Chapter 8

When Buffy opened her eyes she vaguely remembered a beautiful dream, another of those pretty fantasies where she’d found Spike again. Just walked into a room and there he was, all ready to sweep her off her feet and... Buffy’s train of thought stopped for a moment when she shifted her body and realised it was not her nice comfy bed or even the couch beneath her, but something solid and wooden, like a table maybe?

"What the...?" she said absently as she opened her eyes and attempted to get herself into a sitting position. A strong hand on her arm and another on her back helped her with her task and as the swimming in her head calmed and her eyes refocused she realised that dream she’d been having might not have been in her subconscious after all.

"Am I dreaming?" she checked, blinking overly much.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, pet" Spike smiled slightly, "Was just wondering the same thing, right before you passed out into my arms"

"How did...? What is...?" these and a million other words and fractured questions sped round Buffy’s brain fast enough to make her dizzy all over again. No sentence seemed to be able to make it all the way out of her mouth in the right order at all.

"Er, luv" Spike got her attention a she glanced away, "You got to help me out here, are you just as confused and stunned as I am, or is the blacking out a factor? I mean, should I call a doctor or something?"

"No, no, no doctor" Buffy shook her head gentle, mindful of her delicate head, "I’m fine I guess it’s just the b... big shock" she covered when she realised what she’d been about to say - Baby.

"Say that again, luv" Spike nodded, "Gotta say you were the last person I expected to see here, anywhere in fact" he told her, sitting down on the chair by the desk he’d put her on, "Buffy I... I honestly don’t know what to say, despite the fact I’ve had this scene go round in my head at least once a day since..."

"Me too" she admitted without thinking as their eyes met and Buffy was suddenly very self conscious about how she looked and the fact she was half sitting-half laying on a desk, "Um, you think maybe I could have a chair instead of being up here?" she asked with a nervous laugh and Spike almost physically hit himself in the forehead for being such an idiot. He dragged a seat over near to his as Buffy got down from the desk and sat beside him. Silence reigned for several moments and then when they finally did speak it was both at once.

"I’m sorry, ladies first" Spike told her chivalrously.

"No really, you go" Buffy urged him. She hadn’t really known what she was going to say anyway and had simply hoped that after the first couple of words the rest would just come to her, which it really hadn’t.

"Just wanted you to know" Spike told her, glancing down at his hands and then back up at her face, "I don’t make a habit of going on my holidays, shagging the nearest bird and then flying off into the sunset" he assured her.

"Not really my thing to go sleeping with random guys I meet in bars either" she replied in kind, "I mean, I wouldn’t want you to think I was some kind of whore cos I’m really not I..."

"I never thought that" he said quickly, his hand landing on hers where it lay in her lap.

She nodded dumbly that she understood, no words coming to mind as their eyes met once again, and she realised with a slight smile that her memory of his eyes was not the least contrived. They really were that beautiful blue that the sky sometimes turned on a really good day, and she knew if she looked too long she’d start drowning again, just as she had the night he’d made love to her.

"Er, I had no idea you were an English teacher" she said, feeling her cheeks burn as images of that fateful night ran through her mind, "but then I guess we didn’t exactly talk much..." she trailed off, looking down at her hands, infinitely grateful that he’d let up his hold on one of them. His fingers wrapped around hers only served to remind her in vivid detail where else his hands had touched her, how wonderful he’d made her feel.

"...but yeah, I enjoy it and it pays well enough" she heard him say as she tuned back in to his voice, "I hazard a guess you were interested in joining the class then, since you seemed to have no idea I was teaching it"

"Yeah" Buffy nodded, "It was my Dad’s idea that I take some classes and I always liked English. It would’ve been my major in college, if I’d actually gotten a chance to go but..." she was about to mention Michael when she realised Spike knew nothing of her child, or even her marriage. In fact as she thought back she noted, he didn’t even know her last name, and that scared her to death. Whilst she and Spike knew each other’s bodies in intimate detail, they knew practically nothing of value, no details of their lives or families or anything.

"Life doesn’t always go like you planned" Spike smiled, his double meaning not lost on Buffy.

"It doesn’t" she agreed, "Kinda wacky how I found you here like this, I never thought I’d see you again"

"Same here, pet" Spike admitted, "’Specially since you had me believin’ Sunnyhell was home"

"Sunnydale is home" Buffy frowned, "Or was at least. I lived there all my life until a month ago, everything’s been a little crazy the last few weeks"

"Don’t s’pose you chose England to run too cos you thought..." he started, stopping again and smiling wryly, "Don’t be stupid, Spike, that’d be really idiotic" he told himself, looking away.

"If I thought it’d be this simple to find you I might’ve come sooner" Buffy admitted, unsure as to whether she should have said the words within seconds of them leaving her lips, "You’ve been on my mind kind of a lot" she told him, though she could feel her cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. To think of him was to think of what they did and that was something a little awkward to confess.

"Made my vacation special, that’s for sure" Spike told her with a smile, "Never gonna forget that"

"Me either" Buffy replied, eyes down and finding the whole situation much more uncomfortable than she thought it’d be. In her head, her reunion with Spike, should it ever occur, was to be all romantic and sexy. In reality it was just embarrassing and kinda weird.

"Um, are you feeling okay now, luv?" Spike checked, "I mean, I know you had a shock but you were out for a couple of minutes"

"It’s fine, really" Buffy answered quickly, "I just... I guess I’m just one of those people that passes out a lot" she laughed nervously, "Slightest stress or surprise and there I am, flat on my back again... not in that way obviously, I... oh, bad, bad Buffy" she cursed herself, hiding her face in her hands.

"Believe me, pet, reckon we both got the same mental imagery" he smirked, "Y’know I’ll bet I spent half the time since I met you thinkin’ about seein’ you again" he admitted, "Now you’re sittin’ right there and, rehearsals be damned, I can’t think of a damn thing to say to you"

"I know how you feel" Buffy sighed, meaning that sincerely, "I guess it was just kind of a daydream before. I never thought I’d really walk into a room and there you’d be" she shook her head, still wondering vaguely if she wasn’t going to wake up in her bed in just a minute, this having all been another fantasy, although she doubted it could be since he hadn’t kissed her yet.

Looking down at her hands in her lap, she noticed her watch on her wrist. She’d been in this room half an hour, so Mickey Mouse was telling her from the face of her watch. She smiled as she recalled buying it, Michael convincing her it was the best one in the whole store, despite rows of gold and silver having caught her eye before. Still, she’d bought the one he’d chosen and she loved to wear it everyday. As she glanced back up and found Spike still looking at her she almost physically winced.

He didn’t know she had a son, and though she’d left Angel she technically still had a husband too. She’d been not-so-happily married and with a family and yet she’d fallen into his bed all too easily. She couldn’t tell him that, couldn’t let Spike know she was that kind of woman, not that she was, she’d never done anything like this before but, there was no way for him to know that for sure.

"Somethin’ wrong, luv?" he asked her, and Buffy realised her worry must have shown on her face.

"Er, yeah, no, I just..." she rambled a little as she got to her feet, her beautiful fantasy ideas giving way to serious thoughts of how she’d never be able to really make a life or anything substantial with this guy. She was having his baby and yet she knew almost nothing about him, she had to be insane.

"I have to go" Buffy said quickly as she made of the door, internally cursing herself for being such a fool, for having all those pretty dreams of love and passion and happy-ever-after endings. Life wasn’t like that, she knew from past experience, what seemed good turned bad, especially when things got serious and complicated, where marriages and babies were involved.

"But I will see you again?" Spike said hopefully, "Waited so long, pet" he told her, "Can hardly believe you walked through that door but you did and... I got a chance to know you better now, and I wanna do that"

"Why?" Buffy asked too softly as he moved towards her and stood by her at the door.

"Because... because I can’t get you out of my head" Spike told her honestly, "Because that one night with you doesn’t compare to anything I ever had with anyone else"

"You can’t base a friendship, a relationship, anything on one night" she said bitterly, having just realised it herself and hating that she had, "I have a life, one that you don’t know anything about" she told him, feeling almost tearful about it, but then she guessed that was her hormones getting all out of whack because of the baby.

"And so do I, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get to know each other" Spike said almost desperately, trying to make her see what he was feeling. He’d love to show her but there were rules here. That night in that club in America, and then in the hotel, it was just the two of them, both a little lost and a little drunk and just needing something that they found in each other. Here he was a teacher, she was a potential student and he’d got her backed up against the door looking like a frightened rabbit. As much as he wished today had gone differently, he couldn’t make her want him and he wouldn’t try, not this way.

"I really have to go" Buffy told him, shifting uncomfortably and turning to get the door open. Spike moved away from her to make the task easier, unable to watch as she walked out of the room. He hadn’t seen her go last time, had no chance to stop her. This time he did and of all the stupid things he was too bloody scared to try. He didn’t know this woman, not in a real sense. He didn’t know how she’d react to anything he did, and because of that he was going to lose her from his life all over again. Spike wasn’t sure he could let that happen.

On the other side of the door, Buffy leant against the wall, breathing deeply to try and calm herself. The close proximity of Spike’s body to hers had done nothing for her concentration, and in the end she just had to get out. She’d been insane to think it would be perfect, so much the romantic novel if they ever met again. That was for books and movies only, but then when he’d made love to her that night she’d felt like she was in one of those stories, it’d been so intensely perfect. Now she was walking out on the only man that had ever made her feel such wonderful things, and she wasn’t sure if she could actually do it.

With a sigh Buffy turned back to the door and knocked, it opened immediately and she guessed he’d been standing right there on the other side, maybe waiting for her to come back. Neither was sure who moved first as their arms went around each other and they kissed with some considerable passion, Spike being sure to get them both through the door and close it fast before anybody saw them.

Back against the door, being kissed almost senseless, Buffy couldn’t believe this was happening, but this was no daydream, not anymore, they never felt this good. Memory and imagination alone could not do justice to the way Spike could make her feel, and they’d barely even begun. Buffy also knew they had to stop before they went too far again, but it took all her strength to tell him so.

"Spike" she gasped, making a half-hearted attempt to push him away, "Really, we can’t" she told him, though as soon as he stopped kissing her she pulled him right back to her for more. It was crazy but she couldn’t help herself, she’d waited too long to feel this way again, and it almost scared her to death how just his lips on hers and his hands through her clothing could make her feel ten times more than she’d ever felt making love with Angel.

Thoughts of her husband pulled her up sharply and this time she meant it when she told Spike they had to stop.

"This is insane" she said, breathing heavily when they finally let each other go.

Buffy walked a few steps past him and further into the room. If she didn’t put some distance between them they weren’t going to get anywhere, or rather more accurately they’d get somewhere they shouldn’t go right now.

"I dunno what it is, pet" Spike told her, though she couldn’t look at him yet, "Just know I never felt anything like it... You mean something to me Buffy, somehow you got under my skin and..."

"And I shouldn’t have" she said with a shake of her head, "Spike, do you not get how wrong all this is?" she asked, finally sparing him a glance.

"Well, ‘s not exactly the conventional way to date a woman" he smirked, "But I don’t see the big wrong aspect here, I mean it’s not like we’re cheating on anyone, is it?" he checked, head tilted as he stared at her.

Buffy stared back, swallowing hard and feeling terribly sick now. She had cheated, on Angel, and in a sense she still was since her marriage wasn’t legally over. She also had a child to consider and another that grew inside her. How the hell she was supposed to tell Spike all that, a man that in real terms she barely knew. Buffy quite honestly had no idea where to begin.

"I was right before" she said suddenly making for the door at speed, "I have to go" she told him as she made to walk out a second time, with no intent of coming straight back in on this occasion.

"Buffy!" Spike called after her, "I will see you again, right?" he checked as she turned back at the door.

"I... I don’t know" she said looking pained, "I really don’t think I’ll be taking this class now" she admitted, shaking her head, a small laugh escaping her lips, "You wouldn’t be great for the concentration"

Spike wasn’t quite sure whether that was a back-handed compliment or something else, but he’d take what he could get right now.

"Wait a second" he said, realising she really was going this time, he hurried over to the door, "At least tell me your last name, pet, I ought to know that, considering"

She hesitated a moment and then she answered.

"Summers" she told him, "My name is Buffy Summers"

It wasn’t strictly true of course, her last name was still O’Reilly and even if she went back to her unmarried name she ought to be Giles now, but her young carefree self was Buffy Summers and that’s what she told Spike.

"Summers, eh?" he smirked as he looked at her, "Suits you, luv"

With a half-smile she turned away then and he watched her back as she walked down the corridor and out of the front doors, praying to any power that’d listen, that he would see Buffy Summers again soon.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 9

"Mommy!" Michael squealed, running into her arms as soon as she got through the front door.

"Hey sweetie" she smiled, "You have a good day?" she checked as they came back into the living room where Giles sat in his chair with a children’s storybook he’d obviously been reading to her son.

"We did math at school" Michael grinned, "I can count higher than all the other kids in my class" he told her proudly, "And at lunch Mandy Stevenson tried to kiss me" he added, his smile turning into an unimpressed look that almost made Buffy laugh.

"Did you have productive trip to the college, Buffy?" Giles asked her as she sat down opposite him.

"Grandpa Giles says you’re gonna go to school Mommy" Michael chipped in, "I thought Mommy’s already knew everything" he said with puzzled expression on his little face.

"Nobody knows everything, sweetie" Buffy told him, ruffling his hair, "but no, Mommy probably won’t be going back to school after all" she admitted, much to her father’s surprise. Still, he kept quiet in front of Michael, since it seemed Buffy didn’t want to speak further on the subject with him around.

It was a few hours later when the little boy had been put to bed that Giles came into the living room with two mugs of cocoa to ask his daughter what was troubling her. She’d been too quiet and distant since she got back from the college, and he wanted to know both the reason for this and for her sudden decision not to take the English classes she’d been so set on before.

"I guess you wanna know what’s up, right?" Buffy asked, before Giles had a chance to speak.

"If you wish to tell me, I’ll gladly listen" he told her as he sat down in the chair opposite where she was on the couch with her legs pulled up underneath herself, "I know we haven’t known each other long, Buffy, but I can tell that something is worrying you"

"I went to the college" she began to explain, staring into the mug between her hands, "I met the Professor, and I knew him..." she said, glancing up at her father, "It’s Spike"

"Spike?" Giles echoed, not understanding.

"The guy that I..." Buffy said awkwardly, "That night when I was... unfaithful. He’s the father of my baby, Giles" she said, one hand going sub-consciously to her stomach, "He’s the one man in the world that I never thought I’d see again, the one that I..." her sentence trailed away as she was forced to swallow hard in order to keep her tears at bay. Everything was so mixed up, so complicated, and just when it had felt it was getting a little better too.

"Goodness me" Giles gasped, "What an incredible coincidence"

"Tell me about it" Buffy replied quietly, her voice wavering with emotion, "All the times I thought about it, dreamed about it, and what was the first thing I did when I saw him?" she laughed humourlessly as the herself, "I passed out" she admitted.

"Well, in the circumstances I’m sure he understood" Giles told her kindly, "I mean the shock alone, and then your condition of course"

"I didn’t tell him about that" Buffy told him guiltily shaking her head, "I know I probably should’ve but... Giles, I barely know him, he barely knows me. I have a son and another child on the way, and technically I’m still married"

"Yes, I suppose there are rather a lot of complications that he’s not aware of" Giles considered as he removed his glasses and polished them, "Do you think you want to tell him these things, to let him be a part of your life?" he asked Buffy.

"Yes" came her immediate answer, "No, yes, I don’t know" she changed her mind too many times before putting her face in her hands and making a frustrated sound.

"This is insane!" she exclaimed as she ran her hands over her face and back through her hair, "Six months ago I was home in my apartment with my husband and my son living an ordinary life" she shook her head, "Now, I’m here in a foreign country, with a Dad I never knew I had, pregnant by a guy I’ve met a total of two times, and... and I have no idea how to deal" she sighed, tears of frustration, and anger, and desperation coming to her eyes.

"Don’t upset yourself, my dear" Giles urged her, as he reached out a hand to her arm, "For my part, I’m terribly sorry for any upset or confusion I have caused" he apologised.

"It’s not you" Buffy assured him, managing a half smile as she put her hand over his, "I love that I found you, and everything you’ve done for me and for Michael, I can’t even tell you what it means to me"

"It’s what any father would’ve done" he said modestly, but Buffy disagreed.

"Not my father" she told him, "Well, y’know, Hank. Not all guys would’ve done what you have, taken us in like this, accepted us"

"I’ve missed so much, Buffy" Giles sighed, "You grew up without me, and dear Joyce passed away never truly knowing how much I loved her. The very least I can do is be here for you now, help in anyway I can, and you know I’m getting just as much out of it as you" he smiled, "I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful grandson who I fully intend to spoil as much as I am able" he told her solemnly, making Buffy smile wider.

"I’m so sorry you didn’t get a chance to be my Dad before" she said sadly, "I think you’d have been great when I was growing up"

"Perhaps" Giles agreed modestly, "but the more important question now I suppose would be what kind of father might Spike make?" he reminded her.

"How can I possibly know that?" Buffy laughed humourlessly, "The first time we met we barely had a conversation and today... I didn’t know where to start I was so shocked to see him" she said as she picked up her cocoa from the table once again and ran her finger round the top of the mug.

"How do you tell a guy you hardly even know, that you want him to come play Daddy cos you’re having his baby?" she asked Giles, wishing it were just that simple.

"If I could wave a magic wand, and solve all your problems, Buffy" he told her, "You know that is exactly what I would do, but as it is..."

"You can’t" she interrupted with a sad smile, "and I know that, obviously. This isn’t a fairytale and I’m not a princess. Spike is not Prince Charming, and there is no fairy godmother or whatever to make this all better"

"That is all true" Giles agreed, "but Buffy, things could all turn out well, we must look on the bright-side, things could be much worse"

"Worse things happen at sea" she smiled, "that’s what Mom used to say"

"A very good reason to never buy a boat I’m sure" Giles said with a wry smile as he sipped his cocoa, glad to see Buffy laugh silently at his mini-joke.

"I think I need to go to bed" she said a moment later, taking her cocoa with her as she got to her feet, "Maybe sleep will help me figure out where I go from here" she said with more confidence than she really felt about her little plan.

"Sweet dreams, my dear" her father said as she left the room and headed to her bedroom.

Buffy passed by Michael’s room and stopped by the door to look in on him. Her son slept peacefully, no doubt dreaming of pirate adventures or slaying dragons, or any number of other childhood fantasies that boys of six and seven years old were prone to have. It was all so innocent back then, at that tender age. Boys wanted to be heroes, and knights, and kings, little girls wanted to be princesses and angels. All you wanted as you grew up was to be happy, to be your parents maybe in their good moments. For all her dreams, Buffy had never once considered her life might turn out as it had.

She sighed as she silently closed the door of Michael’s bedroom and walked along the hall to her own. She finished up her cocoa, changed into her nightwear and got into bed, mind still whirring with a million thoughts she doubted she’d ever be able to deal with.

Buffy didn’t think she’d ever get to sleep with so much going on inside her head, but at length she managed to close her eyes and drift away, the last thought she had being; ‘I wonder what Spike is thinking about tonight?’

‘Somebody please, kill me now’ Spike thought as he stared into his drink and listened to the girl next to him prattle on about something mind-numbingly boring, about some mates of hers whom he didn’t know nor ever cared to. He’d only got talking to the silly bint because from the back and in the bad lighting of the pub she’d looked vaguely like Buffy Summers. As he reached her side he knew he was wrong, but it was too late, she’d spotted him and decided she wanted a chat and a drink.

Having nothing else to do, Spike took a seat and bought Harmony a cocktail. Her yammering about visiting the country from America made his mind wander far away from her words to his own trip away, and the beautiful blonde he had met in Sunnydale, California. Now she was here, living somewhere within a few miles radius of the college he guessed though he had no idea where. Buffy Summers, her name was as beautiful as she was, he decided as he downed another drink, hoping to make himself numb to Harmony’s chatter. He was just too nice to tell a lady to shut her gob, not that she seemed to be much of a lady, if her skimpy outfit and the amount she was drinking was anything to go by.

When time was called and everyone was asked to leave the pub so it could close, Spike and Harmony got off their bar stools at the same time, her falling a little drunkenly into his arms.

"Well, Spikey" she giggled, "What do you wanna do now?" she asked him.

"Don’t know about you, pet" he sighed as he hauled her up so she was standing straight, "but I just fancy going home to my bed"

"That sounds like fun" Harmony smiled drunkenly as she leaned in very close to him, "Wanna take me with you?" she whispered, her face close to his. Far from being attracted to her, Spike turned his head away to escape the strong smell of all the alcohol she’d consumed.

"Sorry, luv" he shook his head as he sat her back down on her stool and called one of the bar staff over, "Could someone call her a cab?" he asked, tilting his head towards the dizzy blonde. The barmaid said she would and Spike turned to Harmony.

"Look, pet" he sighed, "’S not that you’re not a lovely girl, and I’m very flattered and all that but... well, thanks, but no thanks, okay?" he told her before turning to walk away. Harmony barely heard him as she concentrated solely on sitting upright on the stool and not falling off.

When Spike got outside the fresh air hit him like a smack in the face, but not as much as reality had done already. A girl in there, blonde and American and a little drunk, had just offered him a night of fun, something he’d turned down without a thought. She wasn’t like Buffy, at least she had some class, hadn’t just thrown herself drunkenly into his arms, giggling like a mad thing. She was better, different, more than just a one night stand, he’d known that even then. When he’d woken up in the morning and found the other side of the bed empty he’d hated to think he’d never see her again. It wasn’t as if she was the first women he’d slept with or anything, he’d had his share of women but nobody had made him feel quite like Buffy had. Of course he’d told himself it was just the thrill of it all, her being some kind of holiday fling or whatever, but it wasn’t as simple as that.

Now here she was, back in his life, her kiss exciting him as much now as it had before. Spike wanted her, wanted to be with her again, wanted to get to know her, find out if what was between them was something real, because it certainly felt like it could be. He sighed as he walked towards home, lighting a cigarette on the way and blowing out smoke into the night. Tomorrow he was going to find Buffy Summers, no matter what it took. At the very least he had to know how and why she was suddenly here, and if he ever stood a chance of calling her his own.

To Be Continued...
 

Chapter 10

Spike sighed in defeat as a tenth door was shut in his face and the list in his hand told him there were no more people by the name of Summers living in the area. Seemed none of them had heard of a young woman by the name of Buffy, and none were related to anybody American that they were aware of. Kicking a can across the street, Spike pulled a packet of fags and a lighter from his inside pocket. He cursed as he tried to light the cigarette he’d just put in his mouth but everytime he tried the breeze blew the flame out.

"Bloody hell" he said angrily as he gave up and threw the cigarette to the ground, "Today is not my soddin’ day" he complained as he strode off down the street, black leather duster swooshing out behind him. He looked fairly intimidating to most people but one little boy who spotted the man in the coat was fascinated by him, thinking he looked like some kind of superhero with a flowing cape and cool hair.

"Mommy?" the little boy whined as he pulled on the bottom of her long skirt, "Mommy, look!" he urged her but she was too busy paying the cab driver to pay proper attention right now.

"Just a minute, sweetie" she told him as she fought with her purse and all the bags she was already carrying despite the fact she was only half done shopping. She didn’t notice her son start to wander off down the street and worse she wasn’t watching as he came to the edge of the busy street. He looked down the road a few feet where the cool super-hero guy was walking and decided he wanted to get closer, maybe say hi and ask if he had any cool super powers to go with his outfit. Mommy said not to talk to strangers but this was different. She was just a few yards away and this man was like Superman or something so he wouldn’t hurt him.

With a grin on his face the little boy headed towards the man, crossing the road without looking at all. As the cab pulled away from in front of her, Buffy looked around and realised her son had gone. Then she saw him.

"Michael!" she screamed as she realised he was in the middle of oncoming traffic, though her warning only served to make him stop walking right as a lorry came at him, "Nooo!" Buffy yelled, her bags falling from her hands and everything from tin cans to oranges rolling down the street discarded as she pelted down the road, still there was no way to make it to her son in time. Thankfully Spike had spotted the child too and dived into the road, pulling Michael back just a split second before the lorry passed by, horn blaring as the driver cursed and gave an unpleasant hand signal to the idiots in the road.

"That was cool" Michael grinned as he clambered off Spike who barely believed what he was hearing. He sat on the edge of the pavement, breathing heavily from the shock and adrenaline and staring at the little boy who looked thrilled by the experience of almost dying!

"I knew you were a superhero" he gushed just as Buffy found her way across the street and scooped the child into her arms.

"Oh God, my baby" she cried as she held him tight, "Michael, sweetie, what were you doing! You don’t ever run away for me like that! Oh darling, are you hurt?" she checked, alternating between mixed panic and worry about her boy’s welfare, and anger at his stupidity.

"I’m okay" Michael told his frantic mother as she checked him over for injuries, "He saved me, the super-hero" he grinned as he pointed over her shoulder. Buffy couldn’t believe it when she turned around and her eyes landed on Spike.

"You" she breathed, still holding onto Michael tightly, "Spike?"

"Buffy?" he echoed back, feeling similarly breathless both from the incident and now seeing the very woman he’d been searching for, standing right in front of him, holding a child that was... calling her Mommy?

"You’re... He’s yours?" Spike said confusedly, glancing between Michael and Buffy as he pulled himself to his feet.

"He’s mine" she agreed, feeling sick for a hundred different reasons right now, "Are you okay?" she checked, the memory of what he’d just done seemingly coming to the surface in her mind once again.

"Yeah" he nodded, "Er, nothing a needle and a thread won’t fix" he shrugged, noting the rip he’d made in his jeans when he’d landed.

"Mommy, do you know the superhero?" Michael asked her excitedly.

Spike finally tore his eyes from Buffy’s long enough to glance at the boy and answer the question on the blondes behalf.

"’M not a superhero, mate" he told the boy, "Just a... well, I know your Mum a little bit"

"Oh" Michael was a little disappointed that this guy wasn’t the big hero type he thought he was, just another friend of Mommy.

"Maybe not a superhero" Buffy agreed, "But a hero anyway. Spike, you saved my son’s life" she told him, putting a hand to his arm, "How can I ever thank you for that?"

"You already have" Spike smiled, "Seein’ you again’s the best prize I could’ve won... not that I saved your boy for that, obviously" he back-pedalled, "Didn’t even know he was yours, how could I?"

It was at this point that the small crowd of people around them seemed to come into focus, all checking Michael was okay, and praising Spike for his act of apparent heroism. After a few minutes, everyone had satisfied their concern and/or curiosity over the incident and had gone back to their lives, leaving Buffy and Spike, and little Michael still standing there.

"I should really take Michael to the hospital, get him checked over" his mother told the bleached blond, "I know he looks fine but... I should go" she said, quickly turning on her heel.

"Buffy" Spike called as he ran after her, grabbing her arm and making her turn back, "Please, luv" he begged her, "My car’s just round the corner, let me give you a lift"

After a moment she sighed.

"Okay, yes, thank you" she conceded, holding tight to Michael’s hand as they followed Spike to where his car waited. Buffy was a little surprised to find he drove a 1958 Dodge DeSoto Fireflite, a car she could only identify since Angel had wanted one when he was a teen, that or a 1967 Plymouth Belvedere GTX Convertible. It was funny the little things that stuck in your head like that, Buffy thought as she helped Michael get strapped into the back of the car and then got in beside him. Thinking about Angel’s old love for cars just reminded her that when she finally had the now inevitable ‘big talk’ with Spike she would have to tell him not only about Michael, but also about her husband back in LA, not to mention the baby she carried inside her right now that was half his own.

"So, little fella, you got a name?" Spike asked Michael as he glanced at him in the rear view mirror. The boy glanced at Buffy for confirmation that it was okay to tell before answering.

"Michael James O’Reilly" he announced, "What’s yours?"

It took a few moments for Spike to recover enough to answer the kid’s question. He had expected Summers to be the boy’s last name and if it wasn’t that could really only mean one thing.

"Er, William Armstrong" he said eventually, "but my mates call me Spike"

"That’s cool" Michael grinned, "Why do they call you that?" he asked a moment later and Buffy told him to hush and not ask so many questions that weren’t his business. Still, she couldn’t help but think maybe if she’d been as quizzical as her child she might not be in a situation where she was falling for a complete stranger.

"Not really a story I can tell you, mate" Spike smirked, "’S one for when you’re older I reckon" he said swiftly changing the subject, "Do we need to call anyone, about the accident?" he asked Buffy, "I mean, Michael’s father or anything?" he checked, really just digging for information, like if his suspicions were true and Buffy really was a married woman. Now that he thought about it, she never had actually agreed with him when he said they hadn’t cheated on anyone that night in the Sunnydale hotel.

"No" Buffy answered fast, "but I should probably let Giles know we’ll be late home" she realised, as she rifled through her purse for her cellphone. It was the only bag she hadn’t dropped as she’d run to Michael’s aid, and then only because she had the strap crossed over her body.

Spike listened intently as Buffy dialled the number and talked to this Giles person. He knew how wrong it was to eavesdrop on another persons phone conversion, but he had to know what was going on and the blonde seemed less than forthcoming with the info, something he understood more now he knew she had a child.

"He’s fine, at least he seems fine" Buffy said in the back, as she held the cell phone to her ear.

"I’m okay, honest" Michael called in her other ear, "Mommy, tell Grandpa Giles I’m okay!"

"I guess you heard that" Buffy smiled as she talked a little longer and Spike also smiled to himself when he realised that Giles was clearly not a boyfriend or similar to Buffy but more likely her Dad or at least a father figure of some kind if Michael was calling him Grandpa.

The trip to the hospital continued in silence, once the phone call had ended. Spike went in with the mother and son, even when Buffy told him it was unnecessary. He was so determined to get some answers from her, even if this was a bad time. He was so afraid of letting her walk out on him again and not being able to find her a fourth time. The first three chance meetings were miracles all by themselves, but clearly fate intended something more to happen between them.

Spike winced a little when Buffy gave her name to the nurse at the desk as Buffy O’Reilly. Before she’d apparently been Summers, which seemed now to be a lie. Spike was seriously beginning to wonder if she’d been trying to tell him to get lost by giving him a fake person to search for and yet when they’d kissed in his classroom, no-one could fake the way she reacted, the look in her eyes. She felt things for him, the same things he felt for her, he was almost certain. He just wished he could get a chance to ask her what the hell was going on before he went crazy!

"Are you okay?" a kindly looking nurse asked him as he sat in the waiting area with his head in his hands.

"Oh, yeah" he nodded, as he looked up, "I’m just waiting for my... friend, and her son" he explained.

"The blonde with the seven year old boy, seeing Dr Pryce?" the nurse checked, "He’s fine, they’re just on their way back to you" she smiled, glad to see the man do the same.

"Thanks for that" Spike was saying just as he spotted Buffy coming through the double doors towards him. He quickly got to his feet.

"Hey" Buffy greeted him before looking down at her son, "Sweetie, don’t you have something to say to Sp.. Mr Armstrong" she corrected herself.

"Thank you for saving me" Michael said dutifully, looking up at Spike who crouched down to his level to save the kid breaking his neck.

‘S alright, mate" he told the boy, ruffling his hair, "Glad to be of service, but here’s a tip, don’t go walking out in the middle of anymore roads any time soon, eh? Reckon you scared poor Mum here half to death"

"Sorry, Mommy" Michael said, shifting his gaze up to Buffy who smiled at him.

"It’s okay, baby" she assured him, "but like Mr Armstrong said, no more running in the road like that, it’s not safe, you know that"

"Can I go to the bathroom now?" the little boy asked, looking a little ashamed of himself and the same nurse from before pointed out that the bathroom was just a few feet down the hall. Michael went off by himself and Spike got back to his feet facing Buffy who really had nowhere to run now.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 11

"I guess before we say anything else, I should start with thankyou" Buffy said shyly, "Spike, you saved my son’s life today, there just aren’t words..."

"Doesn’t need to be" Spike shook his head, "’M not standing here waiting for your gratitude Buffy" he explained, "More interested in knowing why you lied to me"

She looked a little affronted, despite the fact what he said was true. She’d lied about her name, and concealed the truth about pretty much everything else. Still, what gave him the right to feel so bad about it? They were almost perfect strangers, not counting their one night of sexual bliss together and some heated kissing more recently. She knew nothing of value about him or his life, why should he know about hers?

"I tried to explain this to you before" she sighed, "We both have lives, Spike, completely seperate worlds. I don’t belong in yours and you don’t belong in mine" she said almost sadly, wishing it were simpler and that their lives could be intertwined. She was carrying his child after all, but that little announcement would have to wait a while at least, there was so much else to be discussed first.

"I thought the idea was for us to find out if our lives were compatible, if we were" he frowned, "Buffy you said yourself there’s something between us, I know you feel it the same as I do" he said, eyes boring into her own almost hypnotising her as he stepped in closer.

"I do feel it" she breathed unevenly, "You know I do, and if things were different I..." she stopped and started again, "Spike, things are complicated, much more complicated than you think"

"Then explain it to me" he begged her, "Explain it all to me, tell me about yourself and your life and let me do the same" he said, almost desperately, "Fates keep throwing us together, luv, the least we can do is find out why"

Buffy tried to take a deep breath but found even that was an issue when Spike was so close to her, the look in his eyes so intense, and the desperation in his voice so obvious. He really wanted to now her, wanted to see if they could make a life together. It was crazy, she knew it was, but their first meeting hadn’t exactly been the most sane experience of her life, definitely the most beautiful one though. Problem was, if she did do this, tell Spike the whole truth about her life, would he still want her then? When he knew she had a drunken husband back home, when he realised she was carrying his own child?

"Spike" she whispered, his lips just a fraction of an inch away from hers right now. So afraid of wasting a moment of time she might have with this man, she closed the gap and kissed him. The magic didn’t last for long.

"Mommy?" her son called from the door of the bathroom door down the hall and in seconds Buffy was across the corridor with a good eight feet between her and Michael’s saviour.

"Hey, sweetie" the blonde smiled, straightening her hair out where Spike’s hand had wandered briefly, "Let’s get you home now. Grandpa Giles will be worrying" she said as she took hold of his hand and headed for the doors.

"Are you taking us home, Spike?" Michael asked as they paused by the bleached blond.

"Er, if your Mum says so then, yeah, sure thing, mate" Spike half smiled as he glanced between the child and Buffy.

"Thanks" she nodded as the three walked out to the car.

Buffy felt physically nauseous though she covered it well as she made sure Michael was properly strapped into the car and listened all the way home as he yammered on about the excitement of the day and how sorry he was for scaring his Mommy. Spike stole glances at them in his rear view mirror, hating that he still hadn’t gotten a proper conversation with Buffy yet, but liking the fact that at least she was feeling for him some of what he was feeling for her, the kiss she initiated in the hospital had proven that.

"Left here and then straight on" she said, giving further directions towards her home. Spike was quite surprised when she said to head through the gates after taking the next right turn. The house was bloody huge compared to anywhere he’d ever lived, and soddin’ enormous when looked at against his current apartment. Seemed Michael’s Grandpa Giles wasn’t short of a bob or two.

As he pulled up on the drive, Buffy got Michael out of the car and the three of them stood awkwardly on the gravel by the front door of the house.

"What do you say to Spike, honey?" Buffy said to her son who looked up at the bleached blond.

"Thank you for saving me from the truck" he told him, "and for driving me and Mommy around" he continued, "Oh, and I think your coat is really cool, like a superheros cape" he grinned.

Spike crouched down to the kid’s level, smirking at his words.

"You wanna thank me, mate, you just never scare your Mum like that again, right?" he told him, trying to look serious, "and as for the coat, well, s’pose it is sort of like a superhero costume, certainly worked today, didn’t it?" he smirked once again and Michael nodded frantically.

"Totally!" he gushed as Giles appeared by the front door.

"I thought I heard voices" he said as Michael slipped his mother’s hand and ran to his Grandpa, telling him he should come meet Spike because he’s a superhero.

"Buffy, my dear" her father smiled as he came over, "Is this a friend of yours?" he asked, wondering where she might have found such a person and why on earth she would have brought him home. He hardly looked like the sort of young man she should associate with.

"Giles, this is William Armstrong, or Spike" she said wishing the ground would open up and swallow her immediately, "Spike, this is my father, Rupert Giles"

The two men shook hands, eyeing each other a little warily. Giles could hardly believe this was the man Buffy had betrayed her husband for, who’s child she was carrying, and was somehow an educator in the field of English! On Spike’s part he was wondering how much more complicated this whole thing with Buffy was likely to get. Her father it seemed was as English as he himself was, whilst Buffy and her son were Yanks. Then there was the fact that dear old Dad was called Giles, whilst she and Michael were O’Reilly, and in the first place she’d given her name to him as Summers.

"Buffy has mentioned you" Giles nodded as he retracted his hand from Spike’s own, "On more than one occasion actually"

"Yeah, you’ve come up in conversation too" the bleached blond nodded as Buffy continued to stare at the gravel drive, still wishing it would do the whole open/swallow thing as soon as possible. Of course it didn’t bother, just stayed all flat and solid and ordinary - stupid ground!

"Mommy!" Michael whined catching her attention, "We missed our ice-cream!" he realised, yelling over dramatically about it, "It’s Saturday, we always have ice-cream on Saturday and we forgot!" he said urgently pulling at her sleeve.

Buffy looked down at him and then up and between her Dad and Spike, feeling so confused and overwhelmed by both this moment and all those that had come before it today.

"Sweetie, I don’t know if..." she began, only to have Giles interrupt her.

"Well, now, Michael" he said to the boy, "How would it be if I took you to get some ice-cream, so that your mother and, er, Mr Armstrong might have a talk by themselves"

"Can’t they come with us?" the little boy frowned, "What do you need to talk to Spike about, Mommy?" he asked, not loving the fact that he wouldn’t be joining them at the ice-cream parlour.

"Just a few things, honey" she explained with a forced smile, "Grown up things, that you really don’t need to worry about" she promised him, leaning down and kissing his forehead, "Now you go with Grandpa Giles and enjoy your ice-cream and I’ll see you in a couple of hours when you get back, okay?" she said, shooting her father a grateful look.

All three adults were quite relieved when Michael agreed to the suggestion and went with Giles to get into the car to leave. Buffy sighed deeply and ran her hands over her face and back through her hair. She felt emotionally exhausted already and yet so much was still to come.

"I guess you should come inside" she said, leading the way to the front door and Spike followed. They hung their coats in the hall and went through to the main living room where Buffy took one end of the couch and Spike the other, both not really knowing where they were supposed to begin with all this.

"’S a nice place you got here" he said after a while, "Very... big" he settled on eventually, unable to think of a more fitting adjective. The style was hardly to his taste, bit too posh.

"It’s all Giles’ really" Buffy shrugged, "It’s taking a while for it to feel like home"

Spike frowned a little as he looked at her.

"You call your father Giles?" he checked, head tilting to one side as he stared and waited for answer.

Buffy sighed, shifting in her seat so she was sideways on the couch and facing the man she was speaking to.

"Guess this is as good a place as any to start" she decided, as she began her narrative, "I was brought up in Sunnydale, California, by Joyce and Hank Summers" she said, noticing a little flash of realisation in his eyes as he realised that was why she’d given her name the way she had before, and why no-one around here knew her by it, "Joyce was my Mom but Hank wasn’t really my Dad, Giles was. Thing was, Mom’s parents weren’t great fans of Giles and when he had to leave the country and they realised Mom was pregnant they convinced her she should marry Hank instead and hid all the letters Giles tries to send"

"Wow" was all Spike could find to say, "So, how come you’re here now with Giles playin’ Daddy dearest?" he asked, "I mean, he didn’t know you existed and I’m guessing your parents weren’t forthcoming with the info that your Mum got with child out of wedlock and all that rot?"

"Giles came to Sunnydale looking for my Mom" Buffy continued to explain, "It was three weeks after I met you, he came and asked me if I knew where he could find Joyce Potter... and I had to tell him she was dead" she said sadly, looking down at her hands where they fidgeted in her lap.

"I’m sorry, luv" Spike said sympathetically, "Lost my own Mum a few years back, I know how hard that is" he said as his hand landed on hers, squeezing her fingers gently.

They shared a slight smile before she continued, glad that his hand never left hers.

"We got talking about things, my age came up and a little calculating later Giles realised he could be my father" she explained, "Quick call to my Dad, well, Hank, and he told me it was true. I wasn’t Buffy Summers after all, at least not biologically, I was Giles’ daughter"

Spike looked at her for a long moment before he spoke.

"So, what?" he shook his head not understanding, "You just thought ‘hey I know, I’ll pack my bags and emigrate to England with a father I just met’?" he frowned not getting it at all, or where her son fitted in to all this.

"Not even close to that simple" she laughed humourlessly, pulling her hand out of his and getting to her feet.

Buffy turned her back on Spike as she stared out of the window. The puffy white clouds were increasing in number and size and turning grey in patches. She absently hoped Giles and Michael wouldn’t get caught in a downpour in town.

"Have you ever been in love, Spike?" she asked suddenly, startling him a bit.

"I dunno" he told her back since she seemed to have no intention in turning around, "Thought I was once but... am I supposed to ask why you wanna know?" he checked, "Or make some sort of declaration to you maybe?" he asked, trying not to let any kind of tone slip into his voice. Love was a big word to bandying around at this point in time. Although he was almost certain that some part of the jumble of feelings he had towards Buffy was indeed love, he didn’t yet understand how or why he was feeling it, so he didn’t fancy shooting off at the mouth about it right this second.

Buffy’s pained laughter dragged him from his thoughts and he hated to see tear tracks on her cheeks when she finally turned around.

"I thought I was in love once" she told him, replaying too many painful memories in her mind, "I was fifteen and he meant everything to me" she laughed at herself or how stupid she’d been, "By the time we left High School, I already knew I was pregnant and I didn’t mind at all when his parents and my Mom expected us to get married right away... it was all I’d wanted for so long but, but I guess it wasn’t what Angel wanted" she cried openly and Spike couldn’t bear to see it. He was up from the couch in seconds and pulling the sobbing woman into his arms. Buffy clung to him, letting years of pain spill out of her as he held her, making soothing sounds and rubbing her back.

When it seemed it was going to take a while for her to calm down, Spike manoeuvred them both back to the couch and sat down with her very close to him. She refused to let go and continued to cry into his chest as he assured her it was all okay now and rocked her gently like a child.

It was a good half hour before she was calm and he dared to really speak to her.

"Buffy, pet" he said gently, hand still rubbing her back soothingly, "I’m so sorry if I upset you, made you think about things you’d rather not"

"It’s not your fault" she said, her voice rough from crying and her words muffled since she still refused to bring her head out from under his chin, "Angel just didn’t love me enough" she sniffed, "He was insanely jealous of our son, and the more jealous he got the more he drank. The more he drank the more I hated him and spent time with Michael away from him. It was a vicious circle, and I just couldn’t take it anymore" she fought hard not to cry anymore as she finally showed her face, cheeks red and blotchy and smeared with mascara from her eyes.

"That was why you slept with me" Spike guessed, looking away from her as pain ripped through him somehow in the region of his heart. What he’d felt for Buffy was real, but it seemed her own feelings were less so. Their night together was revenge on her husband, or sanctuary from his nasty, drunken ways, nothing more, "You used me" Spike said sadly as he forced himself to look at her once again.

"No" came Buffy’s firm answer, "No, it wasn’t like that" she assured him.

"Then what was it like, luv?" he asked her, wishing she’d explain since she seemed to understand that which alluded him, "I’m really not keeping up with this rollercoaster too well" he admitted.

"I’m not denying what we did was an escape from my life with Angel" she said, looking down at her lap and then back up at Spike, "but I didn’t set out to cheat on him, or to use anybody" she swore, "You just... Something happened when you kissed me, and when we..." she tried to explain, but found it almost impossible to put all that she felt into real words, "It was like every romance novel I ever read, every fantasy I ever had, and something else entirely that I can’t even begin to tell you" she admitted, blushing deeply when she realised exactly what she’d said. The fact that Spike’s bright blue eyes were boring into her wasn’t helping either.

"Please stop doing that" she begged him, trying to look away but finding herself contsantly drawn back to his eyes.

"I’m not doing anything" Spike denied, genuinely meaning it. He was too busy trying to take in all that she was telling him, as well as all that she’d previously said, to be doing anything else!

"You are so doing something!" Buffy yelled as she got to her feet and paced the room, "You’re doing whatever you were doing in that Club two months ago!" she continued to shout, "You’re looking at me, and, and you’re being majorly attractive and making me think all... non-straight!" she yelled frustratedly as she went up and down the room twice more, wiping her face clean of tears and make-up as she went.

On her final length of the room she was a little startled to find Spike had risen from the couch and was standing right where she planned on walking. Her body was pressed against his before she’d even realised what had happened and his intense gaze rooted her to the spot.

"How am I supposed to explain anything to you" Buffy said breathlessly, "if you’re going to keep making me want you so much?" she asked, her words the final encouragement Spike needed to claim her lips with his own. One strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her body flush to his as his other hand went into her hair. God he wanted her, needed to be with her this way again, and she didn’t seem to be protesting at all so far.

It was insane, they both knew it, as they moved to the couch and he gently eased her down onto the cushions. It wouldn’t be the first time their passion had over taken their good sense, but they had no alcohol to blame this time. This was fuelled by their pure want for each other alone, despite the fact they both knew this was not the most sensible thing to be doing right now. Such ideas did not last long as all rational thought left their minds and they travelled to heaven and back together once again.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 12

The complete absence of thought that comes with the pleasure of making love as she and Spike had just done, did not last long enough for Buffy. As they lay naked together on the couch, covered modestly by the throw, his arms holding her back to his chest so she didn’t slip away, a million thoughts went rushing through Buffy’s head. The speed with which they travelled made her feel quite sick. She had no idea what the hell she’d been thinking when she’d let this happen again. She and William Armstrong had now made love twice and still she really knew nothing concrete about him, barring his full name, job title, and how he lost his last girlfriend to another woman! Still, what they’d just done was indescribably perfect to Buffy and she really didn’t regret a second of it.

"What’re you thinkin’ pet?" Spike asked her as he softly kissed her neck and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"That was... beautiful" she admitted, glad she had her back to him really since she was fairly certain she blushed.

"Not gonna argue with that, luv" she was glad to hear her lover reply, "God, Buffy, I can’t find words to tell you what you do to me" Spike said as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulder, his hands running over her skin and making her shudder involuntarily. She turned in his arms and their lips met once again, re-igniting their passion. As wonderful as it felt, Buffy pulled away.

"Don’t, Spike" she said sadly, "Were supposed to be talking"

"I know" he sighed, making himself be still and finding it almost impossible, "’S not my fault you’re so damn sexy" he pointed out, "Or that you seem to find me equally as bloody irrisistable"

"I didn’t say it was anyone’s fault" Buffy shook her head as she got up from the couch, keeping the throw wrapped around her. Of course it hadn’t occurred to her she’d left Spike lying naked on the couch and apparently he didn’t care at all.

"Are you going to get dressed?" Buffy asked as she glanced awkwardly at him and set about picking up her own clothes from the floor, never letting go of the throw that covered her body.

"S’pose so" Spike conceded, though he was frowning as he shifted to a sitting position on the couch and reached across for his jeans. Buffy had her back to him as she finally let go of the throw and pulled on her underwear and then the rest of her clothes. From across the room he could see she was shaking, in fact he was fairly certain she was crying.

"Er, pet?" he said as he moved towards her and realised he’d been right and she was sobbing her heart out, "Buffy, I’m sorry" he said gently as he put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around, "If I hurt you or..."

"You didn’t" she sniffed as she looked at him, "I just... I don’t know where to start" she admitted, "I can’t make sense of any of this, I mean, I don’t even know you, not really, but..."

"But I make you feel things" Spike finished for her, "Things you can’t explain? I know it’s true, Buffy, you do the same to me" he told her, hands running up and down her arms and they stood looking at each other. Whilst she was fully clothed again now he’d only got as far as his jeans and was bare-chested before her.

"Spike" she sighed, looking away, "I have things I have to say to you" she told him, "One thing in particular, and it scares the hell out of me"

"Why?" he wanted to know, his hand gong to her face and urging her to look at him again, "Why should you be afraid to tell me anything, luv?"

"Because I never felt like this about anyone before" she told him solemnly, "Not even the man I married, and it scares me that I’m going to lose you from my life so soon after I just found you" she said shakily as she clung to him.

"Buffy" he sighed, "Sweetheart, I’m tryin’ to make it clear to you, that I don’t want to go anywhere, that I have feelings for you that I can’t explain but that I definitely want to understand" he smiled, "I’m drowning in you, Summers, I’m drowning and I don’t want to be saved. Scares me a bit too, if I’m honest" he told her, "but isn’t that all part of it?"

"Maybe" Buffy admitted, "but this needs to be more than just thrill-seekage" she told him firmly, as she took a deep breath, "Spike, I..." she was seconds away from confessing the news of her pregnancy when a car pulled onto the gravel drive and made her jump. It had to be Giles, she was certain, especially when she heard her son’s voice singing a TV commercial jingle way too loudly as he was prone to do.

"Damn" Buffy cursed as she pulled away from Spike and grabbed his T-shirt throwing it at him, "Please, get dressed" she urged him, "Michael cannot know what we did"

Spike nodded as he pulled his top over his head and forced is feet into his boots at the same time. By the time Giles and Michael came into the room, Spike was sitting casually on the couch and Buffy was in the chair to one side. They might’ve been doing nothing less innocent than talking the whole time.

"Mommy!" the little boy yelled delightedly as he ran at her for a hug.

"Hey sweetie" Buffy smiled as she put her arms around her son and held him tight, "You enjoy your ice-cream?"

"Uh-huh" Michael nodded excitedly as he pulled away and looked at her then Spike, "I had my favourite, double chocolate fudge brownie"

"That’s nice" Buffy smiled, "And what did Grandpa Giles have?" she asked her father, almost acting as if Spike wasn’t present in the room at all.

"Er, just vanilla" Giles smiled wryly, "I’m really not a fan of all these flavours and bits and pieces in my dessert. It seems so very... well, if you’ll pardon me Buffy, it does seem very American to me"

Buffy smiled at that.

"It’s not like I’m gonna be offended, Giles" she told him, not noticing that Michael was now standing a foot away from Spike and looking at him strangely.

"What’s up, mate?" the bleached blond asked after a moment and the little boy frowned.

"How come your tag is on the outside and at the front?" he asked, gesturing towards the top of Spike’s T-shirt where the little sewn in label was visible, since he’d apparently put that particular piece of clothing on both backwards and inside out in his hurry.

Buffy closed her eyes and expelled a breath, her hands going up to cover her face momentarily. Giles glanced between his daughter and her new friend, guessing what had happened between them, indeed now that he looked at her he could see that Buffy was somewhat dishevelled.

"Really Michael, I’m sure that’s none of our business" Giles said quickly, "Er, why don’t you run upstairs and pick out a board game you might like to play whilst your mother and I see Mr Armstrong out"

"Yay! A game!" Michael grinned before galloping off to his room and Spike turned to Giles.

"Thanks for that" he said, immediately pulling his top off and fixing it so he was wearing it the right way a moment later.

"I confess I did nothing to deliberately help you" the older man snapped, getting to his feet, grabbing up Spike’s coat and holding it out to him, "I do not wish my grandson or my daughter to be in any sort of distress" he said sternly, "Which is why I must ask you to leave"

"Buffy?" Spike frowned as he got to his feet and took his leather coat from Giles, "For God sake, luv, why are you lettin’ him think I’m the bad guy here? I did nothing to upset them, mate" he said as he turned from her to her father, "I care about Buffy, a lot"

"Yes, yes, I dare say you do" Giles said, waving the other man’s words away with his hand, "At this point in time I have no use for your explanations or your declarations, I wish you simply to leave my home"

"I’ll go if it’s what Buffy wants" Spike said, eyes hardening as he looked over at Giles. He’d done nothing wrong, not taken advantage or anything, after all Buffy had initiated what they’d done today, and hadn’t he saved little Michael’s life just a few hours ago? Not that he was looking for a reward or whatever for such an act but he was not going to be treated like some sort of nasty soddin’ git when he’d done nothing wrong.

"I need you to go now" Buffy said quietly as she glanced up at him, "I’m sorry, but I just do"

As much as it pained Spike he would do as she asked. He’d pretty much do anything she ever asked of him, walk over hot coals, bungee jump without the cord, it wouldn’t matter, he was falling for her so hard and fast he couldn’t help himself.

"Lady wants me to go, I’ll go" he said, looking first at her then at Giles.

"I’ll walk you to the door" Buffy said as she got to her feet, smiling slightly at Giles before leading Spike to the front entrance, "Today didn’t exactly go how I planned" she laughed nervously, hugging herself as she watched him pull his coat on.

"Me either" he agreed as he turned to look at her, "but Buffy, everything that’s happened between us, I don’t regret a second of it" Spike assured her, "I never expected to see you again after that night" he told her honestly as he stood closely in front of her and looked down into her eyes, "Blew me away seein’ you again, and I’m not denying you bein’ married and havin’ a kid came as a bit of a shock but... I still want to know you, I still want to find out whatever the hell this is between us"

Buffy looked up at him with years in her eyes as she put a hand to his cheek.

"I want to find out too" she admitted, "We seriously need to talk so maybe next time we meet somewhere public?" she suggested with a smile, "Might make us concentrate on the actual talking part of a conversation y’know?"

Spike smirked at that, putting his hand on hers, turning it to his lips and kissing her palm.

"Sounds like a plan, pet" he told her, "I’m in the book, so you call me whenever you want me, right?"

"Okay" Buffy nodded, reaching up to kiss him. What should have been a simple touch of lips turned into something much deeper in seconds and Spike had to force himself to pull away before they got into something they shouldn’t right now.

"I’ll call you" Buffy promised as they finally parted and the bleached blond she really hardly knew left the house.

Turning to lean her back against the door, she exhaled and tried to be calm. The things Spike could do to her, it was almost scary, but thrilling at the same time. Still, it wasn’t just passion, it went deeper than that somehow, despite the fact they knew so little about each other’s real lives.

"Mommy!" Michael called from the living room and Buffy smiled as she pushed away from the door and yelled back that she was just coming. Real life might be complicated and how she was going to fit Spike and a new baby into it she wasn’t entirely sure yet, but for now she was going to be with her father and her son, and play a game and laugh and be normal. Tonight and tomorrow the worries of the world could descend upon her again, as well as memories and dreams of Spike that would make the whole world seem a little brighter.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 13

Sunday passed in a strange kind of blur for Buffy. Michael didn’t seem to want to leave her side for more than a moment and she wondered if it were to do with the almost-accident from the day before scaring him, or something else. What if he’d seen more than she thought at the hospital when she and Spike had been getting close, Buffy thought, what if he’d worked out something more than talking had occurred when he and Giles had been out? Buffy mentally slapped herself for being such an idiot. Her son was smart but he was only six years old, there was no way he could possibly know what was happening between his mother and Spike, and boy was Buffy glad about that.

Giles of course was different, he was an adult and he knew the ways of the world. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that Spike and Buffy had not been using their tongues for a conversation of the wordy kind on Saturday afternoon, and though he didn’t say anything about it, Buffy knew he didn’t approve.

It was late Sunday when the pressure of not talking about the situation finally got to her so much she cracked. Michael was tucked up in bed and finally asleep, leaving his mother and grandfather in the living room watching an old movie. As it ended and Giles flipped off the TV, Buffy spoke.

"I know that you know" she said, confusing her father slightly, "and I know you don’t approve... about me and Spike"

"Ah" Giles nodded in understanding, "Yes, well, you are a grown woman Buffy, what you do and with whom is entirely your own, well, affair" he said, suddenly realising how accurate that particular phrase was. Though he disliked Angel intensely, in the eyes of the law Buffy was cheating on her husband, and it was not something Giles entirely condoned.

"I know it’s crazy" his daughter sighed, "I know I’m probably so stupid for letting this random guy into my life, he could be anybody, Giles" she admitted, "but the fact is, he isn’t. He’s not just a somebody or an anybody... he’s the man I love" she said quietly, realising it was the first time she’d fully admitted that, even to herself.

"Buffy, my dear" Giles shook his head as he reached to out a hand over hers, "I do understand the strong feelings you harbour for this man" he assured her, "I was young once you know, and simple physical attraction can be misinterpreted greatly over time..."

"Giles" Buffy interrupted, shaking her head, "This is not fantasy, it’s not just infatuation or whatever either" she told him firmly, "I know that it’s crazy, I’m not denying that, but I am in love with Spike"

Her father did not know what to say or think. She was his daughter, and though he hadn’t known about her for a very long time, in the few short months he had known of her and Michael too, he’d accepted them as his family so easily and wanted nothing but to protect them and ensure they were happy. It seemed highly unlikely to him that Spike and Buffy could be in love as she seemed to think, he rather fancied she thought she loved him and that he was perhaps playing along for sexual gain. That could only ever end in tears and heartache and his girl had suffered enough already.

"Buffy, I do see why you might think that" he said, begging her to understand what he was saying to her, "but you don’t know this Spike person, as you say it is rather strange to suddenly decide you’re in love, especially when his feelings have yet to be discussed"

"I know" his daughter sighed, "but Giles, he doesn’t have to say it, neither of us have said the words, but it’s just there" she said, almost wishing she could make herself heard and fully understood, but finding it so difficult to put into words what she meant to say. It was then something occurred to her.

"Giles, how long did you know my Mom?" she asked, and he frowned slightly at the question, not really understanding where it had suddenly come from,. A quick calculation led him to his answer.

"Buffy that was entirely different" he pointed out but she shook her head.

"I didn’t ask about differences" she reminded him, "I asked how long you knew her"

Giles sighed before saying what she already knew.

"In total, one month, before I was forced to return to England" he admitted, removing his glasses and polishing them vigorously, "but Buffy, I spent almost the entirety of that month in your mother’s company, getting to know her, spending time just talking and..."

"And it doesn’t make a difference" Buffy shook her head as she interrupted her father once again, "You know it doesn’t. A person doesn’t just sleep with another person after four weeks of knowing them without a reason, and you told me yourself you loved my Mom" she reminded him.

"Indeed I did" Giles smiled at the memory of dear Joyce, "From the very first moment I laid eyes on her I believe I was in love"

He started when he realised what he’d just confessed and he looked at Buffy who smiled slightly at her triumph.

"Love at first sight" she said quietly, "I’m not saying that’s what it was with me and Spike, maybe, but I don’t know" she shrugged, "What I do know is that I love him now, Giles. I love him, and I think he loves me"

Her father looked at her for a long moment before smiling and nodding his head.

"If that be the case, my dear" he told her, "I only hope you’re right, that he does indeed love you and that he can prove he deserves you"

"What’s to deserve?" Buffy choked on a laugh and a sob that came out together, "I’m so scared, Giles" she admitted, "I wanna believe he loves me but... I’m so scared that when I tell him about the baby he’ll..."

"He’ll run away?" Giles guessed what the rest of her sentence would’ve been had she been able to form the words. She nodded as he pulled her into a hug and held her a she cried. It was one thing she’d done far too much of lately in his opinion, but her hormones weren’t helping and with one stressful thing after another being thrown in her path, it was a little wonder she spent much of her time in tears.

"Though I cannot guarantee Spike will respond positively to your news, my dear" he said, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his shoulder, "I do assure you that I shall keep my word. You and Michael and your new child are my family and I shall look after you all to the very best of my ability, truly I shall"

"I know" Buffy sniffed as she finally pulled away, trying to wipe the tears from her face and not shed too many more, "and I’m so grateful to you, I am... but it doesn’t change how much I love Spike, and how much it’ll break my heart if I lose him now"

Giles sighed, feeling wretched for his daughter who had come to mean so much to him and in such a short time. It was so very clear that Buffy’s feelings for Spike ran as deep as any emotion could, but the young man in question, Giles did not know him at all and was terribly concerned that he may not feel the same.

Being a man himself he knew how easy it was for them to lead on the fairer sex, make them believe they were in love when it was really all about the physical side of things. Not that Giles himself had committed such a heinous act as to trick a woman for sex, but he knew of many who had, and there had been several occasions when he might easily have taken advantage, had he been the type to do so.

"I’m going to have to talk to him" Buffy said suddenly, blowing her nose on a tissue, "I have to do it fast too, not least because he’s going to notice the situation before I tell him soon" she said, one hand going subconsciously to her stomach as she said it. She was two months pregnant now, fast approaching the point where there was no turning back even if she wanted too. If Spike walked away from her now, not wanting to be tied to her and Michael, as well as the baby, Buffy doubted she could abort her pregnancy even then. She’d survive, of course she would, with Giles’ help it wouldn’t be at all difficult to live comfortably as she did now. The problem would be that her heart would be broken into so many pieces, it would probably never heal again.

"Mommy!" Michael repeated loudly by Buffy’s ear as he bounced on her bed.

It was Monday morning and the blonde had only managed to fall asleep about an hour ago, after so much time lying awake thinking about Spike, Michael, Angel, Giles, the baby that grew inside her, and the whole mixed up situation that she was in right now.

"Mommy! It’s time to get up!" Michael told her, shaking her til she opened her eyes and groaned.

"Michael, sweetie, it’s still early" she complained as she looked at him.

"Nuh-uh" he protested, shaking his head, "It’s eight thirty" he told her, "Grandpa Giles was gonna take me to school but he’s been talking on the phone an awful long time" he explained, though the only real part of the sentence Buffy took in was the fact it was eight thirty. She had less than a half hour to get Michael to the school that was ten minutes drive away, and she was still in her night-shirt and half asleep.

"Damn" she cursed under her breath as she leapt out of bed, immediately sitting down on the edge again as her head spun furiously. She blamed lack of sleep and getting up too fast, as well as her pregnancy for the symptoms she had as a wave of nausea hit her. She so didn’t need morning sickness to kick in today.

"Michael, honey" she said turning to her son and helping him scramble down off the bed, "Go back to your room, get your bag, and put on your shoes, okay?"

"Yes, Mommy" he replied as he bolted from the room, making engine noises like a car as he zoomed away.

With a deep breath Buffy stood up again and ignored the urge to vomit as she found some clothes to wear. There was no time to shower or wash her hair right now, so she sprayed on deodorant and ran a brush through her hair as quickly as she could before pulling it up into a sloppy ponytail. It wasn’t like she was going to see anyone important between here and the school, she thought, as she pulled on her sweatpants and an old T-shirt.

"Michael!" she called down the hallway and obediently the boy appeared with his shoes on and his bag in his hands, "Come on, let’s go" she said, grabbing his hand and hurrying down the stairs. Giles was just coming out of the kitchen with his grandson’s lunch in his hand.

"Oh Buffy, I’m so terribly sorry" he apologised, "I was quite prepared to get Michael ready for school and take him there indeed I’d written you a note and everything, but a very important contact of mine called and I couldn’t just..."

"It’s okay, Giles, really" Buffy forced a smile, just wanting to get Michael to school and herself home again before she was spectacularly ill, "I’ve got it covered, thanks for dealing with everything else" she called as she grabbed her jacket, got Michael into his and disappeared out of the door.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Michael asked as she drove him to school, her hand shaking slightly and her face pale.

"Sure I am" she forced a smile, glancing at him before concentrating on the road ahead once again.

Moments later Buffy parked the car in the school parking lot and Michael unclipped his seat belt. She leant across to kiss his forehead and say goodbye before the little boy scrambled from the car and ran to join his friends. Buffy smiled as she watched them head into the building, and even more so when her baby turned and waved to her one more time.

Her baby. The words stuck in her head and she glanced down at the almost non-existent bump at her stomach. Though it was doubtful anyone else would notice the tiny difference in the shape of her body, Buffy knew he or she was there, if nothing else the nausea kept on reminding her about it.

The overly warm air in the car wasn’t helping and the drive home didn’t exactly sound appealing at this precise moment, so Buffy decided to get out of the car and get a breath of fresh air. There was a park just across the road from the school where she could sit for a little while before she headed home.

It was strangely mild for a September day in England, especially since it was so early in the day, but Buffy was glad of the light breeze that blew the loose strands of hair out of her face where she hadn’t quite got all of her locks tied back. Her eyes shut of their own accord as Buffy leaned back on the bench, enjoying the fact that if she took deep breaths and concentrated she could push away all the ill feelings she was getting today.

"Bloody hell" she heard a familiar voice say, "Not exactly how I planned on seeing you again pet, but I’m not about to complain"

Buffy opened her eyes and quickly turned her head to see Spike standing not three feet away, staring at her and grinning like an idiot. So many thoughts and feelings ran through her; the fact he was looking particularly gorgeous for this time of the morning did not escape her notice, and the thought of how terrible she must look made her feel awful, but the main feeling that overrode all others was how terribly sick she was feeling again all of a sudden.

"Spike..." was all she managed to say before her body convulsed and she threw up spectacularly at his feet.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 14

Buffy couldn’t remember ever feeling this terrible. Not only had she just spent the last five minutes puking her guts up, but she knew she must look absolutely awful and the man she loved was standing right there staring at her. Least he had been til a second ago, now he was sitting beside her, one hand rubbing her back and telling her it was okay, she’d be fine in a minute.

"I’m sorry" she said at last, unable to look at him and obviously not wanting to look down at the mess she’d made.

"’S alright, pet" Spike told her kindly, though he wasn’t too thrilled at having her do that, he loved her enough to think she was beautiful no matter what. He was just worried about how she’d got into such a state as this.

"We should probably get you to a doctor" he said, his arm still around her as she leant her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands.

"No!" she said, whipping her head round too suddenly and feeling horrible again, "I..I just need to walk, and breathe..." Buffy said absently as she got up and took a couple of steps away.

"Y’know a more suspicious bloke might think you were tryin’ to get away from me" Spike told her as he to got up, crossed behind the back of the bench and stood in front of her. She wouldn’t look at him.

"Buffy, luv" he said, starting to get worried now as his hands went to the top of her arms and he tried to see her face, "Talk to me, pet" he urged her, "You’re startin’ to worry me here"

She surprised him slightly by bursting into tears and Spike frowned as he pulled her into a hug. This morning was not going at all how he’d planned. It was five a.m. when he’d woken up, a head full of thoughts all related to Buffy and it was clear he was not going to get back to sleep any time soon. He was out of bed by six despite the fact he didn’t have a class to teach until lunchtime and so he’d got himself showered and dressed and gone out for a walk to think things through and make sense of his life.

The last few weeks had been more than a little crazy. Drusilla, who he’d dated for over a year, had left him, and for a woman no less! He’d fallen into the arms of Buffy, and into bed with her for just one night of passion, after which he believed he would never see her again, despite the fact he wanted to. Fast forward a few weeks, a torturous time as he tried to put Buffy Summers out of his head and had failed miserably, and here she was again, finally back in his life. That’s when things got even more complicated.

Buffy had a husband, and whilst he could be written off as a minor complication, their son was an entirely different matter. Angel was a dark figure somewhere across the sea that barely counted for anything, whilst Michael was flesh and bone and right there in the middle of everything. Spike couldn’t imagine being six years old and the envy of his own father, to the point where his mother would no longer take the strain and walked away. The poor kid had been through a lot it seemed and as much as Spike would like to imagine a happy ever after with him and Buffy riding off into the sunset somehow, it was never going to be so simple.

Their dream ending had to make room for another man’s child, and that was a whole boatload of manly responsibility to come flying Spike’s way. If he had Buffy in his life, he had Michael too, and that was if they even wanted him. He wanted her, of that he was certain. When they made love it was exactly that, no matter how insane it seemed after the short time they’d known each other. Spike knew he was on some level, completely head over heels in love with Buffy Summers and if he hadn’t been sure five minutes ago he certainly was now as he held her in his arms and she cried like she’d never stop.

God what he wouldn’t give to be able to take all her pain away, to be able to ensure she never cried another tear, never wanted for a single thing. He wanted to be with her so badly it almost physically hurt, and he wanted her to know all that right now, but it wasn’t the time or place for such declarations. She was clearly unwell and distressed about something and that was the first thing he needed to figure out.

"Sweetheart, I need you to tell me what’s wrong" he said gently as he prised her body away from his and tried to see her face which was by now all tear stained and blotchy from crying so much, "Do I need to get you to a doctor or what?" he checked.

"No" she assured him, in a small voice as she shook her head, "I’m okay"

Spike scoffed at that.

"I’d hardly say throwing your guts up and then bawling all over me really classes as okay, luv" he told her with a look, and Buffy glanced away.

"It is okay" she repeated, "I am, I just... God" she sighed, "This is so not how this was supposed to be" she told him sadly, "I had a speech, several actually I was still trying to choose, and I wanted there to be a restaurant maybe or somewhere where you couldn’t leave without making a scene because, I so don’t want you to take this badly and I need time to explain, I..."

"Buffy" Spike interrupted her, "You’re babbling like a brook here, luv, and not making a whole lot of sense. Now why don’t you take a deep breath and start over, cos no matter what it is I can handle it, alright?" he told her and she nodded slightly, taking a breath in and letting it out again.

"Spike" she said, physically shaking, "I... I’m pregnant" she finally admitted, feeling as though the only thing now holding her up was the anticipation of his reply to that statement. Good or bad she had to know, and probably sooner was better. If he was going to walk away he might break her heart less now than he would later, although she doubted she’d fair too well either way.

"Bugger me" Spike gasped, looking completely stunned. Of course as his mind spun back over the events leading up to the conversation, he wondered how he’d been so stupid as not to notice she was probably having a baby, it was the most likely explanation, but it was still the last thing he’d been expecting her to say.

"Is that all you have to say?" Buffy asked, still unsure as to whether he was taking this in a positive or negative way.

"Uh, no" Spike said, shaking his head and trying to make some sort of coherent sentence form within his mind, "I, I just don’t... bloody hell, luv, how did this happen?" he asked and Buffy smiled in spite of herself.

"You want a diagram?" she asked and he rolled his eyes.

"No" he told her with a look, "Obviously I get how, but... bloody hell" he repeated, and Buffy really thought he was going to run away screaming any second when suddenly he grinned like an idiot and pulled her tight to him, "Oh God, Buffy, this is fantastic" he told her and she looked stunned as she pulled away.

"It is?" she checked, "I mean, you get what this means, right?" she asked him, "I’m having a baby. Your baby. We’re going to be parents to a child that’s inside me"

"I get the concept, luv" he assured her, "and I know it’s not entirely practical but, soddin’ hell Buffy, I still love the idea... in case it wasn’t obvious already, I love you" he told her sincerely and it was all she could do not to start crying all over again.

"I love you too" she admitted in a small voice, "So much, Spike, you have no idea"

He moved to kiss her then but she backed away, causing a strange look of confusion and hurt to appear on his face.

"I can’t kiss you" she told him firmly, "I’d love to but... well there are issues with my breath and all" she admitted, reminding him how ill she’d been a while ago.

"Here" he said, smirking as he dug in his pocket, pulled out a packet of chewing gum and threw it at her, "Make use of that as quick as you like, before the pressure gets to me and I just snog you anyway" he told her with a smile.

His blue eyes sparkled at her, so full of the love he professed to feel. It was more than obvious he meant it, most especially because he was still standing here, moments after she’d told him she was having his child. The fact he was actually pleased about it was a miracle by itself!

"I can’t believe you’re happy about this" she said, chewing on her gum, and standing a very deliberate two or three feet back from Spike for now, "I mean, we barely know each other, and I’m having your baby. I have Michael to think of and..."

"Buffy" he interrupted, "Look, I know it’s not gonna be a walk in the park, I understand that, I’m not completely stupid" he pointed out, "but I never felt like this about anyone before in my whole life. So long as I can be with you somehow I don’t care how tough it gets, I can handle it... if you can"

She nodded at that, more tears springing to her eyes.

"I think I can" she agreed, "At least, I wanna try. I have to be with you Spike, any way that I can. I love you so much... You wanna kiss me now?" she asked shyly and she barely had time to breathe before he was there, right in front of her, his arms around her body as his lips claimed hers and he took her breath away in the most beautiful way possible.

"You make me feel like a stupid teenager" Spike told her when they parted for air, "You fill my head, all the bloody time, and when I’m with you I can’t think straight..." he stopped talking when he realised she was frowning, "What’s up, pet?" he checked.

"You stole my gum!" she caused, making him laugh out loud as he realised she was right, somewhere in amongst their kissing her gum had found it’s way into his mouth.

"Well, if you want it, pet" he smirked, "You’ll just have to take it back now, won’t you?"

"I guess I will" she told him as she rose admirably to the challenge.

It was a while later as the two were walking hand in hand through the park that Buffy started to laugh. Spike asked what was so amusing and when she’d caught her breath enough to answer she explained.

"I was just thinking is all" she smiled, "I had all these daydreams and stuff about seeing you again" she admitted, ducking her head down, really wishing her hair was loose so she could hide behind it right now, "The first time I see you I pass out, next time you save my son’s life and, well, we didn’t so much talk as... well, y’know" she blushed, "and today I practically throw up all over you, cry like a baby and we finally admit we love each other. It’s all kinda lacking the romance" she said, glancing over at Spike who grinned.

"Wouldn’t say that, pet" he said, squeezing her hand in his as they stopped walking and he faced her, "Okay so whoever’s in charge of fate and all that clearly has a twisted sense of humour where you and me are concerned, but as far as romance goes, didn’t you once tell me our first night together was like something out of a romance novel?" he reminded her.

"I did" she nodded, "It was. Nobody ever wanted me so much, nobody ever made me feel like that. You changed my life" she said softly putting a hand to his cheek.

"You changed mine" he replied in kind, "You’re still changing it, every minute I’m with you, it’s like the world’s a whole different place, a better place"

"Same here" she nodded, pushing back more tears.

"That works out nicely then" Spike smiled as he kissed her hand, then leaned in to puts his lips to hers once again.

"Oh bugger" he said suddenly, pulling away and Buffy made a little sound of annoyance at the loss of contact, "I’m sorry, luv" he apologised, "Just realised, I ought to be getting home, get a change of clothes and such. I’m teaching a class in less than half an hour" he told her.

"My God, I had no idea we’d been out here so long" Buffy gasped as she got hold of his wrist and read the time from the watch there.

He walked her back to where her car waited for her, kissing her soundly before she got into the vehicle. She wound the window down almost as soon as she’d closed the door.

"It’s crazy" she shook her head, "I have this awful feeling that if I drive away now... well, what if that’s it? What if something happens and I never see you again" she said, suddenly looking so young and afraid. Spike leaned in through the open window to kiss her again.

"Now you listen to me Buffy Summers" he said firmly, looking her right in the eyes, "I love you. Love you more than I knew I could love anyone, and yeah, it’s gonna be bloody hard work figuring out this situation we’ve got ourselves into, I’m not denying that" he admitted, "You and me have to get to know each other better, your Dad’s not my biggest fan, and then there’s your boy Michael, and our little one on the way..." his voice trailed away as he realised there really was a long list of complications involved, but when his eyes met hers again, he knew it didn’t matter, "but we will make this work Buffy, I know that. I believe it"

"I do too" she smiled bravely, "Somehow I think maybe I knew from the first night I met you that you’d change my life, and as scary as it is, I’m really glad you did"

"Makes two of us, pet" Spike smiled back at her, claiming one more kiss before they really did have to part. Both of them knew it would not be long before they saw each other again.

To Be Continued...
 

Chapter 15

"Dad, could you get that!" Buffy called from the kitchen where she was making a sandwich. It was past eight and she was attempting to make sandwiches for Michael’s lunch, a task made more awkward than it might be by the large bump where her flat and toned stomach used to be.

She was now over eight months pregnant and just about ready to burst, or so she thought. The doctors assured her she had three weeks to go, and Buffy knew it was true, but still it felt as if the whole pregnancy thing should soon be over. She was bored of being fat and aching all the time, the only comfort being that the nausea was over and the food cravings were almost gone too.

"Hello, luv" Spike smiled as he came into the kitchen. Clearly it had been him at the front door a moment ago.

"Hey" Buffy sighed, so pleased to see him, though so self conscious about how she looked, even now.

Over the past months, Spike and Buffy had got to know each other the way they perhaps should have done in the first place. Giles had said the order in which they had done things was very much putting the cart before the horse, to which Buffy had replied that phrase was way too British for her to understand, but of it meant her and Spike had done things in an unconventional way, did it really matter?

Now they were as much a couple in love as any two people could be, to the point where they spent as much time as was possible together and were currently attempting to get a new home organised for themselves before the baby was born. It was within easy walking distance of Giles’ home, which was one thing Buffy insisted upon when she and Spike decided they needed a place of their own together. Spike wasn’t sure at first, as much as he wanted to be with Buffy the idea of being so close to her disapproving father and helping her bring up her son was a little daunting, but he was always up for a challenge. Michael was a sweetheart and Spike would not be intimidated by Giles.

The older man came to respect his daughters lover over time. Despite appearances, he proved himself to be a decent sort of man, and Giles found he could not be angry or opposed to Buffy’s plans to move out of his house. It was a thrill to see the young woman whom he was proud to call his daughter so happy after all he knew she had suffered at the hands of her husband.

"Your Dad let me in" Spike told his love, kissing her cheek, "Asked me to bring these through" he said, handing her three envelopes addressed to her, "Thought I’d do the honours this morning, and take Michael to school"

"That’d be great" Buffy answered absently as she studied one of the letters in her hand. The first two were junk, but this one was postmarked from America and had been signed for on delivery. Clearly it was official in some way and she opened it carefully.

"Somethin’ wrong, pet?" Spike asked worriedly when he noticed her expression. He’d barely glanced at the mail as he’d brought it through and as soon as he’d passed the envelopes to Buffy he’d taken over packing Michael’s lunch into his box for him.

"I don’t know..." the blonde said as she read the printed documents from inside the envelope. When she realised what it was all about she felt sick and her legs threatened to give way beneath her. A hand went to her mouth as she gasped and tears streamed from her eyes.

"Bloody hell" Spike cursed, getting a hold of her before she fell and did herself and their unborn child an injury. He got Buffy onto one of the chairs by the table and asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t have words, handing him the letter as explanation.

"‘For the attention of Mrs Buffy Anne O’Reilly’" he read aloud, a little put off by the full name he wasn’t used to, "We write to inform you...’" he continued, voice trailing away as he realised what it was all about, "Your husband?" he gasped, looking down at Buffy who cried quietly.

"Angel" she whispered, "He’s dead"

Spike wasn’t sure what to say or do. Buffy hardly ever mentioned Michael’s father anymore, except when absolutely necessary. She’d explained the details of her marriage more fully to Spike in many a ‘getting-to-know-you’ conversation that went on for hours and well into the night at times. That was all a while ago now and Angel had scarce got a mention these past couple of months as Buffy and Spike, and indeed Giles and Michael concentrated on the future.

"Huh?" the little boys voice from the door startled both the adults in the room.

"Oh sweetie" Buffy cried, opening her arms to her son who ran straight to her and hugged her as best he could around her bump, "My baby, I love you so much" she told him, kissing the top of his head as she cried into his hair.

Spike felt very much like the third wheel suddenly, and he hated himself for being jealous of a dead man, even a little. Glancing back at the letter in his hand he learned how Buffy’s husband had died. He and a female friend had been driving down the freeway, both of them so drunk they should not be in charge of a vehicle. They swerved across three lanes to avoid an oncoming truck, crashing into the central barrier. The woman died instantly as her neck snapped, Angel himself might have survived his injuries if not for the fact he had spent so much of the past years steeped in alcohol. His liver and kidneys failed, and this coupled with the head trauma and other injuries he’d sustained had lead to his death a few days ago.

"Mommy?" Michael’s voice, pulled Spike free of deep thought as he concentrated on the two, or one might say three people who meant more to him than anyone else in the world, "Did something happen to Little Bit?" the kid asked, his little hand resting on his mother’s stomach.

It was Spike who had taken to calling the unborn child that, and Michael had decided that was the baby’s name. Buffy found it amusing and let them both carry on, though she was determined when the child was born she would give her a proper name and everyone would have to learn to use it.

"No, sweetie" Buffy assured her son, her hand at his hair, "Little Bit is just fine" she promised, "This is... it’s about Daddy"

"My old Daddy?" he asked looking up at Spike who couldn’t help but smile. Though the idea of himself being Michael’s new father had never actually been discussed with the boy, and he still called him only Spike, he behaved like he was the kids Dad and was proud that Michael thought of him as such.

"Yes, mate" he nodded, "Your Dad back in the States" he said, crouching down to the boys level. He knew Buffy was struggling and that left him to break the news to the kid, a nod from his lover told him that was what she wanted and that she was so grateful he’d guessed.

"Is he coming here?" Michael asked, actually shaking with apparent fear, til Spike shook his head.

"No, mate" he told him, "See, thing is, your Dad, he... he had a bit of an accident and, well, he can’t come and see you, Michael" he said, hating himself for possibly breaking the childs heart but knowing he had to tell the truth for everyone’s sake, "He’s gone, mate, gone to a better place"

He hoped the boy understood and it seemed he did as he asked in a quiet voice;

"Like Barney?"

Barney had been a goldfish Spike had managed to win when he’d taken Michael to a visiting fair. It had lived just four days before he’d been found floating upside down at the top of the bowl. As any caring parent would, Buffy told him Barney had gone to a better place now, but that he could no longer come back. He was too little when Joyce had passed away to remember her so the goldfish was the only bereavement he’d really known. Whilst it could not compare to losing a father, it was the only comparison he had right now.

"Yes, Michael, like Barney" Buffy managed to say, knowing it was unfair to make Spike deal with all this, "Are you okay, honey?" she asked as the little boy stood between her and Spike, looking back and forth with an unreadable expression on his little face for a few moments. He looked a if he might be about to say something when Buffy stole the attention from him, a hand going to her stomach as she winced.

"You okay, luv?" Spike asked, getting up and going to her side, "Is it the baby?"

"I... argh!" her would-be sentence became nothing but an exclamation of pain as she flinched once again.

"Mommy?" Michael asked worriedly, looking closer to tears now than he had moments ago on the news of his father’s death.

"It’s okay, sweetie" Buffy tried to comfort him a little as she concentrated mostly on breathing properly, "It’s just, your little sister wants to come out and play" she smiled, glancing up at Spike who’s eyes went wide.

"Bugger me" he exclaimed, "But you’re not due for another three weeks" he reminded her needlessly.

"Tell that to your daughter" Buffy told him, as another contraction came and went.

"Michael, run and tell Grandpa Giles that Mum’s havin’ her baby now" Spike told the boy who ran off immediately as instructed. Though he was worried by his mother’s apparent distress, he would just do as Spike told him, things always turned out okay when his new Daddy took control.

"How about now?" Michael asked Giles as they sat in the hospital waiting room, in anticipation of news about Buffy and the child being born to her and Spike. The proud father was right there in the room, eager to see his daughter come into the world, As much as he loved Michael and treated him as if he were his own, he was thrilled to know that the baby being born now was his blood kin, a physical product of the love he and Buffy shared.

Though Spike had mentioned it in passing to Giles, just in case Michael asked his Grandpa anything about the situation, the news of Angel’s death barely registered amongst the excitement.

"Hey" Spike grinned as he burst into the waiting room all of a sudden, "I’m a bloody father!" he said overly-loudly, and so full of apparent delight.

"Oh good show" Giles congratulated him, actually giving him a hug, though in a manly fashion of course. Michael was quick to get in on the action, wanting to know what was happening.

"Where’s Mommy? Is she okay?" he asked urgently, "Is Little Bit okay?" he checked.

"Yes, mate" Spike assured the boy, picking him clear up off the floor and hugging him tight, "Your Mum’s perfect, Michael, and so is your sister. You can come see them soon"

"Yay!" the boy cried delightedly, before saying he needed the bathroom. Spike sent him off in the right direction, before turning to Giles.

"He mention Angel at all?" he asked him.

"Not once" Giles shook his head, "To be honest I think the news of the baby has taken his father right out of his mind, which is probably a good thing"

"Could be" Spike nodded, "Buffy barely had time to let it sink in before the baby started coming, shock’s probably what set her off" he mused, before his grin returned, "She’s bloody beautiful, Giles, my baby girl. Can’t hardly believe it"

"I have to admit I am quite jealous" the older man sighed, removing his glasses and cleaning them on his handkerchief, "I missed so much with Buffy, and then Michael"

"Well, you won’t be missing a thing with this kid" Spike assured him, "Gonna need regular baby-sitting help y’know" he smirked.

"I shall be honoured" Giles smiled, meaning it truly.

It was a while later when Buffy and her new baby had been cleaned up and settled down that Giles and Michael were permitted to see them. The little boy was awe-struck at the sight of his sister and Buffy could’ve sworn there were tears in her fathers eyes as he looked at them.

"Hello, Little Bit" Michael grinned as he sat beside his mother on the bad and peered into the bundled blanket at his sister.

"Er, does she have a proper name yet?" Giles asked and Spike and Buffy shared a look before she replied.

"We were thinking Megan Joyce" the blonde told her father who nodded.

"I think that’s a beautiful idea" he agreed, "Er, if you don’t mind I’m just going to..." he gestured towards the door before disappearing out of the room.

"You think he’s okay?" Buffy checked and Spike nodded.

"’S all a bit much for him I reckon, luv" he explained, "Got himself a gorgeous daughter and grandson, and now here’s a granddaughter too. Enough to overwhelm a fella I shouldn’t wonder" he considered, "Gotta tell you, ‘s bit much for even me to take in"

Megan chose this happy little family moment to start bawling and Michael worried it was him that had caused her outburst.

"’S not your fault, mate" Spike assured him as he offered to take the baby from Buffy, "Come here, little luv, come to Daddy" he said as he took her in is arms and rocked her til she was quiet again.

"Mommy?" Michael asked her in a whisper, though Spike was so close he could clearly hear the boy, "Now my other Daddy is gone, is Spike my new Daddy?" he checked, "Can I call him Daddy?"

The tears that had been welling up in Buffy’s eyes now spilled over as she glanced between the two men who meant so much to her. Spike’s smile threatened to split his face in two as his lover nodded.

"Yes, sweetie" she told her son, "If you want to call him Daddy, that’s just fine"
"Cool" Michael smiled, turning his attention back to his sister and mumbling some nonsense or other about how pretty she was and how much he was going to help to take care of her. He barely noticed the conversation the grown-ups were having.

"You okay, pet?" Spike asked Buffy as she yawned, "You look done in"

"I’m tired" she admitted, "but more happy than I ever thought was possible" she smiled, "Are you okay?"

"More than bloody okay, luv" Spike told her, giving her a kiss, "I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy, not sure I could ever get any happier, unless..."

"Unless...?" Buffy prompted him when his sentence disappeared into oblivion. Spike glanced away and spoke to Michael before placing Megan in her little cot. He told the boy to keep watch over her for a minute whilst he spoke to Buffy.

"Okay, so either I’ve got the lousiest timing in the world, or... well, here goes" Spike muttered as he sat down on the edge of the bed and took the blonde’s hand in his, "You turned my life upside down, Summers" he smiled, "I knew when I first laid eyes on you that you were special but I never could’ve imagined all this. S’pose what I’m tryin’ to say is, I love you, Buffy, more than I ever knew I could love anyone, and I love Michael and Megan, and I want us to be together, for the rest of our lives. I know it was tough on you, getting that letter today, and I’m not sayin’ we should rush into anything but, Buffy, would you marry me?" he asked finally and she burst into floods of happy tears.

"Yes, Spike" she told him with a smile, "Yes, I’ll marry you" she declared as he hugged and kissed her.

It was strange to think that such a happy little family scene could’ve been the result of one passionate night in a hotel room. It ought to have been just that, a one night stand, memories to be treasured but ultimately set to one side as life went on, but sometimes destiny strikes and it means more than that.

As Giles watched through the window he could see that what Buffy and Spike shared had always been so much more than lust and passion, they were very much in love too, and the children meant the world to them.

Life would not be perfect, not even easy, it never was, but on the whole it ought to be mostly happy from here on out, and that was enough.

The End