrible, and worse, still.

"Love you ," she said, her lips coming up from his neck, to find his lips again. Soft lips of Spike. Spike lips.

Hands in her hair, on her face, homeward bound, "God I love you , Buffy!" Spike said, kissing her passionately, his tongue exploring her tasty, sweet mouth; candy, sweet like candy. Giving her candy to me.

Spike resumed his thrusts and they each moaned and groaned as their mutual passions crested like the ocean tides.

"Buffy, do you want me to help you along? Help you come?" he asked, as he put his hand down between them.

"I, it, matter, don’t, care, I, oh, Spike, god, oh, no just you, only you in me," Buffy tried to explain.

Spike removed his hand and thrust into her again and again. Deeper and deeper, until she could feel see lights sparking behind her eyelids, feel the rise and fall of desire so great it swept her like the ocean tide, until she felt the the sudden flush of warmth, and the even greater hardness, that was him; letting her know, that he too had arrived on the opposite shore.

He lay there on top her and she wished it could be that way forever. Him inside her, completing her, making her whole, and all the other corny cliches she’d only read, but never experienced. Don’t move, don’t go away. Ever. Stay. In me, on me, near me. Always. Arms wrapped tightly around him. Not alone, not anymore. No more self-induced abstinence from love for her. No more pining for her by him. No more alone, no more lonely.

Spike stirred, raising his head to look at her, "You okay, luv?"

"Uh-hmm," she said, pulling him back down.

He laughed, "Have to move sometime, pet."

"No, never," she said, "have to stay this way."

He raised up his head to kiss her, "Love you."

"Love, you too, Spike."

"Maybe this would be better, won’t be crushing you," he said, pulling her over on top of him, before she could protest.

"Ummmm, this good, too," she said sleepily.

He reached down and pulled the covers up over her, wrapping them both up in warmth and satiety.

CHAPTER 17 – MORNING SURPISES

Before you start, just two definitions, for those who don't geekspeak: IM'd = instant messaged, and ROTFLMAO = rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off. Now that I've clarified this bit of babble, please read on & enjoy!

Buffy half woke up, groggy, but with the feeling of being warm, enveloped. She half opened her eyes to find herself now on her side, curled up to Spike's back. She could hear him dialing up the phone-modem thingy. It was 8:30 A.M.

Spike felt her stir, "Go back to sleep, luv. Just checking on things. Everything's fine. Girls lining up outside the bathroom, Giles making tea, Willow and Kennedy having some coffee on the couch. Go back to sleep."

"I should let them know I'm ok," Buffy said, sleepily.

"Already did, IM'd Willow. Told her you were fine, just sleeping and that you'd sign on later."

"Thank you," she mumbled, nuzzling in closer to his back and putting her arm around his chest, her face into the back of his neck.

She heard him sigh, as she kissed the back of his neck and ran her tongue softly over his earlobe. She rubbed his chest, her hand going a little lower with each time, until it was just over his naval. She could feel him getting aroused by the way his body tensed up and pushed back into hers.

He reached behind him to cup her bottom through the covers and lightly began rubbing it. She was now getting deliciously aroused out of sleep.

He gave her an unexpected final pat and turned back to his side, taking her hand away from his stomach, brought it up to his mouth and gently kissed it, then brought it to rest under his, on his chest.

"Later, luv, later. Going to love you all right and proper, going to love you like you've never been loved. But now you sleep some more," Spike said, turning over to face her, he kissed her gently on the mouth.

She nuzzled into him, legs and arms entwining with his, head to chest, as close as was humanly (and vampirely) possible to get.

"Okay," she said groggily and fell soundly back to sleep; safe and warm in his arms.

Two hours later, she felt Spike start to get up.

"Don't go," she said.

"Be back, luv. Just going to get you some breakfast," Spike said.

"Don't want breakfast, just you."

"You got me. Always. But I want my girl to have lots of energy for the day ahead," he said, standing up, drawing up the covers to her neck and planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Why's that, Spike?" she said, grinning.

"Well, besides the fact that I want to fuck you into the next century?" he said, grinning right back, eyebrow arched wickedly. "Oh, there's some things that I want to show you around here. Never had a guest before."

"Oh, okay," Buffy said with a false pout.

"Do you want breakfast in bed, or do you want to come out to the kitchen to eat?" he asked.

"Kitchen will be okay. You don't have to do this, I can fix something, you know," she said.

"I know, but I want to. You're my guest. I've been moochin' off you at your house enough, time for me to be the host, okay?" Spike asked.

"Okay, I'll let you," Buffy said, giggling.

It made him happy to hear her laugh. She didn't do that much these days. Not at all, in fact.

"I'll call you when it's done, pet," Spike said, as he walked out the bedroom door.

"Okay," Buffy answered.

While Spike was busy in the kitchen, Buffy lie there and listened to the sounds of the birds she could hear outside, the sounds of the breakfast-making goings on. She didn't know when she'd felt so good, so stress-free. Sure, it was just temporary, but she was damned if she wasn’t going to enjoy it! She didn’t even remember the last time she’d heard birds. Were they still around in Sunnydale, or was she just so preoccupied with all that had, was, and was still going to go on that she didn’t even hear them anymore.

Time to stop moping. She rose and sat on the side of the bed. She could just start to smell coffee and food and her stomach gurgled in anticipation.

One more thing to do, before breakfast. She dialed up the phone-modem-laptop and got IM'd Willow, who luckily was online.

Slayer1: you there Wil?

Wicca1: Buffy, how are you?

Slayer1: hungry

Wicca1: oh?

Slayer1: breakfast is being cooked as I speak

Wicca1: a vampire of many talents

Slayer1: no comment

Wicca1: :):):):):)????:):):):)

Slayer1: ok, got to go, everything's ok?

Wicca1: fine, no problems

Slayer1: how’s Dawn?

Wicca1: staying at Janice’s for the weekend

Wicca1: already talked to her this morning, going

to the mall with Janice and her mom

Slayer1: fun for her, does she have money?

Wicca1: yeah, stopped by the house and I gave her

$10 and Xander gave her $20, think even Giles gave

her $10 or $20

Slayer1: oh, God, you guys shouldn’t have!

Wicca1: we don’t mind, it’s something for the greater

good, right?

Slayer1: greater good?

Wicca1: like your weekend – a chance to be normal

Slayer1: normal, yeah, like that sound

Wicca1: forgot to tell you, Wood called

Slayer1: when?

Wicca1: yesterday, right after you left, wanted to

Know why you were a ‘no show’ on the job

Slayer1: shit, totally forgot, what’d you tell him?

Wicca1: usual b.s., hard night slayin’ now that he knows

about it, it was a good excuse, true, too

Slayer1: suppose he wondered why I didn’t call

Wicca1: probably, do you care

Slayer1: only that I don’t get fired, but otherwise, NO!

Wicca1: I see…:):):):):)????:):):):)

Slayer1: STOP, I BEG YOU, STOP!!!

Wicca1: when you coming back? tonight?

Slayer1: tomorrow night, probably

Wicca1: good, good for you

Slayer1: Giles pissed?

Wicca1: I'll ask him, GILES...

Slayer1: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wicca1: ROTFLMAO

Slayer1: ha-ha

Slayer1: ok, got to go, breakfast calls, love to everyone

Wicca1: have fun

Slayer1: intend to, educational, of course

Wicca1: of course, bye

Slayer1: bye - love you Willow, thanks

Wicca1: love you, too, Buffy, you're welcome

Buffy walked through the connecting bathroom, took a quick shower, then dressed and came out for breakfast.

Spike came out of the kitchen just as she was coming through the dining room.

"Just coming to get you. All showered, I see," he said.

"Yep, fresh as a daisy now," she answered.

"Come on, got your coffee and some eggs, bacon, and toast for you," he said, taking her arm, "but first you have to close your eyes, got a surprise for you."

"Surprise? What?"

"Not a surprise if I tell, now is it? Come on now, close ‘em!"

She closed her eyes and let Spike lead her to the kitchen; she heard a door being opened. He led her through it, then opened a second one. Buffy felt a gust of cool air against her face.

"Okay, open ‘em," he said.

She opened her eyes, and stood there mouth open, as she stared at about 3" of freshly fallen snow. It was the first real snow she had seen since she’d been about 5 and had gone to the mountains with her parents; except for that freak snowfall in Sunnydale about 4 years ago.

"Snow!"

"Yeah, happened overnight. What do you think?"

"It’s beautiful, like a Christmas card," she said, as she stepped down the stairs to stand in the snow, forgetting that she was barefoot, she hopped back and forth from one foot to the other, laughing.

Spike just stood there smiling, watching Buffy obviously enjoying herself.

"Think you’d better get back here before your footsies get frost-burned," he said, laughing.

"Frost-burned? Isn’t that an oxymoron," Buffy said, stooping to pick up some snow, making it into a snowball and lobbing it at Spike.

"Don’t make me come down there and get you!" he warned.

She threw another one.

"That’s it, you’re in trouble now, missy!" he said, as he leaped off the porch and came running at her, grabbing a handful of snow as he did.

Shrieking, she ran around the house, with Spike in full pursuit.

"She screamed as he hit her in the back with the snowball.

She slowed down, just long enough for him to grab her and tackle her onto the ground.

Giggling, she rolled over on top him, throwing snow up into his face, "Spike, you’d make a good snowman," she said, laughing.

Looking at him seriously, she said, "I’ve never made a snowman."

He gently tossed some snow at her, "Well, then AFTER breakfast, we shall do just that!"

"Spike! OH MY GOD, SPIKE!" Buffy gasped, looking at him, green eyes large.

"What? What is it?" he asked, leaning up on his elbow, concerned at he tone.

"It’s YOU, you’re outside. It’s daylight!"

"Surprise number two, luv," he said smiling.

CHAPTER 18 – THE HEART OF WILLIAM

"How?"

"I’ll tell you once you're back inside, having your breakfast, which is getting cold as we speak, and you're all nice and warm again, ok?" he said, getting up and picking up Buffy like a sack of potatoes.

"Stop," she laughed, "I can walk."

"Nope, enough cold, wet snow on me-lady, for now!" he said, and carried her back into the house, through the kitchen, dining room, living room, and to the door of her bedroom.

"Now go change, like a good girl!" he said, setting her down, giving her a gentle push on her behind, into the bedroom.

"Tell me, Spike!"

"After you change. I'm going to re-warm your breakfast for now," he said walking away.

"Aren't you going to change, too?"

"After breakfast; cold and wet doesn't really bother me," he said, as he walked into the kitchen.

'Obviously, not the daylight around here, either,' Buffy mused to herself, as she walked into the bedroom.

A couple of minutes later, she reappeared in the kitchen.

Expecting more of the Victorian look, she almost laughed when she walked into the kitchen. It had a small, old-fashioned linoleum covered table, chrome outside around the edges and two chairs, obviously a throwback to the 60’s. Along the opposite wall from the door to the porch and outside, there was a much older 30’s style stove and Fridgedair-type icebox.

The table was set with an odd collection of both antique type dishes and 60's style silverware.

Spike handed her a cup of coffee, "Cream and sugar, right?"

She nodded, as he brought out a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast and set them down.

"Sit, eat," he said, pulling out a chair for her, then sitting opposite her, a cup of coffee and a cup of blood in front of him.

She started to ask him again, but hunger got the better of her, as she dove into her breakfast.

"Good?" he asked her. "Not much of a cook, but I’ve been watching your resident ‘Guestage,’ Andrew," he said laughing.

She rolled her eyes, "It’s good, really. Best breakfast ever!" she said, stuffing her mouth with a piece of toast.

They made small talk until finally, four eggs, five slices of bacon, and three pieces of toast; she was finished.

She wiped her mouth on her napkin and set it down, "Thank you Spike, that was great, I didn’t realize how hungry I was. God, I ate a lot!"

"Yeah, Slayer, I mean Buffy, you sure can put it away, for a little tiny thing," Spike said, laughing at her indignant face she was giving him.

"Okay, Spike. I ate my breakfast, now tell me: how?"

"How I don’t do an imitation of a ‘burning bush,’ you mean, luv?"

Buffy nodded.

Spike stood up, "I’ll show you," he extended his hand to her.

He walked her through the door leading to the porch and beyond again.

"Remember how I told you that when I sold some of the land for mining, that I made sure the buyers re-forested, re-planted, re-whatever’d you call it, when they were done? Well, as I was building, and remember, it’s been over 60 years since this place was first started, I made sure that trees were replanted, too, where they’d been felled. Lots of dense, fast-growing trees," Spike said.

Buffy looked at him questioningly, "What does that have to do with…"

"It’s dense, Buffy. Really densely forested around here. I’ve made sure that over the years, that the trees were close together, that the sun couldn’t get through them, not in most places around here anyway; made myself some paths along the densest parts of the forests. I helped the ‘density part,’ by using some fast-growing types of trees. I even used some thatching techniques the Indians used for roofing, to cover up some areas where the sun would come through the trees; some small areas between them, on some of the paths I made…That’s all there is to it, Buffy. Just some tweaking on the fine job ‘Mother Nature’ made up here and voila! Spike is sun-proofed."

Buffy just looked at him shaking her head in amazement, "But why, Spike, why go to all the bother?"

He looked at her, a puzzled look shadowing his face, "Dunno, pet. Never much thought too deeply about it. Just…sort of…wanted to live more…"

"Like William?" Buffy said softly, finally understanding.

Spike turned quickly away from Buffy, before not before she could see the pain and embarrassment in his face.

She felt her eyes grow moist; even years ago, soulless Spike the killer vampire, had still possessed, to some degree, the heart of William, his sensibilities, his desires. Even before her, he’d wanted to belong, if only to the world around him in his little forested home. All that work, over the years, just to belong

She came up behind him and put her arms around him, nuzzling his neck, "It’s beautiful here, Spike," she said, just holding him.

He felt his turmoil release, at her soft touch as he relaxed into her embrace. He cleared his throat, "So, did you bring some warm socks?" he felt her nod into his neck, "good, we could take a walk then, if you like," again felt her nod in agreement.

He turned around to kiss her willing mouth, desire flooding both of them, turning legs into jelly.

He broke it off, "Later pet, that’s a promise, going to…" he groaned, letting her know with his kiss and his tongue, instead of with words.

Finally, he stepped back from her, looking at her with desire, shaking his head, "God Buffy…"

"What?" she said, smiling demurely, and taking a step toward him.

"No, no, none of that, or we’ll never get out of the house. Go get ready; some things I want to show you," he said, heading back inside to change.

"Oh, okay," she said a little disappointed. Spike sure was being the paragon of virtue around here this morning and it was killing her. Her body, having once again, experienced the sensation that was Spike, was calling out, no, make that ‘throbbing out’ for more of the same.

CHAPTER 19 - IT'S NOT FROSTY!

Buffy returned to the kitchen a few minutes later dressed in her warm jacket, leather gloves, a hat, and a pair of hiking boots she'd brought. Spike was already waiting for her, carrying a medium sized backpack with him. He had changed his wet clothes and was wearing a long sleeved black pullover, black jeans, and an old army jacket that she'd never seen before, and of course, his Doc Martens.

"What's in there," she asked nodding toward the backpack.

"You'll see," he answered.

"More surprises, huh?" she said, smiling. He was sure full of surprises over the past day, that was for sure.

"Let's go," he said, opening the porch door for her.

They walked outside, and into the snow covered, tree shaded yard. The temperature had risen somewhat and the snow was beginning to melt away a bit.

"Better make that snowman now, if you want to, before it melts," he said.

"Okay," she said, then paused.

"What is it?"

"Show me."

He looked at her, questioningly.

"How to do it, I've never made one before," she said, looking sheepish, "I know, underprivileged, snowman making just doesn't come with living in Southern California."

He smiled, putting down the backpack and starting to roll the snow into what would become the bottom of the snowman.

"You do the same, Buffy, then we'll have the middle of him," he said to her.

Buffy bent over and they both rolled the snow into large and medium sized round snowman parts. Once Spike was done with his, he placed hers on top of his. "Now you get to make a head," he told her, "be right back," he said, going inside.

When he came back out he had a carrot in one hand, and an old scarf and hat in another, he looked at her and smiled as she put the head up onto the body, packing in the sides along the bottom, so it would stay.

"Becoming quite the snowman making expert, I see," he said.

"What's that?"

"Part of the snowman's attire, and his nose; the carrot was in the grocery goody bag from Edna," he said, handing them to her.

Buffy placed the hat on his head then wrapped the scarf around its neck.

"What about his eyes and mouth?" she said, holding onto the carrot.

"Well, don't have any coal...oh, wait, I know," he said, and sprinted back into the house. He came out a few moments later carrying some small, blackened pieces of wood he'd gotten out of the fireplace.

"We'll just break these up and use them, they're almost like coal, black at least."

Buffy took off her gloves and went to work breaking the wood into eye and mouth like pieces. A couple of minutes later, she had made her face for the snowman.

"What do you think?" she asked him, standing back to admire it?

"It's great," he said, "very admiral job, for your first time.

He looked at her as frowned, "What's the matter?" he asked.

"Turn around, don't look!" she instructed.

He shook his head in bemusement and laughed, but turned around, anyway. He could hear her breaking up more pieces of wood.

"Okay, now you can look!" she told him.

He turned around and stared at the snowman, his mouth opening, then roaring with laughter, "I think that is the best snowman I've ever seen!" he exclaimed.

Buffy had replaced two of the round pieces of wood that made up the snowman's mouth, with two pointy ones. She now had a vampire snowman.

"Thought you'd like it!" she said, "I like it much better, myself, in fact," she said, as she bent down, to 'wash' the burnt wood off of her hands with snow, before putting on her gloves, again.

"Spike the Snowman!" she said, patting Snowman Spike on the head, and looking over to smile at the real deal.

"Come on, let's go," Spike said to Buffy, as he started walking down the nearest, almost hidden trail.

Leaving the snowman behind, with a fond glance, Buffy followed Spike on the trail. For the most part, they walked along in amiable silence, just enjoying the smell of the pine and fir forest.

"I like this," Buffy said, "it’s like a real forest, not all chaparral, all shrubby," Buffy said.

"It is a real forest," Spike said, "but I know what you mean, something more ‘real’ about it. Something primal about being all surrounded by big, tall trees."

They had been hiking on fairly level terrain, when after about 10 minutes; the trail had rose slightly. After another 10 minutes, Spike said, "But, lest you forget where you are…take a look there," he said pointing to a clearing.

She walked over to it, and gasped. At the precipice, looking off in the distance, maybe 100 miles or more, she saw the desert.

"It’s like another world," she said, then after a final glance, she turned; looking back at Spike.

He nodded.

She had come away from the edge and back toward him, "I like this one better," she said, only inches from him.

He nodded again, reaching out to touch her hair, "Me, too," he said, pulling her up close, to kiss her soft, willing mouth.

He groaned. Everything she was doing today, saying to him, was making him crazy with desire, he could hardly wait to get her alone, where he wanted her to be, just one more thing first.

"Buffy," he said, pulling back from her with difficulty, as she was holding on, "don’t think you want to get a frost-bitten bum, now do ya?"

"There’s lot’s of trees," she said, suggestively "nice straight, lean-up against trees."

Spike pulled her to him, kissing her roughly, making her gasp, "You’re killing me here, Buffy!"

"Spike," she half whimpered, "please…" she said as she backed him up against the nearest willing tree.

"Oh, fuck. Buffy, sweet Jesus," he moaned, his arms around her then, pulling her in close, hands under her jacket, up under her top, making her breath come in ragged gasps.

She unzipped his pants, freeing him, as he slipped his hands down the front of her pants, making her legs almost give out from underneath her.

"Wait, wait," she gasped. She took a step back, removed one boot and pulled down one pants and panty leg, swinging the pants leg over her arm, so it didn’t drag on the ground.

Spike in the meantime, had spotted another tree with lower lying branches. He half carried, half-dragged Buffy, hopping on one, booted foot over to it. He picked her up, and her legs went around him, as her lips sought his out, her body almost singing out joyously as it connected with his.

"Hang onto these," Spike said, using his head to point upward at the branches. She reached up, hooking her arms through them, as Spike thrust into her, holding onto her bottom as the back of his hands scraped along the bark of the tree.

She wanted to let go, run her hands through his hair, over his face, but she knew the consequences of that…falling.

"Buffy, pet, love you, oh God!" Spike said, as he kissed her, holding onto her tight, until they were finished; Buffy, Spike, tree.

She let go of the tree, "I love you," she said, as he let her down.

"Who? Me or the tree?" he asked, in mock jealousy.

"Both, " she said," giggling, as she held onto his shoulder with one hand, and put he panty and pants leg back on with the other, then hopped across the trail with him to retrieve her other boot.

"Bye tree, couldn’t have done it without you," Buffy said, giving the tree a fond pat goodbye as they started back on the trail.

"We’re going to double back along this other ridge. Have to meet up with Clem," Spike said.

"Okay," Buffy said, as they started hiking.

A couple of minutes later she started snickering.

He looked over at her, caught the look on her face and broke out laughing, too, as he grabbed her hand, "You’re incorrigible," he said.

"Yeah, so I am," she said, smiling sweetly at him and squeezing his hand back.

They came down from the ridge and spotted the small cabin in the distance. It looked a lot like Spike's house, only smaller in size and with a much smaller front porch.

Walking up to it, Buffy could already smell brunch being prepared. Spike knocked on the door.

"Buffy! Spike! Come in!" said an apron wearing, smiling Clem.

"Clem," Buffy said smiling, as she gave him a hug, "whatever you're cooking, it smells just delicious!"

"Oh, just some bear, in a urine-yak sauce," he said.

"Oh," Buffy said, smile frozen.

"JUST KIDDING!" Clem said, laughing.

"Oh, thank God!" Buffy said, laughing, too.

"You know, I may be a demon, but I have the heart of an epicure!"

"Yeah, barbecue chicken wings," Spike added, scoffing.

"Not only that Boss, not only that. That's just fun food, I happen to have very refined tastes in real food, too." Clem said.

"Is that right?" said Spike, still laughing.

"That's right! Before you knew me, I had gone to a very famous cooking school in France," Clem said, looking hurt.

"You did?" Buffy asked, after giving Spike a sidelong glare that told him to be quiet.

"I did!"

"When?"

"When I was still human, before I was turned," Clem said.

"Human? You were human Clem? You weren't always a demon?" Buffy asked, amazed. She'd never thought of him as anything but a demon, albeit, a very endearing, sort of gay one.

"Look, why don't you kids come in, have some brunch, then I'll tell you all about it Buffy," he said, taking their coats from them and hanging them on a hook near the front door.

"Great," said Buffy.

"I'll be right back with the food, you guys make yourself at home," Clem said, walking off into the kitchen.

"Need some help in the kitchen, Clem?" Buffy asked.

"No, I got it taken care of, you kids just relax," Clem said as he walked through the swinging door leading into the kitchen.

Clem smiled as he walked into the kitchen. He could smell them on each other as they walked into the cabin. Ah, love! It made him happy to see Spike and Buffy together, finally.

Buffy turned to Spike and smiled at him, "Clem was human?"

Spike nodded, "Yeah," he answered, "just like I was, just like you are," he said, grabbing her for a hug.

She put her face up to his for a kiss, "Ummm," she said, hugging him back, tightly.

Clearing his throat, Clem opened the door to the kitchen, "Brunch is served, come on in," he said.

Buffy and Spike broke away, and came into the kitchen.

Clem's kitchen was furnished more like what she'd imagined Spike's should have looked like, all Victorian. Small, dark, mahogany table, and matching chairs, with velvet padded seats.

Clem saw her taking it all in, "Do you like it?" he asked.

"Very nice," she answered, "Edna?"

"How'd you guess?" he asked, laughing.

"Well, come on, sit down. Let's eat."

Clem proceeded to ladle out a thick bouillabaisse, served along with thick slices of bread. Buffy and Clem's were white, Spike's was decidedly red in color.

"Added some blood to yours, Spike," Clem said.

"Appreciate that, mate," Spike said, picking up his spoon.

"I couldn't decide on whether this would go with white or red, so I settled," Clem said, as he poured them a glass of Merlot.

"Clem! This is delicious!" Buffy exclaimed, after taking a spoonful of the soup.

"Well, thank you, Buffy," Clem said, smiling proudly. "The bouillabaisse, I made on my own, the bread is from Dudley's Bakery in Santa Ysabel; they have the most mouth watering bread in the world!" he said, dreamily.

"Ummm! Have to agree with you, there," Buffy said, biting into a piece.

"How did you, er, go into the bakery? I mean, demon looking," she said, then seeing his face, added, "though, a very cute demon."

"Cute? Thanks Buffy," Clem said, "I can actually revert back to my human face, only it's not so easy. Can't wear it most of the time like Spike can here," he said looking across the table at Spike.

"Really? I had no idea," Buffy said.

"It's...well, it's sort of painful to do it. Watch," Clem said, and with much effort, he turned from his usual, wrinkly self, to an attractive, young, brown haired man, probably in his mid-twenties.

"Clem!" Buffy exclaimed, looking at his human face for the first time, "my gosh, you're even cute as a human!"

"Thanks," he said, groaning as he turned back, breathing hard, "like I said, a rather painful thing for me to do. But very worth it for Dudley's bread," he said, taking a bite.

"Dudley's Bakery, have to remember that," then she turned to Spike, "think we can stop there and get some bread tomorrow, on the way back?"

"Sure," Spike said, not looking at her.

Damn! She'd said the word; back. Back to Sunnydale, back to reality. She didn't want to think of it at all, not today! Instead, she'd gone and blurted the word out.

She reached under the table and rested her hand on his knee, giving it a squeeze, letting him know that for now, she was with him 100%. In the now.

And the now was wonderful.

He took his right hand off of his lap and put it over hers. He kept his eyes down, not wanting to reveal his emotional reaction to the word, back.

Bugger it! He didn't want to be such a wanker. Not like he didn't know that the real world was only a day away, just didn't want to think of it right now. Just for one day, let it be away, over there, not here, not today.

Buffy cleared her throat, "It's all wonderful, Clem," she said.

"Well, thank you, Buffy," he answered. He'd felt some moment of sadness pass between them, at the mention of going home. Poor kids, never had the chance to be anywhere besides Sunnydale; not the best place to have a relationship.

"So, you were human? Tell me," Buffy said.

"Okay," Clem said, wiping the folds of his face off, with his napkin.

"Around the early 40's or so, I had returned from France and had my first job as a cook for the King George Hotel in San Francisco. One night on my way home, I was attacked by demons. I was never so scared. At first I just thought it was some gay boys dressed up in a really strange form of drag. Even back then the gay boys...oh never mind. Anyway, they pulled me into an alley and just about killed me, when Spike, here, saved me."

"You saved Clem?"

Before he could answer, Clem continued, "he sure did, he pulled the demons off of me and killed them right then and there on the spot!"

"Was gonnna kill you, too, if you remember," Spike said.

"Yeah, but you didn't. You let me go," Clem said.

"Why'd you let him go, Spike?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know, just heard this fight, was in a pissed off mood; probably mad at Dru...Anyway, killed the demons and was going to take a chunk out of Clem here, but he was such a young git, just changed my mind," Spike said shrugging.

"Yep, told me to, 'Get the hell out of here,' " Clem said, smiling fondly at the memory.

"What happened then? How did you two become friends?" Buffy asked.

"Well, the demons that had attacked me, had already bitten into me, and had infected me; most demons can’t turn someone into what they are, but lucky me," he said, with ever so slightly a bit of irony, "these ones could. Anyway, within a couple of days, I was growing into a totally different type of person; being, as you can see," he said laughing.

"So, by the time Monday comes around, I have to call the hotel up and quit my position. I'd already grown about fifty pounds of extra skin, things are beginning to stick out of my face, whenever I couldn’t control my emotions; like what you saw, when I showed the girls at the bar that night."

Buffy nodded.

"Anyway, I'm totally confused, lost, scared, I didn’t know what to do. I start wandering around the wharf, looking for someone, anyone, any thing; that could give me any sort of answers about what was happening to me. Finally, I run into Spike one night. He's about to kill me, like he did those other demons who had attacked me, when I tell him who I am," Clem said.

"Yeah, I remember. You were a mess, mate," Spike said, taking a drink of his Merlot.

"Well, Spike here gives me some advice on living as a demon, then tells me he's heading off to Julian. Well, I don't have any friends at all anymore. I was alone in the city to begin with; my family from back east was dead; not that they'd been the understanding types. Gay, demon son, not exactly..." he just shook his head.

"So you went with Spike to Julian?" Buffy asked, looking at Spike.

"Not exactly ‘went with,’ more like, sort of followed him. Watched him rage when he saw that his house hadn't been finished. Watched him confront, then comfort Edna," Clem said, smiling sadly at the memory.

"So how did you find out about him following you?" Buffy asked, looking at Spike.

"I didn't really, not until I came back a year later and had found that some of the house had been further finished. I didn't know what to make of that. Remember; I hadn't started to finish it as of yet, and I knew Edna wouldn't have hired anyone. Only thing I could figure was that some of the original work hadn't been finished yet, and the men had come back. Either that or someone else had designs on taking over the house altogether," Spike said.

He continued, "So, I go to my favorite cave, where I use to stay, and who do you think is holed up there?" he looked toward Clem.

"Of course, at first I'm pissed off, finding him there. Ask him what the hell he thinks he's playin' at, being on my land, messing around with my house? And of course, he tells me he just wanted to help, seeing as I had nobody to do the work for me anymore," Spike said. "So, I thought why not? He was right of course, I needed someone to help me with the building, and him being human rather recently, well, he had more knowledge of that kind of thing than I did."

"And, I," Clem added, "well, I sort of looked on Spike as a sort of protector and mentor. I mean, he did save my life once, and he knew all about how to be a demon." Clem said, looking fondly at an embarrassed Spike.

"That's how you came to work for Spike." Buffy said.

"Yep, that's about it. Over the years, we've pretty much built everything around here ourselves," Clem said, nodding. "Built both houses, the road, even fencing around the inner 10 acres.

"And a fine job, if I do say so myself," Buffy said, smiling at both of them.

An hour later they were sitting in the living room, drinking Merlot and listening to Clem's latest CD, A Tribute to John Lennon, Rufus Wainwright's version of Across the Universe, wafted from the speakers.

"I like that song," Buffy said.

"Knew the Beatles," Spike said, smugly.

"You're so full of it, Spike!" Buffy said.

"Stake me if I'm lying, Slayer," he said, using the 'other' name, looking hurt.

"No shit?" she asked.

He nodded, "I'll tell you about it one day, "he said, "if you're lucky," he added, with a smirk.

He got up from the couch and returned with his backpack, "Better check up on the kiddies," he said, pulling out her phone and the laptop.

She felt guilty, she'd totally forgotten.

He dialed the connection, "Take a look," he told her, "it's fine."

She took the laptop from him and looked at the various scenes of a Saturday at the very packed Case de Summers. She nodded, handing it back to him.

Just then she heard the beep of the IM. She looked at Spike.

"Wanna take that?" he asked her.

She shrugged, "Who is it?"

"Dunno pet, says it’s from a ‘RWSDHS,’ mean anything to you?" he asked, handing her back the laptop.

RWSDHS: Buffy, are you there? I got your IM from Giles

Buffy took about a half second to figure out who it was from - Robin Wood!

"It’s Robin, the principal," she said quietly to Spike."

"Oh," he said, getting quiet.

"He said that Giles gave him my IM. Damn that Giles," she said, hoping Spike knew that she wasn’t at all happy to hear from Wood.

They both knew that meant that Wood probably knew that Buffy was away. With him.

"Aren’t you going to answer him?" Spike asked.

"Spike, I….I don’t…"

"You sort of have to, don’t you?" he asked her softly.

She could feel his emotions warring within him, as shadows crossed his face. He was willing to sacrifice for her, even if it meant giving a part of her up; share her; if they, if someone else needed her; didn’t even feel the right to claim all of her attention, all of her affections for even a single day. He’d brought her here for her own sake, selflessly. And that act, the final straw-breaking-the-camel’s-back-act, along with all his other ones lately, had finally, irrevocably, cinched the deal for her. The journey had been long -from her questioning if she really did love him, and even if she did, should she do anything, say anything about it, to finally giving herself permission to do what was in her own self-interest for once. Hers and his; and still, here he was, still doubting that he was even worth such a little amount of her full attention…

"No, Spike. I really don’t," she said, clicking off the connection.

She looked a surprised Spike in the eyes, "I don’t have to answer to anybody today but myself. MYSELF and MY conscience," she said, taking his hand, "and my conscience is clear. I don’t owe anybody any explanations of my whereabouts, my decisions, or my time."

"I’m your girl," she said tightly gripping his hand, as if trying to make him understand, silently pleading for him to, "nobody else’s; your girl!"

My girl.

that’s my girl, put it all on me

The words she’d spoken to him last night and now again; the very implication simply stunned Spike speechless. All those times last year calling her that; almost taunting her as they’d dripped off of his tongue, like a combination of venom and honey. She’d recoiling from them; from him. And him, not even realizing the depth of what they meant to either of them.

Now they’d become her words. She’d said she wanted to be "his girl," made a choice to come up here, share his house, his bed, his love…after all this time and all the wrong choices each of them had made, especially him, and she chose him. Over the principal, nice, normal, the well dressed, smelling good, on the right side of the fight principal. She chose him. Over what was sure to be Giles’ displeasure. She chose him.

Him.

His girl.

He drew himself up. Proudly, even, "My girl," he echoed back to her. "Okay Buffy," he said to her. He’d never let her down, never hurt her; fight along side her to his death, if that was what it took, "okay."

Clearing his throat, Spike asked, "So, did you bring that extra blood?"

"Yeah, it's in the kitchen," Clem said, "I'll get it."

"No, that's alright, I'll get it," Spike said, standing up.

After the door closed to the kitchen, Clem turned to Buffy.

"I like your necklace, Buffy," Clem said.

She smiled, looking down at the lovebird necklace, "Thanks, Spike bought it for me, at The Rittenhouse last night. He’s just full of surprises," she said shaking her head.

Clem nodded.

"Spike's good people. Well, a good vampire, in any case."

"I know," she answered him, "took me a while to figure it out, but I think I have."

"I'm happy for you. For both of you. I've been rooting for you guys to get together finally!"

"Thanks, Clem," Buffy said.

"You know, if...if anything happens to me, you'll, would you...?" Buffy started

"What Buffy? Would I what?" Clem asked.

"Look after him, make sure he doesn't, I don't know...do anything rash, anything crazy. I would want him to move on..."

"Oh Buffy! Don't talk like that! Everything’s going to be all okey-dokey! You'll see," Clem said cheerfully.

"I hope so," Buffy said, "still, if and I'm just saying if...if anything happens, I want you to tell him that I told you, to tell him that I love him, that I always will, but that I don't want him to hurt himself, to live in pain. Tell him that I want him to..."

She stopped. She couldn't use the words, 'move on,' she'd used those very words last year and he had been so bitter. Of course, last year had been another story.

"I want you to tell him that he will love again, that I know he's loved me better than anyone ever has, but that he has too much love inside him to not love someone, a lucky someone, again. Please? Promise me that you will!" she said, gripping his hands.

"Of course I will Buffy," Clem said, squeezing her hands back. He sniffled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to make you sad, Clem," she said, giving him a hug.

"Buffy?"

"What?"

"I don't think anything bad will happen, but this stuff...I think maybe you should tell

Spike this yourself," Clem said.

"I...I probably will, but I just want you to reinforce it, if..."

"Of course I will Buffy," he said, hugging her again.

Spike walked back into the living room, carrying a few pouches of blood, "What's this then?" he said in mock indignation, "I leave for a couple of minutes and come back to find my girl and my best friend hugging!"

"Don't worry, Spike, just girl-talk," Clem said, trying to be cheerful.

"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Spike asked Buffy.

"Oh, Spike! I meant to tell you: Clem and I are in love, we're going to get married! You're invited! Hope you have a nice tuxedo!" Buffy said, teasing Spike.

"I knew it!" Spike said, stalking toward her.

She giggled as he leaped on her, pinning her against the couch and kissed her on the mouth.

Clem rolled his eyes and giggled.

"Guess this means the wedding's off, Buffy," Clem said, playing along.

"Umhmmmm," Buffy said, trying to get out of Spike's grasp, but not too hard.

Spike stopped, "And let that be a lesson to you!"

"Okay, Headmaster Spike!" Buffy said, then realizing how that sounded, she broke up in hysterics.

Spike just smirked.

A couple of minutes later, clearing his throat, Spike asked Clem, "How's that thing I asked you to check up on?"

Clem looked blank, then smiling broadly said, "Oh, that thing! It's fine, just fine."

Buffy looked at both of them, "Okay, what thing are you two talking riddles about?"

"Never you mind!" Spike said, grinning, "it's a secret; you'll find out soon enough!"

"Clem!" Buffy implored.

"Sorry, Buff, I've been sworn to silence," Clem said, laughing.

"Well, guess we should be going then," Spike said, getting up, after putting the phone and laptop back into his backpack.

Buffy got up, too.

"Clem, it's been a delightful afternoon; brunch was great and so was the company," Buffy said.

"Anytime, girl, anytime," Clem said.

"Bye mate, thanks for everything. As always, you come through," Spike said.

"Just doing my job; looking after you. And Buffy, of course," Clem said.

Buffy looked back and nodded almost imperceptibly toward Clem. He nodded back. Then Spike did the same thing. They were so much alike, Clem thought.

He watched them walk over to the trail behind his cabin and disappear into the woods.

He sighed.

He hoped that everything would turn out okay for them. They deserved it.

He turned to go back into the cabin, "Now, let's have some of those barbecue chicken wings!"

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