Chapter 22. Inner Monologue

A/N: Luna - Love your comments as always. Thank you for pointing out that it is drastic for them to jump right back into it so quickly. I totally agree - that's why I did it. I am establishing Buffy and Spike as two people who despite all their misgivings (her's in particular) can't seem to keep their hands off of each other. I'm going to be drawing a lot of parallels to Season 6 in the first half of the story. My goal with this fic was to take what Joss set out for us in BTVS and twist it into my own little world. Don't worry, there will be relationship development in addition to the smut (this, as well as character development, are extremely important to me - I don't like having smut for the sake of smut, it needs to mean something to the story - although, I will admit, the bus scene was a last minute decision to take a break from the angst - but that doesn't mean there won't be big reactions to it)- but this is the way I'm going with it first. No hearts and flowers too soon for our duo. Keep the questions coming and if you leave your e-mail addy on the review I can respond that way.
Thanks again for the reviews and the support in the poll!
Oh yeah - Lady Anne, Flames and Silver rock!

"Wake up man," Spike heard a voice say. A hand grabbed his shoulder and roughly shook him from his slumber. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Conner standing above him. Turning to his left he found the space next to him completely empty, like the rest of the bus.

"Quite a trip, huh?" the young man asked knowingly, raising his eyebrows at his counselor.

"What?" Spike was suddenly awake. 'Crap . . .maybe we weren't as discreet as we thought.' He bolted upright and looked at his young charge with wide eyes.

Conner laughed at his reaction. "Don't worry man. Your secret's safe with me."

Spike slumped back into his seat. 'Great counseling Spike . . .not even a week into the gig and you're already caught fornicating in public. Not to mention, that your partner in crime, is nowhere to be found.'

Conner pulled Spike to his feet. "I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who noticed something was goin' on with you two. Dawn wanted to pop back and talk to you guys about something or other, but I kept her otherwise occupied."

"I guess I owe you one," Spike breathed.

Conner shook his head as they made their way to the front of the bus. "No way. I owe you and Buffy big time for helping me out with Dawn." The teenager turned to face his counselor. "You did hear me say that I was keeping her occupied, right?"

Spike nodded slowly, the boy's meaning finally hitting him. "Good kisser that one?"

Conner blushed and kept walking. "A gentleman never tells."

Spike exited the bus and looked out into the empty night. Buffy and her girls must have already headed to Revello. 'Why didn't she wake me?' A look of dread washed over the young man's features. 'That stupid bint did it again.' He clenched his jaw tightly, feeling his suppressed rage come boiling to the surface. 'I am such a fool.' A calming voice sounded in his head. 'Maybe it's not what you think. Just give her a chance to explain before you blow another gasket.' Spike turned to walk toward Buffy's cabin, and then quickly changed his mind. His confusion and insecurity would probably lead to more name-calling and tears before she could get a word in edge-wise. He sighed and made his way back to The Crypt, leaving the discussion for the morning.

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DAY 8

Buffy woke up the next morning with only five minutes to get ready for breakfast. She was up all night tossing and turning, and didn't fall asleep until almost 6 a.m. She couldn't turn her mind off. Thoughts of Spike, Angel, Willow, and all the crazy things that had happened over the last few days, took control of her brain, keeping her awake.

Buffy walked over to the mirror and laughed at her appearance. Her make-up was smudged all over her face; black mascara forming raccoon-like circles around her eyes. The braids she wore the night before were now frizzy, with little hairs sticking out from her head at odd angles. She undid the elastics bands and let her hair fall free in crinkly waves. She then placed a multi-colored bandana over her head and smiled happily at her reflection. 'Not bad.'

Buffy decided that her sushi pajamas would be fine for breakfast. She walked over to her closet and selected her pink, fuzzy slippers. Tossing the clothes off her chair, she took a seat at her desk. As she began sliding her feet into the slippers, she took note of the shirt now lying on the floor in a crumpled heap. She leaned over to pick up the 'Sk8ter Girl' top and held it to her face. She took a deep breath, inhaling Spike's distinct scent that covered the material. She placed the tee over the back of her chair and went back to her dresser to retrieve her toothbrush and face wash. "Who are you?" she asked the tired face before her. 'A guy basically treats you like his whore, and what do you do? You hump his hand on a bus full of kids. Real nice Buffy.'

'But he seemed so sincere and sweet the entire night - was it just an act?' Buffy shook her head at her reflection. 'Does it really matter? It doesn't change the fact that he's still going to be on a plane to Europe come August.'

She walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, and took her place in front of one of the sinks. Brushing her teeth roughly her thoughts continued. 'If he's really just an asshole then it will be easy to kick him to the curb at the end of the summer. That way, I can keep makin' with the smoochies and yummy touchy-feelies without having to worry about falling for him in the process.' A tiny voice muttered in her head the words: 'Too Late.' She ignored the intrusion, and spit a large glob of toothpaste into the sink and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. 'But, am I the type who can base a relationship on sex and not get emotionally involved?' Remembering the way she sobbed over Parker, she found her answer. 'Not likely.'

She splashed her face with cold water and began rubbing the white cream into her skin. 'Maybe the bus ride was the last of it. Maybe he's finally done with me and I won't have to worry about making any decisions.' She scrubbed her face, thinking about that possibility. 'That would probably be the best-case scenario. Let him decide that it's finished, so I can move on.' She patted her face dry with her washcloth and smiled at her now clean appearance. As wonderful as the idea sounded in her head, she secretly hoped that it wasn't over between them. Even though he probably was just using her, she couldn't stop thinking about him. 'What is wrong with me?!'

She walked back to her room, signaling to the girls that it was almost time to head to the cafeteria. As she placed her toiletries back in the proper drawer, she was hit with a sudden realization. She hadn't seen Anya since she left for her day off the previous morning. 'I don't think she could have snuck-in without my seeing her. 'Plus, her bed is still made exactly like it was last night. Buffy furrowed her eyebrows, worrying about her co-counselor.' Giving it a second thought, she decided it was no big deal. 'She's probably just getting a few final orgasms in before she has to get back to work.' Buffy sighed and flicked off the light switch. 'Lucky girl can enjoy pleasure without goin' all schizo. Some people have all the luck.'

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Cordelia's mouth dropped open when she saw Xander take a seat at her table. 'He looks so cute in the morning; his poofy hair sticking up all over the place.' "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"

Xander rolled his eyes at the young woman. 'That's my Cordy.' "Don't worry, my mission has a purpose, besides causing you great pain," he said, stealing a bite of her blueberry muffin.

'Xander lips. . .touching where mine just were. Why aren't we kissing now?' She quickly snatched it from his grasp and lifted her eyebrows at Xander. "So . . .?"

He sighed and turned his chair to face Cordy. 'She is impossible. But, that's what I love about her.' "I need to talk to you about the day after tomorrow." Off her blank stare, he continued. "Day off. . .remember?"

Cordelia was really happy that he was showing interest, especially after the bitch she had been the last few days. 'Don't let him know you're too eager to spend the day with him.' She shrugged. "What about it?"

'Hello . . .no kids. Some potential private time. That's right . . .you don't want anything to do with me.' He cut to the chase. "We're meeting at 5 o'clock in front of the main building to make arrangements. Discuss where we want to go. Figure out who's going to drive. That sort of thing. You in?"

'Of course dummy!' Cordy sighed, simulating disinterest. "I'll see if I can make it."

'Yes!' Xander cleared his throat, and snatched the muffin from her plate. "You do that." He scooted his chair back and walked back to his own table, not seeing the brilliant smile that formed on Cordy's face.

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Buffy filled her coffee cup to the brim. She needed as much caffeine as possible to help her make it through the day, especially after only getting about 2 full hours of sleep the night before.

"Hey," a quiet voice said from behind her.

She turned around and saw Spike standing there, looking very tired. 'Shit, I'm not ready for this.' Giving him a nervous smile, she moved out of his way to allow him to pour himself a cup of coffee. Avoiding his gaze, she reached for the half and half and began mixing her drink. 'What do I do? He expects me to say something. Don't leave me? No, definitely not a good conversation topic.' Thinking on her toes she grabbed a little blue packet from the basket on the counter. "Sugar?"

Spike shook his head at the offer. 'This is going well.' He continued pouring his coffee. 'Do I tell her that the bus ride was surprising and exciting and mind-blowing? Do I apologize again for my mouth.? Do I yell at her for running off? Do I let her know that I want to try again; make sure we get it right this time?' "Have fun last night?" Off her wide eyes he added, "Skating . . .I mean."

Buffy let out the breath she was holding. "Yeah. My muscles are kinda achy though. Kinda wore myself out there towards the end of the night." Spike quirked an eyebrow at her. She gasped at her choice of words. 'Nice going Buffy. Way to make this even MORE uncomfortable.' "I mean with the limbo and skate races."

Spike picked up his mug and held it between his hands. "Yah, that would do it. I'm a bit knackered myself." He took a long sip of his coffee, and spoke softly. "I guess we need to learn how to pace ourselves." He gave her a pointed look. 'I want so much more than that. I want the kissing, the cuddling, the sex, the tears, the long-talks, the banter. I want it all.'

Buffy nodded slowly. "Pacing, yeah, definitely a good thing." 'So he doesn't want to screw around again? Or, he does, and wants to do it slow this time? I'm so confused.' There was a long awkward silence.

"So . . ." they said at the same time, causing them both to laugh nervously. Buffy indicated that Spike could speak first.

"I'll see you at five then?" Spike asked, looking deeply in her eyes, searching them for an answer to everything that had happened over the last few days.

Buffy felt her heart race. 'He wants to see me? At five? What do I say? Should I go?' The only thing she could spit out were a long string of unintelligible syllables that ended with, "Huh?"

He clarified the question. "We're meeting about our day off . . .you, me, Xander, Oz, Cordy, and Willow. Didn't Red tell you?"

'I am such an idiot. How could I forget that our day off is the day after tomorrow? Stupid Buffy. Why would he want to set up a secret rendezvous during the day? Then again, it didn't stop us last night when all the campers were there.' She laughed over-zealously, trying to cover her surprise. "Of course. Mornings and Buffy are un-mixy things." Spike gave her a small grin, and she responded with one of her own. 'That gives me only about eight hours to prepare for our next conversation. I can just imagine that one. 'I can't wait to spend an entire day with you, Spike.' Or - 'No hanky-panky on the day-off, Spike. After all, the kids won't be there to catch us; so what would be the point?' "Well, I better get back," she said indicating her table. Before Spike could respond she was gone.

He took down another mug and poured himself a second cup. 'Smooth man. Real smooth. Way to let her know how you feel.'

Chapter 23: Dodging the Issue

Revello - 7 p.m.

"So where were you?"

Buffy looked up from her magazine to see Willow standing in her doorway. "Shit, I forgot. I'm so sorry," the blonde lied. She had been avoiding Spike since their awkward morning chat and couldn't face him. "What's the plan?"

Willow entered the room, closing the door behind her. "Hey, Anya," she said, giving the other girl a small wave.

Anya acknowledged the redhead and went back to the latest issue of Glamour. The article about hair dye, and its ability to makeover the soul, was riveting.

Willow plopped down next to Buffy on the bed. "We decided to go to that new amusement park that just opened. It's only a few hours away. . .should be fun."

Buffy smiled, she loved roller-coasters, they gave her such a pure adrenaline rush. "Cool. Who's driving?"

"We're going to leave at about 10 a.m. Oz has this really cool van that we can all squeeze into."

'More time with Spike in large moving vehicles? That could be interesting.' Buffy shook the thought out of her head. "Good deal."

"Spike seemed a little out of it. He didn't talk much, which is weird." Willow said, trying to feel out her friend's mood.

Buffy sighed and sat up on the bed. "Really? He usually doesn't shut up. Then again, I never know what he's thinking, so the words usually don't make much of a difference."

"Hmmm. . ." Willow tried to appear disinterested, and picked up Buffy's discarded magazine.

"Well, unless he's being a complete ass, throwing insults around. Then the words can be pretty meaningful." Buffy leaned against the wall behind her bed. "Could he be more annoying?!"

Willow looked at her friend, and began leafing through the June issue of Cosmo. "I'm so not getting into this conversation with you."

Buffy's mouth dropped open. "Please, I really need your help this time," she whined.

Willow slammed the magazine closed, and whacked Buffy on the arm playfully. "No way. The last time I tried to help you went all 'Ahhh,'" she accentuated the little yell by waving her arms around frantically, "and told me to stop meddling."

Buffy grabbed Willow's hands and gave her the big puppy dog eyes she knew her friend couldn't resist. "Please . . .," she pouted. "I need you. So-" she slapped Willow's knee, "-meddle away."

"Fine," she groaned, throwing the magazine to the floor. "Are you sure you want to do this in front of . . ." she pointed at Anya quickly, trying not to let the other counselor see the action.

"Sitting right here," Anya said. "Besides, I don't really care. Go right ahead and talk about sex without me."

"I didn't say anything about sex!" Buffy shrieked. Although, she really shouldn't be all that surprised, considering Anya ALWAYS had sex on the brain.

Anya sighed and continued reading her magazine. "Whatever. I just think that you and Spike should face facts. You're both horny little bunnies, who want to do it every chance you can get. Kind of like that song by Nine Inch Nails." Willow and Buffy looked back and forth at each other, and shrugged. "The one where they want to fuck like animals?" Anya stood up and moved over to the two girls. "He brings you closer to god, right?" she asked, taking a seat on the floor.

Buffy blushed, and looked away from Anya's prying eyes.

"Fine. Don't admit it." Anya threw up her hands. "My point is-"

"Finally," Buffy muttered under her breath.

"-there's more to a relationship than just sex. Even I know that. You two don't want to deal with the implications of your actions. Or you're just too scared to figure out what this thing with you really is. So, you skirt the issue, never really talk, and, instead, work out your confusion with loud shouting matches and lots and lots of sex."

Willow and Buffy stared incredulously at the intuitive woman. "She does have a point, Buffy."

"There hasn't been all that much sex." Buffy said defensively. "Just that ONE time."

"You know what I mean." Anya rolled her eyes at her co-counselor. "The sooner you realize that you can enjoy a good orgasm, while still developing a real connection with someone, the happier you'll be." At that, she stood up and went back to her own bed.

Willow eyed her friend curiously. "Something happened again, didn't it? I mean, besides the initial morning-after craziness."

Buffy placed her pillow in her lap and buried her face in it. "I don't want to answer that," she said through the material.

"It doesn't matter." Willow rubbed her friend's back tenderly. "But, I think you should know that Spike really cares about you. He only said those things because he saw you with Angel."

"Really?" Buffy asked, turning her face towards the redhead.

"He was really hurt, Buffy." Willow said softly.

Buffy sighed, and leaned back against the wall. "Yeah, well he hurt me too." She squeezed her eyes closed tightly. This was a big mess. "Why do people have to hurt each other all the time?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," she responded, placing her hand on Buffy's knee. "Maybe we're all masochists. Or maybe love really can't exist without the pain."

Buffy dropped her head into her hands. "Love." She chuckled at the thought. "I don't even know what that is."

"You don't have to yet, sweetie." Willow lifted Buffy's chin in order to look in her eyes. "There's still a long time left of this camp season. Don't screw it up because you're confused. It would be weird if you weren't. But, at the same time, you can't push people away if they get too close, cause you're so afraid of being left alone. Cuz, pretty soon . . .you will be."

Buffy nodded, understanding her friend's words. "Would it be wrong of me to wait a little longer before I make up my mind? So, I don't rush into anything and make a huge mistake?"

"Of course that's ok." Willow said with a small smile. "But don't wait too long. I know a lot of female staff members who are dying to get their claws into a certain Billy Idol wannabe." She paused, and said the next part very slowly, making sure Buffy understood perfectly. "Specifically, a certain, very pale, vampiress, with a cockney accent." 'That should do it.'

"I'll be quick."

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DAY 9 - Midnight

Buffy avoided Spike for the next day and a half. She still didn't know what to do, or what to say, and she was really afraid of screwing everything up. Well, screwing it up more than it had already been screwed. She decided to take use the night before her day off to relax and take a load off in her room. Angel had wanted to get together, but she REALLY didn't want to go there.

She curled up in her bed and picked up her favorite book, Blast From the Past. She was getting to a really good part; where the two protagonists have wild sex in the back of a strip club, in front of lots of mirrors. 'I really need to try that.'

Buffy heard a loud laugh from the hallway. "I am so not in the mood for this," she muttered, marking her spot in the book. She stood up from the bed and made her way out of the room. The hallway was empty, so she decided to listen in at each door to find the cause of the disturbance. All the rooms were silent, until she got to Dawn and Janice's room. She could hear faint giggles from behind the door, as well as a distinctly male voice. 'I really don't want to deal with this tonight; considering it is technically my day off.'

Buffy swung open the door and found Conner lying next to Dawn on her bed. "Out."

Not wanting to start anything with the angry counselor, Conner shot out of the bed and ran from the cabin. Buffy folded her arms and gave Dawn a disapproving look. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing." Dawn shrugged. "We were just talking."

Buffy looked further into the room and saw that the other three girls were sound asleep. She motioned for Dawn to join her in the hallway, and shut the door behind them. "I really don't care. He's not supposed to be in here."

"But you said. . ." Dawn protested.

"I also said NOT to argue with me if I decide to break up your make-out sessions."

"Whatever," Dawn crossed her arms under her chest. "I guess the rules don't apply to you then."

"What?"

"Come on Buffy. We've all seen Angel wandering around the hallway; coming to meet you for a late night rendezvous." Dawn paused, and decided to go for the big guns. "Or is it Spike tonight?"

Buffy's face flushed red with anger. "That's none of your business. Now go back to your room." She pointed towards the door. The teenager rolled her eyes and turned around towards the back door of Revello. Buffy grabbed her shoulder, halting her movements. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Don't touch me," Dawn spat, and ran towards the door. Buffy chased her out and watched in horror as the girl stumbled down the steps.

"Dawn!" she yelled running to the girl's side. "Are you ok?" Buffy tried to help her stand.

"Ow!" Dawn yelped. Her arm was killing her; it had broken her fall, and was now cradled in her good hand.

Buffy reached for her young charge. "Let me see it."

"No . . . it hurts."

Thinking fast, Buffy told Dawn to sit down. "I'll be right back, ok?" She hurried back to her room and searched her desk for the On-Grounds list. 'Shit, I barely know any of these people. Better start making new friends Buffy.' She scanned the list of numbers and found the one she wanted.

Spike inserted the final quarter into the dryer. He was so proud that he figured out how to work the blasted machine. His clothes were getting ripe, and laundry really needed to be done. He heard his staff cell go off and wondered who would be calling him this late. "Hello?"

"Spike, it's Buffy," the voice on the other end said.

He froze. Why was she calling him? They hadn't spoken in almost two days . . .why now? "Yah?" He listened as she explained what happened. "Calm down. I'll be right there."

In no time flat he was at Dawn's side. "You alright, nibblet?" he asked, moving her hair from her face.

"It's my arm. I think it's broken."

He silently asked her permission as he felt her arm for any breaks. With a sigh, he went over to Buffy, who was standing in the doorway. "I don't think it's broken. Probably just a bad sprain."

Buffy's lower lip quivered. "What do we do?" 'This is all my fault. If I didn't over-react, she would be fine.'

Spike eyed Buffy's shivering form. 'She's really freaked out.' Still upset over her behavior he answered sharply. "Let's get her over to the nurse." He softened a little when he saw her eyes begin to tear. "Everything's going to be fine."

Buffy nodded and followed Spike over to where Dawn was sitting. She watched in awe as he lifted her in his arms and led the way to the health center.

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About an hour later, Buffy and Spike left the nurse's office. He was right; it was a sprain. The nurse gave the teenager a sling and told her she could spend the night in the infirmary. Dawn protested, until she discovered that the rooms had TV.

Buffy looked over at Spike and spoke softly. "Thanks for your help. You handled yourself really well back there."

He nodded, without responding.

She nervously continued. "Not like me. I completely freaked out." She laughed at herself. 'Four years as a counselor and I let something like a sprain get to me.'

The silence was getting to be uncomfortable, so she tried again. "It was really sweet how you told her about your little sister; and the time she fell off her bike and skinned her knee."

Spike kept walking, really not wanting to deal with any of Buffy's small talk.

"And that joke about the little girl in the coal-bin really got her laughing. You made her forget all about the pain." Buffy gave up, he obviously didn't want to talk to her. 'Can I blame him?'

The rest of the journey was spent in silence. When they reached Revello, Buffy turned around to thank him again. She was shocked to see him walking away, without out a simple goodbye or even a polite 'your welcome.'

Chapter 24: All Washed Up

DAY 9 - continued

Spike walked briskly into the laundry area and resumed folding his dry clothes on the table in the center of the room. He was desperate to block out the last few hours as best as he could; trying to forget how they had worked so well together, the feeling of being alone again after the agony of the last few days. A loud slam pulled him from his thoughts, causing him to stop his folding and turn towards the source of the interruption.

"What right do you have giving ME the silent treatment?" demanded a furious little blonde from across the room.

He stared at her blankly for a moment and then squatted next to the dryer, pulled out a few more items, and placed them on the table for folding.

Buffy was fuming. 'How dare he ignore me!?' She took a few steps forward and set her hands on the wood's surface, positioned directly across from him on the long end of the large rectangular table. "Especially after those asinine things you said to me."

Spike groaned and looked at the ceiling in exasperation and muttered under his breath, "Bloody hell." He finally lowered his eyes to the girl in front of him and spoke slowly, but sternly. "Buffy . . . I tried to apologize for that but you wouldn't let me." He paused momentarily, finally allowing her behavior over the last week to consume him with anger. "You would only let me bring you off on a bus, surrounded by campers." Buffy didn't flinch at his remark, which only made Spike more irate. "Besides, if you hadn't run off to snog Angel - after we were apart for less than 12 hours, mind you - I never would have shot off my mouth like that."

Buffy stalked around the table so that she stood only three feet away from Spike. She put her hands on her hips and shot daggers at him from her flickering green eyes. "So it's my fault now that you basically called me a slut and treated me like a whore?"

Spike snickered and reached past her to get more clothes from the dryer. "If the shoe fits, luv."

Buffy backed up, closing the dryer door as she moved, and placed her body directly between him and the machine - leaning her elbows on the slightly warm surface. "Well, I didn't hear you complaining when you had me pressed against the tree, crying out my name in ecstasy."

"If I recall, you were the one who mounted me luv," he responded with a smirk. "Not to mention that while hiding under my duster you basically forced my fingers," he gave her a small wave, "between your hot, slick lips."

Buffy struggled not to look at his luscious mouth and instead stared directly into his eyes. 'Also, a mistake,' she realized as her heartbeat quickened. She gulped and hopped up on the dryer, letting her legs dangle over the edge. "Well, you served your purpose," she said icily.

Spike couldn't contain his anger any longer. He moved slowly towards her and placed his hands beside Buffy's body, effectively trapping her on the machine. He took another step forward and positioned himself between her spread legs. Buffy gasped at his closeness, and tried to ignore the heat that was rising in her body.

He chuckled deep in his throat, noting her response. Leaning in closer, he whispered huskily in her ear, "And now you lie awake every night, thinking about the way we moved together. The feel of me inside you."

Buffy's breathing was becoming uneven, and her eyes drifted closed, reacting to his hot breath.

He moved his hands to her hips, pulling her forward to rest against him fully. "You crave me now more than ever."

Buffy snapped out of her haze and pushed him away from her. She jumped off the machine and spat in his face harshly, "You're bent!"

He laughed again and ran one finger lightly down her cheek, staring at her lips. "And it made you scream didn't it."

She grabbed his wrist, stopping his movements. "I hate you," she said, her voice steady and cold.

He wrestled his hand from her grasp and said sharply. "And I'm all you've . . ."

Without warning, Buffy was on him, crushing his lips in a bruising kiss. Spike responded to her immediately, invading her waiting mouth with his tongue. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against his body. She wriggled in his arms, tangling her hands in his soft hair. This kiss wasn't sweet and tender like so many of the others that came before it; this was angry, needy, and passionate.

Buffy pulled away, eyes glazed with lust and tore Spike's t-shirt from his jeans. She lifted the black material over his head in one swift motion, throwing the garment to the floor.

He watched her in amazement. He had never seen her like this before, and it made his blood boil.

She placed one hand behind his head and pulled him back to her, capturing his lips once more. Wrenching her lips away from his, she began to place hot, quick kisses along his jaw line. Spike's eyes rolled back as she began sucking his jugular greedily; nipping at the tender flesh. Her nails dug into his back, leaving deep gashes in their wake, causing him to hiss at the twinge of pain.

Spike smoothed his hands down Buffy's back and squeezed her ass roughly as he pulled her tightly against his throbbing erection. He turned them around and stumbled back to the dryer. She leaned into him and resumed kissing his mouth hungrily, her palms pressed firmly to his hard chest.

Spike broke off the kiss and gasped for air. He looked deeply into her flashing eyes and lifted her shirt over head, casting it to the floor. They were both panting, desperate for more contact. He dipped his head to her collarbone and placed rough open-mouth kisses to the area above her breasts.

Buffy held his head tightly to her as she moaned, grinding herself against him rhythmically.

He moved his mouth to cover her left breast and caught her nipple between his teeth. She let out a loud shriek, which only made him continue his harsh treatment of the lace-covered mound. He kissed his way over her cleavage and resumed his attack on her right breast.

Buffy tore his head from her chest and kissed him full on the mouth. She sucked on his lower lip, and bit it, causing a small dot of blood to appear.

Spike lifted the petite blonde in his arms and let her wrap her legs around his waist. He resumed thrusting his tongue into her mouth as he walked them towards the table in the center of the room and set her down on the wood surface. He watched with hooded eyes as she pushed his folded clothing to the floor - effectively clearing the table. She scooted back as he climbed on, crawling towards her with a predatory glint in his eyes.

Leaning back on her elbows, Buffy stared up at him as he kneeled between her spread legs, his arms on either side of her head. She lifted up slightly to kiss him again, only to have him duck away.

Spike quickly unhooked the front clasp of her bra, allowing her breasts to spring free. He suckled on each breast in turn, leaving angry red marks wherever his mouth touched. Buffy arched up, moaning loudly. He released her nipple from between his teeth, and began kissing down her stomach. He dipped his tongue in her small belly button, causing her upper body to jolt off the table momentarily.

Buffy trembled as he slid his hands roughly down her sides and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her pants. He locked his eyes to hers as he slowly slid the running pants, as well as her panties, down her tan legs. He crawled backwards on the table in order to remove her shoes and pants fully, before depositing them on the floor next to his discarded black t-shirt.

Buffy quaked, lying completely naked before her lover. She shook, not out of fear, but out of pure, uninhibited desire.

He took one of her ankles in his grasp and lifted her leg in the air. He placed kisses down her calf, and around behind her knee, causing her to pant and moan even more loudly. He nibbled along the inside of her thigh and finally positioned himself between her spread legs. Before beginning, he unzipped his jeans, allowing a little more breathing room for his throbbing cock.

Buffy knew where this was going. She had never been eaten out before, but her nerves about this particular sexual act had completely disappeared. The minute Spike entered the picture, a powerful sexual being had replaced the timid little girl she had once been.

Slowly, Spike licked her from bottom to top, causing her to lurch from the tabletop. He placed a firm hand to her lower stomach, stilling her movements. He flicked his tongue over her clit and pressed down on her stomach gently. Pushing his tongue between her folds, he lapped hungrily at the juices dripping from her hot sex.

Buffy thrashed on the table and lifted her knees to rest beside his head. The new angle tilted her pelvis up, allowing him to push his tongue inside her even more deeply, and he licked the inner walls at a feverish pace. He gripped her small hips and pulled her pelvis even closer to his face, so he was completely surrounded by Buffy's essence. He devoured every inch of her swollen sex, even taking time to nibble the outer lips. He laughed low in his chest as she let out a loud shriek and arched completely off the table. He squeezed her sides roughly and lifted his face from her body. "Look at me," he demanded sharply, when he saw that her eyes were closed.

Buffy's eyes snapped open and stared deeply into his piercing gaze. Slowly, he lowered his head back to his place between her thighs, never breaking eye contact. Buffy's chest heaved as she watched him blow a light stream of air directly onto her clitoris, letting out a low grunt at the sudden cool contact.

Spike removed his hands from her hips and placed one flat on her stomach and positioned the other at her entrance. Quickly, he pushed two fingers into her passage, while massaging his palm into her stomach. The combination was almost too much for Buffy, and just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, he sucked her tiny button of nerves into his mouth. The corners of his mouth curved into a smile when he saw her struggling to keep her eyes open, loud moans and gasps escaping her. He thrust his fingers in and out, and nibbled on the small bundle of flesh in his mouth.

Buffy couldn't take it anymore, and squeezed her eyes closed, feeling tears burning the corners. She moved her hands from her sides and curled them tightly in Spike's soft, blond locks, whimpering from his torture.

Spike watched her writhe and squeal as he added a third finger inside her. He pressed his tongue flat against her clit and shook his head rapidly.

The vibrations caused a fierce orgasm to rip through Buffy's body. She squeezed his head in her hands and lifted her pelvis from the table as the words: 'Oh God!' echoed through the empty laundry room. When she finally came down she heard him whisper, "God has nothing to do with this, pet," before he removed his fingers from her body and lapped at her juices again.

Buffy grasped Spike by the ears and pulled him roughly up her body. He growled low in his chest as she pushed his pants off his hips, using her feet to slide them down his legs. "I need you . . ." she said, gasping for air, "inside of me."

Spike kicked his shoes and pants to the floor and in one swift motion pushed his cock in her deeply. They grunted in unison as he filled her to the hilt. Waiting only seconds, he pulled out and thrust inside her roughly once again. Buffy locked her legs around his waist and grabbed his ass in her tiny hands, pulling him inside her more rapidly. Sounds of groaning, moaning, and panting, as well as the squeaks from the folding table, filled the room.

Spike collapsed his arms and moved his head to Buffy's shoulder as he pounded into her with abandon. She slid her hands up his firm, slick body and clung to him tightly by his shoulders. She squeezed her eyes closed as she rocked against him, trying to keep up with the speed of his thrusts. Resting her temple against his neck, she gulped in large amounts of air, feeling herself start the climb to another climax.

Tears filled Spike's eyes as he felt himself ready to erupt. He lifted himself back up onto his arms, his face fixed in a pained expression, eyes firmly closed. His thrusts elongated and seemed to move deeper, twisting his hips to stimulate her clit.

Buffy felt the head of his penis hit that one, elusive place deep inside of her and let out an ear-splitting scream, arching off the table as she clung to him for dear life. Spike followed moments behind, as he let out a load roar, spilling his semen deeply within her; his hips continued to make shallow thrusts until he was completely spent and after a few moments, Buffy let go of Spike and fell back to the table, her eyes still closed.

When he stopped shaking, Spike opened his eyes and looked at the girl below him. Her hair, now matted with sweat, was stuck to her forehead. He softly brushed the strands aside, and examined her sleepy face. Buffy opened her eyes, and found herself staring into Spike's soft blue ones. They gazed at each other, filled with wonder over what had just occurred.

Buffy let a shy smile form on her face, and was rewarded with a similar grin from the man above her.

Spike used the side of his thumbs to gently wipe away the tears that had slipped from her glassy eyes. Next, he traced the features of her face with one hand and Buffy sighed contentedly at the motion.

She recalled the last time he had done that. They'd been lying on his bed in The Crypt; sharing their deepest fears, hopes, and dreams. That was right before she left for L.A., and everything had gone to hell. Tears began rolling down her face as she thought of how twisted things had become. Spike murmured soft words of comfort and wiped the wetness from her face. As she nuzzled into his hand, he felt himself harden within her. Buffy placed a quick kiss to his palm and lifted her pelvis, indicating that she was ready to begin again.

Spike rotated his hips lazily, enjoying the feel of being buried inside the warm safe place. Buffy trembled beneath him as she felt him slowly remove his cock from inside her and push back in with ease. He started a nice, slow, languid pace - wanting this time to be gentle, and tender. With their desire and desperation satiated by their previous frantic lovemaking - or 'fucking,' which would more accurately describe the act - they could take their time this round. They stared deeply into each other's eyes as Spike lowered his mouth to Buffy's waiting lips.

A loud banging sound tore them from their sweet moment. "Are you done yet?" a whiny voice demanded.

Their eyes went wide as they finally realized exactly where they were, staring at each other, frozen in silence.

The voice continued, "Whoever's in there. . . can you please stop whatever it is you're doing?!" Buffy moved her hands to Spike's chest and gently nudged him. Reluctantly, he pulled his limp penis from her body - the scare had deflated any chance of maintaining his erection. As they sat up, the table creaked unhappily beneath them. "I put my clean clothes - including bras and underwear - on that table. . .so that's just. . .gross!"

Buffy hopped off the table and began pulling on her clothes as quickly as humanly possible.

Spike watched her sadly as she scurried around the room searching for missing items of clothing. 'She's freaking out . . .then again . . .why shouldn't she be? That was fucking intense.'

He pulled on his jeans and tugged his t-shirt over his head, and began picking up his strewn laundry from the floor. He picked up a small scrap of material and looked at it curiously.

"Have you seen my underwear?" Buffy asked, barely above a whisper.

Spike started to hand her the item in his hand, but he quickly tucked it in his back pocket. "No, sorry."

Since she was looking everywhere but at him, she didn't notice his little act of thievery. 'Calm down Buffy,' she thought to herself. She wasn't ready to think about what had just happened. 'You don't have to deal with this at this very second.' She gave Spike a weak smile, and shushed him before he could say a word. "Later . . .ok?" she asked, her eyes pleading with him to give her time to let what had just happened sink in.

He nodded and watched her run out the back door of the laundry room. He quickly fetched the rest of his clothes, tossed them in his laundry basket, and made his own escape.

On the other side of the door Cordelia tapped her foot impatiently. "Hello?" she asked. "Since, I can't hear anything, I'm assuming you're decent now." Hesitantly, she turned the doorknob and cracked the door open an inch. When she didn't see anything, she swung the door wide. Balancing her basket on her hip, she shuffled into the laundry area. The air smelled like a mix of sex, bleach, and detergent - not awful, but not all that pleasant either. She set her basket on the floor, and removed her bottle of detergent. She placed her hand on the table for extra leverage, and stood up straight. "Ewww!" she shrieked as she felt something sticky on her hand. She looked at the table and saw that it was covered in a slick layer of sweat. "That is so gross." She shuddered; at least it was only sweat. She didn't want to think about the other fluid she could have stuck her hand in. She took a dirty towel from her basket and wiped down the table. 'At least someone is getting some.'

tbc...

Chapter 26 : Apocalypse Now

Buffy threw on a pair of flannel PJ bottoms and a tank top and examined herself in the mirror. She couldn't remember a time when she'd looked so at peace. The day at the amusement park had been amazing; no campers, no worries, no fighting, no tears - just her, Spike, and her best friends running around like a bunch of teenagers. She had really needed a break from all of her responsibilities; and the disappearing act from camp - as well as her usual self - was liberating and completely wonderful.

She pulled her hair into a loose knot on the top of her head and skipped happily over to her bed. Grabbing a pillow and a throw blanket, she ran out of the room at top speed.

There were still a few hours left before the group had to rest up for the next day of work, so they had decided to spend it in the day-off room in the staff building. Her mother had decided a few years ago, that the counselors needed a place to go on-campus during their days-off that was solely for them. The room had couches, a TV, a Playstation, and few board games - and a sign on the door restricting anyone except that day's counselors from entering.

Buffy walked into the room to see the other five young people already lounging with their own blankets and pillows. Willow and Oz were sprawled on the floor, Xander and Cordy were sharing one couch, and Spike was on the other. Buffy closed the door behind her and took a seat next to Spike.

"Now that everyone is here...let the vidfest begin!" Xander said, rising from the couch. He pulled out a few tapes from the box next to the TV, and waved one in the air. "I'm putting in a preemptive bid for 'Apocalypse Now.' Who's with me?"

The girls groaned, Xander ALWAYS wanted to watch Apocalypse Now.

Willow piped in. "Is there anything less Heart-of-Darknessy?" Oz smiled at his girl-friend, and patted her knee supportively.

Xander placed a hand over his chest, mocking disbelief that Willow would not want to watch the movie. "Apocalypse Now is a gay romp! It's the feel good movie of whatever year it was!"

Five pairs of eyes stared blankly at him. He dropped the tape to the floor and picked up a few more options.

"What else you got?" Buffy asked, scooting in a little closer to Spike. He placed his arm around her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze.

Xander sighed, "Don't worry, I got plenty of chick-and-British-guy-flicks too. These puppies'll last us all night."

They had finally selected 'When Harry Met Sally' - undoubtedly a chick flick, but the guys were all for seeing the orgasm scene at the diner. It made them uncomfortable that women could be so good at faking it, but they thought a little tutoring about the tell-tale signs couldn't hurt.

As the opening credits rolled, Buffy stretched herself out on the long couch, indicating for Spike to lay behind her. She laid her blanket over them and snuggled closer when she felt him wrap his arms tightly around her.

Spike was in heaven. There he was, cuddling with Buffy in front of their friends, no campers in sight; it couldn't have been better. He placed a light kiss behind her ear and inhaled deeply the scent of her hair. Pulling her more tightly against him, he turned his eyes to the movie. He had seen it before, and it was pretty good. His mind trailed off and imagined that the story was about the two of them. It wasn't really that much of a long shot, that could easily have been them - except in real life, he and Buffy hadn't had much time to become friends.

Halfway though the movie, Buffy felt Spike's hand lightly caressing her arm. It was sending tinglies up and down her body. She couldn't stand being this close without touching. Deciding to be a little naughty, she pressed her hips back against him and wiggled slightly. Spike gasped at the contact and placed a firm hands on her hips, stopping her. He was enjoying the movie, and the cuddling, and didn't want to get frisky just yet. Besides, they were in a room full of people and while they had done stuff on the bus, he wasn't prepared to do that again.

Buffy giggled and took his hand in hers and moved them to rest on top of her stomach. Spike relaxed behind her, this was much better. He hugged her tightly and let out a deep sigh. Suddenly, he felt Buffy move their hands beneath the elastic waistband of her pants. He tried to pull away, but she continued the descent. It took everything he had to not give-in to her. He really wanted to touch her, he knew he couldn't live long without it; but he finally got control and pulled their joined hands up to her shoulder. He nudged her to turn and look at him.

Buffy raised her eyebrows at Spike. 'Why doesn't he want to? This is perfect. No one will ever know.'

Spike shook his head lightly at Buffy. Off her pout, he placed a kiss on their joined hands and turned her back to the movie.

Willow looked over at Oz and caught him staring at her intently. She blushed and went back to the movie. She couldn't remember a time when things were better for her. Oz was wonderful. He was sweet, caring, talented, and a really good kisser. Plus, he gave into her every whim - including posing for that silly caricature at the amusement park. The artist drew Willow kissing Oz on the cheek, while he sat straight faced. In the drawing, Oz was given slightly wolfish features, to indicate his sheep in wolf's clothing like nature. It was really cute. She couldn't believe that after all her years as a counselor, she was finally having her own summer romance; instead of always listening to other people talk about theirs. Willow didn't want to think about what would happen at the end of the summer. It was still too early for her to bring up the issue, but she had a feeling that Oz wouldn't disappear like most guys. She cuddled under his arm and watched with a tear in her eye as Billy Crystal broke up the New Year's Eve party to profess his un-dying love to Meg Ryan.

When the movie ended, Willow stood up and gave Oz a little kick. "I think I'm going to head out. . .comin'?" The young man yawned and rose to his feet.

Xander and Cordy collected their blankets and pillows and left the room hand in hand. After Cordy's rendition of "The Greatest Love of All," they were inseparable. Willow was even a little disgusted at how affectionate they were with each other.

Willow glanced over to Spike and saw Buffy fast asleep against him. "Don't worry Red, I'll get her back safely." Willow nodded and walked out with her boyfriend, closing the door behind them.

Spike looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms. He smiled and stroked her head lovingly. "Buffy," he whispered softly in her ear. When he didn't get a response, he nudged her gently. "Buffy, luv."

The petite blonde yawned, and rolled over, burrowing her face into Spike's chest. He really didn't want to wake her, but knew she had to get some real sleep before starting work again the next day. He patted her on the back. "Come on, time to get you into bed."

Buffy swung her leg over his hip and placed a kiss on his t-shirt clad chest. "This works for me."

Spike sighed and lifted her chin. "Really now, let me take you back to Revello. Maybe we can have a little chat on the way back."

Buffy groaned and pressed herself against his body. "Don't wanna," she whined, nipping his chin playfully. Using her leg muscles, she flipped them so she was now straddling him. She leaned down to kiss him, only to have him press his hands to her shoulders, effectively halting her assault.

He looked deeply into her shining eyes. "Buffy, we need to figure out. . ."

She placed a finger to his lips. "Ssshhhh . . .let me touch you" Buffy lowered her head and began nibbling along his jawline. When she reached his ear, she whispered huskily, "I need to touch you."

Spike felt his body's betrayal and begin responding to her touch. His heartbeat increased rapidly in his chest as he felt her slide down his body. He took a deep breath and lifted her back up to his face. "Come on, no time for games."

When he tried to lift them from the couch, she pushed him down roughly. "Shhhh." In a flash she was between his legs holding his penis in her small hand.

"Buffy," he gasped out between groans. She was stroking him to his fully-hardened state, and he couldn't take the torture. "Uuuuh. . .come on . . .ahhh. . .please."

She flashed him a wicked smile and licked the head of his cock just once before taking his full length into her mouth.

Spike let out a low growl in his chest. This was too much, he couldn't fight her. She wasn't playing by the rules. 'She's cheating!' He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

She lifted up, sucking in her cheeks as she rose. She chuckled when he grunted loudly, the vibrations only exciting him more. Quickening her pace, she moved her mouth up and down over him, alternating the pressure and strokes of her tongue.

Spike's hips began moving of their own volition, gyrating in response to her movements. When he felt her grasp the base of his penis in one hand and begin stroking while she sucked, his hips lifted off the couch. "Buffy! God, luv. . .please!" His hands began rubbing her shoulders in time.

Remembering what he had done to her in the laundry room, Buffy placed a hand on his bare stomach and pressed down lightly. His pants were getting harder and faster, as were her nips, sucks and strokes.

"AHHHH. . .stop . . .I'm almost. . .uggh!"

But she didn't stop, or slow down one bit; she squeezed in her cheeks even more tightly and sped up. She heard herself moan with him, and she gasped for air quickly before going back to work. Spike felt her remove her hand from his penis, and relaxed only a tad before tensing again as he felt her take his balls in her hand, jiggling them lightly.

His hips were thrusting in and out of her mouth now, out of his control. He gasped for breath and let out one final scream as his body readied itself to explode. When he let out a load roar, Buffy lifted her eyes to him and watched in amazement. She felt a cold spurt fill her mouth and swallowed him down greedily. It tasted much better than she'd thought, and since it was his, it made it that much better. He grunted as he kept spurting out streams of cum into her mouth. When he was finally spent, he released his grip on her shoulders and fell back to the couch, his chest still heaving from his quickened breathing.

Buffy released him from her mouth, and lifted his shorts to cover him again. She wiped her mouth happily and smiled at him. She had made him do that; it was all her. When he finally opened his eyes, she expected the goofy grin that usually came after he climaxed. Instead, she was met with an angry glare and flaring nostrils.

Spike bolted from the couch and moved away from her. 'How could she do that to me? Is that all I am to her?'

Buffy looked at him with wide eyes. 'What's wrong with him? Granted, it was my first attempt at a blow job, but I thought it was pretty good.' She took a few tentative steps toward him. "Spike?"

He lifted his hand to stop her movements. "No . . .you stay over there." Spike didn't know what would happen if she got any closer; he would probably either screw her silly, or throttle her for what she just did to him.

Buffy furrowed her brows at him and placed her hands on her hips. "Well, picture me confused. I thought this is what you wanted."

Spike let out the breath he was holding. "What I want is . . ." He looked into her tearing eyes. "Buffy, we can't keep doing this."

She wrapped her arms around her body protectively and spoke quietly, her voice wavering, "I . . . I thought we were . . .having fun."

He shook his head at her. "We are . . .er . . .we were." He took a step towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder tenderly. "It's just that we can't keep playing these games with each other. I want more than that. . . I NEED more than that."

Buffy lifted her glassy eyes to his. "What if this is all I can give right now?"

Spike sighed and stepped back. "Then maybe you should just go." He indicated the door. "Cause if I can't have all of you, I'd rather . . ." his voice trailed off, not wanting to say the words. 'What are you doing man? She's right in front of you! She wants you! Don't throw it away because she's not ready to let you in!'

Buffy inhaled sharply and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Fine, if that's the way you want it." She walked over to the couch and collected her blanket and pillow. She turned to look at him. "I'm sorry I can't give you more. It's just that I'm really afr. . ." Buffy stopped herself. 'Say it! You're scared of being hurt! You don't want him to leave!' She took a deep breath and motioned towards the door. "I'm just gonna go."

Spike watched her sadly as she closed the door behind her. "Damn!" He slouched back on the couch and put his face in his hands.