CHAPTER 48 - LIKE ANY NORMAL COUPLE

Every so often throughout the day, Buffy would awaken to find herself nestled in William's arms or him in hers. She'd let out a grateful sigh that she wasn't dreaming and let the still heat of the room, her exhaustion, and relief lull her to sleep again.

William also awoke throughout the day, heart pounding in fear, until seconds later, he would also realize that he was no longer alone and strapped down in that God-awful hospital room. Instead, he was laying with his arms wrapped around Elizabeth; a woman he hardly knew, but who somehow, had miraculously known him and come to save him.

Staring at the top of her head, or her face, feeling her petite body molded to his, he would push away all questions for now, just to savor the unbelieving turn of events. He knew he was lucky, fortunate, and even without Bernie having said it, he was more grateful to Elizabeth, than he'd been to any other person in his life. He knew she; this tiny force of nature, was somehow instrumental in getting so many people together last night, with the express purpose of getting him out of the hospital, away from...no, he wouldn't think of it.

And yet she had been shy this morning, afraid he wouldn't want her to share his bed. As if! She'd saved him, said they'd been...lovers...whatever that meant...he wasn't sure. And the way she kissed him! He'd never even known what it would be like to kiss a woman, wasn't sure he'd know how to do it properly, but with her...it seemed so natural, as if he'd done it many times before. Maybe he hadn't forgotten how to kiss, even though, seemingly, he'd lost all his other memories. Well, at least that was something, he thought, smiling. He was also aware, that as he lay there, wrapped up in her arms, that other parts of him seemed to have their own memories, too. Not that he would ever propose that, expect that...but still, she made him feel so...human. So real.

He kissed her softly, and still asleep, her lips responded to his, as he went back to sleep, safe for now, in this place, this bedroom; safe in her arms.

Willow and Dawn each got up early in the afternoon. Dawn having been awoken by the sounds of children playing on the beach. She showered, then woke Willow. They made a list of things they would need in town and got ready to leave. Dawn slowly opened the door to where her sister and William were still asleep. She smiled, motioning for Willow to come have a look. Willow smiled, too seeing them wrapped in each other's arms, fast asleep.

Dawn quietly closed the door.

"Like two bugs, snug in a rug," Willow said.

"Yeah," Dawn said, giggling like a teenager that she no longer was. She was so glad that Buffy had found Spike; that she might, for once, get the happiness she deserved after all that she had sacrificed. For all of them.

"I'll leave her a note," Dawn said.

"Meet you outside," Willow said.

Buffy woke up around 6:00pm, sweaty from heat and sleep. She heard Willow and Dawn in the kitchen.

William finally seemed to be coming around, too.

"Hey," she said softly, still curled up in his arms, "think maybe we should get up now? Maybe have something to eat?"

"Okay," he said, staring at her.

"Come on," she said, and kissed him once more, a couple of seconds longer than she intended, as her fingers ran along the stubble of his cheek. Stubble? That was different! Spike had never had to worry about shaving.

"Let’s get up and go see what Dawn and Willow bought."

She started to get up, but he pulled her back, and smiling shyly, kissed her again, "Not making the getting up part easy," he said, in his proper British accent that she was finally getting used to, that is; without thinking of Giles every time she heard it. A little smile played at the corner of his eyes.

She smiled back, relieved! It was the first time 'William' had said anything even slightly humorous. Of course, given his circumstances, that was to be expected. She'd almost expected him to add a 'luv' at the end, but that would have been Spike, not William.

"Feeling better?"

Oh, if she only knew how he was feeling! Actually, part of it was a bit painful.

"Yes, I think so."

"We should probably..."

"Alright."

A few minutes later, they came out of the bedroom. Her in her sweat soaked pajamas, and William, wearing the same clothes he had.

"Hi, guys!" Dawn chirped at them.

"Hey. What smells so good?"

"I made some stew, I know it's hot out, but I figured we could all go for a good meal right about now. Also, there's a salad and some iced tea. Willow bought a picnic table cover and some plastic and paper goods so we can eat out on the deck, if that's alright."

"Sure, sounds good. How long?"

"Till food? About another 45 minutes."

"Time for a shower?"

"I’d say so," Dawn answered.

"Oh, William, you probably want to take a shower, too, don’t you?"

He looked embarrassed, not used to discussing his bathing habits in front of a woman. In the hospital, the nurses would take him down the hall to a shower at a specific time and come back for him at a specific time, but he had no control of that.

"Um, Buffy, there’s men’s and a woman’s showers for the campground that you could use. It’s only down the road about, I don’t know feet; probably 6 trailers between here and there, so close by. You have to turn the timer on the outside of the door. That turns the lights on for up to 15 or 20 minutes. There’s privacy doors on each shower.

"Oh, William, I almost forgot,' she said, motioning to him to follow her, "I hope you don’t mind, Elizabeth knew you didn’t have anything else besides the clothes you’re wearing, so we bought you some stuff."

He looked at two large Walmart bags on the dining table.

Dawn nodded to him, "The one on the left is yours, the one on the right is for Elizabeth."

He pulled out one pair of blue jeans, one pair of khaki pants, and one pair of nicer black pants. There was also a Detroit Tiger’s T-shirt, and 4 other T-shirts of various colors: light blue, tan, black, and gray. Then there were gray and navy blue, lightweight sweat pants. Dawn figured that would suit him to sleep in, better than the goofy, checkered pajama bottoms she saw.

Next, he pulled out a couple of packages of underwear, which, once he recognized what they were, shoved them back into the bag. The rest of the bag contained shampoo, conditioner, a comb and brush, socks, shorts, swim trunks, No Ad Sunblock #45, a pair of water shoes and sandals, deodorant, a set of towels for the shower and beach, a shaver, and other personal items. Lastly, an overnight bag, in which to store them, and a daypack.

He looked at Dawn, shaking his head, "I…this is so much here, it must have cost you so much. I can’t, I don’t think I have any money to pay you," he said, looking terribly embarrassed.

"William," Buffy said, "you have money. Don’t worry, when I thought you were…gone…I…don’t worry, okay? I have; that is, you have money to pay Dawn back. I’ll pay her back. When we get home, I’ll explain it all to you," she stammered.

He looked at her questioningly.

"Really," she nodded, "trust me, okay."

"Don’t worry, William, I trust you and Buffy to pay me back," Dawn said, smiling and patting his arm.

"Then I thank you very much for having purchased all these things for me, as I appear to be quite…without, at present," he said, humbly to Dawn.

Dawn couldn’t believe this man had once become the swaggering, smirking Spike that she had known. William was…so different in mannerisms, speech, everything. Yet, still…there was something about William that reminded Dawn of how Spike had been, when he’d finally come to live in their basement, after Buffy had rescued him from The First.

"You’re most welcome, William. I’m just so glad you’re back with us," she told him and gave him a quick hug before walking into the kitchen.

"Um, so how do you want to do this? You can shower here or down at the campground one."

"Maybe I’ll stay here," William answered, though he didn’t fancy being near to the kitchen, where people might be going about their business, still going to a public shower, made him much more ill at ease.

"Okay then. I’ll be back in 20 minutes. Do you know need any help with any of these?" she said, motioning to all the items on the table.

He sort of scowled at her, "I may have lost my memory, but think I can still read directions," he said, with as much dignity that he could muster. He picked up a shampoo bottle. "Lather, rinse, repeat," he read.

"Well, you really don’t have to repeat," she said.

"Then why would they say that?" he asked, innocently.

"I don’t know, it’s just to get you to use more…" she started, then saw him roll his eyes.

"Don’t have to get shirty about it," she said, but with a smile.

"Not shirty, and besides, you’re using the word wrong, making a mess of the English language," he replied.

"That so? Well, now I think you are being shirty," she answered, smiling, with a feeling of déjà vu.

"Okay, I’m off to shower," she said, breaking out of the deja vu moment and grabbing a handful of things out of the other Walmart bag.

"Dawn, I’m going. William is going to shower here," she said, walking through the kitchen to the front door.

"Okay, Buffy. Wait, let me show you where it is," she walked outside with Buffy and pointed the way.

Buffy looked worried, back toward the cabin.

"Don’t worry, I’ll keep watch over him. Go ahead, he’ll be fine."

"Yeah, I suppose you’re right. He does seem to be doing a lot better, doesn't he?"

Dawn nodded and walked back into the cabin. She heard him rustling around the bathroom.

"Everything okay, William?"

"Fine. Just getting ready…"

"Okay, just call if you need anything."

"Thanks."

Dawn stirred the stew, then went into the living room and sat down on the couch, after hearing him turn on the shower.

About 15 minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, showered, shaved, and wearing a light blue T-shirt and the khaki pants she’d bought.

"Felt good, huh?" Dawn asked.

"What?"

"The shower."

"Oh. Yes, quite nice," he answered, although uncomfortable discussing such things.

Dawn started to make another comment, but noticing this, let it drop.

Buffy came back a few minutes later from her shower, having changed into a new pair of light colored jeans and a small, sleeveless, peasant top. Her hair was loose.

"Where is he?" she asked Dawn, concerned.

"He just went to put some things away," Dawn motioned to the bedroom.

She let out a sigh of relief, going to the door, just as William opened it. They looked at each other’s new clothes.

"You clean up nice," she said, smiling at him.

He looked at her questioningly, then nodded, realizing what she meant. As for him, he’d never seen her hair down before. He stared at her and at the tiny top, which showed her belly, before realizing he was doing so.

"Um, you look nice, Elizabeth," he said, looking down, shyly.

"Hi," Willow said, coming in from the deck. She had a bathing suit top on and a towel around her waist.

"How was the water?" Dawn asked.

"It was wonderful, nice and warm. It’s weird getting used to swimming in fresh water, though. I’m used to swimming in an ocean. This is like swimming in a pool, almost. Well, at least the no salt part. Is dinner ready?"

"Yeah, it’s done. Want to help me get the bowls and stuff?" Dawn asked.

"Sure," Buffy said, still looking at William.

William was looking at Willow, shocked at seeing a woman in so little clothing.

"You’re staring," Buffy whispered to him.

"What? Oh, sorry," he said, turning to look at Buffy, then walked back in to the bedroom and sat down on the bed.

"What’s the matter?" Buffy asked, sitting on the bed next to him.

"Nothing. It’s just…Willow…she was hardly wearing any…clothes!"

"Oh," she said, understanding his discomfiture now, "William, it’s quite normal, I mean now-a-days, we’re at a beach resort, so women and men, they wear bathing suits and walk around in them quite a bit."

"I see," he said, trying to reconcile the old memory he had of old fashioned swimwear, that almost totally covered up men and women, to what he saw Willow wearing.

"It’s okay, you’ll get used to it. Pretty soon, you won’t even think twice about it," she said, getting up to help Dawn.

He doubted that!

"Do you want to come out in the living room or just have us call you when dinner’s done."

He nodded.

"Okay, I’ll call you then," she said, and closed the door, leaving him sitting there.

Buffy sighed. He’d seemed to be feeling so much better when she’d gone to take a shower, now he’d retreated again.

She met Willow on her way out of the kitchen. She motioned her back in, "Willow, maybe you ought to put something over your bathing suit top, um, I think you just freaked William out."

"Huh? OH!" Willow said, her face blushing.

"Sorry. He’s just not used to seeing women dressed, well, not dressed, I guess," she said sheepishly.

"I’m sorry, I totally spaced before walking in, I should’ve remembered…"

"No, he’ll…he’s going to have to get used to it, after all, we’re at the beach. I just don’t want him having a heart attack over dinner," she said, giggling.

"No, I think we’ll let you give him that, Buffy!" Willow said, grinning devilishly.

Buffy blushed, "There were clothes last night! Lots of clothes, two fully dressed people, in fact," she stammered.

"Yeah, how long is that going to last Buffy?" Dawn asked, as she took some bowls down from the cabinets.

"Indefinitely, I think. Stop, would you, two? Besides, even if we…I mean, we’re not, but even if, he still would probably be freaked seeing all the scantily clad girls about. But he’ll deal. Eventually," she said, hoping she was right.

They finished setting up the picnic table on the deck, putting the pot of stew out there, along with the huge salad bowl, and a pitcher of iced tea.

Buffy went to get William. He was sitting there, as she’d left him.

"Hungry?"

He nodded.

"Good, come on," she said, holding out her hand.

He allowed her to take pull him to her feet, then followed her outside to the table.

Willow was now dressed in a top and jeans.

"Evening," William said.

"Evening," Willow and Dawn returned.

Buffy, Willow, and Dawn made small talk around the table about mostly neutral subjects having to do with school, work, clothes, and food.

"Think we’ll try to barbecue tomorrow," Willow said, "wish Xander was here, he always did that stuff.

"Yeah, he did, didn’t he?" Dawn asked, and brought up the many times he’d cooked out for them in Sunnydale.

William had been quiet, listening to them speaking as he ate his stew. He hadn’t been much for the salad, although he did eat the tomatoes and cucumbers out of it.

"Is that where you’re from? Sunnydale?" he asked Willow and Dawn.

"Uh, not anymore. I live near L.A. and Willow lives in England now."

"Really? You live in England?" William said, perking up, "Where?"

"In Bath."

"I’ve been there many times. It’s quite nice. Lovely really."

Buffy listened as they discussed the university, some of the historic landmarks in the town itself, as well as some of the surrounding villages and Stonehenge, not too far away.

"Amazing, how these huge, ancient rocks came to be placed there, and to be aligned along the rising of the sun at the midsummer solstice," William said.

"Yes, but I think there’s some controversy whether this was because the builders came from a sun-worshipping culture, or because the circle and its banks were part of a huge astronomical calendar," Willow added.

"There always will be."

Him and Willow shared a laugh, as Buffy and Dawn looked on. It felt good to hear him laugh and to participate in conversation.

But she also knew that during the conversation, he would start to say something like, "Back when I was there…" then catch himself, just as Willow would stop herself from asking, "Really?" In other words, try to not confirm or deny what his memory was, at least, not what year it was.

Willow had caught herself more than once, and quickly looked to Buffy with a quick guilty or sorry expression. Sometimes it was Buffy trying to give Willow a warning look. William noticed and didn’t quite know what to make of it.

On the one hand, Willow would be talking to him about the changes in Bath, and the other places, as if he knew what he was talking about. Then, all of a sudden, she’d either change the subject, or try to turn it around by saying something like, "You must really have done a lot of research into that period of time," or some other such words.

And at times, he would try himself, not to say words like, "Back when I lived in England…" instead, he would try to cloak them in more neutral terms like, "I believe," or "A long time ago," so as to not feel that he was upsetting Elizabeth. To not remind her that his only memories seemed to be more than a hundred years out of sync. But he knew…that the most honest conversation that he’d had with Willow, was when neither of them was censored in their dialogue, by something he couldn’t quite understand. It was exhausting.

"William, I forgot, I got a couple of books for you!" Willow said.

"You did?"

"Yeah, let me go get them," Willow said, going back into the cabin.

"We went to Barnes & Nobel in Niles," Dawn said to Buffy.

"Oh."

"Here," Willow said, coming back outside and placing a bag in front of him.

He opened it and took out two books. One was 1000 Inventions & Discoveries by Roger Francis Bridgman. He turned the back over and read the jacket back to himself Next he looked at the other book. Technology's Past: America's Industrial Revolution and the People Who Delivered the Goods by Dennis Karwatka, and read it also.

"Thought you might like to catch up, er, jog your memories," Willow said.

"Thank you, Willow," he said, as he opened the first book and looked in the index.

"Thanks, Willow," Buffy said, as well, grateful that at least he'd have some place to start. Some place, where she wouldn't have to explain everything.

"Um, Spike, I mean, William, when you're up to it, I can show you how to find all kinds of stuff on the computer, too. You can read almost everything about everything on the Internet. Do research, find out all sorts of stuff."

He just shook his head. So much, so much stuff. How could he have forgotten every single thing he must have ever known?

Buffy looked over at him worried. He seemed to be getting to the saturation point.

"I have something for William, too," Dawn said.

"Nothing like inventions," she said, seeing the look on Buffy's face. "Be right back."

She came back a few moments later and gave him another bag; "Go ahead," she encouraged, seeing him looking a bit overwhelmed.

He took out the books, the first was, "An Anthology of Twentieth -Century British & Irish Poetry." The second was, "The Comedies of William Shakespeare."

He smiled at those, "Thank you, Dawn," he said, gratefully.

"You're welcome, I hope you like them."

"I'm sure I will. Yours, too, Willow," he quickly added.

Buffy breathed a silent sigh of relief. At least he would have something pleasurable to read, something that wouldn't further freak him out.

"Come on, Dawn, let's get the table cleared," Willow said.

"Sure. Hope dinner was good."

"Very," he said.

Buffy and William were alone; she got up and stood at the railing, looking out at the calm lake, listening to the soft chatter of the few people on the dock fishing.

William sat there for a few minutes looking at the anthology, then sighing, got up to join her. He wanted to ask her so many things, but was afraid of the answers that she would give. Or the ones she wouldn’t.

She felt him near her. Not in the way that she used to be able to sense Spike, but in a way that she’d begun to sense him after they’d first gone to Julian together. In a more-than-Spike, but not quite human, sort of way. This was how she sensed him now, and it confused her. He was clearly William, clearly human, and yet still…there was something else of him there.

She feared he would ask her questions that she barely had answers to, and others that she dared not tell. At least, not yet. Please, don’t let him insist on those now, she prayed to a God she didn’t even really believe in. Just let him…be here, with us, adjusting. Was that a word that could describe what someone, such as William would feel after what he’d just been through?

"We’re going to the little store for an ice cream cone before it closes, want to come?" Dawn asked, popping her head outside.

Buffy looked at Spike, questioningly.

He looked at her, her eyes expectant eyes, yet such a simple thing, seemed so hard.

"Come on, William, it will be fun," Dawn said.

He hesitated.

"Dawn, why don’t you and Willow get us one? What flavors do they have?"

"I don’t know, I’ll run there and come back and tell you."

"Okay."

A few minutes later, Dawn appeared in front of the deck, taking the little trail behind the smaller set of public bathrooms, and around the wooden swing to rattle off a list.

"I’ll take the strawberry no-fat," Buffy said.

Dawn snorted, "Figures. William?"

He chose Rocky Road, after hearing what it was

They were back about 10 minutes later with the cones.

"Thanks, guys," Buffy told them.

"How is it?" she asked William, who was busy licking.

"Umm. Good."

"Would you like to swing, while we finish these?"

His heart started pounding for some reason, though he had no idea why, just the idea of leaving the confines of the deck, even though the swing was only 25 feet away. He looked at Elizabeth. She must think him the biggest Nancy-boy of all time.

He gave a nod, which made her smile. She took his hand and led him off the deck. They walked over toward the chair. Their neighbors in cabin 1, sitting outside in front of their fire, called out a greeting to them. Buffy answered for them, but they both waved.

They sat down on the swing, enjoying the rest of their cones, while a person in cabin one, had brought a fiddle outside and started to play an Irish folk song.

William smiled, hearing it, "I know that song," he said.

"Name-y?"

He smiled at her funny speech, "I don’t remember, but I’ve heard it played before."

Sitting to his right, she took his hand, as his left was busy with the cone. She’d almost forgotten he was left-handed. Didn’t they say that left-handed people were artistic? Thought with different sides of their brains about things that right-handed people thought with she wondered, thinking of the poetry and paintings he’d done. Sensitive, too. Probably why she’d fallen for the only sensitive vampire in the world. Well, one of the only ones, she thought letting her thoughts go dark to Angel, for a minute.

William let go of her hand, and taking a chance, moved closer and put his arm around her shoulders, instead.

She took a breath, and leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder.

They sat there like that for the next hour, just swinging, not talking. Anybody looking at them would think they were like any normal couple, having a normal evening, in the midst of a normal life.

They both had new pajamas to sleep in. Buffy in a cute, short, sleeveless nightgown, William wore his blue sweat pants and the Detroit Tigers T-shirt. Willow had bought them all window fans, which she’d put in their window while they were still on the swing.

That night there was no question about if she would share his bed. He’d gotten ready for bed, while she washed up. She said goodnight to Dawn and Willow and went into the bedroom.

He looked at her as she came in. She almost took his breath away, as he looked at her in the little nightgown.

Buffy was aware of his eyes following her, as she put a couple of things away. She didn’t know why she all of a sudden felt shy, but she did.

She turned off the lamp. William was lying on his back, as she lay down, he put his arm out a little, inviting her into them. She turned on her side, putting her arm around his chest, as he drew her near. His hand came up around her back, sending the most delicate shivers down her spine. His other hand played in her hair. She raised her hand from his chest to trace that face that she’d never forgotten the feeling of.

Turning over on his side to face her, he studied her face in the moonlight coming through the blinds. Was she real? Never in his most ardent wishes, when he’d been the most alone, nor even in his innermost heart, had he even dared to wish for a woman such as her to love.

Are you real? His questioning eyes asked.

She looked at him, as her fingertips lightly traced his cheek, his ear, his mouth. He may be William, but they way he was looking at her…it was enough to make her almost want to run from the purity of his gaze. She remembered Spike always looking at her with such adoration that she’d wanted to hide, to run, for surely, she hadn’t deserved such a thing. She wasn’t sure that she did now, either.

Are you? Her questioning eyes asked in turn.

"Elizabeth, may…I?"

"May you what, William?"

"May I reacquaint myself with your…lips?"

She smiled at his very proper Victorian-type of question.

"May you kiss me?"

He nodded.

"Yes."

He leaned in, kissing her softly. She responded back, as he slowly, languidly kissed her in the sweetest of ways, even when the pressure of their kisses increased.

"Don’t have to…" she said between kisses.

"Don’t have to what?"

"You don’t have to ask, William."

He kissed her harder then, as they held each other tightly. She put her hands underneath the back of his T-shirt so she could feel his skin and heard him gasp in pleasure as she massaged his back from his shoulders to the small of his back. She wished she’d worn pajamas, instead of a nightgown, so he could do the same, yet at the same time, she was happily floating in a state of arousal that she’d never experienced quite like it before.

Suddenly, he pulled her over on top of him, so that there was now full body contact between them, her lovebird necklace coming to rest on his chest. She looked down at him, eyes glazed over, as his wore a look of shock, at what he’d just done.

He lay still, letting her make the next move. It was painfully obvious that he was both embarrassed and aroused.

Closing her eyes, she kissed his mouth, his neck, his ear, as she firmly pushed her body down on his. He responded by raising his up, as he kissed her back, kissed her neck in a spot that made her moan. Their bodies rocked against each other’s in a motion as ancient as time.

His lips found hers again, as they rubbed against each other. He stopped moving, when she didn’t think she could, and kissed her softly again, letting them both catch their breath. She lay with her head on his chest, concentrating on calming down, as his hands rubbed her back.

Just as they were calm again, she lifted her head off his chest and found his mouth again. Moments later, once again, they rocked against each other, his hands this time, on the sides of her hips, moving her to his rhythm, as they both moaned.

Buffy touched his lips with her tongue, and found his nearby. Passions deepened as William discovered a new way to kiss.

Again, they stopped the dance; she rolled off of him this time, collapsing onto her side. She’d never experienced being so consumed with kissing and fire, yet at the same time, somehow, knowing that they wouldn’t be making love just yet. There was some a kind of unbridled joy in it, strange as it may seem, for a woman, whose only experiences with this sort of passion, had always led to consummation, whether love or just lust was involved.

This was some sort of delicious dance that they were doing. A discovering, a rediscovering.

William lay there, painfully aroused still, trying to get his breathing under control. If she hadn’t moved that moment, he’s sure he would have made a mess right on himself. Or worse, on her. He wanted to touch every square inch of her, wanted to taste and to love every inch of her. He cast a sidelong glance at her, snuggled up to his side, her arm over him. She sent his mind spinning. The feeling of her body on his…moving with his…

"You okay?" she asked, laughing softly, "no, don’t answer that!"

"You’re beautiful," he said, turning to look at her.

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Make me feel…so much?"

"Do I?"

"You do," she said, happily.

"You do, too," he said, hugging her to him, as they both drifted off to a happy slumber.

Buffy awoke to being kissed by William. In her half-asleep state, she'd almost thought herself back in Julian, thought it was Spike kissing her and responded in kind, for a moment, abandoning the reserve she held herself in, while with William. She pulled his shirt off and was about to divest herself of her nightgown when she opened her eyes and saw the almost shocked face of William staring at her in awe. Deftly, she pulled the bottom of her nightgown back into place.

"I didn't this time," he said, smoothing her hair.

"Didn't what?"

"Didn't ask. To kiss you."

"I'm glad," Buffy said, as they kissed again, him pulling her over on top him.

As if hours of sleep had not been in between their last 'session' once again, they moved with each other, kissing tenderly, then not so much. Kissing, panting, moaning, stopping, and starting - over and over again, until a couple of hours had passed into mid-morning.

"Have to..." Buffy said, finally, between kisses, "get up."

"Why?" William asked, "want to stay this way with you forever."

"Don't think it would last like this forever," she said, kissing him, grinding down on him.

"Oh, God, Elizabeth," he gasped.

Finally, they broke apart and seeing an opportunity, she made a dash for the bathroom, sanity, and some coffee. William tried to grab her, then stuck out his lower lip in a rather, in a rather cute boy-like pout, "Come back."

"No, got to get up. You, too," she said, blowing him a kiss at the door.

God, what she did to him! He thought of her, of his body under hers, he let out a soft groan, as his hand slipped under the waistband of his sweatpants...

"Morning," Buffy said, as she hurried past Dawn and Willow on her way to the bathroom.

"Morning," they returned, looking at each other with knowing looks. Dawn had been woken from her sleep to hear her sister moaning. At first she thought something was the matter, but on further inspection. Well, ear to their door, she got the picture. She didn't know what was with her hearing; if it had something to do with having been 'The Key,' formerly, but she always seemed to have the most acute hearing. Not that Buffy was aware she was being heard.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Willow said, heading over to the little store to buy some more eggs.

Buffy came out of the bathroom, and poured herself some sugar into her coffee cup and began to put it to her mouth, when she realized she hadn't yet poured the coffee. Quickly, she dumped out the sugar and decided to go for the coffee by itself, black.

"How are you Buffy?" Dawn asked, smiling innocently, "sleep well?"

"Um hmm," she said, absentmindedly, trying to not think of his kisses, the way they were affecting her or of how utterly satisfying and delicious they were. That is, if she ignored that they kept her thinking about them, about him, in a constant state of desire.

"Um hmm," she repeated, as if she hadn't already answered the question.

"Okay, Buffy, spill!"

"Huh?" Buffy asked, looking at Dawn for the first time.

"You two, what's going on?"

"Us two? Nothing. Nothing's going on," she quickly answered.

"Then what's all that moaning I heard coming from your bedroom this morning, huh?"

"Oh, God! You heard?"

"Oh, yes," Dawn answered smugly.

"It's not what you think, not what it sounds like," she added, lamely.

Dawn just looked at her, eyebrows raised.

Buffy lowered her voice; "It's still clothes on. Really. Just...a lot of kissing."

"Seriously? Kissing only? All that moaning coming from kissing?"

"Well, a little bit of friction, too," Buffy said, blushing.

"But still, must be SOME kissing!"

"Yeah. It is. Some kind of SOME kissing," she said, getting that glassy-eyed, far-away look again, as she remembered.

Just then William came out of the bedroom, dressed in blue jeans and the gray T-shirt.

"Morning, William," Dawn said, then mouthed to Buffy, 'sleep well?' to which Buffy gave her a warning look.

"Morning," he said, unaware of the interchange between Dawn and Elizabeth.

"Hey, William," Willow came in from the outside, "sleep well?"

Buffy and Dawn started giggling.

"Yes. Fine. Thank you," he said, perplexed at hearing the giggling.

On the other side of the bathroom door, he stiffened, all of a sudden thinking back to a party, well, really many soirees, where women, upon him either entering or leaving, would laugh. Laugh when they either thought they couldn't be heard, or didn't care if they were. At. him. About him. But this was Elizabeth; she couldn't be laughing at him. She just couldn't. Still, the part of him, the lifelong, insecure part, was hurt by the possibility. So, when he came out, he avoided her eyes. He just didn't dare chance to see some sort of scorn in them.

Dawn was making eggs and William, oddly enough, was staying in the kitchen with her. Buffy looked out at the deck, only to be motioned outside by Willow.

"Hey, Will, how's it going?"

"Listen, Buffy, before William comes out, I've got to show you something."

"What is it?" Buffy said, a feeling of dread, suddenly overtaking her.

"I bought the South Bend newspaper, just to have something to read, and I saw this," she said, handing Buffy the paper.

Buffy had turned pale, as she handed the paper back to Willow.

"You were right, Buffy, they were trying to get William out of there the other night."

"You mean Angel," she said, bitterly. "And I guess your spell worked, too."

She stared at Willow.

"Guess that's something," she said, "I didn't know people would die."

"How could you?" Buffy said, comforting her friend, who was obviously conflicted. "The pilot probably worked for Wolfram & Hart, too."

"Probably."

Buffy looked up again, "He's going to know that they didn't get the right person. That it wasn't William in that plane."

"I know. I've been thinking about that. I...I think there's something I can do, I just have to call Athenea and ask her something."

"A spell?"

"Yes, a couple of them really."

"Is it safe?"

"Yes, it will protect William and his identity. And you."

"I meant is it safe for you, Willow?"

"Yeah, it will be safe for me," she said, smiling at her friends concern.

"Good then. Do what you have to do."

"I will. Right after breakfast," she said, as Dawn and William carried out a big platter of eggs and the coffeepot.

After breakfast, Willow went out to find an area, where her digital phone could get a decent signal, and William helped Elizabeth clear the table. He had been quiet during breakfast, not making much eye contact with her. As he put down the dishes, she turned to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"Well, for one thing, you haven't looked at me once since you came out of the bathroom."

He looked at her, saw the concern in her face and something else. Hurt.

He melted.

"I just...I heard you and Dawn laughing and I thought it was...I thought you were laughing at...me."

"Why? Why would we laugh at you? Why would I?"

"Wouldn't be the first time a lady laughed at me," he mumbled.

As she tried to remember, it came to her. They had been laughing, when Willow asked him if he'd slept well. "Oh," she said, lowering her voice, "Dawn heard us, well, heard me moaning this morning. She asked me all innocent like how I'd slept, then grilled me. So it was sort of a joke between us. But not at you, honestly."

"What did you say?" he asked stiffly, part fear, part embarrassment.

Buffy put her arms around him and whispered in his ear, "I told her you had the most lovely kisses that I'd ever had, and that's why I moaned, because they were so delicious and satisfying."

He looked at her, eyes wide, partly in wonder, partly in gratitude. "You said that?"

"I did. It's the truth," she said, and kissed him, right in the middle of the kitchen, just as Dawn walked in.
 

"Sheesh, you two, get a room!"

Buffy giggled and William turned red.

"Dawn, didn't I tell you that William was a great kisser?"

"Yeah, Buffy, you did," she said, rolling her eyes, "but you don't have to give a demonstration!"

Later on, Buffy was sitting next to William on the couch, as he looked at the books that Willow had brought. He kept putting the books out at arm’s length. She smiled in understanding and got up. She dug around in her purse for a minute, and came back and held something out to him.

"Here, try these," she said, offering him a pair of store bought reading glasses, that she'd started using this past year when she started teaching.

He put them on and then picked up the book, smiling.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

She was only glad that she hadn't picked out the flowered ones. These were just plain, no-rim glasses. Maybe back in California, she'd take him to an eye doctor.

For the next hour, they sat on the couch as he read in amazement some of the inventions of the past 100+ years. She tried to read them too, over his shoulder, but squinted, now that he had her glasses, so he would read aloud a particular passage to her, when she’d ask him about something. Most of the inventions, she didn’t even remember the dates of, having just taken everything for granted. She wondered how it would be to wake up 100 years from now, how things would be all different.

She noticed a couple of times, tears seemed to come to his eyes, whether it was in amazement, or being overwhelmed, she didn’t know. Probably both.

"Why don’t I know all this?" Why can’t I remember all this?" he would ask her, pained.

"I don’t know," she would answer. That was partly the truth. She didn’t know why he he’d come back with only William’s memories, instead of Spike’s.

"It’s okay," she’d tell him, patting his leg in reassurance.

He just shook his head. Finally, she took the book from him. "I think that’s enough for now, don’t you?"

"There’s so much I need to know," he told her, trying to open up the book again.

"I know. I know, but you don’t have to memorize, learn, or even understand it all in one day. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your understanding, your education of all this. I don’t want you to try to do too much, too soon."

"But I have to know. I have to."

"I know. But not all at once," she insisted.

He sighed and reluctantly gave her back her reading glasses.

"I’ll put these on the dresser, so we can both use them," she said.

"Men on the moon?"

"Yeah, but not for a while now."

"Why?"

"Too much money, I think."

"It shouldn’t matter. 40 years ago they landed on the moon then didn’t go on to other planets? That’s absurd! Obscene!"

"You’re right. And very astute," she told him, smiling.

He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes.

"Cloning?"

"Yeah, not the easiest thing to do, I guess."

"Would you?"

"What?"

"Make a copy of yourself or someone else you loved?"

"Not of me, but…well…even if I did, it wouldn’t be like I could give them the same environment, that the original had, so they would genetically be the same, but they’d still be different. There’s a nature versus nurture argument.

He looked puzzled.

"You know, what exerts the most influence the environment or one’s genes, one’s own inherent nature," she said, clarifying.

He nodded, thinking, "Both, I’d say."

"Exactly! Maybe if I’d just lost a baby…because it would still be a baby and hadn’t had much time to be in an environment I would want to do it, but I guess that even then, you’d want to replicate the internal environment exactly. Or maybe not, if I’d just lost it," she said, thinking about it in a philosophical way, although the fact that she’d even used the word baby gave her pause. It was something that she tried never, ever to think about, and all of a sudden it slipped out.

"Sort of like me.’

"What? A baby? You’re not…"

"I’m like a clone. I’m the same, but I’m different," he said sadly.

"William," she said, not knowing what else to say, "it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay, too."

He put his head on her shoulder for a few moments. How would he be okay without his memory? With only false ones? They didn’t seem false, but then, they had to be, what else could they be?

The first thing he’d looked for in the book, when Elizabeth had left him for a few minutes had been on aging. He thought perhaps there had been some sort of miracle medicine developed to keep people looking young for a century. Perhaps it had been some sort of fluke of medicine from the 1870’s or 1880’s. But if they’d had it then, wouldn’t everyone have wanted it? Maybe the ingredients had been lost; the person who invented it killed. He thought, perhaps that had been his secret; and when he’d met Elizabeth! He just didn’t tell her he was over 100 years old, because judging by what he looked like to himself in the mirror, he was late 20’s at most. What if he was keeping that a secret from her? He’d found some way to keep looking young and he was really an old man?

Then, he reasoned, he’d lost his memory, except for the first 20+ years. But that didn’t make sense. Alas, he’d read that the average age for both men and women was now into their mid- late 70’s. That alone was shocking! He remembered that if someone made it to their middle 50’s, they were doing quite well. Still, he could find nothing on miracle medicine, past or present. No miracle drug to make one looking young, being young.

"I think…I think I’m going to lay down a while. I’ve seemed to developed a headache," William said, getting up, when she’d come back into the living room.

"I can understand why," she said, pointing to the book. "I’ll bring you some aspirin."

"Alright," he said. He’d learned all about aspirin and the uncomfortable art of taking pills in the hospital.

She came into the bedroom a few minutes later. He was lying there on top of the covers staring at the ceiling.

"Here, take these," she said, holding out a couple of aspirin and a bottle of water to him.

He sighed, propping himself up on his elbows in order to take them, then laid back down.

Concerned, she put her hands on his head and gently massaged his scalp and temples.

He gave into the feeling and closed his eyes.

A few minutes later, she got up to leave.

"Do you have to go?" he asked, opening his eyes.

"I’m sorry, I want to stay, but I need to talk to Willow about some things. You try to take a little nap now, okay? I’ll be back in about an hour. Promise. If you’re still in bed, then I’ll come lay down with you."

"Okay. Don’t ask."

"What?"

"You know," he said, with a shy smile.

She smiled back, "I won’t," she said, and kissed him then before she left.

Dawn was coming out of the bathroom with her swimsuit on, when Buffy came into the kitchen.

"Oh, Dawn, were you just going to the beach?"

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"Could you do me a favor? Could you stay in the cabin with William for a while?"

"Sure, where is he?"

"Laying down, he had a headache. Nothing serious, just on overload from Willow’s invention books, I think."

"Sure, where are you going?"

"I have to talk to Willow. Did she show you the article?"

Dawn nodded, "Yes, I saw it. And I also threw it away so he didn’t."

"Thanks, next thing I was going to say."

"Okay, no problem, I’ll be here," she said, flopping down on the couch with her laptop.

"Thanks, Dawn."

Dawn waved to Buffy as she went out the sliding door to the deck and to find Willow.

She saw Willow sitting on the dock and went to join her.

"Did you get in touch with Athenea?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, and she agreed with what I was thinking."

"Which was?"

"That the first thing I have to do is to erase everyone’s memory and all paper traces of William Worthington from the past few weeks. From the time that William was found in the museum and all of his time spent in the hospital."

"That way," Willow continued, "nobody will be able to look over his records, including any thugs that Angel might send."

"I’m sure he will be, if he hasn’t already. Bastard," she swore under her breath, how could he do this to me? To Spike?"

"He’s jealous; of both of you. Spike for the Shanshu that he assumed was going to be his, and you…well, because you love Spike."

"Yeah, except he’s not really Spike anymore," she said, giving voice to what she knew now to be true. "I don’t know if he ever will be. Do you think he will?"

"Um, I don’t know. What if he’s not Buffy? Have you thought of that? I mean about your feelings for him?"

"What do you mean, my feelings, he’s still, I mean Spike still had William inside him and I loved him. Them. Ug!" she sighed, her own head hurt now.

"But William doesn’t seem to be any of what Spike was," Willow said, gently.

"Of course he is, because Spike had William inside him, I mean…" she looked at Willow. "I don’t know what I mean, but I care. No. I love William, too. I loved him when I knew him before, at least the parts I got to see in Spike, so there’s just more of William to love now, right?"

"I guess so," Willow answered, heavy with new knowledge, she’d just gotten about the prophecy which she couldn’t share, lest it be interfered with or changed somehow.

They sat for a while, just looking out at the water, watching a person put up a dive flag and go snorkeling, watched as a couple of paddleboats took off with happy peddlers.

What if William was never Spike? Never remembered his life as Spike, how he’d felt about her. Did it matter? He seemed to be quite into her right now. Was he remembering, somewhere inside him, the love they’d shared? Or, just as William, discovering what it was like to be a man with a woman? Why did Willow have to ask such difficult questions when she was happy being in the land of De Nile, at least for now?

Shaking the tough questions out of her head, she turned to Willow. "You can erase what? Newspapers? Hospital records? Police reports? All the memories of everybody who ever dealt with William or me?"

"Yes."

"What about Dr. Turner? And Leroy and Bernie?" she asked.

"What are you asking me?"

"It’s just that…well, I thought that maybe William would want to speak to Dr. Turner if he had any questions or felt too stressed. You know? Maybe even I would."

Willow thought about it for a minute. "I can do a special spell on them, so that upon hearing your voice or William’s that they remember everything, but the minute that they aren’t, then they will be unable to remember anything about either of you two. Unless they need to mail you something or something like that. But if Angel was to capture them, torture them, or more benignly, hook them up to a lie detector, even then, they wouldn’t know a thing and it would be ‘technically’ the truth."

"Is it safe for you, for them?"

"Yes, I’ve got the power of the coven behind me on this, so not a problem.

"There’s another spell I need to do, one involving you and William."

"What is it?"

"I need to do a protection spell over you and William, in particular, so that he can’t be hurt by any supernatural forces. Or any forces hired by the supernatural, like Angel did in hiring Dr. Polydefkis."

"That would be good, won’t it? That he’ll be protected?" she let out a sigh of relief.

"Yes, you, too. But it won’t protect you or him from being hit by a car or anything like that, " she said, but to herself thought, ‘or from the rest of the prophecy that might turn out one way or the other.’

"Oh, thanks for that reminder. Crap, he could be hit by a car. Or a bus. Oh, God!"

"Buffy!"

"Okay, okay, I’ll deal with the non-supernatural stuff. As much as there is!" she said, mentally noting all the things that could hurt him. Poison, cars, staple guns. Stop, Buffy, she told herself, he’s not a baby!

Buffy and Willow walked back to the cabin.

"If I haven’t already said it, thank you, Willow. For coming, for helping, if it hadn’t been for you…I don’t know what I would have done," Buffy said, gratefully.

"It’s okay, Buffy. It’s what I do!"

"Um, I don’t think I’ve asked you, with everything going on, but how’s Kennedy? Did she mind that you were leaving?"

Willow laughed, "What part do you want me to answer first? Okay, Kennedy is fine, but she’s taking a particularly hard summer school course right now. So, to answer your second question, she was rather glad to get me out of her hair for a while, I think, just so she could give all her concentration to studying."

"Is she slaying?"

"Not-so-much right now, but she has an open ended offer to work for Giles anytime. We all do. I just don’t know if I want to and neither does Kennedy. Of course, for her, it’s different. I think she really does want to get involved, kick some ass, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"Do you ever?"

"No, I haven’t since…Sunnydale. In fact, it seems that some of that super-slayer power seems to have left me. Don’t know why, maybe it’s a case of use it or lose it, or just it’s not as strong, once I decided to share it."

"Faith is still kicking demon ass, from what Giles tells me. He talks to her and Robin pretty regularly. She finished her G.E.D., and has even taken some correspondence college courses. Giles would still like to open a school in Cleveland for slayers, too, but that’s sort of up in the air. Think Robin would like her to semi-retire and start a family, at least that’s what she tells Giles.
 

"Family?"

"You know, he’s never really had one, since his mother…"

Buffy looked at her.

"I’m sorry, that was thoughtless of me. I forgot about Spike’s history with Robin. Robin’s mother."

"That’s okay. Are you happy Will? With your life now? With Kennedy?"

"Yeah, I am, Buffy. I like living in England. Even the first time I went there with Giles, it felt familiar somehow, more comfortable than Sunnydale. Of course, that’s not saying a lot," she snorted, "but it fit, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do," Buffy answered, thinking of Julian and her home. Their home, she corrected herself.

"I feel like I fit, where I live now. Still, something’s been missing."

"Spike?"

Buffy nodded.

They spent the next 45 minutes just talking like old times, about their lives, their happier memories, and even some of the sadder ones.

As they walked back into the cabin, they could hear the voices of Dawn and William. They were sitting on the couch together looking at her laptop. William had on headphones. He waved.

"This is amazing!" William yelled in the way people do when they’re using headphones.

"What’s he doing?" she asked, giving Dawn a warning look.

"Trolling through some music sites. Classical, for now," Dawn said, rolling her eyes, "I told William I was going to ‘rock’ his world with a real music education."

"When did he get up?"

"About half an hour ago."

"How’s his headache."

"Gone, he said."

"So, you were explaining the Internet to him?"

"Not exactly. Kind of hard to explain that in half an hour. I was listening to some music files and he asked me to explain, so I gave him the 15-minute tour. He digs it!" Dawn said, smiling.

"Wonder if he still likes The Ramones?" Buffy mused.

"Who? Oh, yeah, I remember."

"You do?"

"Yeah, used to hang with him in his crypt and when you were gone, remember?"

"Dawn!" Buffy said, horrified.

"Shit!" Dawn said, guiltily, realizing what she’d just said. They both looked at William, but he had been preoccupied and hadn’t heard them.

They both let out a sigh of relief.

"Sorry," Dawn said.

"It’s okay, nearly said stuff myself. Kind of hard not to."

"You’re going to have to explain something, sometime."

"I know. I just can’t do that to him. Not now."

Dawn nodded.

The next couple of hours Dawn had her swim; Willow explained how to use a search engine.

"Just Google it," she told him, when he was looking for a name of a rugby team in England.

"Is google a new verb?" he asked.

"Um, not really, but there’s been so many new words and terms that came with the Internet, we just sort of use them that way sometimes," she said sheepishly, then proceeded to tell him what Google was.

"I see," he said seriously. "So, if I was using Yahoo, I’d say, I’m going to Yahoo it?" he asked.

"Not really, I mean you could, though I’ve never heard anyone refer to Yahoo that way. Guess Google just sounds…I don’t know…funnier, more verb-like?"

He shook his head. He’d never get these idiosyncrasies!

END CHAPTER 50