Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

I love the time and in between
The calm inside me
In the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out and holding in

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it
As long as I can be
Left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand?

(Sarah McLachlan, Album - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)
Thanks also to Emma for suggesting this way back
when I started FTE, even if it did take me three
months to follow through.
Hope she's still reading.

Dawn was already washed up and waiting in her shortie pyjamas when the DeSoto pulled up in the driveway to the side of the house on Revello for the second time. She pulled the kitchen door open as Spike, Buffy, Wes and Brandon got out of the old car, Brandon passing the keys back to Spike.

“Tara’s making hot chocolate if anyone wants some…” Her words were for everyone but her gaze remained fixed on the teenage boy.

Wes shook his head. “I’ll skip it, thanks. I already had some, earlier. Time to try out that new bed…” He checked his pockets until he found not only the keys for his new home, but those for Spike’s apartment, as well. He tossed the latter to his former host with an underhand throw that the vampire easily intercepted. “If I haven’t thanked you before for …well, everything, just assume I’m doing it now.”

“Probably not.” Wes gave a wry smile of agreement. “…But thank you, all the same.”

Meanwhile Brandon was also saying his goodbyes. “I better go. I didn’t ring to say that I’d be late and it’s quarter to twelve, now.” He cupped Dawn’s face with one hand, his fingers tangling in her hair as he leant in for a kiss, the younger couple taking up the entire doorway so that Spike and Buffy had no choice but to wait for them to finish before they entered the house. Spike tried to summon up at least a snarl, but it was all too obvious that the kid was going out of his way to make Niblet happy and he seemed to plan to keep right on doing it for the foreseeable future. “Call me tomorrow, once everybody’s up and about, and we’ll sort out the homework thing. ‘Kay?” he told Dawn in a soft voice as he rested his forehead against hers at the end of the kiss.

“Will do.” Dawn pulled reluctantly away, Brandon’s fingertips trailing lightly over her cheek as she did so. She reached over for the helmet that they had left on the kitchen counter when they went out for the evening, passing it to him.

“If you two would stop blockin’ the door, then we could get in and leave you in peace to say goodbye,” the vampire finally growled.

“Wh-.” Brandon actually jumped before shifting guiltily out of the way, and Dawn followed him onto the porch.

Spike drew Buffy into the house with her hand wrapped in his and pushed the door to behind them with a booted foot.

Buffy looked up at the grumpy vamp, her eyes alight with laughter. “You do realise that you just left Dawn outside with her boyfriend unsupervised with all of her legs showing and no bra on.”

“Yeah, well, I guess if Lily says we can trust him, I’m goin’ to have to try. ‘Sides, Bit’s less of an exhibitionist than the pair of us.” He turned to Tara who stood, stirring a pan of milk on the stove. “Have a good night, Tinkerbell?”

“Different...” Tara’s gentle smile warmed the whole room. “Definitely different, but fun. Did either of you guys get a chance to talk to Clem’s girlfriend? I’m kinda curious but I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Can’t say as we wanted to get in the way either, but I’ve bumped into her before. Seems nice enough, she plays poker once in a while… But she cashes her winnings in against her bar tab, before you ask… not big on kitty snacks. Works security at a club a few miles out of town.”

“Not one you’re going to be going to in a hurry, pet… Even if it catered to humans, it’s the sort of place I wouldn’t want my lady goin’.” Spike seemed unusually firm in his response and he appeared to be glad when that Tara intervened, changing the subject.

”I don’t know if we’ve got any marshmallows, Spike. Can you live without?”

Dawn slipped back into the room and leant against the door till it clicked shut, an enormous smile on her face

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy’s waist from behind and rested his cheek alongside hers. “I can do without anything but my girls.” Buffy could feel the tiredness that he hid beneath his bright façade. “Well, now that not so tall, dark and pimply’s headed off for the night, if Buffy’ll bring mine up when it’s ready I’m going to go get a bath.”

“He is not pimply. And if you’re going for a bath, at least leave mine and Tara’s toothbrushes and toothpaste outside the bathroom door.”

“She’s already in the bathroom and I put some paper down, but she just went back to sleep on the bathmat as soon as I left her alone.”

“That seems like even more sleepy than the normal puppy thing. You didn’t feed her booze, did you?” Spike asked.

“Later, Spike. She’s going to be fine, okay? Go, get that bath, and I’ll explain everything when I bring your hot chocolate.”

Spike smiled down at his fiancée as she craned her neck to speak to him. “Ah-hah! So there’s something to explain…”

Spike placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “As you wish, pet. ‘Night, you two.” He gave Dawn and Tara an amiable but half-hearted wave before he headed upstairs.

Dawn watched, waiting until he’d long cleared the room before she commented. “He seems kinda quiet. He wasn’t on the brownies as well, was he?”

Buffy kicked her shoes off and dropped her wrap on top of Spike’s duster as she made her way through the bedroom, a cup of hot chocolate in either hand. Spike had left the connecting door ajar and she pushed it open with her hip.

The vampire reclined in the cast-iron tub as the water level rose toward the overflow. Instead of his normal bustle, he simply lay there letting the warmth from the water soak through to his bones. His head swivelled slowly to watch Buffy’s approach. “Hey, love.”

“Hey, love, to you, too.” She placed both the mugs by the side of the bath and stepped back a few feet. She watched Spike’s face as she reached to slowly undo the zipper on her dress, letting its straps drift from her shoulders and then unhurriedly pushing it down her body to reveal her ivory lace lingerie. She tossed the dress back through the doorway, not looking to see where it landed as she stepped free. “Don’t want it to get wet…” she explained as she sat down on the bath’s edge, reaching across to turn off the faucets.

She slid back towards the head of the bath, her sheer panties already rendered transparent in places by water splashes as she turned to face Spike once more. She reached out with her right hand to cup his face, loving how he nuzzled into her touch as her fingertips pushed into his hair and her thumb traced the scar that marred his eyebrow. Still, her eyes remained fixed on his features, automatically checking for visual cues to his feelings, even though she could feel his love for her in the depths of her soul. Nevertheless, as she leaned forward to press her lips to his, she knew that this was as right for him as it was for her. It didn’t matter whether their lovemaking reached a climax, or whether they simply conveyed the gentlest aspect of their feelings for each other. All that mattered was that they exploited this shared moment of calm in the eye of the storm that seemed to be their lives.

Even as she used her right hand to push against the wall and bring herself back upright, her left hand trailed down Spike’s near arm until she reached his fingertips and they twined with hers, maintaining the contact necessary for their communion.

“So, were you planning on joining me in here, love, or are you just going to tease me to death?” Spike asked his eyes alight with humour, even if his actions were more subdued than normal.

“I think it’s a bit late for that, dead man. I just figured you looked kinda tired for washing yourself, and I owe you one for the other week. And I doubt even…” She paused as her eyes slid down the planes of his chest and even lower, the unadulterated water that filled the tub doing nothing to disguise the effect her semi-nudity had on her lover. “Okay, so maybe you’re not as ill as I thought…though I suspect that under normal circumstances you would probably have just pulled me in rather than issuing an invitation.”

“Guess I’m turning into a predictable old man… An’ the day I don’t stand up an’ salute when you walk ‘round the room in your sexy undies is the day you’ll be able to wash me down the plug-hole with the bathwater.”

“How romantic,” Buffy gently teased, knowing that even if certain parts were willing, it was still more of an automatic reaction and not an indication that the vampire was really well enough to follow through. She lifted their joined hands to her lips pressing butterfly kisses against the back of each finger before turning his hand over to nibble at his extremely sensitive palm. “Just relax and let me do the pampering for once, okay?”

“Good. Now, stay put, and drink your cocoa or whatever it is you Brits call it. I won’t be long.”

Buffy picked up her own cup and padded back through into the bedroom pulling the door over behind her, so that he could hear little bits of what she was doing, but in his less than perfect state it seemed like too much effort to do more than simply wait and see. After several minutes, he heard the first strains of some hauntingly soft music, ‘The Theme from Harry’s Game’ by Clannad, the first track on the tape he had had made up for their night at the ice-rink. Then, Buffy doused the lights in the master bedroom. As she came back through to the bathroom, she flicked the light switch there, too, leaving the tray full of tea-lights that she carried as the only illumination. There were more than twenty of them and she spread them around the room wherever surfaces allowed, in groups of three and four and five.

“This so you can’t see how rough I look? I look bad, right? Promise you’ll sort me out with some make up tomorrow so Bit doesn’t notice…”

“You look fine,” Buffy reassured him. “Damn fine, in fact. And I think Dawn would be even more likely to notice the unprecedented event of you wearing “Golden Glow” foundation than if you look a little pale, though she already commented that you seemed quiet. I really think it might be better to tell her… And even when you were halfway starved, when you just escaped from the Initiative, you were hot as hell. Losing your appeal for this particular member of the opposite sex is the last thing you have to worry about, and you started looking better after you managed to eat something and keep it down.

Now duck.” She set a hand on top of his head, only pushing hard enough to let him know she wanted him to soak his hair. When he re-emerged she tenderly stroked the wet curls back from his forehead and asked the all important question. “Menthol dandruff or camomile for blondes?”

Spike gave a half-wattage version of his normal grin. “I know you like things to co-ordinate, pet, but I never thought you’d be matchin’ up my fags to my shampoo. That said, since it's a choice between that and smelling like silage I’ll go for the minty fresh.”

“You know, not that this thing is going to drag out any longer than I can help… and by the way, Tara is hopefully working her Wiccan way and chanting the chant even as I speak… but purely on the grounds of scientific curiosity, if you did get worse, it’d be interesting to see which quit first, your overly smart mouth or the part that does most of its thinking for it.

Buffy could see what was coming and placed a finger on his lips before he could say anything. “Yep, I called you love. No, I don’t think I’ve used that particular endearment before, at least not without it being a direct response to you, but it’s not like it’s news, and yep, quite possibly I am being more demonstrative than normal because I’m worried about you, but it doesn’t mean I feel any less for you the rest of the time, just that I’m not so comfortable saying it all the time as you are.”

“You don’t have to, cherry pie… I feel it every time we touch, but it doesn’t mean that hearin’ it once in a while isn’t a good thing… A very good thing.”

‘Okaaay!’ Buffy thought, as she watched the tip of his tongue glide over his upper teeth. ‘I’m thinking sexage of some description is most definitely now on the menu for tonight.’

“Slow down, there, cowboy. I’ve got all of that nicely-packaged body of yours to get cleaned up before we start getting you all hot and sweaty again,” She squirted out a little of the jade green liquid onto her palm and having placed the bottle back on the counter she rubbed her hands together before massaging the shampoo into his hair. Her fingertips seemed to knead away tense knots that he hadn’t even known were there. When she had finished to her satisfaction she dipped her hands in the water near his feet to rinse off the excess soap, letting her fingers trail up the inside of his shin and then his thigh as she straightened back up.

Then, somehow, she was in the bath on top of him. Her underwear was soaked, and her hard, dusky pink nipples were clearly visible through the thin, wet lace. She was excruciatingly aware of the way his warm, smooth cock pressed against the bare flesh of her stomach as he ground his hips up against hers.

They were suddenly startled by a loud yelp, and Rogue stood up, shaking violently to rid herself of the water she had found herself lying in, causing Buffy to raise her hands to shield her eyes as water splashed everywhere. The dog gave the couple a baleful look and ambled off into the bedroom out of their line of sight.

“Reckon you can do the rest just as easy from here.” Spike told Buffy as he raised his head for a kiss, finding her palm in the way.

She pushed his head back under the water, running her fingers through the sensuously clinging strands as they were buoyed by the fluid, until the lather had been fully dispersed. Her tiny hands tangled in the wet curls to raise his lips back to hers, claiming the water-warmed flesh in a tender open-mouthed kiss for a never-ending instant. “Reckon I can.”

She reached out to find the citrus scented body wash that seemed to be the least girly alternative within arms’ length. The movement prevented her from supporting her own body weight, and Spike gave a slight gasp as a sharp hipbone seemed to find a delicate spot. Instantly, Buffy’s concern overrode her desire. “Are you okay?”

By way of an answer, Spike let his gaze fall to where her perfectly rounded breasts pressed against his chest through their lace confinement, and bucked his hips, making his dick twitch against her. “I’m more than okay,” he answered in a husky whisper. “Stomach’s just feelin’ a teensy bit worse for wear.”

“Sure?” Buffy double-checked, waiting till he nodded to shift back to her knees. She squirted some of the fruity gel onto a sponge, working it with her hands to make a lather. She lifted one of his legs from the water, washing it with soft, careful, circular motions working her way from his foot to where his thigh was covered by the water, before lowering it again, only to do the same with his other leg.

She kept one hand on the edge of the bath as she leant forward, letting the tips of her breasts brush against his legs and then his body, the lace of her bra scraping delicate trails against his skin, until she could reach to resume her task once more working from his shoulders, down to the water level.

Spike watched as she worked, driven to distraction equally by the tantalising rasp of her nipples against his skin and the look of intense concentration she wore. He pulled the sponge from her hand letting it land wherever it wanted so long as it was out of her reach.

“Don’t think we want to go testing my will-power too long right now, beautiful.” He slid down enough to rinse away the bubbles from his shoulder. “Let’s take this somewhere else?” Spike asked in a husky whisper.

“Whatever you want, Will.” Buffy stood up, offering a hand to help him do likewise, but still somewhat surprised when the proud vampire accepted her help without a fuss. She stepped from the tub, lifting the bath towel that lay neatly folded on the counter and passing it to Spike as he joined her.

She watched his face as she removed first her bra and then her panties, that same look of awe in his eyes as had been there the first time they had come together. She drew the remaining towel from the counter, amused to see that it was much larger than the one Spike was currently using to dry his hair. He’d been pretty confident that she was going to get wet, or maybe he’d been a boy scout in his former life.

She wrapped the soft cotton around her body and then pulled the vamp toward their bed. Spike paused to take in the changes she had made to the room. Clannad had faded out but another ballad had replaced it, the female singer’s voice rich with feeling. There were tea-lights on almost every available surface and the covers on the bed were turned down ready. He smiled as his hearing caught the soft snore that provided a counterpoint to the music, but even when he noticed the wet puppy curled up on the armchair where he had draped his duster, he couldn’t summon up the desire to wake her again and move her.

“Trying to seduce me, baby?” he asked as Buffy led him to the bed, clambering on to kneel in its centre. Spike crawled after her and then over her until she fell back to land with her head amongst the pillows. The vampire wiped a few clinging strands of hair that had become damp from the bathroom’s steam away from Buffy’s face as she considered her reply.

“Yes and no, I thought we deserved a bit of romance. Whether I got lucky wasn’t so important.”

“God, I love you, woman.” The vampire’s words were accompanied by a wash of emotion that had Buffy blinking away her tears before they could fall.

She parted her lips even as he bowed his head to hers, the intensity of the emotions behind that tender taste enough to cause the first spasms to run through her body as it anticipated their union. She slipped an arm around his neck, the other wrapping around his waist as she drew him down to her before rolling them both onto their sides. She hooked a leg over his and pressed against him, her wet lips coating his dick. She rotated her hips slightly as the head of his shaft pressed against her opening.

She drew back from their kiss long enough to whisper in his ear. “Do it, baby.”

His eyes searched her face for affirmation before he pushed with his hips, driving into her with a slow, deep thrust. As Buffy felt him enter into her inch by inch, his girth stretching her, she gave a low moan of satisfaction. She felt safe, cherished even, within his arms. Joining with him was like being home, and she knew he felt it, too. Even as he gave a slight roll of his hips to finish the stroke, pushing that extra few millimetres, making his whole cock move slightly inside her and grinding her clit between them, she felt the first tremors begin. Spike closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip, focusing on the pain until her first, small orgasm had passed, before he began to move within her, concentrating on making her feel every tantalising inch as he moved in and out, trying to draw out this perfect interlude as long as he could, his pace unconsciously matching the tempo of the music that filled the room.

Buffy’s mouth captured his once more, her tongue finding where he had bitten into his own flesh and he knew she must be able to taste his blood. Her hips met his with perfect timing over and over. Their hands skated over the other’s bodies, first in light caresses that ruffled only tiny hairs and made the skin tingle, later those same fingers clutching tight in the intensity of the emotions around them. Spike’s digits curved over Buffy’s shoulders from behind, anchoring her as he pushed up into her. Buffy had one arm wrapped around Spike’s neck, the other she used to grip Spike’s perfect ass using it as well as the leg that hooked around him to draw herself to him again and again. All the physical sensations were as nothing though, beneath the waves of love, need, passion and joy that reverberated through and around the couple.

Buffy shivered in anticipation of the climax she knew was coming soon. She stretched out the hand that was wrapped around Spike’s neck until she could feel where her claim scar had yet to heal. At the first touch, Spike froze inside her for a second and then he shifted his grip on her shoulders so that he could follow her lead, using the acute sensitivity of the spot that symbolised the bond between them so that they both came together, Spike’s roar as audible to everyone in the house as Buffy’s scream.

“I love you so much, baby,” Spike whispered as they both collapsed back onto the pillows.

Buffy didn’t say anything. She simply put her efforts into using the empathic bond between them to convey to her lover how she felt right that instant, and for all the vampire liked to hear the words now and again they could never have intimated quite so clearly the intensity of how she felt.

Buffy melted against Spike's body as he pulled her tight against him, before rolling from his side onto his back, so that she lay atop him. It was a gesture that was swiftly becoming a habit. The vampire was always so reluctant to break apart when they made love, and at the same time didn't want to crush her beneath him. She tucked her head under his chin, her hands making a delicate tracery over his shoulders.

"Sometimes I think I like this part even better than the actual... you know," she half-whispered against his chest.

"And the other times...?" the vampire teased, his dextrous fingers combing soothingly through her hair, freeing it from the pins that had held it.

"The other times, I pretty much don't think much of anything except 'Spike' or 'Oh god'," she admitted with an embarrassed smile. "You?"

"Me? When you're done with me, I feel like I haven't got a single functioning brain-cell left, but, yeah, it's the times like this..." Spike's voice faded away, but thanks to the bond between them Buffy could feel the undercurrent of regret for wasted time without him saying anything.

"I'm sorry." Buffy twisted her neck to brush her lips against his throat.

"Shush, pet. Nothin' to be sorry for. We sorted all that out ages ago. And we're here, now, together... with candlelight and music. I figure this is about as close to heaven as I'll ever get. So no apologies."

"Even if I am sorry?"

"Spilt milk, sweetness, an' if you're gonna dwell on it, then I'm just gonna have to see what I can do to distract you." The vampire flexed his hips and Buffy could feel him stiffening inside her.

"No-o, Spike, please. No more apologies. I promise."

"Well... that's gonna do wonders for a guy's ego," the vampire teased, "when the love of his life is beggin' him not to shag her."

"It's not like that, Spike. I just think maybe if something's attacking you, that perhaps you should conserve your energy a bit."

"An' if I can't keep my woman happy and sated then what the bleedin' hell is it meant to be worth conservin' it for?" the vamp responded grouchily.

"Okay, Spike, look, easy way round this... Change."

Buffy found herself unceremoniously dumped on her own side of the bed with a suddenness that made Spike wince as they separated.

"Spike?" Buffy was puzzled by the vampire's violent rejection. "What did I say?"

"It's not what you said. It's what you were about to say. And it's not goin' to happen, alright? For one thing I'm not about to start a trend where every time I'm less than a hundred percent I start suckin' on you. It's not what the sharing of blood between mates is about. For another thing, will you try to remember that your blood is like a soddin' drug to vamps. If I start when I'm not... right, there's no damn guarantee that I'll be able to stop. An' for another, even if I did, makin' you weaker in the process, who's to say that Nanny Og wouldn't have me spewin' it up five minutes later, an' we'd both be worse off? Forget it, love."

"So at least I still rate a 'love'?" Buffy teased, as the anger in the vampire's eyes faded as quickly as it had bloomed.

"You always rate a 'love'." Spike reached out a hand toward her and Buffy took it, shuffling back until she was tucked up against his side, once more. "I'm sorry for snappin' at you, but you're just too damn precious for me to risk doin' somethin' stupid. Okay, baby?"

"Okay... for now, but if there comes a stage where I think it's necessary, I'll do whatever I have to."

"You really think you can make me bite you?"

"It's worked before."

"Not with me it hasn't, an' since I can't imagine Drac or Batfink bein' backwards at comin' forward that only leaves gramps an' I think you'll find I can be a bit more stubborn than His Poofiness."

"And I can be more stubborn than you, or at least an ill you, so-o-o... I win. When and if it gets that bad." Buffy announced.

"Don't count on it, beautiful."

"Hey, if I have to, I'll get Angel to come up and obliterate your claim. Then, you'd have to bite me."

Spike's voice was harsh and cruel as he forced her chin up until he stared into her eyes. "Look at me, Buffy. Don't you ever forget that I mean what I am saying now... If you ever willingly forsake my claim on you, there will no going back, no forgiveness. You are either mine and only mine, of your own accord, now and forever, or you're not. I love you more than life itself and so long as you are faithful to me I will do all I can to give you the best of everything, but I am through being cheated on. Do you understand?"

"B-but?"

"It's simple, Buffy. I know you're the slayer and I'm not about to hold you responsible for what might happen in a fight, or if you're under a spell or a thrall, but if you give your consent to another vamp desecrating the mark which binds us as one, then we are through, just as surely as if you take another man to your bed. Have I made myself clear?"

"You are so not going to boss me around," Buffy protested, pulling away from the vamp. "I'm not going to be the scapegoat for how Drusilla treated you. Maybe she let you get away with the major league 'tude, and it's not like she didn't deserve it, but I haven't done anything to give you reason to treat me like this."

"Drusilla never let me claim her. You did, though I'm beginning to wonder why, since despite me trying to explain it to you in plain English, and despite what we've shared because of it, you seem to give it about as much importance as something that comes free in a box of cereal."

"That is so not true..."

"Isn't it? Then tell me why you would even talk about betraying me with that sod of a grandsire of mine."

"I didn't mean it as a betrayal."

"So if you found me with another vamp's teeth in my neck, it wouldn't bother you?"

"You know it would. It was bad enough with Riley... I couldn't bear it if you..."

"Then don't expect me to feel any less, especially not if you're talking about bringing Angelus into the mix."

"Spike, what I was talking about, it wasn't because I wanted to share anything with Angel, it was me trying to tell you that I will do whatever it takes to keep you with me, because I really couldn't bear to lose you."

"An' I'd be a right sorry wanker if I lost you, too, but I can't do that again. Either you love someone enough to be faithful to them or you don't. I am yours, body, spirit and mind. Now... are you mine or not?"

"Always, you stupid vamp, as if you didn't know."

"Then come back here, and don't ever talk about gettin' rid of that mark again."

Buffy shook her head. "Mmm-hmmmh... Your turn to come to me, blondie."

Spike gave a grin. "What on earth did I do to end up with a bossy little chit like you?" he asked as he closed the gap between them, pulling her into his arms.

"Everything you could think of that had the slightest hope of working, as I recall, up to and including the Black Arts."

"Yeah, well, lucky for you that I don't give up easy."

"Lucky for us b-." Buffy's response was cut off as Spike's lips covered hers, her words becoming nothing more than a moan of acquiesence. The tip of Spike's tongue teased at her gumline until she opened her mouth and met it with her own. A sure hand cupped her left breast, long, pale fingers kneading gently at the rounded flesh and his thumbnail dragging circles over the tender skin of her nipple until the sensations made her gasp and arch against him.

"Sp-Spike, please," Buffy struggled to pull away before things became too intense. "Spike, please..." She raised her hand to stroke his cheek. "I love being with you. You know I do, but I really don't want to wear you out when you're kinda ill."

"I'm fine, love, really. An' vampires don't get ill. Just maybe cursed a little bit... 'S nothin'."

Buffy poked him in the stomach where her hipbone had caught him earlier and the vampire couldn't help but flinch. She raised a sceptical eyebrow.

Spike reached out and caught her hand drawing it across to cup his erection, pumping slowly but firmly up and down. "'S not botherin' me half as much as other things. Please, love. Later, we can go downstairs and I'll feed you ice cream an' you can make me drink blood by the bucketful until it's all better, but right now I want to make love to you. I want to make you come, screaming my name."

Buffy's response was teasing but he could feel the real concern that underscored it. "You mean you don't think we were quite loud enough for Wes to hear last time?"

Spike sighed theatrically. "I'm just gonna have to try harder."

"You make me come any harder and you'll end up singing soprano. You promise you'll do the blood thing?"

"Promise, baby. Anything my lady wants, within reason," the vamp answered, wriggling closer until his nose brushed hers in teasing caresses that made her pout for the feel of his lips on hers, but there were more important issues to be settled first. Buffy drew back until she had a clear view of those wonderfully expressive, blue eyes.

"Your lady wants you to know that she's never cheated on anyone in her entire life. She saw what that did to her mother and she wouldn't make anyone she cared about go through that. Your mate can feel your jealousy and she knows it's her fault for bringing up Angel the way she did, because she should have known that even if you weren't ill, it would make you overreact." Spike opened his mouth to interrupt but was stilled by a finger on his full lips. "She wants you to know that she's sorry, and to tell you again that anything she might once have shared with him is ancient history. She wants you to know that even before he left her, what they shared couldn't compare with what she feels for you, because she's in love with you, as you are, flaws and all, not with an idealised image you hide behind. She wants you to know that she can never imagine a time when she won't be in love with you, when she won't belong to you, body, spirit, mind and soul." Buffy reassured her mate until all that she could sense through their link were the same positive emotions that had accompanied their earlier lovemaking. "I'll be yours until the day I die, Will, and quite probably beyond."

"As I am yours," the vampire vowed with a long-forgotten Victorian eloquence, as he scooped her into his lap. "I'm sorry, my heart. I should know by now-."

"Spike, I think we've got it covered already, now shut up and kiss me." Buffy's arms wrapped around his neck as she drew herself up to claim his lips. Long fingers drifted from her knee to her inner thigh, causing her to gasp and arch upward even as the vampire's other hand supported her crown and held her close for a kiss that knew no restraint. With a practised twist of their bodies, of which Buffy was barely aware, the vampire laid her on her back before letting his mouth work its way along her jawline to nibble at her ear. Buffy's thighs parted instinctively, allowing him to rest between them in the same way her head tilted back to offer him her neck. Spike used both reactions to his advantage.

His human teeth nibbled and sucked at the sensitive flesh of her throat, working his way from her earlobe down to her collarbone avoiding the side where he had marked his claim. A gentle hand pushed between her thighs and parted her outer lips so that as he slowly moved his hips up and down, the head of his dick brushed at her clit over and over. Then, that same hand moved to mirror its counterpart, as it cupped her breast, rolling and squeezing her nipple between thumb and forefinger.

Buffy moaned her frustration, as wave after wave of pleasure washed through her, leaving her trembling and boneless, unable to retaliate, her hands twining in his hair as she mindlessly reached for her mate, even as he continued his trail of tiny bruises down the centre of her body and in a spiral that finally led to her right nipple. The shocks as he sucked hard on her breast seemed to flow down into the pit of her stomach and make her lower body tingle in anticipation. "Slow down," she gasped, pulling Spike's head up as she panted for air. The vampire raised himself up on his elbows, his eyes searching her face to see what was wrong as Buffy finally drew sufficient breath to reassure him. "Want it to last, baby," she told him in a breathless whisper.

"I can make it last... I can make you come all night."

"I remember, but I had something else in mind." A second later he found himself on his back with Buffy straddling his chest.

"My turn to pamper you, remember?" She stretched out on top of him, taking his hands in her own and drawing them up until they touched the iron bedstead. She wrapped each of his hands around one of the narrow bars.

Spike looked at the flimsy ironwork that seemed to be more decorative than structural. He hoped Buffy wasn't going to take things too far or they were going to end up needing a new bed, and though he wouldn't admit it, he got a certain kick out of being allowed in Buffy's little-girl realm after being so long denied. However, all thoughts of anything other than Buffy were soon forgotten, as the tiny blonde peppered kisses along the underside of his arms and down his sides. She let her hair fall forward, trailing along his skin after her as she moved. Its tantalising touch made the ticklish vamp squirm beneath her as if she rode a bucking bronco, his lips pressed firmly closed to prevent his pleas for mercy being heard far and wide and his knuckles turning white as he gripped hard on the wrought iron above his head.

She shifted backward, settling over his hips, so that his dick brushed against her butt, seemingly by accident, as she moved over him, her agile tongue seeking out and teasing his nipples, every touch light and playful, when she knew that what he really craved was the same sharp pain that he had used on her. She used the very tip of her tongue to trace damp circles on his responsive skin, blowing softly to make them pucker even harder. Her teasing glances were met by indigo pools of indecision as the vampire debated just how far to let her game go before he let go the bars above him and got his own back for her taunting ways. She tilted her head up as her pristine white teeth finally closed over a hard pink bud, barely biting hard enough to keep it in her mouth as she met the vampire's pleading gaze, before slowly pressing down to make him arch in pain and pleasure beneath her, stopping just short of where her teeth would break the skin.

Tiny hands brushed against his sides as she rained kisses on the firmly defined lines of his abdomen, her caresses especially delicate as she took care not to put pressure on the area that had proved to be tender to the touch. At the same time she shifted her hips until the tip of his dick pressed against the folds of her sex, cool and firm against her moist heat. She slowly pressed down on him, swallowing him inch by inch as the vampire moaned, unable to control himself any longer. His hands reached out for her even as she intercepted them with her own, twining their fingers together.

She lifted her head, the unspoken message in her eyes, 'Trust me.' Spike stilled his movements, letting her keep control. She laid her head on his shoulder and relaxed, bringing her legs down to lie on top of Spike's, so that they were like two lovers crucified on the same cross. The vampire gasped as she began to slowly massage his cock, using only her internal muscles. It was as if she had somehow managed to combine the stillness and serenity of their post-coital calm with the euphoria that immediately preceded it and Spike found himself astonished all over again by his good fortune in loving this woman, and others' stupidity at ever leaving her.

He freed his hands from her own, but only so that he could wrap his arms around her tiny body, holding her close as he whispered words of love and amazement in her ear. He waited until he could barely hold off any longer before he craned his neck to nuzzle gently and brush open mouthed kisses against Buffy's claim mark, his caresses bringing her to a silent climax only seconds after his own.

As the final tremors faded from their joined bodies, Buffy looked up into his eyes with a shy smile. "Did I tell you I kinda love this bit?"

Spike pressed a kiss to her forehead, his arms holding her even closer than before, as if he feared that she would turn out to be a figment of his imagination, or some sort of hallucination. "You may just have mentioned it."

"This is mindless garbage, you know that?" Buffy gently berated the vampire who was stretched out behind her on the sofa.

"But it's fun, mindless garbage," Spike responded, holding another spoonful of strawberry Häagen-Dazs level with her lips and waiting for her to suck the softening confection into her mouth.

"My brain is going to melt if you make me watch any more, and I get enough with the dumb blonde jokes as it is."

Spike gave a gentle chuckle, but conceded the point. "Switch it off then, and see if you can find anything on cable. I guess I can leave catching up on Passions until you go back to being college girl."

"You find something. I'm going to go heat up mug number four."

Spike raised his eyes heavenward, but dutifully started flicking through the channels, as Buffy pulled away from him and picked up the oversized breakfast mug that the vampire had adopted as his own. Buffy didn't know whether he was aware that it had been a favourite of her mother's, but it seemed right somehow that he should use it, rather than it sitting at the back of a cupboard, gathering dust.

He was still flicking his way through the channels when he heard quiet footsteps padding their way downstairs. Dawn hovered in the living room doorway, unsure if she was interrupting Spike and Buffy's travelling sexcapades. Spike's bare arms and shoulders peeking out from underneath the afghan the family occasionally used during their late-night viewing did little to assuage her doubts.

"I thought we were past the shy phase, Niblet." The vampire glanced away from the television to see what was troubling the teen.

"There's shy and there's shy... Are you actually wearing anything under there?" Spike flipped back the blanket to show the same pyjama bottoms he occasionally wore for breakfast before sitting up to make space beside him for the youngster.

"And Buffy?" Dawn nodded toward the kitchen, from where the hum of the microwave could be heard.

"Robe and everything. Cross my heart... So, are you goin' to tell me what keeps you awake till half past two in the morning, or should I just assume it's the obvious?"

Dawn smirked unconvincingly. "Well, it's a good hour or two since that bellow that half the neighbourhood must have heard, so no, not the obvious... unless you mean the other 'creepy, government scientist who pretended to be our friend' obvious."

Spike patted the gap next to him. "That would be the one I meant."

Dawn finally moved from her position in the doorway, taking the remote from his hand and placing it out of reach on the coffee table before swapping the tape in the VCR for the tape of 'The Princess Bride' that she had brought downstairs the day before. "Is that ice cream up for grabs?" she asked as she finally settled beside the vampire, tucking her legs underneath her and pulling an end of the blanket over her lower body.

"That would be a matter for discussion with your sister."

"You can share it," Buffy answered as she returned to the room, setting Spike's mug on the floor by his feet before taking the ice-cream carton from his hands and passing it to her sister. "I'll go fetch another spoon."

"You wanting to talk about anything, or do we just happen to be in the same room as the telly?" Spike asked the girl who came a very close second in his affections.

Dawn shook her head. "Just TV and company. No big deep. Not in the dark, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, Bit, I know what you mean... Just don't forget that we are here for you whenever you need us."

"I know. She just has me a little spun."

Buffy came back from the kitchen, spoon in hand, and Spike shuffled along the couch so that she could sit next to her sister. "I'm not real good with the talk. It's more fang face's department, and I know as far as families go, ours is unconventional and it's kinda early days but I'm hoping it's going to work. I know you must feel like things would be easier if you had a normal mom and dad and brothers and sisters-."

"Buffy, I wouldn't have traded the time I had with mom for anything, and you guys being together and getting Tara to stay, is like... If I can't have mom back, it's the next best thing. I wouldn't change any of you for any other lifestyle you care to mention... And it's not like I'm little Miss Normal or like a normal family could have had a hope of coping with all the things you guys have had to deal with because of me... or even like they'd want to."

"They'd want to, Niblet. It's only losers like your dad who could know you and not do everything in his power to keep you in their lives."

"Spike?" Buffy asked. "You think now might be time for what we hid away on the shelf in mom's old armoire?"

"That parcel in the black bag with silver lettering, you mean? ...Nah. It's too far away. I don't think I could lever myself off this sofa to go get it, and you've only just sat down... It'll keep." Spike's eyes gleamed with mischief as he watched the teenager's impatience mount.

"Buffy, what is it? Did you get me something? Can I have it, pleeeease? I'll go fetch it."

"I gue-ess... If you go fetch it." Buffy's smile was good-natured. "But the ice cream stays here and you have to bring it down before you open it. No peeking."

Dawn's curiosity had the better of her in milliseconds. Buffy leaned back into her fiancé's arms, scooping ice cream into her mouth with obvious delight.

"You better hurry up or the Columbo bit'll be finished and we'll be into the film proper before you get back!" Spike called after the girl. "An' tell Glinda she's not foolin' anyone. We can hear her movin' around in her room, so she can leave the revision books for a few minutes and come see what you got."

Dawn came bouncing down the stairs in no time, with Tara following rather more sedately behind.

"It's supposed to be Tiffany's where you take your Cracker Jack ring to get engraved, not this place."

"I'm afraid that Tiffany's has yet to display the incredible lack of business sense required to set up shop in Sunnydale mall, so you'll have to make do," Spike told the teen.

"So can I open it now?"

"Give Tara a chance to grab a seat so she gets to see how disappointed you are when it is a Cracker Jack ring," Buffy teased.

"I don't believe you, so you can quit now," Dawn told her. "And even if it was, I bet it'd say something real nice."

Tara joined the couple, taking the spot Dawn had vacated on the sofa while the teen sat on the coffee table, narrowly avoiding the remote, and pulling pieces of silver tissue from the tasteful gift bag that was decorated with the store's name. After about three seconds she found the small leather case that housed her gift. rattling it and looking at the size, she hazarded a guess. "Bracelet."

"Nah..." the vampire demurred. "You can tell junior that he's buyin' you a wrist corsage, 'cause his hands ain't goin' anywhere near where he'd have to go to pin one on that dress."

Dawn shook her head at the vamp's protests and flipped open the lid of the box. A card, with the store's name and address printed along the bottom edge, rested on top of the gift itself, a message inscribed in a formal hand.

"A precious gift for our precious gift.

Diamonds are forever, just like family.

You, Tara and us."

The teen passed the card over to the Wiccan. "I'm guessing you've been summoned down here because that message is as much for you as it is for me." She watched as the quiet girl read the words on the card. That endearing smile of hers, combined with the tears that welled in her eyes, had her being hugged by both Dawn and Buffy.

Spike simply leaned back against the arm of the sofa and forced down some more of the blood that Buffy kept fetching every time his mug was empty, even though he was feeling rather bloated by this point. "Don't know what you girls are gettin' all blubbery about. You'd have to be totally insensitive to need tellin' what it said on that card, anyway," he mock grumbled, but when the witch cast an eye in his direction he gave her an extravagant wink before returning his attention to the mug of blood he was struggling his way through.

"Honestly, women... More interested in the damn card than they are in the present!" he mouthed off again when he realised that the girls were in no hurry to give up on the group hug thing.

Dawn looked honestly startled. She'd been so preoccupied with watching Tara's reaction to the card that she'd neglected her gift. She cast her gaze on the box's contents for the first time, her jaw dropping open.

"Are they really diamonds? For me? You're not kidding? This is a joke, right? They're paste, right? You couldn't trust me with something like these if they were real."

Buffy smiled at her sister. "You're right. I don't trust you with them, that's why they don't leave the house, except on very special occasions, like say... prom ...or maybe a wedding. And you can thank Spike. It's his idea. He said Sam made you feel like a freak, so you needed something to make you feel like a girl... a really special girl... who may now own more carats than her poor, deprived sister."

"Well... I might let you borrow them now and again... if you help out with my chores." Dawn turned the tables on her elder sister for years of domestic extortion, her grin letting Buffy know that she wasn't entirely serious. She was already fumbling with the catch on the necklace when Spike rose from his seat and took it from her hands.

"Pretty girl should never have to do that for herself," he told her as he slipped round behind her to drop the pendant over her head before fastening it in place. "An' I don't think it's really designed to look its best with Raiders pyjamas." Dawn could hardly stay still long enough to take out the plain gold studs she wore for bed and replace them with the diamond ones before she dashed off to check her appearance in the mirror in the hall.

She returned almost as quickly as she left, throwing herself first at Buffy and then at the vampire. Spike winced as he caught the teen. "Slow up there, stringbean."

Dawn gave the vampire a curious look. "Are you injured? Did you get in a fight? Is that why you disappeared for so long?"

"If I am and you can't see it already, Bitlet, then you ain't goin' to. This is as much as little sisters get to see. And, no, I haven't been in a fight."

"Humph! Well I can't see anything, but you sure as heck act like that hurts." Spike didn't quite manage to grab her wrist before she prodded him in the stomach again.

The vampire almost doubled over. "Look, it's nothing you need to worry about. You're missing your film. Your sister's makin' sure I drink enough blood to heal up a vampire elephant. So why not park your butt? An' by the time we get to that greatest kiss in all history or whatever they call it, I'll like as not be all better."

"You're covering something up."

"We just thought you had enough worries of your own, love. If this is what I'm pretty sure it is, then it might be unpleasant, but it's got a long way to go before it's gonna be life-threatening. Okay?"

The teen looked like she was about to argue but then she changed her mind. "If you lie down like you were before. Me and Tara can take the armchairs... If Tara's staying to watch the film."

"I think I should maybe get a glass of milk and then head back to the books," the Wiccan demurred. "I'm going to have to pretty much cram full time between now and the exams."

Dawn turned to the vampire, her arms folded and a pout he recognised all too well on her lips. "So... Are you going to lie down like a good deceiving, secretive, hypocritical future brother-in-law or not?"

Buffy smirked as the vampire muttered away under his breath while he got back into his original position on the sofa. "I told you you should tell her."

Dawn waited until Spike and her sister were both lying side by side on the sofa and then tucked the afghan in around them before finding another blanket to cover herself up with and rewinding the tape to the start of Buttercup's story. Tara, meanwhile had fetched her drink and paused as she was about to head back upstairs to ruffle the vamp's hair. "Take care of him, and if he gets worse again, come fetch me. I don't know if there's anything I can do, but..."

"I'm right here, you know, Glinda."

Tara gave a disarming smile. "Yeah, but everybody knows that you don't pay any attention to a male when he's sick. They either want tons of sympathy when there's nearly nothing wrong with them, or they start being all brave and saying that it's nothing when they're really ill."

"Hey, that's a vast generalisation, an' it might be true of humans, but... but..."

"But what?" Buffy craned her neck to ask.

"But I'm not going to win this argument in a room with three women, so I'm going to shut up now."

* * * * *

The film had been running for about three quarters of an hour when Buffy registered the stillness of the body behind her and the absence of a gentle breath stirring her hair. She pulled his arm tighter around her waist and pressed even closer against him. She was almost tempted to wake him up so that she could have the reassurance of his breathing and moving to know he was alright, but sleep could only do him good and so long as he wasn't dust, he wasn't dead, however much his stillness might worry her.

By the end of the film, the niggling pain in her gut that Buffy had first noticed back when Spike had gone missing from the party was back. So far, however, the vampire seemed to be sleeping through the worst that this attack had to offer. She was debating whether she should try to move him to their bed or leave him where he was when her own movements made the vampire stir.

She rolled in his arms to check on him as Dawn got to her feet with a yawn and popped the tape.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. I'm guessing you didn't see much of the film.

"Not a vast amount. Hope I didn't snore."

"Very funny. How's the stomach?" she asked, waiting to see what he would say before she let him know that she was aware another attack had begun.

"'S been better."

"You want to move this upstairs?"

"Upstairs could be good," Spike answered, but as he pushed himself into a more upright position, it seemed to trigger a bout of nausea. Seeing him struggling to hold in a mouthful of vomit, Buffy quickly rolled off the sofa. As soon as she was clear of his path the vampire stumbled to the kitchen sink, Buffy grabbing his elbow and lending him support as he staggered the last few feet.

Buffy looked on in horror as the vampire retched helplessly, his hands gripping so tightly on the edges of the sink that even though he was in human form they looked like claws. She was sure that even including what he had drunk at Lily's he had to be throwing up more than he had ingested.

"Buffy?" Dawn stood in the no man's land between the living room and the kitchen, looking on in horror as her superhuman champion succumbed to some unnamed and unexplained horror.

"Dawn, fetch Tara and then I want you to see if you can get Wes. If he's going to have to help us figure out how to deal with this, it might help if he sees what's going on... Now!" she added when the girl seemed to be rooted to the spot. "Dawn, if you want to help, then the best thing you can do is get Tara and Wes." This finally seemed to galvanise the teen into action and she raced upstairs to Tara's room.

Buffy felt a bit of a hypocrite sending Dawn away when she felt so useless herself, but she couldn't leave him. The thought of Spike suffering through this on his own earlier was almost physically painful to her, but Spike needed her strength not her fears and her worries, so she stood beside him, her hand firmly over his and pretended not to be as worried as she suspected they both knew she was. Maybe if she was lucky Spike would be too preoccupied to know how afraid she was of losing him.

"You know, you're one up on us humans there... At least you can't choke on your vomit, but it's going to take more than a few breath mints before I kiss that mouth." She waited until there was a slight lull in his being sick to crack a joke and her vamp even managed to give her a half-hearted smile before the nausea took hold again.

"Spike?" Tara bent over, trying to look the vampire in the face. "I'm going to put this pendant round your neck. Okay? It's an agate. It has protective properties. I know it's not your normal style, but..."

Tara fastened the delicate gold pendant with its orangey brown banded stone centre around the vampire's neck. "Tomorrow there's a working I can do to make its protection more potent, but I need sunlight for that, so for now we'll have to make do."

Spike managed to nod his acquiesence. "Anythin's worth a-." The vampire doubled over the sink, another bout of nausea hitting him in midsentence.

"Isn't there anything else we can do in the meantime?" Buffy asked, obviously frustrated by Spike's renewed incapacity and her own inability to do anything to combat it.

"I've already tried the only other protection spell that I had the components here to do and it doesn't seem to have helped any. If I can get the ingredients I can do that trance to see spells thing and then we'll at least know who or what is causing it. Maybe we can do something to stop them."

"Then call Giles at his hotel and get him to bring whatever you need from The Magic Box!"

Tara looked uncomfortable as Buffy snapped at her. "I don't know if Giles..."

"Giles will do whatever needs doing. He's part of the team, and if he decides that Spike isn't worth saving then he's turning his back on all of us as far as I'm concerned."

"I'll call him," Dawn volunteered. "Will he know what to get?"

"He sells the stuff to people. He should!" Buffy snapped.

"What's going on?" Wes demanded as he pushed through the door that Dawn had left ajar. "Dawn said it was an emergency." The former watcher was still pulling a sweater over his head as he made his way into the living room. He stopped dead when he saw the vampire stooped over the sink, still throwing up blood, though to those who had been there since since the beginning of the nausea attack it seemed that it might now be waning.

"What on earth?" the man looked on amazed at what he saw. "I didn't think vampires ever got sick."

"We're thinking curse." Buffy went into command mode. "Spike says he's seen it done before, but only using voodoo, and the people he knew who were capable of it are long dead. This is the third time it's happened in the last two days. First time, it was only stomach cramps. Earlier this evening, he was ill but didn't tell anyone at the time, and now again. Whoever is behind it, they're escalating the attacks. I'm betting on this Wood guy. From something Spike said earlier, I'm guessing his money's on Willow. Or we could both be wrong and it could be someone Quentin's hired. Could be Giles' wonderfully vague warning coming to fruition. Tara's done everything she can with what she has, but Dawn's calling Giles to get him to open up The Magic Box and bring some things. Is there anything to be gained from you being here while this is going on, or can you go pick up Giles from his hotel, take him to the shop and then bring him back here?"

"I think between you, Spike, Dawn and Tara I should be able to get all the eye-witness reports I need. Try to keep note of how long the bouts of sickness last for and whether they're getting worse or better... I haven't brought my car keys. I'll have-."

"Grab Spike's. They're on the hall table. It'll be quicker. Dawn! Tell Giles that Wes is coming to pick him up." Buffy turned back to the stricken vampire, her arms wrapping ever so loosely around his waist as she pressed against his back, only to draw back and touch a hand to her face and look down at the damp patches which showed on her robe.

"Spike, did you know that you're sweating? You're burning up."

Unwilling to speak, the vamp gave a gentle nod.

"Did this happen last time?" Another nod. "The time before." This time the vamp managed a soft, "No."

She enfolded him once more in a careful hug and whispered against his back, "We'll find a way to stop this. We've got Giles and Wes and Tara. We'll..." She paused, seeming to consider something. "Dawn, try calling Lily's place. There might still be people around from the party. See if you can get hold of Marie and then bring me the phone, okay?"

* * * * *

"If anyone had told me... even two years ago that Buffy would be pulling two watchers out of their beds to get them to help Spike of all people, I would have told them that they were completely barmy," Giles muttered as he pulled book after book from the shelves, trying to find the elusive one with Cloutier's spell.

"Malachite pendant?" Wes asked, pulling said item from a tray of multi-coloured stones which had been prepared ready to be worn on either a leather thong or a chain. "And if anyone had told me that Buffy could look as happy as I've seen her over the last week or two, I would probably have said the same to them."

Giles considered for a moment, wondering if he would ever be recompensed for the items, but then shrugged. If Wes was right about Spike making Buffy happy it didn't matter. "I don't suppose it will do any harm. See if there's anything else lying around that you think might prove useful." He stopped searching through the book shelves long enough to look at Wesley questioningly. "You really think Spike is in love with her? It's not just some obsession that will completely slip his mind the next time Drusilla waltzes into town and crooks her little finger."

"Drusilla is dust, Giles, and a large part of the reason for that is that even when he was under a spell where he had no memory of his relationship with Buffy, the bond between the two and his mark on her throat was enough to make him abandon his sire in favour of someone he remembered only as his adversary. What they share is uncanny from a purely emotional standpoint. As a watcher I have to say that seeing them in combat together is incredible. They know each other so well, it's as if they think as one."

Giles snorted. "You wouldn't say that if you heard the pair of them arguing."

"So they bicker a little. Then, they kiss and make up. It lets off steam and lets Spike convince himself that he hasn't gone good in his old age. There's never any lingering bad feeling. Everything is out in the open or it will be as they get to know more about each other's pasts. I have absolutely no doubt that the two of them care deeply about each other, or that Spike also has feelings of a familial nature for both Dawn and Tara. Though I suspect he wouldn't actually care for the term, I would say that Spike is as much a Champion as Angel. He's also far better suited to the role of consort, if you will. Spike will happily do Buffy's bidding, play second fiddle even though he is formidable in his own right, which isn't to say that he won't make his opinion known if he disagrees with her. Angel is happiest when he's at the centre of things. He does not conform well to the role of subordinate. If Angel had been the vampire who was here rather than Spike, I wouldn't have given it six months before he left her for some noble reason he made up. Buffy has become an extremely resourceful, self-possessed individual. Angel needs to be needed. He wants to be revered by the women in his life. However much Buffy may love Spike, or may have loved Angel, she doesn't ultimately need either one. Spike can cope with that. Angel would never have been able to.

Strange as it may seem, I think..." Wes paused as the shop's phone rang, the answering machine intercepting the call on the second ring. "That's probably her ringing to tell us to get a move on."

* * * * *

Spike tried to calm Buffy slightly as she put him to bed in her mother's old room. The bed had been pulled into the very centre of the room, to allow Tara to draw a protective circle around it. The ring of scented oils was indistinguishable by sight on the carpet's pattern, but the scents of primrose, lime, lavender and sandalwood were heavy in the air. "Look. I'm fine now," he insisted.

"Yeah? Then how come there was more sway than swagger to how you made it up the stairs? I was walking right behind you, remember. I could see you clinging to the banister trying to look like you were fine for Dawn. Well, I don't know if she bought the act, but up close and personal, I didn't. You're still burning up and you're starting to look like an extra in a George Romero film."

"But at least I stopped throwing up while I still had something to throw up this time, so that means I kept some of it down, so that's an improvement."

"Honey, no offence, but if this is the new improved Spike, I prefer the original formula."

"Pet, bottom line... It's not pretty but it's not directly life threatening. I have faith in you guys. You'll fix it, and you've already got Marie ringing round her contacts in Miami. Maybe she'll come up with something, and Tinkerbell's still tinkering, even though she should be either back in bed or hittin' the school books. You've got two of the Council's brightest, least the two that were bright enough to tell the Council to go stuff themselves. You're the crack team that sends all the bad guys packing, though technically I'm not entirely sure where you would actually place this particular bit of magic on the good - evil continuum seein' as how it's aimed at the Evil Undead. I'm a long, long way from being a goner. Maybe I'm not really in the mood for a bit of rough and tumble right this second, but as you told me once, 'I'll live'."

"You better, buddy, or I'll come hunt you down wherever you end up and sue you for breach of promise or whatever they used to call it. We've got a binding verbal contract for us both to be in that church on July twentieth, and I'm not letting you off the hook, even if I need to visit another hell to fetch you back."

"It's a nice thought, love, but even though I'm sure I'll end up payin' for my many and varied sins sooner or later, I've got no intention of bein' first to quit the dance floor."

"Just keep it that way, then." Buffy pressed a kiss to his damp brow, noting the dark circles under his normally vibrant eyes. "I'm going to go check to see whether they've come up with anything or if they're still not making with the progress. I'll be back soon."

"Stay... They're just getting ready to try that tirer la couture thing. I kinda got the impression that would take a few hours."

"Well, it did when I did it. Maybe they're quicker at getting trancey."

"Come to bed, love. They'll come find you if there's any news and I can't sleep without you any more. Besides a rested slayer will kick butt so much better when they do find out who it is."

"You're just laying on the charm so that I come to bed."

"Is it working?" the vampire asked with a cadaverous shadow of his normal teasing smile.

"Yeah..." Buffy crawled onto the bed and climbed underneath the covers curling close enough to the vamp to stroke his hair back where it stuck to his forehead. "It always does, doesn't it?"

* * * * *

"I simply feel that perhaps your energy isn't as focused as it could be right now, with the break up, and that it might be better if Wesley or I were to perform the actual trance. It's very-."

"Giles, I understand what you are saying and if we didn't need to know soon who is doing this and exactly how they're doing it, I would even agree with you, but we do need to know, and given what Willow had to say on the subject of Spike the last time she was here, I think I'm the only true magic-user who can and will do it. I don't mean to be rude about you guys and I know in a pinch you can pull it off, but really you're more book guys whereas I'm practical magic girl.

How often do you meditate, Giles?"

"Well, that's beside the point, and for all you know either one of us could spend half the day, every day, in a trance."

"Only when someone mentions some rare old book, and then there's the whole drool thing. It could take you hours to reach the required level of consciousness. Do you really want to sit in the lotus position for that long?"

"I'm not as decrepit as you-."

"Giles!" Wes looked up from his appraisal of the spell book they had brought back from the magic shop. "Perhaps I might make a suggestion?"

"Well, what is it, man?"

"I've had a look through the spell, or trance. So far as I can tell there would be no adverse effects if one were to be roused from the meditative state before the process were completed, and if as you say, Tara's energy may not be sufficiently focused, I believe that she would simply fail to reach that higher state of consciousness required. I don't believe there is any risk.

In short, I believe it would be advantagous if we were all to attempt to perform the ritual. If one of us meets with success, they can rouse the others from their meditation or if they feel they require corroboration they can let the other two-."

"Three," Dawn stated flatly in a tone that should have warned anyone about even thinking of arguing with her.

"Dawn, I..." Giles tried, nevertheless.

"He just said it wasn't dangerous. This is our family, Giles. Buffy is going to want to be with him, but if this has a hope of working, the odds have got to be better with four trying, than with three. He would do anything he could to help me. It's time he learned it's a two-way street." Tara nodded her agreement, and Giles finally conceded total defeat.

"So how do we do this? One big circle for all of us, or four little ones?"

Tara's eyes flicked suddenly open. She looked around the room. Dawn, Giles and Wes were still seated, each within their own individual sand circle. The first light of predawn had given way to full mid-morning sun, but the light seemed grainy, almost sepia toned, though she supposed that perhaps the pall of incense smoke in the room could be partially responsible. She pushed herself to her feet, aware of a disorienting fuzziness to her actions. The normal, everyday sounds of the house seemed muted somehow, the hum of the refrigerator, the noise of children playing in the street outside. All seemed distant, as if somehow, she existed on the border between their reality and another.

She turned toward the kitchen, thinking to check through the house for other influences before finally going in search of the vampire, and froze in terror. A demon stood behind the island in the middle of the room, his head only an inch or two short of brushing the ceiling. He wore armour in a style that Tara knew from her art history course had not been widely seen since the time of the crusades, though the helmet, which he carried tucked under one arm, had to be more ceremonial than functional, as the 'wings' on either side of the piece would be more likely to deflect a blow towards the top of the head than away from it. His eyes were pools of darkest ebony, with no obvious irises or whites, and Tara knew she should find them unreadable, yet after her first initial shock, she found that she began to be drawn toward the figure. His pose seemed both at ease and alert, as if he waited to be needed, his huge right hand resting on the pommel of what to a human would be a claymore, but to the figure before her, seemed more in the nature of a bastardsword. Tara reached out toward him, knowing that he meant her no harm, but also knowing that a great injustice had been wrought and would have to be corrected soon if the cosmic balance were to be maintained.

She picked up Buffy's purse from the island, her eyes flashing violet as she did so. She watched as the demon put on it's helmet and changed it's grip on the huge sword. Then, the image of the demon began superimposing itself over her own body, so that to the witch, it now seemed as if she had donned the winged helmet and accompanying armour. The whole process took just a fraction of a second. The spirit who now imbued her with his strength and invulnerability had shifted into a state of combat readiness. Tara was aware of the puzzlement of the spirit within her. He... no, it, she realised, had no concept of how it had been separated from its people, or what might be happening to them now that their guardian had been stripped from them. It bore no ill will toward those in whose company it now found itself, but its over-riding concern was to return to those for whom it had given its life and over whom it had sworn to keep watch, even in death, taking on the role of warrior and protector so that the rest of its kind might live lives of meditation and study.

Tara opened up the purse and taking out the orbs, held one in either hand, separating them until the purple light flashed once more in her eyes before the spirit left her body, and she could see clearly once more instead of feeling as if her view was restricted to what she could see through a visor slit. She made her way to the dining room, pausing to look at the photographs there and how in some Dawn's image seemed to fade in and out, even though in the later ones she was as real as anyone else. Having exhausted the possibilities of the ground floor, Tara turned for the stairs even as Wes's eyes flicked open to see the Wiccan apparently being stalked by the huge sword-wielding demon.

The demon's gaze met that of his lover across the lusciously curving planes of her upper body. He loved it when she became incoherent, when all that remained for her was him and surges of sensation. He watched her face as he pushed her lower lips open with a broad stroke from his tongue before making teasing forays around her swollen clit. When he finally took the bud between his lips, sucking gently at first, Buffy thought she was going to die. Surely, such a rapid heartbeat was a sign of arrhythmia. Then, two slender fingers pushed inside her warmth, gently curving to find her G-spot and stroke it with a sensually circling caress. As he increased the pressure from his mouth, sucking harder, so that the lines of his perfectly crafted cheekbones were emphasised even more prominently than normal, he could feel the first fluttering of her vaginal muscles around his fingers. He lifted his head, returning once more to a gentle licking motion, letting her body shift slightly back from the brink even though his skilled fingers inside her wouldn't let her slip too far.

Buffy gasped for every breath and her eyes finally flickered shut. She caught the delicate scent of cherries in the air as his fingers left her and strong arms pulled her up to her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck as her breasts were crushed to his chest. She gasped as she felt his cool member push between her thighs from behind, the coarse mat of his pubic hair brushing against the curves of her ass, and the head of his generous shaft teasing her over-stimulated clit. Her eyes opened wide once more as she realised the impossibility of what she was feeling.

"Here, love." The gentle whisper in her right ear was echoed by the lips in front of her just before they claimed her own. A familiar hand reached from behind her to cup her breast. As Spike continued she heard him not with her ears, but in her mind. 'Relax, love. It's a dream. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. It's all me. You're safe.'

'Does it matter? Seems pretty good to me. Something about the idea of making you come every which way at once really turns me on, but I think that's hardly news. Personally, though, I suspect I would have conjured up multiple Buffy's. Who knows? It could be my way of compensating for not being able to keep you awake all night.'

Buffy's eyes widened as she felt the cock behind her being replaced by a finger that pressed gently on her anus coating the puckered opening with lubricant before easing smoothly inside. "Chill, honey, nothing we haven't done before, just not all at once," the voice at her ear whispered huskily before she felt a sharp tweak at her nipple and arched back, letting her head drop onto the shoulder of the Spike behind her. The demon at her back was unable to resist the temptation and kissed and nuzzled against her collar bone and the smooth column of her golden neck, paying particular attention to her claim mark, nibbling at the flesh there with blunt teeth.

The finger inside her began to shift from side to side, loosening her tight muscles until there was enough space for a second finger in the narrow cavity. Spike in front of her dropped his head to her free breast suckling there as he had earlier on her other perfect pink bud. Once more, Buffy could feel herself approach the edge of climax. A thumb moved within her lips, grinding her clit against her pubic bone in circles that began slowly but as she panted harder and harder began to speed up. At the same time a third finger joined the first two in her ass and they began to thrust in and out in place of their previous motion.

Buffy's whole body began to tremble and she knew the only things holding her up were the hard bodies on either side of her, even as she thought this, some agreement seemed to be reached between the two Spikes. 'Open your eyes, baby. See what's yours.'

With some effort Buffy pushed open lids that she hadn't been aware of shutting. The man behind her was in complete control of her body now. His arm around her holding her up, his mouth on her neck making her shiver uncontrollably and his fingers bringing her to orgasm in a way that only he ever had. 'Look at me, honey.' Her eyes finally focused on the man in front of her, making her gasp as she realised what he was doing. She watched, fascinated as dextrous fingers massaged his penis, spreading lubricant thickly over its silky length as he pumped slowly up and down. 'You know what's coming, don't you? You know what I'm going to do? Think you can take it, baby?'

Buffy barely managed to nod. The combined sensations the other Spike was causing enough to make any thought difficult.

'Do you want it, Buffy? You're as ready as we can make you but it's probably still going to hurt a little.'

Again she moved her head to show her assent, unable to form words. The men shifted until they were right and left of her instead of in front and behind, holding her up on either side. the Spike who had been behind her continuing to lavish attention on her claim mark and to thrust in and out of her in a slow rhythm until the other Spike took position on his knees behind her. Buffy gasped as he took over from his doppelganger, his languorous thrust taking him far deeper then his counterpart had penetrated and stretching her so taut that it did hurt, but she knew that the pleasure to come would far outweigh any pain. Spike wondered again that such a tiny woman could accommodate him so completely, sliding slowly deeper and deeper as the other Spike watched.

Buffy could feel his satisfaction as he seated his dick inside her, and was glad again for Riley's prudery that meant this one thing was his and his alone. She gasped one word, letting him know how she felt. "Yours."

"That's right, baby. You're ours and we're going to take real good care of you, but you have to stay with us. You have to try to hold off coming as long as you can, in case you wake up."

A hand settled on each of her hips as Spike began to withdraw, but before she could miss the feel of him inside her the other Spike moved round to face her.

"Don't worry, love," he reassured her, his fingers gently stroking her cheek. "We love you. You're safe with us. We'll take everything nice and slow." The vampire behind her showered her shoulders in feather-light kisses and nips that left pink marks that would have faded in a few hours, if this were real, as he moved inside her, pausing when only the bulbous head of his cock was left inside her before pushing back into her welcoming warmth unbearably slowly. The Spike in front of her reached between her legs, positioning himself at her opening. Waiting until the other Spike paused again, barely inside her, he thrust up into her, withdrawing almost completely before the one behind her took his turn once more.

As the vampire had promised they built up a tortuously sensual rhythm until Buffy relaxed completely, only tensing slightly when one of the four hands and two mouths found a new way to make her gasp and moan. At first one vampire would wait until the other had almost completely withdrawn before he thrust into her, but as they slowly gained momentum they could feel one dick sliding past the other with only a thin tissue membrane separating them, and Buffy could feel them, too. She had never felt so completely filled in her life.

"Not going to break, Spike. Want it faster, harder. Want to feel all of both of you inside me at once."

At her request, the vampire behind her paused once he was buried deep within her. The Spike before her searched her face, making certain she was absolutely sure before he gave a savage push into her. Buffy's head dropped back, onto the shoulder of the man behind her, once more, a low moan of satisfaction escaping from her throat. As both men began to withdraw simultaneously she could feel them press tight against each other. The vamps began to push into her harder and faster swiftly reaching the frenetic pace and savagery she had wanted.

However, she should have known that the vamp could read her pulse and respiration as if it were as clear as a road map. "We know, baby. We know. It's okay. You, come for us. Come for your boys. Let us know how good we make you feel. Let it all out."

His words of encouragement were all she needed to tip her over what by now was not so much the edge as a precipice, her teeth embedding themselves deeply in the flesh of the vampire in front of her, as all three of them came with a breathtaking ferocity.

"Tara, look out!" Wes called, trying to pitch his voice so that the witch couldn't fail to hear him, but also so that he wouldn't rouse Giles or Dawn from their meditation before they were ready. Tara, spun on her heel to see what the danger was, as the watcher made to make a grab for the demon.

"No, Wes. It's just these." She held up the orbs, one in either hand, still keeping them several feet apart. "The orbs are imbued with the spirit of the demons' racial guardian. That's where their power comes from."

Her warning came a little late as Wes discovered the yielding nature of what was after all, simply a visual manifestation of the magic of the orbs. Tara went to grab Wes's arm before he could fall and then realised that both her hands were already full. Fortunately, Wes's dignity was the only casualty. "I'm guessing some invulnerability isn't going to go amiss if we can get Spike to hold them. I feel kinda stupid that it took an eight foot tall apparition to remind me."

Tara shook her head. "I just had longer to adjust than you did. Come on. I couldn't see anything downstairs, well nothing I didn't expect, but I haven't checked on Spike, yet."

Tara knocked quietly at the couple's bedroom door, reluctant to awaken them if they were getting some much needed sleep. When she received no response, she pushed the door open. The protective circle around the bed shimmered with a buttery yellow light that rose to a height of about five feet slightly obscuring her view of the bed, so that it was only when she stepped within its bounds that she realised it was no longer occupied. If it hadn't been for the missing comforter and pillows she might have been concerned. As it was, she simply strolled around to the far side.

What she could see from there, however, caused her to blush profusely and wave Wesley back toward the door. So far as she could tell, beneath the haphazardly draped covers, both Buffy and Spike were dressed as they had been earlier with the exception of Buffy's robe, but the figures that floated in the air above their heads were wearing nothing at all. Tara determinedly searched the area around the vampire for signs of hostile magic, even, finally, pulling back the covers to his waist to search his flesh.

She swore under her breath at what she saw there. There was no tell-tale pointer to indicate magic, just red-purple bruising that covered the vamp's abdomen, which, to her, indicated some form of internal haemorrhage. She leaned forward to press the orbs into the vampire's hand where it wrapped around Buffy's waist.

Rogue watched her every move from where she lay by the couple's heads, as if she felt that Spike required a canine guard in his weakened state. The orbs slid from the vampire's hand almost immediately, but when Tara saw the figure of the demon merge with Buffy's sleeping form, she simply picked up the orbs and placed them by Spike's back instead of in his hand. As the armour wrapped itself around Spike's body, Tara breathed a sigh of relief and backed away toward the room door.

"What's wrong?" the former watcher asked as she pushed him back onto the landing. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Spike's getting worse. His face is starting to look like a skull. He's still running a fever and I think from the bruising on his stomach there's internal bleeding. The thing is that there's absolutely no sign of anything magical, except some very personal astral body type stuff that seems to be going on between the two of them."

"That could be it. Let's just say, if Dawn makes it into a trance, she isn't old enough to go into that room."

The pair made their way downstairs and through the dining room into the kitchen.

As Wes rinsed out the filter from the coffee-machine, Tara pulled open the fridge door to get the coffee canister and the milk. What caught her attention was the icky green glow around the jug of blood that sat in the fridge. A small seal decorated the side of the jug, a mark personal to the mage who had altered the liquid, a mark the Wiccan recognised all too easily.

As she let the door swing open and stepped back to let Wes see, she sighed her disappointment. "Oh, Willow!"