Part 2

Two days had passed since Buffy had discovered she was a little more than meets the eye. She had continued to stay with Spike even though she knew deep down it was probably not necessary. She didn't feel like she was evil or dangerous, but she was still afraid. She didn't know what she was or what she could be capable of. She felt safer with him.

She lay on the hard concrete bed and slept fitfully. Every time she closed her eyes, the dreams would come again. Each time, she'd wake screaming and Spike would comfort her until she fell asleep again. It was a strange ritual.

When she was awake, she continued to give him a hard time. She preferred to pretend that nothing had changed between the two of them in the last few days, but she knew it had. Everything had changed, and not just with him. Everything she thought she knew about herself was wrong now. She only hoped that soon she'd have some answers.

As she tossed and turned, a new and different dream began to plague her.

She was walking through a graveyard. She felt uneasy and fearful. I'm going to die… She kept repeating over and over in her head. Suddenly she found herself underground. She looked around at her surroundings and recognized them instantly.

"Welcome." She heard the eerily familiar voice, echo around her.

"Thanks for having me." She responded.

Just then the Master stepped out of the shadows to face her. Buffy suddenly felt a major sense of déjà vu. She looked at him oddly.

"Okay, didn't we already do this? I thought I killed you." She said to him, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ah yes. I seem to remember killing you as well. Funny how these things work out." He laughed with a slight shrug.

"Are you here for a reason?" She asked him impatiently.

He only looked at her and laughed. Then suddenly he was behind her, biting into her neck. She tried to struggle, but she couldn't seem to move. He tossed her into the pool of water. Blackness surrounded her until a flash of light blinded her.

She was now standing beside the pool of water. Xander stood behind her. She looked down into the pool and could see his reflection in the water. His was the only reflection that she saw.

"Why can't I see myself?" She asked Xander, turning around quickly.

"Because your dead." He said with a blank look on his face.

"But I-I don't feel dead. I feel strong. I feel different." She said shaking her head.

He only ignored her and walked away. The scene changed again and she was now sitting in Dracula's castle.

"Okay, what do you want?" She asked him as he sat across from her at the large table.

"You've found it. The darkness. Your true nature." He said with a pleased look.

"What?" She asked confused.

"All these years fighting us, and your power is so near to our own." He said shaking his head.

"I'm not like you." She protested.

"You think you know what you are? What's to come? You haven't even begun." He said calmly looking at her.

Suddenly, she bolted upright from her sleeping position. She was out of breath again, and she looked at her surroundings. Spike's crypt. Spike was lying beside her, and he was startled awake by her sudden movements.

"Buffy, are you okay? Did you have another dream?" He asked, concerned for her.

He had taken to sleeping next to her, even though she had protested at first. But after she would wake crying from a nightmare, he would go to her and they would fall asleep together. After the first couple of times, she finally relented and just let him sleep beside her. It was easier that way.

"This dream was different. It wasn't like the others. I-I think this one was trying to tell me something." She said, realizing it had the feel of one of her prophetic dreams.

"What was it about?" He asked her curiously.

"I'm not sure. The Master was in it. And Dracula. It was strange. I'm not sure what it meant." She said shaking her head.

"It wasn't some kind of kinky dream was it?" He teased her, trying to lighten the tension a bit.

"Oh yuck. As if. No, this was creepy. Though not as creepy as that sort of dream would have been. I mean, some of the stuff actually happened, but not exactly. The things they said to me…" She said shaking her head.

"Do you think it has something to do with what's happening to you now?" He asked curiously.

"I don't know." She said with a sigh as she laid back down again.

Dracula's last words danced around in her head. You think you know what you are? What's to come? You haven't even begun… She knew these were the same words she had heard before in another dream, as well as from his own mouth when she had met him. He knew what I was before I did. But what am I? She asked herself.

Dawn woke up early. Something was wrong and she knew it. Buffy had not been home at all for more than two days. No one would tell her anything and she was starting to get angry as well as worried.

She passed by Buffy's room, and saw that she was not in her bed again. She felt a tear come to her eye and she wiped it away hastily. She turned and walked down the stairs quickly.

Willow and Tara were in the living room with piles of books surrounding them. They looked extremely tired and Tara yawned.

"I'm going to make some more coffee." Tara said, getting up to go to the kitchen.

As she turned around, she saw Dawn standing on the stairs with tears in her eyes.

"Dawnie. You're awake." Tara said trying to smile.

"What's going on? Where is my sister?" Dawn said, tired of everyone pretending things were normal.

Willow stood up and walked over to her with a sympathetic face. Buffy had made them swear they wouldn't tell Dawn about any of this until they had some answers. The feeble excuses for Buffy's absence were growing thin.

"Dawnie, Buffy just had to go away for a few days, that's all." Willow said trying to explain.

"Yeah, I know that's what you said, but Buffy would have at least said goodbye to me. Where did she go?" Dawn asked wiping her eyes.

"S-She wanted to say goodbye, but…" Tara started to say.

"You guys are lying to me. She's not on a vacation. She's dead again, isn't she? Something went wrong, and she's gone, right? That's why you won't tell me." Dawn said, breaking down.

Willow went over and put her arm around Dawn, who shook it off.

"Don't touch me. It's all your fault that she came back, and now it's probably your fault that she's gone." Dawn said hurtfully.

Tears immediately sprung to Willow's eyes and her lip trembled.

"Dawn…" Willow said sadly.

"No, stop it. Y-your stupid magic probably wore off or something, and now she's gone again. That's what happened, didn't it?" Dawn said angrily looking at both of the witches. "Tell me!" Dawn shouted, as she broke down into sobs and slumped onto the stairs.

Tara came up and put her arm around Willow and gave her squeeze. Then she walked over to Dawn and touched her arm cautiously.

"Dawnie, listen to me. Buffy isn't gone. She's fine. S-she's just a little confused right now. She doesn't feel like herself. Willow and I are trying to find a way to make her feel right again. I-I think she just needed some time alone." Tara tried to explain softly.

Dawn looked up at her with puffy eyes.

"What's wrong with her?" She choked out.

"W-we don't know." Tara said softly, trying to smooth the hair out of Dawn's eyes. "But, Giles is going to be here this afternoon, and he thinks he may know why she's not feeling right."

"Giles knows about this?" Dawn asked.

Tara nodded her head.

"We told him that Buffy was having some difficulty adjusting and he's gonna take care of everything." Tara tried to reassure her.

She only hoped that it was the truth. She and Willow had not been successful in finding out any clues as to what Buffy was, or what may have happened.

"Where is she?" Dawn asked, wiping her eyes, trying to compose herself.

Tara looked at Willow and gave her a look that asked `Should I tell her?' Willow shrugged her shoulders sadly. She didn't know if Buffy would want Dawn to see her or not. Tara sighed and looked back at Dawn.

"We aren't sure. She's safe though." Tara said soothingly. "You'll see her soon."

Dawn looked at both of the girls and gave them a hard look. She knew they were lying or at least not telling her everything. She picked herself up and wiped her eyes once more.

"I'm going back to bed. Suddenly, I feel tired." She said calmly.

She headed back up the stairs and ran into her room. She slammed the door and lay down on her bed and cried.

Willow broke down in tears once more and Tara went to hold her.

"How can we lie to her? She's right, you know. It is my fault. Even she sees that." Willow cried.

"Honey, it's not your fault. Giles said he had some information. He'll be here in a few hours." Tara said softly.

Tara was growing tired. Suddenly she was the one taking on the role of comforter and trying to be the voice of reason. She had her own fears and doubts, but no one to share them with. Willow needed her to be strong, and Tara couldn't afford to admit that she was scared.

She didn't want Willow to know that she was afraid for Buffy and for her. Willow had performed a completely taboo spell. Bringing a person back from the dead was wrong, any way you looked at it. Tara knew there was going to be repercussions. Apparently the biggest one was that Buffy was no longer Buffy. At least not the one they used to know. She just prayed that Giles would have some good news.

Dawn pulled herself together and threw her clothes on. She needed to talk to someone. Someone who wouldn't lie to her. She needed to see Spike. She hadn't seen him in the last few days either. She wondered if he even knew what was going on. If he did, Dawn felt sure that he would tell her.

She pulled on her jacket and climbed out the window. She had gotten really good at sneaking out. Over the summer, she had done it almost every night. That was until Spike caught on to what she was doing.

He had been furious at her for being careless. He said he worried about her and that it was his job to keep her safe. She had tried to act annoyed but she felt her heart warm even more towards the blonde vampire. He was her friend and he cared about her.

After he knew she was sneaking out, he decided that he'd just tag along with her. He knew she'd do it anyway, so he figured at least he'd keep her safe. They used to take walks, sometimes to the lake just to look at stars.

She felt so close to him. It was as if he was the only one who really understood her. She felt out of place with Buffy's friends and so did he. Neither one of them belonged there. Buffy was the common link that had held them both to the Scoobies. Without her around, Spike and Dawn had felt lost.

That's when they found comfort in each other. Spike had told Dawn more than once that she was the only reason he was still walking this Earth. He had wanted to die himself after Buffy was gone. Dawn had kept him going, and for that she was grateful. She needed him too.

And today, she really needed him, she thought as she walked the familiar route to his crypt. She came to his door and gently eased it open, trying to be careful to not let too much sunlight pour into the room.

As she walked in, she saw Buffy and Spike sitting together watching TV. Dawn looked surprised at first and then a huge smile came over her face. Buffy stood up and couldn't help but be thrilled by seeing Dawn. Thoughts of staying away from her melted away.

"Buffy! You're okay!" Dawn shouted as she ran up to hug her.

"I'm okay. Dawn, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked concerned. She wondered if Willow had broken down and told her what was going on.

"I-I came to see Spike." She said smiling at him. He smiled back. "I thought maybe he'd tell me where you were. But now I see you've been here all along haven't you?"

"Dawn, listen. There are some things going on…" Buffy tried to explain, but Dawn cut her off.

"No. Don't explain. I mean, I'm mad that you didn't tell me, but it's alright." Dawn said happily.

"What?" Buffy said confused about what Dawn meant.

"You and Spike are together. I can see why you wouldn't want the others to know, but you could have told me. I was so worried. I thought that you had died again or something, but now I know you guys just wanted to be alone." Dawn said with a knowing smile.

Buffy looked at her and shook her head. Spike couldn't help but be amused that Dawn thought they had holed themselves up so they could `get to know each other better'. He only wished that were the case.

"Dawnie, it's not like that." Buffy protested embarrassed at her sister's assumption.

"You don't have to lie to me, Buffy. It's cool. I mean, you could have told me you guys were planning sexfest 2001…" Dawn said rolling her eyes.

Spike couldn't help but laugh out loud at her comments. Buffy glared at him.

"This isn't funny." She said to him irritated. Then she turned to Dawn. "We are not having sex. That's not why I'm here. Did Willow tell you anything?" Buffy asked her.

Dawn looked a little confused, and then shook her head.

"Not really. She just said you weren't feeling like yourself and had to go away for a few days. Then I saw you here, all cozy with Spike, so I just figured…" Dawn explained.

"We were kinda cozy, weren't we?" Spike said thoughtfully.

Buffy punched him on the arm.

"Shut up, Spike." She said rolling her eyes.

"Hey, be nice. You are a guest in my home." He said with a smirk.

"If you can call this a home." She said glaring at him.

"You seem pretty comfortable here." He told her with a smile.

"Ah! Will you just be quiet?" Buffy said exasperated.

"Well maybe if we were having sex, you wouldn't be in such a bad mood all the time." Spike muttered under his breath.

Buffy shot him a disgusted look.

"Spike, I swear-." Buffy started but Dawn cut her off.

"Stop fighting. Geez, some things never change." Dawn said rolling her eyes. Then she looked at Buffy. "Will you tell me what's going on? If you guys aren't, you know, getting it on, then why are you playing house with him?" She asked pointedly.

Buffy sighed and took Dawn's hand.

"Sit down. It's kind of a long story." Buffy said, prepared to just tell Dawn the truth.

She had wanted to wait, but seeing Dawn again made it too hard to lie or to keep her in the dark. She needed to know the truth, whatever that was. She sat her down and started to explain the things that were happening.

When Buffy finished, Dawn sat there with a confused and slightly terrified look on her face. She wiped away a silent tear that had begun to run down her cheek. She looked at Buffy and shook her head.

"B-But you seem like Buffy. You seem the same. I don't understand. How can you not be human?" Dawn said sadly.

"I don't know Dawnie. I feel pretty much the same, most of the time, but this thing…Whatever it is, it's inside me. I can't control it yet." Buffy explained.

"Are you evil? I-I mean, you're not gonna kill me or anything, are you?" Dawn asked worried.

"No. I would never, ever hurt you. You are my sister, regardless of whatever this is." Buffy assured her.

"Then why are you hiding out here? I-if you aren't going to hurt me, then why are you here?" Dawn asked confused.

Buffy sighed.

"I just don't want anything to happen. I mean, I don't even know what I am. Something could happen, that I don't want to happen. I told you, I can't control this. I didn't want to freak out and get fangy on you. I didn't want to scare you." Buffy explained.

"But you said it's only happened when you're fighting, right? It's not like you're plotting world destruction or anything. Maybe it's just a new Slayer thing? New powers or something?" Dawn offered, trying to make sense of it all.

"Maybe. That's what I need to find out." Buffy said nodding her head. "But we do know that I'm not entirely human anymore. That's the part that worries me the most." Buffy said sadly.

"Well, that doesn't matter. Not to me anyway. I-I'm not human either. Not entirely. And neither is Spike, and we're okay. Right Spike?" Dawn said looking over at him.

"Right. Being human is vastly overrated. Doesn't matter to me." He said shrugging.

Buffy looked at them incredulously, then she couldn't help but smile. Dawn was taking this far better than she expected.

"Okay, you guys are crazy." She said, shaking her head. "Dawn, are you sure this isn't majorly freaking you out?" She said curiously.

"No Buffy. I-I mean, it's strange and kinda creepy, but it doesn't matter to me. You're still Buffy, even if you aren't exactly the same as before." Dawn explained.

Then she started to giggle. Buffy and Spike looked at her strangely.

"What's funny?" Buffy asked her.

"Nothing. It's just this whole thing. I mean, how weird are we? The three of us, I mean." Dawn said laughing.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Well, it's just we're all freaks. None of us knows exactly what we are." Dawn explained.

"Hey, I know what I am." Spike chimed in.

"No you don't, Spike. Sure, you're a vampire, but you can't hurt anyone. Plus, you're all trying to be good despite the fact that you don't have a soul. I mean, come on? What kind of vampire is that?" Dawn said matter of factly.

"A strange one." Buffy said giving him a look. He made a face at her.

"And me." Dawn continued. "I may look like your average fifteen year old, but I'm not even real. I'm a blob of green energy. And I don't even know where I came from or what powers I have. People would kill just to destroy me or use me. And now you, Buffy. We don't know what you are anymore either. We are like the freak family." Dawn said shrugging.

"We aren't freaks." Buffy protested, and then she caught the rest of Dawn's statement. "Wait, you think we're family? I-I mean, Spike isn't family." Buffy protested.

"To me he is." Dawn said seriously.

"Dawn, Spike is not family. He's just, well, Spike." Buffy said feeling a little put off that Dawn included him in their `freak family'.

"Buffy, who do you think took over your role when you were gone? Who took care of me and made sure I didn't get into trouble?" Dawn asked pointedly.

"Willow and Tara. Plus the rest of the gang. Giles…" Buffy began to rationalize.

"No. I mean, they were there. But they were so wrapped up in their own lives. I was just an afterthought. Spike was the only one who really cared." Dawn said seriously.

Buffy looked at Spike who seemed almost touched by Dawn's words.

"You told me to keep her safe, so that's what I did." He said quietly to Buffy.

Buffy absorbed his words and Dawn's obvious affection for the vampire. She was a little thrown. She knew that he'd been there for Dawn, but she honestly hadn't realized how close they had become. Dawn noticed the confused look on Buffy's face and decided to change the subject.

"Look, it doesn't matter what we are Buffy. I still love you, and we'll figure this out together. Right?" Dawn said.

Buffy smiled at her sister and gave her a hug.

"Dawnie, you are so important to me. You know that. I was just afraid of what you would think of me when you found out I was a little `changed'. I should have known it didn't matter." Buffy said relieved that Dawn hadn't flipped out at her news.

"Nope. But if you feel like eating me or something, let me know." Dawn said jokingly.

"Promise." Buffy said with a smile.

She couldn't believe they were sitting here joking like this about something so incredibly serious. But Buffy couldn't deny that she felt better somehow.

"I better get back to the house. Will and Tara are probably freaking right now. I sorta had to sneak out." Dawn said sheepishly.

"Dawn." Buffy said sternly.

"I only did it because they wouldn't tell me what was going on. I just wanted to see Spike. Besides, it's daytime. The creepy crawlies are all playing indoor games right now." Dawn said rolling her eyes.

"Fine, just be careful. Giles should be there soon, and then I'm gonna head home. I talked to Willow yesterday while you were at school. She said that he may have some info." Buffy told her.

"Are you gonna come home for good, Buffy?" Dawn asked imploringly.

"Yeah. Since I've managed not to kill Spike in the last three days, I think I'm safe around people I actually like." She said smirking at him.

He rolled his eyes at her and sighed.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you soon right?" Dawn asked.

"I'll be there soon." Buffy said giving Dawn another quick hug.

"Bye Spike." Dawn said giving him a smile.

She knew he must have been dying having Buffy staying with him. She silently wondered if there was something going on. She'd have to press Spike for the details later. Buffy would never give her any of the good information.

After Dawn left, Buffy turned to Spike. She looked at him curiously. He noticed her look and questioned her with his eyes.

"What?" He asked her.

"Nothing. It's just, I hadn't realized how close you and Dawn had gotten. I mean, she really surprised me with that family stuff." Buffy said shaking her head.

"Well, we are close. She's a good kid." He said shrugging. "When you were gone, we both felt a little lost, you know?" He said uncomfortably.

"Yeah. I guess." She said skeptically.

"Look, I promised you I'd look out for her. I failed miserably the first time, so I was just trying to do right. She felt responsible for your death. And she wasn't alone." He said softly.

"She felt responsible?" Buffy asked feeling guilty.

"We both did. Hell, we spent quite a lot of time arguing over who was more at fault. Her or me." He said, moving away from her nervously.

He hadn't really shared his guilty conscience with her yet. He preferred to keep some things to himself.

"I don't get it. Why would you feel responsible?" She asked unsure.

"Well, it was my fault that Dawn got cut. I tried to save her, but I failed. That was the reason you had to jump. Because I failed." He said, feeling the intense emotion wash over him again. He hadn't allowed himself to think of this since she'd been back.

She looked at him and her face softened. She couldn't believe that he had actually blamed himself for what she had done. It was all a little unreal.

"Spike, it wasn't your fault. You tried. We all tried. None of us could have stopped it." She said touching his arm.

She suddenly felt bad for him. She had no idea that he had felt this way.

"You asked me to do one simple thing, and that was protect your sister. I thought, `Hey, great.' This is my chance to save the day. Pretend I'm a hero. But I screwed it up. The one time in my miserable existence that something really mattered, and I screwed it up." He said bitterly.

She saw the emotion on his face and she suddenly wanted to reach out and comfort him, the way he had been doing for her the last few days. She wondered if he'd let her. She cautiously reached out and touched his face. He looked at her with watery eyes.

"Spike, don't blame yourself for this. I did this, not you. It was my choice. It wasn't Dawn's fault for being the Key, and it wasn't your fault the ritual started." She said softly. Then she added with a smile, "I blame you for a lot of things, but this isn't one of them."

He felt himself smile at her last remark. She always had to say something sarcastic, but he knew she was being sincere about the rest of it. It was more kindness than he felt he deserved from her.

"You sure you don't blame me for this? I mean, you might as well add it to your list." He said with a small smile.

"No. I really don't. I don't blame anyone. Not even myself. What I did? I'd do it again in a second. I don't regret it. It had to happen that way." She said reassuring him.

"I'm still sorry." He said softly.

He'd never actually said the words to her, and it felt a little foreign to him. But he did feel sorry. He wasn't supposed to feel guilty about anything. He was a demon. Soulless and unfeeling, right? Sometimes he still wished that were true, but it wasn't. Dawn was right. He didn't know what he was anymore.