Part 4

Disclaimer: I own none of these wonderful characters. They are all borrowed. Joss and Co. are the Gods, I merely worship.

Summary: Part Four of The Ties That Bind. Buffy is attempting to control her new demony parts with Spike's help. In the process, they are growing closer. But with trouble lurking around the corner, can they ever be safe?

Rating: PG-13 for now…

The Ties That Bind…

Part Four~

Three weeks had passed since the night Buffy had found out about herself. Things had started looking up for her a little. She was trying to settle back into her life. The life she had before all of this crazy stuff had started to happen. She desperately wanted to try and regain some shred of normalcy in this whole far from normal situation.

Willow and Tara had decided to move out of Buffy's house and back into their dorm. There wasn't much reason for them to be there anymore. Buffy had insisted that she wanted things to be like they were before. So it was back to just being her and Dawn again.

Everyone was trying to get used to the idea of what Buffy was and exactly what it meant to all of them. Most of the time, everyone was in a state of blissful denial. It was easier that way. As long as Buffy seemed the same, everyone was willing to suspend disbelief and pretend that she was the same.

As a result, Buffy had told everyone that for awhile, she should patrol without them. No one had seen her vampy side yet, except for Spike. She was a little afraid for them to see. She wasn't exactly sure how everyone would react to actually seeing a slightly vampy Buffy. Until she could learn to better control her changes, she wanted to keep her distance from her friends, at least while she was fighting.

Spike had of course been accompanying her on her patrols. He already knew what she was like and it didn't phase him. They'd do a quick patrol each night, and then head back to his place or her house. Sometimes, they'd use the training room at the magic shop.

Buffy was actually kind of glad that she and Spike could fight each other again. It was kind of nice to have a more unbreakable partner to practice with. And since they weren't actually attempting to kill each other anymore, it gave her time to concentrate on his moves as well as hers. They also spent a lot of time talking about her new demon side. She wanted to learn to control what was happening to her.

They were sitting in her room now. It was still fairly early, and they hadn't been out to patrol yet. It was the start of November now and the sun went down early. Spike was glad because it only meant that he was able to spend more time with her. He thought he was attached to her before, but now in the month that she'd been back, he really couldn't imagine life without her again.

They sat on her bed, both crossed legged, sitting across from each other. Her eyes were closed and he was watching her intently.

"Do you feel it?" He asked her curiously.

"Shh. You're breaking my concentration." She said, not opening her eyes.

She was trying to channel her inner demon, so to speak. They'd been working together to get her to concentrate and feel the changes. She had still only able to make the change when she was fighting, more specifically, when she felt extreme pain.

She thought that if she could control it better, she could be stronger without having to get hurt first. It would have been a lot easier that way. Also, she wanted to be able to stop it from coming out, if she should stub her toe in public or something. Control was the key element, and she was working on it.

As she concentrated, she felt a prickly sensation along the back of her neck. She tried to concentrate on the feeling and bring it forth. She suddenly felt the rush of energy that always seemed to precede her episodes. She felt it envelop her and her eyes sprung open.

He looked at her and smiled.

"You did it." He told her as he watched her transformation.

"I did. I mean, I felt it and I pulled it out." She said with a pointy toothed smile.

He stared at her for a minute and smiled.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Did I do it wrong?" She asked curiously.

"No. It's just, it's a little strange to see you like that." He said softly.

She looked down self consciously. She wanted to shake the features away, but she didn't.

"It's creepy. You don't like it do you?" She asked softly.

He put his hands on her knees and leaned closer to her.

"Buffy, it doesn't bother me. Look at me? You think glowing eyes and some fangs are gonna bother me? You look beautiful." He reassured her.

"Beautiful? You think this is beautiful?" She asked incredulously.

"To me it is. Luv, I am a vampire, remember?" He said rolling his eyes.

"That's true. But I'm still afraid for anyone else to see me. What if Dawn sees me?" She asked sadly.

"It doesn't bother me." Dawn said from the doorway.

She had gone upstairs looking for them, and had pushed the door open quietly.

Buffy looked up at her startled. Her eyes glowed at Dawn.

"Dawn." Buffy said upset that she had witnessed this.

She tried to shake the demon away, but Dawn spoke up.

"No. It's okay, Buffy. You don't have to hide from me." Dawn said reassuringly as she walked over and sat on the bed with them. "So, that's what it looks like? It's not so bad." Dawn shrugged.

"Dawn, I don't want you to see me when I'm like this. It's…It's not right." She said sullenly, as she forced the demon back to the recesses of herself. Her features returned to normal.

"Buffy, I know what you are. I mean, it's not something to be ashamed of. It's not that bad. Besides, we've already been over this. You're still my sister. It doesn't matter." Dawn said giving her a hug.

"It doesn't scare you?" Buffy asked her.

Dawn shrugged.

"No. I mean if you did that and were chasing me around trying to kill me, then yeah, it would scare me. But, otherwise, no. I mean, I spent an entire summer hanging out with Spike. The whole vampire thing? I'm over that." She told her.

Buffy smiled and sighed. She was so relieved that Dawn was as cool as she was. It was heartening. Dawn was almost as un-phased as Spike was about the whole thing. Buffy only wished she could share their nonchalance about the matter. But knowing that she had people who supported her helped immensely.

"So, did you want something, or are you just snooping around my room for fun and sport?" Buffy finally asked, easing the tension.

"I wanted to see if you guys wanted to watch a movie with me or something? I mean, it's Friday night and everyone I know is busy. I'm bored." She said with a shrug.

"Sounds like fun." Spike spoke up with a smile.

"I get to pick the movie." Dawn said excitedly as they all walked out of the room.

"Nothing violent. No horror movies." Buffy chimed in.

"Nothing incredibly girly either." Spike added his two cents.

Dawn looked over her shoulder as they walked down the stairs. She rolled her eyes.

"Are you guys not understanding the concept of me picking the movie?" She asked sarcastically.

They walked into the living room and Dawn went over to the movie cabinet.

"I'm thinking something with Ben Affleck." She pondered thoughtfully over their movie selection.

"Not that wanker. I can't stand him." Spike said groaning.

Buffy shook her head and Dawn shot him a dirty look.

"Just for that, we are definitely watching a Ben movie. Here, I like this one." She said picking the movie off the self.

She stuck her tongue out at Spike and he rolled his eyes at her. Dawn popped the movie into the VCR.

"Which one is it?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Bounce. You know the one where he falls in love with Gwyneth Paltrow?" Dawn told her.

"Oh, that's a good one." Buffy said as she settled onto the couch.

Spike sat down next to her and Dawn headed for the kitchen to make popcorn as the previews rolled. She came back into the room and noticed Buffy and Spike sitting rather close to each other. She smiled and decided to turn out the lights. It might help set the mood better.

She flipped off the lamp.

"Dawn, it's too dark in here now." Buffy complained.

"I like it dark. It's like a real movie then." Dawn explained innocently.

She still hadn't given up her quest to bring her sister and Spike together. She knew that things were definitely looking up for them. They spent a lot of time together, but according to Spike nothing had happened. She might not have believed it, if it hadn't of come from him. She knew he'd never be able to hold back juicy information if there were any.

Dawn settled herself on the floor in front of the TV. She wanted to leave the couch to the would be lovebirds. The movie started and soon they were all engrossed in the story.

Several hours had passed and now Dawn was sound asleep on the floor. Buffy and Spike were also fast asleep on the couch. Spike was leaning over and Buffy was laying on her side with her head against his shoulder. She shifted in her sleep and settled in closer to him as she began to dream.

Buffy was in her bed and suddenly she was startled awake. She sat up and looked around at the darkened room. Spike climbed in through her window and smiled at her.

"What are you doing? Is the movie over?" She asked him curious as to why he was climbing in her window.

"The movie ended a long time ago." He told her as he walked over and sat down on her bed.

"Oh. Well, what are you doing here?" She asked confused.

"Just wanted to give you something." He said with a smirk.

"Well give it then. What are you waiting for?" She asked impatiently.

"You." He said calmly.

"I don't have time for this Spike. Just give it to me." She said feeling frustrated.

He looked at her and smiled seductively.

"Well alright." He said quickly as he pulled her towards him and crushed his mouth to hers.

"Oh Spike…" She murmured in between his passionate kisses.

Buffy's eyes flew open and she practically jumped off the couch. Spike was startled by her sudden movements and realized that they had both been sleeping. Buffy stood in front of him. She was staring at him breathless.

"You okay? Did you have another nightmare?" He asked her concerned. The look on her face was one of complete astonishment.

She looked at him nervously and shook her head.

"No. It wasn't a nightmare. It was different." She said softly.

She cautiously sat back down on the couch, careful to be as far away from him as possible.

"What was it about?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing. It was just a dream. No big." She shrugged.

"Well it must have been something serious. You practically leapt off the couch." He said, wondering why she was being reluctant to share.

Buffy glanced over at Dawn who still appeared to be fast asleep. Then she looked back over at Spike.

"I don't have to tell you everything do I? It was personal." She said defensively.

He looked at her and suddenly got it. She was having a naughty dream. He silently wondered who it was about. He tried not to get his hopes up, but it would have been nice if it were about him.

"Oh, I get it. It was a little naughty, right? Nakedness and all that." He said trying to irritate her.

She felt herself blushing.

"No. We weren't naked." She said shaking her head.

"We?" He asked, his ears pricked up.

Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head.

"I-I didn't mean `we' as in you and me. I-I meant me and…and Ben!" She said quickly.

He looked at her disgusted.

"Ben? That creepy doctor? Glory's better half?" He asked her incredulously.

Buffy made a face.

"No moron. Ben Affleck. Duh? We just watched him in the movie. I guess my mind got a little carried away." She lied.

"Oh. Well, I guess that's better than Glory's Ben." He said slightly disappointed at who had a starring role in her fantasies.

She saw his disappointment and suddenly wondered why she was lying. It really didn't make that much sense anymore. She knew she was starting to feel something for him and she knew he loved her. Why was she running away from this?

She was still uncomfortable with the concept of being with Spike. Sure, the fact that he was a vampire was still there. But now, she sort of was too. It wasn't a real strong argument anymore. Of course, he did still try to kill her and her friends several times. That was a definite reason to be cautious, but it all seemed so irrelevant right now.

In light of everything that had happened just prior to her death and everything that happened after, it didn't seem quite as crucial as it did before. He'd changed, she knew that. But still there was this whole issue with the fact that it was still Spike. He was annoying and obnoxious. He was also rude and crude most of the time. But he could also be sweet and incredibly caring. It was all making her brain hurt thinking about it. She looked at him and sighed.

"I think I'm going to get Dawn to bed and then turn in myself. It's late." She said, deciding it best she just save the true confessions for another time. He didn't need to know about her dream.

He didn't want to leave, but he wasn't going to force the issue. He stood up and walked to the door. She followed him. He turned to her.

"Goodnight." He said with a smile.

"Night." She smiled back.

"We forgot to patrol, you realize?" He said trying to find some excuse to stick around longer.

"Tomorrow. I'm too tired." She said softly.

"Okay. See you then." He smiled and headed out the door.

She closed it behind him and rested her head on the cool wood. She was so confused by her feelings. She wanted to tell him how she felt. But she'd have to figure that out for herself before she could share it with him.

Buffy turned around and saw Dawn sitting up in front of the TV staring at her. Buffy walked over.

"Dawnie. You're awake." She smiled.

"Yeah. Why'd you make him leave?" Dawn asked curiously.

"It's late." Buffy pointed out the obvious.

"Not that late." Dawn said giving her sister a look.

"Dawn, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"Because you are. Why are you pretending you don't like him? As if your dream was really about Ben Affleck." Dawn said rolling her eyes.

"You were listening? I thought you were asleep." Buffy said crossing her arms irritated.

"You guys talk so loud, did you think I could really sleep? Come on, tell me. You dreamt about Spike, right?" Dawn asked her with a smile.

"Dawn, that's none of your business. Besides, I don't like him. Not like that." Buffy protested, lying through her teeth.

"Yeah right." Dawn said flippantly.

"I don't." Buffy said firmly.

Dawn glared at her and raised her eyebrows. Buffy groaned and threw her head back.

"Okay. I like him. Happy now?" Buffy asked her impatiently.

"Yes. Now, just don't mess things up by playing impossible to get." Dawn urged her.

"I'm not." Buffy pouted.

"Yes, you are."

"Dawn, you're starting to bug me. Just go to bed." Buffy told her not wanting to talk about this anymore.

"Fine." Dawn said as she headed up the stairs. "Goodnight."

Buffy sat down on the stairs and held her head in her hands. She had way too much going on in her life right now to even think about this whole thing with Spike.

She still had her whole new demon side to explore. She had Dawn to take care of. She had friends who she'd barely seen since she'd been back. Now wasn't the time to even be thinking about romance, she told herself. Especially romance with Spike.

A few days later, Buffy headed for Spike's place. It was sort of the nightly ritual. She knew it probably wasn't healthy spending so much time with him, but she couldn't help it. They were still working on her demon issues, and he was the only one she felt comfortable patrolling with nowadays.

She flung open his door and marched in. He was sitting there waiting for her. He knew she'd be coming soon.

"Honey, I'm home." She said with a smirk.

He smiled at her. He loved seeing her face every time she walked through that door. He didn't think he could ever get tired of it.

"So Luv, what's the plan for tonight?" He asked her wondering what she had in mind.

"I don't know. Patrol I guess." She shrugged.

"Okay. I'll get my coat." He said grabbing his duster.

They walked out together into the night air. It was unusually cold for early November, especially in Sunnydale. Buffy folded her arms across her chest tightly as they walked, to try and keep her body heat in.

"It's freezing out here tonight." She complained.

"I didn't really notice. One of the perks of not having a body temperature." Spike chuckled.

"How come I didn't inherit that handy little trait? Must be nice. It'd cut down on heating and air conditioning costs, that's for sure." She joked.

He laughed and shook his head.

They walked along together in silence again, trying pick up any unnatural vibes lurking around. They found nothing. It was getting increasingly cold and Buffy looked over at Spike.

"I'm starting to get bored. And I'm turning into a Popsicle." She told him.

"You wanna go home?" He asked, not really wanting to cut their time short.

She thought for a moment.

"Wanna go to the Bronze? It's warm in there. Plus there's music and dancing. I think I wanna try out a new concept tonight. The concept called fun." She said thoughtfully.

"Fun is always good. I could use a drink." He told her.

They walked into the club and found a table. A band played onstage and the dance floor was populated with dancing couples. Spike went to the bar and ordered them some drinks. He walked back to the table and sat down.

"So… How are things going at home?" Spike asked her curiously.

She looked at him strangely.

"You see me every night. You know how things are going." She said laughing at him.

"Well, I know that, but we haven't really talked about how you're adjusting. I mean, taking care of Dawn, and all that. You know, on top of all the other things you're dealing with." He explained.

She sighed and took a sip of her Coke.

"It's fine. We've got a little routine going again. You know, making sure she does her homework, doesn't get expelled, things like that." She shrugged.

"She's staying out of trouble, right?" He asked.

"Yeah. I think so. If she's up to no good, she's being really stealthy about it." Buffy smiled.

"Well, she learned from the best." Spike said thoughtfully.

Buffy glared at him.

"What does that mean? What sort of things did you teach her while I was away?" She asked getting irritated.

"Not much. We just knocked over a few liquor stores, that's all." He shrugged.

She punched his arm and he started laughing.

"Hey!" He said clutching his arm. Then he shook his head. "What makes you think I was talking about me, anyway?"

"You said she learned from the best." She repeated.

"Yeah, you. Have you forgotten what a handful you were at her age? Didn't you burn down a gym or something?" He asked with a laugh.

Buffy's glare softened and she shook her head.

"I seem to vaguely remember something like that." She said sheepishly.

"So see, I'm not the only bad influence on her." He said matter of factly.

"Well, let's hope she adheres to the old adage, `Do as I say, not as I do'." Buffy smiled.

"Good luck with that one." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes at him and focused her attention back out on to the dance floor. She wanted to dance. She hadn't really been out for fun since she'd gotten back. Tonight she just wanted to enjoy herself. She wanted to forget some of the problems that were plaguing her. She wanted to pretend for a minute that she was a real girl again. She looked over at Spike and took a deep breath.

"I'm gonna dance." She announced to him.

He looked at her curiously. Then he shrugged.

"Have fun." He said blankly.

He silently hoped she wasn't gonna go out there and find some brainless jock to dance with. He wanted to dance with her. He was afraid that if he had to see her with someone else, he'd be tempted to rip his own arm off and beat himself to unconsciousness.

She stared at him and noticed he was making no move to get up and join her. In fact, he had a scowl on his face. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Aren't you coming? Or am supposed to pathetically dance by myself?" She asked him.

His scowl melted away instantly. He smiled and got to his feet.

"I was waiting for you to ask nicely." He said to her with a smirk.

"Do I have to do everything? You're supposed to know what it means when a girl says she wants to dance." She said rolling her eyes as they entered the dance floor.

He put his arms around her and yanked her close to him. He smirked at her.

"You didn't say you wanted to dance. You said you were going to dance. There's a difference." He explained, as they moved slowly to the music.

She was a little uncomfortable at how tightly and how closely he was holding her. The most upsetting part about it was that she was only uncomfortable because it felt so nice. She smiled at him.

"Either way, you should have taken the hint." She protested.

"Will you just stop yammering for a minute and dance. You're ruining the mood." He teased her, rolling his eyes.

"There's a mood? I wasn't aware." She said trying to sound bored.

"Well, there would be if you'd stop talking." He said shaking his head.

She glared at him and stomped on his foot.

"Ow. Watch the feet." He said giving her a dirty look.

"Oops, sorry." She said with mock innocence.

They continued to dance in silence. Spike was so into this moment that he never wanted it to end. He couldn't believe he was holding her, dancing with her. It was like one of his fantasies. Except he was pretty sure, they weren't going to end up naked like he usually imagined it.

The song finished and they looked at each other. The next song was a fast paced number. Instinctively, she began to move to the music. Oddly enough, she still hadn't let go of him. His body soon fell into rhythm with hers. They held each other, and swayed to the music.

He could feel her body rubbing against him and he felt his excitement growing. His hands crept down her back until they rested on her hips. She moved them back and forth in a seductive motion. Her arms moved from around his waist, to around his neck. He leaned down closer to her, drinking in her scent.

Buffy had no idea what she was doing with him, but he was enjoying it. That much was obvious. The scary thing was, she was enjoying it too. She felt really alive right at this moment. She wasn't thinking about her life or her problems. She was thinking of nothing else except the music. The music and the man in front of her.

As the song began to end, Spike stared into her eyes. She stared back. He was desperately trying to read what was going on in her mind, and for once he came up empty. He knew what he wanted to see, but he wasn't entirely sure he was right.

The music stopped and the band announced they were taking a break. Everyone shuffled off the dance floor except for the two of them. They still held each other and their gaze remained unbroken. Spike couldn't stand it anymore. He leaned over to kiss her.

Just then, one of the departing band members tipped over a microphone. Loud, screeching feedback permeated the air, causing Buffy to jump back startled. Spike silently cursed the stupid man for ruining the moment. He hadn't thought of killing anyone in awhile, but this man would be first on his list.

Buffy looked completely flustered. She knew what was about to happen and she was going to let it happen. Suddenly she wasn't ready. She silently thanked the band guy for severing the tension.

She walked back to their table nervously. Spike followed her with a defeated look on his face. She sat down and gulped her drink. He sat down across from her and smirked. He could tell she was nervous. In his mind, that meant only one thing. He was getting to her. That thought made him smile. She looked over at him.

"What are you smiling at?" She asked him, trying to avoid direct eye contact.

"Wasn't aware I was smiling. Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

"No. It's just I don't appreciate you leering at me like that. I feel like you're trying to undress me with your eyes." She said crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back.

"Maybe I am." He said crossing his own arms and continuing his gaze.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"Eww. I didn't need to hear that." She said.

"You asked." He shrugged.

"No I didn't. I said it felt like you were doing that. I didn't need confirmation." She said shaking her head and taking another sip of her drink.

"Okay. I'll just sit here quietly and continue. And you can pretend that you don't know what I'm doing." He said smirking at her again.

"Ugh! Will you just stop?" She said with a disgusted look. "On second thought, if it makes you feel better, then go ahead and do it. Cause it's the only way you'll ever see me naked." She added with a wicked smile.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her. He wished she'd just give up the act already. He knew she wanted him. It was obvious every time they touched. The way she was dancing with him out there was not his imagination. She was all over him, and now she was trying to pretend nothing had happened.

They sat in silence for awhile. Buffy wasn't sure what was happening. That dance had kind of freaked her out. She wasn't even aware what she was doing. It was like her body and her brain suddenly separated.

Finally she looked over at the clock on the wall and sighed.

"I'm kinda beat. I think I should get home." She told him.

"Alright." He said standing up with her.

They walked out the door and headed out into the cold night again. She shivered as a gust of wind came up. He glanced over at her and saw her shivering.

"You wanna wear my jacket?" He asked, trying to be gentlemanly.

She looked at him funny, and then shrugged.

"Sure." She was cold. Her own jacket wasn't making the grade tonight.

He took off his duster and draped it over her shoulders. She could hardly believe Spike was offering her his coat. It seemed like such a nice, normal gesture. Something that a real guy would do. He was always surprising her.

They continued to walk slowly towards her house. He looked over at her and silently debated whether or not he should press his luck and try to put his arm around her. To him, it seemed only natural. After that dance, it seemed like a harmless gesture. But she might get mad and push him away. She was unpredictable like that. She turned and saw the look of deliberation on his face.

"Are you plotting something evil?" She teased him.

He smirked at her. He wasn't aware he was being so obvious about his dilemma.

"No. I was just trying to figure out how quickly you'd kill me if I tried to put my arm around you." He said honestly.

She looked at him surprised. That wasn't exactly what she was expecting to hear. She smiled.

"You feel like living dangerously?" She asked him curiously.

"I always do." He replied with a smile.

"Then why don't you try it and find out. I might let you live, but then again, I might not. It's a gamble." She said with a sigh.

He laughed at her and shook his head. He reached over and draped his arm around her shoulders. She relaxed into him and they continued to walk.

"Guess it's your lucky night. I'm too tired to kill you." She said with a smile.

She couldn't understand what she was doing with him. She was flirting with him. It wasn't natural. But, yet, it felt natural. That was what was so disturbing.

They made it to her house and they walked up the steps. She thought about asking him in, but then she stopped herself.

"Goodnight." She said quickly.

"Goodnight." He said giving her a longing glance.

She started to open the door, when he spoke up.

"So where are we going for our next date?" He asked her with a smirk.

"What? This wasn't a date." She protested, with a nervous laugh.

"Yes it was. There were drinks and dancing involved. That's a date." He said pointedly.

She shook her head and smirked at him.

"No. A date means you actually have to spend money on me." She told him.

"I did. I bought you a drink." He shot back at her.

"Yeah, but you borrowed twenty bucks from me yesterday, so technically, I bought myself a drink." She said putting her hands on her hips and giving him a look.

"Good point." He said thoughtfully. "But next time, I'll borrow money from someone else." He added with a smile.

"There won't be a next time. In fact, there wasn't even this time." She said smirking at him.

He walked over closer to her and leaned down to her.

"Face it. We're dating." He said smiling at her.

She looked up at him and started to protest. But suddenly, he leaned in and kissed her. She was stunned. She wasn't expecting that at all. She felt his lips softly pressing against hers and she felt herself shudder. Just as she was about to forget her firm resolve and grab him closer to her, he pulled away from her.

She looked at him with astonishment. She didn't know why he pulled away. She questioned him with her eyes.

"And now we have the goodnight kiss." He said with a smirk.

He turned around and walked off her porch and headed down the walkway. He left her standing there numbly. He had had her right where he wanted her, and he was walking away. She didn't get it. She shook the thoughts out of her head.

"That still doesn't make it a date." She called out with a smile on her face.

He turned and smiled at her. He shook his head and kept walking.

She glanced down and noticed she was still wearing his jacket.

"Wait!" She called out and he turned around. "You forgot your jacket."

He shrugged.

"You can give it to me tomorrow. When I pick you up for our date." He said with a smirk as he proceeded to head further down the street.

"We're not dating!" She shouted out to him, but he ignored her.

He heard her last words and chuckled to himself. She was a tough nut to crack, that was for sure. He wanted her to think about him for a change. Let her suffer a little. He knew she was into that kiss, that was why he broke it off. He wanted her to obsess over it for a little while. Let her see what she was missing. He knew she'd be back for more. He just had to give it a little time.

The next night Buffy stood around her house anxiously. She wondered if Spike were really coming by expecting a date. She couldn't be sure if he was just teasing her or not. She wasn't sure if she'd be relieved if he was joking, or angry. It was all making her stomach tie in knots.

The kiss he'd given her had been gentle and sweet. It was like a tease. There was nothing passionate about it except for the way she felt with his lips touching hers. She just hadn't understood why he had pulled away. The whole thing was driving her crazy.

She went to the window and peered out. The sun had been down for over an hour and he still hadn't shown up. She tossed the curtain back and groaned. What are you doing, Buffy? You're acting insane waiting around here on pins and needles. You've never been this nervous to see Spike before. Relax. She told herself.

Finally she got so irritated that she decided that she'd just go out by herself tonight. Why should she wait around for him? She didn't need him. She grabbed her coat and flung open the door. She nearly ran into Spike who was standing just outside. She gasped, startled to see someone right in her face.

"Ah!" She cried out. Then her face got an irritated look. "You scared me. Don't sneak up like that."

"I wasn't sneaking. I was standing at the door." He explained with a smile. "Where are you rushing off to anyway?"

She shrugged.

"Got tired of waiting for you to show up." She said trying to act like she didn't care.

"You were waiting for me?" He asked amused.

"No." She said quickly, then she rolled her eyes. "Yes. You said you'd be here." She added softly.

"Well, I am here." He smiled.

He was purposely not mentioning the whole date issue. He wanted to see what she would say, if anything. She was so insistent that they were not dating, and if that were true, then she wouldn't be expecting a date. He'd let her mention it if she was interested.

"Fine. You're here. Let's go." She said impatiently.

"Can I have my jacket now." He asked with a smile.

She sighed and went over to the couch where it was lying. She grabbed it and tossed it to him.

"Here." She told him as she walked past him out the door.

She was irritated. He wasn't saying anything about last night and it was bothering her. Clearly, he had just been playing with her. That thought made her a little mad. No make that, a lot mad.

They walked down the street and headed on their usual patrol route. Neither one said anything at first. The tension was getting a little thick and uncomfortable. Buffy looked over at him and sighed as they walked into the first cemetery on their nightly stop.

"So, do you always take your dates to the cemetery?" She asked casually.

He looked over at her and smirked. Finally she was saying something.

"I thought this wasn't a date?" He said innocently.

"Well, it certainly isn't now." She muttered.

"It could be if you wanted it to be." He said casually.

"I never said I wanted it to be." She protested. Then she smiled at him. "But hypothetically, if I did want it to be, you'd have to do a lot better than this."

He stopped walking and faced her.

"I can do a lot better than this." He said moving closer to her with one of his looks that would melt any normal girl. For once it was actually working on Buffy.

He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with anticipation and nervousness. He started to lean in to kiss her and she spoke up.

"I know you're not thinking of actually kissing me. I mean, just because I let you narrowly escape with your life last night, doesn't mean you can do it again." She teased him.

She wasn't sure why she had to open her mouth at all, but suddenly her nerves got the better of her, making her desperate to detract from the mood.

He smiled at her and continued his fiery gaze. He wasn't detracted.

"Well, I did say that I like to live dangerously. Besides, that wasn't even a kiss last night." He told her.

"It wasn't? Seemed like one to me." She said nervously.

"No it wasn't." He said as he leaned in and planted his lips firmly on hers.

She felt herself get weak again at his touch, but this time it was more forceful. His lips were crushed against hers and soon she felt his tongue run across her lips and she instinctively parted her lips to deepen their kiss.

She felt his hands in her hair and she wound her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Every nerve in her body was tingling and this was just a kiss. She couldn't even imagine how intense certain other activities would be with him.

Just then, he pulled away from her again. Passion evident in his eyes as well as hers. She was breathless and looked up at him with surprise.

"Now, that was a kiss." He said with a confident smile.

She looked at him speechless. That was definitely some kiss. She'd never felt anything like it. Finally she managed to speak.

"Not bad." She said with a smile forming across her lips.

Just then, they heard a noise coming from the main entrance of the cemetery. They were standing near enough to the gates to see a large van pull up and three men dressed in black hurry out.

One of them was carrying a large duffle bag and the others appeared to be carrying some sort of weapons in their hands. Buffy turned to Spike.

"What the hell is that?" She whispered to him.

He shook his head.

"I don't know, but they're heading this way." He said uneasily.

They stood there for a moment trying to decide what these men were up to. Buffy got a very bad vibe and grabbed Spike's sleeve.

"Let's get out of here." She said quickly.

They took off running in the opposite direction of the men. The men saw them trying to flee and quickly took off after them. The van sped around to the side entrance where they were heading and cut them off. The driver jumped out and joined the other three men.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other confused and a little afraid. This wasn't their usual forte. These people were clearly human and apparently were after them specifically. Just then, one of the men aimed a large gun at Spike. Buffy's eyes grew wide.

"Look out!" She cried as she pushed him to the ground.

The gun fired and instead of a bullet, some sort of tranquilizer dart shot out and bounced off the fence, missing Spike. The man fired again, this time narrowly missing Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy lunged at the man and knocked the gun out of his hands. Two of the other men, attempted to grab her, but she kicked them away. She used her concentration and her anger to pull her inner demon out. She needed all the strength she could get right now.

She turned and growled at them. It startled her a little because she wasn't used to the feeling yet, but she was working through it. Spike stood up and attempted to join the fight, but he knew these people were human. He wasn't going to get very far without collapsing from the chip induced pain.

But still, he had to make an effort. He punched one of the men as hard as he could across the face. The man flew back and hit the fence. He landed unconscious on the ground. Spike grabbed his head and cried out in pain. Buffy heard him howl and felt herself getting even more riled up.

She hurled a series of punches at one of her remaining attackers. He went down to the ground, just as the other one picked up the dart gun again. Spike lunged for him and tackled him to the ground. The gun slipped out of his grasp, and Spike fought back the pain to grab the gun.

"Buffy!" He yelled out, as he tossed the gun to her.

She reached out and grabbed it out of the air. She aimed it at one of the men, and fired. He clutched his neck where the dart had gone in and instantly fell to the ground unconscious.

She whirled around to see the other two men facing her. One of them had some sort of club in his hand and took a wide swing at her. It connected with her arm, sending the dart gun flying. Pain coursed through her arm and she felt the anger building. Suddenly, she felt completely out of control.

She lunged for them both. Her fists were flying and suddenly she could think of nothing else except hurting these men. She elbowed one in the face and sent him reeling back. She pinned the other man underneath her and grabbed his neck.

"Who are you?" She growled at him.

The man was being choked by her forceful grasp and couldn't speak.

The other man, got to his feet and attempted to pull her off his fallen comrade. She whipped her head around and bared her fangs at him. Before she knew what she was doing, she grabbed his hair and bit him across the cheek. With one hand, she flung him away from her and he smashed into a headstone, out cold.

The man underneath her was still gasping for air, as she had never loosened her grip on his neck. He was starting to turn purple and she yelled at him.

"Who are you? Tell me!" She shouted, completely crazed.

She began to bang his head into the ground in frustration and blind anger. She was out of control completely.

Spike watched as the man struggled to breathe. He could tell that Buffy had completely lost control. He ran up to her.

"Buffy! Stop it! You're going to kill him." He told her with a look of concern.

She snapped her head back and glared at him with her yellow demon eyes. She had blood on her lips from where she had bitten the other man. Spike suddenly felt like he was staring at a complete stranger. It was very unsettling.

Buffy glanced down at the man who was now unconscious, but still alive. She suddenly panicked and released her grip. She jumped off of him and began to tremble. She had almost killed this man. She had bitten someone. What was happening to her?

"Let's get out of here." Spike said grabbing her arm and dragging her with him.

She reluctantly let him pull her. She couldn't stop staring at the man lying on the ground, or the man with blood running down his face from where she had bitten him. She was completely numb with shock at her own actions and she was dragging her feet.

"Buffy, come on. We have to hurry." He urged her.

He knew she was scared. Not so much by the men, but by what she had done. He was a little worried himself. It was as if, for an instant, Buffy was completely gone, replaced by an unknown demon.

She unconsciously picked up the pace and they headed for his crypt. They reached it and hurried inside. She was out of breath and shaking. He eased her down into his chair and looked at her concerned.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

She shook her head.

"No." She whispered. "What happened to me? I-I completely lost it." She said as tears began to fall silently down her cheeks.

"It's alright. You were only defending yourself. It's okay." He tried to reassure her.

"No. It's not okay. They were human, and I-I…I wanted to kill them. I really wanted to kill them." She said, breaking down into sobs.

He went to her and pulled her close. He stroked her hair and whispered to her softly.

"They were trying to hurt you and me. You had no choice but to defend yourself. And I was no help because of this bloody chip. It's not so unusual that you'd want to kill them. Human or not." He tried to soothe her.

"It wasn't just that I wanted to kill them. It was the way I wanted to kill them. I-I bit that guy. I bit someone, Spike. How disgusting is that?" She cried.

"It was a reflex, that's all. You're still new at this. You'll learn to control your instincts better." He said trying to be of comfort.

She pulled back from him abruptly.

"Instincts? I don't want to have instincts where I bite people and try to kill them. Spike, I can't do this." She said desperately.

"Yes, you can. Come on. It's not like you were out for a stroll and decided, `Hey, I feel like eating someone'. You were fighting, you were trying to protect yourself. If this had been a group of vampires or demons, you wouldn't be beating yourself up like this. In fact, they would be dead right now and you wouldn't even bat an eyelash. You need to face up to the fact that not all monsters are of the supernatural variety." He explained to her seriously.

"I know. But…It was the way I felt. It was scary. Out of control. What if it happens again in a less fighty setting? What if Dawn pushes my buttons and I snap and try to bite her? Don't you see what's happening? I'm still dangerous." She said breaking down into tears again.

"No, you're not. It won't happen like that. Buffy, trust me. We'll work through this. Maybe it won't be easy, but you can't give up. Do you know how long it took me to learn how to control this?" He asked her seriously.

"Spike, you had a little help." She said, patting his head to indicate the chip. "Maybe if I had a chip in my head, I'd feel better."

He smiled slightly and shook his head.

"No you wouldn't. You saw me out there. I was completely useless. If you had a chip, we'd both be dead right now, or captured. I'm still not sure what the hell those men were after." He said shaking his head.

"That's true." She conceded.

"It's not just the chip that controls me anyway. It's me. And that's what you need to work on. But please, don't give up and don't be so hard on yourself. Those men were after something, and it wasn't likely that they were looking to take us to tea. Right now, I think we need to focus on who they were and what they were after." He said trying to shift the subject.

She sighed and nodded her head. She was still shaken up but he was right. It wasn't like she flipped out on a bunch of innocent people. It was self defense and she had stopped herself before anyone had died. It was more the way she had felt that was unnerving to her, not necessarily what she had done. He was right though, they had more pressing matters to deal with right now. Like who these people were and why they were so eager to get a piece of her.

The four battered men sat silently around the large table in the cavernous briefing room. They shifted nervously, afraid of the berating they knew they were about to receive. The door opened and four well dressed people entered the room. Three men and one woman stood before the beaten men.

One of the well dressed men stepped forward and drummed his fingers on the table. The noise permeated the room, causing even more tension. Finally he spoke.

"So you failed, I take it?"

"With all due respect Sir…" One of the beaten men spoke up but was interrupted.

"You may call me Quentin." He said with a false smile.

"Yes, well, Quentin, she was far stronger than we anticipated." The man tried to explain himself.

"I warned you she would be. And I warned you that she would not go down without a fight. But honestly, how difficult is it for the four of you to incapacitate one harmless vampire and capture the girl?" Quentin asked calmly, his anger apparent.

"Sir, I mean Quentin, he wasn't harmless. He broke Anthony's jaw." The man protested defensively.

"Is this true?" Quentin asked looking to Anthony whose face was badly swollen.

"Yes." Anthony squeaked out painfully.

"Well, perhaps you deserved it. Your carelessness is inexcusable. Now, she is aware that we are after her. You thought she was difficult this time? Now that she knows we're coming, she's likely to be prepared. Do you realize what we're dealing with?" Quentin asked angrily.

"If I may Sir, what are we dealing with?" One of the men spoke up nervously.

"Yes, she was not human. You said we we're looking for a rogue Slayer. This girl was not human. She bit me." The man with the bite mark, told them.

"And she tried to choke me. She's clearly dangerous. I say we forget about bringing her in and just take her out." The man who had received the brunt of Buffy's wrath, spoke up.

"No. She mustn't be destroyed. Not as of yet, anyway. And she was a Slayer. But now, she's something else." Quentin said giving them all a cold look.

"Something else?"

"She's become part of the very thing in which she fights against. That is why we must locate her, subdue her, and control her. If she's allowed to roam free, there is no telling what she may do." Quentin explained seriously. "Apparently, you incompetents have seen for yourself what she is capable of. She must be controlled."

Just then, the female Watcher cleared her throat nervously and made an attempt to speak.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Mr. Travers, but if I may, I'd like to point out that the girl was likely acting out in self defense." She told them softly.

"So you don't believe she's dangerous?" Quentin asked her incredulously.

"Well, she may be, but I hardly think that tonight is evidence of her true nature. She was being threatened. How would you react if you were being attacked?" She asked pointedly.

"A civil being would not bite another. Nor attempt to choke the life out of them." Quentin told her, impatient with her insolence.

"Well perhaps not the biting, but if it were I, I most certainly would not hesitate to do whatever was deemed necessary to survive." She said confidently.

"This is ludicrous. Are you questioning my authority? Do think we should just allow this creature to roam freely? She is not a Slayer any longer. And she is cavorting with a well known and vicious vampire. William the Bloody? But perhaps that does not concern you. I heard you were quite enamored of him yourself the last time we paid him a visit." Quentin said sharply.

She shifted uncomfortably, but continued to hold her ground.

"I am merely saying that perhaps we should not be using force. Perhaps we should try acting like the civilized people we are supposed to be and go to her and talk with her. She may be more receptive if we weren't trying to attack her." She said calmly.

"We cannot afford to lose time with talk. She must be brought in before she can do any more harm. Until we know what side she is truly fighting on, we cannot just allow her free reign." Quentin explained growing agitated at the conversation.

"And if she fights with us, then we let her go?" The woman asked.

"If we can be sure, then yes. We will let her go. But we must find out more about her before we can make any sort of decision. For now, we lay low. Let her think that the events of last night, were nothing more than a one time ambush. We'll continue to monitor her, and then when the time is right, I will send some more capable gentlemen to do the job." Quentin said calmly looking at the disgraced men.

He was clearly not enjoying this task. He had known for quite some time that this issue would likely present itself. He had hoped it would never go this far. They were no longer dealing with just a girl. She was now something entirely different. The thought actually frightened him a bit. He had been unnerved by her before when she merely possessed some of her powers. Now that she was working at full vampiric strength, she was even more threatening to him.

He had never dreamed that the girl would die and be resurrected. The chances of such a thing happening were completely astronomical. But it had happened. All of the cards had fallen into place. And now, he knew it was his duty to take care of the mess.