The Storm

Disclaimer: I own nothing here but the story. I borrow it all from Joss and Co. Please don't sue.

Author's note: This is the fourth part in my Heart of Darkness series.

Summary: Buffy and Spike try to find a way to help Willow. But does Willow want help?

Rating: PG-13

~Heart of Darkness~

The Storm

Part Four-

Buffy sat in her room getting dressed. She had managed to sneak back into the house last night without being detected. She wasn't sure how she was going to pull this charade off. She had to pretend that she wasn't on to Willow. She also had to pretend that she wasn't seeing Spike anymore. It wasn't going to be easy.

She also wondered if she should try and bring Xander into this. He loved Willow too, and he deserved to know what was going on. But Buffy was only afraid that if too many people knew, it would be harder for them to be sneaky. She'd have to think about that later. Right now, she just needed to concentrate on keeping Willow calm and happy, while she and Spike tried to find a way to stop this mess.

She heard a knock at her door and sighed. Time to put on the happy face.

"Come in."

Willow peeked her head in the door.

"Hey, Buffy."

"Hey." Buffy smiled, though it pained her.

"I was just thinking, since I didn't have class today, that we could go to a movie or something?" Willow said hopefully.

Buffy looked at her quizzically.

"What about the Magic Box? I thought you said you were gonna take over, since Anya's MIA." Buffy asked.

"I got it covered. I sent Tara over there. She can handle it." Willow smiled.

"Oh. Okay." Buffy said softly.

"So, do you want to do something or not?" Willow asked just a touch impatiently.

"Sure. Sounds like fun." Buffy smiled weakly.

"Great. I mean, I feel really bad about yesterday and our little tiff. It'll be my treat." She said trying to smooth things over.

Buffy cringed inwardly at Willow describing threatening to send her back to hell, a `little tiff'. She pushed it away and smiled.

"Don't worry about it. It's forgotten." Like a lot of other things apparently…She thought to herself.

Buffy finished getting dressed and they headed out to the movie theatre. Buffy tried to relax and have fun, but she was preoccupied. Most of the time though, Willow seemed like her old self. Buffy still had trouble believing that she was capable of the things that had been going on. But Buffy knew better.

After the movie was over, they decided to have lunch. They sat a table in a small café and waited for their food to come. Willow smiled at Buffy.

"This has been so much fun. I'm really glad you came today." She said sincerely.

"Me too." Buffy said, and almost meant it.

"So Buffy…Where did you go last night?" Willow asked curiously, unable to get it off her mind.

Buffy looked at her worriedly. She tried to disguise the fact that her heart had leapt into her throat. Did Willow know everything? She wondered to herself.

"When?" She asked, playing dumb.

"In the middle of the night. I saw you leaving."

"Were you watching me?" Buffy asked curiously.

"No. I just couldn't sleep. That's all." Willow said quickly.

Buffy sighed.

"Me neither. I just went out for a walk mostly. I needed to clear my head."

"Oh. That's what I figured." Willow said relieved that her suspicions were correct.

They sat in silence for a short time and their food arrived. They began to eat and Willow looked over at Buffy again.

"So, have you seen him?" She asked.

Buffy nearly choked on her sandwich. She looked up.

"Who?"

"Spike."

"No. Why would I see him? It's over. I hate him." She protested, maybe just a little too vigorously. Less is more, Buffy…She tried to tell herself.

"Right. I just wondered if he'd tried to contact you or see you or anything." Willow said casually.

She wanted to make sure he hadn't tried to tell Buffy about the amulet or anything else. She needed to be certain that Buffy was still on her side.

"No, I haven't seen him. He's probably long gone by now." She told her.

"Good." Willow said sighing with relief.

Buffy sat and picked at her food. She wanted so badly to talk to Willow about all this. She wondered if maybe she'd have an explanation or if Buffy could somehow get through to her. Spike had warned her to just play dumb, but it pained Buffy to do that, when there was so much she wanted to say. Finally, she just spoke.

"Will? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?" Willow asked with a smile.

"It's just, I was wondering…I mean…How have you been doing lately?" Buffy asked, chickening out of a poorly timed confrontation.

"Fine. Does it seem like I'm not doing okay?" Willow asked curiously.

"No. You seem fine. It's just we haven't talked a lot lately. I was just wondering." Buffy said nervously.

"Well, it's not my fault we haven't talked." Willow muttered under her breath.

Buffy looked uncomfortable for a moment, but she brushed off Willow's remark and smiled.

"Why don't you tell me what you've been up to? I mean, learn any new spells?" Buffy asked, then regretted it. She was terrible at being inconspicuous.

"What?" Willow asked anxiously.

"I-I just meant, that cool laundry spell you did was pretty handy. I-I thought maybe you had one for doing windows or vacuuming or something." Buffy laughed nervously, as she tried to backpedal out of the moment.

Willow sighed and then smiled.

"Yeah. I've been working on some stuff. It's really cool. I have this one where I can like freeze people in their tracks. I-I figured it would work really well for like slaying, or something. You know, freeze the vamps, and then just walk over and stake them." Willow said, excited that Buffy was taking an interest in her magical studies.

"Sounds great." Buffy said with a smile, to cover her nervousness at that revelation.

"Yeah, it will be. But, I'm not done perfecting it yet. Right now, it just sort of makes people move really slow." Willow shrugged.

She was happy that Buffy was interested in what she was doing, but Willow also knew that she couldn't really tell Buffy the truth either. She couldn't know about the amulet. She had to play it cool.

"Well, I'm sure you'll get it just right soon enough. You're getting really good with the magical stuff, aren't you?" Buffy asked with a smile.

"Well, I'm still learning. But, yeah. It's really exciting." Willow said happily.

"What about Tara?"

"What about her?" Willow asked giving Buffy a strange look.

"I just meant, is she helping you out and stuff? With the magic?" Buffy asked.

"I don't need Tara's help." Willow said irritated.

"I know. I just wondered if she was as quick a study as you are." Buffy said quickly.

"No. She isn't. It's too bad really. I mean she had potential, but she just isn't as gifted, I guess." Willow shrugged, smug with herself.

"Oh. Too bad for Tara." Buffy said softly, not knowing what else to say.

They finished their lunch and decided to go home. Buffy went upstairs and Willow went into her room saying she needed to study for a test. Buffy was relieved that their fake bonding session was over. It was tiring for her to try and think of something to say when all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry over the insanity of everything.

She hoped that Spike would be able to help her with this. She didn't want to involve Giles, unless she really had to. She knew he might be able to help, but she didn't want to worry him. She also knew that he had experience with dark magic himself. If anyone could get through to Willow, it might be him. But still, Giles told her when he left for good, that it was time for her to learn to take care of things on her own.

He had meant well, and she completely understood his position. But she still missed his wisdom and guidance. Especially now. Buffy could handle vampires and demons without even batting an eyelash these days. But when the evil hit close to home, that's when it really hurt. That's when she started to panic inside and feel overwhelmed. That's when she hated being a Slayer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next night, Buffy said she was going patrolling. She in fact, was going to see Spike. He had told her when they last spoke, that he was going to try and get some information from some of his underground contacts. She hoped that he had been able to find something out. She felt useless on her end. She had pretty much done nothing except have lunch and take in a movie with the enemy.

She walked into his crypt and found him pacing anxiously around the room. He stopped when he saw her and smiled cautiously. These days, he was afraid to approach her first, only because he didn't know what to expect. It felt like every time she walked away from him, it might be the last time.

She smiled back and went over to him. She leaned up to kiss him, and he pulled her into his arms.

"Still love me?" He asked with a small smile.

"Why wouldn't I? What have you done?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing. I just had to be sure your brain hadn't gone mushy again. Wouldn't want to be surprised with a nice stake to heart while I kissed you." He told her with a grin.

"I'm still me. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. It sucks in the worst way." She said with a sigh.

"Well, I think I may have found a lead. Someone who can help us out." He told her as he began to pace again.

"Well, spill it."

"It seems there's this person. Well, he isn't really a person, but close enough. Anyway, he's pretty powerful in the magical circles. I think he can help us get the barrier down, so we can get the amulet." He said as he lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

"Okay. So this `person', and I use the term loosely, why would he help us?" She asked with a sigh.

"Well, I reckon that he could be persuaded. That is if we offer up a few bills first." Spike said, taking a drag on his cigarette.

Buffy sighed.

"I don't have much money with me. Why is it you evil types always expect to be paid for doing good deeds?" She asked with a smirk.

"Hey now. I don't expect to get paid anymore." He said defensively.

"No. Because the warm fuzzies you get in the cockles of your dead heart, is reward enough." She said mockingly.

"Yeah, that's it." He said rolling his eyes. "I was thinkin' more like your lips are my reward." He said with a smirk, as he leaned over to kiss her.

She pushed him away playfully.

"Oh god. You are so lame. You think a line like that would really work?" She teased him.

"Maybe." He shrugged.

"Come on. Let's go. Looks like I need to stop at the ATM first." She said rolling her eyes.

They made their way to the bank and then on to this mystery `persons' place. Buffy hoped Spike knew what he was doing. She also hoped this guy would be able to help them out. They walked up to a house that looked completely normal. It even had a white picket fence. She looked at Spike.

"Are you sure this is it? It looks like the Brady's live here." She said sarcastically.

"This is the address. Not all baddies live in caves." He said rolling his eyes.

"No, they live in cemeteries." She said with a smirk.

He ignored her comment and just shook his head.

"Let me do the talkin', okay?" He said, as they walked up to the door.

"Why? You think I can't persuade this guy? I can be persuasive." She said crossing her arms irritated.

"I'm sure you can. But trust me, just let me handle this." He said with a sigh.

"Fine." She sighed.

Spike knocked at the door and they waited. Finally a man, or what looked like a man, came to the door. He had white hair and a long beard. The only clue that he was something other than human, were his bright yellow eyes.

"Who are you?" He asked, taking in the appearance of his callers.

"Doesn't matter. Look, we need some help." Spike said using his forceful, important voice.

"Help? I'm not in the business of helping." He said, as he tried to slam the door in their face.

"Wait. We need some dark magic. And I hear that is your business." Buffy spoke up.

Spike rolled his eyes at her impatiently. She never listened to him.

"Keep your voice down." The `man' said leaning closer to her. Then he smelled the air and recoiled away from her. He looked at Spike.

"She's human? You brought a human here?" He asked disgusted. Before Spike had a chance to say anything, the `man' sniffed the air again. "And she's a Slayer? What is this, some kind of joke? Get out of here." He hissed at him.

"Wait. We need your help. I-I have money." Buffy said pulling out a wad of cash.

"How much money?" The `man' asked, suddenly interested.

"Enough. Now, will you let us in?" Spike asked.

"No. You can come in, but she's not welcome here." He said pointing at Buffy.

Buffy groaned.

"Get over yourself, will you? I'm not here to slay you. I don't even know what you are, and I don't care. And if you want to get acquainted with this wad of cash, then I suggest you welcome me." She said heatedly.

He stood there and looked at her. Then he smiled.

"Come on in." He said, as motioned for them to follow him as he walked back inside.

Spike leaned over to Buffy and whispered in her ear.

"Nice work, Love." He said with a smile.

"I told you I could be persuasive." She smiled proud of herself.

Spike just sighed and followed her inside. They followed the `man' into a room that looked to be a library. There were volumes upon volumes of books lining the walls.

"Put the money on the table." He told them.

"First, tell us if you can help us." Buffy said.

The man looked at her and smiled. Suddenly the money flew out of her hands and into his. She looked stunned for a moment, then sighed.

"Cool trick. What else do you have?" She asked.

"Uh, Pet? We don't want to find out. Let's just get our information and go." Spike said through clenched teeth. Sometimes, Buffy just drove him insane.

"Fine." She sighed.

"We're looking for a spell to break down a magical barrier." Spike said.

"What kind of barrier?"

"A protection barrier."

"Ah. Well, It depends. Are we talking child's play or serious magic?" He asked curiously.

"I'd say serious. Big time serious." Buffy chimed in.

"Okay. Well, I have some breakdown spells. But it also depends on how big the barrier is. Are we talking about a building or something smaller?"

"Smaller. A nightstand." Buffy told him.

"A nightstand? Someone is protecting a nightstand?" He asked with a chuckle.

"No, more like something inside the nightstand." Spike clarified.

"Ah, okay. Well, that shouldn't be too hard." He said, looking through some of his books.

"Also, do you have any books on amulets or anything like that?" Spike asked him.

"Amulets? What sort?"

"The evil sort." Spike told him.

"That'll cost extra." He smiled.

Buffy sighed and pulled the rest of her money out of her pocket. It flew out of her hand again, and simultaneously a thick book flew off the shelf and landed at her feet. She reached down and picked it up.

"Amulets and Other Mystical Tools." She read aloud.

"Yeah. That has information on just about anything. I assume you'll find whatever it is you're seeking." He said with a smile as he continued to peruse his books. Then he looked up. "But if you don't find it, there are no refunds." He said with a smile.

Buffy rolled her eyes. Sometimes she hated her life.

"Aha! Here we go. This spell should do the trick." He said happily.

"Great. Write it down and we'll be out of your hair." Spike said quickly.

He got out a pad of paper and jotted the information down. He handed it over to Spike.

"There are some ingredients you'll need. I could throw those in for an extra twenty." He smiled.

"No. That's okay. We'll manage." Buffy said rolling her eyes.

"Nice doing business with you. Please, don't come again." He said ushering them out the door.

Once outside, Spike turned to Buffy.

"That was interesting." He muttered.

"I just hope he didn't screw us. I just spent $300 dollars for a piece of paper and one measly book. It better be worth it." She grumbled.

"Come on. Let's go back to my place. We can look this stuff over." He said taking her arm and leading her away.

Once they got back to his place, they went downstairs. Buffy threw off her jacket and Spike did the same. She climbed up on his bed and lay down on her back. He walked over and laid down next to her with the book in his hand.

"I guess we should start reading." She said with a sigh.

"It would probably be a good place to start."

She rolled onto her side, and propped herself up on her elbows to face him.

"I hate research." She said thoughtfully.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, you and I? We're the action guys. The research was just the boring stuff that everyone else was so good at. That was Willow's specialty." She added sadly.

"Well, I don't think she'll be much help with this." He said softly.

"I know. It's just weird, you know? I feel bad going behind her back like this." She said shaking her head.

"Don't. You know she's out of control. We have no choice." He said seriously.

"I know. It's just, sometimes she seems so `Willow like'. I mean, I just don't get it." She said sadly.

"Neither do I, but we can't think like that. We need to focus." He said looking at her.

"Do you think I should tell Xander?"

"No. I think it's best we just keep this between us for now." He said quickly.

"But he might be able to help."

"Not yet. Let's do a little reading first, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded her head.

They laid on the bed together and opened the book up. They found an entire section dealing with The Heart of Darkness. It turned out to be pretty helpful with knowing exactly what they were dealing with. Buffy looked over at Spike.

"So you were right. If we destroy the amulet, the power will be gone." She said to him.

"Yeah, and all the spells she's performed with it will be broken."

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah. I'd say it is. But Buffy, there is something else we need to think about." He said looking at her seriously.

"What?"

"Well, there's a chance that Willow might not go down easily. This could get ugly. You have to prepare yourself for the worst." He said knowing it was going to be hard for her to hear.

"Do you mean she might have to die? That we'd need to kill her?" She asked horrified, but also knowing that he was right.

"I hope not, but yes. It might be the only way. If we can't get to that amulet, or if somehow destroying it doesn't solve everything…" He began quietly.

"No. We aren't going to kill her. We can't. She's still Willow, she's just confused. It's the amulet. It's doing this to her." Buffy protested, as she sat up on the bed.

"Buffy, this started before the amulet. You know that. This is deeper. And it's true, that the amulet is influencing her. And maybe destroying it will snap her out of this. But if it doesn't, you need to remember that she was plenty powerful all on her own. This might not cure her." He explained.

Buffy sat there numbly. She knew he was right. She was just hoping that she was the only one who'd thought about it. Now, hearing him say it out loud made it all the more real. She wasn't sure she could handle this.

"I can't do this, Spike. I can't do it." She whispered, as a tear fell from her eyes.

He sat up and pulled her to him. He held her tightly.

"You can do this. We will do everything we can to stop this and help her. I promise you that. But, don't expect it to be easy." He said to her gently.

"Why does this stuff always happen? Why can't everything just be good for once?" She complained sadly.

"Because, that would be boring, I suspect." He said trying to lighten the mood.

She laughed slightly, then shook her head.

"I like boring. Right now, boring would not suck."

"We'll get back to boring soon enough." He assured her.

Buffy smiled slightly and glanced over at the clock. It was after midnight. She sighed.

"I need to go. She saw me sneak out the other night. I can't risk her asking more questions." She told him.

"She saw you?"

"Yeah. But I covered. She didn't suspect anything." Buffy reassured him.

"Good. We can't take any chances. I'll walk you out." He said, helping her off the bed.

They walked up the ladder and they walked to the door. He opened it for her and they walked out front. He took her into his arms again and kissed her passionately. He wished that things could be normal again too. He missed being able to be with her, without having to sneak around.

He wanted to spend hours in bed with her, holding her and making love like they used to. But he knew that there wasn't time for that now. Her mind was elsewhere. But he still needed to feel her. Just to prove that she was really still there. Finally, they pulled away from each other.

"I have to go." She said regretfully.

"I'll see you later." He said, letting her go reluctantly.

"I love you." She said with a smile.

"I love you too."

She turned and walked away and he went back inside. Neither one of them saw Willow standing behind a large grave marker. She had come to see for herself if Spike had actually left town. She hadn't planned on finding Buffy there. She moved out and stared after Buffy's retreating form. She felt her blood boiling.

Spike and Buffy were still seeing each other. This was not happening, she told herself. She thought she had taken care of this matter. How could Buffy still be seeing him? It didn't make sense. Willow took a deep breath and tried to focus.

She wasn't sure what to do now. She could try another spell to make Buffy forget, or she could just walk in and stake Spike herself. That would do the trick. Her mind was so jumbled. She couldn't believe Buffy was lying to her.

She turned and took off running in the other direction. She needed to get home and try and sort this out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning, Buffy woke up and went downstairs. She saw Dawn sitting at the table eating breakfast. She sat down across from her.

"Morning." She said softly.

"Morning."

"Where is everyone?"

Dawn shrugged.

"They went to the Magic Box."

"Oh. So what are your plans for today?" Buffy asked.

She knew that she'd been neglecting Dawn lately. Buffy felt like she barely had time to breathe, let alone do anything else. She was starting to feel really guilty.

"Actually, I was going to ask you if it would be alright if I spent the weekend with Carrie. Her parents are taking her to Disneyland and they invited me to go. I was going to ask you last night, but you got in too late." Dawn said quietly.

"I'm sorry. I know I've been totally preoccupied lately. Of course you can go." Buffy said feeling terribly for Dawn.

"It's okay, Buffy. I know that some stuff is going on." Dawn admitted.

"You do?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, Spike going all evil again. You guys breaking up. I know you're stressed out." Dawn said sympathetically.

"Yeah. Things are a little crazy." Buffy said softly. For a minute there, she thought Dawn suspected something about Willow.

"I really never thought that Spike would start killing people again like that. I thought he was cool." Dawn admitted softly.

"I know Dawnie." Buffy said softly, wanting to tell her the truth. But now was not the time.

She knew she couldn't explain this without telling her about Willow. And Buffy thought it was safer if Dawn knew as little as possible. She didn't want her involved at all if she could help it.

"Well, I better get my stuff packed. I need to be over at Carrie's in an hour." Dawn said getting up from the table.

"You want me to drive you there?"

"Sure." Dawn smiled.

Buffy sat back and sighed. She was kind of glad that Dawn was going to be gone for the next few days. Things around here might get a little insane and she wanted Dawn no where near here when it happened.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

That evening, Buffy walked into the living room on her way out. Willow was sitting there staring straight ahead. Buffy looked at her curiously.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

Willow snapped herself out of her trance and looked at Buffy.

"No. I'm fine. Just thinking." She said softly.

"Oh. Well, I need go out for a little while."

"Patrolling again?"

"Yeah."

"Be careful. You never know when a vampire might turn on you." She said calmly.

Buffy looked at her curiously and was unnerved by her demeanor.

"Sure. I'll be careful." Buffy said giving her an odd look.

Willow smiled and Buffy headed out the door. Willow stood up and went upstairs. She pulled her amulet out of her nightstand and put it on.

"Okay, Spike. So, you've got Buffy convinced you're not evil anymore. Maybe you just need a little push." She said to herself.

She began to recite a spell.

Bind him to darkness

Revoke the love

Her chanting was interrupted by the phone ringing. Her concentration was broken and she sighed loudly.

"Damn it!" She muttered, as she went to pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Willow, it's me. I-I need help. I can't figure out how to get the cash register open. It's stuck. And I've got customers waiting. Plus, it's almost closing time." Tara said frantically on the other end.

Willow sighed. Tara was not very self sufficient anymore. It was tiring. But Willow knew someone had to watch the store. That had been one little tidbit that Willow hadn't considered when she got rid of Anya. She forgot that there wouldn't be anyone to run the store.

"Can't you figure it out by yourself?" Willow asked Tara irritated.

"I tried. Willow, please come down here. I know you can make it all better." Tara pleaded with her.

"Fine. I'll be right there." She sighed.

She hung up the phone and took her amulet off. The moment was ruined and she was too preoccupied now. This would have to wait until later.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy and Spike sat on his bed together going over the spell that they had gotten.

"I guess we need to get these ingredients soon." Buffy said looking over the list.

"Yeah. I was thinking that tonight we could pay another visit to the magic shop." He told her.

"Yeah. It closed like an hour ago, so we should wait a little longer."

He looked over at her and could see the stress wearing on her face. She was worried and he could tell. He reached over to her and pulled her closer to him. She snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes.

"This feels nice." She murmured softly.

"Yeah, it does." He agreed.

"It's funny how you always do that." She said thoughtfully.

"How I always do what?"

"Make me feel better. I mean, when things get crazy, I tend to lose it a little. But you always calm me down. Just being in your arms makes me feel better." She told him softly.

"Buffy, it might take more than my arms to make this one better." He said softly.

"Shh. Don't ruin it. Let me believe that you can make it all better. I need to think that or else I might start crying and not be able to stop." She said, pulling back to look at him.

He smiled at her softly and pulled her back over to him. He kissed the top of her head, then worked his way down, planting kisses down the sides of her face. She looked into his eyes and leaned over to kiss him.

He entwined his fingers in her hair and pulled her closer to deepen their kiss. They fell back onto the bed. Their lips and hands exploring each other's bodies. He kissed her ear and whispered to her.

"I can think of something else that might make you feel better." He smiled.

"Ooh, really?" She smiled back at him.

"Really."

He crushed his lips to hers once again. His hands gently roamed her body and he began to slowly remove her clothing. She reached up and pulled his jacket off, tossing it to the floor. She then quickly divested him of his remaining garments. It felt so good to be with him again. For an instant, it was like she could forget everything that was wrong in her life.

He placed kisses along her neck and he heard her moan contentedly. His lips traveled across her chest, down to her breasts, and back up to her lips again. She clutched him tightly to her. They were taking the time to enjoy every second of each other. They were relishing the feel and taste of each other's skin once again..

"I need you." She murmured into his ear.

He gazed into her eyes with a look that conveyed how much he loved her. His eyes told of how lucky he felt to even be in her presence, much less that she would need him and love him. It was still unreal to him. He kissed her gently as he entered her slowly. He wanted to savor the sensation of her warm body, engulfing his. She cried out and clutched him tighter to her body.

His movements were slow and filled with tenderness. This time there was no rush or desperation, like with their earlier encounter. He wanted to remember this forever. Something inside of him nagged at him that this may be the last time. He tried not to think of it, but it was there in the back of his mind. He pushed it away, and concentrated on making love to the woman he adored.

Afterwards, they lay in each other's arms, snuggled under the covers. Buffy sighed contentedly. He looked down at her and stroked her hair.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah. Sort of." She said softly.

"Sort of? That's it?" He asked slightly offended.

"Don't get all huffy. I just mean that it was a nice distraction. A very nice one. But, the badness is still there." She sighed unhappily.

"I know." He said quietly.

They lay in each other's arms for a long while. Finally Spike looked down at her again.

"We should probably get going now. We need to get the spell ingredients." He said regretfully.

He didn't really want to go anywhere, but he knew they needed to do this.

"Yeah. Let's get it over with." She sighed.

They got dressed and headed out. It was now close to midnight. They walked up to the magic shop and Spike fished in his pocket for his lock pick. He couldn't find it.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she noticed him fumbling in his pockets.

"I can't find my lock pick. I always have it with me." He muttered.

"Great. You know, maybe I should just get a key made for myself?" She said thoughtfully.

"Damn! It must have fallen out when you ripped my jacket off in a fit of passion." He said under his breath.

"Sure. Blame me. Look, we'll just have to go back and get it." She said rolling her eyes.

"No. I just need something to pick it open. Do you have a hairpin or anything?" He asked.

"A hairpin? No. Besides, that only works in the movies, doesn't it?"

"I could get it to work."

"Well, I don't have one. I have a rubber band" She said, pulling her hair down.

"What am I supposed to do with a rubber band? I'm not bloody MacGyver."

"Geez. What do you want me to do?"

"Look around on the ground. Maybe someone dropped something I can use."

She sighed and they both searched around for something suitable. Finally, Spike found a paperclip on the sidewalk. He picked it up.

"This might work." He smiled.

He bent it out of shape and went to work on the lock. He was having a hard time getting it to open. He kept dropping the paperclip and cursing under his breath.

"Hurry up, will you? It's not like we aren't conspicuous out here. The last thing we need is for someone to call the cops." She said urging him along.

"I'm bloody hurrying. This paperclip isn't working."

"Well make it work." She said quickly.

He looked at her and glared.

"I'm trying. But without the proper tools, this takes longer." He explained through clenched teeth.

"MacGyver could do it." She muttered with a smirk.

"Yeah, and if MacGyver were here, he'd just blow the bloody door off with a piece of chewing gum and a match." He said rolling his eyes.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"At least it'd be faster."

He ignored her, and felt the lock finally give way.

"Got it! Let's go." He said pushing the door open.

They walked inside and each pulled out a list of ingredients that they needed. They walked briskly through the shop. They were trying to find everything quickly, and keep the place looking undisturbed. Now that Willow had her hand in the shop, they didn't want her to notice that anything was missing.

Buffy pulled out a shopping bag and started putting things in it.

"God, if Anya were here, she'd flip out that we're stealing all this stuff." Buffy muttered.

"Lucky for us she's not." He said, pulling a bundle of herbs off the shelf.

"Are you almost done?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. Where's the dandelion root?"

"I think it's in the back. I need to go back there too. I need a badger's foot. Yuck." She said making a face.

They walked into the storeroom and started looking through the jars of spell components. Suddenly, they heard a noise in the front of the store. They both froze and looked at each other.

"What was that?" Buffy whispered.

"I don't know. Don't move." He said, creeping over towards the door.

They could hear footsteps coming towards the back room and Buffy felt her heart beating out of her chest.

"Spike." She said nervously.

"Shh." He said, putting his finger to his lips.

He waited by the door and they saw the handle turning. Spike tried to brace himself for the worst. They were busted and if this was Willow, they'd have to think quickly.

The door opened slowly and Spike hid himself behind it. A dark figure walked into the room slowly and Spike jumped out and grabbed the person and shoved them against the wall. They screamed.

"Ahh!!"

Buffy looked over and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Xander?" She asked.

Spike registered who he was pinning against the wall and let him go. Xander looked at him completely dumbfounded and terrified.

"Spike?" He asked nervously. He had no idea what was going on. He raised his arm to reveal a stake clutched in his hand.

"It's okay, Xander. He won't hurt you." Buffy said, walking over to where they were standing.

"What? What the hell is going on? What are you guys doing here? What's he doing here?" Xander asked irritated and confused.

"It's a long story. Why are you here?" Buffy asked.

"I-I got a call from the liquor store across the street. Manny said that someone was trying to break into the shop. He and Anya had an agreement that they'd look out for each other." Xander explained, still clutching his stake in the air, pointed at Spike.

"Will you put that away?" Spike asked, batting the stake out of Xander's hand. It went flying across the room.

Xander looked at him and glared. Then he looked back at Buffy.

"Why is he here? I thought we hated him again?" He asked confused.

"We did. But he's okay now. Trust me. It's such a long story." Buffy said shaking her head.

"Well, I've got time. And you'd better explain why you guys are here. I mean, is breaking and entering a new a hobby of yours Buffy? Has Spike corrupted you that much?" He asked incredulously.

"No." She sighed. Then she looked at Spike. "We have to tell him."

"I don't think it's a good idea." Spike said to her.

"But he deserves to know."

"It's too dangerous. I don't think we should risk it."

Xander watched them talk back in forth to each other and his head was spinning. He threw his hands up.

"Okay. Stop. Explain. Now." He said looking at them both seriously.

"Fine." Spike said shaking his head.

"Okay. Sit down. It might take awhile." Buffy said indicating a stack of boxes for them to sit on.

They sat down and Buffy explained everything that was going on to him. Xander sat there dumbfounded and in shock. Buffy was afraid he didn't believe her, or he thought she was crazy. Finally he spoke.

"Wow. I mean, are you serious?" He asked.

"Yeah. Unfortunately, yeah." Buffy said quietly.

"It's just that it's so not like her. I mean, this is Will. I've known her my whole life. She wouldn't do something like this." He said softly, shaking his head.

"I didn't want to believe it either, but it's true. Right now, she's in a bad place. We need to get her out of that place." Buffy said, going over to Xander and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"How can we do it?" He asked.

"Well, we have a plan to get the amulet back. But, the rest is gonna be harder." Buffy admitted.

"And it's gonna be up to her. If she doesn't want help, don't expect a miracle." Spike chimed in.

"What are you saying? That Willow wants to be like this? That she wants to hurt us? You're insane. It's the amulet. Not Willow." Xander said angrily.

"The amulet is only part of it. She does want it. She wants the power and the darkness. Don't tell me you hadn't noticed how powerful she'd been getting. I mean, she brought Buffy back from the dead for God's sake! How do you think she did that? You think that resurrection spell was just a neat party trick that Sabrina the Teenage Witch would do? We are talking BLACK magic. And that was before." Spike said, trying to get through to him.

Xander glared at him and said nothing. He knew Spike was right. He knew that Willow had gotten in way over her head with that spell. And he also knew that Willow had not told him everything there was to know about it either. He slumped his shoulders down and held his head in his hands.

"This is unreal." He said in disbelief.

"I know. But listen. She cannot know that we know this. You have to act like everything is cool and normal. She messed with my mind before, there's no telling what she'll do now. So act natural." Buffy told him seriously.

"What all has she done? I mean, what kind of spells are we talking about?" He asked, afraid of the answer.

"I'm not sure. She made me forget about the amulet, and probably other stuff too. I don't know. And she deactivated Spike's chip. Plus, we think she might have had something to do with Anya leaving." She said quietly.

Xander looked up at her shocked and saddened.

"What?"

"Well, doesn't it seem funny that right after Willow said she wanted her gone, that she just left? No explanation? Nothing? I mean, she wouldn't just leave this store. She loves this place." Buffy explained quietly.

Xander thought for a moment and felt tears coming to his eyes.

"You don't think she hurt her, do you?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know. I hope not." Buffy said looking at him sadly.

"Fine. Whatever we need to do. I want this to end. I want to try and get Willow back. And Anya too, if that's why she's gone. I want this to end now." Xander said with resolve.

"Good. Now let's get the rest of the ingredients, and get the hell out of here." Spike said, going back over to the shelves to grab merchandise.

"What's this stuff for now?" Xander asked curiously.

"We need to break down the barrier that Willow's got protecting the amulet." Buffy said, taking an item off the shelf and stuffing it into her bag.

"Then what?" Xander asked.

"We destroy it." Spike said.

"Okay. But how are you going to get Willow away from it long enough to do this spell?"

"Good question. We hadn't gotten that far yet." Buffy said with a sigh.

"Okay, are we ready? Do you have everything?" Spike asked Buffy.

"Yeah. All set. Let's get out of here."

They all walked out of the shop and Xander locked the door behind them. He turned to Spike and Buffy.

"So what now?" He asked.

"Well, now we all go on our merry way. Tonight never happened, understand? You don't know anything, and should act accordingly." Spike said seriously.

He hadn't wanted to bring Xander in on this at all. It was too risky and Spike was afraid he'd muck everything up.

"Fine. So I just pretend I'm clueless? For how long? I mean, when does this end?" He asked Spike.

"Soon. We just need some more time. Buffy will keep you informed. Just don't blow it." He told him.

"I won't. Willow is my best friend. I want to help her. I'm not going to blow anything." He said irritated that Spike didn't trust him.

"Fine." Spike relented. Then he turned to Buffy. "I'll take the spell stuff with me. I'll see you later."

She leaned over and kissed him. He pulled her close to him and their kiss grew in intensity. Finally, she pulled herself away.

"I have to go." She said giving him a small smile.

"See you soon."

He turned around and walked away from them. Buffy turned to Xander and sighed. He shook his head.

"I think I preferred it when you guys hated each other again." He said rolling his eyes at their affectionate goodbye.

"Let's go." Buffy said rolling her eyes.

Xander drove her home. In the car they were mostly silent until Xander finally spoke.

"Can you believe this? I mean, Willow? It's just crazy." He said, still in shock.

"I know. I've been saying that to myself over an over. But honestly, part of me isn't that surprised." Buffy admitted softly.

"What?" Xander asked incredulously.

"Well, its not like I thought Willow had a heart of evil. But her magic, its been getting strong for a long time. And sometimes she does things without thinking about the consequences. I mean, that whole thing with Glory? She went off half cocked, spewing dark magic all over the place. She could have gotten killed, but she didn't care. It's like, when Willow gets emotional, she gets a little nutty with the magic." Buffy tried to explain what she was feeling.

"So in other words, it's like homicidal PMS?" Xander asked curiously.

Buffy couldn't help but chuckle at that. She shook her head.

"I guess." She laughed. Then she turned serious again. "But either way, all those times she's used magic to cure her troubles, like with Glory, or when Oz left her… All those times, she got a little carried away, but she came back to us. She realized what she did was wrong. She'll come around again. We just have to believe that." Buffy said touching Xander's arm comfortingly.

"Yeah. You're right. Man…It's hard to believe that there was a time when the scariest thing Willow had done with her magic was make you and Spike get engaged." He said with a smile.

"That was scary. At the time, anyway." She said with a small smile.

Xander looked at her curiously.

"So Spike? He's really not eating people again?" He asked skeptically.

"He's not. Willow lied about it."

"And you believe him over her? I mean, isn't that a little insane?"

"At first, I thought so. But now that I know more about Willow, I tend to believe Spike. Plus, I know he wouldn't lie to me. I trust him." She said sincerely.

"But he is chipless. He can hurt you. Or me. Or anyone." Xander told her.

"I know. He won't. Don't you think if he wanted to hurt us, we'd be dead already? Plus, why would he be helping us save Willow?" Buffy asked pointedly.

"I was wondering that actually. I kinda thought he'd be all `Yay! Evil Willow! My kind of girl.' Why is he helping us?"

"Because." Buffy shrugged.

"Because why? Because he wants to make sure he can still get his daily dose of Buffy lovin'?" Xander asked sarcastically.

"No. Willow screwed with his chip-." Buffy started, but Xander cut her off.

"I bet he was real upset about that." He said sarcastically.

"Look, he doesn't care about that. And he's helping because she messed up our lives. His, mine, yours, everyone. Plus, I think he kinda liked Willow." She added softly.

"I bet. He tried to eat her a couple of times." Xander said sarcastically.

"Well, that just means he thought she'd taste good. That's a sign of affection." Buffy said with a hopeful smile.

"Good point. He doesn't like me and he wouldn't eat me. I tried to tell him I was moist and delicious, but he wouldn't budge. We argued over that once." Xander said thoughtfully.

Buffy looked at him strangely and shook her head.

"Huh?"

Xander looked at her and shook his head quickly.

"Okay, that sounded a lot less sexual and disgusting in my head. Just ignore me. It's the panic talking." He said laughing nervously.

"Okay." She said, not even wanting to know what he was talking about.

Finally they pulled up in front of Buffy's house. She leaned over and gave Xander a hug.

"We'll take care of this." She said softly.

"Yeah. We will."

She got out of the car and went inside the house. As he drove away, Willow watched from her window. Something was off. Something didn't feel right. Buffy had said she was patrolling, and Willow assumed she was sneaking off with Spike. Now she shows up in the middle of the night with Xander? This wasn't good at all. Something was up.

She needed some time to think. So far almost none of the spells she'd done had turned out correctly. Nothing was happening like she envisioned. She was starting to feel nervous and edgy and most of all, disappointed.

She had planned to resume her spell about Spike. She wanted to make him evil again so that Buffy would have to kill him once and for all. But now, she wanted to wait. She wanted to see what was going on. She had a strong feeling, that she was not going to like it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next evening, Buffy and Xander snuck to Spike's crypt to meet up and discuss their plans. Xander had brought some books from the magic shop. They needed to try and cover all of their bases before they took whatever action it was they were going take.

They all sat in Spike's downstairs area with books spread out. Buffy and Spike were on the bed, and Xander was on the couch.

"Here's something maybe." Xander spoke up.

Buffy and Spike looked over at him.

"What is it?" Buffy asked.

"Well, it's a spell that strips a witch of all her powers." He said hopefully.

"That sounds good. If we destroy the amulet, and Willow's still a little nutty, we can just take her powers away." Buffy said hopefully.

Spike looked skeptical and went over to pick up the book. He studied the passage and shook his head.

"No. This is no good. It won't work." He said closing the book.

"What do you mean it won't work? It sounds workable." Xander said defensively.

"Yeah, it does." Buffy agreed.

"No. I said it won't work. Keep looking." Spike said firmly.

Xander got up and faced Spike with irritation.

"Okay, who put you in charge? Buffy and I think it's a good plan. So you're outvoted, pal." He said putting his hands on his hips.

Spike tossed the book onto the table and sighed loudly. He looked at Xander.

"It won't work because not only does it strip a witch of her power, but it completely voids all of the spells that the witch has performed." Spike explained exasperated.

"So? That's good, right? That means that all of the crappy things Willow's done, will just disappear. There's no bad there." Xander protested.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Sherlock? It voids ALL the spells. Not just the ones we don't like." Spike said with irritation.

Xander looked clueless for a moment and then he looked at Buffy. His face softened and he hung his head down.

"If we undo her spells, Buffy's gone." Xander said softly.

"Exactly." Spike said a regretful sigh.

Buffy was silent for awhile and then she looked up.

"If it will help Willow…If it's the only way to save her…I think we should do it." She said quietly.

Xander and Spike both turned their heads sharply to look at Buffy.

"What?" Spike asked incredulously.

"Buff, you don't mean that." Xander said shaking his head.

Buffy stood up and faced them both.

"Guys, look. I'm not supposed to be here. I was dead. I am supposed to be dead. And part of me feels like its almost my fault that all of this happened. I mean, it was because of me that Willow started getting crazy. Her bringing me back was like the catalyst. Maybe it's someone's way of telling us how wrong this is. My being here…It's wrong." She told them softly.

"Stop talking like that. This is in no way your fault. I can't believe you are even considering sending yourself back to Hell just to `make things right'. Buffy, it's insane. We'll find another way." Xander said forcefully.

Spike said nothing, even though his heart was breaking inside. He wanted to grab her and shake her and tell her that if she left him again, he would die. But he also knew where she'd been and how she felt. He didn't know what to say, so he just lowered his head.

Buffy was silent as well. She looked at Spike and then over at Xander. She lowered her head.

"Xander, I wasn't in Hell." She said softly.

"Well, it was `Hell-like'. A demon demension. Same difference. Either way, you aren't going back." Xander said firmly.

"No, Xander. I wasn't in a demon demension, or Hell, or whatever you want to call it. I was at peace. I was happy. I was in Heaven." She said looking at him sadly.

Spike felt his heart breaking again as he heard her admit to her friend the one secret she swore she'd never tell. He knew it was tearing her up inside.

Xander looked at Buffy with shock and sadness. It took a moment for words to form on his lips. Finally he spoke.

"What? You were in Heaven? You mean, you weren't suffering eternal torment?" He asked hoarsely.

"No. I was good."

"Oh my god…You mean we…I mean, we took you out of Heaven and brought you back here? Buff…Why didn't you tell us? We thought we'd saved you…Oh god…" Xander said with tears forming in his eyes.

Buffy walked over to him and took his hands. She looked into his eyes.

"I know. I know you guys thought you'd saved me. I-I just couldn't tell you the truth. I didn't want you to know." She explained quietly.

Xander shook his head sadly.

"She said you were suffering. I mean, I told her we should just leave you alone, but she said it would be wrong to leave you there…She said you were in pain."

"I know. And I think that maybe she did believe that. She probably still does. But it's not the truth. And if I have to go back where I was to save Willow, then I'm okay with that." She said softly.

"We'll find another way, Buffy." Spike said, unable to keep silent.

He just couldn't bear to hear her talking about leaving again. He knew she was happier there, but before this whole mess with Willow started, she had been happy here again too. He didn't want to lose her. Not now. Not ever. But he knew that day would come again eventually. He just wanted it to be a long time from now.

She looked over at him and smiled sadly.

"Let's just keep looking, okay? I'm sure that there has to be something else." He told her.

"Okay. Let's get back to the books." She sighed, eager to just move away from this conversation.

Xander nodded his head in agreement and sat back down. He was still numb with shock and remorse at what they had done to her. He had believed Willow when she said it was for the best. He had trusted her. Now he understood why Buffy had been so distant and sad.

He understood now, why she didn't turn to them. They were the enemy. They were the ones who'd ripped her, not out of torment, but peace. He felt sick with guilt over the whole thing. He tried to push it away and just concentrate on finding a way out of this mess that he'd helped to create.

About and hour later they had a stack of notes piled up. They had all compiled possible spells and information that might help them with this task. None of them were practiced with magic or spells, but they knew that if they were going to stand a chance, they needed to fight magic with magic.

"Okay. I think we've got everything we need. The first order of business is to get the amulet and destroy it. That's the only way we even stand a chance. Once that's gone, then we'll know what we're dealing with." Spike said to them.

"So what's the plan? How do we get the amulet?" Xander asked.

"Well, that's where you come in. We need you to get her out of the house. Take her to a movie or something. Then Buffy and I will work our mojo on that barrier spell." Spike explained.

"Okay. When?" Xander asked.

"Tomorrow night. Let's just get it done." Buffy said.

"Agreed." Spike nodded his head.

Buffy and Xander gathered all the books up and got ready to leave. Buffy went over to Spike and kissed him softly. He looked at her with sad eyes. He was still thinking about her earlier admission that she didn't mind if she had to die again to save Willow.

"I don't want to lose you, Buffy." He said softly.

"I know."

"We'll handle this. It will all work out."

"Yeah."

"I love you." He said quietly.

"I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow." She said kissing him again.

She turned around and walked out with Xander. They made their way to his car silently. They climbed inside and took off. Xander looked over at Buffy.

"You must hate me. All of us."

"No. I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone."

"But what we did? It was awful. It was so far beyond wrong, that I can't even comprehend it. I'm so sorry, Buffy." He said remorsefully.

"I know. Look Xander, I'm okay. It's been rough sometimes, but I'm alright. And just because I'm okay to go back, it doesn't mean I want to." She assured him.

"But don't you? I mean, I know I probably would."

She looked out the window and sighed.

"Yeah. I do want to go back. Eventually. But I just got used to this whole not being dead thing. I'm not ready to go back yet." She said with a small smile.

"I know it sounds selfish and all, but I don't want you to go back yet either." He admitted with a smile.

"Well, then it's settled. I guess everyone is stuck with me." She smiled at him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next night, Xander asked Willow to go to dinner and a movie with him. She had seemed delighted that he wanted to spend the evening with her. Xander was relieved that she seemed so much like the Willow he knew and loved. For a moment, he was beginning to doubt the whole thing. But he tried to keep things in perspective.

Buffy and Spike hurried towards her house with the spell and a bag of ingredients.

"Come on. Hurry up. The Magic Box closes in an hour and Tara will be coming home." Buffy said grabbing Spike's arm.

"I'm hurrying. I'm the one lugging this huge bag with me. It slows me down." He complained.

"Poor Spike." She teased him.

They made it to her house and she rushed up the steps. She unlocked the door and rushed inside. Spike rushed in behind her and bounced off the invisible barrier. He flew back and landed in heap on the front porch.

"Uh, Love? I need a little help." He called out to Buffy, who had already disappeared into the house.

"What? Is the bag too heavy for you?" She called out sarcastically, as she walked back over to the door.

"No." He said rolling his eyes.

"What are you doing down there? Now isn't a good time to take a break." She said, noticing him sitting on her porch.

"Uh, Pet? Willow apparently changed the locks again. I had a little problem with the re-entry."

"Oh. Oops. I forgot. Come in Spike." She said quickly.

He stood up and brushed himself off. He shook his head and followed her into the house. They made their way up the stairs. Spike looked at her.

"So, you had her lock me out again?" He asked.

Buffy didn't look at him.

"Yeah. I mean, I thought you were all scary again." She said softly.

"Right. It's okay. I mean, I would've done the same thing if I were you, I suppose."

"Let's talk about this later. Right now, we need to get this spell going." She said hurrying into Willow and Tara's room.

They walked over to the nightstand and Buffy pulled open the drawer. Inside sat the small leather pouch. Buffy attempted to reach for it, and her hand bounced off the barrier.

"See?" She said indicating the barrier.

"Yeah. Okay, let's get it down."

They pulled out the necessary ingredients and set everything up. Once they were all ready, Spike took out the spell. He took a deep, unnecessary breath and looked at Buffy.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. Work your magic." She said with a smirk.

"Cute." He said, rolling his eyes.

He sighed and began to recite the spell. Buffy watched him anxiously as he recited the Latin words that made no sense to her. Finally, he concluded the spell and looked over at Buffy.

"Let's see what your $300 bought us." He said to her.

He reached his hand down and the barrier was gone. He smiled. Then he pulled the pouch out and held it up.

"We did it! Oh my god! We did it!" Buffy exclaimed happily.

Spike didn't share her enthusiasm. His smile faded and he looked over at her. He shook his head.

"It's empty. There's nothing in the pouch." He said opening it and showing it to her.

"What?"

"It's not in here." He said with frustration.

"Damn it! Where is it?" Buffy said irritated.

"Are you guys looking for this?" Willow asked as she stood in the doorway.

Buffy and Spike reeled around quickly. Abject horror was written all over their faces. Willow stood there dangling her amulet in front of them.

"Willow!" Buffy said quickly. Then her expression fell. "Where's Xander?"

"Oh, he got sleepy." Willow shrugged.

"Sleepy? What did you do to him?" Buffy asked worriedly.

Willow ignored Buffy's question and walked over to them. Buffy reached over and clutched Spike's arm tightly. He moved closer to her.

"You guys didn't really think I'd leave this here, did you? How stupid do you think I am?"

"Willow, don't do this." Buffy pleaded.

"You guys were really good. I mean, I actually bought it. I thought we were still friends. But you and Xander, you played me. All of your niceness was just a game, wasn't it?" Willow said angrily.

"Willow, stop this. We are your friends. This isn't a game. Just give me the amulet." Buffy said holding out her hand.

"It isn't a game? Well, then let's make it a game." Willow said turning away from Buffy and walking over to the window.

"You don't want to hurt us. You don't want to hurt anyone." Buffy pleaded with her.

Willow seemed to be off in her own little world. She wasn't paying attention to Buffy at all. She put the amulet around her neck.

"Let's see…What would be a fun game?" Willow pondered. Then she looked at them and smiled. "I know. Let's call this one `see how fast the vampire burns'." She said wickedly.

"What?" Buffy asked horrified.

Spike stepped back and tried to contain his nervousness.

"What?" He asked trying to keep his cool.

"Oh, it's just a little something I've been working on for awhile now. I like to call it the `little ball of sunshine'." She said thrusting her hands into the air.

A large globe of light shot from her fingertips, engulfing the entire room with sunlight.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *