Deserving

Anya was making coffee for everyone, as they sat around in Giles’ apartment. It was nearly morning at this point. Buffy, Dawn and Spike hadn’t wanted to go home. Not until they knew all they could know about what they were facing. Giles looked up at them.

“There is a scroll that needs to be acquired, along with a key.” He told them as he read the passage.

“A key? Are they talking about me again?” Dawn asked sleepily.

“No. This is an actual key of some sort. Its mystical properties can aid in closing the gates of hell. This is what it looks like.” He said, holding up a picture of a long dagger shaped key, with an elaborate design at the top. “The scroll is needed to perform the ritual that activates the key.” He explained.

“So where do we find this stuff?” Buffy asked.

“It’s in Quinnith.” He told her.

“Quinnith? Is that in California?” Buffy asked confused.

“It’s not in this dimension, Buffy. It’s somewhere else.” He said with a sigh.

“Another dimension? How the hell are we supposed to get it?” Spike asked, growing frustrated that there always seemed to be more questions than answers.

“Someone will have to retrieve it.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. Just tell me how to get there.” Spike told him.

“Not just anyone can get into Quinnith.” Anya piped up as she put the coffee pot on the table.

“What?” Buffy and Spike asked in unison.

“Anya’s right. Only the most pure of beings can travel the dimensional walls to get to Quinnith. I’m afraid that leaves Spike out of the equation.” He said, raising his eyebrow at Spike.

“Then I’ll go.” Buffy offered.

“You can’t go either, Buffy.” Giles said rubbing his eyes.

“Why? I’m pure.” She protested with a pout.

She noticed everyone in the room giving her a strange look. Spike started to laugh and he tried to stifle it behind his hand.

“What? You mean, I have to be that pure?” She asked incredulously.

“I’m not referring to your, uh…that.” Giles squeaked out uncomfortably. “But, this person has to be untainted by darkness. And they also have to be able to withstand the energy field that surrounds this dimension.”

“You mean me, right?” Dawn asked quietly.

Giles looked at her and nodded slightly. Buffy saw this and stood up to face him.

“No. Dawn is not going to some weird dimension by herself. Are you crazy?”

“It’s the only way. She’s the only one who can do it.” Giles tried to explain.

“No. I don’t care. We’ll find another way.” Buffy protested.

Spike touched her shoulder and tried to calm her down. But she shook it off and took Dawn’s arm.

“We’re going home.” She told her firmly.

“Buffy, don’t walk out on this.” Giles told her seriously.

“I don’t want to go home, Buffy. I want to stay and hear this.” Dawn said, wrenching her arm out of Buffy’s grasp.

“Dawn, you can’t do this. You have no idea what you could be getting into.” Buffy said unhappily.

“I know. But if this is the only way, and I’m the only one who can do it? Then I have to Buffy.” Dawn implored her.

“How is she going to get there? Or better yet, how will she get back?” Buffy asked, shaking her head.

“There is an incantation. You recite it three times. It’s the same to get back.” Giles explained.

“Then why can’t I do it, if it’s that easy?” Buffy asked.

“Because the energy barrier will kill you.”

“And how do we know it won’t kill Dawn?”

“Because, she is pure energy. She can’t be harmed by it. Buffy, if we don’t get the scroll and the key, we may as well just curl up in bed and watch the Earth go to hell in front of us. This is our only hope.” Giles said gravely.

“Let me do it, Buffy. I want to. You said I wasn’t ready to fight. That I wasn’t good enough. Well, maybe fighting isn’t my thing. Maybe this is? That, and turning into a giant firefly when I read a book. But all I know, is that you have to let me do this.” Dawn implored Buffy.

Buffy stood there as everyone waited for her response. She didn’t know what to do. She promised to protect her, and now they wanted her to send Dawn off to some unknown world, all by herself. It didn’t make sense. But deep down she knew she had no other options. She wiped the tears out of her eyes.

“I don’t like this.” She said shaking her head.

“I know. But it’s really very safe. Quinnith is akin to a heavenly dimension. Nothing evil or impure may enter it. Which is why these artifacts are held there. To keep them safe. They can’t be retrieved by just anyone.” Giles explained.

“How do we know that Dawn can even get them? If they’re guarded or something, why would they just hand them over to her?” Buffy asked.

“They aren’t guarded. They are held behind a magical barrier. And the same key that was used to decipher the book, will decipher the code to break down the barrier. That’s the other reason why it has to be Dawn. No one else can do it.”

Buffy realized this was not something she could walk out on. Either she let Dawn do it, or the world would face a certain death. She had no choice. She looked down at her feet.

“When?” She whispered softly.

“As soon as possible.” Giles told her quietly.

Buffy looked at Dawn.

“Are you sure about this? You have no idea what could happen.”

“I know. But I’ll be okay. I’m ready.” Dawn said calmly.

She was feeling terrified inside. But she didn’t want anyone to know. Least of all Buffy. If she knew how scared she really was, she’d never let her go. Dawn knew that this was what she had to do. Just like Buffy knew what she had to do last year when she jumped off that tower. Dawn only hoped she didn’t suffer the same ending.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Willow sat on the edge of her bed and stared out the window. Seeing Tara hadn’t made anything easier like she had wanted it to. It had only made things worse. Seeing her beautiful face again, and hearing her voice had nearly ripped Willow’s heart out. If only the experience hadn’t been ruined by Warren. Even in death, he had the power to destroy Tara’s light. She hated him even more than she did before.

And now, she felt trapped in this place. It felt neither comfortable nor retreat-y anymore. It felt like prison. She knew that the other witches were trying to help her, but she didn’t feel like she needed help anymore. She had done two spells, and even though they hadn’t turned out like she planned, they weren’t harmful. At least that’s what she believed.

But Tara had told her not to do it anymore. She didn’t understand that. Even in death, she suspected Tara didn’t trust her. But she also knew that wherever Tara resided now, she had likely witnessed the chaos Willow had caused. She supposed Tara had a reason to be cautious.

Just then, Elizabeth entered the room with a tray of tea and biscuits. She set it down on the dresser and walked over to Willow.

“You should eat something.” She told her softly.

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Well, then drink your tea at least. It’s chamomile. It will calm you.” Elizabeth said kindly.

“I want to go home.” Willow told her as she stood up to face her.

“You can’t. Not yet.”

“Why not? I’m all cured, right? I just need to go home and see my friends.”

“You’re not cured, silly girl. You think I don’t know about what you’ve done?” Elizabeth asked testily.

“What? What have I done?”

“The spells. I know about them. You didn’t even last a week, Willow.”

“They were harmless. It wasn’t black magic.” She protested.

“Harmless, you say? Then why are you now being haunted? You realize that calling on the dead is not in fact harmless. You invited him here, and now perhaps he doesn’t want to leave. Did you ever think of that?” She asked angrily.

“I didn’t invite him anywhere. I wanted to see Tara.” Willow added softly.

“Yes, and you did. Was she pleased that you called on her?”

Willow hung her head down shamefully.

“No, but--.”

“There is no ‘but’. You have a long way to go. You aren’t ready to leave, and that’s final.” She said firmly.

“You can’t keep me here anymore. I’m not a prisoner.”

“No, you’re quite right. But if you leave now, and continue the way you’re heading, all hope is lost.” She said seriously.

“Hope is lost? How is that? You don’t think I can take care of myself?” Willow asked defensively.

“You haven’t exhibited that ability yet, have you?”

“You don’t think I’ve learned anything?” Willow asked unhappily.

Elizabeth sighed and went over to her.

“Willow, you are still ruled by your emotions. Everything you do is a reaction to something else. If you are to use magic, you cannot be ruled by your heart. And you mustn’t ever fool with the world of the dead. The consequences could be dire.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call being haunted by Casper the evil ghost, dire.” She said rolling her eyes.

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking of something far worse. Something you obviously cannot comprehend. And for that reason alone, you must not leave. Not until you do understand.”

With that, Elizabeth got up and walked out of the room. Willow sighed and laid back on the bed. She tried to understand what Elizabeth was saying, but she was still in denial. She didn’t like other people telling her what to do. And she didn’t like it when people treated her like she was stupid. She knew she had needed help when she first came here, but she felt better now. And all she could think about was getting out of this place as soon as possible.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy and Dawn sat in their living room together. Dawn had decided she wanted to go to Quinnith tonight. There was no point in waiting. They needed to get the items and Giles had given her all the instructions she needed. She knew where to go, and who to talk to when she got there. Anya assured them all again that Quinnith was a peaceful dimension. She hadn’t been there herself, not being pure, but she seemed to know a good deal about the place.

That fact made Dawn feel a little bit better. If only the purest beings could get into there, then it had to be safe. Just like Giles had said. She was more worried about getting lost, or getting stranded there. She hadn’t even gone to the movies alone before, much less another dimension. But she was being strong so that Buffy wouldn’t worry too much.

“I’m gonna be okay. You heard what Anya said. It’s nice there.” Dawn said rubbing Buffy’s arm.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s wonderful. It’s the Bahamas of the underworld. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your stay.” Buffy said sarcastically. She was trying to hide her distress with sarcasm.

“I’m going to come back. I promise.” Dawn reassured her.

“You better.” Buffy said forcing a small smile.

“I will. Besides it’s my week to do the laundry. And I know you’ll be mega pissed if I don’t come back in time to do it.” Dawn joked.

Buffy laughed at that, and pulled Dawn into a hug.

“I love you, Dawnie. You stay safe and if you get frightened or freaked or anything, just come back. Don’t worry if you can’t get the stuff.” Buffy said seriously.

“I will. But I’m gonna get the stuff. I’m not about to break through dimensional walls just for a quick peek. If I’m there, I’m gonna do it.” She said confidently.

Buffy nodded and hugged her again. It was almost time for her to leave. They were meeting Giles, Anya and Spike at the Magic Box as soon as it closed. Dawn pulled away from her and let out a deep breath.

“We should go now.”

“I know.” Buffy agreed as she reluctantly stood to her feet.

They headed out towards the Magic Box. They were completely silent, both lost in their own thoughts and fears. They finally reached the store and headed inside. Everyone else was already waiting for them in the training room.

“I didn’t think you were gonna show.” Spike said to them quietly.

“If I had my way…” Buffy said with a sigh.

“You know I have to.” Dawn said giving her a sympathetic look.

“I know, and that’s why we’re here.” Buffy relented.

“Here is the incantation. I’ve drawn the sacred circle here with some chalk.” Giles said as he handed Dawn a slip of paper.

“Is there gonna be chalk in Quinnith? How am I gonna draw a sacred circle?” Dawn asked nervously.

“You can use whatever they have available. It doesn’t have to be drawn, it could be arranged out of tree braches, or written in sand. I’m not sure what elements Quinnith has.” Giles admitted.

“Why can’t she just take some chalk with her?” Buffy asked.

“Yes, well, good point. Here.” Giles said, handing over the chalk and the directions to her destination. He then stepped out of the circle.

“And I just chant this three times?” Dawn clarified.

“Yes.”

“When I come back, where am I gonna end up? Here in the Magic Box?”

“Yes. We’ll keep the circle open, and you should return to the exact spot you left.”

Dawn nodded and took a deep breath. Buffy wiped a tear off her face and Spike went over and put his arm around her shoulder.

“I guess this is it. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Be careful Dawn. I love you.” Buffy said tearfully.

“I will. I’ll be back before you know it.”

She took another deep breath and closed her eyes. Then she opened them, and began reciting the incantation. As she did, the circle filled with a swirl of bright, blue energy. It glowed brighter and brighter, as it formed a mini tornado around Dawn. With the third repetition, Dawn was sucked into the portal, and disappeared.

Giles rubbed his eyes and prayed that he was correct in his translations. He could never forgive himself if this didn’t turn out the way he expected it would. And Buffy would likely kill him. Anya stepped forward and looked at all their glum faces.

“She’s gonna be okay. It’s a bumpy ride between dimensions, but she can handle it.” She assured all of them.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. She’s strong.” Buffy said, as she wiped her eyes again.

“How long is she gonna be gone?” Spike asked Giles.

“That depends on how long it takes her to find what she’s looking for. And time travels differently between dimensions. She could be back very soon. Or it could take a day or two. I don’t know.”

“You should go home and rest. You’ve been up for almost forty eight hours. Giles and I will stay here if she comes back.” Anya told her sympathetically.

“I don’t want to go.”

“It could be days, Buffy. You can’t just stand here the whole time.” Spike told her gently.

“Yes I could.” She protested weakly.

“They’re right. You should go home. I’ll call you if anything happens. You’re going to need your rest if you wanna be prepared for what’s to come.” Giles said as he went over and placed his hands on Buffy’s shoulders.

With a small sigh, she relented. She knew she wouldn’t sleep, but maybe she should leave? What if this portal was like waiting for water to boil? If you watched it, it would never happen.

“Okay, but you call me if she gets back. I’ll be here in the morning. I already called in sick to work. You know, if the world keeps threatening to end like this, I’m never gonna be able to keep a job.” She said trying to smile.

Giles smiled at her and hugged her tightly. She turned around to leave. Spike followed her. He didn’t ask if she wanted him to come, he had just assumed. She didn’t protest. He thought at the very least he could walk her home, and make sure she was alright. He knew that letting Dawn go like this was killing her.

They made their way to Buffy’s house silently. Buffy was trying to be really strong about this, but it was hard. She would have been uneasy about making the trip to Quinnith herself. But she would have done it, and not said a word. Knowing that Dawn must be ten times as frightened as Buffy would have been, ripped her heart out. Especially because Dawn hadn’t said a word either. She was extremely brave. Buffy knew that.

She had to remember that Dawn had been just as ready to jump off that tower last year. Dawn had been ready to sacrifice herself, without so much as a word of fright. Dawn was probably a hundred times stronger than Buffy was at her age. They were alike in many ways, but also very different. Dawn was not just a little girl anymore. She never really was. Buffy’s memories of her were not real. She had never been a little girl with pigtails and skinned knees. She had always been this great thing. The Key to the universe. Buffy couldn’t keep pretending that her sister was an ordinary girl.

They walked up the walkway and Buffy opened the door. Spike held back and stood on her porch.

“You gonna be alright?” He asked, intending to leave her there. He didn’t want to overstay his welcome.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” She said calmly.

“Good. Well, then get some rest.” He said, as he turned to go.

“You’re leaving?” She called after him.

He turned around to face her again.

“You don’t want me to?”

“Not really.” She said softly.

He smiled slightly and walked back up the steps to follow her inside. She shut the door and they went into the living room. She flipped on the light and sat down on the couch. He sat next to her. He watched as she stared blankly ahead of her. It bothered him, because it reminded him of how she had looked that night when he first saw her alive again. Lost, scared and completely confused.

He reached over and touched her arm gently.

“She’ll be okay. She’s in a world that’s pure. It’s probably better there than it is here. This realm isn’t exactly picky about who it lets in.” He pointed out to her comfortingly.

She nodded her head.

“I know. I know she’s gonna be okay. It’s me that’s a complete wreck. You were right when you said we weren’t always going to be able to protect her.” She said softly.

“Maybe she doesn’t need us to protect her anymore?”

“I know that too.”

Buffy sat back into the cushions and covered her face with her hands. She was trying so hard not to cry. She hated crying in front of people, but for some reason when Spike was around, she couldn’t seem stop herself. She began crying quietly behind her hands.

Spike saw this and his heart ached. He knew how hard this had to be for her. The last time she felt she had lost Dawn, she went completely catatonic. He was actually relieved that she was crying instead of staring blankly ahead, completely emotionless.

He reached out and tried to pull her into his arms. She melted against him and buried her face in his shoulder. He smoothed her hair and tried to calm her down. He kissed the top of her head and whispered to her.

“Shh…Love. It’s alright.”

“I know. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m just a complete mess. All this new stuff has happened. You’re not a vampire anymore, Dawn’s still this mystical key, and now she’s off in another dimension. My so called best friend is ending the world. Again. And…And Giles and Anya are sleeping together. How freaky is that?” She sniffed, as she burst out into tears again.

Spike tried not to laugh at her, but he couldn’t help it. She looked up at him and pouted.

“Why is it whenever I pour my heart out to someone, they laugh?” She asked, remembering how Giles had busted his gut when she told him the sob story of her life.

“I’m sorry, Pet. It’s not funny…It’s just…Well, yeah, it is funny.”

“No it’s not.” She protested. Then she started laughing a little despite her tears.

He took her face in his hands and began wiping her tears away.

“There’s that smile. Knew it was still there somewhere.” He whispered softy.

She smiled at him, even though she was trying hard not to. He stroked her face softly, and leaned over and kissed the lone tear that ran down her cheek. For a second, she tensed and he thought he had made a huge mistake. But before he realized what was happening, her lips were on his. They were soft and warm, and still wet from the tears that had been rolling down her face.

He kissed her gently, as if he was afraid anything more would frighten her away. He still held her face in his hands and he pulled back to look into her eyes. They were wide, and showed surprise that she had actually been the one to kiss him. He leaned in again and brushed his lips across hers. It was like a tease, and she felt herself wanting more. She reached out and placed her hands on the sides of his face. She pulled him closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and pressed her body against his.

He felt her mouth open to him, and her soft tongue invaded his mouth. This was a kiss like no other they had shared. It was sweet and gentle, but the passion was lying there under the surface. Waiting. He felt as her arms snaked around his neck, and their kisses grew in intensity.

Spike wanted her so badly he was aching. But some part of himself was terrified that all of this was happening so fast. He still had no idea where he stood with her. She still didn’t love him. And why would she? He may be different now, but she still had to remember their past. He knew that he did. And he wasn’t eager to repeat it. He pulled away from her.

“Buffy…” He began breathlessly.

“I know…” She whispered back with her eyes half closed.

He pulled back further from her and sat back against the pillows.

“We shouldn’t.” He told her, completely unsure of himself.

Her eyes opened fully and she stared at him. She had been so lost in their kiss, she had almost forgotten who she was kissing. And why she was kissing him. She needed comfort. Again. And he was there. Again. She couldn’t keep doing this. And furthermore, she shouldn’t want to. But it was more than that this time.

“You’re right. We shouldn’t.” She nodded her head, trying to remember all the reasons why they shouldn’t be doing this.

She stood up from the couch and moved away from him. She had to, or else she might not be able to stop. She had to remember that just because Spike was different now, didn’t mean that they should just forget everything that happened before. They had nearly destroyed each other. And she was afraid that they’d somehow end up doing it again.

“Buffy, I still love you.” He said to her softly.

She looked at him and shifted her feet nervously. He sensed her discomfort.

“I know it probably doesn’t really matter to you. But it’s true. And that’s why we can’t do this. I can’t do this.” He tried to explain.

“We can’t do this because you love me?” She asked confused.

“No, because you don’t love me. And I know you probably never will.” He admitted.

She was silent for a moment as she took in his words. He was wrong. She did love him. She always had in some way. But she could never admit that. She had refused to. But now, her excuses were wearing thin and tiresome. Fighting her feelings was getting to be too much of a burden.

“Never is a long time.” She whispered softly, almost too afraid to speak the words out loud.

“What?” He asked confused. He could feel his heart begin to thump loudly in his chest, and he unconsciously put his hand over his chest, to try and calm it down.

She walked over and sat back down next to him on the couch.

“I’m just saying that I don’t know what I’m feeling. Everything is so amazingly confusing right now. This thing with you? It’s at the top of the list.” She told him.

“I wasn’t trying to make things worse.” He said regretfully.

“You’re not. Again, you’re the one person I feel like I can talk to. And I know that I really should be hating you still…But I don’t.”

“Maybe you should?” He asked, his guilty conscience speaking for him.

“What happened that night was as much my fault as it was yours.” She admitted softly.

He stood up and faced her.

“No it wasn’t. Don’t ever think that it was. That was me. Not you. I lost it and--.” He protested.

“I know. You did lose it. But I’d been losing it for months. You were trying to help me get it back. I understand that. But you completely screwed up. I trusted you. Too much, I guess. And I think for the first time ever, since I’d known you, you actually scared me.” She told him softly.

Her words made him feel like crying. He hated that he had done that to her. It gnawed inside of him, and he knew he could probably never forget it. And maybe she wouldn’t be able to either.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are. I am too. But I’m still scared.”

“Of me? You’re scared of me? Buffy, I’d never, ever do anything like that again.” He said, trying to make her understand.

“I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of us. We almost killed each other, Spike. And I’m not talking literally, with the whole vampire/slayer thing. I mean, we destroyed each other until there was nothing left but two supremely screwed up people who didn’t know what the hell they were doing. I’m scared that’s all we could ever be.” She confessed.

He sat down next to her again and took her hand.

“Me too. That’s why I did all this. Don’t you see? I never wanted to go back to what we had. I hated it just as much as you did. But I knew nothing would ever change if I didn’t change. I risked everything just so that we might have a chance. A chance at something real.” He told her sincerely.

“You really did all this for me?”

“For us. Well, assuming that there could be an ‘us’ again.”

“Did you just expect I’d fall into your arms once I found out what you did?” She wondered.

“No. I expected you to kill me. Or at least tell me I was a complete git for doing something so stupid. But I hoped that maybe you’d come to accept me one day. Accept me as a man.” He told her.

She looked into his eyes and felt her heart beating faster. He had done all of this for her. So that she would accept him. It was the craziest, most romantic thing she’d ever heard of. And he had made this choice before he had a soul. That was the part she couldn’t comprehend. An evil, soulless monster made a conscious decision to become a man. He could have wished for anything, and this was what he chose. She truly realized how much she had underestimated him before.

“You shouldn’t have done all this for me. I’m not sure I deserve it.” She said shaking her head.

He smiled at her and kissed her hand softly.

“It’s exactly what you deserve.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning, Buffy got up off the couch and stretched. They had fallen asleep there together, while they waited for news about Dawn. Spike looked up at her sleepily.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Alone?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

She smiled and shook her head. She liked that they could still joke with each other, and it was becoming less awkward.

“Yeah, alone. Besides, someone needs to listen for the phone. Come get me if Giles calls, okay?” She told him.

He sighed and closed his eyes again.

“Alright.”

She disappeared up the stairs and Spike rolled over to look at the ceiling. Everything was happening so fast. He had anticipated having to crawl on his hands and knees just to get Buffy to look at him again. But it hadn’t really been like that at all.

He knew now that everything he had done for her had been worth it. He had changed to be someone she could let herself love. And it seemed to be working. He knew deep down, that she would never have gotten close to him again if he hadn’t come back like this. In some ways, that bothered him. But he understood. That was the whole reason he had done this. To get a second chance.

The night he had come so close to hurting her, it suddenly dawned on him that maybe she was right when she said all those nasty horrible things about him. He had tried to change for her. But he still knew he wasn’t really good. But he thought he was good enough. That night, he realized that he was wrong. He could never be good enough, or give her what she deserved, while he was still like that. A vampire can only suppress his tendencies so long, before he snaps. It was amazing that he hadn’t snapped earlier, and done something so horrible that he would have really regretted it.

He knew then that he had two choices. He could do what the demon inside him longed for. He could kill the Slayer, and be rid of her forever. He could have asked the demon in Africa to remove his chip, so he could live evilly ever after, someplace far from Sunnydale. Or he could do what he really wanted. He could be a real person, with a soul. He could have Buffy and they could share a real life together. In the end, that was what he chose. And thinking back now, he realized that the demon had read his thoughts. Deep down on a subconscious level, this was exactly what Spike wanted to become.

He didn’t want to be a dead thing anymore. He wanted a life. He wanted a soul. And he wanted to be everything Buffy needed. And this is what she needed. A man with supernatural powers, just like herself. Someone she didn’t have to protect and worry about. But not someone that was cold and dead and evil. She needed someone who could fight alongside her in the darkness, and then turn around and take her for a stroll on a sunny afternoon. She didn’t exist in the dark like he had always tried to convince them both. She belonged in both worlds. And now, so did he.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and Spike realized he should answer it. It could be Giles or Anya. He opened the door and found Xander standing there with a grin. His grin faded when he saw Spike, his hair messy and his shirt off.

“Oh, it’s you.” Spike said disinterestedly.

“Spike? What the hell are you doing here? And where is your shirt?” Xander asked.

“I took it off. It’s more comfortable sleeping without it.”

“You slept here? With Buffy? Where is she?” He asked as he pushed his way into the house.

“She’s in the shower. And why don’t you just come on in.” Spike added sarcastically.

“You guys are back together?” Xander asked uncomfortably.

Spike just shrugged, not really interested in giving him any information at all.

“Why are you here?” Spike asked impatiently.

“I’m supposed to take Dawn to school. Wednesdays and Fridays I drive her.” Xander explained, still trying to comprehend the fact that Buffy was apparently sleeping with Spike again.

“Oh, well Dawn’s not here. I guess someone forgot to tell you.” Spike said, as he walked over to the couch and sat down again.

“Forgot to tell me what? Where is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s on a mission.”

“A mission? Did she suddenly become Mormon?” Xander asked confused.

“Not that kind of mission, you nitwit. It’s part of the prophecy.”

“The what?”

“Oh boy…You’ve really been out of it, haven’t you? I just assumed Buffy told you.” Spike said shaking his head.

“Okay, told me what? This cryptic act is getting old. What’s going on?” Xander asked getting irritated.

Spike really didn’t feel like getting into this with him. He’d rather Buffy do it. But he listened as the shower upstairs kept going. He wondered if Buffy was gonna drown in there. She’d been up there so long. He supposed women had to shave legs and other sensitive parts, and that could take awhile. He sighed and looked at Xander.

“This is gonna take awhile.” Spike said as he pulled his shirt back on and rummaged in his jacket pocket for his cigarettes. He found them, and headed for the door.

“So, you’re leaving? You’re not gonna tell me?” Xander asked shaking his head.

“Outside, you moron. Buffy doesn’t want me smoking in her house. Or at all…But that’s a whole other issue…Look, you coming or not?” He asked, holding the door open.

Xander nodded and headed outside after him. Spike leaned against the porch railing and lit up his cigarette. He looked at Xander, and started to tell him everything that Buffy had apparently forgotten. Xander was stunned speechless. He shook his head.

“Willow did this? With the resurrection spell?” He asked dumbfounded.

“Yup.”

“And now Dawn’s in another dimension getting some kind of spooky scroll?”

“Yup.”

“Are you messing with me? Cause you know, its really not all that funny. I mean, I know I tried to kill you recently--.” Xander said confused.

“Yeah, you did. Wanna try tossin me out into the sun again? If you’re lucky, I might freckle a bit.” Spike said sarcastically.

Xander just ignored him. He was too confused to even think of something witty to say.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” He asked sadly.

“Don’t know.” Spike shrugged.

Just then, Buffy peeked out the door looking for Spike. Her hair was still wet, but she was dressed now.

“Did Giles call?” She asked, before she saw that Xander was there.

“Not yet, Love.”

“Spike tells an interesting tale, Buff. How come no one told me what was going on?” Xander asked her, with hurt feelings.

“Xander. I-I didn’t see you there. Oh my god…I didn’t tell you, did I? I completely forgot.” She said feeling badly.

“Yeah, I can see how you’d forget to tell me that my best friend is bringing about the destruction of the world again. And that you, Spike and Dawn are some kind of funky trio. It’s not all that important, right?” He said wryly.

Buffy stepped outside and looked at Xander sympathetically.

“It all happened so fast. We just found out about all of this a few days ago. And I just didn’t think. You weren’t around.” She admitted.

“Yeah, I needed a little space. The Magic Box isn’t exactly my favorite place anymore, what with my ex sleeping with your Watcher.”

“Yeah…I know.” Buffy said, looking down at her feet.

“Does Willow know? Does she have any idea what she’s done?” Xander asked them.

“No, and we thought it might be better that way. We don’t wanna freak her out.” Buffy told him.

“Man, this is all unreal…And Dawn? She’s gone?”

“Only for a little while. She’s coming back. And that’s why we need to get back to the Magic Box. To wait for her.” Buffy explained to him.

“Listen, I’m gonna grab a shower myself. You two kids catch up.” Spike said to them.

He gave Xander a small smirk, that seemed to rub in the fact that Spike was in the loop, and he was not. Xander gave him a dirty look and Spike disappeared into the house. Xander looked back over at Buffy.

“I guess there’s a lot I don’t know. Again. You and Spike?” He asked her.

“Xander, please don’t start on that. I’ve got way more important things on my mind right now.” She sighed.

“But you still found a little time to make with the Spike lovin’?”

She just glared at him and he realized that he needed to shut up. He lowered his head.

“Look, I’m sorry. What you do, or who you do, is not my business. I’m being a jerk again, aren’t I?” He asked sheepishly.

“Uh-huh.”

“And again with the sorry. It’s just all of this an awful lot to take in. I’m spinning here, Buff.” He said shaking his head.

“Me too. How do you think I feel knowing my sister is all alone in another dimension? A few months ago I wasn’t even comfortable letting her walk to school by herself.”

“I know. I can’t believe any of this.” He said softly. Then he looked up at her. “Is there something I can do? I mean, I might not be part of the inner circle anymore, but I still want to help.”

“We could probably use all the help we can get. As long as you’re sure you can play well with the others. That includes Anya and Spike.” She pointed out.

“I’m good.” He said, trying to push aside all his petty jealousies and his anger.

“Great. You can come to the Magic Box with us. Giles will fill you in on the details.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Willow stood outside in the garden of the retreat again. This time it was after midnight, and she had her bag slung over her shoulder. She was intending to leave the retreat tonight, whether they wanted her to go or not. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was heading off to though. She had no money, and no idea where she really was. Giles had taken her here, and she had been so out of it when she arrived, she hadn’t paid attention to direction.

But she figured there had to be a main road somewhere, so she set off down a wooded path that led to a driveway. She was walking in quick strides, hoping that no one would detect her and try and stop her. Just then, she looked up to see Warren standing in front of her, blocking the path. She stopped short and stared at him.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.” She said angrily.

“You’re leaving? That’s excellent.” He said with a smile.

“Get out of my way.”

“They want you to stay, but you don’t care about that, right? I mean, you’ve got it all under control.”

She stared at his red misty figure and she felt her hatred for him bubbling to the surface. Her hands started to shake a little and she tried to still them.

“I do have everything under control.” She told him calmly.

He just laughed at her, and she became infuriated. She raised her hands into the air and shot a bolt of energy at him.

“Vanquish!” She shouted, as the energy passed right through his form, and made him stumble back a little bit.

He regained his composure and shook his head.

“That tickled a little. Interesting.”

She was surprised that it hadn’t affected him more. It was a spell that was supposed to vanquish evil spirits, but obviously it hadn’t worked on him. He saw her confusion and he walked a little closer to her.

“You really think that’s gonna be enough to stop us?” He asked.

“Us?”

He smiled and nodded towards the forest on Willow’s left. She glanced over and saw that there were hundreds of spots of red light hovering just beyond where she was standing. Her heart was thumping out of her chest ,and she turned to look at Warren again. But this time he was gone. Something strange was definitely happening. And she didn’t know what it was. Then she watched as the lights in the forest started moving towards her, and she began to panic. She turned and ran back towards the house as fast as her feet would take her.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw the lights swirling around like evil lightening bugs. She threw open the door to the retreat and slammed it behind her. She was out of breath and terrified, but she managed to make it to the window. She peered out. The night was silent and dark once again. The lights were gone, as if they’d never been there.

Just then, the light to the sitting room where she was standing flipped on. She jumped back and fell onto the floor with a scream. Elizabeth stood over her with a look of surprise.

“Willow? What on earth are you doing? What is wrong with you?” She asked, startled by Willow’s scream.

She scrambled to her feet and faced her elder.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I thought I heard something, and then you scared me.” She stammered.

Elizabeth looked down and saw the packed bag at Willow’s feet, and she frowned.

“You were leaving?”

“N-no. I-I wasn’t leaving. I-I was just…” She tried to explain, then she lowered her head. “There’s something out there. Something is after me.”

“Is it the spirit you saw earlier? The young man that died rather unpleasantly?” She asked, leaving out the fact that Willow had in fact murdered him.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t just him this time. There were others. More. The whole forest was filled with these lights.”

Elizabeth’s face turned pale and she sat down on the edge of the chair.

“The whole forest?”

“Yeah. And I-I tried to vanquish him. I did a spell…But it didn’t work. He said it wasn’t enough to stop them.”

Elizabeth sat there and tried to comprehend what was going on. This appeared to be much more than a simple haunting. The sinking feeling she had in her gut for the last few weeks, was getting stronger. There was a disturbance in the natural balance of the universe. She could feel it. And the events that were taking place now, offered further proof. The only problem was, she didn’t know what to do about it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It had been almost twenty-four hours now, and Dawn was still not back. Buffy was starting to get really worried about her, and she wished she hadn’t let her go. But Giles and Anya assured her it was expected that she might not return immediately. It wasn’t anything to worry about. Yet.

Everyone had been sitting around the shop all day long, and it was no secret that most of them were all bored senseless. Except for Anya, who had been busy with customers most of the day. And Giles, who was still trying to work out all the details of the prophecy. Buffy looked at Xander who was sitting across from her at the table.

“I’m hungry.” She pouted.

“Want me to go on a pizza run?” He offered.

“Yeah. Do you mind?”

“Nah. I’ve already counted the ceiling tiles at least twenty times today. I could use a change of scenery.” He smiled.

“Thanks.”

“You wanna come with? I could use a few extra hands to carry.” He offered, knowing she needed a change of scenery herself.

“I-I don’t really wanna leave right now.”

“Come on. How am I gonna carry all that stuff?”

“Take Spike. He looks bored too.” Anya chimed in as she counted out her cash register.

Spike looked up at the mention of his name. He had been sitting on the steps examining his fingernails for lack of anything better to do.

“What?” He asked.

“No. Spike doesn’t want to get pizza with me.” Xander protested.

“Pizza? It’s about time someone got us something to eat.” Spike said, feeling his stomach grumbling.

“Fine then. You wanna come with me?” Xander asked through gritted teeth. He was not eager to pal around with the former bloodsucker.

“Not really. But I will. You’re paying, right?” He asked.

“Not for you.”

“Okay, if you two can’t even be nice to each other for five seconds I’m gonna strangle you both. Remember what I said about playing nice?” Buffy interrupted, as she raised her eyebrow at Xander.

He sighed and threw up his hands.

“Fine. I’m nice. But--.”

“No ‘buts’ just go. Feed me. I’m starving.” She said with her resolve face.

They both obeyed her commands and headed out the door. Spike turned to Xander.

“Why don’t we just take your car?” He asked.

“Because the pizza place is just a few blocks. I need to stretch my legs.” Xander said as he stared straight ahead.

“Right.”

They walked in silence down the street. Neither one of them were comfortable being alone together. Or even in the same room, but they were trying. Or more specifically Xander was trying. Spike really couldn’t care less. They made it to the pizza parlor and went up to the counter to order.

“We’ll have two large pepperonis and one large supreme.” Xander told the guy behind the counter.

“I want one with just cheese.” Spike spoke up.

“No. I already ordered, and that’s what we’re getting.” Xander protested.

“But I don’t like pepperoni or all that other rubbish.”

“So pick it off. What are you? A vegetarian now?”

“No, I just don’t like it.” Spike insisted.

“Fine. One small cheese pizza for Mr. Picky.” Xander told the man with irritation.

“Thank you.” Spike said exasperated.

“And can we get a couple of six packs of Coke.” Xander asked, then he looked at Spike. “Unless there’s some special beverage your royal annoyingness would prefer better?” He asked sarcastically.

“No, Coke is fine.” Spike said giving him a smug smile.

Xander sighed, and handed over the money. Spike went over and sat in a booth, so that they could wait for the food to be ready. Xander walked over and started to sit down. He hesitated when he realized again who his company was, but he sat down anyway.

Xander started fiddling with the packets of sugar on the table. He was arranging them into a pyramid, to occupy his hands and to have something else to look at besides Spike.

“Always building something, eh?” Spike asked.

“Yup. It beats trying to make small talk with you.” He said refusing to look up at him.

“Why are you such an ass? What have I done to you, anyway?” Spike asked irritated that Xander still wouldn’t give him the time of day.

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” Xander asked giving him an incredulous look.

“I meant what have I done lately. Everyone else seems to be willing to forgive and forget.” Spike pointed out.

“Well, everyone else is apparently brain damaged. I’ve been trying to be tolerant of you because I don’t wanna piss Buffy off. But, she’s not here. And I don’t really care if I piss you off.” Xander said heatedly.

“Are you forgetting that I can kick your ridiculous ass halfway cross town? I’m not helpless anymore.” Spike asked angrily.

“Go ahead. Then we’ll see who Buffy’s pissed at. She might think that just because you’re some kind of super-human now, and you’ve got a soul that you’re a cool guy. But you can’t fool me.”

“I’m not trying to fool anyone.”

“I know how this works. You’ve got a soul now. All those awful things you did before and what you tried to do to Buffy…That wasn’t you, right? I’ve heard the sob story from Angel.” Xander said bitterly.

“Do not bring up Angel. I’m not Angel. And I never said that I wasn’t responsible for what I did. I am. But what do you want me to do about it? Cry? Beg for forgiveness? I was a vampire. We kill people. It’s what we do. How can I be sorry for what I was?” Spike asked.

“You don’t even care about what you did, do you? That soul of yours hasn’t changed anything, has it?” Xander asked.

“Would you really like me better if I was all tortured and useless? If I was curled up in a corner somewhere brooding about all my evil deeds, would that make me forgivable?” Spike asked incredulously.

“No, but at least I’d know you cared.”

“Look, I do care. All the things I did? It’s sickening. What I almost did to Buffy? It kills me. And I’m sorry for it. She knows that. But I can’t change it. It’s in the past. All I can do is move on. You should try it sometime.”

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

“Fine. You know what? I really don’t care. You can hate me all you want. It’s not gonna change anything.”

Xander just stared at him silently seething. Spike was right. Hating him wasn’t going to change anything. And he certainly wasn’t going to convince Buffy she was making a mistake. She was blinded by Spike’s charms. And Xander was too blinded by his biases to realize Spike had any charms at all.

“Fine. You’re right. But if you ever try to hurt Buffy again, I will kill you. And I don’t care if you’re human or not.” Xander told him.

“If I ever try to hurt Buffy again…I’ll let you.” Spike said seriously.

With that, Xander and Spike were silent again. They had formed what would pass for a truce between them. There would be no handshakes or firm embraces of solidarity. But there could be silence. And understanding that the most important thing to either of them was Buffy’s happiness. They could work with that for now.

Finally, their food was ready and Spike helped Xander carry the items down the street and back to the shop. All at once, Spike stopped short. He held his arm out for Xander to stop as well, and ended up nearly tripping him.

“Watch it! I almost dropped the pizzas.” Xander griped.

“Shh…Do you hear that?” Spike asked, his super sensitive ears picking up a strange sound in the night air.

“What? No.”

“It’s a humming or something.”

“It’s probably just a wino humming a jaunty tune to pass the time.” Xander shrugged, still not hearing what Spike heard.

“Not that kinda humming. It’s…It’s coming from under the street.” He said looking down at his feet. They were standing over an open grate that led to the sewers.

“Demon?” Xander whispered, as the humming got louder and he heard it for the first time.

“I don’t know.”

They stepped off of the grate and started moving away from it as the noise got louder and louder. All of a sudden the grate popped straight up into the sky and a mass of red ghostly lights came flying out of the sewers.

Xander dropped the pizzas he was holding and tripped backwards. Spike just stared at the lights, unable to move.

“What the hell is that?” Xander asked, as he tried to bat them away from his face.

“I don’t know.” Spike shook his head, as the eerie lights kept coming.

He grabbed Xander’s arm and pulled him to his feet.

“I don’t know what it is, but let’s get the hell out of here.” Spike said quickly.

Xander grabbed the damaged pizza boxes and they both ran down the street towards the Magic Box. They glanced over their shoulders as they ran, to see if the lights were following them, but when they did, there was nothing there. The street was empty and dark once again. They stopped, and tried to catch their breath.

“Where did they go?” Xander panted.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like that. I hate this bloody town.” Spike muttered under his breath.

“We need to get back and tell the others.” Xander said, as he composed himself and started walking briskly the short distance to the shop.

Spike followed behind him slowly. He had a really bad feeling about what had just happened. It wasn’t as if the lights themselves had caused any actual harm, but it was unnerving. He couldn’t exactly throw down and brawl with something like that.

They opened the door and entered the magic shop. Buffy looked up and saw that they both seemed a little disheveled and the pizza boxes were all smooshed and bent. She sighed.

“I can’t believe this. Did you guys get into a fight? Did you whack Spike over the head with these?” She asked Xander, as she examined the boxes.

“No, I did not.” Xander said, unhappy that Buffy immediately thought the worst about him.

“We were sort of attacked.” Spike informed them.

Buffy’s face fell and she looked at them concerned.

“Attacked? By what? Are you guys okay?”

“We’re fine. But something strange is going down out there.” Xander told her.

“Something strange? What happened?” Giles asked, as he joined them.

“We were walking along minding our own bloody business, when bam! A sewer grate blew off and all of these strange red lights came pouring out. They swarmed us.” Spike explained.

“Yeah, they were like killer bees, only bigger and not bees.” Xander added.

“What did you do?” Giles asked curiously.

“Well, we ran.” Xander shrugged.

“Where are they now?” Giles wondered.

“Gone. They vanished.” Spike told him.

“Giles, what do you think it was?” Buffy asked him.

He leaned against the wall and took off his glasses.

“I’m not certain, but it could be any number of things. The most logical conclusion would be some sort of gas leak. The escaped gases could form what appears to be balls of light and could have enough force to conceivably blow a sewer grate off.” He said matter of factly.

“Nice job trying to Scully that up for us, but we all know logic and Sunnydale are two different things.” Buffy said sarcastically.

Giles sighed. It was no use trying to be the voice of reason.

“Fine. It could be that. Or it could be that the forces of Hell are already beginning to unleash and begin their reign of terror upon Sunnydale.” He said shaking his head.

Everyone was silent for a moment, then Xander spoke up.

“I don’t know about any of you, but I like the first explanation better.”

“Yes, well…” Giles quietly nodded his head.

“You really think it’s already starting?” Buffy asked quietly.

“Possibly.” He said softly.

Everyone was quiet as they tried to absorb that possibility. All at once, there was a loud crackling sound that startled everyone out of their thoughts. A faint blue glow emanated from the training room, and everyone turned to look.

“It’s happening again!” Xander shouted frantically.

“No, It’s Dawn!” Buffy said quickly as she ran towards the training room.

Everyone followed quickly behind. Anya came out from the storage area where she had been busy cataloging inventory. She had heard the commotion.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

“It’s Dawn. She’s back.” Spike told her, as they made their way into the training room.

The blue light gained intensity and began swirling around the circle still drawn on the floor. All at once, it disappeared and Dawn stood before them. She was clutching the scroll and the key she had gone to retrieve. Her long brown hair had streaks of white running through it. Everyone was in awe and couldn’t speak. Finally Dawn looked at them and smiled.

“I’m back. Did I miss anything?” She asked.

Buffy ran into the circle and hugged her tightly.

“Are you alright? You’re not hurt? Are you tired? Oh my god…I’m so relieved you’re back.” Buffy said, with tears in her eyes as she clutched Dawn.

“I’m good.” Dawn squeaked out. “But I can’t breathe. You’re squishing me.”

Buffy let go and stepped back.

“Sorry. I-I was just so worried.”

“I’m okay. Really. And I got the stuff.” She said with a grin as she held out the items.

Giles walked over with a relieved smile and took the items from her. Buffy walked her over to the bench and sat her down.

“Did everything go well?” Giles asked.

“Um, yeah. It was so weird though. The trip was a little bumpy--.”

“Just like I said.” Anya pointed out with a large smile.

Dawn just nodded and continued her tale.

“Anyway, I made it. Quinnith is actually really cool. The people there are really interesting. They all look like ghosts or something. You can see through them. But they aren’t evil.”

“Just like I said. Again.” Anya interjected.

“Yes, Anya we all bow down to your superior wisdom.” Xander said jokingly.

Anya didn’t find it humorous.

“What is that supposed to mean? Are you being sarcastic?” She asked irritated.

“Relax, An, I was just kidding.”

“Oh, so I really don’t have superior wisdom?” She asked putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

“Come on you guys. Stop it. Dawn just got back, she doesn’t need to hear this.” Buffy interrupted.

“None of us need to hear it.” Spike muttered under his breath.

They both relented and Xander back away from Anya. It still killed him to be in the same room with her, and to know that she was seeing Giles now. Sometimes he forgot that she didn’t love him anymore. Sometimes he forgot that it was his fault they weren’t together. But he wished they didn’t always have to argue.

“Dawn, you did a fine job. You were very brave.” Giles said, stepping forward to hug her tightly.

“It wasn’t really as scary as I thought it would be. But my hair is all funky now. You didn’t tell me I was gonna turn into an old lady.” She said, as she examined the white streaks closely.

“You’re not old, you look the same.” Buffy assured her.

“It’s a side effect of the energy barrier. It can turn your hair white. I forgot to mention that.” Anya added sheepishly.

“It’s okay, we’ll fix it.” Buffy said, as she smoothed Dawn’s locks away from her face.

“Yeah, a little Miss Clariol can do wonders.” Spike smiled at her.

She smiled back at him then looked at everyone else.

“I’m starving. I feel like I haven’t eaten in a week. How long was I gone?” Dawn asked.

“A day.” Buffy told her.

“Really? It seemed longer.”

“It did to me too. I’m so glad you’re back.” Buffy hugged her again.

Dawn was enjoying the attention and she was more than a little proud of herself. She had done something that no one else could do. And she had done it right. She hadn’t needed anyone to come to her rescue this time. Instead of being the one left behind while everyone else saved the world, she had left them behind. She was starting to feel really important.

“Do I smell pizza?” She asked finally.

“Yeah. It’s a little damaged though. We sorta had some issues with it.” Xander said with a smile.

“I’m so hungry, I don’t care if you fished it out of the dumpster.” Dawn grinned. Then she gave Xander a worried look. “You didn’t, did you? Cause that would actually be really gross.”

“It’s dumpster free. Promise. Come on.” He said, putting his arm around her, and leading her into the other room. Everyone else followed behind them.

They all sat around eating the squished pizzas while listening to Dawn’s story about her trip. The crisis with the eerie red lights had been forgotten momentarily as she kept everyone interested in her tale.

“And then, there was like this big waterfall. I didn’t know how I was gonna get past that. But then, I realized that there was a cave behind it. And that’s where I found the scroll.” She explained with a mouthful of pizza.

“Was they key with it?” Giles asked.

Dawn nodded, “Yeah, it was there. I just put my hands on the barrier and it disintegrated. It was way cool.”

“Did anything else happen?” Anya asked curiously.

“Well, I met someone.”

“Met someone? You had time for dating?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dawn rolled her eyes.

“No…Not that kind of someone. He was like old and stuff. Plus, he wasn’t human. Anyway, He helped me find the path that led to the cave. But he told me something about what was happening.” She explained.

“What was that?” Giles asked.

“He said that this key and stuff wouldn’t be enough. He said there was more to it. He mentioned some weird words that I didn’t know.”

“What was it?”

“Something like we needed the incorria agiato or something like that. Does that make any sense?”

Giles scratched his head and looked at Anya. She shrugged and shook her head. He looked back at Dawn.

“No, I’ve never heard the term. He said we needed this?” Giles asked.

“He said we couldn’t stop what’s happening without it. I asked him to explain, or tell me where I could get this thing, but he just sort of faded away. Like I said before, these people are all ghosty.”

“Well, I’ll try and look up the term incorria agiato. I have a book on demonic and supernatural languages. Perhaps it’ll be in there.”

“It seems like just when we think we’ve got a chance, we’re missing something else.” Spike muttered unhappily.

“I know.” Buffy agreed softly.

“How much time do we actually have, Giles?” Xander asked him uncomfortably.

He looked at them all and shook his head.

“I don’t know. The events are in motion, but I’ve yet to pinpoint what the final catalyst is to this apocalypse. Something cataclysmic has to arise in order to finish the process that was started. But so far, I can’t find any reference to what it is, or when it will occur. I only know that it will be soon.” He told them all regretfully.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next two days went by and everyone tried to go about their normal lives without thinking about the danger that loomed in front of them. Buffy went back to work, but she had called the school and told them Dawn was still feeling under the weather. The truth was, Dawn refused to go to school until her hair was fixed. She didn’t want to try and explain her new Bride of Frankenstein hairdo to the kids at school.

On her way home from work, Buffy had decided to stop at the drug store and buy Dawn some hair color. She was browsing the aisles when she looked up and saw Spike walk in. He didn’t see her at first, and she watched as he made his way through the store. He was carrying one of those little hand baskets and for some reason, the sight of that made her laugh. But she covered her mouth, so he wouldn’t hear her.

She didn’t know why, but she had this deep need to spy on him and see the kind of purchases he would make. Before, the only thing she could imagine Spike buying was cigarettes, beer and blood. She knew at least one of those things was off the grocery list now.

He walked down the magazine aisle and looked through tabloids for a minute. He chuckled to himself at the headlines and tossed the magazine back into the rack. Then he picked up a Seventeen magazine and glanced through it. He tossed it into his basket. Buffy made a face at his choice, and shook her head.

Then she watched as he picked up a teeny bopper magazine with N’Sync on the cover. He sighed and put that into his basket as well. Buffy was seriously trying not to crack up now. Spike was obviously crazy, and he possibly had a thing for boy bands. She was going have hours of quality material here to make fun of him with.

She watched him turn the corner and end up on the hair color aisle. She suddenly remembered why she was here in the first place, but she was having more fun watching him. He picked up a box of blonde hair dye. He examined it, and then tossed it into his basket. Then he picked up a box of medium brown. Satisfied, he put that in the basket as well. He turned around to leave and ran into Buffy, who had decided to make her presence known.

“What are you doing?” She asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“Buffy? Were you spying on me?” He asked startled to see her.

“Uh-huh.” She admitted.

“Why?”

“Just wanted to see what it was Spike would buy. I have to admit…Seventeen? Teen Beat? Not what I expected.” She said with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes and sighed.

“You think I would read something like that? Please.” He scoffed.

She reached into his basket and pulled the magazines out. She held them up.

“Then what are these? Do you have a crush on Justin Timberlake?” She teased him.

He snatched the magazines out of her hands and shook his head.

“They’re not for me. They’re for Dawn. I stopped by your house, and she said you were at work. She begged me to get her some hair dye. She said you’d forget.” He told her with a smile.

“I did not forget. That’s why I’m here.”

“Then why is your basket still empty? Too busy watching me?” He asked with a smirk.

“Maybe. But I like watching you.” She smiled.

“Hmm…Really?” He asked moving closer to her.

She nodded her head and he leaned into her.

“Are you flirting with me?” He asked.

She stepped away from him and laughed.

“No. You’re not really my type.”

His smile faded and he was a little crushed at her statement.

“I don’t flirt with men who read Teen Beat.” She finished with a smirk.

He realized she was still joking and he felt foolish for believing she was serious. He shook his head.

“It’s not mine.” He told her again.

“Sure. I believe you. And that box of Sassy Platinum isn’t yours either, right?”

He looked down at the hair dye in his basket. He hadn’t paid attention to the poofy name on the box. Or the Marilyn Monroe look-alike on the front. She picked it up and looked at it.

“Gentlemen prefer blondes.” She read the slogan, and started cracking up.

He snatched it from her hand and put it back in his basket.

“Let’s just get out of here.” He said, shaking his head.

She set her empty basket down on the ground, and followed him to the checkout. They waited in line together, and Buffy was still trying not to laugh. For some reason she was in a silly mood. It had been a long time since she’d just let loose and laughed. And now she couldn’t seem to stop.

“Keep laughing. But if the clerk asks, this stuff is for you.” He told her seriously.

“You so are not. I don’t buy Sassy Platinum.”

“Yeah, cause you’re a natural blonde.” He said sarcastically.

“I am.” She answered with a shrug.

Now it was his turn to laugh. He leaned over into her ear.

“I’ve seen you naked, Pet. Blonde, you are not.” He said with a wicked grin.

She punched him on the arm and made a disgusted sound.

“You’re gross.”

“But I’m honest at least.”

She groaned.

“Fine, so maybe I highlight a little. But I used to be blonde. Like when I was five.” She mumbled.

He just laughed and put the basket on the counter. He paid for the purchases and they walked out of the store together. They made their way back to Buffy’s house. He looked over at her and smiled slyly.

“You were flirting with me.” He pointed out to her.

“I was not. I was making fun of you.” She said.

“Well for you it’s kinda the same thing.”

She just laughed and looked away from him. They walked up to her house and went inside.

“Dawn? I’m home.” Buffy called out to her.

Dawn came running down the stairs. She smiled when she saw that Spike was there too.

“Please tell me one of you bought me the stuff to fix my hair.” She pleaded with them.

“Got it. Plus the other things you asked for.” Spike said, holding up the shopping bag.

“Yeah, I ran into your errand boy at the drug store. You didn’t trust me to buy it?” Buffy asked.

“Well, you forgot it yesterday, so…”

“I said I was sorry.” Buffy sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. Spike got it. Are you gonna help me fix it?” She asked him.

“Sure.”

“Hey. What about me? I thought you wanted me to do your hair.” Buffy pouted.

“I thought you’d be too busy doing Spike.” Dawn said with a shrug.

Buffy and Spike both looked at her strangely.

“Doing Spike? I’m not doing Spike.” Buffy asked, her mind immediately springing to the gutter.

“Okay…I thought he was going to ask you, but if you don’t want to, I will. It’ll be fun.” Dawn said not understanding why Buffy was so freaked.

Spike started coughing and Buffy looked at Dawn like she had sprouted a second head.

“Excuse me? Fun? What? You will not be doing anything to Spike.” Buffy said firmly.

“What? What’s the big deal? You don’t think I could do it? I’m not retarded.” Dawn said with irritation.

“What?” Buffy asked, her mind still in the completely wrong place.

“Dawn, I care about you, but--.” Spike started uncomfortably, trying to think of the best way to let her down easily.

“Fine. Whatever. I was just trying to be nice. You can do your own hair, Spike. I won’t touch it.” Dawn said throwing up her hands in exasperation.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, then they both looked away quickly.

“Hair. She’s talking about hair.” Buffy muttered feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

“What did you guys think I was talking about?” Dawn asked, looking back and forth between them. Then it occurred to her where their minds had been. She gasped. “Oh my god! You thought I was talking about—and me? You thought I—With Spike? Eww.” She stammered.

“Sorry, you just blurted out that I was gonna be doing Spike. My mind just went—.” Buffy tried to explain.

“To sex? Geez, obviously you two have a one track mind…” She said raising her eyebrow at both of them.

“Looks like.” Spike muttered, unable to look either of them in the eye.

Buffy and Spike shifted uncomfortably. Buffy was staring at her feet and Spike was suddenly interested in a picture of a tree that hung on the wall. Finally Dawn spoke again.

“So are we gonna do this? The hair?” She asked them.

“Yeah. Okay, let’s go upstairs.” Spike said, shaking off his embarrassment.

Dawn went first and Buffy and Spike followed. She turned to him.

“You really wanted me to do you? I-I mean, your hair.” She asked, slipping up once again.

He smiled at her.

“I can do it myself. The hair—not the other. Though I can do that to…It’s just not as fun.” He smirked.

She stifled a giggle and shook her head.

“You’re awful.”

Later, all three of them were in the bathroom together. In the end, Spike had allowed Buffy to touch up his hair for him, while he helped Dawn put her color on. It was a ridiculous scene, they all realized.

Dawn sat on the floor, while Spike sat on the edge of the tub. Buffy stood behind him inside the bathtub. She was applying his bleach, while he was squirting the brown dye onto the white patches of Dawn’s hair.

“This stuff really smells.” Dawn said, crinkling her nose up.

“I know. I never realized it much before. I guess cause I didn’t really have to breath.” Spike shrugged.

“Hold still. You almost made me mess up.” Buffy scolded him.

“Mess up? How can you mess up? Just squirt it on.”

“Just shut up and don’t move, okay?” She sighed.

Finally, they were all done, and had to wait for the color to develop. Dawn stuck a shower cap on her head and handed one to Spike.

“What’s that? I’m not putting that poofy thing on my head.” He protested.

“It’s supposed to help the color develop faster.” Dawn explained.

“I’ll wait a little longer. I’ve got time. I’m not wearing that.”

“Yeah, cause you don’t look stupid at all now with that purple goop on your head.”

“And you look so wonderful--.”

“Shut up. Both of you.” Buffy rolled her eyes. The she looked at them. “I forgot the timer downstairs.”

“I’ll get it.” Dawn offered as she headed for the door.

Spike and Buffy were left alone and they suddenly realized for the first time where they were sitting. This bathroom wasn’t exactly a place full of happy memories. Spike stood up and moved away from Buffy uncomfortably.

“Maybe I should go see what’s taking her so long.” He said softly.

“She just walked out the door two seconds ago.” Buffy pointed out.

“Right. Then maybe I should just wait downstairs.”

“I don’t want you to get that goop on the furniture.”

He looked down at his feet and said nothing. They both knew why he was eager to get out there. Without Dawn’s presence, the bathroom took on a whole other meaning. Buffy tried to put him at ease.

“It’s just a bathroom Spike.” She said softly.

“I know, but--.”

“I’m serious. It’s okay. Besides, you hardly look threatening with that stuff on your head.” She said with a small smile as she attempted to lighten the mood.

“I look like a ridiculous wanker, right?”

“No…well maybe just a little.” She smiled.

Just then, Dawn came walking back into the bathroom with the timer. She set it on the counter, and Spike relaxed a little. He had been alone with Buffy several times before this, and they had even shared a kiss the other night. But for obvious reasons, returning to the scene of the crime, hit him hard. Maybe even harder than it hit her.

“What’s wrong? Why is your face all scrunched up, Spike?” Dawn asked, suddenly noticing the tension in the air.

Spike looked at her and realized his guilt must be written all over his face.

“Nothing. I think this smell is getting to me.” He lied.

“I can turn the fan on.” Dawn offered as she flipped the exhaust fan on.

Buffy wasn’t sure what to say or do. She felt a little uncomfortable too, but she could see that Spike was more upset than she was. She started cleaning up the mess to try and busy herself. Finally Dawn broke the uncomfortably silence.

“You don’t think I’ll have to go back to Quinnith, do you?” Dawn asked curiously.

“No. I hope not. Why?” Buffy asked, as she tossed the packages of used dye into the trash.

“Well, I don’t want to have to fix my hair again. If I keep dying it, it might fall out or something.”

“Nah, it won’t. I bleached my hair for thirty years.” Spike chimed in.

“But you were all dead and stuff before. That doesn’t count.” Dawn pointed out.

“That’s true. What if your hair starts falling out now.” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Will you two be quiet. My hair is not going to fall out.” He said, hoping that they were wrong.

“Does baldness run in your family?” Dawn asked with a sly grin.

“No. My father had hair. A lot of hair.” Spike protested.

“I actually heard that it runs on the mother’s side.” Buffy pointed out.

“My mum was not bald.” He said rolling his eyes.

“What about your uncles or your grandfather?” Buffy asked.

Spike just stared at her. He had distant memories of his Uncle Thomas. He was completely devoid of any hair. Spike remembered that as a child he would stare at his reflection on the top of Uncle Thomas’s head. His face turned ashen. Buffy and Dawn noticed this and they started laughing.

“Oh my god, Spike. You should see your face right now.” Dawn laughed.

“We’re just joking.” Buffy assured him.

“That isn’t funny. What are you trying to do?” He asked not amused that they tapped into his vainness and were using it as a weapon.

“He’s right Dawn. We should stop. Spike is very sensitive about his looks.” Buffy said in a condescending tone.

“I am not!”

“You are too. I caught you giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror that one time. ‘I am a good looking bloke’. She laughed.

Dawn couldn’t speak because she was laughing so hard at him. Spike was getting irritated. He stood up and walked over to the shower to get away from them.

“We should get a camera right now and take Spike’s picture with that gunk on his head.” Dawn offered with a look of excitement.

“Yes! That would be hilarious!” Buffy exclaimed.

“No! Don’t you dare. Not unless we get a picture of you too.” He protested to Dawn.

Just then, the timer went off and they all stared at it. Spike rushed to turn the water on in the shower, so he could wash it off before any pictures could be taken. He grabbed the shower nozzle and dunked his head into the tub. The purple colored bleach ran down the drain and Buffy pouted.

“No fair. That would have been a great picture.”

“Too bad.” Spike said with a smirk, as he continued to rinse his hair.

“Although this would be a funny picture with him bent over the tub.” Dawn said, as she ran out of the bathroom to find her camera.

Buffy went over to Spike and looked down at him. Before she could say anything else rude to him, he turned and aimed the shower nozzle directly at her face. She gasped.

“Oh! You jerk!” She cried out.

“What? Did I ruin your looks?” He asked with a grin, as her mascara went running down her face. “Quick! Let’s take a picture!” He joked.

She grabbed the shower nozzle out of his hand and sprayed him in the face too. Soon it became a power struggle, as the entire bathroom bared the brunt of their battle. Spike had control of the nozzle and he pulled Buffy’s shirt out a little and stuck it down the front. Effectively saturating her clothes. She grabbed it out and tried to stick it down the back of Spike pants. Just then, Dawn walked back into the bathroom and was surprised at what she saw. Then she started laughing again. She held up her camera and aimed it at them.

“Say cheese!” She told them.

Buffy and Spike turned to the camera with shock. Buffy’s mascara was running down her face like black tears. Her hair was a knotted, wet mess, and her clothes were bordering on see-thru. Spike still had a faint purple tint running down the sides of his face. The flash went off, and they realized that their antics were caught on film forever. Buffy started laughing again. Spike was in awe of Buffy’s rich laughter. He hadn’t seen it much.

It was a stark contrast to the pain and fear he had witnessed in this room months before. If only that night had turned out this well, he thought to himself. Out of instinct, he pulled Buffy to him. He just wanted to be close to her. She looked up at him and saw the smile he had. She remembered the way he had looked that night. Lost, angry, confused, and violent. She couldn’t imagine him that way anymore. That wasn’t him, and it never really had been. She knew that. She leaned over and kissed him, not thinking about Dawn watching them. Or the fact that there was a camera poised to capture this moment for posterity. It didn’t matter.

Dawn smiled and snapped their picture again.

“This one is definitely going in the album.” She said to them happily.

They pulled away from each other but Spike kept his arm around Buffy’s waist. He looked at Dawn and then over at Buffy again. This was his life now. This was what he worked so hard for. This was his family. The three of them against the world. This is what it was all about. It was what they all deserved.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thicker Than Water:

Giles stood in his bedroom, staring at the envelope in his hands. He opened it up and looked at the contents inside. He sighed and put it back down on the top of his dresser. I won’t be needing this now, he thought to himself. He turned around and went into his bathroom to take a shower.

With a flash, Anya appeared in Giles’ bedroom. He had told her he was tired tonight and not feeling well, so he had left the Magic Box early. She had been concerned for him, but he assured her that all he needed was a good nights sleep. Once she closed up the shop, she went back to her place and put on something sexy. She thought she’d make him feel better with some Victoria’s Secret lingerie. It always seemed to work with Xander.

She was hoping he’d already be in bed when she appeared in his room. She was going to climb in with him and do her best to soothe his ills with her feminine charms. But she heard the shower going and realized the surprise would work just as well if she was the one waiting in bed for him. She smiled and went over to the dresser to turn the light down. She reached over to adjust it, when she saw the envelope sitting on top of the dresser. She felt her heart sink when she saw the British Airways logo on the front.

She opened it up and pulled the ticket out. She stared at it and realized it was a one way ticket, leaving Sunnydale tomorrow evening. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she wiped it away. Then the anger set in. Giles was leaving again, and he wasn’t even going to tell her. He was just going to disappear like he had the last time. Her instinctive need for vengeance started bubbling to the surface but she tried to push it away.

Recently, she had come to believe that she had been wrong in the past. She realized all men weren’t evil creatures waiting to torment unsuspecting women. She had faith in the male species again, when she became involved with Giles. But now she feared, in the end, he hadn’t really loved her either. Not the way she loved him. But instead of wanting to rip his insides out and tie him up with them, she was crying. She was hurting because she didn’t want to lose him.

Just then, the door to the bathroom opened and Giles walked out in his bathrobe. He was towel drying his hair and looked up when he noticed the scantily clad Anya standing in his room.

“Anya? My goodness…You look…” He said, trying to find the right words for the outfit she was wearing. Then she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “…terribly sad. What’s the matter?” He finished, concerned for her.

She held up the plane ticket.

“You’re leaving me? Again? And you weren’t even going to tell me?” She asked sadly.

He realized what she was holding and he moved over to her. He put his hands on her shoulders.

“Anya, no--.” He started.

“Is something wrong with me? Am I not pleasing? Why does every man leave me?” She asked tearfully.

“Anya, please. I’m not going anywhere.” He reassured her.

“Then what is this? It’s a one way ticket to London, leaving tomorrow.” She pointed out.

“Yes, I realize that. But, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going. I can’t leave now.” He said, wiping the tears off her face.

She moved away from him and shook her head.

“Because of the prophecy? That’s it, isn’t it? You can’t leave now because Buffy needs you.” She said, shaking her head.

“No…I mean, yes, that’s part of it. But no. I can’t leave because of you, Anya.” He said sincerely.

She looked up at him and sniffled.

“Really? You mean that? You’re not just saying that because you’re afraid I’ll eviscerate you if you break my heart?”

He shook his head and looked at her.

“Of course not…Wait? You’d eviscerate me?” He asked with some concern. He often forgot about Anya’s powers.

“No. Never. You’re much sexier with all your insides firmly where the belong. On the inside.” She smiled weakly.

“That’s certainly comforting…But Anya, you must believe that I love you. I adore you. I purchased that ticket long before we ever became involved.” He reassured her, as he put his hands on her shoulders again.

“Why did you buy it at all?”

“Because, I thought if I didn’t, I’d never leave again. And at the time, I truly believed I still didn’t belong here anymore.” He explained.

“But now you feel differently?”

“Yes. I realize that I probably never should have left. Perhaps none of this would have happened if I had known what Willow was up to. I thought that I was unneeded. Superfluous. But now I see that I still have purpose here. And not just as a Watcher.” He said quietly.

“Because of me?” She asked softly.

He leaned over and kissed her gently. He pulled away and smoothed her hair away from her face.

“Of course it’s you. I never believed that I would find love again. Not at my age.” He admitted to her with a small smile.

She smiled back.

“Neither did I. I mean, once you hit a thousand, the pickings become slim.”

He laughed at that, and she kissed him again. Then she pulled back and stood before him with her arms outstretched at her sides.

“So, do you like my outfit?” She asked him.

He smiled broadly and nodded his head. He was, after all, still a man. And no man could resist a woman wearing black lace and not much else.

“Very much so.” He told her.

“Are you still tired?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

He shook his head.

“Not that tired.” He smiled.

She put her arms around him and they fell back onto the bed together. All thoughts of apocalypse and Giles leaving town, were erased. And that was just fine by them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spike stood in his crypt pacing back and forth. He was barefoot and shirtless, and had a pile of clothes lying on the couch.

“I hate everything that I own.” He muttered as he continued pacing.

“I don’t understand why. You’ve got lots of nice outfits.” Clem offered, as he watched his friend distressing.

“Yeah, but Buffy’s seen them all. And no doubt, they all have some kind of evil memory attached to them. I want this to be perfect.” He explained as he rifled through the pile of shirts.

“Why don’t you just buy something else then?”

“Because, I don’t have enough time. I’m supposed to be at her house in twenty minutes. I should just forget it. I have no idea what I’m doing.” He said miserably. He plunked down roughly in his chair, and held his face in his hands.

“Have you ever been on a date before?” Clem asked curiously.

“With Buffy?”

“Or at all?”

Spike shook his head.

“No. Not really. The only time Buffy ever allowed me to take her anywhere, we came to the bar. And I played kitten poker with you and she got pissed off and ran out. She was also completely drunk.” Spike remembered.

“Yeah, she was a firecracker alright. I didn’t really like her.” Clem shook his head.

“Most demons don’t. She is the Slayer after all. But she grows on you.” Spike smiled, as he thought of her.

“Yeah, she does. Plus, she is real pretty. For a human anyway.” Clem added.

“She is pretty, isn’t she? She’s beautiful.” Spike responded still in awe that she was willing to be with him.

“You should just relax, Spike. I don’t think she’s going to care what you’re wearing.” Clem assured him.

“I know. But I told her I wanted to take her out and prove to her that I was different. I thought maybe I should look different too.”

“But she seems to like the way you look.”

Spike thought for a moment and realized Clem was right. He was trying too hard, and he was only going to make a fool of himself. He just wanted everything to be perfect. Buffy was allowing him back into her life, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t make any mistakes this time.

“You’re right. I’m being ridiculous. I’ll just wear this.” He said grabbing a blue shirt out of the pile and pulling it on.

He looked at himself in the mirror and tried to get his self confidence back. He buttoned it up and put on his shoes. He turned to Clem.

“You look real nice. She should be impressed.” Clem smiled.

“Thanks. Now what about these flowers?” He asked as he held up a bouquet of yellow and purple wildflowers.

“They’re nice too.”

“Yeah, but is it too much? Buffy likes flowers, right?”

“I-I don’t even really know her. How would I know what she likes?” Clem asked shaking his head.

“I don’t know what she likes either. That’s the problem.” Spike said, as he sat back down in his chair again.

“Oh! She likes kittens! Remember, when she set all the kittens free that night? Get her a kitten.” Clem smiled happily.

“A kitten? Where the hell am I gonna get a kitten?”

Clem shrugged.

“I-I don’t know.”

Spike shook his head.

“No, I can’t get her a kitten. What kind of man brings a bouquet of kittens to a woman’s house for a first date?”

“I would.” Clem smiled.

Spike chuckled at that and shook his head. He looked back down at the flowers.

“I should have bought the roses. These bloody things look like I picked them off the side of the road.”

Clem just sighed. He wished Spike would hurry up and leave so he could watch television in peace. Spike noticed that Clem had run out of things to say, and he took that as his cue to leave.

“I should go now, right?” He asked him.

“Yes. Have fun and don’t worry.” Clem smiled.

Spike nodded and went out the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy sat in her living room watching the clock. Spike said he would be there at seven, and it was only five after. But she was growing impatient. She tapped her fingernails on the coffee table and Dawn finally groaned and turned to her.

“Will you stop doing that? It’s annoying. I’m trying to watch TV.” Dawn pointed out.

Buffy folded her arms and sighed.

“Sorry. It’s just, he’s late. What if he changed his mind?”

“He’s five minutes late. And he so did not change his mind.” Dawn assured her.

“Are you sure?” Buffy asked worriedly.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s still totally in love with you. You guys were all kissy the other night. What are you worried about?” Dawn asked confused.

“I don’t know. It’s stupid, I guess. It’s just we’ve never actually been on a real date.” Buffy pointed out.

“Yeah, but Buffy, you guys were sleeping together. It’s not like you’ve never been with him before.”

“I know. But this is different. What if we can’t be a real couple?” Buffy asked unhappily.

Dawn looked at her sympathetically. She touched her arm.

“Buffy, you kinda already are. I mean, I’ve seen you guys together. It seems real to me.”

Buffy thought about that for a moment, and wondered if Dawn was right. She was just worried that she would somehow mess things up. Her love life had never been successful. She was always either getting her heart broken, or breaking someone else’s. Or both. It wasn’t a great track record.

Somewhere inside of her, she had picked Spike as a safe choice before. He was all wrong for her. He was a vampire. And nothing real could ever happen between them. So at the time, in her eyes, she couldn’t screw it up. It wasn’t a real relationship, so it didn’t matter. But she had screwed it up. Big time. And it had mattered a lot more to both of them than she had ever anticipated. For the longest time, she truly didn’t believe he loved her. She assumed it was lust and infatuation. An itch that could be scratched by sleeping together.

But once she realized there was more to it than that, it was too late. The damage had already been done. And it wasn’t just his feelings that were real, hers were as well. And that had been terrifying. Now not only had she been involved with a vampire again, she actually cared for him. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. But it had.

And now he was human. It changed everything. She could no longer use the excuse that he was evil and soulless, to try and put distance between them. Or use it to distance herself from her own feelings. She had to confront them. It wasn’t his soul that made her love him, but it allowed her to accept the feelings that were already there. She knew she should tell him that, but she didn’t know how.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Dawn jumped up and ran to get it. Buffy stood up and smoothed her clothes down. She didn’t know why she was so nervous. It wasn’t as if they’d never been anywhere together. But this was the first time it felt real to her.

Dawn opened the door and saw Spike standing there muttering something to himself. She looked at him strangely.

“Spike? Who are you talking to?” She asked him.

He looked up startled to see Dawn watching him. He hadn’t even noticed the door open.

“Um, no one. Just myself. Is Buffy here?” He asked awkwardly.

“No. She got tired of waiting.” Dawn deadpanned.

Spike’s face fell and he figured he had already blown it by being late.

“She left?” He asked unhappily.

“I did not leave. Dawn, go be…elsewhere.” Buffy said irritated, as she walked over to the door.

“I was just kidding. Geez, you guys are so tense.” Dawn sighed, as she went up the stairs.

“Sorry about that.” Buffy apologized for Dawn’s misguided humor.

“It’s alright. I guess I am a little tense.” He admitted.

“Me too.” She said softly. Then she looked up at him and saw the flowers he was clenching in his fist. “Are those for me?” She asked.

“What?”

“The flowers?”

“Oh these?” He asked, as he realized the stems were being crushed under his tightening grasp. “Yeah, they’re for you. Unless you hate them…Then they’re not.”

She laughed at his nervousness and nodded her head.

“I like them. But if you keep squeezing them like that, I think I’ll actually be able to hear them scream.” She teased him.

He smiled awkwardly and handed them over to her. She took them and headed towards the kitchen. He just stood at the door and didn’t move. She turned around and looked at him.

“You gonna stay out there?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No. I mean, unless you want me to.” He said, cautiously taking one step into her house, and stopping.

She walked back over to him and put the flowers on the hall table. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked at him.

“Spike, relax. You’re acting all weird.” She said, trying to calm him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to do everything right.” He told her.

“I noticed. But you’re making me nervous. Just be…Spike. Okay?” She told him.

“Okay.” He smiled, feeling slightly more at ease.

She smiled back at him, and picked up the flowers again.

“I’m gonna put these in some water.” She walked towards the kitchen, and this time he followed distantly behind her. “Where are we going?” She asked over her shoulder.

“Um, dinner?” He offered, realizing he didn’t actually have much of a plan. He had been so focused on the fact she said she would go out with him, that he forgot to think about where to take her.

“Sounds good. I’m starving.” She smiled as she grabbed a vase and filled it with water. She put the flowers into it and arranged them.

“I was thinking maybe we could go to this seafood place near the waterfront.” Spike offered. She looked up at him and crinkled her nose. “Except, you apparently hate seafood…” He said, noticing her expression.

“I don’t hate it. I just don’t like to eat it.” She said sheepishly.

“Alright. Well, we could go somewhere else. How about that French restaurant on Main?”

“Do you have a reservation?” She asked.

“No.”

“Well, then we’ll never get in there.” She explained.

Spike watched as the whole evening dissolved in front of his eyes.

“How about that Italian place near the mall?” He croaked out softly.

“Again, reservations.”

Spike realized he was probably the worst date that she had ever had. And they hadn’t even gone anywhere yet. She saw his unhappy expression and she went over to him.

“I don’t care where we go, Spike. Anything that doesn’t involve slaying, cemeteries or apocalypse is a great evening out for Buffy. Trust me.” She reassured him.

“I should have planned better. I didn’t realize you didn’t like seafood.” He told her.

“Well, now you do. It doesn’t matter. Come on, let’s get out of here.” She said with a smile as she took his hand and pulled him towards the front door.

She called upstairs to Dawn.

“I’ll be back later, Dawn.”

Dawn peeked her head around the corner.

“I won’t wait up.”

“Don’t go anywhere, okay?” Buffy told her.

“I won’t. But it’s not like you have to worry anymore. I mean, I’ve been to another dimension by myself.” She said pointedly.

“I know and I still worried about you every second. Tonight, I wanna be worry free. So stay home.” Buffy said firmly.

“Yes, ma’am.” Dawn said rolling her eyes.

Buffy grabbed her jacket off the hook by the door and they set off into the evening. They walked down the street together, and Spike turned to her.

“So where should we go? Since all of my ideas went up in smoke.” He asked her.

“I don’t know. I think there’s a carnival down at the park. Why don’t we just go there? I haven’t had any juvenile fun in a long time.” She smiled at him.

“What about dinner?”

“You can buy me a corn dog.” She shrugged.

“A corn dog? I sort of had something fancier in mind…” He said, disappointed.

“It doesn’t have to be fancy to impress me. I’m not much for those frilly restaurants. I never know which fork to use. I end up feeling like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.” She told him.

“Pretty Woman?”

“Yeah, you know? They go to the restaurant and she ends up launching that snail across the room? That would so be me. Except the whole plate would probably end up in my lap.” She laughed.

“So you’re not an escargot kind of girl?” He smiled.

“Nope. I’m more the corndog and slushie girl.”

“Well, if that’s what you like, that’s what you’ll get.” He assured her with a grin.

They walked on and ended up at the carnival in the park. The lights from the Ferris wheel shone brightly in the night sky. The noises of games being played and children running around permeated the night air. It had been a long time since Buffy had been to a carnival.

“I remember the last time I went to one of these. Dawn was ten and we had just moved here. I didn’t know anyone yet. I remember I won her one of those big stuffed bears. She still has it, I think.” Buffy remembered fondly.

Spike smiled at her story, then he watched her frown a little.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing. It’s just, I realized that never happened. I remember it, but it wasn’t real.” She said sadly.

“That must be very strange.” He said softly.

“It is. I mean, sometimes I have no idea what’s real and what’s not. I mean, maybe all the things I remember about my life never really happened?” She wondered aloud. Then she shook her head. “I can’t think about that. It gives me a wiggins. Let’s just go inside and have fun.” She smiled, as she shook off her false memories.

Tonight wasn’t for pondering the deeper meaning of life, or questioning reality. It was for fun. And that’s what she was going to have. They walked into the fair and went over to a concession stand. Spike ordered them both a corn dog and a coke. They took their food and sat down at a picnic table that had been set up for the event.

They ate their junk food in silence, as they both took in the sights and smells of everything around them.

“Was it good?” He asked, indicating her meal.

“Yummy.” She smiled, as wiped mustard off the corner of her mouth.

They stood up and tossed away their trash, and began walking towards the area that had the games. They stopped when Buffy saw a stuffed bulldog with a spiked collar around its neck. It had a nametag on it that said ‘Spike’. She started laughing.

“Oh my god…Look at this. You so need to take that home with you.” She told him with a giggle.

“I don’t need a stuffed dog.” He said, shaking his head.

“But his name is Spike.” She pointed out.

“I see that. I have a bloody dog’s name, is that it?”

“Well, you have to admit ‘Spike’ is a silly name.” She said honestly.

“Oh, and the name ‘Buffy’ isn’t silly? It sounds like the name for a poodle.” He said sarcastically.

“Shut up. Just for that, I’m not gonna win you the Spike dog.” She pouted.

“Oh no!” He said mockingly, as he grinned at her.

“Fine, be that way.” She said crossing her arms and looking away from him.

For a minute he couldn’t tell if he had really upset her or not. He looked over at her, and touched her arm. Then she smiled at him.

“Let’s go ride the Ferris wheel.” She said, changing the subject completely.

He smiled at her childlike enthusiasm as he followed behind her. They made their way to the attraction and he purchased the ride tickets. They waited their turn in line. The operator let them into their car and locked the lap belt across their legs. The wheel began to turn, and Spike looked over at Buffy. He reached over and took her hand. She grinned at him.

“You’re probably really bored, aren’t you?” She asked him curiously.

“No. Why would I be bored?” He asked.

She shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

“I’m not bored at all. I’m with you. That’s all that really matters.” He told her softly.

They were stopped at the top of the Ferris wheel now, waiting for other people to get on. She leaned over to him and pressed her lips against his gently. He brought his hand up and entwined it in her hair, and pressed her closer to him. Their kiss deepened and Buffy felt like she was spinning. She wasn’t sure if the car was rocking, or if the power of his kiss was making her dizzy.

She moved so that her leg was draped over his and she ran her hand down his back. She could feel his tongue circling hers, and tingles ran down her spine. The taste of him on her tongue made her body ache for him. Finally, she pulled away from him breathlessly. She looked around and realized that they were moving again. The wheel was slowly circling around, and she looked over at him. He smiled at her.

“See? Not bored at all.” He told her.

She just laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. He pulled her close to him and held her tightly. He watched all the people below them, walking and laughing. Families with their children, and young lovers strolling hand in hand. It was a sight that he wouldn’t have paid any mind to before. Not before he had this soul. But now it moved him. He was watching life at its most innocent, pass in front of him. All these people were so happy and oblivious to the danger that surrounded them.

Not only were vampires crawling all over this town, waiting to destroy them. But the end of the world was slowly creeping upon them all. And nobody knew. And now it was his duty as well as Buffy’s, to stop that from happening. He had to save these people, and furthermore, he found himself wanting to. He wanted to preserve this innocence forever, so that none of these unsuspecting souls would ever know that their lives were in danger. That feeling overwhelmed him for a moment and Buffy looked up at him.

“Are you okay?” She asked, as they continued to circle around on the Ferris wheel.

“Yeah. I was just thinking, is all.” He told her.

“About what?”

“About life. I never really realized how much I was missing before.” He said softly.

She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that, but her thoughts were interrupted when they came to the bottom of the wheel. It was their turn to get off. The operator let them out of their car and they set off down the ramp, hand in hand.

They walked down the midway and came to the Haunted House. Buffy smiled and looked up at Spike.

“Okay, we need to go in there.” She told him.

“Why? I doubt after all we’ve seen anything could scare us.” He pointed out.

“I know. But that’s why it’s fun. Just pretend we’re regular people. We can scream our heads off when the mechanical ghost jumps out at us.” She said excitedly.

“You really are a strange girl, you know that?” He chuckled.

She looked down at her feet.

“Last year, I didn’t really think life was worth living. I was miserable. I’m just trying to remember how much fun it can be.” She said quietly.

He understood that perfectly. He nodded his head.

“Yeah, me too.” He agreed as he took her hand and led her to the ride.

They did just as Buffy suggested and screamed their heads off during the adventure. Other people were more frightened of them, than the actual fake creatures of the night. They came out laughing hysterically, and Buffy couldn’t remember a time when she’d had more fun. They spent the next few hours playing games and riding the rest of the carnival rides. They had both loosened up considerably, and were entirely comfortable with each other at this point.

They decided to call it a night when they saw that everyone else was leaving. Buffy ended up winning the stuffed bulldog after all, but she said she was keeping it for herself.

“I thought you said you won that for me?” He asked as they walked back towards her house.

“Nope. You said you didn’t want it.” She told him.

“But it’s got my name on it, after all.” He pointed out.

“Yes, and now it’s mine.” She grinned.

He smiled at her.

“Does that mean I’m yours too?” He asked.

She looked up at him nervously. Any mention of actual feelings, or where their relationship was going, still made her stomach flip.

“I-I don’t know.” She said softly.

He decided not to push it.

“Well, maybe you should get a stuffed poodle to keep him company. You can name it Buffy.” He said with a smirk.

She laughed at that and shook her head.

“Very funny.”

They walked up to her house and stood on the porch together. She clutched her stuffed dog tightly and looked down at her shoes. He looked down at his shoes as well. The end of an evening was always awkward, Buffy thought. She didn’t know whether she should invite him inside, or just tell him goodnight. If she invited him inside, there was no telling what would happen next. But she had a pretty good idea it would involve the taking off of clothes, and attempting to be really quiet so Dawn couldn’t hear them ravaging each other.

She should probably just say goodnight to him now. It was the safe choice. But then she knew that she’d go inside and wish she hadn’t let him go. There was no winning here. He sensed the awkwardness that she was feeling and he decided to try and make things easier.

“I should probably go now.” He told her softly.

“Yeah. You should. I-I had fun.” She said with a small smile.

“You did?”

“I really did.” She assured him.

“Good.” He smiled at her. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.” She nodded her head.

She watched as he started to walk off her porch and she felt her heart beating quickly. As if he sensed it, he stopped and turned around. They locked eyes, but neither one said anything. They just started walking towards each other. Buffy threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He almost tumbled down the front steps, but caught the railing with his hand. He steadied himself, and pushed her back against the column of the house.

Their tongues were battling each other, and all the passion that they had kept under wraps, had been unleashed. There was no stopping it now. She whirled him around and pressed him roughly against her front door. Her hands were busily trying to un-tuck his shirt, so she could feel his bare skin against her fingertips. She reached underneath his shirt, and felt his rippling muscles tense under her touch.

He cupped his hands underneath her bottom and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and moaned softly. He turned them so that she was propped against the door, and he kissed his way down the side of her neck.

“God…I want you. I missed you.” She murmured into his ear.

“I missed you too.” He whispered back to her.

For a moment, neither one of them realized that they were still on her front her porch. In their own minds, they were the only two people in the world. Nothing mattered but finding each other again. But all at once, Buffy opened her eyes and saw a woman standing across the street, staring at them. Buffy pushed Spike away from her and released her legs from around his waist.

“Someone’s watching us.” She whispered to him, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment and desire.

“Who? It’s the middle of the night.” He said, attempting to kiss her again.

“Her.” Buffy said, as she nudged him away, and discreetly pointed across the street.

He turned and saw the woman, staring blankly ahead at them. She was barely visible on the dark sidewalk. Spike turned to Buffy.

“Great. Look’s like someone needs a life.” He muttered under his breath.

Buffy giggled.

“Come on. Let’s go inside.” She said, grabbing his hand, as she fumbled for her keys.

He bent down and picked up the momentarily discarded bulldog and tucked it under his arm. She opened the door and went inside. Spike turned around to see the if the woman had found something else to stare at, but she was gone. He shook his head, and followed Buffy inside.

“Was she a neighbor of yours?” Spike asked her curiously.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen her before.” Buffy said with a shrug.

“Don’t you think it’s strange she was out so late? By herself?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know. She probably couldn’t sleep.” Buffy offered as she went over to Spike and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t you think it was odd she just stood there and stared?” He asked her.

She groaned and looked up at him.

“Is this what you want to do? Talk about my wacky, voyeuristic, insomniac neighbor?”

He looked down at his now open shirt, and realized he was ruining a perfect moment with all his pointless questions. He shook his head.

“No. I’d much rather do this.” He said, as he leaned over and kissed her again.

She pulled back and grabbed his hand. She led him up the stairs and put her finger to her lips.

“Be quiet. Dawn’s asleep, and I want her to stay that way.” She told him seriously.

“I won’t make a sound.” He assured her.

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. But make quiet sounds.”

“That might be hard.” He said with a smirk, as he put his arms around her from behind.

She stifled a giggle and led them quietly into her room. She locked the door behind her and immediately attacked him. She couldn’t contain herself anymore, and neither could he. They fell to the bed and he began kissing his way down her body. She peeled his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. He met her lips with his again, and they kissed hungrily.

She hadn’t felt like this in a long time. They had always been extremely hot together, and his touch never failed to arouse her. All he really had to do was look at her, and she wanted him. But the difference now was, she wasn’t trying to deny it. She wasn’t hiding her real feelings anymore. She wanted this man. She wanted to be with this man. And nothing could stop them now. Except for the thought that popped into her head at this moment. She felt a moment of panic and pushed him off of her.

“Stop. We can’t do this.” She said, as she sat up and shook her head.

“What? What did I do wrong?” He asked, self consciously.

He had been afraid of this moment. Afraid he would do something to frighten her, or remind her of that awful night.

“Nothing. I-I just realized, everything is different now.” She told him.

“What?”

“You’re not a vampire anymore.”

“So?” He asked, not understanding her point. Then he looked at her and shook his head. “That turns you off, doesn’t it? I knew it was the vampire thing that got you going.”

She shoved him farther away from her and glared at him in the darkened room.

“That is not it. I just mean that you’re human now. You’re alive. Which means, everything is alive.” She said with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay…Love, I don’t know what you’re getting at.” He said confused.

“Let me spell this out for you. We can’t do this without some kind of protection.” She said clearly.

“Protection? You think someone is gonna bust in here and attack us for shagging?”

“Oh my god, please tell me that was a joke and you’re really not that brain damaged.” She said rolling her eyes.

“What?”

“Do you want me to get pregnant?” She asked plainly.

He sat up and moved across the bed from her. If the room hadn’t of been so dark she would have seen his face turn white.

“What? Preg—No! Are you mad?” He asked nervously.

“Well, then we can’t do this.”

“Don’t you women take a pill or something?” He asked awkwardly.

“I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because. Why would I? I haven’t had a human boyfriend since like…forever. Why would I need to?” She pointed out.

“That’s true…”

They were both silent as the realization set in. She sighed unhappily.

“So…” She whispered softly.

“Yeah…”

Then he moved over to her again. He kissed her neck softly.

“You know, it’s probably safe. We don’t know that it could even happen. Besides, the world is probably ending soon. It won’t matter, will it?” He asked, trying to be persuasive.

For a second his idea seemed rational to her. She let him kiss her again and she felt her desire building once more. Then she nudged him away from her.

“What if the world doesn’t end?” She whispered breathlessly.

He just lay his head down on her shoulder and let out an unsatisfied breath.

“Yeah…I’m kinda hoping that it won’t.” He admitted.

“Me too.”

They just lay there for a few minutes, holding each other and thinking about how much things had changed. Spike had never considered this possibility before. Becoming human meant a lot more than he ever imagined. Before, they had never had to worry about pregnancy and all that nonsense. They could just give in to their feelings, whenever and wherever they wanted to. And in retrospect, that hadn’t really accomplished anything worthwhile. Maybe now, being forced to think before they acted was a good thing. Taking things slower might be a wise idea. But neither one of them were very good at being wise for very long.

She rolled over and started kissing the side of his face. Her fingers trailed lazily over his bare chest, and she felt him shudder slightly under her touch. Her lips found his again, and they kissed each other softly. After being apart for so long, without ever truly being together in the first place, was more than they could take. All logic and reason left their minds as they tasted each other’s lips again.

Spike rolled on top of her and began kissing the side of her neck, gently nipping the tender flesh behind her ear. She squeezed her eyes shut and moaned softly. Her eyes fluttered open halfway, and they fixed on something in the darkest corner of her room. Her eyes opened widely and she gasped .

“Oh! Spike!” She cried out.

“Oh…Buffy.” He whispered back hungrily, assuming she was in the throes of their passion.

“No, no. Stop! There’s someone in this room.” She whispered hurriedly.

He slowly turned his head and tried to focus his eyes on what Buffy was seeing. And then he saw it. The same woman who had been watching them before, was now standing in the corner of Buffy’s room. Spike jumped up off the bed.

“What the bleedin’ hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked the woman angrily, ready to fight her.

“They’re coming.” She whispered in a voice that was decidedly not of this world.

“What? Who’s coming?” Spike asked, still in fighting stance.

“You have to stop them. You have to stop her.” She whispered.

Buffy stood up now and walked over towards the woman.

“Her? Who’s ‘her’? And how did you get in here?” She asked.

The woman only looked at her and slowly faded away into nothingness. Buffy and Spike stood staring at the spot where the woman had been. Now there was only a bookshelf.

“What was that?” Spike asked still unnerved.

“I think it was a ghost. Or something…This is so creepy. She was watching us.” Buffy said, feeling incredibly wigged out.

“She’s one of them.” Spike said quietly.

“One of who?”

“The spirits. The ones we’re trying to protect. She knows what’s about to happen. Heaven will cease to exist if we don’t stop this.” He explained, realizing what the woman’s warning meant.

“You think that’s what she meant?” She asked.

“I know that’s what she meant. We should tell Giles. He needs to speed up this process. We have to find out what we need to do next.” Spike said, pulling his shirt on.

“Now? It’s the middle of the night.” Buffy told him.

“Do you think he’s sleeping?”

“Duh. It’s almost 2am.”

Spike sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed.

“I guess you’re right. Did you know that woman?” He asked her curiously.

“No. I’ve never seen her before. But I guess she’s not my neighbor. Well, not anymore. Guess you were right when you said she needed a life.” She said uncomfortably.

They sat in silence until finally Spike looked over at her again with a familiar spark in his eyes.

“So…Uh, where were we?” He asked with a small smirk.

“Ugh…Forget it. The dead woman in the corner kinda killed the mood. Besides…We shouldn’t.” She pointed out, her head all clear now.

He nodded his head in agreement. They had been snapped back to reality in a major way. They had been about to do something that could have huge consequences. Now was not the time to be throwing caution to the wind and letting their hormones take over. He laid down and covered his eyes with his hands. She lay next to him and stared at the ceiling. They were both completely frustrated.

She realized she could never just spend a normal evening alone with Spike. Or anyone else for that matter. Even in the privacy of her own room, creepy things were lurking. Spouting dire warnings about the end of the world. At least with Spike, he understood. Anyone else would have run out screaming. She rolled over and snuggled next to him. He resisted the urge to do anything more than wrap his arm around her shoulder. She reached over and grabbed the stuffed bulldog, and put it between them. As if somehow that would be enough of a barrier to keep them apart. Soon, they fell asleep. For now, just being with each other would have to be enough.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning Spike woke up on Buffy’s bed. He was on top of the covers, lying sideways across the bed. He was clutching something in his arms, and he assumed it was Buffy. He held it tighter and then looked down at it. It was the bulldog. He looked up and realized Buffy wasn’t beside him anymore. Just then, Dawn peeked her head into the room. She saw him lying there still cradling the stuffed animal in his arms. She raised her eyebrow and stared at him.

“Do I need to get my camera again?” She asked with a smirk.

He shot up and looked at her startled.

“Dawn? What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I live here. What are you doing here?” She asked as she put her hands on her hips.

“Um, I was just…I…Where’s Buffy?” He stammered.

She shrugged.

“Shower, I guess. I can hear the water going.”

“Oh.”

“So, you sleep with stuffed animals? That’s sweet.” She said trying to stifle her giggles.

He tossed the dog onto the floor and stood up.

“No. It’s Buffy’s. I was just holding it…Look, I really need to go.” He said, looking for his shoes that he had lost at some point in the evening.

She watched as he searched the floor, and she noticed that his shirt was only half buttoned, and his pants were unzipped.

“So…You spent the night here?”

He looked up at her.

“Sort of.”

“Sort of? What does that mean? Either you did, or you didn’t.” She said matter of factly.

“I did then. But it wasn’t like that. Nothing happened.” He assured her.

Dawn rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Right. Nothing happened? I’m supposed to believe that? Please.”

“I’m serious. Nothing happened.” He told her firmly.

“Why not?”

“Because…We couldn’t.” He said shifting his feet uncomfortably, and looking away from her.

She looked at him strangely and then her eyes got wide.

“Oohh…You mean, you couldn’t? I hear there’s a pill for that.” She offered.

“What? No! I didn’t mean that. I can do it. I can do it all night.” He said making sure he got the point across. Then he shook his head. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Like school? I shouldn’t be talking about this with you.” He said uncomfortably.

“It’s Saturday. And why can’t you talk to me about it?”

“Because. You’re too young.”

“Oh god…Hello? I’m sixteen. Why do I always have to keep reminding people that I’m not a baby?” She asked exasperated.

“Look, I’m sure you’re very mature--.”

“Mature enough to help save the world.” She said proudly.

“Yes, well, still…You’re Buffy’s little sis, and I’m sure she wouldn’t want me discussing this sort of thing with you.”

“Fine. Whatever. If you’re too embarrassed to tell me…” She said with a sigh.

“Tell you what?”

“Why nothing happened. I mean, you still love her right? And you stayed here. All night. What’s wrong with this picture?” She asked pointedly.

“Look, it’s a long story. First, we didn’t have the necessary precautions and such. Then there was a dead woman watching us. And then we fell asleep.” He explained giving her the highly abridged version.

“Huh? You lost me somewhere around ‘dead woman’.”

“Dawn? What are you doing in here?” Buffy asked, as she stepped into the room in her bathrobe.

“I was just talking to Spike.” She said with a shrug.

“Shouldn’t you still be asleep or something?” Buffy asked.

“It’s nine o’clock. I wasn’t tired anymore.”

“It’s alright. I told her nothing happened. Your virtue is still intact.” Spike assured Buffy.

“Did you tell her about the dead woman?” She asked him.

“Okay, what dead woman?” Dawn asked, getting more confused.

“There was a dead woman in my room last night. We think it has something to do with the prophecy. We’re gonna go see Giles this morning.” Buffy explained.

“She was in your room? W-who was it?” Dawn asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know Dawn.”

“It wasn’t Mom, was it?” She asked softly.

Buffy shook her head. Thank God it wasn’t her mother…Buffy thought with a shiver. That would have been even more mortifying.

“No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t anyone I’d ever seen before. But she was trying to warn us about what’s happening.”

“Are we going to be able to stop this?” Dawn asked quietly.

“I hope so.” Buffy told her.

“We will.” Spike told them confidently. “We have to. It’s what we’re here for.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Later, the three of them sat around the Magic Box, as Buffy and Spike told Giles what had happened the night before.

“Giles, we need to do something now. Did you find out what that word Dawn told you about, meant?” Buffy asked.

Giles took off his glasses and sat across from her.

“I did find some reference to it in a book of rare dialects. It’s from an ancient language, used only by the highest of beings. It seems that the term Incorria Agiato is used to describe a bond, or a blending of souls. Usually it’s referred to in terms of families, and blood ties.” He described to them.

“So what does that mean exactly? How can that help us?” Buffy asked curiously.

“Well, as I’ve further studied the prophecy, I’ve come across several other references that allude to family bonds, and the joining of souls.” He explained hesitantly.

“And?” Spike prodded him.

“And…I’m not entirely sure I’ve deciphered it correctly. I’d like to be sure before I attempt to explain further.” He said seriously, as he stood up and walked behind the counter.

Anya put her arms around him and gave him a squeeze of support from behind. He smiled at her appreciatively.

“Well, tell us what you think. Right now, we don’t have anything. And whatever it is that’s going to happen, is already starting.” Spike said impatiently.

“I realize that, Spike. But if this interpretation is correct, it could change everything. And if it’s incorrect…Well, there’s no use talking about it.” Giles tried to explain.

“It’s bad, isn’t it? That’s why you won’t say.” Dawn chimed in softly.

Giles looked at her sympathetically, and shook his head. Then he looked at the three of them. They were staring back at him with expectation and worry. The three of them held the fate of the world in their hands, and he was trying blindly to guide them all. This information he held could alter everything that they believed about themselves.

“It isn’t bad. I promise. I’m just not sure how to explain something I don’t even fully understand myself.” He said to them quietly.

“Try.” Buffy said in a small voice.

Giles looked at Anya. She knew what he what he was going to say because they had already discussed it. He didn’t think it was correct, but Anya had pointed out that it made sense and explained a lot. Giles had to reluctantly agree. He looked back at the three and sat across from them again.

“Alright. Throughout the prophecy, there are many references to family and bonds that can never be broken. Blood bonds. The Trinity holds the most powerful bond known in this dimension. Which is why only they, or rather you three, can stop this apocalypse.” He explained to them.

“Okay, well, we already sort of knew that. Didn’t we?” Buffy asked, not feeling any more informed than she did before.

“Yes, well, we did. But the reason why the Trinity is so powerful is because they are family. They share the same blood, and their souls are connected to each other. Only with the mixing of that blood, can the Incorria Agiato take place.”

“You’re saying we share the same blood?” Spike asked confused.

“Well, Dawn and I are sisters.” Buffy pointed out.

“No. You’re not.” Giles clarified.

“What?” Buffy and Dawn asked together.

“That’s what I’m trying to say. You aren’t sisters. Dawn was created from your essence, Buffy. She’s part of you. Not a sister, but more of a child. An extension of yourself.” Giles told her.

They were all silent for a moment and Spike looked at him.

“Where do I fit in here?” He asked.

Giles looked at him uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

“A child can’t be created without both a mother and a father.” He said softly.

“What? Are you trying to say—What?” Spike asked completely shocked by Giles’ assessment.

“Dawn can’t be Spike’s child. That’s crazy.” Buffy protested shaking her head.

“Well, not in the traditional sense, no. But his essence was poured into her. She was brought to life because of the two of you. And together, the three of you make up that family. The Trinity. Your souls have been intertwined from the beginning.” Giles told them.

“But I didn’t have a soul. Not then. It doesn’t make any sense.” Spike said, as he got up and began pacing.

“You didn’t possess a soul, that’s true. But you had one. Prophecies foretell future events. It was known long ago that you would in fact claim that soul and it would be returned to you. But regardless of that, your essence; the thing inside you that made you who you were, was still there. You felt that connection to the two of them, even before. You must have, or you wouldn’t be where you are now.” Giles told him seriously.

“Giles, what are you saying? Spike and Buffy are my parents?” Dawn asked uncomfortably.

“Well, in theory, I suppose. Apparently, the monks knew of this prophecy. In fact, I’m beginning to suspect it was one of them who sent this to me. And since they knew, they were aware that the Trinity would come to pass. Therefore, the Key had to be created from the other two members, in order to complete the triad.”

The silence that fell over the room was deafening. Buffy could actually hear everyone breathing. She reached over and touched Dawn’s shoulder. Then she looked up at Giles.

“So what does all this really mean? You said something about mixing blood…which sounds icky at best. What else is there to know?” She asked.

“The three of you alone are very capable. You each have your own strengths and weaknesses. But there is a joining ritual. Which will, in a sense, combine all your powers and channel them into each of you.” Giles attempted to explain.

“Is this like that spell we did to defeat Adam? The one where we all joined up to create Super Buffy? Wasn’t that dangerous?” Buffy inquired.

“It’s similar, yes. But not the same. Frankly, I’m not entirely sure what it entails, or what will happen.” Giles admitted regretfully.

The silence fell again, and Spike was reeling. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept of Dawn being a part of him. A part of him and Buffy. And she had been all along. The moment she came to this earth, his entire life changed. He realized that now. It wasn’t just a coincidence that he realized he was in love with Buffy the same time Dawn was created. It was fate. He felt the pull, despite his vampire nature. Something inside him had been altered forever.

Even though in his mind, he had always known the Slayer had a sister. He had memories of her sitting at the kitchen table with Joyce listening to his tale of woe when Dru dumped him. He remembered her standing at the top of the stairs listening in, the night Joyce found out about Buffy being the Slayer. He remembered these things, and he hadn’t given Dawn much thought at the time.

But the reality of it was, those memories were false. The moment he laid eyes on her for real, he had felt the connection. Giles was right. He looked at Dawn and saw himself. The good parts, of course. She had been feisty and headstrong. Brave and determined when she wanted something. She also had the tendency to act without thinking at times. He recognized that. He was drawn to that. And even more so, he wanted to keep her safe. Even before he had promised Buffy he would do so. He had withstood hours of torture to keep Dawn away from Glory, and he would do it again. It boggled his mind, but at the same time, it made sense.

Before he could ponder the reality of the situation further, he was jolted out of his thoughts. The room started vibrating and shaking around them. Instinctively, Buffy and Spike rushed to Dawn and covered her with their bodies. Books and various magical items fell from the shelves. Anya ducked behind the counter and Giles rushed over to her. They cowered behind the counter, and the other three climbed under the table.

Anya turned to Giles with a panicked look in her eyes.

“Our store is being destroyed again. Do you realize what our insurance costs are going to be now?” She asked.

Giles just shook his head and said nothing. The quaking stopped and slowly everyone emerged from where they had been hiding.

“Are you okay, Dawn? You’re not hurt?” Buffy asked her.

“I’m fine. Was that an earthquake?” She asked.

“Yeah, it was.” Buffy nodded her head. Then she looked at Giles. “Earthquake? Giles, I don’t like this.”

“Me neither.” Spike agreed.

“Yes, well, it could just be a regular earthquake. This is southern California.” He offered.

“Right, and the last time you tried to sing me that tune there were three demons trying to end the world.” Buffy reminded him.

“Yes, I remember that.” He said scratching his head.

Anya surveyed the damage and was relived to find only a few broken items. Everything else had survived the quake.

“Thank God. Only the cheap things fell off the shelves.” She said picking up a broken candlestick holder. “These weren’t selling anyway.”

“What are we supposed to do now? Should we do the ritual thing?” Spike asked Giles.

“No. We don’t have anything to fight at this point. We have no proof that this earthquake was anything other than a routine trembling.”

“Well, then how are we going to know when it’s time to do something?” Spike wondered impatiently.

“I’m quite sure we’ll know.” Giles said gravely.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Willow sat in the middle of the forest, laying out a spread of magical items. She had stolen them from the altar room at the retreat. She had been plagued by nightmares after witnessing the red lights and Warren’s continued taunting had gotten to her. She knew she had to fix this. Elizabeth had been right when she said this was Willow’s fault. She had apparently opened the doorway between the living and the dead, and now she had to try and close it.

She returned to the spot where she had witnessed the lights and was now attempting a spell to send them back where they came from. She didn’t have any books to guide her and was hoping she remembered everything she needed to know. The knowledge she had gained from draining the magic books was still with her. But she wasn’t quite sure she possessed the power to complete the spell. But still, she had to try. She was frightened that someone would catch her, so she had to work quickly.

She lit the candles and began reciting the incantation. A gust of wind came along and blew the candles out. She grumbled and cursed under her breath.

“Damn it. Stupid cheap candles.” She muttered.

She lit them again and tried to focus.

“Guardian of Spirits, hear my pleas.” She called out. The earth rumbled slightly underneath her, and the candles blew out again.

“Crap!” She cursed, as she had to stop again and relight the candles. She didn’t understand why they kept going out.

Finally she relit them and started over.

“Guardian of Spirits, hear my pleas. Lend me your guidance. Open the gates and return the evil to--.” She was interrupted by the earth moving underneath her.

The ground began shaking and the candles tipped over, and were snuffed out. Leaves from the trees began falling around her, and she shielded her head with hands. The earth underneath her, began to separate and crack. She jumped up and tried to run, but the momentum of the quaking, knocked her off her feet. All at once, the earth stilled and she looked up at the sky. Thousands of red shapes began floating around her. She looked at the crack in the ground and saw that they were spilling out of it, like fire ants.

She scrambled to her feet and felt the terror rise in her chest. She had been trying to fix things, and somehow made everything worse. She turned to run, and ran into Warren who had been watching her. She was startled, and screamed. Then she realized who it was, and that his form was now solid. He no longer looked like an apparition. She stumbled back and tripped over a fallen log. She stared up at him with fright.

“D-did you do this?” She stammered.

“No, Baby. You did. And again, I have to thank you.” He smiled at her.

“I-I was trying to fix it. I-I didn’t do this.” She protested as she scooted away from him.

He walked calmly over to her and bent down to touch her. He was pleased that his body now had solid form. It was as if he had never died horribly at Willow’s hands. She recoiled from his touch and kicked at him. He grabbed her leg and leaned into her.

“You know, it’s too bad you’re a lesbo. We could have had something beautiful.” He snickered at her evilly.

She spit in his face.

“You’re disgusting! Don’t call me that, you sick ,evil pig.” She growled at him.

“Ah, that’s not nice.” He said, wagging his finger at her.

“You’re not nice. Get away from me, or else this time I’ll rip your limbs off, one by one.” She hissed at him angrily.

“Go ahead. You think you remember how? Now that you’re not juiced up on the dark mojo? Suddenly, you’re not as scary are you?” He taunted her.

She tried to scramble to her feet but he grabbed her arm, and shoved her down. He pinned her legs with his and held her down. Willow felt the bile rising in her throat and wondered what it was exactly that was going through his twisted mind. Was he going to rape her? Kill her? She felt like vomiting at the thought of either one.

“Get off of me! Please, get off of me!” She pleaded, as she tried to wrench herself free.

“You know, this is fitting don’t you think? Here we are in the woods again. Only this time, you’re the one begging for mercy. I kinda like that.” He said, attempting to caress her face. She jerked away and began to cry.

“Ah, don’t cry, Beautiful.”

“Don’t call me that.” She growled at him.

She began to mutter a chant under her breath. Anything to get rid of him so she could escape. But the magic was interrupted by his hand clamping over her mouth.

“It won’t work anyway. You don’t have the power anymore. Kinda sucks, doesn’t it? Well, for you anyway…Not for me.” He laughed. “You know, I was wrong before when I said you weren’t like me. That you were a good person. You really aren’t. You’re just like me. You’re addicted to the power. It made you feel important. I get that.” He told her.

“You don’t get anything about me.” She protested.

“Sure I do. I know what you’re thinking. If you had your black mojo on right now, you’d really make me pay. You’d make me suffer…Again. And you’d enjoy it. Isn’t that right?” He asked.

“Fine then. Yes, I would make you pay. And if you put your hands on me, I swear to God I’ll--.”

“God has nothing to do with this, Sweetie. You think he’s listening to you? He’s not. But I’m listening. You can have the power again. I know you want it. Something big is happening, and you’re part of it. It’s just a question of whose side you’re on.” He explained to her.

“Not your side.”

“Well, suit yourself. You can stay like this, all helpless and frightened. Like a scared little kitten. Which, I have to admit, is very appealing. Or you could join with me. Help us. You’d really see what power is all about.” He told her, as he leaned into her face. His lips threatening to touch hers.

She looked into his eyes and tried not to be drawn in by what he was saying. She struggled to free herself again, but her arms were getting weak. He knew she was tired and drained. He could feel it.

“You can’t stop what’s about to happen. You started it. You should end it. But you can stay here and cry about it if you want. Or you can come with me.” He told her.

“I-I don’t want to go anywhere with you. Y-you’re dead. You’re not even supposed to be here.” She said weakly. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed this was only a dream. A horrible nightmare that she would wake up from.

“You want a little taste? A little preview of what you’re missing?” He asked, as he grabbed her hand. He placed it over the spot where his heart would be, if he had one.

She didn’t struggle. She wanted to see. She couldn’t help it. The power was calling to her. It had never really quieted in her mind. She hated being helpless. And without the power of the dark magicks, she could never be as strong as she wanted. At least that’s what she believed. She had no patience to cultivate her craft. She wanted the power now.

He pressed her palm against his chest and a red glow began to engulf both of them. Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy and she let out a soft cry. The power coursed through her veins and was ten times stronger than any power boost Rack had ever given her. He released her hand and it fell limply at her side. She was panting and her eyes were glazed over with the darkness of his tainted soul.

She looked up at him and smiled. He had awakened the stirrings she had been trying so hard to suppress. What she felt now wasn’t anything like what she had felt before. Not even when she claimed to be the most powerful person that ever lived. This was true power, and in her clouded state she couldn’t muster up the will to care where it came from. She was possessed by the feeling of invincibility.

“You like?” He asked, with a wicked gleam in his eye.

“I like.” She smiled back as she leaned up and kissed him.

The power that he possessed swirled around them both. Melding together, creating a bond. In essence, he was killing her. He was robbing her of everything that made her Willow. But she didn’t care. She would have the power now, and no one could stop her. They pulled out of their deadly kiss and she stared at him with a look of contentment.

“That’s it. See, I knew you were like me. I knew this is what you really wanted.” He smiled evilly.

“You were right.” She agreed, still in awe of the power coursing through her.

“So Baby, let’s get this thing going. Wanna try out your new gift?” He asked.

“Tell me where to start. And this better be good.” She said as she stood up and brushed her clothes off.

“How about ending the world? Is that good enough?” He asked with a sinister smile.

“It’ll do for a start.” She smiled back.

Willow was gone now. Tainted by death and darkness. Her heart still beat and blood coursed through her veins, but it was no longer hers. It was filled with the hatred and venom of a billion tortured souls, just like Warren. She was part of him now. And at this moment, there was no stopping what was to come.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Next