Part 11:

“Do you want to have sex with me?” That question echoed in Spike’s ears for what seemed like hours, though in truth, it was only seconds.

“How can you ask me that?” Spike asked, scrunching his forehead in confusion and staring straight into Buffy’s bright eyes.

“All you have to say is yes or no.” Buffy said, her temper starting to flare.

“Slayer, it’s not that simple.” Spike said edgily. However, seeing Buffy’s face redden with anger, he calmed his voice down and tried to approach the subject differently. “I care about you, and of course I want to…” Spike’s voice trailed off.

“I love you.” Buffy whispered. “Powerful, messy love. And sometimes, it scares me how quickly things have happened. But I know how I feel. And lately, I feel like every time I kiss you. Like every time I touch you, you want me to let go. Earlier in the car…” Buffy said. However, Spike cut her off.

“Slayer, I’m older than you.” Spike began. Buffy rolled her eyes in anger and hurt. “And I know what I feel for you. But I also know that I’m not as sweet as you think I am.”

“I know you.” Buffy replied, her voice gaining confidence. You might not think I know what I’m getting into, but I do. I’m not some naïve child!” Buffy screamed. Spike cut her off.

“Damnit Buffy! Listen to me!” Spike screamed. Buffy stared at him, her eyes wide with awe at the tone of voice Spike had used on her. Buffy wasn’t used to being spoken to that way. Spike continued. Needing desperately to explain himself to Buffy. “I want you. More than anything on this earth. And I know that your more than a girl. I know that you’re a woman. But I’m more than just a boy. I’m more than just a man.” Spike paused.

The vampire’s eyes scanned the ocean. The waves crashed to the shore in a rhythm more steady and comforting than any Spike had ever known. The blonde sighed and closed his eyes briefly before turning back to Buffy. “I have more demon in me than you can ever know.” Spike whispered, looking at Buffy through eyes clouded with fear and grief, but at the same time shining with love.

“Kiss me.” Buffy commanded.

”Slayer…” Spike began. However, Buffy’ s slender finger on his pale lips stopped him.

“No more lies.” Buffy whispered, before leaning up and kissing Spike. Her mouth sliding sensually over his. Spike broke off the kiss gently.

“Are you sure?” He asked. Buffy responded by kissing Spike once more. This time, more fiercely and desperately, as she struggled to show him just how passionately she felt for him.

Spike leaned backwards as Buffy pushed herself on top of him. Spike’s hands moved down her sides and settled on her hips as Buffy kissed him vigorously. Spike knew that Buffy was a sensual woman. However, he also knew that she wasn’t very experienced in the relationship area. Therefore, he was taken back by how quickly Buffy seemed to be moving. Her passionate kisses invoked feelings in Spike that he hadn’t felt since….forever.

Spike’s mind was jolted back to reality as Buffy moaned into his mouth. Spike took the opportunity to flip the slayer onto her back. The vampire paused, staring into Buffy’s wide eyes. The slayer nodded once, signaling Spike to continue. Spike wasted no time in slipping his hands underneath the slayer’s shirt. Buffy arched up, allowing Spike to pull her top off and gain better access to her bare breasts.

Spike needed one breast as he ran a finger around the slayer’s dark red nipple on the other breast. Buffy moaned, her eyes closed and lips quirked up in absolute pleasure. The sight of the slayer, so lost in Spike’s ministrations caused Spike to harden further, and his pants to become unbearably uncomfortable. However, he refused to relieve the tension until he brought the slayer pleasure.

Placing one of his long, slender fingers inside Buffy’s warm mouth, the slayer sucked on it, running her tongue around the pad of his finger. Buffy assumed Spike was going to bring his finger back to her nipple. Therefore, the slayer was pleasantly surprised when Spike captured her nipple within his mouth. Buffy moaned loudly and pushed her pelvis toward Spike’s craving friction. The vampire arched up, moving just out of Spike’s reach.

“Need…” Buffy moaned, trailing off as the feeling of Spike’s teeth biting gently on her nipple caused the slayer to lose all conscious trains of thought.

“Shhh. I’ll take care of you pet.” Spike whispered.

Spike had been keeping Buffy’s level of arousal steady. However, as she continued to moan, and grew increasingly frustrated trying to reach her release Spike increased her pleasure, moving a hand past the waistband of her pants. Spike pushed the slayer’s panties aside and attempted to suppress a moan as he found her panties soaked with arousal. Without further ado Spike thrust a finger into Buffy’s soaked center. Buffy moaned and thrust her hips toward Spike, urging him on.

Spike stroked Buffy’s clit lightly with his thumb and as he heard Buffy’s breath become more erratic. Quickening his pace, Spike bent down and lick Buffy’s ear lightly, before whispering in her ear, “I love you.” Buffy came with a scream, her lips pushing up and her chest arched up.

Spike rubbed Buffy’s clit lightly as her breathing clamed down. The slayer opened her eyes and stared up at Spike, who was looking at her with a mixture of complete adoration, and wonder. Embarrassed under Spike’s scrutinizing gaze, Buffy arched up and captured Spike’s mouth in a kiss.

Spike became caught up in the kiss and therefore didn’t realize that Buffy was about to flip him over, until he found himself staring up into hazel eyes, twinkling mischievously.

“You going to have your wicked way with me now?” Spike asked. However, Buffy’s response wasn’t verbal, but was to lean down and rip Spike’s shirt open. Spike didn’t bother to protest as Buffy had quickly began kissing his chest. Her warm tongue flicked over Spike’s nipple and Spike suppressed a moan. The bleached blonde felt Buffy’s lips quirk into a smile while still pressed against his chest and Spike smiled at the sight of the shirtless slayer concentrating so hard on Spike’s well molded chest.

Buffy sensed that Spike’s thoughts had wandered as they often did. However, the petite slayer was not upset. She knew that, like her, Spike often reflected upon things because of how important to him they were. Still, the slayer wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to jolt the bleached blonde, who always seemed one step ahead of her, back to reality.

Buffy brought a hand down to the bulge in Spike’s pants and cupped it gently, causing Spike to moan loudly. However, Buffy continued her tantalizing minstrations, ignoring Spike’s pleas to be freed from his constricting pants. Buffy ran her hands up and down the Spike’s clothed shaft, smirking, (a habit she had picked up from Spike), as he rocked gently against her. When Buffy knew Spike needed more friction desperately, the slayer deftly unbuckled his pants and freed his raging erection.

Buffy paused for a moment, taking in the sight of Spike laying beneath her, completely at her mercy. She let the cool night breeze come over Spike before returning her hands to his massive cock and running them up and down gently. As Spike’s breathing (which she didn’t realize wasn’t necessary, and simply an old habit), became erratic, the slayer increased the pace. However, Spike began shaking his head no and Buffy removed her hands confused.

Spike flipped the slayer and began removing her pants as he explained, struggling to think clearly as his need clouded his thoughts as well as his vision.

“Inside you.” Spike muttered as he took in the sight of the entirely naked slayer. She was a vision of loveliness, perfection if it ever existed. Her beautifully tanned skin was accented by her plump breasts and flat stomach. The dark curls at the apex of thighs revealed her to have hair a light honey color. Spike thought he could stare at her all day. However, his lower half seemed to have other ideas and Spike wasted no more time in sliding up the slayer’s body and entering her slowly.

The pain Buffy felt from entry was quickly replaced by extreme pleasure as Spike gently rocked his hips. Buffy met him thrust for thrust as their pace sped up. Buffy’s feminine gasps as well as her slayer muscles holding tightly to Spike’s cock caused Spike to have to bit his lip from cumming.

“Beautiful.” Spike groaned, leaning down and capturing one of Buffy’s nipple’s in his mouth, biting down gently Buffy refused to let Spike gain the upper hand. Therefore, she summoned her slayer strength and flipped the bleached blonde, quickening the pace until he was at the brink of cumming. Abruptly, Buffy stopped, angering herself only slightly less than Spike, who let out a soft, inhuman growl. Buffy leaned down and whispered in his ear.

“Beautiful.”

The slayer took a much needed gasp of air as Spike thrust into her, filling her completely and sending Buffy over the edge. Spike followed immediately, his pleasure heightened when Buffy lightly bit down on his shoulder blade.

Buffy rolled off Spike, laying down in the sand next to him. Spike took a minute to compose himself as best as he could before looking over at Buffy. Without hesitation, Spike snuggled closer to her, draping an arm across the slayer’s stomach as Spike reached blindly for his duster, which he covered her with. Buffy soon drifted off to a peaceful sleep and Spike kept his eyes open, watching her chest move up and down with each breath of air. He was content to let her sleep, keeping watch for the rays of the sun which would mark the arrival of people coming to the beach, and mark the time when the lovers would leave their blissful surroundings and head back to the beach house. For now, Spike fooled himself into thinking he would never move. Everything was perfect. Little did Spike know, Giles and the scoobies were researching William the Bloody, coming closer and closer to uncovering the truth about Buffy’s lover.

Teach me how I should forget to think

-Romeo from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

It was early in the morning. Still, the small table in the Sunnydale library was filled. Both Willow and Xander were busy researching William the Bloody, while Giles was making tea.

“The tea’s ready.” Giles said, his voice resonating throughout the library. Willow and Xander looked up from the heavy volumes they were reading an smiled at one another. Both thinking how only Sunnydale’s library would have a stove in the back office. “Do you want any?” Giles asked, coming into the main library from his office, already holding a cup of warm tea in his hand.

“No thanks G-man.” Giles said, waving Giles away. Giles rolled his eyes, however, did not dignify Xander with a response.

“Willow?” Giles asked.

“No thanks.” Willow replied. “This reading is actually pretty exciting-“ Willow was cut off by Xander.

“To school obsessed people.” Giles smiled at this remark, thinking of Buffy and her distaste for research as well as her distaste for school. However, Giles tried to clear all thoughts of Buffy. Because thoughts of Buffy invariably led to thoughts, not only of the master vampire who was headed to kill her, but also of her weekend with Spike.

Though Giles had not known Buffy for long, he already felt protective of her. Giles almost considered Buffy his daughter. Therefore, the thought of his “daughter” spending the weekend with a boy was not too appealing. However, Joyce had seemed fine with it, and Giles knew that Buffy was a capable and intelligent young women, despite what the various principal’s at school seemed to think.

“Giles?” Willow asked tentatively, bringing the watcher back to reality.

“Yes.” Giles answered.

“We’ve looked through the books and made a pile of the ones that mention William the Bloody, but we still haven’t read through them.” Xander said.

“Well I think that’s enough for today. Enjoy what’s left of your Sunday, and I’ll see you all after school tomorrow.” Giles said.

“Are you sure?” Willow asked shyly.

“Yes Willow, but thank you for asking.” There was a short pause.

“See ya!” Xander called back to Giles, already at the doors. Willow followed, looking back only for a second before racing after Xander. Giles turned his back, muttering about ‘the teenagers of today’ before picking up a book from the large pile Willow and Xander had made. Setting his tea on the table Giles began to read.

The minutes ticked by until Giles was disturbed by an insistent tap on the shoulder. “Where’s everyone?” Cordelia asked impatiently, one hand on her hip, the other clutching an expensive purse.

“They left a few minutes ago.” Giles said. He took of his glasses and pulled a hankerchief from his tweed coat. “What’s wrong?”

“Does something have to be wrong.” Cordelia asked, outraged. “Maybe I just wanted to help Buffy, and the scoobies. Maybe I just wanted to save the world. Huh? Think about that tweed man.” Cordelia nearly screamed. Giles remained calm.

“So you want Willow to help you on your homework?” Giles asked.

“Just history.” Cordelia explained. Giles nodded, placing his glasses on the bridge of his nose once more.

“She and Xander are probably headed to the Bronze.” Giles guessed. He turned back to his books, took a sip of his tea and then turned back once more. Cordelia was still standing there.

”May I help you?” Giles asked, beginning to get impatient.

“Where’s Buffy and her new beau?” Cordelia asked.

“At the beach…still.” Giles replied.

“Oh. I guess they’re still having wild sex.” Cordelia replied nonchalantly. Giles mind began racing. He took another calming sip of tea and when he turned back to reprimand Cordelia on her desecration of the English language. Only the swinging of the library doors left any trace that the cheerleader had ever been there.

1 ATTHEBEACHATTHEBEACHATTHEBEACHATTHEBEACH

Spike and Buffy were in fact, not having wild monkey sex. They had moved to the beach house an hour before, to avoid getting caught in compromising positions by early morning joggers.

“Buffy.” Spike whispered. His voice soft and his breath cool against Buffy’s exposed neck. The slayer’s acknowledgment of his words was to bat him away with one hand. Spike caught her hand in mid-air, smiling at her back. “None of that love.” Spike admonished.

“I’m sleeping.” Buffy replied, getting slightly grouchy. Spike noticed her slight mood change and began to take a different approach to wake her.

Spike ran his cool hands under Buffy’s tank top. He palmed one of Buffy’s breasts and smiled arrogantly as he heard the slayer attempt to stifle a moan. “But there are so many things we could do if you were awake.” Spike whispered sensually, leaning close to her hear and nipping lightly at her shoulder. Buffy rolled over, smiling at Spike.

“Why whatever are you talking about?” Buffy asked, feigning innocence.

“A lovely walk on the beach….miniature golf……..or we could…stay in.” Spike suggested. Buffy leaned up to kiss Spike. However, the loud honking of a car horn broke the moon. Spike murmured a long stream of obscenities under his breath, many of which Buffy had never heard before, when the car alarm began beeping loudly.

“Way to kill the mood.” Buffy grumbled, nodding in the direction where the car alarm seemed to be coming from.

“Don’t you hate people like that.” Spike added.

“No.” Buffy replied, surprising Spike greatly.

“Huh?”

“I mean. I’ve faced demons, and vampire’s, and school bully’s.” Buffy said. Getting a smile from Spike at the last example. But all of them come and go, and I know that something worse will come. And until that thing comes along that’s worse than all the other’s. I won’t let myself hate. No one I’ve met, nothing I’ve fought has been worth hating.”

“Christ your amazing.” Spike said, looking down at Buffy in awe. “Compared to me…compared to anyone, your like a saint.” Buffy’s laughed. The sound of her feminine giggle resonating through the beach house.

“I’m not that good a girl.” Buffy whispered after a moment, smiling as she raced an eyebrow mysteriously.

“Oh I know pet.” Spike replied, rolling onto Buffy and kissing her deeply. Buffy smiled into the kiss, suddenly forgetting all problems in the world.





"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time."

Source Unknown

It was nice to be able to confide in Willow, Buffy realized, thinking back on the discussion she and Willow had just had, as she walked down the street and toward city hall. For the past while, Buffy had been hiding the fact that Spike and she were dating. She and Willow hadn’t had much to talk about, as Buffy had to be careful to avoid topics that reminded her of Spike. Which was just about everything. Now, however, Buffy and Willow easily found the farmiliar rhythym of gossip. Giggling and chatting for hours, Buffy had hated to leave. However, she had a delivery to make.

City hall gleamed against the setting afternoon sun. Buffy entered the glass doors, a slight bounce in her step.

“May I speak to William Crawford?” The slayer asked a middle aged security guard who sat behind a tall, mahogany desk, in City Hall lobby. The man turned toward a computer and typed for a few seconds.

“No one named William Crawford works here.” The man said, looking at her in confusion.

“Are you sure.” Buffy asked, biting down on her lower lip in confusion.

“I checked twice.” The security guard said, clearly exasperated. Buffy ignored the man’s blatant lie. Her confusion and worry overpowering it. The slayer turned without a goodbye, leaving the guard mumbling something about “kids today”

Outside Buffy looked around her at the busy streets, as if expecting to see Spike coming towards her. It had only been a day since she had last seen him, since they had come home from the beach. Still, Buffy worried about him. The slayer glanced down at the parcel clutched in her hand. Wrapped in silver paper with a silver bow tied on top, the package, when ripped away, would reveal a poetry book entitled Great Poems of the 1800s. Buffy knew that Spike would love the book, he loved poetry of the 1800s, and his old book was ratty. This one, was hardback, with thick pages and even a hand written message from her to him in the front cover. It read:

Dear William,

For so long my life has been defined by what I do. I’ve been a daughter, a student, a cheerleader, a girlfriend, a slayer. My whole purpose in life changed according to what others needed. When I was called as slayer I felt like my entire life was over. Like my entire purpose for living was gone. However, I adapted and began defining myself by what I did. I killed. I sought out demons and ended their existence. I was a warrior, a killer. Some called me a hero, but I knew I wasn’t.

But I’m not a slayer. You’ve shown me that. I’m not anything. I’m me. Just me. I’m not a girlfriend, a daughter, a student, cheerleader or girlfriend. The more I change to become what people want me to become, the more of myself I lose. And you’ve shown me that. Through poetry readings and nights on the beach you’ve exposed my tender side. Through sparring and patrolling you’ve exposed my warrior, and through your glances and kisses, every touch and look you send my way, you’ve exposed my heart. You opened up all parts of me, allowing me to become Buffy Anne Summers, a women who doesn’t change for anyone except herself.

Thank you for everything. My dreams of the future are filled with you. All my love.

Truly Yours,

Buffy Anne Summers

Buffy continued walking away from city hall as she thought about what the note had said. Filled with renewed hope she realized where her footsteps were taking her. To the mansion. Smiling Buffy began to quicken her pace to a slow jog.

The sun was sinking low into the sky as she approached the mansion, yet Buffy’s mind was as far as could be from her demons, vampire’s, or the mother whom Buffy knew would be worried. Instead, her mind was filled with only thoughts of Spike.

“Miss me?” A familiar British voice asked. Buffy turned to face Spike as his arms encircled her waist.

“I came to find you at city hall.” Buffy said, disappointed that she couldn’t walk home from work with Spike, also finding it odd. Though she shared much about her life, Spike would usually wait for her to ask a question before answering it. However, he always did so completely, so she never questioned his honestly.

“Why would I be at city hall?” Spike asked, realizing, not for the first time, what trouble leading a double life could be. He sifted through memories, trying to figure out why the slayer would look for him at the town headquarters.

“You work there.” Buffy said, raising an eyebrow at Spike. The vampire smiled, a lie forming in his mind.

“I thought I told you that they switched me to the mayor’s other office. A more private office just outside of town. I start work tomorrow.” Spike lied. Buffy studied him for a second, cocking her head to the side. Spike’s mind was racing, wondering if she believed him, praying that she did. The vampire didn’t think he could survive losing her.

“I wish you’d told me.” Buffy said. “I have a gift I wanted to give you.” The petite slayer continued, this time a playful tone in her voice. Spike smiled inwardly. Mission accomplished.

“For me?” Spike asked, glancing down at the package in the slayer’s hands. Buffy nodded. However, as Spike grabbed for it she pulled it just out of his reach. “Magic words.” Buffy commanded.

“Please.” Spike said, looking longingly at the gift.

“Nope.” Buffy replied with a shake of her head.

“Abra Cadabra.” Spike tried. The slayer shook her head once more. Spike paused for a second. Then smirked. “How about either give me that present or I’ll take it from you.” Spike said, a come hither look in his eyes.

“You wanna’ get your ass kicked?” Buffy asked, dropping the present to the ground behind her.

“I’d love to see you try slayer.” Spike said. The fight was on.

The pair fought evenly. Neither holding back. Buffy was happy to spar with Spike. She enjoyed fighting with someone whom she didn’t need to hold back with, knowing that even though Spike insisted she was stronger than him, he was just being modest, as every time they had sparred before they had been evenly matched.

Buffy blocked a series of punches before aiming a kick at Spike’s midsection. It connected, sending him to the ground. However, the vampire quickly rolled out of it, grabbing the slayer behind her knee and sending her falling onto him. Buffy erupted into a fit of giggles as Spike struggled to get up to no avail.

“What?” The vampire asked angrily.

“Your duster….is caught….” Buffy began between laughs. Spike looked behind him to find that his duster had snagged on a tree branch. Quickly unhooking it he raced toward where the slayer had thrown the gift. Buffy stopped laughing and got up, walking over as Spike undid the ribbon hastily. Paper was thrown to the ground and Spike paused, the title staring back at him.

“It’s beautiful.” He whispered. Buffy smiled shyly. “No one’s ever given me a gift this beautiful before.” Buffy was surprised, and for a moment she contemplated asking him why he was so entranced by the book. However, she decided not to ruin the mood by prying. Instead, she opened the cover and pointed to the inscription.

“I wrote a note.” Buffy explained as Spike began reading. His lips moving slightly as he read each word. When he got to the end he looked up at the slayer, who was kicking a stone, obviously embarrassed. Spike wasted no time in grabbing her and kissing her softly but deeply. Buffy leaned into the kiss, all worries about where Spike was this afternoon fading away…for now….



Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?

Love is everything it's cracked up to be.

That's why people are so cynical about it.

It really is worth fighting for,

Being brave for,

Risking everything for.

And the trouble is,

If you don't risk anything,

You risk even more.

“I like this.” Buffy announced, lifting her head from Spike’s shoulder and staring straight into his eyes.

“What?” Spike asked, tilting his head slightly as Buffy studied his face. The slayer didn’t reply for a moment. Her breathing became light and a small sigh escaped her lips. Buffy brushed a lock of hair back onto Spike’s head and then rest her head against his shoulder once more.

“I like this part where we get to sit together.” Buffy said.

“Really?” Spike asked, smiling at Buffy. “Because I was under the impression that you liked another part best.” Spike continued, whispering the last sentence in Buffy’s ear and watching as she shivered slightly and her face turned bright pink in embarrassment.

Spike savored moments like these. Moments when Buffy was just a girl, and he, just a man. Not a vampire, or slayer, but a man and a women that he loved. He could almost pretend that all the lies he had told the slayer were true. Sometimes he would catch himself thinking about what it would be like to honestly be 19. To work for the mayor, and pick Buffy up after school. Not to feel his eyes widen with fear at the thought of Buffy going to find him at work, only to find out he didn’t work there. Spike knew the slayer would get suspicious if anything else happened that she was unprepared for. As a slayer, she was prone to think the natural was supernatural. And though Spike knew that’s what kept her alive. He was also afraid it would lead her to discover the truth. A truth of blood, violence and death. No, that couldn’t happen. Besides, Spike much preferred this truth. A truth where Buffy lay her head on his shoulder in complete trust, and where Spike was nothing more, and nothing less, than the man she blessed with her trust.

“Read me a poem.” Buffy requested with a yawn. Spike nodded, reaching over to where the gift Buffy had given him lay on the ground. Spike flipped randomly to a page and skimmed it. Recognizing a poem he liked, the vampire cleared his throat and began to recite.

Buffy smiled, more at the sound of Spike’s voice than the words of the poem. His calming, often sensual British accent rolled of his tongue, and it was as if every word of the poem was meant for Buffy. Everything about Spike was perfect. He could make her feel everything and anything with only a glance. One look was all it took to make Buffy’s body burn with embaressment. And another look, at it made for her body to burn with desire. Every touch, every accidental brush of the hand made her forget her inhibitions and feel like a women, strong and powerful. Not a young girl, struggling with life’s problems. The only other thing that had ever made her feel as confident as Spike did was slaying. When she was slaying she felt like she belonged. Like she was doing what she was created for. And with Spike, it was an even stronger sense of belonging. Like wherever she was, whatever she was doing was exactly what she was supposed to be doing, and where she was supposed to be doing it. With Spike, everything was exactly right.

Spike finished reading the poem he had picked out and watched Buffy as she began to drift off into sleep. Slipping into game face for a moment Spike sighed in disappointment. He could almost have sworn that he was no longer a demon. Feeling the ridges on his forehead Spike sliped back into his human face, kissing the slayer’s head softly, and dreading the time when she would have to leave him and go back home.

A few minutes passed and Spike gently shook Buffy from her slumber.

“What?” Buffy groaned.

“You have to go home pet.” Spike cooed softly, wishing that he could come up with some reason for her to stay, make night last just a bit longer. Fingering the magic necklace he wore Spike sighed as Buffy stood and stretched. The necklace was supposed to keep him safe in the sun. So why did Spike find himself only walking in once world, the world of the night?

“Wanna’ come over tomorrow night?” Buffy asked, shaking Spike from his thoughts.

“Your mom probably won’t like it.” Spike reminded Buffy, though inside he was jumping up and down with glee.

“Mom’s leaving town for a few days tomorrow morning.” Buffy said, biting her lip to keep from laughing as she watched Spike’s eyes light up. “I thought you could come over. And maybe in the morning you could come to school with me. Our school lets visitors spend a day.” Buffy explained. Spike leapt from the ground where he was sitting and pulled Buffy into a kiss.

The slayer leaned into the kiss, moaning softly as Spike’s kisses made their way down her neck. When he reached the base of her neck Spike stopped at the small scar that was their. Spike had noticed it before. However, he had always been too preoccupied with……other things, to ask about it. It looked like a vampire bite. Spike thought to himself. However, he shook that thought from his head when Buffy moaned at the feel of his cool breath against her neck. Spike licked the rim of her ear. “Tomorrow night.” He whispered. Buffy moaned in excitement and placed a firm kiss on Spike’s lips before turning and leaving the mansion, heading back to her house.

Spike slipped into game face once more as he watched her go.

“Yup. Still a demon.” He whispered softly. “Still a demon.”







“You know you’re in love when you feel like your heart’s been ripped out and stepped on……and you don’t care.”

-Tuesday Girl

After fifteen movies, 21 CD’s, and thirteen hours of shopping, Spike had arrived, prepared. He was finally ready. Ready to sweep Buffy off her feet. Spike had felt the past day gathering supplies and ideas for how to surprise Buffy. She had given him a gift, and he wasn’t just talking about the book of poetry. The slayer had given Spike a gift that he couldn’t even name. A gift more powerful than anything he had ever experienced. And now it was her turn to be romanced.

After Buffy had left the mansion last night Spike had gone to Sunnydale’s one and only video rental store, where he had picked out 15 chick flicks, movies that he was sure would have great ideas for pleasing the slayer. However, most of the movies led him in circle’s. It seemed that all the men in them, had ideas for romancing their girlfriends that were simply impossible to actualize. However, Spike was not a vampire known for giving up. So his next stop was a CD store, where he purchased all the CD’s that he thought might contain romantic, mood setting songs. Then Spike compiled a mix. His work didn’t stop there, though. Spike went shopping, and purchased candles, and red silk sheets. Roses and a beautiful necklace also filled his shopping bag. Then, Spike waited. That was probably his least favorite part of the plan. As tiring and embarrassing as the day had been, he’d been occupied. However, in the short amount of time when he was waiting, Spike managed to become sufficiently worried. Would the slayer like his idea? Would she laugh at him? Would she somehow come down with chicken pox at the last moment (even though he knew she’d already had them), he’d contract them, (even though he was a vampire), and they’d both die?

The bleached blonde vampire shook his head to clear those thoughts from his head. He didn’t have time to worry. Buffy had just left her house to patrol, she was going to meet Spike back in the house in an hour. That didn’t leave much time. Not to prepare what Spike had planned.



Timehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassed



Buffy opened the door to her house tentatively. For some reason she couldn’t shake the feeling that her mother would jump out of nowhere. However, when Buffy saw that the living room was deserted she breathed a sigh of relief, and headed up to her bedroom, planning to take a short shower and then pace in front of the door waiting impatiently for Spike. However, Buffy stopped, her mouth open and eyes wide when she entered her bedroom.

It was perfect, more than perfect. Prince Charming and Cinderella had nothing on them. Spike had gone all out, that much was obvious, and it had been well worth, the hour and three quarters of patrolling. Definitely worth it if Spike had used that time to do this. The bed was covered, not in Buffy’s usual girlish sheets, but in red silk. And the floor was covered in rose petals. Completely covered. Buffy slipped her shoes of and tentatively stepped onto the rose petals, closing her eyes in pleasure as the feel of the soft petals came in contact with her tender skin. Walking slowly, she headed closer and closer to the bed, where Spike sat.

The vampire looked better than ever, if that was even possible. He wore tight, black leather pants, and no shirt. With the light of the many candles that were lit, surrounding the room, his pale chest looked like moonlight was reflecting upon it. His bleached blonde hair appeared a magical white and the look of pure lust on his alone, was enough to drive Buffy wild.

“What are you staring at slayer?” Spike drawled sexily, not moving from where he lay.

“You.” Buffy answered, unashamed, her gaze not wandering from Spike’s tight abs. Spike smirked. Buffy was usually fairly shy at time like this, time when Spike confronted her. Her normally outgoing personality faded away to reveal a shy, young high school girl. But not tonight. Tonight Buffy was confident, and strong, and Spike could see the predatory glint in her eyes that told him without words that the slayer would be taking what she wanted.

Buffy had paused at the foot of the bed, so Spike motioned with one finger for her to come join him on the bed. Buffy obliged willingly, crawling up onto the silken sheets and leaning toward Spike, who pulled her impatiently toward him. The vampire then flipped the petite blonde. Pulling off the straps of the slayer’s tank top, slowly, Spike began speaking to Buffy in a hushed, sexy voice.

“Last night you gave me a gift” Spike whispered, motioning for Buffy to raise her arms in the air so Spike could remove her tank top. The slayer obliged. “Tonight. I’ll give you a gift.” Spike whispered, leaving the slayer’s skimpy black bra on, and instead, concentrating on her lower body. Removing her jeans slowly and tenderly Spike continued talking. “You gave me a poetry book, so that I could read of love and devotion, or pain and sorrow, happiness and pleasure.” Spike stared at Buffy, who was now naked except for her black bra and black underwear. Turning Buffy on her back Spike took in his breath sharply as Buffy’s hair fell from the loose bun it was in and cascaded down her back, shining with the light of the vanilla scented candles. Silent for a moment, Spike leaned in toward Buffy and nipped lightly at her shoulder blades, causing the slayer to suppress a moan. Then, the vampire gently unbuckled Buffy’s bra, and placed it in the back pocket of his jeans. Minutes later the feeling of Spike’s cool hands on the slayer’s back let Buffy know that she was being given a back massage.

“Nice.” Buffy moaned. Spike growled slightly.

“Just nice?” He asked, offended.

“Very nice.” Buffy reassured him. However, Spike was not satisfied. The evening was supposed to be perfect, and Buffy was supposed to be left incapable of speech, and if not, defiantly saying more than just, “very nice.”

Spike flipped the slayer onto her back and removed her black underwear. Taking a moment to stare at her, Spike admired her figure. So beautiful, but so deadly. He finally understood the lure of the tree of knowledge, in the Garden of Eden. The idea of something forbidden was enticing, but his love for Buffy was so much more than that. Because in this case, the forbidden fruit happened to be the most perfect goddess he’d ever met in his entire un-life.

Buffy groaned slightly, and Spike smirked, knowing that the slayer was growing unpatient.

“Something you want love?” Spike asked, conversationally, trying to downplay the effect a naked slayer was having on him, and trying to downplay the strong urge he was having to touch her. However, Buffy saw the desire glinting in his eyes. Deciding to put on a show for him the slayer arched off the bed and moaned, bringing her full breasts in contact with Spike’s palms. The vampire couldn’t resist her. Leaning down her began to fondle her breasts. kneading Buffy’s full breasts and tweaking her rosy nipples, Spike hardened considerably as the slayer moaned underneath him.

Buffy lifted her pelvis toward Spike, craving the friction that would end in sweet release. Spike unbuckled his jeans and pulled then down, his hands still working on Buffy’s breasts. The slayer gasped in anticipation as Spike’s rock hard cock was pushed down so that it lay against her clit, so close to penetrating Buffy that it was driving her wild. Buffy began to rotate her hips, trying to force Spike to enter her. However, the vampire remained strong, raising himself slightly on his forearms to avoid Buffy’s inviting folds to come in greater contact with him.

“Spike. I need you.” Buffy moaned.

“Not yet love.” Spike replied, tracing a hand down Buffy’s stomach and to the curl in the apex of her thighs. “You don’t need me yet, your not ready for me. Not until you can hardly talk, can hardly breathe. Then I’ll make you come, when your lying beneath me, perfectly still, because you can’t summon the energy to move, just laying there, feeling what I do to you. Then I’ll be there for you. I’ll push myself deep inside you, fill you up and watch you come. And you’ll squeeze me so tight I’ll wish that I never have to leave you.” Spike punctuated each syllable with a thrust of his hand, as he rested the palm of his hand atop Buffy’s curls. As Buffy moaned, her voice strangled with pleasure, Spike increased her arousal. Not sure how much longer he could hold out.

Spike rubbed Buffy’s clit gently with his thumb, watching the slayer as her muscles clenched and she concentrated on trying to reach her release.

“Don’t work so hard baby.” Spike whispered. “Just let me please you. Tonight’s for you.” Buffy moaned loudly as her arousal increased, the smell permeating the air and causing Spike to harden further. Buffy began thrashing on the bed, moaning uncontrollably under Spike’s talented hands. Suddenly Buffy became still, her inside’s felt like they were exploding with the force of her muscles clenching, so near her orgasm. However, on the outside Buffy was completely calm. Spike wasted no time in entering the slayer. However, what he didn’t count on was payback. Buffy flipped Spike as soon as he was buried inside her and began riding him.

“Buffy.” Spike moaned.

“You like?” Buffy asked, her voice breathy as she struggled to make out the words through her pleasure.

“Just like that…yeah…uhh.” Spike moaned. “Just like that baby.” After a few moments Spike felt Buffy’s muscles clench around him. He came with her, both screaming each other’s names in total ecstasy.

Neither had time to think many coherent thoughts before drifting off to sleep, Spike spooned against Buffy, his arm laying over her stomach and his ear close to her ear. Spike thought one thing as he drifted off to sleep. I’ll tell her tomorrow. He thought. However, Spike had the sinking suspicion that he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to tell her.







"Being in love is what makes working all week bearable. It makes cruising with your windows rolled down feel like you're riding in a convertible. It makes you dance to the rythm of the copy machine and makes Friday night really feel like THE WEEKEND."

Julie Hintz

She didn’t want to wake him. Didn’t want to see the peaceful look wiped off his face. But she had to. So Buffy gently shook Spike awake. He moaned when his cool arms felt Buffy’s soft fingers dancing upon them.

“I could think of better ways to be awoken.” Spike said, opening one eye and glancing at Buffy. She looked perfect. Though Spike felt that he was a little biased, considering Buffy was wearing wel….nothing.

“What?” Buffy asked, growing confused and embarrassed at the way Spike was looking at her.

“You’re beautiful. You know that, right?” Spike asked.

“Yeah.” Buffy answered, tilting her head slightly to the side.

“You’re beautiful.” Spike repeated.

“You just said that.” Buffy replied, confused.

“No. This has nothing to do with mirrors, or with love. I’m telling you your beautiful. This is so much more than anything we could possibly share.” Spike said.

“Is something wrong?” Buffy asked, placing a warm hand on Spike’s forehead. Spike sat up on his elbows and then all the way up. Taking Buffy’s face gently in his hands he brought it within inches of his own.

“Your beautiful.” Spike repeated. Buffy nodded, for the first time getting it.

“I’m beautiful.” She repeated. Spike nodded, satisfied, and changed the mood from serious to lighthearted.

“Now beautiful, tell me why you woke me at this ungodly hour of the morning?” Spike asked, mock scowling.

“School.” Buffy responded. At Spike’s blank look she continued. “Your going to school with me. Remember.”

“I remember…or would if I’d have a decent amount of sleep.” Spike groaned, falling back onto the bed and covering his head with a pillow. Spike knew he was acting like a teenager, not a master vampire. But he couldn’t help it.

“You need to get up.” Buffy commanded, slightly more sternly. Spike groaned in response. Buffy decided to try to get Spike out of bed a different way.

“Spike.” She whispered, leaning over the vampire’s ear. “I still need to shower.”

“So. Go do that and let me sleep.” Spike suggested, his face still buried beneath a pillow.

“The problem is. There are some parts of me that are hard to wash.” Buffy said, raising the pitch of her voice to sound more coy. Spike took the pillow from his head, looking at Buffy.

“What can I do?” Spike asked.

“Maybe if you could just…” Buffy trailed off and brought Spike’s hands to her chest. The slayer ran them over her breasts and then down to her womanhood. “…help.”

Buffy could barely blink and Spike had already hopped out of bed and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the bathroom. However, he stopped abruptly in front of the door.

“This is all wrong.” Spike said. Buffy looked at him questioningly. However, Spike didn’t need to respond. All it took were some simple actions. Spike lifted the naked slayer off her feet and carried her, honeymoon style, across the bathroom threshold, placing her in the shower. Buffy giggled happily and allowed Spike to lead her into the shower. Where they washed….many times.



At School



Buffy and Spike took seats seconds before Biology class started. Though they had taken biology last year. Sunnydale insisted upon teaching it twice. Probably because they had extra biology textbooks and not enough funding. The teacher began lecturing.

“The praying mantis is a fascinating creature.” She began. Buffy, Willow and Cordelia turned to Xander, who sat, hiding behind his textbook, red faced. Spike looked questioningly at Buffy who leaned over and whispered in his ear. However, she had not gotten very far in the story, when her teacher spotted she and Spike talking.

“Miss Summers. Do you have a…” The teacher stopped talking and stared at Spike. Buffy reached into her pocket, preparing to take out the note that gave permission for Spike to attend classes with Buffy. However, the teacher ignored Buffy’s outstretched hand that contained the note.

“Who’s this?” She asked. Her voice becoming higher pitched as she spoke.

“Spike.” The vampire replied, sensing something was up with the teacher. The teacher, Miss Ramano walked over and stood in front of the desk Spike occupied. While standing in front of it she ‘accidentally’ dropped her pen. Ignoring Spike’s offers to retrieve it for her. The teacher bent down and retrieved the pen, pausing for a moment as she grasped the pen, her legs straight, her shirt falling down slightly. Spike turned back to Buffy who was looking at the teacher in disgust. Xander laughed loudly and Spike resisted the urge to flash some fang at him, and instead, settled for a piercing glare. Xander shut up quickly, but not before sticing his tongue at Spike, childishly.

Miss Ramano finally stood up. “Spike’s an interesting name?” She said, trying to start a conversation. However, Buffy cut in, saving Spike, who she could see was going to start being mean.

“So…the praying mantis. That’s interesting stuff.” The slayer said. Spike held back a snicker.

“What about the praying mantis Miss Summer’s?” The teacher asked. Willow cut in.

“Everying Miss Ramano. Gosh. Preying Mantis is one heck of a bug. I mean, did you know that the praying mantis is helpful in gardens? And did you know…” Willow was cut off by Miss Ramano.

“I get the picture Miss Rosenburgh.” Miss Ramano said.

“Good.” Buffy replied, relieved that Miss Ramano had taken a hint. However, she was appalled when Miss Ramano proceeded to write her phone number and name on a piece of paper and indescretely slip is to Spike. Then, walk to the front of the class and continue with the lecture as if she had not just hit on a nineteen year old. Spike smiled at Buffy, rolling his eyes as he tore up the phone number. Buffy smiled back and returned her attention to the lecture, allowing the words to roll over her unheeded as Spike’s hands rubbing her lower back took her full attention. Yup. She could definitely get use to a biology class that ended this way.





"Love is when the woman of your dreams becomes a reality and sleep stops being a priority."

Source Unknown

“Where to now?” Spike asked. The pair was walking through the school halls after a class bell had just wrung.

“Lunch.” Buffy said. Spike smiled and took hold of the slayers hand. Buffy weaved her fingers through Spike’s and sighed. When the pair entered the cafeteria most eyes turned. Though many of the students had already seen Spike and Buffy together, many had not. Spike watched, grinning cockily, as most female heads turned his way. However, when a few of the male heads also turned, obviously looking at Buffy in all her mini skirt, belly shirt glory, Spike growled slightly. However, Buffy ignored everything that was happening and pulled Spike toward a table where her friends already sat. Willow smiled and she and Buffy began chatting. Spike listened with half an ear.

“So. You think he likes me?” Willow asked.

“Definitely.” Buffy responded. The girls leaned closer to one another. “I don’t know much about him. All I found out from visiting the girls bathroom was that he’s a senior, he plays guitar for a band…I forget the name, and everyone calls him Oz.”

“He makes my palms sweat.” Willow said, an excited gleam lighting up her eyes.

“I know what you mean.” Buffy said, turning to Spike and placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Break it up!” A familiar voice yelled. Buffy and Spike felt small hands pushing them apart, only moments later.

“Principal Snyder, I…” Buffy began, however Snyder cut her off.

“This is not an orgy people. I’m watching you Summer’s. You and…” Principal Snyder trailed off and looked strait into Spike’s eyes, unflinching. However, Spike didn’t like principal Snyder very much. On occasion, Buffy had talked about the principal, and Spike had learned that Snydar was a rude bastard, with no respect for Buffy, or the work she did. Spike had been around a long time, and he was pretty good at reading people. Snydar definitely gave him a bad feeling. Therefore, Spike stared strait into Principal Snydar’s eyes, and when no one was watching, flashed his game face. Snydar stuttered something about a staff meeting, and left quickly.

“What did you do?” Buffy asked.

“Just showed the bastard who he’d be dealing with if he messed with you.” Spike said, his voice confident and proud.

“I can take care of myself.” Buffy said, her eyes narrowing slightly.

“I know love.” Spike said, not wanting to start an argument with the slayer. “I just like getting to protect you from time to time. Besides, you can’t slay principal’s.”

“But it would be fun.” Willow added quickly. Buffy smiled at that and the two girls continued their discussion. Spike turned to Xander who was staring at him like he was the devil himself.

“What is it boy?” Spike asked. The vampire couldn’t help but act like master vampire when talking to Xander. Call it male ego, but Spike didn’t like the idea that Xander, who always seemed to be looking at Buffy in a way that made it seem like they were more than just friends, was always hanging around.

“Buffy has a lot of people who love her.” Xander said.

“I know. I count myself among them.”

“If you hurt her. I’ll hurt you.” Xander said.

“I’d like to see you try.” Spike said, looking Xander strait in the eye.

“Try what?” Buffy asked, cutting into the conversation.

“Nothing love.” Spike said.

“Yeah Buffster, just guy talk. You know, football, women…” Xander stopped when Buffy hit Spike lightly on the arm.

“Hey!” Spike protested. “I was simply saying how other woman don’t hold a candle to you love.” Buffy smiled at that comment and when she turned to Xander, he was also smiling slightly.

Xander liked Spike. They weren’t best friends, and you definitely couldn’t tell by the way he acted, But Xander liked him. Angel always made Buffy cry. With Spike, Buffy always seemed happy. She smiled more and laughed at his jokes. And certainly he loved her, but what he was learning he loved most about her was the way she acted when with Spike. Besides, there were other fish in the sea. And Xander couldn’t stop thinking that Cordelia was looking pretty nice today…

“So, the school day is over.” Spike said.

“Yup.” Buffy replied.

“So. I thought, if you don’t have plans. We could go back to your place, and…get our money’s worth out of the silk sheets.” Spike finished in a whisper. Buffy shivered in anticipation.

“That sounds nice.” Buffy answered. However, at that moment Giles came down the hall.

“Buffy. Excellent. I was afraid that you and William had left.” Giles said, smiling brightly. Buffy groaned.

“What is it Giles. End of the world?” Buffy asked, keeping a strait face.

“Ha, ha, ha.” Giles said, clearly not amused. “Actually, I just thought we could train for a bit.”

“I guess I should.” Buffy said, turning to Spike with a look of apology on her face. “I know that you said there was a demon coming.”

“What demon?” Spike asked, worried. Though he knew the slayer could handle herself, he didn’t like the thought of any demon that she and her watcher wold be worried about, getting near her.

“Some master vampire named William the Bloody.” Buffy said flippantly. Spike’s eyes widened.

“How do you know?” Spike asked, worried. From stories Buffy had told the scoobies seemed to always find what they were looking for. Of course, Spike was glad of that fact, he knew it was what kept Buffy alive. However, he was also slightly worried that they would discover him. But it wasn’t time yet, he couldn’t tell Buffy, he couldn’t risk losing her, not yet.

“A friend told me.” Buffy said, not ready to talk about Angel.

“Oh.” Spike said. “Well, you have to train, I’ll meet you at the mansion later tonight. Right?”

“Sure.” Buffy responded. Then, leaning up and whispering in Spike ear the petite blonde said, “clean up my room for me? I don’t want mom finding it.”

“Sure.” Spike responded. “You train, I’ll clean, then meet me at the mansion and we can patrol together.” Buffy smiled and went into the library with Giles. Spike headed out of school and toward Buffy’s home, trying not to think too much on what would happen if he told Buffy he was a vampire, if he told her he had lied to her. One think was for sure things were going to get very interesting…

“So I’m done?” Buffy asked eagerly.

“That’s all for today.” Giles said, smiling as Buffy ran to the bathroom to change back from her training clothes to her school clothes. When she returned the blonde grabbed her bag off the table, waved and headed to the door. However, Giles stopped her.

“Actually, wait one moment.” Giles said. “I’ve been going through as many books as I could find on our mysterious William the Bloody. However, I haven’t been able to find much on him. I think these last few books will prove more fruitful.”

“And you want me to be research gal?” Buffy asked.

“Just take one with you and look through it please.” Giles said.

“Good!” Buffy said, happy not to have to stay at school and research. Giles smiled and said goodbye to Buffy. In all honesty he had wanted her to stay and research with him. However, seeing Buffy and Spike together made him happy. Buffy looked so happy, when she was with Spike she didn’t seem to feel the burden of her sacred duty. Giles watched the swinging doors of the library until they stopped moving and then sat down and continued his research. His sayer was happy, and Spike seemed like a good guy. Things were finally falling into place. Giles was sure whatever demon was heading their way would be no problem. Things were finally falling into place…





"No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you, because at one time or another it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."

-anonymous

Buffy looked down with disbelief at the page in front of her. The musty old book that Giles had given her from the library spoke about demons, vampire’s, werewolves, and all sorts of other mystical creatures. But what Buffy didn’t expect was the information she found on William the Bloody. Earlier conversations came flowing back to her.

* No more lies.” Buffy said as she snuggled into Spike’s protective embrace. “No more lies.” Spike whispered*

Buffy raised her face to the sky as tears dripped down her face and onto the pages The ink ran slightly, but Buffy didn’t care, she began to sniffle softly, holding back the sobs that threatened to come.

“Buffy? Slayer?” Spike asked, coming out into the courtyard of the mansion. “What’s wrong?” Spike asked, when he noticed the slayer’s glossed over eyes. Spike fully expected Buffy to rush into his arms, to allow him to comfort her and protect her. However, the slayer stayed seated, not even looking at Spike. After a moment of pulling herself together, Buffy looked strait into his eyes.

“When were going to tell me?” Buffy asked.

“What?” Spike asked, is voice slightly breathy in disbelief.

“I have the proof right here. Giles gave me a book. I didn’t know how valuable it’s information was.”

“Give me that book.” Spike commanded, needing to see it, to find some way to tell her it wasn’t true.

“Over my dead body.” Buffy ground at. “Though that shouldn’t be a problem for you.” Buffy added, moving from her seated position, to standing.

“Buffy, what does it say love? What’s going on?”

“William the bloody, known as Spike. Spike has earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad Spike’s. Spike has fought two slayer’s in the last century. And, he’s killed them both.” Buffy read, her voice clear, it’s gentle but angry tone echoing in Spike’s ears. “So when we’re you going to do it?” Buffy asked.

“Slayer, you need to listen to me.” Spike pleaded, his eyes begging an audience with her.

“So what? You can reveal your master plan before you drain me!” Buffy screamed at him.

“I love you!” Spike screamed. Buffy held up a hand, signaling for him to stop talking. She closed her eyes, not speaking for a moment.

“I hate you.” She whispered.

“But you said that you didn’t hate people. You said that-” Spike was cut off.

“I have never met someone that I hated. I never believed that it could get worse. But I hate you. I refuse to live in a world where someone out there is worse than you.” Buffy ground out angrily. “No more lies, remember. But I didn’t realize that the one person that I’ve felt this way about was lying right as he said that!”

“If you let me explain…” Spike began.

“Fine.” Buffy said.

“Fine?” Spike asked, obviously not expecting that answer.

“Talk to me. Tell me that this is all some terrible mistake. That Spike is just a nickname because your name is William, and his name is William, and maybe, this is some horrible mistake.” Buffy paused, taking a deep breath. “Tell me!” She begged.

“I love you. You know me better than anyone in the entire world.” Spike said.

“I don’t love you. I love the man who wrote poetry, I love the man who held me close and kissed me so sweetly. I loved the man who covered my floor in rose petals. The man who I loved, never existed!”

“It is me! I’m that man.”

“The man I loved, never existed.” Buffy repeated.

“I’m so sorry.” Spike whispered, feeling tears welling up in his eyes.

“You think your sorry now, wait and see how sorry you’ll be when you realized I just walked out that door and I’m not coming back.” Buffy said, tears flowing freely down her face. Buffy picked the book off the ground and began running. Strait past Spike she ran until her sops had grown so violent she couldn’t breathe. The petite slayer found herself in front of the library. Rushing in she ran passed the swinging library doors and came face to face with Giles, who was still researching. Giles didn’t look up, he just began talking.

“Buffy.” He said. “I think I found some information about our mysterious William the Bloody. It’s bad, but…” Giles trailed off when he looked up at Buffy for the first time. “Good heavens. What’s wrong?” Giles asked.

“Spike…” Buffy said. “Spike’s a vampire. He’d William the Bloody.” Buffy managed to get out in between sobs, before collapsing into Giles arms. Giles pulled his slayer close. He held her as she sobbed, her tears falling on his tweed suit. When Buffy had calmed down Giles took her home. Buffy snuck in her window and fell asleep quickly, Joyce didn’t even notice that Buffy had been gone, she was already asleep, tired from her trip. Giles climbed out the window the way he came and headed to find Angel. Spike would die. He wouldn’t get a chance to kill Buffy. He’d hurt her enough already.

Spike lay on a cot in the mansion, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to think about what to do, what he could have done. ALl those times he could have told her. Buffy was a unique slayer, she had family and friends, Spike could have talked to her, she might have been just unique enough to accept him, to love him. Spike was pulled from his thoughts when a booming voice spoke. Spike looked up and found himself staring into Mercaptil’s, the demon who sent him, eyes.

“What do you want?” Spike asked, his voice laced in pain.

“I can feel it. The pain. Seeping into your soul. Burning at you. I can make it stop.” Mercaptil said.

“What are you talkin’ bout?” Spike asked.

“Your dark goddess. I know you feel responsible for her death. I can bring her back to you. You don’t have a chance with the slayer anyway, it is best this way. I can bring your love back. I can bring Drucillia back.” Mercaptil promised. Spike closed his eyes, not speaking. Suddenly he spoke the words that would change everything.

“Do it.” He whispered. And it was done.





You are the reason I can't sleep…

Learn the real meaning of those 3 words you used

Don't think that you can come back

I don't love you

Just the image of yourself that you wanted me to see

It doesn't exist

Neither do you in my eyes…

-unknown

Spike had a dream that night. He dreamed of Drusillia, of Prague, of what had happened. Spike was running, in front of him he could see an angry mob, armed with pitchforks, crosses and torches. “Drusillia! Dru!” Spike screamed, panicked. However, he could see her, approaching the mob, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“My Spike.” Drusillia said, turning back to Spike and speaking to him, knowing that his vampire hearing would allow him to understand what she was saying. “I must be near the pretty fire.”

“Dru! No!” Spike screamed, approaching the mob. However, it was too late. An angry man had thrust the fiery edge of the torch into her stomach, and the entire mob was watching in morbid fascination as she went up in flames.

“Oh god no.” Spike whispered, kneeling in front of the pile of ashes that was all that remained of Drusillia. She hadn’t even screamed, hadn’t even cried out in pain. She had instead, simply reached through her mind and called to Spike. “The flames are so warm, they’re so pretty. They dance for me my sweet William. They dance for me like the daisies in the valley.” Spike’s face changed to reveal his demon…

Spike awoke with a start, his unnecessary breath came in small gasps. The vampire remembered what had come next, he had killed them. All of them. And not only the mob, but their families and friends. It was the greatest, most bloody vampire massacre in the entire history of demons. Spike had left the entire town in ruins. He had drained everyone in the town, and after that, set fire to the church. Two days later, when Spike returned, the entire town was burnt to the ground.

Mercaptil had told Spike he would dream of Drusillia, that his dream would be the sign that the spell was working. However, Spike had just realized something. This was no dream, this was the past. There was a difference. Dreams…dreams were things that Spike shared with Buffy. Dreams were hopes of the future, and reflections of the past. What Spike had just gone through was the past. Drusillia was his past. Buffy, the slayer was his future. Spike needed to make sure that the spell was stopped. He didn’t want Drusillia back. He wanted Buffy. Spike was persistent, confident, often arrogant. But more than that, he was a dreamer. And he would make sure that his dreams of Buffy understanding him, his dreams of he and Buffy together again, with no more lies, became a reality.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Spike whispered. “After two hundred some years of being alive, I think I’m finally maturing…”

Buffy fumbled blindly around for the phone. She groaned as she picked it up. “Hello.”

“Hey sweetie.” Buffy’s mother’s familiar voice said.

“Hi mom.” Buffy whispered into the phone, moving herself into a sitting position.

“How are you holding up?” Her mother asked. “I spoke to Mr. Giles and he suggested I let you sleep today. He said you didn’t feel well last night when you two were studying”

“I’m…” Buffy’s voice trailed off as the past night’s events came back to her. It hurt so badly. “I’m okay.” Buffy finished, biting her lip as she tried to hold back tears.

“Honey, if you want I can come back home.” Joyce suggested.

“I have to go.” Buffy whispered. “Bye.” The slayer hung up without giving her mother a chance to respond.

Buffy didn’t think she had any more tears to cry. However, as soon as the phone was hung up, the slayer allowed tears to flow freely down her face. Her hazel eyes glossed over and she let out sobs, strong sobs that wracked her entire body. However, Buffy didn’t have time to fully cry before the phone rang once more.

“Hello.” Buffy whispered into the reciever.

“Hey Buffy.” Willow said perkily.

“Hey Will.”

“Giles told me…what happened. Are you okay?” Willow asked. However, before Buffy had a chance to respond she spoke again. “Sorry, stupid question.”

“I don’t know Willow. I honestly don’t know how I feel. Right now it hurts so badly, but there’s another part of me that feels numb. I feel like it’ll only get worse. Oh Willow” Buffy began sobbing, “I feel like I’ll die.”

“Oh Buffy. Do you want me to come over?” Willow asked. “It’s lunch right now, and after that all I have is one period. I can come over after school.” Willow suggested.

“No. I’m okay. Thanks though.” Buffy said.

“If your sure.” Willow said, obviously not wanting to leave Buffy alone all night.

“I’ll live.” Buffy whispered. The two hung up. Buffy allowed sobs to once again form in her throat. The slayer fell asleep crying.

“Spike.” Willow whispered. The redhead had skipped her lunch hour and gone to the mansion, where Buffy said she and Spike often went to be alone.

“Buffy?” Spike asked hopefully, coming out of the room where he had been sleeping. Spike’s shirt was off and his hair was not in it’s usual slicked back, instead it flowed more freely.

“It’s me.” Willow said as Spike rubbed his eyes and looked upon her.

“Does slayer know your hear?” Spike asked, it was the first thing that crossed his mind, the idea that the slayer may have sent Willow, her best friend to talk for her.

“No.” Willow replied. And Spike’s hope was crushed.

“What are you doing here then?” Spike asked, his voice soft yet warning.

“Buffy told us all what happened. We all know.” Willow said.

“So what then. Come here to kill me?” Spike asked. “Have a piece of wood nearby with my name on it.”

“Giles and Xander will stake you. I know they’re planning something.” Willow said.

“And you think they’ll kill me.” Spike said. “I’m stronger than you could imagine little girl.” Spike said, his voice hard and cold. However, Willow saw his sadness. “Or are you worried that maybe I’ll kill them?” Spike asked.

“You won’t kill them.” Willow said confidently.

“Why not?” Spike asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Because you still love Buffy. That’s why your not killing her now, and it’s why you never planned on killing her.” Willow said.

“It’s true. But she’ll never believe me.” Spike said, speaking to himself more than willow. “She’s everything to me. She’s my dream. But she’s more amazing because she’s real. It’s like my entire life I thought dreams were something to hope for, to wish for but never achieve, the way you can never catch the horizon, no matter how hard you run. But she’s here, and she’s real, and I lost her. I feel like the sky just faded away. I feel like there is no horizon. I feel like the world has ended.” Spike finished in a whisper.

“If I get her here, will you talk? Will you promise not to hurt her?” Willow asked.

“I love her. I will do anything for her. And I will never, ever hurt her.” Spike said, staring Willow strait in the eyes and speaking sincerely. Willow nodded before turning to leave. However, Spike spoke as she reached the door.

“You’re a good friend red. No matter what happens between the slayer and I. I know I don’t deserve her, or her forgiveness. You know it too. But you also know that she’s in pain, and you’ve come to me to try and help her. She’s lucky to have you.” Spike said, finishing in a whisper.

“Just don’t let me down Spike.” Willow said. “And I’ll see what I can do.”







"Who shall say that the maiden so pretty and fair shall always have the greater man; and the ogre who walks to the beat of thundering clouds will never find her prince?"

Source Unknown

“I came over anyway.” Willow explained, as a red eyed Buffy opened the door to her home and found Willow there, armed with tissues and cookies.

“I’m glad.” Buffy admitted honestly. The pair went upstairs and sat on Buffy’s bed.

“Want some chocolate chip cookies?” Willow asked. “Good for the heart and good for the soul.”

“I’m not hungry.” Buffy replied somberly.

“Buffy. Your not happy, right?” Willow asked innocently.

“Of course not.” Buffy answered, looking up at Willow, slightly angrily. Willow put up a had to show she meant no harm and Buffy silently apologized with her eyes.

“I think you should talk to Spike then.” Willow said.

“What!” Buffy almost screamed. “You want me to what, go back and tell him I want to have a relationship again. Go back and tell him that it doesn’t matter that he lied to me, that he tried to kill me!”

“But he didn’t try to kill you, and I don’t think he was planning to.” Willow insisted. Buffy took a breath and began again in a softer voice.

“He lied to me. He’s not the man I fell in love with. And I may still love him, but I won’t have him knowing that.” Buffy said.

“Your punishing him because your angry at him, and I know that he’s hurting because of it. But Buffy, you have done nothing wrong.” Willow said. Buffy looked up at her and nodded. Willow continued. “So why are you punishing yourself. Why are you in pain for something that you didn’t do.”

“I…” Buffy began.

“Talk to him.” Willow urged softly.

“I…”

“Talk to him. You owe yourself that.”

“Fine.” Buffy said in a barely audible whisper. “We’ll talk.” Buffy’s face reflected sadness. However, inside her heart was shining with hope. Talking was how it was started. And who knows. Maybe talking would make it all okay. It wasn’t like she had anything left to lose.





I’m ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire, the yearning to be near you…And I don’t know how to let you go…

Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachan

“Buffy.” Cordelia said, rushing through the crowded hallways of Sunnydale high to speak to the slayer. Buffy raised an eyebrow at Cordelia. It was hard enough being back at school so soon after her break up (betrayal). But add Cordelia Chase into the mix and it seemed like the day was not going to be a good one.

Cordelia, ever tactless, failed to notice Buffy’s raised eyebrow, or her exasperated sigh, and instead, began talking.

“I’ve been thinking about Xander.” Cordelia began. That caught Buffy’s surprise. The slayer had seen Xander looking at Cordelia, and knew he had at least some kind of crush on her. However, Buffy had assumed it was merely a physical attraction. Xander was, after all, only male. He shouldn’t be held accountable for his lack of taste. However, now that Cordelia was inquiring about Xander, in a way that seemed more than just a little suspicious, the slayer began to wonder about the feelings that were forming between the two.

“What about Xander?” The slayer asked, snapping back to reality.

“Is he going out with anyone?” The head cheerleader asked, trying to keep her voice even. However, Buffy had already figured out where the series of questions were heading. Still, before the petite blonde could answer, Cordelia spoke again. “No, of course he isn’t. I mean this is Xander, he’s a loser. He’s not dating anyway…is he?”

“No.” Buffy replied, smiling slightly, something it seemed that she hadn’t done in ages, though in truth it had only been two days.

“Then I’ll go.” Cordelia said. “Not to find him.” The cheerleader quickly said, amending the statement.

“I never said you were.” Buffy said, still smiling at the cheerleader. Cordelia turned to go, however, she glanced back at Buffy, as if deciding about something, and then turned back around, without even a ‘thank you.’

Buffy went on the tips of her toes and watched as the cheerleader headed toward Xander’s locker. Buffy smile was erased from her face as she thought about the day Spike had come to school with her…and the night before…and all the nigh and days before that. However, Buffy’s train of thought was stopped as a question formed in her mind. Sunlight…sunlight! Spike had been able to go out in the sun. But that shouldn’t have been possible. Buffy contemplated going to Giles to ask him about it. However, the thought of having to speak Spike’s name aloud brought tears to her eyes, so Buffy suspected saying it would hurt even more. Instead, the slayer assumed it to be some kind of spell, and headed to her last class of the day.

On the way she passed Oz’s locker. Oz was a guitar player, and it seemed that he had his eye on Willow. It also seemed that Willow had her eye on Oz. Buffy thought it would be nice, to see her friends all in relationships. However, when Buffy went further up the hall she found Willow standing by her locker, but not alone. No, Willow was standing next to a girl with light brown hair. When Willow saw Buffy she turned and smiled widly.

“Hey Buffy.” The redhead greeted her friend. Buffy managed to get a weak smile across her lips, knowing that she couldn’t fool her friend into thinking she was happy anyway, so why try.

“Who’s this?” Buffy asked, nodding her head in the direction of the brown haired girl.

“Oh. This is Tara, she’s new. Buffy, Tara…Tara, Buffy.” Willow said. Tara managed a soft hi, as well as a wave, but Willow continued talking. “Tara knows all about demons. She does spells and said she would help me. You know I’ve been interested in magic.” Willow explained to Buffy. The slayer smiled at Willow and Tara and then headed on, nearing her classroom. However, when she looked back, she saw Willow brushing hair away from Tara’s eyes, and wondered just how close the girls were.

The slayer continued on, stopped a few more times by annoying jocks, and the regular hallway traffic. The school had never seemed this crowded before. However, Buffy knew that time had never seemed to move more slowly before. It seemed like every second away from Spike was like ten million years. The slayer stood in front of the computer lab, her last class…finally there. However, when she walked inside the sight there shocked her. Giles stood, holding an old book, and stuttering as he spoke to Miss Jenny Calendar, the attractive, raven haired computer teacher, and, as Giles had just found out, Cyber Pagan. Though Buffy knew that she and Giles looked like they were just talking shop, the light in their eyes reflected more. Yup, it seemed like everyone was entering a relationship. Everyone but her.

It wasn’t that Buffy wanted a boyfriend, just for the sake of having one. No, the petite slayer wanted Spike. People enter relationships everyday, but Buffy was so hyperaware of people entering relationships today. It was like they were mocking her. Trying to show her how happy they were, how normal and simple their lives were.

“That’s it.” Buffy said, exiting the computer lab. “Last period be damned. I’m going to find Spike.” With that the slayer exited the building, zipping past Snyder, who watched her with hawk eyes as she left campus.







There I am in younger days, star gazing. Painting picture perfect amps of how my life and love would be. Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection, my compass faith in love’s perfection. I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen.

-Indigo Girls

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