"Spike, stop" Buffy made a very weak argument as Spike continued to kiss her neck, his hands running all over her body as he pinned her to the bed.
"You're the Slayer" he reminded her, "Do something about it. Make me stop"
There was just no way she could do that, he was too good at making her want him, and to be perfectly honest it didn't take much effort before she was helpless against him.
"You're evil" she giggled as she returned his advances and he chuckled near her ear.
"What can I tell you baby, I've always been bad" he reminded her, as it seemed inevitable the pair were not getting up from this bed for quite some time, until...
"Mom!" a voice yelled from down the hall and Buffy regrettably shifted to get away.
"Oh come on" Spike complained, trying to keep a hold on her, "She can wait fifteen minutes"
"William Blackwell!" Buffy pretended to be shocked as she finally made her escape from his grasp, "You would ignore your daughter for the sake of your own...fun?" she said, giving him a look as she headed for the door.
Spike grumpily climbed off the bed and followed her out and down the hall where they stopped in the doorway of their daughters room.
"Rebecca, must you scream for your mother's attention when we're...busy?" Spike asked her, "Didn't mind so much when you were a little bit but are you not big enough to do things for yourself now?"
"Daddy, you know only Mom can do my hair the way I want it for tonight" the almost-sixteen year old seated at the vanity table smiled, "and once I go out you can be as busy as you want together...just please don't ever tell me what you did" she made a face and her father smirked.
"No chance of that, pet" he assured her, "You're far too young to understand" he said as he kissed Buffy's cheek and disappeared downstairs. He always needed a stiff drink whenever his daughter so much as mentioned going out on a date. The scotch supply in the house had gone down rapidly lately.
Rebecca rolled her eyes as her mother came into her room.
"Why does Dad still think I'm a kid?" she sighed, "Sixteen years old in one week, hello"
Buffy smiled a she came to stand behind her daughter and started brushing her long blonde hair.
"You'll always be his little girl" the Slayer told the reflection of the younger girl in the mirror, "and my special baby" she added in a whisper, memories rushing from the back of her mind, flooding into the present like the tide catching up with her. Could it really be almost sixteen years since the day her Rebecca was born?
- - - - - - -
"Y'know something, Rebecca?" Buffy asked the tiny baby in her arms, "You were totally worth the effort, but Mommy feels like such a hideous mess right now"
"Personally, I think her Mum looks beautiful" said a voice and Buffy smiled as she looked up and saw Spike framed in the doorway of the hospital room, "I called Joyce" he said as he came over and sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his arm around his woman and the baby she held in her arms, "She was gonna drive straight here, but I told her maybe tomorrow would be better. Thought you could use some sleep"
Buffy's response was a rather large yawn as the child in her arms did the same.
"I am so proud of you" Spike told her, kissing the top of her head. She soon moved to put her lips to his.
"I love you" she whispered, "I really do, you were amazing out there, when I really needed you"
"And I love you" he reminded her, letting the compliment slip by but grinning like an idiot at the sound of her words. He figured it was going to take a while for him to get used to hearing words of love from her, but every time it would thrill him. He looked down at the baby then, and realised that seeing her everyday, bringing her up, knowing she was him and the Slayer perfectly combined, that would make him so happy too.
"You wanna hold?" Buffy asked when she noticed his attention had diverted from her to Rebecca and he nodded. The baby stirred slightly as she was put into her father's waiting arms and Spike knew if he were less strong he would cry from the wonder of it all. Buffy loved him, he had this beautiful daughter, if the world were to end right now he'd go a content and happy man, yes, for the first time in over a century he wasn't a monster, he really felt like a man.
"I think I could sleep for a week" Buffy flopped back against the pillows on the bed and Spike smiled. To be honest he wouldn't mind a few hours kip, the stress and worry alone had all but done for him.
"Looks like you're not alone in that" he told her as it seemed their child was a fraction away from the land of nod herself, "I think the nibblet here should be back in her cot...I sort of needed a word with her Mum anyway" he looked over at the Slayer then as she tried to hide the slight worry that she felt. He sounded too serious when he said that and she was too tired and emotional to cope with much. She watched Spike place Rebecca back into the little cot by the bed, before coming back to stand beside where she lay.
"Was wonderin'" he began, looking down at his hands and the small item they held, Buffy couldn't tell what it was yet, "why exactly you kept this in the first place?" he asked finally holding up the ring he'd given her months ago under the Will Be Done spell, "I mean, back then, I didn't even know I had feelings for you"
"I don't know why I kept it" Buffy shrugged, "I just, I couldn't let it go...and you never asked for it back" she reminded him.
"Thought about it" Spike admitted, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her again, still playing with the ring between his fingers, "but after a while it didn't seem important anymore, and now...Buffy, will you wear it again?" he asked her, "I mean properly, on your finger" he clarified, "I can't marry you, you know that, law-wise I don't even exist...but I love you, and that's one thing I'll always be sure of. You and the little bit are my world now, so...will you?"
Tears streamed down Buffy's face as she took in what he was saying. Coupled with the overwhelming emotions she was already feeling, it was almost unbearable.
"Yes, Spike" she managed to choke out, "I will"
The smile on his face threatened to split it in two as he took hold of her left hand and slid the silver skull ring onto her finger. It was slightly too big and not exactly what one would call pretty but Buffy loved it all the same.
"I love you so much, Slayer" Spike told her, still grinning, "I've never felt like this in my whole existence"
"I know what you mean" she smiled up at him, "because I love you that much too"
When he kissed her then she was even more sure it was right, that she'd made the correct choice in letting herself love and be loved by him. It wasn't going to be an easy ride, not with him being a vampire, her being the Slayer, and them having a child together. The Scoobies would need time to adjust to both Spike and Rebecca being around and a huge part of Buffy's life now. The Slayer only hoped they would be able to find it in them to be happy for her, because right at this moment she was happier than she'd ever been before.
- - - - - - -
"Come on, Mom" Rebecca urged her as she finished off her hair, "Ryan is here" she said, getting up from the seat and checking her outfit one more time in the mirror before scurrying down the stairs. Seems Buffy had done her daughters hair on auto-pilot since she certainly didn't remembering doing it, but it looked fine. She smiled as she followed Rebecca down the stairs, knowing it wasn't just her gorgeous dates arrival that prompted her to hurry. Spike was not exactly boyfriend-friendly where his little girl was concerned and it was often best not to leave him alone with any of them too long.
"Ryan, hi" Rebecca grinned as she reached the bottom of the stairs, Buffy right behind her. The young man smiled back nervously as he edged around Spike and came to stand beside his girl.
"You look beautiful" he told her, kissing her cheek. He wanted to do more than that, but it'd wait til he was away from the prying eyes of Becky's parents, her father in particular.
"You two have fun" Buffy smiled as the young pair headed out of the front door.
"Not too much fun" Spike added, looking pointedly at Ryan who swore he saw the man's eyes flash gold just for a moment, must have been a trick of the light he assumed, although in Sunnydale he knew anything was possible.
"Do you have to be like that?" Buffy sighed as she closed the front door and turned to her vampire love, "He seems like a very nice boy"
"We can all seem to be very nice, luv" Spike pointed, "Us fellas can do a good line in acting the innocent where a pretty girl is concerned, doesn't mean we don't turn into animals later on"
"Some of us girls happen to like that" Buffy smirked in much the same way that he usually did before heading off to the kitchen. Spike followed as she knew he would.
"I just don't like the thought of some spotty little youth getting his hands on my little girl" he said, sitting down on a stool by the counter whilst Buffy made hot chocolate for the both of them, knowing he'd want one without asking.
"Our little girl" she amended, "and she's not so little anymore. At her age I'd already been the Slayer for over a year" she reminded him.
"One thing I'm glad about is that she's her mother's daughter" Spike said seriously as he moved from the stool, walked round the counter and hugged Buffy round the waist from behind, "If that Ryan tries anything, at least she can make him sorry for it"
Buffy smiled at that, recalling some of the more painful moves she and Spike had taught their daughter as she'd grown up.
"I think the only people she can't take down in one move is the two of us" the Slayer realised and Spike nodded as he picked up one of the mugs of hot chocolate and sipped it.
"No shock there, luv" he told her, "No-one can take me down, not even you"
Buffy's eyes were wide as dinner-plates, disbelief written all over her face as Spike walked from her side smirking the whole time.
"Oh you are so asking for it" she told him, as she laughed incredulously. The vampire put the mug down as his tongue ran over his teeth
"You better believe it, baby" he told her, twisting her words, "Give it your best shot, Slayer"
Managing to avoid sending either of the mugs flying, Buffy leapt over the counter top landing just inches in front of him. Far from being in a fighting mood he batted away her hands as she playfully attempted to hit him and they wrassled their way through to the living room, her landing on top of him on the couch.
"Now I've got you" she told him with a grin, breathing heavily from the exertion of the play-fight and the laughter.
"You've always got me Slayer" Spike told her seriously right before their lips met, "Almost thought you'd forgotten we've got the place to ourselves" he said between kisses, "Shame to waste an opportunity" he told her and she clearly agreed as she climbed off him, offering her hand to help him up. They headed for the stairs together, looking forward to a couple of hours of alone time. Even after all these years, they never got bored of nights like this.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 2
At last it seemed Spike was going to get his own way as he and Buffy lay on the bed together kissing, sleeping being the last thing on their minds as he reached for the zipper on the back of her skirt.
"Oh damn" she complained when the phone started to ring downstairs, easily audible in the empty house.
"Ignore it" came Spike's muffled opinion, as he kissed her neck.
"Can't" Buffy told him, "Could be something apocalypsey"
"Oh soddin' hell!" he complained as it was clear she wasn't going to let him get anywhere tonight until the phone had been answered. The Slayer rolled out from under him, zipping her skirt as she did so, before realising her bra was also too loose.
"When did you unhook this?" she frowned, reaching to refasten that too.
"S'your underwear" he shrugged, smiling devilishly from his position on the bed, "Can't expect me to keep account of what's happening to it" he told her as she rolled her eyes and headed for the door.
"Uh-uh" he shook his head in the negative as he leapt off the bed, landing between her and the exit, "You get back there and wait for me, like a good little Slayer" he told her.
She opened her mouth to argue but he didn't let her get a word in.
"If I let you answer that phone, and it's Willow or someone, I won't see you for the rest of the night" he told her, "So, I'll answer it, you can just...keep it warm for me" he smiled suggestively, kissing her on the end of the nose before closing the door on her.
With a sigh Buffy headed back to the bed and sat down before changing her mind and getting up again. She went over to the closet and dug out the shoebox at the back of it. She took it back over to the bed, opening it up and pulling out some of the items it held. Important papers, old jewellery, all kinds of bits and pieces that would mean very little to most people but mattered a whole lot to Buffy.
Right there in the bottom, she found what she was looking for, the old silver skull ring that she'd originally worn as a symbol of the love she and Spike shared. Since then he'd insisted on buying her what he called a 'real' ring, meaning something gold and pricey. She loved it and she wore it happily, but sometimes Buffy missed the sight and the feel of the old ring he'd given her originally, first under that spell and then later when they loved each other for real and had a child to bring up together. For old times sake, she slid the older ring onto the the third finger of her right hand instead, breathing on it and polishing it up on the material of her skirt.
With a happy sigh she reached for the items that belonged in the box and started to put them back until she noticed one particlar piece of paper. Unfolding it she smiled as she read the certificate that bore her daughters name - Rebecca Joyce Summers-Blackwell, born on 15th May 2000, to Buffy Summers and William Blackwell. Her fingers ran over the words and the smile would not shift from her face. She didn't even notice when Spike came back into the room and sat down beside her. He rested his chin on her shoulder and peered down at the paper she held.
"Who was on the phone?" she asked when she realised he was there.
"Just your Mum" Spike told her, "checking a couple of things for the party"
Saturday was to be a big day for the family, as Rebecca turned sixteen. They were having a celebration at the Bronze, and everyone was so excited about it.
"She loves Becky so much" Buffy smiled, "I was so afraid of even telling her I was pregnant"
"I remember" Spike nodded, running his fingers through her hair, "but I did tell you she'd understand. The day Rebecca was born, I don't think there was a prouder grandparent at the hospital than dear Joyce"
- - - - - - - -
As Joyce came into the hospital room she smiled. It seemed both Spike and Buffy had fallen asleep, him still perched on the edge of her bed and the two of them wrapped in each others arms. Next to them, in a little cot, was Joyce Summers first grandchild. Careful not to wake her daughter or Spike, she crept over and peered in at the baby.
"Oh, sweetheart" she breathed, tears coming to her eyes as the little girl wriggled in her sleep, "You're the most precious thing"
"Can't argue with that" Spike agreed as his eyes opened and he stretched his body out a little, trying not to wake Buffy, "You like the look of your grand daughter then, eh Joyce?"
"Spike, she's gorgeous" the woman enthused, "but then I guess she gets that from her fine genetics" she grinned, and if Spike were able he was sure he'd blush at the implication.
"Whats going on?" Buffy stirred beside him and he smiled down at her.
"Morning, pet. Look who's come to visit"
Joyce moved around the bed to greet her daughter and give her a hug. She told her how proud she was and how beautiful Rebecca was, as said little girl, desperate not to be left out of anything, woke up and screamed.
Spike had her out of the cot immediately, gently rocking her in his arms and soothing her til she was calm again. Buffy and Joyce looked on, the latter with a certain amount of astonishment. Where the Slayer had experience of Spike's kindness and love over the past weeks, her mother did not have that advantage. Though she thought he had the capacity for good, and she enjoyed his company, she knew that Rupert was right when he said that underneath it all Spike was a viscous demon. Indeed, the very first time she'd met him he'd been attacking her little girl, but looking at him now, watching him hold his own baby with such care and love, it was impossible to believe he'd ever been evil in the slightest measure.
"Here now, Rebecca" he said when she was finally quiet, "Come and meet Grandma Joyce" he grinned as he handed the child to her and earned himself a stern look.
"I am not old enough to be a grandma yet" she complained half-heartedly as she looked down at the tiny child in her arms.
"We thought Joyce would make a good middle name" Buffy told her, "and she'll have Spike's last name as well as ours" she explained.
"Oh, sweetheart" the older woman smiled at her daughter, tears of happiness threatening to spill from her eyes, "I am so proud of you"
- - - - - - - -
"I think your Mum was more moved by the occasion that even us two" Spike smiled at the memory, "Though I do believe you made me the happiest man on Earth that day" he told Buffy who placed the birth certificate back in the box and turned to look at him.
"I was the happiest woman too" she assured him, her hand on his cheek a she smiled, "I still am" she added right before they kissed.
"I believe you" he assured her, forehead still resting on hers, "but I knew back there at that hospital you weren't going to be one hundred percent content until you got the support of your Scooby Club" he told her with a grin, "Couldn't do anything without their approval back then y'know"
"That is not true" she protested, though she knew he was right. She really had been thrilled when the gang had come around and accepted the baby and her relationship with Spike much more easily than she ever would have hoped. Of course, they had one or two surprises for her too...
- - - - - - - -
"When are they coming?" Spike asked Buffy as she hung up the phone from calling Giles. They hadn't told anyone but Joyce about the baby at first, giving them a chance to get back to Sunnydale and spend a day getting used to their surroundings again before the onslaught of dealing with Buffy's friends. It had been agreed that until further notice, the Slayer would move back into her old room at home with Spike, whilst the spare room would become Rebecca's own.
"Giles said he'd call Will and Xand, arrange to bring them over in an hour or so" she said a little nervously, and Spike walked over to hug her.
"It'll be okay, luv" he promised, kissing the top of her head, "It might take time, but they will understand, and hey" he pulled away ad made her look at him, "if all else fails you'll always have me and Rebecca, right?"
"I know" Buffy nodded, tears threatening to spill from her eyes "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" she asked bringing her hand to his face. He leant his cheek into her palm, adoring the feel of her touch.
"If you love me half as much as I love you, Buffy" he said softly, "then I'm content"
"More than half" she promised, "More than anything" she said as she reached up to bring her lips to his. They held each other tight as the kiss went on until a cry from upstairs claimed their attention.
"Someone's not happy" Buffy sighed, pulling away from Spike and pushing her hair off her face.
"You get yourself ready for when your mates arrive" he told her, "I'll see to the Little Bit"
That agreed they both climbed the stairs, she going to their room and he to the baby.
"Hey now" said Spike as he went over to the crib Joyce had bought just yesterday, "What's all this noise about?" he asked the child who seemed to become calmer just from his presence in the room. He picked her up out of the cot and rocked her in his arms.
"You just wanted some company, didn't you Sweet Bit" he smiled, "and you're not alone in that. Gotta tell you, alone time is nice on occasion but I'm so much better off here with you and your Mum" he sighed, sitting down in the chair in the corner of the room, "Seems weird calling her 'your Mum' when I've barely got used to her being my Slayer. You look like her already, so beautiful. She says you've got my eyes but everyone knows that most kids are born with blue ones anyway...still, it'd be nice to think you got something good out of me being your Dad. That sounds weird too, me being a Dad, but I'm proud if it, more proud than anyone will ever know..."
The child yawned in her father's arms and he himself was having trouble staying awake now. He'd barely slept the past two days together, what with the birth and then looking after Buffy and the baby. Apart from a couple of hours at the hospital he'd barely closed his eyes and right now it was so appealing.
Before he knew it he'd drifted of and it was an hour later before he woke again, hearing voices downstairs...
"Buffy!" Willow shrieked as soon as her friend opened the door, flinging herself at the blonde and hugging her fiercely.
"Hey Will" Buffy hugged her friend back equally as tight. She'd missed the red-headed witch so much these past few weeks. They talked about almost everything usually and to have lost that lately had been a wrench for them both.
"Hey, how about a little huggage for the Xand-man?" a male voice complained and Buffy moved from hugging one best friend to the other, before finally embracing Giles. It was only then that someone coughed behind the gang and they parted to reveal Faith. Buffy looked at her warily.
"Hey B" she half smiled, "Look, I know I did wrong before and if you want me out of town now you're back and all I'll just clear out...trouble ain't my middle name any more y'know?"
"I saw what you did" Buffy said solemnly, "I got a vision when you fought Adam, defended my town and my friends in my place. Giles filled in the gaps when I called him and...I think it was incredible"
She shocked everyone, including herself when she stepped forward and hugged the brunette briefly. Faith looked astonished but grateful when Buffy pulled away again.
"Thankyou" she said simply, "I can't forget the bad things you did, and neither should you, but I'm willing to believe you're a better person now, that you want to be good"
"I do" Faith assured her with a nod.
"Then come inside" Buffy smiled, gesturing for her friends to all accept the invitation, which they did.
As Giles took one armchair and Buffy took the other, her friends and Faith sat along the couch.
"So, how've you guys been?" she asked them all, "I mean, apart from the whole major demon fightage thing"
"I rather think we're all much more interested in you, Buffy" Giles told her, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay" she smiled at the man she saw as very much her father figure, "I'm ridiculously happy, I just really hope you guys can be happy for me too" she said cautiously, looking around the room, "Spike has changed so much, even since we left Sunnydale. He loves me so much, and I feel the same, and then there's Rebecca..."
"Buffy, if you're happy, we are too" Willow assured her, "I mean, it's gonna take some getting used to, you and Spike being all big with the love and you two being Mommy and Daddy to a little girl" she admitted, "but we'll deal, it's okay"
"I love you guys" Buffy's eyes started to water as Xander nodded his agreement with what Willow was saying. Faith looked a little awkward, but was glad just to have been accepted so far.
"Looks like the party started without us" said a voice as Spike made his way down the stairs and appeared in the doorway with a baby in his arms.
"Oh Goddess" Willow gasped when she saw the tiny child.
"Afternoon all" Spike nodded, giving Buffy a look as he stood on the edge of the sunlit area of the room with nowhere to go.
"Oh" she made a sound of realisation as she scrambled for the drapes and Faith helped her pull them across the window.
"Well then" he smiled gratefully as Buffy sat down again and he came further into the room, "S'pose you all ought to meet our daughter"
"Guys" Buffy grinned as she took the child from Spike and he perched on the arm of the chair beside her, "This is Rebecca Joyce Summers-Blackwell"
"She's beautiful, Buff" Xander told her, as he gazed at the child "Looks just like her Mom"
"The kids a peach, B" Faith agreed, "and the boyfriend ain't bad either" she dared to add, earning her a smile from Spike, one that meant despite all that had happened he was willing to let bygones be bygones too.
"Rebecca" Buffy said to her daughter, "This is Grandpa Giles" he frowned at that but let her continue, "Aunt Willow, Uncle Xander...and Aunt Faith" she added to the others surprise. Still, the dark Slayer had earned a little respect and friendship after all she'd done for them, she wanted to be a better person and that would only happen if she was treated better, just the same as Spike, they realised.
- - - - - - - -
"It's amazing what love can do" Buffy smiled to herself as she put the shoebox of memories back into the closet, "I was so happy when I had you and Becky, but it was extra good to know the gang accepted us all"
"Gotta tell ya" Spike sighed "I didn't think I cared what that lot thought but, when they accepted me into the little gang of theirs, it means something to belong like that...I never had before"
Buffy sat down next to him on the bed once again and began to kiss him. In moments he had her pinned to the bed once again, making her feel all kinds of wonderful things as he started to undress her.
"Didn't think I'd forgotten the original plan, did you?" he grinned as sat up for a second to remove his T-shirt.
"I hoped you hadn't" Buffy told him with her own smile as he leant over her once again.
'This time, interruptions be damned' she thought as he reminded her in the most beautiful way, just how much he loved her.
To Be Continued...
Buffy sighed with contentment as Spike rolled off her and did the same.
"I love you" he told her as he always did, pulling her into his arms.
"I love you" she echoed back, loving the feeling of being in his embrace like this almost as much as she loved what they'd just done before.
They lay in comfortable silence thought neither was ready for sleep yet.
"What are you thinking about?" Spike asked, his thumb absently rubbing Buffy's neck as he kissed the top of her head.
"Just you and me and...y'know stuff" she shrugged, snuggling closer to him.
"Oh yeah, stuff" Spike smiled, "that's not in the least bit vague" he said sarcastically.
"You know what I mean" she complained, rolling her eyes, "the stuff" she stressed and he almost laughed at her phrasing when he realised what she meant.
"You can't just say shagging like everyone else?" he asked, as she tipped her head up to look at him, and he pushed her hair off her face.
"Everyone else does not say that" she reminded him, "Just you with your British weirdness" she told him with a smile and a kiss.
"Well, me and my 'British weirdness' are still not understanding what was quite so thought provoking about our latest round of fun" he told her, quickly adding "not that it wasn't glorious as ever" in case he'd offended her somehow. He kissed her thoroughly, enforcing his point, and despite the fact she hadn't felt in the least offended anyway, she enjoyed it immensely.
"It was the glorious that got me all big with the thinkage" Buffy admitted when the kiss ended and she got a chance to breathe, "It got me thinking about the first time..." she admitted almost shyly, as she cuddled up close to him again, hiding her face against his chest so he couldn't see if she blushed.
"You know, pet" he told the top of her head since it's all he could see, "and I'll be severely pissed if you tell anyone this but...it meant something to me too, the real first time between us. I would hope you know that after all this time"
"You never told me" she frowned slightly as she moved to look up at him and he smiled.
"I didn't think I had to" he told her, "Thought it was bloody obvious that I never loved another woman like I love you, never felt anything as special as when we're together" he said softly, his hand caressing her face.
Buffy didn't know what to say to that as she laid back down, half beside him, half on top of him, holding him so tight as if she thought he might disappear at any second.
"I love you so much, William" she whispered, as both their minds sped back sixteen years...
- - - - - - -
"I love you so much, William" Buffy whispered in his ear as he laid on top of her on their bed, his lips travelling down her neck and across her shoulder.
"I know" he replied softly, between kisses "and I love you too Buffy, you'll never know how much"
She encouraged him to continue as his hands slid inside her clothing, but despite his desire to be with her this way, he managed to over-ride it with common sense.
"We have to stop, luv" he said regretfully pulling away from her. She shook her head in protest, pulling him back to her.
"Make love to me, please" she begged of him, and it took everything he had to move away from her. He climbed off the bed completely and stood to the side, watching her breathe unevenly as he tried to calm himself down.
"It's only four weeks since Rebecca was born" he reminded her, as if she could forget, "and I know practical is not my strong point but...I won't hurt you, luv, I just can't do it" he told her solemnly.
"Do you really think I'd ask you to..." she paused awkwardly before continuing, "if I thought it was dangerous" she smiled as she climbed off the bed and walked towards him, stopping with just a fraction of an inch between her body and his, "I went to see the doctor early, cos y'know with Slayer healing and everything I figured I'd be fine by now"
"And?" he prompted her to continue, wondering how he was still concentrating on words as her fingers played with the top buttons of his shirt.
"And he told me what I already knew" she told him, "It's safe, I'm fine" she assured him, "or I would be if you'd just do what I ask...you do still want me, right?" she checked, looking so innocent and afraid he might not.
Spike leaned down and kissed her, leaving no doubt in her mind that he still wanted her very much.
"I love you, you silly bint" he said good-naturedly as he hugged her close, "I'll always love you, and I'll always want you"
Buffy pulled away from him slightly and looked up into his eyes.
"Then show me, Spike" she said, walking backwards toward the bed and taking him with her, "Show me how much you love me"
- - - - - - -
Though Spike had fallen asleep almost half an hour ago, Buffy was still very much awake. The house was silent, as it should be at midnight when the only two people in it were her and her sleeping man. She was still far too busy reminiscing to fall asleep.
Though her actual first time with Spike had been under Willow's Will be Done Spell (actually that was the first two times, but that wasn't the point) Buffy always counted that day, four weeks after their daughter was born, as their first time of making love.
It was so real and intense and full of pure love that afterwards she'd cried a she fell asleep in his arms. He'd called her a 'soppy bint' and she hadn't argued since she didn't really know what he meant. She didn't understand herself why that time was so special, she hadn't felt so moved after her one time with Angel and definitely not with Parker. Buffy surmised she just hadn't been as in love with them as she was with Spike, though when she awoke the next morning, she'd felt like crying again, for a much less pleasant reason...
- - - - - - -
As Buffy opened her eyes to a new morning she realised with some sadness that she had awoken to it alone. The bed beside her where Spike had lay, his arms firmly around her, was empty, a blank space and an empty room was all that faced her. The night before had been without doubt the most beautiful she'd ever known, but now it had happened was her happiness over?
Though she knew it was wrong to draw comparisons, the tears that filled her eyes were only there because of events that came before. Her first and only night with Angel she'd woken up to find him gone, only to realise later that he had lost his soul as he insulted her and made her feel wretched and worthless.
Then there was Parker who had convinced her that sleeping with him would be some sort of statement about living life or some other such crap, and when she woke up in his bed it was alone, again to have him tell her later that it was fun but it was over.
Other than that there had only been her magic-induced time with Spike and that wasn't even a night they spent together, just a bit of a fumble in Giles bedroom whilst the Watcher was asleep. As nice as it had been it was nothing like last night, but now it was over, and it was looking very much like Spike had left just like the rest.
As one lone tear trickled down Buffy's cheek, the bedroom door swung open and she was slightly surprised but also thrilled to see Spike there, wearing only his jeans, and carrying their baby in his arms.
"There now" he said as he rocked Rebecca gently, "Didn't I tell you we'd find Mummy in here?" he smiled, bringing the child over to the bed and sitting down on the edge, near Buffy.
"I wondered where you were" she said, almost accusingly and Spike didn't realise at first as his eyes remained on his daughter who was finally going back to sleep it seemed.
"Heard the little bit getting all restless, went to see what was up before she screamed the house down, that's all" he smiled, looking over at Buffy. The smiled dropped off his face when he saw her wipe away a tear.
"Hey, what's that about?" he asked with a slight frown, but Buffy shook her head.
As it seemed now that Rebecca was sleeping again, Spike took the opportunity to leave the room. He needed to get her back in her crib before she woke up again and then it seemed like he and Buffy needed to talk, though he wasn't sure why. She'd promised him before they went to sleep last night that he hadn't hurt her. She'd told him quite the contrary, that he'd made her feel like a goddess. What Spike was at a loss to understand therefore, was why she was crying now.
When he came back into the bedroom she was lying down again, her back facing the door, as she feigned sleep. There was no way in hell she was out that fast, Spike knew that as he removed his jeans and climbed into bed, pressing himself to her back and wrapping his arms around her. Though a part of her wanted to scramble away and stick to being hurt, mostly Buffy just loved to be close to him like this and couldn't bring herself to move away from his touch.
"What's the matter, baby?" he asked as he kissed her shoulder. With a sigh she turned over in his embrace to face him.
"You weren't there" she admitted quietly, "When I woke up, I was alone again..." she wondered if it sounded ridiculous to him. All the girls he'd slept with, she doubted very much that any of them were to eager to be out of his bed fast, but this mattered to her, she needed reminding that he wasn't like the rest.
Spike was micro-seconds away from saying he didn't understand when his brain engaged, memory kicking in like a smack in the face and he caught on to why she was so upset.
"Buffy" he sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear, "You seriously think after last night I'd have got up and left you?" he asked with some disbelief.
She gave a half-hearted shrug, knowing she'd been a little ridiculous about it, but just so afraid someone was going to take away her happiness again.
"Sweetheart, I'm in this for the long haul" he reminded her, "It's what this means" he told her, bringing her hand out from under the duvet and showing her his ring that she wore, "it's what last night meant, and it's what that baby in the next room represents" he said firmly, "I love you, Buffy, and there are no conditions on that, no ulterior motives attached to it. It is what it is, and it's just about the only thing in this world that I'm certain about" he told her solemnly, "My love for you, and our child. It's all I need"
"I'm sorry" Buffy sniffed as another tear escaped down her cheek and she moved to hug him close.
"Nothin' to be sorry for, pet" he assured her, hugging her back, "I understand the whole rejection thing" he told her, knowing that was true enough. Buffy pulled back to look at him then and smiled.
"Not anymore you don't" she said with a shake of her head, "because I love you so much"
She kissed him then and he was happy to go along with her plans. Despite the fact that dawn had passed and the day was beginning, Spike and Buffy were too busy with each other to bother getting up right now.
- - - - - - -
Buffy sighed in a dreamy state as beautiful memories danced around in her head. she looked over at Spike's sleeping form and smiled as she leant over to kiss his lips. He looked so peaceful and beautiful, and since the house was empty no-one was going to mind if she used her old method for waking him up that always made him smile!
Just as she was considering it, there was a loud bang downstairs and the vampires eyes sprang open.
"What the bloody hell...?" was as far as he got as Buffy leapt out of bed, grabbing her dressing gown as she pounded towards the door. They ran down the stairs only to find her daughter in the hallway, red-faced and crying.
"Becky, what happened?" she asked worriedly, reaching for the stake that she kept in the drawer under the hall table.
"It's Ryan" she choked out, as she went into her mother's arms, tears cascading down her cheeks.
Spike appeared on the stairs, having managed to wake himself up enough to co-ordinate his body into a pair of black jeans and a T-shirt, and get himself down to where his two girls were. He looked to Buffy for explanation and she mouthed 'Ryan' to him. His eyes flashed with flecks of gold as he came to stand beside them.
"What did that git do to you, luv?" he asked as calmly as he could and Rebecca moved to his arms instead of he mothers.
"Daddy, I thought he was nice" she complained as she sobbed into his shoulder, "but he was a nasty bugger just like all the rest" she howled, his own turn of phrase escaping her lips.
Spike shared a worried look with Buffy before taking his little girl by the upper arms and pushing her away enough that he could see her face.
"Sweetheart, I know you don't wanna talk about it, but you have to tell us if he did something to you" he told her, fighting the urge to slip into his vamp face. Buffy could see how hard he was trying and she was so proud of him and the way he'd learnt to control his demon side over the years.
"It's okay" Rebecca nodded bravely, tears finally subsiding, "He tried to...touch me" she said, looking away both embarrassed and ashamed though she had no reason to be, "I told him not to and when he didn't stop I...he was unconscious when I walked away" she said with fear in her eyes. She hadn't meant to do any major damage to him, but Ryan had made her so upset and angry she just laid him out like she would take down a vampire.
"You did the right thing, honey" Buffy told her tearful daughter, a hand on her arm "Nobody has the right to force you when you say no"
Rebecca nodded gratefully to her mother. She knew she was right but she did feel bad for hurting Ryan so badly. Yes, he'd done wrong, but she was fairly certain her right hook had broken his jaw, and there was no telling what damage she'd done when her knee hit other places...
"Gave him a couple of choice bruises did you, luv?" Spike couldn't help the smirk that settled on his face as he imagined it.
"In places you wouldn't wanna know about" she managed a smile, as she wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"That's my girl" her father grinned as he hugged her and Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Our girl" she corrected him for the second time that night as she joined in the hugging, "and thank God we taught her well"
To Be Continued...
Chapter 4
When Rebecca had finally calmed down and gone off to bed, Buffy and Spike went back to their own room, but neither could sleep. The vampire was imagining a few choice ways he could teach one Ryan Thompson a serious lesson about how to treat a lady, whilst the Slayer was having almost as violent thoughts herself. Buffy knew she could never actually do that to a human being and despite the fact he'd done it in his past, Spike knew he couldn't be that person anymore either.
"I feel so bad for Becky" Buffy sighed, as she lay in Spike's arms in their bed, "I remember too well how dating at her age can be"
"Well, some of us don't have that insight" the man beside her pointed out, "but at least we brought her up decent" he reminded her, "No piece of scum is gonna take advantage of our Little Bit" he said, giving Buffy a squeeze and kissing the top of her head.
"Morals are good but it helps that she has the strength and skills to defend herself" Buffy considered, "In some ways I'm glad she's like me"
"You weren't at the time!" Spike scoffed, "You went bleedin' apoplectic!"
"I was not that bad" she said indignantly as she pulled away to look at him.
"I'm sorry, luv" he shook his head not looking anything like apologetic, "but you really were that bad. You don't remember the huge falling out you had with your Scooby mates, the day they realised what they'd done?"
- - - - - - - -
"Hey Buff" Willow smiled nervously as the front door of Revello Drive swung open to reveal herself, Xander, and Giles.
"Hey guys" the Slayer smiled as she hefted her six month old daughter higher on her hip and pushed her hair up off her face with the other hand, "Er, come in" she told them moving aside so they could enter. Rebecca watched the three people in fascination as they traipsed into the living room and sat down along the couch.
"Spike!" Buffy called up the stairs, also attracting the attention of her mother from the kitchen.
"Oh, Rupert, Willow, Xander" she smiled as she came into the room, drying her hands on a dish-towel, "What a nice surprise"
"Good evening Joyce" Giles greeted her with a too bright smile that made the others share a glance but the moment soon ended as Spike thundered down the stairs.
"Oh God, not another bleedin' apocalypse" he said as he stopped abruptly in the living room door, spotting the whole gang there.
"No, no" Willow shook her head as Buffy took a seat in the armchair and put her child on her knees, "Nothing end-of-the-world-y, we promise"
"Actually, what we've discovered has to do with Rebecca" Giles told them, removing his glasses and polishing the lenses as Spike sat down on the arm of Buffy's chair, wrapping a protective arm around her and his daughter.
"What about her?" he asked warily as Joyce sat down in the other armchair and braced herself for whatever kind of nasty shock was coming.
The three new arrivals were silent and Buffy looked pointedly at each, desperate for an answer to her partners question. Xander was the first to crack.
"It's, well, it kinda has to do with a spell" he said nervously, two pairs of eyes boring into him, making him feel very threatened, "Y'know the spell we did to defeat Adam?"
"Course we bloody remember, it was the day Becky was born" Spike rolled his eyes at the boys ignorance.
"Right, well, it had to do with the Slayer and..." Xander swallowed hard and bottled out, turning to his witch friend for help.
"We summoned the power of the First Slayer" Willow explained, glancing between her hands in her lap and the faces of Spike, Joyce, Buffy and the baby she held to her, "The power was for Faith to make her powerful enough to beat back Adam, but you were...are the Slayer too Buffy, so you got it too"
"The vision, luv" Spike said, looking down at the blonde, "Back in Santa Monica you knew your mates were in trouble, you said you saw it like a vision"
"I did" Buffy nodded warily, "This power shot through me, the true power of the Slayer I guess but...what does that have to do with Rebecca?" she wanted very much to know. It was Giles that revealed the main point.
"Buffy, unborn children are affected by their mothers" he told her as simply and calmly as he could, "Whatever she does, be it eating damaging foods, drinking alcohol, smoking, it all affects the child inside her"
"Rupert, I think we all know that much" Joyce pointed out rather agitated by the situation.
"Indeed Joyce" Giles nodded once, "but it appears we did not think about it at the time of our spell. We did not consider the implications of summoning the First Slayer's power for Faith's use"
"Oh my God" Buffy gasped, tears in her eyes as she suddenly realised what he was saying, "When Faith got that power, so did I" she swallowed hard "and so did Becky" she added glancing up and Spike who frowned in confusion.
"But when the spell ended, it went away, the extra power, right?" the vampire looked around the room, hoping for further explanation and it was Willow who spoke up.
"It left Faith and Buffy, but children work differently, especially not-born-yet ones" she shrugged slightly, "Rebecca held onto the power...she's a Slayer" she said finally and Buffy closed her eyes, wishing it all away as she pulled her baby close to her body and held her tighter.
Spike's arm went further around Buffy, and he kissed the top of her head. He had no idea what to say. His daughter was a Slayer, his supposed enemy, not that it made a huge difference in that respect because Buffy was a Slayer too and it didn't stop her loving him or him feeling the same about her. Still, he knew Buffy had wanted a relatively normal life for their child, instead of which the girl was not just a look-alike of her mother, but it seemed she had her strength and skill and destiny too.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Joyce asked her daughter, reaching out a hand to her arm.
"No" Buffy shook her head, her tone cold as her eyes opened again and she observed her so-called friends before her, "I want them out of here" she said firmly. Xander looked astonished.
"Buff, it wasn't our fault, we just..."
"You heard the lady" Spike ground out, demon face rippling beneath the surface of his human guise, eyes sparkling with flecks of gold.
"I think it might be best if you all went home for now" Joyce said carefully, standing up and encouraging the Scoobies to do the same. Giles went for a tactfully quiet exit, and Xander was too rattled by Buffy's icy tone and Spike's struggle to stay out of game face to argue anymore. Willow was the last one to file out of the house. Looking back at the little family huddled in the armchair, she felt horribly guilty.
"I'm sorry" she said softly as she walked out of the front door and Joyce closed it behind her.
As soon as they were gone Buffy broke down into noisy sobs, rocking her baby back and forth on her knee as Spike held onto them both.
"Ssh sweetheart, it's okay" he tried to calm her. Though he was stunned by the revelation of Rebecca being a Slayer, he didn't hate the idea as much as Buffy seemed too.
"It's not okay, Spike" Buffy cried, and Joyce left the room, unable to bear seeing her girl so upset and knowing she and Spike needed to be alone right now.
"So the little one'll be a Slayer" he said calmly as he rubbed her back, "Didn't do you any harm, did it?"
"You have no idea" Buffy continued, shaking her head, "I wanted her to be normal, to have friends and dates and fun" she explained, "My life revolved around vampires and demons and weapons for so long Spike, and it still does to some degree" she cried, "I don't want her to go through that, I don't want my little girl to have that destiny"
Tears streaked down her face and the baby on her knee looked up at her with wide innocent eyes. She had no idea what was going on, except Mommy didn't look happy about it. She cried for a long time, tears dripping down onto Rebecca's arm and making her squirm.
"They've ruined by baby's life" Buffy said sadly when she had no tears left to cry, "I won't ever forgive them for it"
As much fun as it might have been at one time for Spike to hear that the bloody Scooby Gang wouldn't ever be bothering him and his Slayer again, he'd come to realise lately what an asset it was to have friends and allies. More than that he knew they were like extended family to Buffy, and he couldn't just let her throw all that away. Besides, there were advantages to the situation they just found themselves in.
Spike sighed, moving to crouch down on the floor in front of Buffy. Rebecca grinned as she turned and found him there, reaching a hand out to his face. She giggled when he pretended to bite at her fingers, and made a fuss until he lifted her from her mother's lap.
"Buffy, luv" he said softly, "You and this little one, you two mean the world to me" he told her as the girl in his arms played with the collar of his shirt, "I'm going to love you and her no matter what happens, and you know we never would've had a normal life anyway" he reminded her, "Surely it's better that she can defend herself against the things we know are out there, than have us constantly worrying about protecting her"
"I always want to protect her" Buffy said softly, her throat hoarse from crying. She reached a hand out to the little girl, fingers running over light blonde curls of hair.
"Me too" Spike agreed, "but it'll be a comfort to know, as she grows up, that she has some way to protect herself too, won't it?" he asked with a tilt of his head. Buffy smiled as Rebecca turned to look at her with a big grin on her face.
"I guess it will" the Slayer agreed, leaning forward to kiss her daughters head.
"Any chance of me getting one of those?" Spike asked with a smirk and Buffy placed her lips to his. Rebecca grinned wider and clapped her hands together as her parents kissed.
- - - - - - - -
"I did tell you it'd all work out, didn't I?" Spike reminded his Slayer who nodded in agreement.
"Yes, okay, you were right again" she sighed, "Can we please go to sleep now?"
"Sure thing, luv" he smiled, turning out the bedside lamp, and saying good night.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 5
"It is good to know that guys can’t take advantage of her, and that she can deal when we’re not there to help" Buffy said in the dark. Despite her request to go to sleep she could not stop thinking about her daughter and what had happened tonight, "And y’know tonight could’ve been worse" she continued "Ryan could’ve been a vampire..." she stopped short when she realised what she’d said and to whom. It was ridiculous but she rarely thought about Spike’s vampire status anymore, to the point where she said things like she just had without a moments hesitation.
"Oh Spike, I am so sorry" she said fast, covering her mouth with her hand, unable to believe she’d been so stupid.
"S’okay luv" he smiled, putting his hand to her cheek affectionately, "Can’t say as I’d much fancy my girl dating a demon either" he admitted.
"I forget that it’s what you’re supposed to be" she sighed, leaning her face into his hand, "You’re so different now"
"Still a demon, pet" he reminded her, "nothing’s ever going to change that"
"I know" Buffy nodded, moving closer and kissing him, "but that’s what you are, it’s not who you are...and I love you so much" she promised him as he kissed her back and they moved down under the covers together. As his hands travelled inside her night-dress, Buffy squirmed away from him.
"Spike, not now" she told him firmly, "Rebecca’s still awake, and I can’t when I know she might hear"
"Spoil sport" Spike said grumpily, "Shouldn’t be so damn sexy, should ya Slayer?" he complained, "S’not my fault if just looking at you makes me want to shag you"
Buffy rolled her eyes and turned over so her back was against his chest. His arms wrapped around her from behind and held her close.
"I don’t think I’m gonna get to sleep anytime soon" Buffy sighed, "My heads too busy with stuff"
"Been getting too nostalgic, pet" Spike told her, "Gotta say the one that sticks in my mind was tryin’ to explain the whole other-world thing to the little one"
"It wasn’t easy" Buffy agreed.
"Thing that bothered me most was, how do you get a little kid to understand the difference between good and evil and then tell her one of the supposed nasties is her Dad?" the vampire commented as he remembered a day, more than ten years ago.
- - - - - - -
"Hello, sweetheart" Spike smiled as his little girl ran into the kitchen and flung herself at his legs.
"Hi Daddy!" the almost-six year old grinned, squeezing his shins until he leant down and picked her up off the floor. He sat her on the edge of counter and straightened out her blonde hair.
"You have fun with Aunt Willow?" he asked, just as the red-head came into the room.
"Uh-huh" Rebecca nodded madly, "She got me a new dvd!"
"Really?" Spike frowned slightly at the witch, "Honestly, Red, you didn’t have to" he told he as she handed the box to him.
"She’s practically my niece, Spike" Willow smiled, "and who else am I going to spend my hard earned dollars on"
The vampire thanked her and checked his daughter had done the same before looking properly at the dvd in his hands.
"Beauty and the Beast, eh?" he said aloud, "Didn’t we watch this on TV last month?" he asked his daughter who nodded.
"It’s my favourite" she told him, making him smile. Just about every Disney movie she saw became her latest favourite, although he had to admit he did sort of approve of this one. The guy who seemed evil but was actually good, Buffy had commented on how similar that was to his own situation. A situation that so far, Rebecca was not aware of.
"Did you want a coffee, Red?" he asked the witch, "I was just making a drink"
"No, thanks, I’m fine" Willow told him, "I really have to go anyway, me and Tara have a Wicca group meeting in an hour" she explained.
She said goodbye to Spike and Rebecca and let herself out of the house as the little girl waved her dvd around and begged her Daddy to put it on for her to watch.
"Just a minute, baby" he told her, going back to microwave to get out his blood. He usually avoided drinking it in front of Becky but he hadn’t expected her and Willow back just yet. One day he knew he was going to have to tell his daughter the truth anyway, but he was just so afraid of her hating him for what he was.
When he turned back from the microwave, he found Rebecca had grabbed the pen from next to the phone and was just about to begin drawing on the box of her dvd.
"Don’t do that, Becky" he stopped her just before the tip of the pen hit the cover, "Don’t wanna mess up your present, do you?"
"I was just gonna scribble out the bad man, Daddy" she said innocently. Spike was a little surprised to see she was gesturing at a cartoon drawing of a human being rather than the beast.
"The beast’s not a bad man then?" he checked and the little girl shook her head fiercely, making her blonde bunches swing about.
"Nuh-uh" she told him firmly, "The beast was a nice man underneath, he just looked hairy and stuff, but he loves Belle and then he gets to be a man again" she explained with a grin and Spike glanced back to the mug of blood by the microwave. The smell of it coupled with the hunger from not feeding for too long was making it increasingly difficult to keep his game face back, and he knew he’d get no better opportunity than this to tell Rebecca what he really was.
"Can we put on my dvd now please, Daddy?" she asked him, reaching for his hand and pulling on it. Taking an unneeded deep breath he turned back to her.
"Baby, there’s something I need to talk to you about before we watch, okay?" he said calmly as he could.
"Okay, Daddy" Rebecca agreed easily, putting the dvd down next to her as Spike took a seat on the stool in front of where she sat on the counter.
"Now, first of all, you know I love you and your Mum very much, don’t you?" he told her and she nodded.
"We love you too, Daddy" she assured him and he swore if he was less of a man he’d cry.
"I know, baby, but there’s something I have to tell you that might change things" the little girl looked lost already and Spike wasn’t entirely sure he knew where he was going with this, "You see, the beast, in your movie here" he told her, one hand hovering near the dvd box, "he’s a good man, he’s just sort of trapped in a bad body, right?"
"Uh-huh" Becky agreed with a nod.
"Well, in our world there are people like that too, only they’re good people with a bad thing inside, that they can’t always control...do you understand?" he looked at her hopefully and her face crinkled thoughtfully as her little brain worked over-time.
"There are nice people with beasts inside?" she tried and Spike paused a moment before nodding.
"In a way, sweetheart, yes" he told her, "but like the one in your movie, they can be nice people too"
"Nice people like you and Mommy?" she asked with a smile and Spike couldn’t help but smile himself at how close she was.
"Yes, baby" he told her, "Y’see, Daddy has something inside of him that’s bad, but I love your Mum and you enough that I can control it and be good" he said carefully trying to gauge her reaction. He couldn’t smell any fear so that was good, but she did look a little confused.
"You used to be a bad man?" she asked, little lip trembling at the very idea. She looked more disappointed in him than afraid, and that was almost worse.
"I did" he nodded sadly, "but it was a long time ago now, before you were even born, and I’d never be a bad man again" he assured her.
"You promise?" she checked, the look in her eyes very much like her mother when she wasn’t quite sure if he was lying or not.
"I promise" he said solemnly.
"Then that’s okay" she grinned, reaching forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, so glad she was okay about this but knowing there was still more to tell. Maybe the rest could wait til she was older?
"Daddy?" her little voice said as he picked her up from the counter and carried her to the living room, her dvd in his other hand, "Is it cos you used to be bad that you’re not allowed to see the sun?" she asked in all innocence and he nodded.
"Sort of, yeah" he told her, "and there are other things" he decided to tell her, "Like you know how I have to drink special red stuff that you can’t have?" she nodded and he continued, just wanting to get all this over with "That’s part of it too, and there’s one last thing"
As he sat them both down on the couch she looked up at him with wide eyes, waiting for a further revelation. This was the one part that petrified him the most. Words were all very well, but in the end words were all they were, harmless speech that didn’t really mean anything much. If she ever saw his game face it was important she understood what that meant, and that she knew he’d never harm her.
"Baby, sometimes the dem..beast" he amended, "sometimes it comes out and it makes Daddy look..scary" he opted for, "but you don’t ever have to be afraid, pet, because I’d never, ever hurt you or your mother, okay?"
She nodded but there was a frown on her face.
"Can I see?" she asked, and he could smell slight fear coming from her, but she covered it well. She was a perfect little version of her mother and it was a sight to see.
"You sure?" he checked and when she nodded he twisted his head and his game-face came out. She gasped slightly at her father’s transformation but her fear level didn’t rise by much. He blinked at her with yellow eyes and the little girl pulled herself up til she was standing on the cushioned seat of the sofa.
Rebecca’s little hand reached forward, fingers tracing the bumps across her father’s forehead as she studied him. He was so relieved when she smiled.
"Your eyes are all pretty, like Mommy’s gold rings" she told him, "and you’re not scary" she shook her head, "cos I know you’re still Daddy underneath" she told him, throwing herself at him and wrapping her little arms around his neck.
Spike hugged her close, loving what she’d just said to him. He was sure she had no idea how relieved and happy he was right in that moment as he hugged her and his face shifted back, just in time for two tears to roll down human cheeks.
- - - - - - -
"You were really scared that she’d hate you?" Buffy asked Spike with some surprise.
"You and her meant more to me than anything else in the world" he told her, "still do as it goes, and the thought of either of you not wanting me around anymore...I just couldn’t bear it" he admitted, almost in tears all over again as he re-counted the event.
"You don’t have to bear it" Buffy reminded him, "It all worked out okay. We’re both still here, and we love you so much"
"Sometimes I still have trouble believing it, pet" he told her with a sad smile, holding her hand in his and kissing her finger where her wedding-type ring resided "I know I don’t deserve this life that I have, and sometimes when I go to sleep I think what if next morning when I wake up...this will all have been just a beautiful dream"
"Oh Spike" she sighed, kissing him tenderly. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.
"I promise if you go to sleep now" she told him, "I will still be here in the morning, always...because there’s nowhere else I’d ever want to be"
To Be Continued...
Chapter 6
Monday morning at 1630 Revello Drive ran in clockwork fashion as it always did. Buffy was up with the lark to get ready for her early shift at work, almost always about to leave when her husband and daughter emerged from their beds.
"I hate it when you work earlies" Spike complained from the kitchen doorway, watching Buffy dump her breakfast things in the sink and take a mug from the microwave. "The beds all cold without you"
Buffy smiled as she put his mug of blood on the counter for him and walked over to kiss him. Feeling particularly unhappy about letting her go today, Spike held her body tight to his as her hands slid across his chest and all inside his unbuttoned shirt.
A cough from the other door made them spring apart like startled teens before they both glanced over at their daughter. Rebecca looked equal parts amused and grossed out by their display.
"Mornin’ Bit" Spike smirked back at her finally releasing Buffy who went over to her daughter.
"Hey sweetie, did you sleep okay?" she checked and Becky nodded, returning the hug her mother gave her.
"I’m okay" she promised, "Not so thrilled about facing school today but, it’s not like I did anything really wrong, right?" she checked.
"You defended yourself" Spike told her firmly, "S’nothing wrong with that luv. You made me bloody proud" he told her as he sat down on a stool by the counter and sipped his blood. Buffy pushed a plate of toast towards Becky who sat down beside her Dad.
"Well, I gotta run" the Slayer told them, picking up her purse, "Have a good day" she said going over to kiss her daughter’s cheek, "You too, honey" she told Spike, deliberately kissing his cheek and not is lips, and avoiding his hands as they came towards her. If they started that again she really wouldn’t want to leave!
"See ya later, luv" he called behind her as she disappeared out of the back door, "So, you really okay?" he said, turning back to Becky, who played with her breakfast.
"I guess" she shrugged, knowing it was impossible to tell anything other than the absolute truth to her Dad, "I’d just rather forget about Ryan and move on, y’know?"
"’Course, pet" Spike smiled, putting an arm around her shoulders and leaning over to kiss the top of her head before they both went back to their food.
"So, is Mark finally gonna tell Stacey he loves her today?" Becky asked after a while. She referred to her father’s latest novel that he had been letting her read. For a long time he wondered what his vocation in life would be until one day when he and Buffy were curled up on the couch watching a truly dire episode of Passions. He’d been explaining to Buffy how he would re-write the story and she suggested he write it down, it was so good.
So many years of living in the world meant Spike had such vast knowledge of life, love, the universe, and everything that the fiction he wrote was inspiring and with Giles’ help a publisher was soon found for book after book. Up until now, Becky had never been permitted to read them, since she was too young for some of the romantic moments and occasionally some of the more violent scenes, but after much pleading she had been permitted to be the first to read his latest work in progress.
"Guess you’ll have to wait and see" Spike smirked as he answered her question, "Never can tell with these hero types what they might do next" he told her, standing up and taking his mug over to the sink to rinse it out.
"Y’know I imagine Mark and Stacey to look just like you and Mom" Becky giggled, "You guys are just so into each other, like nobody else’s parents that I know"
Spike wasn’t sure how to answer that.
"I love your mother and you more than anything, pet" he said eventually, "and I don’t know how to love any other way than to give everything I have"
"I get that" his daughter nodded, "I guess it just makes me think sometimes" she continued, joining him by the sink and bringing her breakfast plate with her, "You two have done so much for each other, given up so much..."
"That’s all your Mum" Spike sighed, "She gave up a lot for me but all I had to do was quit being an evil bugger, and that was no hardship when I had she and you to guide me out of the dark" he said, concentrating on the running water and the dishes in the sink, instead of his daughter.
"You gave up one thing at least" she reminded him, and he turned to look at her then, "She is so grateful not to have to grow old alone" she told him, kissing his cheek and picking up her schoolbag, "See you tonight" she smiled as she left.
"See ya, pet" he called behind her, shutting off the faucet and drying his hands on the dishtowel, in a semi-daze as he realised what she meant. He had given up one thing for Buffy, though he never really thought about it much. It was five years ago now...
- - - - - - -
"Buffy?" Spike frowned as he tapped on the bathroom door. She’d been in there quite some time and he’d been starting to worry she was drowning or something.
He was thankful when the door opened and she stepped out wearing her robe.
"Hey" she half-smiled, but he knew something wasn’t right.
"You okay, pet?" he asked with a tilt of his head. He thought it best to give her a chance to tell him of her own free will before he pushed her on it.
"Sure, fine" she nodded, squeezing past him to head for the bedroom. Spike followed, shaking his head. After all this time, all that they’d shared, did she really think she could still keep secrets from him?
"Slayer, I know that look" he told her, following her into the bedroom and closing the door behind them, "You are not fine, pet, so save us both some time and effort and tell me what it is" he urged her, as they sat down on the edge of the bed together, "I only want to help, luv" he told her, picking up her hand in his but she drew it away.
"You can’t" Buffy mumbled, looking in the opposite direction, "You can’t change it...I’m getting old"
"Oh, that’s the problem" Spike rolled his eyes, "Yeah, that’s dire, pet, really"
"I’m going to be thirty, Spike, in two weeks" Buffy told him dramatically as if it were a life and death matter.
"Yeah" he nodded, "and I’ll be a hundred and thirty" he reminded her, "actually a hundred and thirty one in a couple of months" he realised.
"But you don’t look it" Buffy sighed and shook her head as she looked down at her hands playing with the ties of her dressing gown, "You’re twenty four on the outside Spike, you were before, you are now, and you will always be. Nothing but young and gorgeous forever" she sighed. Spike couldn’t help smiling at the compliment, despite the Slayers distress. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close then.
"You’ll always be gorgeous to me, pet, age won’t change that. Another ten, twenty years even, you’ll still be the most beautiful woman I know. Nothing will have changed"
"Nothing will have changed on you" she corrected, pulling out of his arms and standing up in front of him, "I’ll be old Spike, in twenty years I’ll be fifty. That is not young, and I won’t look good. Pretty soon people are gonna start thinking I’m your mother, or that you’re Becky’s boyfriend instead of her father"
Spike looked away when he realised how serious she was and how much truth there was in her words. When Rebecca was born and he and Buffy were just starting out together, so in love, they didn’t consider the practical elements about how life would be for them. Now the fact he didn’t age had been brought up and he had no idea how to resolve such an argument as this.
"You never mentioned any of this before" he said softly, looking at the carpet between his feet.
Buffy immediately felt awful for making him feel bad, but what she was saying was true, Still, it was hardly his fault he wouldn’t age as she did.
"I didn’t want to have to think about it before" she told him, as she felt tears come to her eyes, "but Spike, it’s happening, and you can’t stop it. You’re immortal, I’m not. I’m going to get old and die one day...vampires don’t do that" she said as she came to sit beside him once again. She didn’t want this to be a fight, but she was so angry and upset that things wouldn’t be all happily ever after like she wanted.
"We could both live eternally, Buffy" Spike told her after a long silence, "All I have to do is..." his fingers brushed her hair away from her neck and she realised all too clearly what he meant.
"No, Spike" she said firmly, pulling back but not running from him. She wasn’t afraid of him, not ever, not even since he’d had the chip removed from his head, but she couldn’t accept what he was saying. She hated the look on his face then, so hurt that she’d backed away from him. Before his hand could be completely retracted she took hold of it in her own
"Think about what it would mean for Rebecca" she told him, "We couldn’t do that to her"
Spike nodded that he understood, but he hated that this problem was so unfixable. He was the head of the family, so to speak, he should be able to solve everything, keep his girls happy.
"There has to be something" he said, almost too himself and Buffy shook her head sadly.
"I don’t see that there is" she told him with a sigh, "I guess I’ll just have to get used to it...we both will" she said, though she knew it would always be an issue between them.
Two Weeks Later...
"Spike?" Buffy tapped on the bathroom door, a little worried about him now. When she’d gotten home from work he’d barely said hello before he hurried upstairs. When she followed a while later, he disappeared into the bathroom and he’d been there ever since. It was unlike him to be locked away in there for so long, even when they were going out as they were tonight. Of course, there was some comfort in knowing he couldn’t have drowned at all, but he seemed to be avoiding her.
"What’s up, pet?" he asked with a smile as he came out of the room, all dressed for her birthday party as he should be.
"You’ve been in there for over an hour and a half" she frowned at how unusual that was and Spike checked his watch.
"Really? Sorry, luv" he kissed her forehand as they headed for the stairs, "At least we’re not late" he added as he went down and she followed.
"No, we’re not late" she agreed, "I was just kinda worried since you’re never in the bathroom so long. I mean, it’s not like you have a reflection to..." she looked at him strangely then as he leaned over to pick up his keys from the coffee table. He stopped half way and straightened again.
"What’s up?" he asked her as she continued to look at him oddly.
"I don’t know" Buffy shook her head, coming around the table towards him, "You look different somehow...did you do something different with your hair or what?" she asked, thinking it looked pretty much the same as always, but something was definitely different.
Spike sighed.
"I wasn’t gonna tell you yet" he admitted, "It’s sort of your birthday present"
"I don’t understand" Buffy’s frown deepened and Spike sat down in the armchair behind them, sitting her down on his lap. She was starting to worry now, he could almost feel her shaking in his arms and there was a slight smell of fear coming off her.
"I had a talk with Red and Glinda" he explained, "Took some work but they did a bit of mojo for me. Not so much of a fan of it always but it’s nothing dangerous" he assured her, squeezing her hand in his, "S’called a glamour, luv, and it’s on me...changing me"
"Changing you?" Buffy still didn’t understand, "How?" she checked, still obviously worried about all this.
"I’m gonna grow old, luv, at least it’ll look like I am. The Wiccas wired the spell up to you somehow. I’ll age at the same rate you do, or on the outside at least it’ll seem that way" he told her with a hopeful smile, he really wanted her to be happy about this. He was so sure that it was what she wanted, but so far she didn’t look exactly what one would called impressed. Her hand when to his face, finger running down his cheek.
"Why, Spike?" she asked him, "Why would anyone want to look older?"
"It’s for you, luv" he smiled, bringing his hand up to cover her own, "I did it for you and for Becky" he admitted, kissing her hand, "I don’t wanna be an embarrassment when you and she are getting older, and I won’t have you feeling bad either. This is my gift to you" he smiled, "or part of it at least. The other half is here" he added as he rached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.
He passed it to Buffy and with shaking hands she opened it to reveal a gold eternity ring, studded with rubies and tiny diamonds.
"Oh Spike" she gasped "it’s a beautiful gift" she cried as she leaned in to hug him tight and he smiled.
"The ring, or the spell?" he wanted to know and she was grinning and crying at the same time when she pulled back to look at him
"Both" she declared before kissing him soundly, "Both are...they’re just perfect, William, thankyou. I love you so much" she told him before they kissed again.
"I love you too, pet" he promised her, taking the ring from the box and slipping it onto her finger, "Always will"
- - - - - - -
Spike sighed as he finshed off drying the dishes and filed them away in the cupboard where they belonged. He headed for the living room and turned on his laptop as he settled down on the couch to write. He skim read through the half chapter he’d already written yesterday and smiled to himself. Yes, Mark would confess his love for Stacey today, he thought, and though they might not live happily ever after, his love for her would sustain him for the rest of time.
To Be Continued...