CHAPTER 35 - PAPERS, PAPERS, AND MORE PAPERS

CHAPTER 36 - DOCTOR’S ORDERS

June 11, 2008

11:55pm

Gretchen Froesch, head R.N., looked at the transfer order to 10 South for William Worthington, and smiled. She'd seen him go from totally withdrawn when he first got there, to someone who was slowly taking an interest in the world. And, he had a wife!

She'd asked him about her, during rounds that evening. He didn't usually smile, but he did tonight, and shyly showed her a drawing of their wedding. She was quite surprised to see how different he looked in the picture. Very modern, even punk, if the hair was any indicator, rather than the tuxedo.

She was thinking about this, when a second thing she saw brought a look of concern to her face. It was an order from Dr. Polydefkis for 300 mg. of Thorazine to be given to William, along with 1mg. of Ativan and 10mg. of Haldol. Effective at midnight.

She looked at this again. Why would he be giving this when Dr. Turner thought William was well enough to be transferred? She was sure there must be some mistake. Dr. Polydefkis hadn’t even seen William yet.

She looked at her watch, wishing that William’s transfer had been today, rather than tomorrow.

She looked at the roster of doctors, found this new one and dialed his pager. About 10 minutes later he returned her call.

"Dr. Polydefkis, here."

"This is Gretchen Froesh, head nurse here on 10 North. I think there may have been a mistake in your order for a patient’s meds. William Worthington has been a patient of Dr. Turner’s for almost three weeks, and in fact, he’s scheduled to go to the step-down unit tomorrow. He hasn’t been on anything other than a mild tranquilizer and sedative at bedtime, and that was only the first few days."

"And?" the doctor coldly asked her.

"Well, you’ve got him scheduled for 300 mg. of Thorazine, 1mg…"

"I’m very aware of what I wrote in my orders for MY patient," Dr. Polydefkis told her.

"It’s just that you haven’t even seen Mr. Worthington yet, he’s doing quite well, certainly not the kind of person we usually see on this type of dosage. In fact, we don’t even use this amount of meds on anybody up here."

"That’s right. If you turn the page, you’ll see that Mr. Worthington has been transferred by me to 8 West."

"But that’s…you can’t do that, that’s for the long-term chronic patients!" Gretchen said, as she turned the page, disbelieving.

"What did you say your name was again?" Dr. Polydefkis asked her?

"Gretchen Froesch, I’m the head nurse here," she said.

He was silent a minute.

"You have a young daughter who is disabled, am I right, Nurse Froesch?"

She gasped, "That’s right. How did you…? What does that have to do with anything?

"And her care is only possible financially for you because you work here. Am I right? Good benefits, friends with some of the doctors who care for her, deeply discounted medical care?"

She was silent.

"I suggest if you want your daughter to continue having the care that you feel she needs, that you will follow my orders, is that clear? Tomorrow, I will expect to find my new patient on his meds and in 8 West. In fact, I’ll be calling back in one hour to make sure he’s arrived there. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" he asked malevolently.

"Yes," she said, through gritted teeth.

"And if you have any idea of going over my head, believe me, you’ll live to regret that decision. Good-night!" he said, and hung up.

Gretchen’s face was beet-red and her heart was pounding in her chest. She took her purse and walked toward the bathrooms, then quickly took the elevator downstairs. She went out the ER door and bummed a cigarette from one of the paramedics who were standing there. Hands shaking, she inhaled the bittersweet smoke that she’d been trying to forgo for the past three weeks into her lungs. She took a picture out of her wallet and looked at it. Chelsea, in a wheelchair. Five years old, the year, she’d been first stricken with the rare disorder that had no known cure. Damn the doctors, damn all of them!

She smoked the cigarette down to the filter and slowly went back inside and up to the 10^th floor.

William was just about asleep when Gretchen came in, "William? Wake up, please," she said to him, avoiding his questioning eyes, "I’ve got some new meds for you to take."

"Wh? Why?" William asked, sleepily. He’d just been having a dream about Elizabeth. He’d been walking on some trail with her.

"Doctor’s orders," Gretchen said, briskly, "also, going to have to get you moved to the new unit tonight.

"Oh," William said, "Dr. Turner said I was moving to 10 South. Just thought I’d be moving tomorrow sometime."

"Well, sorry. Got to move you right now. Here, take these," she said, handing him a glass of water.
 

"Why is he giving me pills? I haven’t had to take any medicine in a couple of weeks."

"Doctor’s orders. I don’t know why," she said, avoiding his look and handing him the water.

Just then, three orderlies came in with a gurney for transferring William.

"Okay, Mr…?"

"Worthington, his name is William Worthington," Gretchen said, "and that’s not necessary," she said about the restraints that they were readying.

"Sorry, orders," the big burly one said.

"Okay, fellow, get up here," he said pointing to the gurney.

William was beginning to feel funny about this, "Why can’t I just walk over there? Or use a wheelchair?" he asked.

The second orderly laughed, "Yeah, sure, make a break for it, huh?"

"What are you talking about? Make a break for it? Why would I try to run away when I’m going somewhere that’s less restrictive than here?" he asked looking from the man to Gretchen.

Nobody said anything. Finally, Gretchen looked at William, "I’m sorry. Dr. Polydefkis has ordered you to go to 8 West, not 10 South, like Dr. Turner ordered."

"But that’s…" he looked at her in horror. He’d heard what kind of ward that was, for chronic, insane, long-term patients.

"NO! Call Dr. Turner! I’m not going there, there’s been a mistake!" he yelled.

Two of the orderlies were now on either side of him. They grabbed his arms, causing him to yell out in pain, when they jerked his arm with the fractured elbow behind his back.

"Got the shot?"

"Yeah, hold him still!" the third orderly, unceremoniously, jabbed a long needle into his upper arm. William felt himself start to lose the ability to speak.

"I’m so sorry, William," Gretchen said, "I’m sure it won’t be for long," she turned away.

"Wait," he called out to her, "my…my…"

She walked back over to him, "Your what?"

"Clooooothess, picshurrrr, whhhoifeee, wiiiife," he slurred, trying desperately to communicate during these last moments of lucidity.

"I’ll…I’ll see that she gets them, I’m sorry. You can’t take them down there," she said and walked out the door. She ran into the bathroom and slammed the stall door behind her, nearly missing the toilet, as her dinner came up.

"Okay, let’s get this nutcase down to his new home," said orderly one to the others.

"You ready, Willy? Cat got your tongue? Let’s go!"

OKAY, GUYS! I KNOW YOU ARE PROB. GOING TO LOVE AND HATE ME FOR THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS! DON'T FRET, "WE'LL SEE IT THROUGH, IT'S WHAT WE'RE ALWAYS HERE TO DO...."

JUNE 11, 2008

6:30pm

Buffy made her way to the reception desk of the ER and asked to speak to Leroy, telling her who she was. The receptionist called back into the main ER area to relay the request.

"Leroy asks you to have a seat, he'll be out to talk to you in a few minutes."

Buffy nodded, and took a seat among those who were waiting.

A few minutes later, a medium build, medium-dark complexioned man with glasses and short curly hair came through the locked doors, scanning the waiting room.

Buffy looked over at him, as his eye caught hers, questioningly.

She gave a nod and he smiled, motioning her over.

"Leroy?" she asked, as she walked up.

"You must be Elizabeth, William's wife. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she said, shaking his hand.

"Did you get to see William today?"

She nodded, smiling.

"Went well, then? Good for you! He remember you?"

"No, but overall, it still went really well."

"Well, that's the spirit," he said, giving her an unexpected high-five.

"Are you off soon?" she asked, "I mentioned buying you a free dinner."

"That’s not necessary," he told her.

"If it makes you feel any better, I haven't had anything to eat in more than 24 hours, so you could just come along as company, but I really, REALLY do need to eat something!"

"Well, if you put it like that, I'll accept. But I'm not off for another hour. Can you wait? Good," he said, when she nodded, "I'll see you out here then after shift change."

Buffy nodded, then walked back to take her seat. She sat about 10 minutes, then decided to go outside and try to call Willow. She looked at her watch. Damn that international time thing! She could never get the hang of it. She decided it was probably the middle of the night, and as much as she wanted to share the great news, it would wait until tomorrow.

She called Andrew and got the phone’s voice mail. She told him that everything was good.

She then called Dawn. Again, nobody home! This was getting annoying. Oh well, luckily, when she’d really needed them, they always seemed to be there.

She then returned to the ER, just as Leroy was walking out of the doors.

"Hey," Buffy said, "where’s a good place to eat?"

"Come on, I’ll show you."

They walked a few blocks through Hyde Park, one of those neighborhoods in Chicago that had a mix of both students and those that had lived there all their lives. There were lots of little restaurants, bookstores, shops, etc. On their way, they’d passed one of the most famous Frank Lloyd Wright architectural delights, The Robie House, and a couple of smaller museums, as well.

They wound up at Medicis for dinner. It was one of those city buildings that were longer rather than wider. It had high ceilings, giving it a larger appearance and wood walls with things like oars and artwork from local artists on them. For sale, of course.

Buffy ordered a large Caesar’s salad, the chicken dinner, milk, and a slice of German Chocolate Cake alamode for dessert, with a coffee.

They mostly talked about his job and when he’d gotten into nursing. He told Buffy that he’d been a nurse for about 7 years, before that, a bus driver for about 12 years, before he got an unexpected inheritance and went back to school. She told him, she also had gotten an unexpected inheritance, enabling her to change careers about 5 years ago and become a teacher.

He looked at her funny, when she said she’d changed careers. Pretty young to have had a career in which to change from.

She was glad he didn’t ask her much about William, she knew she’d have to lie about almost everything.

"So, where you staying tonight? Got a hotel room in the city?"

"Uh…I…oh damn! I totally forgot about that! I came in on the earliest flight, which still took four hours, then another half hour to get there, saw William’s doctor, saw William," she smiled, remembering, "just didn’t think about where I’d sleep tonight; didn’t think that far ahead at all, just getting here."

"Well, you probably could still get a hotel room, there’s sure to be something."

"No. I don’t know why. I just want to be close by. Is there somewhere I could sleep in the hospital? One of the visitor’s lounges?"

"Yeah, plenty of those about, you probably could find a chair or a couch for the night, just not exactly like having a bed, being able to take a shower and all that," he said.

Shower. She wondered if she smelled, if Leroy could smell her. Damn!

"Not that you smell," he said, reading her mind, or at the very least the look on her face.

"Look, I’d offer you a bed, but I got a cousin in from Detroit right now, plus I’m across the border in Indiana and you said you wanted somewhere close by. But I do have a cousin who’s a student in this neighborhood. She probably wouldn’t mind you staying a night, if she’s home. Got an extra bed sometimes free, if her roommate’s gone to her boyfriend’s. And a shower. If you were to give her a few bucks, she’d probably go for it. Starving student and all that.

I must stink, she thought.

She nodded. It would be nicer than a chair. Especially, if there was water involved.

"Of course, I’d be happy to give her a few bucks!"

Leroy called on his cell phone and after a few minutes, got an okay.

"Come on, I’ll walk you over there."

They walked a couple of blocks back in the general direction of where they’d come until they came to a nice looking brownstone, which had 6 different units. Leroy held the gate open and Buffy walked into the yard. They went up the cement stairs and he buzzed his cousin.

His cousin buzzed in return and Leroy was able to push the door open. They went up two flights of stairs.

His cousin was standing with the door open when they got to the top of the stairs.

"Amelia," he said, giving her a big grin and a hug, "this is Elizabeth."

"Nice to meet you," Amelia said, nodding toward Buffy.

"You, too. And thank you so much for letting me stay the night. I don’t want to inconvenience you, so if you have a spare couch, that’s fine. Or even a floor."

"She always like this?" Amelia asked Leroy.

"Um, yeah, I think so."

"Don’t worry, my roommates on vacation for a couple of weeks, back home with her family in Georgia, so I got the place to myself. You can use her bed, just don’t mess with anything. There’s a bathroom in the hall that you can use. I’ve got one in my bedroom."

"I gotta run," Leroy said, "long drive."

"Yeah, you ought to move up here, cousin."

"Yeah, but then I’d miss the beach and all the steel mills," he answered.

"I’m working 9-5 tomorrow, so I’ll be around," he said to Elizabeth.

"Okay, thanks," Buffy said.

"Night, all!"

"Night, Leroy," Amelia said.

Amelia turned to Buffy, "Leroy said you been going on no sleep for the past two days, so I’m going to skip the small talk with you and let you get settled in. I’m about to turn in early myself. Got to get to work by 7am tomorrow. You get up after that, just help yourself to any of the food, just don’t drink the last of the milk, okay? Anything else is fair game. I just hate having to go back out for milk when I thought I had enough!" Amelia said.

Reminded her of her once college roommate. Hopefully without her being a weird demon. She’d be sure not to drink any milk!

"Where do you work?" Buffy asked.

"Same as Leroy, hospital. Histology Department. At least for the summer, when I’m not in school."

"Well, goodnight, Elizabeth," Amelia said.

"Goodnight, and thanks so much!"

Buffy went off to the bedroom and turned on the switch. It had your basic bed, closet, lamps, trinkets, etc.

She looked in her bag, hopefully.

Nope.

She’d forgotten to bring any nightgowns or pajamas. Oh well, she decided that she’d take a bath, then just sleep in a towel or clothes.

An hour later, a clean, refreshed, but exhausted Buffy lay down. Before going to sleep, she decided to call the hospital first. She just wanted to ask how William was, talk to someone who had seen him tonight; just to feel connected to him.

After getting the number, she connected to the main operator, then to the floor.

"10-North," the voice said, "Froesch, R.N."

"Hi, this is Elizabeth Worthington. My husband, William, is one of the patients there. I was there to see him today and I just…I just wondered how he was doing this evening?"

Gretchen froze. As if her night hadn’t been awful enough.

"Um…he was fine when I saw him," she said.

"Oh, good. I’m so glad that he was okay. Did he…say anything about me?" she asked.

"He showed me your picture," Gretchen said, tears coming to her eyes, "it was very nice. When was it from?"

"From?" Buffy asked.

"Your wedding?"

"Uh…5 years ago," she said, quickly.

"He looked quite different. Sorta punk."

Buffy was taken aback. Oh well, she’d finally come to accept that those in authority or even those in their 40’s and 50’s sometimes had a wild side from their younger days.

"Yeah, he did," she answered, smiling to herself.

"Well, goodnight, then," Buffy said.

Gretchen more than anything just wanted to say goodnight back to William’s wife.

She took a breath, "They moved him."

"What?"

"Tonight, they moved him. Doctor’s orders," she said, gritting her teeth.

"Oh," Buffy said, "I thought they’d do that tomorrow. Oh well, give him a night to settle in then. Dr. Turner told me about that earlier."

She smiled, thinking how much sooner she was going to be able to see William tomorrow, when visiting hours started in the late morning.

"Not Dr. Turner," Gretchen said. Damn, this was getting to truly be torture!

"Oh, Dr. Polydefkis? Dr. Turner said he was taking over. Okay, well, I’ll see William tomorrow. What’s the name of the unit?"

"8 West," Gretchen said.

"Hmmm. Thought it was on the same floor or something. Okay, I’ll call over there tomorrow morning then," Buffy said, "goodnight and thanks!"

I’m going to hell, Gretchen thought. No, wait, I’m already in hell!

"Mrs. Worthington?"

"Yes?"

"Um, you’ll have to pick up some of William’s things here at the desk."

"Oh?"

"Yes, well, he wasn’t allowed to bring them over?"

Please don’t ask/please ask/please don’t ask/please ask.

"Um…okay, I’ll come by tomorrow and get them then. Goodnight."

She took a breath.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Worthington."

Surely, she was going to hell!

Buffy hung up the phone, then remembering, plugged in the charger and put the phone in there.

She lay back down and started mulling over the phone conversation. The nurse had said he was alright and had even showed her the picture of ‘their wedding.’ He got moved to the step-down unit, and…?

Buffy couldn’t help feeling that there was something she was missing, but what?

She went to call again, but decided that she’d better let the phone charge, otherwise, she’d have to use payphones all day tomorrow. She looked around the room and didn’t see another phone to use.

Oh well.

She closed her eyes, deciding to concentrate on the memory of having seen Spike today.

Buffy fell asleep, remembering the first time she’d realized he felt warm to her, and how it felt when he’d ‘caught’ her, how it felt with his arm around her, the feel of his face, how it felt when they had hugged. The smell of him. It was still there, she just remembered, she had smelled him! She was grateful that both William and Spike still smelled the same. Minus the cigarettes and leather.

And so, Buffy drifted off to sleep, on those warm and wonderful memories that they’d just made today, and slapped away the little feelings of unease that was starting to tickle her senses.

June 12, 2008

8:00am

Buffy awoke in the morning and looked around her in alarm, until she got her bearings, a half-second later.

Then she smiled.

Spike.

She was going to see Spike. Again. Saw him yesterday, was going to see him again today. And tomorrow, and the next day and the next day. Everyday from now on, if that was possible.

Her heart felt full for the first time since he'd died. Not pretend full, like I'm busy having a 'normal life' now and too busy to be sad anymore-what-a-crock-full, but honest-to-goodness full.

She hurriedly got dressed in the only other thing she'd brought to wear and went out to the kitchen. There was a note from Amelia.

"There's coffee, just press start. Turn it off when you leave. I have more milk than I thought, so drink all you want. Cereal in cupboard, if you want. Eggos, bagels, bread, and juice in fridge. Also some already cooked scrambled eggs in the pan."

She started the coffee and poured herself some orange juice, only taking half a cup, as she noticed that was low. She made a piece of toast and had some butter and blackberry jelly with hit. She also the rest of the scrambled eggs. She washed the pan, and after pouring herself some coffee, turned the pot off.

Buffy reached into her wallet and took out $50 in cash and put it down on the counter. She knew she would have spent a lot more on a hotel room and not gotten a free breakfast, either.

"Thanks for the bed and breakfast," she wrote, "I hope this money conveys my thanks in an appropriate way. Sincerely, Elizabeth W."

She went to the bathroom and applied some new makeup and combed through her hair, then unplugged the charger, putting it away, and turned on her cell phone.

June 12, 2008

6:45am

8 West Chronic psych unit - The University of Chicago Hospitals

Dr. Polydefkis, dressed in an expensive, tailored suit and cologne, made his way to the nurse's station. He skimmed casually over most of his patient's charts until he came to the one for William Worthington.

It read:

Patient arrived from 10 North around midnight, heavily sedated. Around 1:30am, patient had seizure, antidote given in response to possible drug reaction. It had been charted by the nurse, but had the doctor-on-call's name written by it. Patient came around, but was highly agitated. Given sleep sedative, I.M. 4:00am.

"Who ordered this?" Dr. Polydefkis asked, waving the chart in front of the nurse at the desk, "why wasn't I called?"

"I'm the one who called the doctor-on-call," said nurse Lynn Russo, "we tried to call you several times, but you didn't answer your page or your home number."

"You must have called it wrong!" he said, giving her a dirty look, "I want this patient back on these meds, immediately!"

"I'm sorry, but I looked these up in the PDR, and this high dosage of Thorazine, on top of Ativan and Haldol, given to a patient who wasn't on anything is contraindicated and is likely the cause of his seizures," the nurse said.

"Are you questioning me? Who do you think you are?" he asked her.

"I'm Lynn Russo, the head R.N. on this unit. I'm also a member of the hospital's drug advisory board, which monitors the correct distribution and dosage given to patients, in order to prevent overdoses and accidental deaths," she said, standing up to him, "and possible financial consequences to the hospital."

His face was red and his hands itched to slap her across the room. Shaking, he took off the Haldol and Ativan from the mix, and lowered the dosage of Thorazine to 250mg.

"Here! See that he gets THIS!" he yelled, throwing the chart across the desk towards her.

She picked it up and read it, shaking her head as he walked away.

He went into room 814, and went over toward the bed. He took a sharp object from his suit coat pocket and poked his patient in the neck with it.

The patient cried out in pain as his eyes flew open.

"You're William Worthington?"

William groggily nodded, at the same time that he tried to bring his restrained hand up to his neck to massage the pain.

"I'm Dr. Polydefkis."

William looked at him, with something of relief, "Dr., there's been some mistake," he whispered, trying to make his mouth work correctly.

"That so? What's that?"

"Dr. Turner was going to send me to 10 South today. He said I was better. And...my wife, she's coming to see me again. She wants to take me home. I don't belong here."

"You don't, huh?"

William shook his head. No, I don't I'm not...not like these other patients, I lost my memory, but I'm not insane! I don't need medicine."

"That so? You believe this?"

"Yes, Dr. Turner said I was doing quite well," William said.

"You know what I think, William? What I see?" Dr. Polydefkis said, looking at him with what appeared to be a warm smile, unless one looked into his eyes.

"What?"

"I see a total waste of space. I see a man who is insane. Totally, irrevocably, insane. A man, who should never, ever see the light of day again," he said, still smiling.

"What? What?" William said, panic rising.

"Dr. Turner is obviously from the touchy-feely school of psychiatry. Well, William, I'm not. You're mine now, and the next time I see you, I believe that you won't have too much to say at all. You're going to stay here on this unit for the rest of your life if I have anything to say about it. Or, if not here, then somewhere else that we send insane patients who have no other purpose than to take up space on this planet. One thing for sure," he said, getting very close to William's ear, "is that you will never, ever see or talk to anybody that knows you again."

"Why are you saying this? I'm not crazy like this! I'm not!" William yelled, his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh, but you are, you very much are, and you will be restrained and you will be drugged, so you don't hurt yourself or anybody else," he said, and pulled out a syringe filled with a yellow liquid.

William tried to resist, but it was no use. He tried to yell, but the doctor placed his arm across William's windpipe as he gave him a shot in the arm.

William, gasping and starting to lose consciousness could only stare in horror at the doctor, as his face became a blur.

"Oh, and William," Dr. Polydefkis said, before he passed out, "you'll never see your wife again. Never!"

He watched as William struggled to not give in the effects of the drug, struggle with the enveloping terror of his words, plus the drugs.

Dr. Polydefkis was breathing heavily. This was better than anything, this power, this control. He wished he could find William's wife and torture her right in front of him. Now that would be sweet. Unfortunately, that's not what those paying his fee wanted. Just get William under control so they could take him wherever they were going to take him. They didn't want her, didn't even know about her, he didn't think. Maybe he'd play with her anyway.

He only wished he'd lived back in the time of Dr. Gull, or closer to home, Dr. H.H. Holmes. Oh, how they could’ve have some interesting conversations!

June 12, 2008

9:30am

The University of Chicago

Before leaving the apartment, Lawrence, Jr. had called, telling her he had ‘located’ her and William’s wedding license and wanted to know how she wanted him to get it to her. As she was talking, she got another call, and put Lawrence on hold. It was Dawn, telling her that she’d arranged for Dr. John, as she called her friend to write that he was William’s doctor, under his care, and that he would be treating him as soon as he was back home.

"Hold on Dawn, I’ve got Lawrence on the other line wanting to know how he should get the marriage license to me. I was going to have him Fed Ex it to the nearest office and pick it up. Or something. I suppose you could do the same."

"Or, I could pick up the license and bring them both to you in Chicago!"

"Oh, Dawn. You don’t have to…would you?"

"I’ve already got a flight for around 10:00am. I gotta go get that license now, if I want to make the flight. That will put me at Midway around 4:00pm. I’m sorry, I can’t get there any sooner.

"That’s okay, at least I’ll have it today. Maybe I can still get him out today!" Buffy said.

"Uh, Buffy, from what Dr. John tells me, this may take a while. At least a few days. You may have to go in front of a judge to get charge of the acting medical attorney thing. Dr. John said you’ll have to petition the hospital for that first, then they have to go to court."

"You’re kidding me! I’ve got to go to court? Do I need a lawyer for this? How do I do this?" Buffy said, wishing she’d taken up law instead of teaching at this point.

"Talk to the administration and the patient liaison, Dr. John said, they’ll get the ball rolling for you, at least point you in the right direction," Dawn said.

"Why can’t they just release him. I mean, he’s already been moved to a step-down unit. I don’t understand."

"Well, that sounds good, Buffy. Maybe they will just release him if they think he’s a lot better and all that. I would think so. Well, listen Buffy. If you want me to get that license for your from Lawrence up in LaJolla, I'd better get going right now," Dawn said.

"Oh, shit, he’s still on my other line. Listen, I’m giving him your number, and here’s his," she said, as she gave it to Dawn, "so you can make arrangement. Thanks, Dawn. I’m glad you’re coming!"

"Okay. I…do you think they’ll let me see Spike, too?" Dawn asked.

"I don’t see why not, but I guess I’ll have to ask."

"I’d really like that. Even if he doesn’t know it’s me, I never felt right about…oh, nevermind, I’ll see you this afternoon."

"Oh, Dawn, I’ll call Bernie and have him waiting for you, if he’s working. What time is your arrival?"

"4:00pm, I’ll call you if it’s not on time, otherwise, I’ll see you where?"

"I’ll meet you downstairs in the ER waiting room around 4:30pm. Oh, and bring me a pair of pajamas, would you?"

"Bye Buffy."

"Bye Dawn."

Buffy got back on with Lawrence and told him about Dawn."

"Give me her phone number, I’ll make arrangements."

"Thanks Lawrence, and thank Edna for me, too."

"Yeah, mom was pretty excited! Good luck to you both. Call me if you need anything else," he said.

"I will, bye."

Buffy walked over to the hospital from Amelia’s apartment, happy that Dawn was coming and she would have both papers she needed.

She decided to go up to the 10 North first, to get whatever it was that William couldn’t take with him.

She stood in front of the nurse’s station for a couple of minutes until one of the nurses saw her.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. I’m Elizabeth Worthington’s, William’s wife. I was told there were some things of his that he couldn’t take to his new room, so I’m here to get them."

"Oh, that’s right," the nurse said, "I’ll be right back."

She came back a couple of minutes later carrying large plastic bag, which had the hospital’s name across the front. She gave Buffy the bag, without making eye contact, "Here you go," she said, handing it across the desk.

"Thanks," Buffy said, as she opened it.

The clothes she had brought him yesterday were there, as was the picture of ‘their wedding,’ a couple of books, and some papers.

Her senses that had started tingling last night were really on edge now.

"Why couldn’t William take these things with him?" Buffy asked, "I just brought him these clothes yesterday. And his books?"

The nurse looked uncomfortable. She shrugged, "Maybe you should talk to the head nurse," she said.

"What’s wrong?" Buffy demanded, "What’s going on?"

"Can I help you?" a heavyset, red-haired nurse asked as she walked over.

"My husband, William Worthington, was transferred last night to another unit. Dr. Turner said it was a step-down unit. Last night one of the nurses told me he had some things here that he couldn’t take, so I came here to get them. But what I want to know, is why couldn’t he take the only clothes that he had? His books? The picture I brought?"

"Hold on a minute," she told Buffy and went to look at a chart.

"William has been taken to 8 West. That’s why he’s not allowed to have these things."

"Why? What the hell does that mean?"

"There’s no need to swear, Mrs. Worthington," she said, in a patronizing voice, "8 West is not the step-down unit. 10 South is, 8 West is the chronic unit."

"Chronic? What the h…what does that mean?" Buffy asked, trying to restrain herself, as her stomach was churning.

"It’s where the worst patients go, those with the most chronic, that is long lasting mental illnesses. Those that have been declared insane by their doctors, and in some cases, by the courts, as well."

Buffy gripped the desk, as the room began to spin, "You listen here! Dr. Turner, just yesterday, told me how well William was doing, that he was going to send him over to 10 South. I knew that 8 West didn’t sound right last night, but I couldn’t remember the name of the other one, until you said it. There has been a huge, huge, big, enormous, mistake made. You get on the phone and you call Dr. Turner and you get this straightened out," Buffy said, in the most calm, authoritative voice she could muster, considering she felt like screaming and/or fainting right then.

"Hold on," the supervising nurse told her.

She came back a few minutes later, "Mrs. Worthington. I’m afraid there has been no mistake. Dr. Polydefkis is now his doctor. His orders superceded Dr. Turner’s, effective midnight. He’s already seen William this morning over at 8 West and has ordered him held indefinitely."

"No! This is NOT happening!" Buffy yelled this time.

She reigned herself in, as she saw a couple of orderlies making their way toward her like bouncers at The Bronze. Not that she couldn’t take them, but it wasn’t in her best interest, or William’s to do so right now.

"Where is Dr. Turner? I want to take to Dr. Turner!" she said.

"I’m sorry, today is Dr. Turner’s day off," the nurse said.

"Then give me his phone number, his pager number, I want to talk to him," she said between gritted teeth.

"I’m sorry, we can’t do that, there’s no reason to, seeing as he’s not William’s doctor any longer."

"What time are the visiting hours on 8 West?" Buffy asked, still gritting her teeth and wanting to hurt someone very badly right then.

"I’m sorry. There are no daily visiting hours. There’s only visitors allowed twice a month for half an hour only, and that’s if the patient’s doctor thinks they can handle that much outside stimulation."

Buffy felt her world collapsing around her. She’d only just found him, Spike, and now she was in real danger of losing him altogether. And what of William?

He had begged her to come back to see him today. She’d assured him that wild horses wouldn’t keep her away. Would he think she had let him down? That…?

What would being over there do to him? What were they doing to him?

Buffy stalked off to the elevator and pressed the button for the 8th floor. The door opened and she stood there, afraid to get off. She knew right then if she talked to another nurse and was told   

^{the same thing, she was going to really be damage bound! Had to get a grip first, a plan. She let the door close as she, reluctantly pressed 1st floor.}

"I’ll be back for you, William," she vowed, "I won’t break my promise!"

Buffy went down to the first floor and walked outside, looked up at the floors rising above the ground. She paced back and forth around the perimeter of the hospital, trying to think.

Finally, she made her way to the ER, and asked to speak to Leroy.

Leroy waved as he made his way out the door, "Hey, Elizabeth, how’s William today?" he asked her.

"Oh God, Leroy. Something’s happened. Do you have a couple of minutes?"

"Yeah, when I heard it was you, I told them I was going to take my break now. I got about 10 minutes."

Buffy and him walked outside and she proceeded to tell him about how she’d called last night and had felt a bit funny when the nurse had told her to come and pick up his things, plus now that she thought about it, it was something in her tone. She told him all that she knew.

"Whew. 8 West, that’s pretty severe. That seems totally uncalled for unless he totally freaked out after you were there last night. Oh, sorry," he said, seeing her face fall.

"You think that happened? Wait! I asked the nurse how he was and she said he was alright when she saw him. Wouldn’t she have said something?"

"I dunno. It’s not like they’re used to his having a wife they tell things about him to. On the other hand, she knew from Dr. Turner’s charting probably that you were there and all that. I don’t know. Why don’t you let me take a look at his record when I go back and I’ll take lunch in about an hour and let you know."

"Would you? Oh, thank you!"

"No problem, I like you, William, too, even if he is a bit ‘different’ shall we say?"

She laughed, rolling her eyes. If only he knew.

"One more thing," she said, as they were going back in, "could you find Dr. Turner’s number for me. I’ve got to talk to him!"

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I think I’m going to go have a talk with Dr. Polydefkis!"

"Okay, Elizabeth, just don’t piss off anybody. It probably won’t help you or William. Some of these doctors are real pricks with egos the size of Lake Michigan and they don’t take kindly to having someone come charging up into their offices."

"And what makes you think I would do that," Buffy asked, indignantly.

"I don’t know. Just under that calm, teacher-school-girl type exterior of yours, Miss Elizabeth, I sense somebody who isn’t afraid to fight for what’s right. Just gotta know when to fight, when to lay low, when to b.s. your way in with these ego types," Leroy said, smiling at her.

Buffy nodded her assent, then went off to find Dr. Polydefkis.

Buffy swallowed hard as the door to the 8th floor opened.

She immediately sensed the drastic atmosphere change from the 10th floor to this one. This one had bars on everything. Bars across the doors, bars, and small grates across the small window 10 feet off the ground in a common room. There were only 2 patients there, in wheelchairs, apparently doped to the max, as they sat there, heads bent, off in their own sad, worlds.

If these were the ‘best’ patients on these floors, where were the others, and what kind of condition were they in? These were the thoughts that passed through her mind as she looked to find a nurse’s station.

She finally found a small window, which had heavy glass in front and a small speaker toward the bottom. Ring for nurse, a sign said.

She rang.

A couple of moments later, a nurse came to the window, "Can I help you?"

"I’m William Worthington’s wife," Buffy said, "he was transferred here last night. I want to talk to his doctor!"

The nurse walked away, motioning Buffy to wait. She returned a few minutes later, pushing a business card forward under the small opening under the speaker.

"His doctor requests that anybody wishing to speak to him about his patients, make an appointment with his office."

"How long will that take?"

"I have no idea," the nurse said, "could be a day or two, could be a week or two."

"A week or two?" Buffy yelled, "You listen here, I want to talk to that quack Polydefkis right now about why my husband has been transferred here instead of 10 South, like he was supposed to have been. I want to talk to him now and I want to see my husband!"

"I’m sorry, Mrs. Worthington, we can only relay the message left in the patient’s charts to the patient’s family," she said, looking down for a moment, "William isn’t allowed any visitors at all for the present. There’s no note about when he might be allowed visitors. If you want to see him, you’re going to have to go through Dr. Polydefkis, and that means, calling his office for an appointment."

"Can you at least tell me how he’s doing?"

"I’m sorry. I can’t tell you anything until you’ve gotten clearance from Dr. Polydefkis."

"But I’m his wife!"

"I’m sorry. That’s the way the doctor has it set up."

Buffy felt totally deflated from her earlier high of the morning; to be so close and yet so far from him was killing her.

"Can you at least get a message to him?"

"I’m not supposed to…"

"Please!" Buffy begged.

The nurse looked at her, seeing her for the first time, perhaps, "What is it?"

"Tell sp, tell William that I love him. That Elizabeth loves him and hasn’t forgotten him. Tell him I was here and that I’m going to get him out as soon as I can."

"I don’t think I can tell him that," the nurse said, "we, um, we don’t like to give out false hope."

Buffy stared at her. If she thought that she’d give up now or let the hospital and their screw-up stand in her way, she had another thing coming.

"Fine. Just tell William that his wife Elizabeth loves him and hasn’t forgotten her promise to him," she looked at the nurse, "that alright?"

"That’s fine. Good day now."

Buffy walked back toward the elevator, past the drab interior of the common room. She glanced to her right, just as the nurse she’d been speaking with started to enter a hall, locked by a heavy door. She saw her press numbers on a keypad, then open the door and enter. She only had a glance at the hall, but it looked gray and cheerless, with doors on either side. Was Spike locked up there? No. Not Spike. William. Spike at least could have fought back, would have tried to fight back, but William…

Fighting the nausea and anger rising in her, Buffy made it to the elevator and pressed the 1st floor button.

Buffy made her way back to the ER area to wait for Leroy. She knew she should call Dawn and let her know what was going on, call Willow, even Andrew, but she couldn’t bring herself to make those calls right now. Making them would mean what was happening was real.

She sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair, not paying attention to the people who were waiting their turn to be seen, not paying attention to the talk show host talking about the latest movie her guest was staring in.

Absently, she fingered the bag she had gotten from the nurse. The bag of William’s possessions. Slowly, she opened it and took out a couple of the books, there was a book of Shakespeare, which brought tears to her eyes, and a book of poetry. Inside the front cover of both of those, were stickers saying they belonged to Dr.Turner.

The last book didn’t have a title; it appeared to be a journal of some sort.

She opened it and read the first date, 9 June 2008, it had only been started three days ago.

She started reading the entries that William had shared with Dr. Turner. It hurt her to see how he questioned if he was some sort of monster who was hiding the truth from himself, to his all too apparent loneliness and yearning that he had no place in the world.

Then turning the page, there was one last one, written last evening around 8:00pm.

It read:

Today has been quite a shock. Dr. Turner said that the hospital higher-ups had given over my care to another doctor. I don’t want this, but Dr.Turner said we had no choice, since I was involuntarily committed here. The other doctor, whose name I’ve forgotten, like so much else, is supposed to be the best in his field. We’ll see. I have grown to trust and respect Dr. Turner, and I don’t see how this other doctor can be a good thing, but I’ll give it a chance. Maybe he will succeed at helping me regain my memory(ies).

But that was hardly the biggest news Dr. Turner had for me today! The biggest shock came when he told me that I was to have a visitor. An Elizabeth Worthington, my wife, he’d said she called herself.

Needless to say, my shock was profound. I was so very frightened of meeting her! I didn’t know what I would say to her. What do you say to someone who claims that they’ve had an intimate relationship with you, and you don’t even recall their name?

Dr. Turner came in, right before she did, to tell me of her arrival, and to tell me how frightened she was also.

He told the truth!

When she walked in, the poor thing looked as though she’d just seen a ghost. I guess that ghost would be me. She stood there so pale and trembling, and very nearly hit the floor in a dead faint. If I hadn’t caught her, I dare say, she would have.

My heart went out to her, she was as frightened as I was!

Elizabeth.

She sat on my bed and looked into my eyes as though to find me. Then, asking me if it was alright, she gently touched my face and I first experienced the warmth of her hand, and felt…her sincerity. I don’t know how to explain it, only that in all the memories that I do still have at least think I do, nobody has ever touched me like that before. Nobody had ever looked at me like that before.

Like they saw me.

Me.

William.

But Elizabeth did.

Even though she knew that I didn’t remember her, I knew that she remembered me, and what’s more, that she saw me.

But miracle of miracles, before the visit was over, she had even hugged me! Been in my arms! This beautiful woman was in my arms, willingly…and it felt like

It was the most natural thing, that her body was made to fit with mine, but the thing that was even more miraculous, as if that wasn’t enough, was that I could feel how much she wanted to be there. In my arms; as if she’d been waiting for something her whole life, just like I’ve often felt.

And she kissed me! Oh, what a gentle, giving, loving kiss she gave me. It was the kind of kiss I’d always dreamed of sharing with someone. The only bad thing was that it was over much too soon!

I have been so frightened, so lonely these past few weeks, and from what I think I remember, all the other times, too. Maybe all my life; at least, that’s what it feels like.

I…I can’t believe my good fortune, that Elizabeth has come into my life. I know that I should say, ‘come back into my life,’ but I can’t remember any of that, so I have to say it in the present.

All I know, is that I want so much to get to know her! She has made me believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think she is my light.

I pray that she will come to see me again. I don’t think I could stand it if she didn’t, if somehow I’d disappointed her, that after seeing me, she didn’t…didn’t want me.

But she promised she would and I’ll keep the faith in her words. I just have to.

11 June 2008

Buffy’s eyes were filled with tears as she finished reading the last passages.

She could only imagine what he would feel like when he found out that she wouldn’t be coming to see him today.

"I did promise William, and I will keep my promise, no matter what I have to do, I will!"