Prologue:

At 7:35 AM EST, a platinum blonde man in skin tight black jeans, a black t-shirt, and black leather duster sits in seat 2B, awaiting take off of a transatlantic flight from London to New York, speaking harshly into his cell phone.

"Lorne, please tell me again what the hell I am doing cutting my vacation short with my ass on a flight to New York?"

Lorne tried to soothe him, "Come on Spike baby, you know Ethan would not have asked if there had been any other choice. Liam has gone and disappeared and there is a dead line to meet."

Spike was not so easily soothed, "Lorne how difficult could it be for one of the new recruits to interview the pop princess."

Getting aggravated now, Lorne continued, "Spike, Liz Giles is not a pop princess, she is about to become the very reluctant queen of rock and we need this cover before someone else grabs her. She is preparing to leave on a European tour to promote her band’s latest album and this will be the last opportunity to catch her before she is off. Slayer has the number one album in the country, they are a hot ticket and Liz Giles is intensely private. We are damned lucky to get this scoop. You have one week to get the behind the scenes scoop on her, so we can go to print next month."

Wondering why it was always him left holding the bag, "So what, I have to spend the next week 24/7 stalking the diva-to-be to get some unknown scoop that I am sure her attention starved self would be happy to spill over the phone?"

Lorne tried to be calm again, "That is the thing, she won’t spill. She is only agreeing to this because her management has convinced her it will be good for the band. She is quite the private girl and god only knows what she has been promised to give us this type of access."

Spike just kept getting louder, "Oh, so now I am supposed to be her personal shrink, sent to spy for Ethan’s rag. I thought Rayne was a better magazine than that."

Ok, trying for guilt now, "We are Spikeykins, but the readers want what they want and right now they want to know more about one Miss Liz Giles. Ethan says that he has called in a lot of favors for this? He is counting on you; you know that the magazine has been having some problems."

Giving up, "All right, all right dammit Lorne, where do I bloody find her."

'Thank God', Lorne was relieved, "Good boy! Her band, Slayer will be playing at The Crypt this evening. Liz is a long time friend of the owner. She is expecting you to meet her there."
 

A/N: Just so there is no confusion, Buffy/Liz are the same. I am using both names because Liz is the name that Buffy is using now. People who knew her in the past will still call her Buffy. The song in this chapter is called Control. It is by Puddle of Mudd who have a male lead singer, but I think a woman could easily pull it off. I see her voice as a cross between Amy Lee and Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 1 – Slayer

11:00PM – The Crypt
Spike showed his press pass and walked in the front door of The Crypt. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he could hear the last chords of a somewhat familiar song. Thunderous applause followed. As it died down, heavy guitar and drums started playing then a voice came over the microphone, drawing Spike’s eyes to the stage:

I love the way you look at me
I feel the pain you place inside
you lock me up inside your dirty cage
well I'm alone inside my mind
I like to teach you all the rules
I get to see them set in stone
I like it when you chain me to the bed
but then your secrets never show

Spike was stunned. On stage was the most compelling woman he had ever seen. She was stunning. Her long, honey blond hair was blown stick straight, flying about her face as she sang. Her eyes were rimmed in dark kohl, highlighting emerald green irises. Her face was pretty. That was the only word to describe it. She was not classically beautiful, but to Spike she looked like an angel and he was drawn to her. Liz was dressed in dark, hip-hugging jeans with black high-heeled boots a sheer black sleeveless blouse and black bra. There was a faint layer of perspiration on her face and arms. The long dead poet in Spike could only come up with one word…effulgent.

I need to feel you
you need to feel me
I can't control you
you're not the one for me
no
I can't control you
you can't control me
I need to feel you
so why's there even you and me

Spike felt his feet carry him closer to the stage as she stalked it. Her voice was strong, sultry, but seemed to carry a tinge of ..something he could not place, almost like pain. She would stop and sing into the microphone at the beginning of each verse and then let the beat take her away during the refrain. Swaying and thrusting her hips behind her guitar, her eyes closed in ecstasy. She was lost in the music and Spike was rapidly becoming lost in her. As if awakening from a dream, he started to pay attention to the words of the song:

I like the way you rake my skin
I feel the hate you place inside
I need to get your voice out of my head
'cause I'm that girl you'll never find
I think you know all of the rules
there's no expressions on your face
I hope that someday you will let me go
release me from my dirty cage

Buffy pranced around the stage, reveling in the performance. She loved intimate crowds such as this and wished all Slayers’ shows could be in small venues. As she moved back to the front of the stage, a shock of platinum blond hair caught her eye. On second glance, she noticed it belonged to the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Piercing eyes above cheekbones a model would kill for, full, pouty lips that just begged to be kissed. She could see that he was dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt that left little to the imagination about his lean build. His body looked like it would fit hers perfectly and OH MY GOD he was looking this way!!

‘Well dummy, of course he is, you are on stage, performing. Oh, I hope he’s not a groupie or gay, cause I could certainly see spending some quality time with him. Calm yourself,’ Buffy told herself, ‘He is probably a friend of Faith’s. Maybe I can get an introduction; cause man is he a hottie.’ It was amazing that Buffy was able to continue singing considering the jumble of thoughts swirling in her mind:

I need to feel you
you need to feel me
I can't control you
you're not the one for me
no
I can't control you
you can't control me
I need to feel you
so why's there even you and me

Just as Buffy started the next part of the song, the blue-eyed god locked eyes with her and she found herself unable to turn away:

I love the way you look at me
I love the way you smack my ass
I love the dirty things you do
I have control of you

I love the way you look at me
I love the way you smack my ass
I love the dirty things you do
I have control of you

I love the way you look at me
I love the way you smack my ass
I love the dirty things you do
I have control of you

I love the way you look at me
I love the way you smack my ass
I love the dirty things you do
I have control of you

Spike could not pull himself away. Nonsense babbled in his head, ‘Fuck, she is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. She is staring a hole through me. Look at those lips. Bloody hell, I will smack your ass or anything else you want done to it. I think I might loose it in my pants if she keeps looking at me like that. Stop staring at her, you look desperate, you look like a freaking stalker. Gotta pull yourself together mate, you are here to do a job, not get into her pants.’

Buffy was not fairing much better. ‘God, just looking at him is making me tingle all over, what the hell would touching him be like. Stop, stop staring-he’ll think that you’re a whore. Shit, does he think I want him to spank me? Do I? Am I channeling Faith? Need to get it together…show to do….need to break away.’

Both were able to break eye contact as Buffy sang the last chorus. Spike headed to the bar-he needed to calm his nerves and get his libido under control.

I need to feel you
you need to feel me
I can't control you
you're not the one for me
no
I can't control you
you can't control me
I need to feel you
so why's there even you and me
you and me
you’re not the one for me, no

As soon as the song ended, the audience exploded with screams and applause. Buffy had noticed the blond man walk away, so she made her way to the back of the stage and tried to cool herself off with her liter of water. At this point she did not think pouring it over her head would even work. ‘Man, I need to get laid. Maybe I can ditch that reporter and hook up with blondie. What is wrong with me, I sound sex starved. I sound like Faith.’
 

Chapter 2:

Buffy sat on a stool at the front of the stage. Next to her, Xander strummed the first few chords on his acoustic guitar as the applause continued, “This is the last song tonight,” she stated. “Boooo boooooo” came up from the audience. “Sorry guys, but we just flew in from California today and are beat.” She then turned to the right side of the stage and said, “We don’t usually do covers, but when Faith was with us, this was her favorite, so this is for you chickie.”

He eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back

As Liz was speaking Spike turned to see a voluptuous brunette off at the side of the stage in the direction that Liz had been turned. The brunette was clapping and whooping like crazy, then settled down to listen to the song. Spike followed her gaze and was once again drawn in by Liz….

Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice

As beautiful as he thought Liz had been strutting around to the fast songs, it was nothing compared to her, bathed in spotlight, singing a song that had meaning for her. Her skin and hair were luminous, her lips wrapped around the words so carefully and her voice was amazing, almost heart breaking.

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on angel’s hair and baby’s breath
Broken hymen of your highness I’m left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

As Spike listened to this final song of the evening, he pulled out a sheet of paper with some notes that he had jotted down about the band. For the first time, he looked up and noticed the other members; a young dark-haired man sat next to Liz on her left, playing an acoustic guitar. ‘That must be Alexander Harris (Xander), a childhood friend of Liz’s. He had dark eyes and resembled the girl, Faith? Oh yeah, that was because they were brother and sister. Faith had been the drummer in Slayer up until two years ago. Well, there might be some good stuff there,’ thought Spike. On Liz’s right, was a smaller man with shocking blue hair, singing back-up. He seemed very reserved for a musician, his face quite stoic. There was a bass guitar perched on the chair next to him. ‘That would be Daniel Osborne (Oz) another long time friend. Wonder if these friends have ever been any more than that to each other? They appear to have known each other quite a long time, they are guys and have had to have noticed how beautiful Liz is’, mused Spike. The drummer was in back, watching the trio up front, almost with a sense of hero worship. Spike thought he looked like he did not fit with the others, younger. He kind of looked like a science geek. ‘Andrew Jenkins, Harris’ girlfriend’s little brother, only been with the band since Faith left. What an inbred group we have here’ Spike thought, ‘that could be good and bad, they know a lot about each other, but are they willing to tell it to a stranger?’ As those thoughts left, Spike’s eyes were once again on Liz. He could feel how his heart rate increased just by looking at her and drifted into thoughts of running his fingers through her hair as she lay beneath him. He could feel his pants getting uncomfortably tight, but could not seem to get his thoughts under control.

Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice

As Buffy lost herself in the music, she again thought about how nice it would be to only play in small clubs like The Crypt. She missed the intimacy that the last year of playing in huge arenas had taken away. She missed stages where you could really connect with the audience, look into their eyes. Stages where the band felt like family again, where they felt like a group, not her and them. This year had been so hectic, being on the road constantly, living out of hotel rooms and to think she had three more months of it. Buffy consoled herself with the fact that once this tour was over, she would be able to go home and relax for a little while, maybe just be Buffy again and not “Liz Giles, Rock Star.”

‘Oh, who was she kidding, she could never be Buffy again, even though that is what most of her friends and family still called her.’ She knew that she wrapped the persona of Liz around herself like a protective layer, a barrier that allowed no one in. This self-protection had started with her dad leaving and continued with the not so long list of failed relationships, leaving behind a lonely woman who had lost the trusting little girl she once was. Only her long time friends were allowed to get close and even they were not privy to all.

That personal isolation along with the attention she was getting separate from the band was really causing a strain. ‘Just three more months and then we will have some time apart as a band to work on our relationships as friends again. Just three more months and then some of the madness can end,’ she prayed.

He eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back

Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey! wait!
I’ve got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice
Your advice
Your advice

Spike shook himself in his seat, trying to get back under control. He could not remember ever reacting to someone so quickly. He had not even spoken to the girl yet and all he could think about was what it would feel like to be completely surrounded by her. ‘Ah hell, she’s probably a self-absorbed diva just like you originally thought and just the fact that she is beautiful and has a soulful singing voice is drawing you in.’ Sure that that was the reason for his feelings, Spike decided it was time to get back to work. ‘He was there to complete an assignment and even though it was not his choice to do this story, he was not going to let his dick blow it. He had let that happen enough with Drusilla, let himself be led around like a dog on a leash. He knew of course that with Drusilla his heart had been ruling, fucking things up. He was never going to let it happen again. The site of Drusilla writhing in another man’s arms flashed before his eyes. He threw his drink back at that thought and vowed that he would not be “love’s bitch” ever again.’ Feeling his body calming down, his own man once more, Spike paid for the drink and made his way toward the stage.

 

Chapter 3:

Spike figured that the best way to get to Liz was to start by introducing himself to Faith. He would explain why he was there, show his press pass if necessary and try to work his way into Liz’s inner circle. He knew that seven days was not a lot of time to compile an article such as this, but maybe with some smooth talk, he could convince her to let him be her shadow. No matter what Lorne had said, Spike was sure she was a publicity whore, just like all performers.

The applause was still going as Faith looked up to see Spike approaching with his “come-hither” smile. She had noticed Buffy and the blonde hottie eyeing each other earlier and was pretty sure that he was looking for an introduction. ‘Well, good on B. Maybe she needs a little fling before she goes away for three months and from the looks of it, this guy knows his way around.’ As he reached her table, Faith stood, smirk firmly in place and said, “Somehow, I don’t think that I’m the lucky one that has brought you prowling this way.”

If possible, Spike’s smile got a little wider as he eyed her slowly from head to toe and back, “Who says, I’m prowling,” he chuckled as his tongue crept out to touch his bottom lip.

Faith’s eyes sparkled as she answered, “Call it an educated guess,” and as she presented her hand, “I’m Faith and just who might you be?”

Spike took her hand in his firm grip, brought it to his lips and said, “My friends call me Spike.”

“I’ll just bet they do,” she uttered as Faith disengaged herself. “So why don’t we skip the idle chit chat and you tell me just why I should introduce you to our lovely Ms. Giles?” At his disbelieving look, she motioned for him to sit down and continued, “Its pretty obvious by the way you were watching her earlier what is on your mind, so now you need to convince me of why I should do it.”

Surprised by her bluntness, Spike back peddled slightly, “I think you might have the wrong idea……”

***********************************************************************
As Buffy helped the guys pack up their stuff, she noticed the blonde from before talking to Faith. ‘I knew he would know Faith, all the hot guys do. Look at them smirking and laughing with each other. What was I thinking; he’s probably a male version of her, all about the chase. Maybe that is what I need, just a no strings short-term thing to tide me over until I can get off the road. He certainly looks like he has the qualifications to fill the job.’

As Buffy got caught up in her musings, Xander approached, “Hey Buffster, you staying out tonight or heading back to the hotel? Earth to Buffy, come in Buffy.”
“Huh what” Buffy muttered as she turned toward Xander. “Hey Xan, what was that you said.”

“I just asked if you were going back to the hotel now or staying out”, Xander repeated.

“Oh, sorry. I’m gonna head back to the hotel after I say bye to Faith,” she said turning back to look in Faith and Spike’s direction. “Do you know who that guy is she’s talking to?”

“Nope, never saw him before, but who knows with Faith,” he shrugged. “I am going over to Anya’s hotel, you can catch a cab with Oz and Andrew if you want, I think they are heading back.”

“Thanks Xan, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Smiling, she added, “Don’t let Anya wear you out, we have that early call tomorrow.”

“OK Buff, see ya later,” he said as he walked away.

************************************************************************
When Spike finished explaining the reason he was at The Crypt, Faith shook her head slightly and said, “I know that she is expecting to meet a reporter here, but I doubt she is expecting you. I don’t envy you trying to get this done, she is not too happy about it.”

“Why,” Spike inquired with a disbelieving look on his face, “most actors and singers are just dying for the attention. I can’t believe she would not want the publicity, plus she has already committed to it, so she really has no choice.”

Shaking her head, Faith warned, “Just a word of advice, B doesn’t like to be backed into corner, she has a tendency to come out swinging.”

Spike chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind. Why did you refer to her as B?”

“Hey B, we were just talking about you”, Faith said as she stood up.

Spike stood and turned around, coming face to face with Liz Giles. For a moment, it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. Liz and Spike gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity to Faith before both seemed to snap back to reality. Faith just smiled at the pair, knowing that this situation was about to get really interesting.

Faith stepped up to the couple, “Spike meet B, B meet Spike.” At that Spike stuck out his hand and introduced himself formally, “William Masters, but you can call me Spike.”

‘Oh, British, sexy voice.’ Buffy grasped his hand, looked into his eyes, smiled and said, “Elizabeth Giles, Liz. Are you a friend of Faith’s?”

“No, B actually you have been expecting him,” Faith spoke up.

At her confused look, Spike continued where Faith left off’ “I’m from Rayne magazine. I’ve come to stalk you for the next seven days.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Buffy stiffened, released his hand and her smile disappeared. Spike immediately felt the loss of her warmth.

Buffy spoke quickly, annoyed at his lack of real interest in her, “Oh, yes, I have been expecting you, but it has been a long day, so if we could start this tomorrow I would appreciate it.”

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, upset by her tone, “it’s been a long day for me too, so that would be fine.”

“First thing in the morning, at 9:00, I think, the band has a photo shoot in mid-town at this address,” she pulled a card from her back pocket and handed it to him, “so if you want to meet us there, I can introduce you to the rest of the band and you can figure out a schedule to talk to everyone.”

Feeling as if he was being dismissed, Spike said, “That is fine, I will meet you there. Are there any other people here in town, besides Faith, that have known you for a while that I could interview for the article?”

Confused, Buffy asked, “Why do you need to talk to more people that know me for an article about the band?”

Spike clarified, “I think you need to understand, I intend on talking to the rest of the band, but that is just mostly as background. This article is about you. My assignment is to do a cover story on you.”

“What the hell are you talking about!”? Buffy’s voice rose, “I never agreed to that. Rayne is supposed to be doing a cover story on Slayer. We have already shot the cover. You must have misunderstood.”

Spike was getting irritated, “Listen princess, there is no misunderstanding by me,” He bent down so that his face was level with hers, “You did agree to an all access interview or at least your people did, so I suggest you get on the phone to them and get it straightened out.”

Buffy got nose to nose with him then, “or what!”

Voice raised, Spike fired back, “Or, I will write the story based on interviews and my impressions of you here, which let me tell you Goldilocks, will not reflect you in the best light.”
Buffy was steaming, she spun around and whipped out her cell phone and muttered as she walked away, “Who the hell does he think he is? Big, stupid, British, jerk.”

Spike turned to Faith, “When little miss high and mighty is done with her tantrum, tell her, I will be at this studio first thing in the morning and she better be ready to talk.” With that he stormed out of the club, muttering to himself about short, blond divas.

Faith just smiled at the two blond’s backs, ‘this is gonna be one fun week. They are either going to kill each other or end up in bed together. Maybe both.’
 

Chapter 4:
Spike arrived at the midtown address Liz had given him at 10:00AM. He waited to show up, because he was not sure what kind of a reception he was going to get and wanted to make sure he was wide awake enough to deal. The building was a non-descript brownstone that made him wonder if he was in the wrong place. Once inside, he realized that the building had been remodeled to provide a multilevel entry with a reception desk. Spike walked up to the desk and told the receptionist what he was there for. She asked his name, indicated that he needed to show his proof of ID, compared what she found to a clip board, then told him with a bright smile that he could take the stairs to the 4th level, studio two.

Spike made his way up the four flights of stairs, cursing the lack of elevators along the way. He made his way down the hall to studio two, opened the door and stepped inside. The room was bright white with high ceilings and skylights. There were numerous people milling about, but no one that he recognized. He noticed some couches off to the side, where two young women sat looking bored. He figured they must be part of the band’s entourage.

The girls were both quite pretty. One looked very young, had long brown hair and large blue eyes, the other looked a little older. She had shorter, dark blond hair and a very animated look on her face.

As he approached, both women looked up at him, then turned to each other, said something, and giggled. Spike was somewhat taken aback and surreptitiously glanced down at himself to make sure that his fly was not open. Just then, the younger of the two women stood, presented her hand and said, “You must be that reporter from Rayne magazine, Spike is it?”

“Yes, but I would say you have me at a disadvantage,” answered Spike, “and you are?”

“Oh, sorry,” she blushed. I’m Dawn, the other Ms. Giles and this is Anya Jenkins, Andrew’s sister.

“Don’t forget Xander’s fiancé,” Anya piped up, putting out her hand to Spike.

“Nice to meet you both,” Spike greeted. “Where are the not so pleasant Ms. Giles and her band?”

“Oh, they are getting dressed and made up. These things always take forever. The boys hate it,” Anya stated. “Actually, I think Andrew kind of likes it, he would probably let them do his nails if they wanted to.”

“Well, while the band is busy with this, maybe I can talk with the two of you, get some background information on the band and your sister,” Spike suggested.

“OK, talk to Dawn first, I am going to go make sure that the hair and make-up women know that Xander is mine and that they will not be getting any orgasms from him,” Anya said as she walked away.

Spike coughed, “Is she always like that?”

Dawn smiled after Anya, “Yes, for as long as I have known her. You get used to it after a while.”

“So…”, they both started at the same time and laughed.

Dawn started again, “What is it that you would like to know about my sister?”

“Well, I am ashamed to say that I really do not know anything about your sister or her band. I was handed this assignment last minute, so what ever you can tell me would be helpful,” Spike said giving his best shy little boy look. “Just start from the beginning.”

Dawn thought for a moment and then spoke “Ok, well, lets see, ok Buffy and I grew up in California…”

Confused, Spike blurted out, “Sorry to interrupt, but Buffy?”

“Oh yeah, that is Liz’s childhood knick name,” Dawn explained. “I am five years younger and when I was little, I had trouble pronouncing Elizabeth, so mom found out that Buffy was a knick name for Elizabeth and so that is what I started calling her. Pretty soon, everyone called her that. She stopped using it after she got back from England four years ago.”

Again confused, Spike asked, “She was in England?”

‘Oh good one Dawn, just spill all of Buffy’s secrets to the press.’ Dawn recovered, “Yeah, for about a year, but that is something that if she wants you to know, she will tell.”

Spike started again, “Ok, so you grew up in California, what about your parents, do they still live there?”

“We were born in LA, but after our parents divorced, we moved to Sunnydale with our mom,” Dawn stopped to calculate in her head. “I was nine, so Buffy was 14. That is where she met Xander and the rest of the band.”

Digging further, Spike asked, “Your dad stayed in LA?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dawn frowned. “After the divorce, we never saw him much, he was always off with his latest conquest. I was younger and really close with my mom, but Buffy was always a daddy’s girl, so she really took it hard. At first he would promise trips to see us and then cancel last minute, but pretty quickly he just stopped promising. Neither of us has seen him in four or five years.”

Disturbed by the thoughts of a man abandoning his children, Spike continued, “What about your mom? Are you still close with her? Is your sister close with her now?”

“She was, we both were, but our mom died a couple of years ago,” Dawn visibly saddened. “She had a brain tumor that she was recovering from, the doctors had given her a clean bill of health, but then one day Buffy came home from class and found her on the sofa. They told her that there was nothing that she could have done, it was an aneurysm. Happens sometimes after brain surgery…that it happened quickly,” Dawn spoke quietly as tears formed in her eyes. “I do not know what Giles and I would have done without Buffy, she was our rock. She arranged all of the funeral, quit school, so that she could move back in and take care of us. She is so strong.”

“I am so sorry to make you relive this. I did not know,” Spike grasped her hand in his, upset for these girls, both left in the world without their parents. “Who is Giles?”

“Oh, it is ok. I just had not thought of all that for a while. Giles is our stepfather, actually adoptive father now. Mom and he married a few years after we moved to Sunnydale, then he adopted us when Buffy was 17 and I was 12,” Dawn explained. “I still live with him, except, I am starting UCLA, so now will be moving into the dorm.”

Just as she finished that explanation, there was noise from the back of the studio and out marched the band with Anya in tow. Spike noticed everyone looked a little uncomfortable, and then his eyes fell on Liz. Like the night before, her blond hair was blown straight, but fire engine red pieces had been painted in, along with a small braid here and there. Her eye make-up was dark, smoky black kohl rimming them. Her lips were glossy, kissable perfection. She was wearing a gauzy, off the shoulder white blouse, that looked as if it had been ripped at the waist and neck, so that it hung off her shoulders and bared her belly. To top if off she had on low-rise black leather pants, that zipped up the back, hugging her cheeks, making them look succulent. She looked rock star/heroine chic and decidedly disgruntled. Spike could feel his pants getting tighter, just staring at her, but he wasn’t sure if he was getting turned on by the show of skin or the pissed off look on her face.

As Spike stared at Liz, Dawn took a moment to observe him a little closer. Buffy had described him to a tee. He was gorgeous, no not gorgeous, beautiful. If not for the scar in his eyebrow and the swagger, he would look almost feminine in his beauty. No wonder Buffy had been so pissed off when she got back to the hotel last night. She had spotted this hottie and then found out he was only there to interview her, plus she had to spend the next seven days glued to him for said interview. Buffy had been muttering to herself about stupid management and that reporters should have to wear signs on their heads when she walked in the night before. Dawn had asked what her problem was and after Buffy explained about who Spike was and what he was there for Dawn had asked why she was so mad at him, he was just doing his job. That only seemed to piss Buffy off more. Now she realized why and if she was not mistaken, Spike was experiencing the same attraction to Buffy. She almost laughed out loud, ‘This is going to be an interesting week!’

As the photographer told Anya to get the hell away from him, Spike snapped out of his trance, “so, where were we Dawn?”

Dawn sniggered, “Well, I was telling you that I was about to start UCLA and you were ogling my sister.”

“No..no-not ogling,” Spike looked down and stammered.

“Oh come on,” Dawn barreled on, “it is pretty obvious, but let me tell you riling her up like you did last night is no way to win her over. You know she’s not involved with anyone.”

“She isn’t?” He looked up, “No, no you have it all wrong, I am just here to do this story.”

“Sure you are,” Dawn said with a wise-ass look on her face. “Don’t worry, you are not the first guy I have seen go all mute around my sister. There is something about her that guys are really drawn to. It has been that way since she was 15.”

“So, she must have left a lot of broken hearts along the way,” Spike hinted looking slightly insecure.

Almost too quietly for him to hear, she said, “No, sadly the few times that she has let someone in, she is the one that ended up getting hurt.”

At his incredulous look, she continued, “Buffy does not have the best luck in love. Her last relationship ended badly and the worst part was that every aspect of their relationship, from getting together to breaking up was documented in the press.”

Well, that explained her attitude change towards him last night when she found out who he was. “Was he famous too?” he asked.

“Yes, although when she started dating him, he was not.” Dawn blabbed, “I think his relationship with her is what got him on the charts. His name is Riley Finn and he started out with some kind of boy band thing, but is now doing the bubble gum stuff on his own. I could not stand him. He was just so corn fed and boring, I don’t see how she stood him as long as she did, but my sister is way stubborn. She tried really hard to make it work, but in the end, they just were completely wrong for each other.”

Just then Anya came back to join them and whispered something to Dawn. Dawn got a troubled look on her face and immediately looked towards the group. They had stopped taking photos and were talking, heatedly. Spike could not hear what they were saying, but Xander seemed really upset with Liz trying to placate him. As Spike looked at her with her back to him, his eyes traveled down her body to rest on her butt. It looked bitable clad in black leather with that zipper running up the middle. He then noticed her shirt was riding high and that there was something on her lower back. He squinted a little to make out a tattoo of what looked to be a pair of dragonflies. ‘Oh God, that is so sexy’ Spike thought. His fingers itched to touch those insects, and then of course his mind wandered to whether she had other tattoos and where they might be.

He was broken from his reverie, by the ever-increasing volume of voices from the group. “Xander, please don’t be upset,” Buffy was pleading, “I did not mean for this to happen.”

Xander threw up his hands and yelled, “Buffy, I know it’s not your fault, but I just can’t take this today. Finish the shoot, I will see you tomorrow at the recording studio.” He grabbed Anya and stalked out the door.

The photographer then spoke up, “Everyone take 15 minutes.”

Oz and Andrew spoke to Liz for a couple of minutes and then left as well. As they walked away, Liz looked down at her feet and sighed heavily. She then lifted her head in Spike’s direction. She seemed startled to see him there and immediately spun on her heel and headed back to the dressing room area.

“Come on, lets go back and see how she is doing,” Dawn said as she pulled him towards the room.

As they walked in Liz was sitting in a chair with her head in her hands. At the sound of the door shutting she looked up. There were tears running down her face and Dawn bent to wrap her in a hug.

“Oh Buffy, what happened?” Dawn cooed.

Liz looked up to respond and noticed Spike standing there looking very uncomfortable, “What is he doing here? You know he is just loving this just like all of those blood sucking tabloid reporters when Riley and I….”

“Stop it Buffy, he’s not like that, just give him a chance,” Dawn admonished. “Now what happened with Xander?”

Liz wiped at her eyes and spoke quietly, “Well, after we did the shots with everyone, the photographer said he wanted a wardrobe change and told the guys they would not be needed. He just dismissed them. With everything else that’s been happening, it was the last straw for Xander, he blew, I tried to tell him I did not know, but I don’t think he believed me. I don’t want all of this Dawnie, I don’t want all of this outside attention, but it is all spiraling out of control.”

Dawn soothed, “Buffy, Xander will be ok. You know he just has to go blow off steam and then he will be fine. He has been your best friend for ten years. He will not let this tension come between you guys.”

Liz smiled, “When did you get so smart?”

“While you were off traipsing around the country,” Dawn smiled back. “Now, don’t you think you owe Spike an apology?”

Buffy walked up to him, “I’m sorry for being such a bitch. I did not mean the blood sucking comment, I’ve just been really stressed lately and you were convenient to lash out at. Again, I’m sorry.” Buffy stuck out her hand and graced him with a watery smile, “Truce.”

Spike was completely shocked by the apology, “Apology accepted, truce.” He took her hand tilted his head to the side and gave her a genuine smile.

As soon as they touched, it was like a bolt of electricity through both of their bodies, causing them to look at their joined hands and then back up to each other before parting.

Dawn spoke up, breaking the spell, “Ok, you get changed for the next part of the shoot and I will continue putting my two cents in about you to Spike. Oh, and I told Giles we would meet him for lunch. You can come too if you want, Spike.”

Spike cleared his throat from the lump that had formed, “Actually, I have some other people I need to talk to today, but if you two do not have plans maybe I could buy you dinner? Whatever you want.”

At that Buffy’s eyes lit up, “Could we have sushi?”. Buffy shot Dawn a look as she started to speak, effectively cutting her off.

Spike looked between the two confused, but answered, “Sure, I like sushi.”

At the delighted look on Buffy’s face, Spike smiled. When she walked away, Spike looked to Dawn, “What?”

“I hope you have a healthy bank account,” she laughed.

Spike’s confusion grew, “What are you talking about? Are you telling me that taking the two of you out for raw fish is going to break me?”

“No, not me, Buffy. She can really put away some food, particularly food she really likes and let me tell you, she loves sushi,” Dawn was really laughing now.

Spike was incredulous, “That little thing, she can’t weigh more than a hundred pounds, soaking wet.”

Dawn warned, “Wait and see, but I hope your credit cards are paid up.”

Dawn and Spike continued to talk while Buffy changed and her solo photos were taken. Spike was able to keep most of his concentration on Dawn, but every now and then, he would catch a glimpse of swirling blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. The second outfit was less leather, but not any less distracting. When Buffy emerged from the back in a black tank top, a micro-mini, plaid, Catholic school-girl skirt, black fishnet hose, and black combat boots, he thought he was going to swallow his tongue. He quickly shifted his gaze, but not before, he moved the pad he was writing on to cover the raging hard on he was sporting. ‘This is going to be a long week filled with many cold showers,’ he thought.
 

Chapter 5:


Later that day….

It had been a lovely afternoon with Dawn. They had met Giles for lunch, although hot dogs were not exactly his first choice, he had been so excited about seeing an old friend, Olivia, that he soon forgot exactly what it was he was eating.

Buffy and Dawn were excited to see him with a smile again and were only too glad to let he and his old friend go off to enjoy stuffy museums while they went shopping. It had been so long since they had had any sister time, and clothes shopping was just what the doctor ordered. They giggled as they discussed the hustle and bustle of the New Yorkers around them along with playing the “he is too beautiful to be straight” game, which of course brought up Spike.

Dawn assured Buffy that Spike was straight and more than a little affected by her presence. She also hinted that she should watch what she wore to dinner for fear that he would choke himself to death on a piece of sushi.

All in all they had a wonderful afternoon and loaded down with many bags they returned to the hotel. Buffy and Dawn went their separate ways at the elevator, Buffy needing to shower and get the red wash out of her hair before dinner tonight. Dawn needed to send some emails and promised Buffy she would come to her room before Spike was due to arrive.

Buffy went to her room, threw her bags on the bed and left a trail of clothes to the bathroom. She climbed under the warm spray of the shower and really felt herself relax for the first time in a while. She knew that Dawn was right; Xander would come around with no permanent damage to their friendship. So many changes were about to happen, they were finishing the tour, Xander was getting married, Dawn was going to college, everyone was living their lives, but where did that leave her? No, she was not going there, no feeling left behind, she was happy for them, and when this tour was over, she was going to look into getting one of those life things for herself. As her hands worked the soap over her body, she could not help but think that that life definitely needed to include a steady boyfriend. Shaking from the desire building in her just from the soap in her own hand, she shook from her thoughts and immediately finished rinsing her hair and body. Grateful for the perks that celebrity sometimes afforded, Buffy wrapped her hair and body in towels warmed by the hotel’s electric warming towel bars. She moved her bags and sat on the side of the bed to comb through her wet hair. Yawning, Buffy looked at the bedside clock and decided she had time to lie down for a few minutes before getting ready for dinner.

************************************************************************
Later still….

Buffy slowly awoke to a dark room. Startled, she realized two things, one, that she had been asleep too long and two, that she was not alone. Spike stood in the bedroom doorway, the light from the living room of the suite framing his body. Buffy was stunned; he looked like an angel with the light behind him. As she moved to sit up, the towel pulled loose and pooled around her waist. As her breasts were revealed, Spike sucked in a sharp breath. His eyes were raking her body and she could feel herself flushing. Buffy started to pull the towel up and Spike took a step towards her as one word desperately flew from his lips, “Don’t.”

Buffy’s eyes shot to his, he was still walking towards her and she was lost in those fathomless baby blues. Just then he reached the bed, grasped her shoulders and pulled her unresisting body to his. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, Spikes hands moved from her shoulders to either side of her face, deepening the kiss. Buffy pulled her lips away to get some much needed oxygen as his hands went back to her shoulders as his now free lips went to her throat.

“God Spike, God, I want you,” Buffy gasped. “want you so much!”

“Buffy, Buffy….”


“Buffy, Buffy, come on Buffy wake up. You need to get dressed,” Dawn yelled from her position at the end of the bed.

“What, huh?” Buffy slowly woke, ‘Oh God, only a dream.’

“Buffy-yyy,” Dawn was whining now. “It is six o’clock, if you don’t get up now and finish getting ready…” they both heard a knock at the door, “Spike is here already, get dressed.” With that, Dawn huffed out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Buffy could hear muffled voices in the other room as she ran to her suitcase and pulled out underwear, jeans, and a top. As she pulled on her bra and panties she realized that she was still feeling the effects of the dream.

‘Great, now I have to go out and face him, when I all I really want to do is cuddle up to the hand held shower massager.’ After pulling on the rest of her clothes, she quickly dried and brushed her hair, threw on some moisturizer and lip-gloss and opened the bedroom door.

As Buffy emerged from her room, she saw that Spike and Dawn were standing by the magnificent view her suite offered taking in the sunset. They both turned her way and as Buffy met Spike’s eyes a blush broke out on her face and neck, “Sorry I’m late, I kinda fell asleep.”

Spike stepped towards her, confused by her blush, “That’s alright luv, you had a rough day.” ‘God, look at her, she’s just beautiful. Why does anyone ever make her up, she doesn’t need it.’

“Well, ready to go?” Dawn piped up. Two blonde heads shook yes in her direction and they were off.

***********************************************************************
9:00PM

All three were quiet in the cab from the restaurant to the hotel. Buffy was contemplating what she had learned about Spike during dinner:

He was 30, divorced, and lived here in New York. His father was dead, but his mother still lived in England. She was the person he was visiting when he was pulled for this assignment. He had started freelancing for Rayne magazine four years ago as a favor to a friend. He also did some freelance work for other magazines as well as dealt with “bleedin’ writer’s block” over a novel he had been trying to finish. Before the freelancing, he was a print reporter in London, assigned to the Middle East. While he and Dawn watched Buffy eat piece after piece of sushi, he had told them a few stories about some harrowing experiences he had had.

It sounded like it had been an exciting life and she wondered why he had given it up.

************************************************************************
Sitting next to Dawn, Spike was lost in thought about the elusive elder Ms. Giles. She had been very relaxed during dinner. Obviously, considering the amount of food she put away. Even joking when he asked where she put it all, saying she was going to throw it all up in a minute. Aside from the banter and a little information about the band’s tour, he had learned nothing else from her, outside of the peripheral information he had already learned from Dawn. He was just going to have to be more diligent.

************************************************************************
Dawn was smiling to herself about the two people on either side of her. They were perfect for each other. She knew they both had an attraction for the other, but she thought it could go deeper than that. Spike was so much better for Buffy than Riley, perfect brother material as far as she was concerned and woo-hoo, big time H.O.T. Maybe she could give them both a little push.

************************************************************************
The cab arrived at the hotel. Buffy and Dawn hopped out. “Hey Spike why don’t you come up, it is still early,” Dawn invited.

Spike looked to Buffy, “Is that ok with you pet?”

“Sure, we don’t have to be at the studio until 11 tomorrow,” she answered.

Spike paid the cabbie and followed the two girls into the hotel. As the doors of the elevator closed, Buffy turned to him, “So Spike, why the little names?”

“What do you mean?” he said.

“You know, luv, pet, princess,” she smiled up at him and batted her eyelashes, “can’t you remember my name?”

He smirked at her, “I could never forget your name.” Then getting a shy look on his face, “It has just been hard to keep Buffy from coming out of my mouth and I know that you prefer Liz now.”

She smiled, “Well since almost everyone you will be around for this week is going to call me Buffy, I guess you can too.”

“Ok, Buffy,” he whispered, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

At that moment, the elevator came to a stop at their floor and the doors opened. All three occupants emerged from the elevator to run into Xander walking down the corridor.

“Hey Xan,” Buffy ventured.

“Hey Buffy,” Xander greeted, looking slightly ashamed.

“Were you looking for me?” Buffy smiled.

“Yeah, I wanted to apologize for my outburst today,” he said, looking down at his feet. “I know it wasn’t you before. I know it wasn’t your fault.”

Buffy threw her arms around him and hugged him whispering, “I know Xan, I’m sorry too.”

“Why don’t we go inside,” she invited.

After the introduction had been made between Xander and Spike, they all went inside Buffy’s room.

“What you got in the bag Xan?” questioned Dawn.

Xander blushed, “Actually it is part peace offering and part bribe.” He handed the bag to Buffy.

Buffy squealed, “Oh, yummy Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Caramel Fudge, my favorite.”

Spike chuckled, “You surely are not still hungry?”

“See, told you,” Dawn joined in.

Pouting out her lower lip, “Well, actually Mr. Smarty-pants, I am kind of full right now, so I am going to put it in the freezer for later, so I can eat it in peace. Why did you need a bribe?” she directed to Xander.

“Well I’m nervous about tomorrow and I was hoping we could do a quick run through tonight,” he gave her a pleading look.

“Sure Xan,” turning to Spike and Dawn, “you guys don’t mind do you? I’ll just get my guitar.”

Xander explained to Spike, “We are recording a duet of one of Buffy’s songs tomorrow, it is going to be on a soundtrack for some super hero movie. We have been doing the song in concert for a while, but it is always just Buffy and her guitar. The producers wanted a duet with an orchestra, so Buffy agreed on the condition that I sang the duet with her. Tomorrow will be the first time I have ever sung anything other than back-up….”

“And you will do fine,” Buffy came back with her guitar and sat on a bench, patting the chair next to her. Xander took the chair, while Spike and Dawn sat on the sofa. “Ready,” she said.

“Ready,” Xander replied as Buffy started to play.

Xander: I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain


Together : 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
and I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
and I don't feel light when you're gone away

You’ve gone away, you don’t feel me anymore

Buffy: The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold u high and steal my pain
there's so much left to learn & no one left to fight
I wanna hold u high & steal your pain


Together: 'Cause I’m broken when I’m open
and I don’t feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
and I don’t feel right when you're gone away


Dawn got up from the sofa and Spike followed her. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Dawn replied wistfully, “it’s just hard hearing that song sometimes.”

“Why?”

“Buffy started writing it when our mom was sick and then finished it after she died,” Dawn explained. “Sometimes I think she is very lucky being able to express all of her feelings in song, to create something so beautiful out of such misery. You know that is what she does, every feeling she can’t or won’t say in words, she says in her music. I wonder if it is cathartic for her.”

Spike turned to gaze once again at this intriguing woman. He was surprised by Dawn’s revelation. Maybe this was the key to figuring Buffy out.


'Cause I’m broken
when I’m open
and I don’t feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
and I don’t feel light when you're gone away


'Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
and I don’t feel light when you're gone away

Gone away you don’t feel me anymore

************************************************************************
10:30PM…

Xander had left to go back to Anya about half an hour before. Dawn deciding to force Buffy and Spike to be alone together, made an excuse to leave as well.

They had been sitting together on the sofa talking about the schedule tomorrow.

“So, I guess I should be heading out,” Spike started.

“Yeah, I should be getting to bed,” Buffy rose from the couch. “Thanks again for dinner, I had a really nice time, kind of forgot that you just were not part of the gang.”

“So did I,” he replied. “Buffy, I really do not want to push you into telling me anything you are not comfortable with. I do respect your privacy. I’m not sure about what happened with the press and your last relationship, but I have a good idea and I want to assure you that I am not like that, I won’t hurt you.”

Buffy was surprised by his outburst, “I will try to open up a little more. I have committed to do this and I won’t let you down.”

Spike gave her a big smile, “I will see you at the studio then.”
Buffy opened the door and Spike stepped into the hallway, said good night and started walking away.

“Spike, wait,” Buffy called after him. “If you want to, you could come and have breakfast with us in the morning?”

She did not think his smile could get any brighter, “I would love to Buffy. What time?”

“'Bout 9?” she replied.

“9 sounds perfect. Sweet dreams luv,” he said backing down the hall.

Buffy closed the door and leaned heavily against it, “Oh yeah, I’m sure they will be sweet,” she said aloud as she walked to the bedroom.


 

Chapter 6:

Spike and Buffy separately had very restful night sleeps. Both woke feeling refreshed and ready to greet the new day. Dawn even commented on what a great mood Buffy was in. Buffy, of course said that she was looking forward to the recording session, not seeing Spike. Dawn was surprised that her sister had invited him to join the two of them and Giles for breakfast. She also thought it was a good sign that maybe Buffy would give Spike a chance.

Spike arrived at 9:00 AM and knocked on Buffy’s door. An older man he did not recognize answered the door. “You must be William Masters,” said the man as he stepped aside, “Buffy’s been expecting you. Do come in.”

Spike walked into the suite and turned back to look at the man.

“Oh, forgive me, where are my manners? I am Rupert Giles, Buffy’s stepfather,” Giles extended his hand.

Spike took the offered hand, “Nice to meet you mate.” ‘Interesting, English, very button down, not what I would expect as the step father of a rock star.’

Just then, a loud crash was heard from the bedroom, followed by a bellowed, “DAWN!”

“The girls are just finishing getting ready,” Giles shook his head towards the closed door. “Would you like some tea?”

Suddenly, the bedroom door flew open, “No, they’re mine, you don’t need them,” Buffy was shouting at Dawn as they made their way out into the living room.

“Yes I do, they’ll be perfect for school this fall,” Dawn was yelling back.

“Which means they will be perfect for me to wear in Europe,” Buffy barreled ahead. “End of negotiation, umph…” Buffy was so lost in her argument with Dawn that she ran right into Spike, nearly knocking them both to the ground.

Spike caught her arms and attempted to steady them both, “Hello luv.”

“Oh, sorry Spike,” Buffy blushed, “I didn’t know you were here yet.”

Spike was smiling down at her and still holding onto her arms when Giles cleared his throat. “Are you two ready for breakfast?” Giles asked.

“Yes, yes we are,” Buffy answered as she pulled away from Spike.

***********************************************************************
Breakfast was relaxed. Giles and Spike talked about growing up in England, the British music scene and adjusting to life in the States. Everyone was surprised to learn a little of Giles’ youth and his “Ripper” days while also getting a hint of Spike’s “William” days. Buffy and Dawn continued to bicker about clothes and everyone enjoyed a leasurely meal. Soon enough, it was time for Giles and Dawn to finish packing to head to the airport. Handshakes and hugs were shared all around as well as a couple of words of friendly advice for Spike…..

“I am not Buffy’s biological father, but she is my daughter. I expect that you will do right by her with this article,” Giles spoke with a hint of Ripper in his eyes.

Dawn gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Don’t mess this up William.”

Spike was started to get a little annoyed, “Why does everyone think I’m a hack journalist?”

“I wasn’t talking about the article,” and she was off.

************************************************************************
The limo ride to the studio was quiet. Buffy was already missing having Dawn and Giles around. The other members of the band had lives that they were tied up with; Xander had his wedding to Anya coming up, so she was dragging him all over the city to help pick out the registry, Oz’s wife Willow had timed her vacation from work to spend some time with him. She really wanted to get pregnant before the tour in Europe, so she would be through the first trimester before he came home. They were now holed up in a bed and breakfast having marathon sex and Andrew was, well God knows what Andrew was doing, but he was busy as well, which left her all alone…alone with Spike. She had dreamed about him again last night, only to wake up frustrated before anything good happened. If the dreams kept up she was going to have to buy a “personal massager.”

************************************************************************
Spike was busy trying to figure out the situation he seemed to be getting himself into. After he and Dru divorced, he decided that relationships were not for him that he was better off making sure he only dated women that he could have a superficial and sexual relationship with. It had been working out all right for the last two years, until Dru started becoming one of his superficial dates. It had happened a few months before when they had both found themselves at an event without dates. He had worked very hard to not let the old feelings back in, but lately she was pushing for more of a relationship, saying that she knew what a mistake she had made and that she wanted him back. He just wasn’t sure if he was that man anymore, if those feelings were still there. And now there was Buffy. Spike kept telling himself that this was an assignment, to keep it professional, but slowly she was worming her way in, even though he did not think she was trying to, maybe in spite of. She was beautiful, smart, and wrote amazing heart felt songs that spoke of love and loss. This alone sparked his inner poet. At worst, maybe he had made a friend, at best, who knows.

Both were brought out of their thoughts by the limo coming to a stop. Buffy thanked the driver and she and Spike exited the car and entered the recording studio. Xander was there waiting for them, looking apprehensive.

“Hey Xan,” Buffy said walking up to him.

“Hey Buffy, Spike,” Xander was looking more nervous by the moment.

Buffy noticed, “Listen, I know you’re nervous, but you have no reason to be, you sounded great last night, isn’t that right Spike?”

“Yeah, fine mate,” Spike tried to reassure him.

“See,” Buffy agreed giving him a half hug.

Just then a tall, thin brunette entered the sound booth. Buffy’s face fell, “What is he doing here?”

“That is what I was trying to tell you, Parker Abrams is the producer for the soundtrack,” Xander was almost panicked.

Buffy’s mood darkened, “Great, just fucking great.”

 

Chapter 7:

****************************************************************************************
Spike looked at Buffy’s clenched jaw, “What’s the matter?”

Xander and Buffy both ignored the question, “I’m so sorry Buffy, I didn’t know he was involved in this. I would have warned you.”

Still confused, Spike tried again, “I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

The memories of Buffy’s first month of college flashed in front of her eyes.

7 years earlier….

“My frat is having a party Saturday night. All the guys will be so jealous when I show up with the prettiest girl.”

“Parker, I don’t feel well. I think I need to lie down.”

‘Oh God, where am I? Whose bed is this? Why don’t I have any clothes on?’ “Baby, you’re awake.” ‘Oh God, what did I do?’

“I don’t understand Parker. I thought you wanted to be with me, did I do something wrong?” “It was fun.” “Is that all it was?”

Spike was getting worried, “Harris maybe you should get her a glass of water or something.” Buffy seemed a million miles away, “Buffy, luv, are you ok?”

Suddenly Buffy was thrust back to the present. Spike was holding her by the upper arms, looking very intently at her.

“Spike?” she whispered.

Loosening his grip on her arms, “Luv, are you ok?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” she muttered, no looking him in the eye. “We need to get on with this recording session.”

Still worried, “Buffy, tell me what’s going on. Why has seeing this bloke upset you so?”

Buffy tried her best to avoid the truth, “Its nothing. He’s just someone I knew from college.”

Not sounding in the least convinced, “Funny, I don’t go all catatonic when I see someone from school.”

“Listen, he’s coming this way,” she sighed with irritation and then added, “I’ll tell you about it later.”

Parker approached, “Well, Liz it’s been a long time.”

‘Not long enough,’ she thought. “Parker, I didn’t know you were the producer on this soundtrack.”

“How could I miss the chance to see you again,” innuendo dripping from his words.

Spike cleared his throat.

“And you are?” Parker looked down his nose at Spike.

Not offering his hand, “William Masters.”

“He’s with me,” Buffy quickly added.

Still staring at Spike, “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

Just as Buffy started to correct him, Spike put his arm around her and piped in, “We’ve only been together a short while, trying to keep it out of the press.”

Buffy just stared at him with her mouth open.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find any water, so I brought you a coke,” Xander handed Buffy her drink. “What’d I miss?”

“I was just meeting Liz’s new boyfriend,” Parker sneered.

At the withering look from Spike, Xander knew to just go with it.

“Are you ready to get started?” Xander asked.

“Yes,” as she pulled Spike towards the door. “Xander you go ahead, I need to talk to Spike for a second and I will be right in.”

As Parker and Xander walked away, Buffy glared at Spike, “What the hell was that back there?”

“Listen, you seemed really uncomfortable around him, so I thought he would be less likely to bother you if he thought we were together,” Spike explained. “Plus, I don’t like him much.”

Buffy tried to be mad, but she could not help a slight smile, “OK, but this goes no further than today. What if the tabloids get onto this? Aren’t you worried you could piss off your girlfriend.”

Spike smiled, “What girlfriend?”

“Oh, I just assumed,” Buffy smiled back.

Spike stepped towards her, “No girlfriend to piss off luv.”

Buffy backed away, “Well, alright then, uhm I better get to work.”

“Buffy,” Spike stepped forward again.

Getting lost in those eyes, “Yeah?”

He tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear, “Promise me we will talk about this later.”

Smiling, “Don’t worry, you’ll get your story.”

“No luv,” he shook his head, “I just think you need to talk about it.”

************************************************************************
After a few run throughs, the recording of the duet went off without a hitch and soon Xander was finished with his part and joined Spike in the outer office. They could still see and hear everything, but could talk without disturbing the others.

Spike started, “I was hoping I could talk to you for a bit about Buffy.”

“For the article?” Xander inquired.

“Yeah, the article,” Spike tried to convince himself and Xander.

“What do you want to know?” Xander started, and then added, “If it is about Parker, I don’t know anything, just that he hurt her in college.”

“No its not about him, she said she would tell me about that later,” Spike offered.

Xander looked surprised. “Buffy is usually not so quick to share, mostly she writes songs to get things out.”

Spike contemplated that statement and then forged ahead, “You grew up together, right?”

“Sort of, Buffy, Dawn and their mom moved to Sunnydale during high school,” Xander began. “Willow and I were close friends. Oh, she is Oz’s wife. Willow and I had been friends since childhood, so when Buffy came to school, Willow was asked to show her around, they became friends, so we became friends.”

“You’re a year older than Buffy,” Spike prodded.

“Yeah, she is actually my sister Faith’s age,” Xander confirmed.

Spike tried to get him to open up, “Were they always close?”

Xander sighed, “Faith and Buffy had a rocky relationship over the years. There was some jealousy on both parts, but they are closer now. Faith was messed up for a long time, but now she’s in a stable relationship, owns a business and for the first time in her life, seems comfortable in her own skin.”

Spike thought that sounded normal for two such beautiful girls and then moved on, “Did you and Buffy ever date.”

With a smile, “God, don’t I wish.” At Spike’s raised eyebrow, he continued. “When we were in school I had a major crush on Buffy, everyone including her knew about it, but she did not see me that way.”

Surprised at his honesty, Spike continued, “It is amazing you were able to stay friends.”

“Oh, I wasn’t the only one,” Xander seemed lost in memories now. “They all had it bad for the Buffinater, but she only had eyes for Angel.”

Spike’s ears pricked up, “Who’s Angel?”

Xander seemed to pale in front of his eyes, “Oh, uhh listen, I’ve got to meet Anya. I’m gonna just say bye to Buffy,” with that he rushed into the sound booth.

Spike followed wondering why the mention of Buffy’s high school crush had set him off. Maybe this would be a good time to go pick up Slayer’s cd.

As they closed the door to the sound booth, Buffy started to play the piano:

I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

Again, Spike was mesmerized. She looked so beautiful, so at home, playing the piano and singing. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Xander and Parker noticed. Xander smiled, Parker looked like he was going to be ill.

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

Her voice sounded so desperate. If Dawn and Xander were right that Buffy expressed her feelings in song, maybe a way to know her was through her songs. Spike could not help but wonder how someone so young could write such songs of pain.

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

Buffy looked up to see Spike staring through the glass at her. He had an odd look on his face. One that she thought looked almost like longing.

Xander’s voice came over the mike, “Hey Buff, I’m heading out, more wedding crap to do,” Xander waved.

“Ok Xan, see you soon,” she replied, not taking her eyes from Spike.

Spike was still lost in thought when Xander leaned in his ear, “Buffinater strikes again. See ya man.”

Spike leaned over to the mike, “I’m gonna run out for a smoke. I’ll be right back.”

Buffy nodded, looking a little nervous from Parker to Spike.

As Spike opened the door, he heard Parker’s whisper, “Alone at last.” He wasn’t sure if it was that or Buffy’s look, but the next think he knew, he was beside Buffy and pulling her into a fierce embrace, all the while giving Parker a look that spoke of death should he come near his girl.

 

Chapter 8:

******************************************************************************************
Later that evening in Buffy’s hotel suite…

Working up her courage, Buffy asks, “What was that all about at the studio today? First you say that you’re going out to smoke and the next thing I know, you’re hugging me.”

‘Knew she had been quiet too long,’ Spike did not meet her eyes. “You seemed sad after the song, just thought you needed it ‘s all.”

“I kinda did,” she caught his eyes and smiled, “Thanks.”

‘Might as well forge ahead,’ he thought. “I also thought you seemed uncomfortable being left alone with that wanker of a producer. What is the deal with you and him?”

She tried to blow it off, “He is just one of the examples of why Buffy and relationships are unmixy.”

He would not let her, “No, it was more than that. You were right pissed at first, but at the prospect of being alone with him,” he took her hands and looked straight into her eyes, “you looked frightened.”

Knowing that she could not put it off anymore, she pulled him to sit with her on the sofa “I met Parker my first day at UC Sunnydale. I had been away from home for about a year and was nervous about coming back. I started classes in the spring, so there was no one I knew with me during orientation and I hated my roommate Cathy. It was a hard time for me. I was feeling really insecure about myself and about my place with my friends and family. Parker seemed nice, he seemed to listen, seemed like he understood.”

“But,” he prodded.

“But, he was a liar,” she moved off of the sofa to pace the room, “and I was stupid.” Spike moved to get off the sofa and she waived him back down. “We had been out a few times, not dates, just out for coffee or hanging out on the quad when he asked me to go with him to a party that his frat was having. I was reluctant, but he said all the right things and flattered me endlessly, so I went. It was really crowded when we got there, so many people that I didn’t know. I just wanted to feel comfortable, so I had a couple of drinks.”

Buffy looked like she was a million miles away and Spike started to frown, afraid of where this story was heading. “All of a sudden, I started to feel really dizzy. I told him I was not feeling well and he said we could go somewhere quiet where I could lie down. That’s the last thing I remember until I woke up in his bed the next morning.”

Spike was clenching and unclenching his fists now and his mouth was closed so tightly that his teeth were grinding. “I asked him what had happened and he seemed shocked that I couldn’t remember, said that we had shared something beautiful.” Tears were slowly running down her cheeks now, “I wanted it to be true, I wanted him to be telling the truth, so I went along with it. I pretended that everything was ok and I started to date him. We went out a few times more and then he stopped calling. I spotted him outside my dorm one day, hitting on another girl. I asked him what was wrong, asked him what I did wrong…”

Spike couldn’t take any more, he grasped her hand and pulled her into his lap, rocking her and cooing in her ear, “Its ok Buffy. It wasn’t your fault,” and just let her cry.

After her sobs had quieted, Spike whispered, “I could kill him if you want.” Buffy laughed and he just knew that he wanted to hear her do that more often.

************************************************************************
After Buffy had washed her face and cleaned up Spike’s shirt, she ordered hot chocolate for them from room service and they continued to talk.

Trying to find a more light hearted subject, he started, “So, tell me something that people would find surprising about you.”

Buffy looked confused, “What people, you mean like my fans?”

“Yeah,” he answered.

She thought about it for a moment and then answered, “When my parents’ marriage was self-destructing, I became obsessed with figure skating. Begged my mom to buy me books and videos on how to do the proper moves, spent countless hours on the ice. Thought I would be the next Dorothy Hammel, make my parents so proud. I even had the haircut.” She was smiling in remembrance. “When I was skating, gliding on the ice, it was almost like flying, I felt free. Free from the arguments at home, free from the guilt.”

“Guilt?” now Spike looked confused.

“I got it into my head that it was my job to save my parents’ marriage, that if I was the perfect daughter, maybe they would not fight so much. Once the divorce was final and mom moved us to Sunnydale, the skating stopped,” she sighed. “We didn’t have the money to indulge that fantasy any more.”

He looked at her with soft, caring eyes, “You’re the hero.”

Confused again, “The what?”

“In families, where there’s dysfunction, sometimes people take on roles,” he explained. “One of the roles is hero. They are the ones who feel responsible for everyone else and try to save them, make their lives work.”

Uncomfortable with this title, she balked, “And how do you know this Mr. Psych 101?”

“Lets just say, I have my own experiences with dysfunction,” he replied.

Wanting to get off this subject, “Ok, but now its your turn on the hot seat. What’s something people would find surprising about you?”

Now he looked sheepish, “I have been known to write poetry.”

She giggled, “You what?”

Dreading this explanation, but feeling he owed her, “When I was younger, I fancied myself a poet, constantly scribbling in my notebook. I wrote about everything, but mostly about love. When I met Cecily, I thought I’d found my muse. Unfortunately, she di’nt see it that way. We were at a party when I confessed my love for her and read some of the poems I had written for her. She was appalled to say the least and told me that she could never be with someone like me, that I was beneath her.”

At Buffy’s shocked gasp, he replied, “Oh wait, it gets better. So, some of her friends overheard our little confrontation, grabbed my notebook and proceeded to read random entries aloud. From then on, I was known as William the Bloody Awful Poet.”

“Oh, God Spike that’s awful,” she commiserated. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. Girls can be real bitches sometimes. Xander dated this girl named Cordelia in high school. I thought she was queen bitch, but I have to say your Cecily sounds like she could giver her a run for her money.”

She added, then blushed, “Although, poetry aside, I don’t understand what she found lacking about you. I mean you’re not exactly hard on the eyes.”

At that comment, Spike tilted his head and studied her, “Is that a compliment?”

“No, just an observation,” she laughed.

“Well, thanks,” he smiled “but this is not the look I was sporting back then. Back in school, I looked more tweedy, kind of like a younger version of your stepfather.”

At that, Buffy burst into laughter.

“What?” a little peeved at her laughter.

Oh god, Buffy was practically rolling, “I’m just trying to picture you like that. Did you wear glasses?”

‘God, I knew I should have never started this.’ “Yes,” he stated.

“Oh and did you take off your glasses and polish them when you were nervous?” still giggling. “Giles does that, maybe it’s an English thing.”

“Ha ha, very funny. It was a long time ago and I wear contacts now,” he was starting to feel uncomfortable now.

“Clear ones, right?” as she looked straight into them. “Please don’t tell me those aren’t your own baby blues.”

Feeling slightly chuffed, “They’re mine.”

Now she was looking at him dreamily, “They’re beautiful.”

‘Ok, so loving this direction.’ He smirked, “Are you flirting with me?”

“What?” she bristled, “me no, just making an observation.”

Still smirking, “Ok, so what else might we find surprising about you Miss Giles?”

‘Subject change! Subject change!’ “After my mom died, I moved back home to help Giles take care of himself and Dawnie.” At his look of understanding, “I learned how to cook and tried my best to be there for them. Even though, it was a horrible time, I miss it. I miss cooking for them and sitting around the table together as a family. I know that sounds terribly domestic, but I had just never had that before and I certainly don’t have it now.”

“Are you a good cook?” he asked.

Now she seemed proud, “Well, I would not say that I’m Julia Child or anything and absolutely never let me bake, but I was pretty good at it. Alas, life on the road is not conducive to domesticity. No place to cook and no one to cook for.”

He smiled, “Well, if you ever feel the burning need to cook, I have an apartment full of appliances that have hardly been used.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that you actually live here in New York.” This brought up a question she had been meaning to ask, “Why is that? Rayne Magazine is from England, so why are you here?”

He got a brief look of distress and then said, “It’s a long story, but after my divorce I wanted to get away from England, get away from Dru.”

“Your ex-wife?” she clarified.

“Yes,” he sighed now. “I thought the distance would be good for me. That it would be a fresh start.”

She was on a role now, “So, you haven’t really seen her since your divorce?”

“No, I’m afraid I see her a little too much for my own good.” At her perplexed look, “We travel in a lot of the same circles, she comes to New York often, and her father is Ethan Rayne, the founder of Rayne Magazine.”

Her mouth was going faster than her brain now, “How do you think you can get her out of your life if you work for her dad?”

Feeling the need to justify himself to her, “I know it’s crazy, I just feel bad for the old man. He always treated me well, like a son, so I couldn’t just disown him when we divorced. I only work for him once in a while when he really needs it, like now.”

Mouth still running wild, “Oh, you must have really loved her if she could hurt you enough to leave the country.”

Needing to explain things to her for a reason he could not fathom, “I was quite young when I met Dru, still reeling from Cecily’s rejection, she blew into my life like a hurricane. She was like no one I had ever met, such a free spirit. I dropped anything and everything to be with her, completely changed my appearance and my life for her. I changed my major in college from literature to journalism and left William, the bloody awful poet behind.”

“Wow, what happened,” she asked, feeling jealous that no one had ever bothered doing all that for her and then reconsidering, “Oh sorry, I shouldn’t be grilling you like this.”

“No, it’s ok,” he gave her one of those sweet smiles again. “Like you and the Parker thing, I need to talk about it. We married after graduation and that’s when I got the job at the paper. I was doing local stuff for a couple of years when the middle-east job came up. I thought we agreed that it would be a good career move, but after less than a year, Dru was complaining that I was away too much and that I was not paying enough attention to her. I tried to be home more and when I was, I was the best husband I knew how to be, but it just wasn’t enough. I found out a short time later that she was involved with someone else.”

“Oh God,” now she felt really awful for grilling him.

He continued, “So, I confronted her with it and she begged me to forgive her. She said that she was just so lonely because I was always away and that if I quit the job and came home all would be back to normal.”

Feeling his pain, “And that is what you did.”

Shaking his head, sadly, “And that is what I did. I quit the newspaper and took a job full-time with the magazine. I showered her with gifts and love, did everything I could to make up for driving her into another man’s arms. A few months passed, we went to counseling, I thought everything was fine, then I came home early one day and found her in our bed with one of my co-workers at the magazine.”

Buffy couldn’t take it anymore and as he had done for her before, she pulled him into a fierce hug, “Oh Spike, I’m so sorry. What a bitch she was! is! You deserve so much better than her.”

At this point Spike was shaking and Buffy tried to sooth him further, ‘God she didn’t mean to make him cry’, but then she pulled back to look in his face and discovered that he was laughing, “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing it-it’s just nice to have someone on my side,” he cupped her cheek in his palm “and to call a spade a spade or in Dru’s case a bitch, a bitch.”

Buffy laughed too. At that point, they both realized that they were still in each other’s arms and broke apart.

Spike was the first to recover, “So what is your schedule tomorrow?”

“Blissfully, it is pretty clear,” she smiled. “I have a late lunch-time meeting with some record label people tomorrow, but other than that, I am free. I plan to sleep very late and then maybe hit the gym. What about you?”

Another touchy subject, “I actually have an interview scheduled with your ex tomorrow morning.”

Her eyes got wide, “Riley?”

Afraid that now he was going to lose all the ground he had gained with her, “Yes, does that upset you?”

Surprising herself, “No, no it is ok. We have come to terms with what happened in our relationship and I think we are both better for it. I would appreciate it though, if the details of our break-up were left out of the article. I just think there are some things that should not be for public consumption.”

“Fair enough pet,” he felt relieved. “Do you want to get together tomorrow evening to continue all this?”

“Ok,” she replied. “On one condition.”

Wary, “What’s that luv?”

She smiled, “We have to cover much less depressing subjects.”

“Sounds good.” At her yawn, he pulled her up from the sofa, “It’s late, so I should probably get going. Give me a call on my cell tomorrow when you want to hang out,” and he handed her a card.

She looked at the card briefly, then looked up at him, “Thanks for listening Spike,” and stood on tiptoe to place a chaste kiss on his lips. As soon as her lips met his, she knew it had been a mistake. Spike’s hands came up to cradle her face as her hands went to his shoulders and the kiss deepened.

Within seconds, they both came back to their senses and broke apart, breathing heavily.

‘What are you doing, you wanker? The girl just wanted to say thank you.’ Spike knew he’d blown it now, “Oh Buffy, I’m sorry, I-I-I…”

She smiled, “It’s ok, I think we both needed that.” Buffy walked to the door and opened it for him, “See you tomorrow.”

Spike smiled as he walked past her, “OK, see you tomorrow.”

When the door closed, they both let out long breaths and touched their hands to their lips, leaning on opposite sides of the door, thinking maybe a cold shower before bed would be a good thing.

************************************************************************
London 8:00AM…

Drusilla Rayne sits at her dining table enjoying her first cup of tea as she unfolds the London Daily Mirror. One glance at the front page and she stands, throws her teacup against the wall and screams, “DADDY!!!!!!!!!!”


 

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