"I don't know why I let you talk me into this?" the Slayer complained as she strode through the graveyard with Spike at her side. A few hours ago the vamp had realised that despite his inability to hurt humans without a severe pain to the head, he was quite able to beat on demons. All he wanted to do was get out there and kill something, and when Willow and Xander had not been forthcoming he'd called on the Slayer, and Buffy reluctantly admitted she was planning to patrol anyway. She let Spike tag along, figuring he might be useful but really not happy about having to spend time with him.

Ever since that spell Willow had cast things had been a little weird between them, just little looks and glances, but it bothered Buffy that Spike knew her better now, knew things about her that maybe even her friends didn't know, they'd shared so much during the time of that spell, more than she would like to recall...

"Whats up with you?" the bleached vamp complained, "You plan to kill things, so do I. No reason why we shouldn't keep each other company" he reasoned.

"I don't need your company, and I certainly don't want it" Buffy snapped, wondering how it were possible for him to get her so annoyed so fast. No-one could piss her off quite like Spike could. If she didn't know better she'd say that meant something!

"Y'know your problem Slayer?" he asked, not expecting an answer but getting one anyway.

"Starts with S, ends in pike?" she shot back at him, before spotting a figure in the distance and smiling, "Oh thank God. Demons" she gestured towards two nasty looking horned creatures to their left and Spike grinned as his features shifted into the visage of the demon within.

"Let's do this"

It was a sight to behold as the demons advanced and the two warriors fought back to back to fend off the attack. It wasn't long before Spike had snapped the neck of the demon he was fighting, and he turned to see the Slayer trying her best to kick ass but not doing as well as he would expect.

Spike had taken on Buffy himself, pre-chip naturally, and she was one hell of a fighter, he had to admit, made evident by the fact that she was the first Slayer to slip through his fingers this many times. That is why the blond vampire frowned so hard, with his human features now, as he watched the battle before him. For every punch and kick the Buffy landed the demon got in two or three and the girls nose was already running with blood.

As much fun as it was to just lean on the nearby tree and watch the Slayer get a good thrashing, Spike was intrigued, if not a little worried, that Buffy couldn't seem to cope with such a simple fight. As the demon threw her to the ground once more and it seemed she wasn't going to get up before it was too late, Spike leapt into action, bringing the demon down with a thump. Buffy hadn't been able to kill the thing but it was clear to the vampire that she'd softened him up a little at least as it didn't take long for him to be 'dispatched' along with his friend. Spike was unsure why he felt the need to white-knight it for the sake of a Buffy, but she was a Slayer and he figured it was just because he wanted the pleasure of taking her life with his own hands one day, when he finally got the stupid chip out of his head.

Standing up to his full height and breathing unnecessarily deeply, Spike turned to see Buffy only just now pulling herself to her feet. Her eyes took in the vampire that frowned at her and the two demons lying on the ground together in a pool of oozing green blood. She closed her eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, but found she couldn't keep it in any longer. She threw up in spectacular fashion, making Spike wrinkle his nose in distaste. He just looked away until he heard her stop heaving over a nearby gravestone, before turning back.

"Well, Slayer" he said with a smirk, "had no idea you were such a poncing light-weight these days"

"You're a pig, Spike" she shot back lamely, "Now, get lost" she began to storm off, though her legs didn't seem too prepared to take her weight. Spike followed her, still intrigued by the whole situation. Not only could Buffy not hold her own in a fight, but she was tossing her cookies at the sight of demon gore and her comebacks were just painfully pathetic. Something was wrong with her, and hey, if he couldn't beat on humans the least he could do was make their life hell in other ways - he owed that to his kind!

Suddenly he was aware that Buffy had stopped walking right in front of him, causing him to bump into her back.

"What is your deal tonight, luv?" he asked with a shake of his head as she turned around with a half angry, half confused look.

"I don't..." she began, "I think I..." her eyes slipped closed as her knees finally gave beneath her and she blacked out. Spike's arms shot out as he reacted on instinct and caught her before she hit the ground.

Unconscious, supported by nothing but his arms around her, Spike hated himself for the fleeting moment when he thought how beautiful she was, like a fallen angel. He wasn't blind of course, he always knew she was hot, but the way she looked now brought out the poet in him that he'd so like to bury and forget. Her golden hair, her perfect skin, her bright eyes...bright eyes? Hey, weren't they closed a minute ago?

"What the hell are you doing?!" the Slayer tried to yell, but her brain was only half in gear and it came out of more of a groaned complaint.

"Stopping you from bloody well hitting your head on soddin' rocks" he said grumpily, "ungrateful bint"

She wanted to punch him for that, really wanted to bring back her arm and smack him hard, maybe bust his nose, but Buffy found that every movement, no matter how slight, made another wave of nausea wash over her.

Throughout the day, actually throughout the past couple of weeks, she'd felt sick and wobbly on occasions, but she just put it down to the stress of juggling her Slayer duties with her new college life. Still, Buffy was not accustomed to feeling this amount of illness, the only times she could recall were years ago when she was a little kid, and those two times more recently when Giles was part of a plot to take her Slayer powers away, and then that one time she'd actually ended up in hospital...why was Spike still holding her? her mind suddenly screamed and she did her best to pull away and put her weight back on her own feet. She swayed slightly and swallowed back further sickness and found she could just about manage to walk away with a little dignity.

"Don't ever touch me again" she spat as she turned and exited the graveyard, leaving Spike behind. The vampire sighed and shook his head, that woman would be the death of him. The way things were going, she probably wouldn't even need a stake to do it.

A few metres away, Buffy stumbled out of the graveyard, steadying herself on the gateposts at the exit. She was glad Spike had decided not to follow her, but she hated that she'd had any reason to be close to him. With a deep breath she pulled herself up and made her way back to her dorm room. A good nights sleep was all she needed, maybe a lie-in since she didn't have classes too early tomorrow, that was all she needed she was sure.

The ringing of the phone woke Buffy with a start, but all sitting up fast seemed to achieve was making her feel like she was going to throw up. Glancing across to Willow's bed she realised the red-head wasn't there, before the harsh ring of the phone reminded her why she was awake in the first place.

"Hello?" she said groggily, pulling the receiver to her ear and flopping back on her bed, the wire barely reaching the distance it was stretched across.

"Hey Buff" Xander's cheery voice greeted her ears, "You feelin' okay?" he checked, "You don't sound so great"

"You just woke me up is all" the Slayer complained, forcing her eyes to remain open and turning slightly to see the clock on the table.

"Buff, I know when friends spend time together their habits rub off on each other but even I get up before one on the afternoon!" the boy laughed as Buffy realised he was telling the truth, the numbers on the clock face finally coming into focus.

"I didn't realise" she said quietly, more to herself than to her friend. Deciding it didn't matter for the time being she asked Xander why he'd called.

"Oh, well, its about my evil dead 'house-guest'" he began, Buffy could almost hear the air-quotes, "he plans on getting his ass out of my place tonight but I have a shift at the pizza place, and since I don't trust the demon not to steal my stuff or just trash the place before he gets lost..."

"You want me to baby-sit the vamp?" Buffy guessed, with an unimpressed sigh. The past week, ever since that incident in the graveyard, she'd managed to avoid Spike most of the time. Now she was forced to spend a certain amount of her evening in his company, him giving her that self-satisfied smirk that he'd seen her weak for a moment, seen her let her guard down, helped her kill a demon that might have killed her if not for him.

"I know it's a lot to ask Buff, I mean you trying to juggle the college thing and the Slay-age, not to mention the new guy in your life..." Xander rambled on as Buffy thought briefly of Riley. He was sweet and kind and admittedly not bad looking, plus he knew about the demon-fighting, he worked for a government organisation that did almost exactly what she herself did, and that should have brought them closer together...but it didn't. She felt further from him because he'd lied and kept things from her, just like Angel had done. Of course she'd been just as secretive, but she felt she had the right - sacred destiny and all.

"Buff?" Xander prompted her for an answer for the third time and with a slight shake of her head the Slayer came back to the present.

"Oh yeah, Xan, sorry" she apologised, "I'll head over to yours as soon as the sun sets, okay?"

"Thanks Buffy" her friend grinned, "I owe you one"

They said their goodbyes and Buffy hung up the phone before flopping back amongst the bed clothes. Her hands landed across her stomach and she frowned, lifting the sheets and inspecting her body. Was she putting on weight? She frowned at the thought. She didn't really get fat or un-fit, one of the better parts of the Slayer deal. As Willow once said, she was naturally buff Buff!

With a shrug and a sigh, Buffy pulled herself out of bed and got dressed, forcing back further feelings of nausea as she checked her schedule and made her way towards her first afternoon class. She'd only missed one lecture that morning and she was pretty sure she could get some notes from a friend and sweet-talk the teacher...at least she hadn't missed Professor Walsh's Psychology class!

Buffy was fairly pleased with herself. She'd managed to get through her afternoon classes, do some extra studying, and make herself look pretty good before she headed over to Xander's place. The plan was to make sure Spike got out without taking Xand's stuff with him, or mindlessly trashing the place just for fun, then she was Bronze-bound for some quality time with her boyfriend. That sounded weird even in her own head. She and Riley had been getting close for a while now and she'd kissed him during that silence thing with the Gentleman. Since then there had been issues, especially when the truth came out about him being an Initiative commando and her being the Chosen One. But she still liked him and he still liked her and the more she thought about dumping him, the more petrified Buffy got. Did she want to be alone? Did she want to be the kind of girl who couldn't make a normal relationship work? Of course not, so she'd accepted what had happened and moved on.

Two nights ago, on her birthday, there had been some major kissage, on her bed. Obviously she'd been enjoying herself, Riley knew what he was doing, but a part of Buffy found herself comparing his kisses and touches with those of Angel, and a truly disturbing part of her brain reminded her how good it had felt to act that way with Spike just a couple of weeks ago under Willow's 'will be done' spell. Of course, Buffy hadn't actually gotten a choice about how far she went with her Riley because Willow had burst in and dragged them off to a surprise birthday bash, but she was pretty glad they hadn't gone too far just yet. She'd jumped head-first into her relationship with Angel and that had ended badly, then there was the thing with Parker...

Buffy shook her head of all her crazy mixed up thoughts as she arrived at the door to Xander's basement. She knocked once before entering the room to find Xander and Spike yelling at each other.

"That's my radio!" Xander bellowed as Spike held the offending item in his hands, "You're trying to steal my radio?!"

"Yeah, I'm evil" the British vamp replied, looking at the boy as if he were stupid, "What you expected me to not try and nick the half-decent stuff you've got?"

"No, he expected it" Buffy told him as she came in, taking the radio out of his hands as she walked past to stand by her friend, "That's why I'm here"

"Again Buff, I totally owe you one" the brunette gripped her shoulder in a friendly gesture as he pulled on his striped Pizza Palace shirt and left with a wave.

"Alone at last, eh Slayer?" the bleached blond leered, "Seems you've been avoiding me of late"

"I've always tried to avoid you Spike" she told him with a smile full of fake-sweetness, "Part of my plan for not regurgitating my meals" she told him nastily, though she realised her insult was all tied in to the truth. She'd come close to, or had actually thrown up, many times lately, with or without Spikes help!

"Fine, have it your way" the vampire shook his head as he grabbed his cigarettes and lighter from the table, shoving them into the pockets of his duster that hung on the back of the chair.

Buffy watched with disinterest as he checked the pockets through again and looked around the room as if he'd forgotten something - Buffy couldn't think of anything he might be leaving behind, he didn't have a whole lot to begin with.

Suddenly her thought process was interrupted by a bleeping sound and she frowned as she saw Spike head for the washing machine, his back to her.

"What the hell are you doing now?" she asked incredulously, stalking over to him and grabbing his arm to turn him around.

He scowled as she caught sight of the bottle of fabric softener in his hand.

"When it bleeps I put the stuff in, okay?" he snapped, doing just what he'd said, "What with me having the handicap and all and my only supply of blood coming from the Whelp, I didn't have much choice but to..." Spike's sentence tailed off as he noticed Buffy had her eyes closed and was leaning back against the wall, an unhealthy look on her face.

"You feeling alright, Slayer?" he asked with a frown, "Not gonna chuck again are you?" he checked with a distasteful shudder, he'd seen quite enough of her insides in the graveyard last week.

"I'm fine" she lied, the smell of the fabric softener making her stomach turn. It was strange, she realised since she usually loved that spring fresh fragranced stuff, just like her Mom always used, but right now it was really making her feel...she swallowed hard and lowered herself to the floor, head resting on her bent knees as she leant her back against the wall.

Spike wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but he didn't trust the Slayer right now. She was acting weird and he was practically helpless if she turned on him. Cautiously he recapped the bottle in his hand and put it down, gingerly walking over to Buffy and crouching down in front of her.

"Buffy?" he prompted a reaction from her but didn't seem get one, neither of them really paid attention to the fact he'd actually used her name for once, "You okay, luv?" he checked again, slightly surprised by the fact that it bothered him. He guessed he just didn't like the idea of her popping off of her own accord when he wanted to be the one to end her days, same as when that demon tried to take her down in the graveyard last week. Yeah, that had to be what it was.

"I'm fine, really" her voice was small when her head finally rose slightly and she tried to drag herself to her feet, still lying about how well she really felt. Spike backed up sharply as she got to her feet and stepped forward. He still wasn't entirely sure that this wasn't some kind of trap, a trick of some sort that ended with his getting decidedly dusty.

"Get out of my way, Spike" Buffy ordered weakly as she walked forward. With nowhere much to go in the cluttered basement and her wobbling from side-to-side as she moved, the vampire had no choice but to back up, eventually tripping on the edge of the table and landing in the chair he'd been sleeping in these passed few days.

Putting a hand to head, feeling suddenly more dizzy than she even had before, Buffy pitched forward and fell in a dead faint - right on top of Spike.

For a moment he considered pushing her off. He didn't want some filthy Slayer on him...but she was still a woman and despite the demon within he was still a man. She was warm and soft against him, and memories of being this close to her before flooded into his mind - the effects of Red's spell a couple of weeks back. Though he'd never admit it to anyone but himself, those few hours, believing he was in love and getting married, were the happiest he had ever known.

Coming back to the present, Spike carefully manoeuvred the Slayer on top of him so he could sit up, cradling her unconscious form on his lap. She looked so peaceful, he'd wager she didn't get a lot of quiet time being all Chosen and everything.

In the silence of the room he could hear just her even breathing and the constant thump of her beating heart. Daring to hold her a little tighter, just to feel that closeness again, he realised there was a third sound coming from inside of her. It was very faint and barely audible but with his vampire hearing, being so close to her, and having such quiet surroundings, meant Spike was able to hear this tiny sound, like a tapping at high speed. With a gasp he looked up at the Slayers face, wondering if she had any idea that two hearts beat within her. She was carrying a child.

When Buffy opened her eyes she wasn't entirely sure where she was. In front of her Spike paced up and down the room and she suddenly remembered what was going on. She'd passed out in Xander's basement whilst she should have been making sure Spike left quietly. But why had she passed out again?

"You're awake" Spike commented pointlessly, finally standing still and looking down at her still lying on the chair, "Was beginning to think you'd sleep the night away"

"What did you do to me?" Buffy asked, looking around warily as she immediately took up a seated but defensive type stance.

"I didn't do anything you daft bint" he complained at having been accused, "Cute little government chip stuffed up my brain, remember?" he gestured to his own head and Buffy was just sick of playing games. Her eyes darted around as if checking the place for traps and Spike rolled his eyes.

"What is it you think I've done?" he asked her loudly, "Wired up the place while you were out of it so you can't leave without getting fried? Or maybe you think I've got a couple of demon mates hidden behind the door to do you over for me when you try to leave? News flash, pet" he said right in her face, "My world does not revolve around you"

"I've had enough of this" she shook her head as she stood up, thankfully feeling quite a bit better now, "Just get out already!" she yelled.

"I got something to say first" he shouted back angrily, standing right up close to her. Determined not to back down and look weak for a third time in his presence, Buffy stood toe-to-toe with the vampire, knowing he couldn't physically harm her at least.

"Then say it" she said dangerously low, "and get the hell out of this place and my life"

Standing there, looking down on her from his few inches of extra height, Spike was struck by how young this girl looked, how young she truly was. Just nineteen years old and already she'd taken on the world and won more than once, both with his help and without, but now she was taking on a whole different world and he guessed that she probably had no idea, he'd have heard about it otherwise.

"Buffy" he said stance and face softening along with the tone of his voice, "did you know that you're pregnant, luv?"

He waited for a reaction, unsure whether it would be tears of a smack in the face or something else. It turned out to be the last thing he would have expected - she laughed.

"Oh that is just..." she choked out through breath-stealing giggles, "Is this part of some master plan to make me laugh myself to death cos that has to be the funniest and possibly stupidest thing I ever heard" she continued to force out her sentence around hearty chuckles that just wouldn't stop coming.

"I'm glad you find it so bloody amusing!" Spike yelled over the din of her laughter, "But you'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a few months time when you have to force the sprog out of you!"

Buffy stared up at his face and the look on it sobered her up. He seemed so serious, and suddenly things started to make sense. The feeling faint, the throwing up, the feeling that she may have put on a couple of pounds in the stomach area.

"This can't be happening" she said flatly, turning to stare at a spot on the wall that wasn't there" tears of shock and terror formed where those of laughter had been just moments before a she sank back down to sit on the edge of the chair.

"Look at the evidence, pet" Spike implored her, "The fainting, the heaving...not to mention the fact you haven't bled since I've been here" he added the last part, more quietly, almost loathed to admit that he knew.

"What?!" she gasped suddenly and he was unsure whether she was shocked by what he'd said or if she just didn't understand. He decided to make his answer cover both forms of the question.

"I'm a vampire, pet, blood is my thing. When it's coming from a person I know about it. I've been back in Sunnyhell for weeks now, seen you almost everyday til these past few, and I know you haven't..."

"Just stop!" Buffy interrupted, wrinkling her nose in disgust and holding up a hand to silence him, "I don't need to hear this from you!"

"Yes you bloody do!" he yelled back, "Even if you don't accept the rest of it" he pointed a finger at her fiercely "you can't argue with a living heart-beat and you've got two inside of you, I heard them!"

Buffy's eyes went wide as one hand landed automatically on her stomach. Spike had heard a second heartbeat from within her, and as much as she hated it, she knew he was right when he said she hadn't had a period in while. She felt stupid for not realising quite how long it had been, but her body often got itself all out of synch and she'd been so stressed out lately, she'd just put everything, all her 'symptoms' down to that. The only other option was that Spike was telling the truth, and she truly was pregnant.

"But it's impossible, how can I be?" she rambled more to herself than to him but he answered her anyway.

"You're a big girl, and your pregnancy won't affect your memory. Don't tell me you need a diagram, luv" Spike smirked, earning himself that smack in the face he'd been due for a while. Buffy couldn't take all this in. She admitted to herself that it made sense but she and Riley hadn't gone far enough to make a baby yet and the only other person she'd slept with was...

"No, oh God no, no, no, not you, it can't be" she stammered out as she got to her feet, shaking her head and gaping at the vampire in disbelief. Spike wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand and shook his head too.

"We both know I can't" he snapped, wondering why it hurt to admit that. It's not as if he wanted to be fathering the Slayer's offspring, but it did feel a little less than manly when he had to bring up the issue of his firing blanks.

He was fairly surprised that she'd even mention their little time together, it had just been the once, well technically twice. They'd snuck into Giles' bedroom when he'd fallen asleep on the couch and then...Spike had never felt anything like the feelings she'd evoked in him, as they touched and kissed and made love, because that was what it had been, not just shagging like it'd been with others, they really had been in love. But it was all a spell and now it was over and there were bigger things to think about.

Spike shook his head to clear his thoughts and focused his eyes back on the Slayer who now had her head in her hands, rocking back and forth slightly on the chair. She was crying he realised, as he bent down to her level, residual feelings from the spell of a couple of weeks ago and memories from right now making him act more kindly than he would have usually.

"Pet, it must be your boys" he told her gently as he could, there was enough wooden stuff in the basement to sink a battle cruiser and he really didn't fancy a sharp pointy piece through his chest just because he wasn't polite enough to a hormonal Slayer, "It must be Riley's"

"It's not" she sobbed, the truth having dawned on her moments ago during Spike's bout of thoughtful silence, "it can't be, we haven't..." she seemed totally oblivious to whom she was divulging her secrets but right now all she could think of was the fact she was having a baby, and that she was going to have to tell her friends, and Giles, and her mother! And worse than all that, the father of the child, for whom there was only one candidate left.

"Oh bugger" Spike looked heavenward and sighed, "Someone up there has really got it in for you, don't they goldilocks?" she didn't move or say a word as Spike got back to his feet, "It's that stupid lunk-head you jumped the night before we fought, ain't it?"

"Parker" Buffy spat, "he's the only one" she added sadly, head still down, face hidden in her hands. It had been bad enough when she'd slept with him, only to be told the next day that it had all been for fun and that in the grand scheme of things she meant no more to him than one good night of passion. She'd tried to put it out of her head and move on, it had taken a while but she was finally dealing. Now she had a permanent reminder of what an idiot she'd been, inside her was a child made of herself and a man she'd come to loathe.

"I'm such an idiot" she started to cry again and Spike wasn't sure what to say or do next. He ought to be laughing at the pathetic-ness of the Slayer's situation, rejoicing in the fact she was emotional broken now and in a few months time would be in all kinds of glorious techni pain as she brought her squalling brat into the world. But he couldn't laugh, not when she was sitting there sobbing her heart out. He couldn't love the idea of her pain like he should, and he knew at least one of the reasons why.

Dru always had a thing for children. She used to reckon the blood tasted sweeter because they were pure, like sherbet and candy floss and such. Spike himself never had the stomach for it. Despite the demon within, the idea of slaughtering children, draining the life from such helpless and purely innocent beings, it made his stomach tighten to the point where he couldn't even consider feeding. Angelus would go with Dru when she fancied a tasty toddler and he'd find himself a grown up to play with.

There'd been once or twice when she'd had one of her crazy idea moments and tried to turn the kids she fed from - that never worked out. Child vamps were even more twisted and frightening than adults in some ways. Spike didn't like to think about it, even now.

"Er, I was supposed to be going" he stammered, picking up his coat and putting it on, checking one final time that he had everything important in the pockets - cigarettes, lighter, car keys, ridiculously small amount of cash, a couple of photos...he mentally went through his list and nodded to himself when he found every item present and correct, "Guess I'll see you around, Slayer" he attempted to be nonchalant and uncaring as he strode over to the door, leaving Buffy sobbing into her hands, but he couldn't help staring at her just a little longer than was necessary before he left.

As the door clicked shut behind the vampire, the Slayer seemed to come out of some kind of daze. She looked around the basement, rubbing at her eyes and cheeks with the backs of her hands. Spike had left and she'd barely noticed, not that his stealing of Xander's stuff was the highest priority in her mind right now.

Her mind was whirring with so many scary thoughts. What would her friends say when they found out she was having Parker's baby? Willow might be okay, Xander was always hard to figure, Giles would be disappointed in her and her mother would be worse. Angel would hit the ceiling, after he'd finished passing out from shock, and then there was Riley, what the hell was she supposed to say to him? And the father of the child himself, that was a whole other thing to deal with. Could she continue to slay in her condition? Should she? What would happen with her studies and college?

Upstairs a bottle hit the wall and shattered. Xander's parents were having another drunken bout, the yelling started up right after the crash of the glass, and soon there was the slamming of doors and general cursing filtering through the ceiling above her.

Buffy couldn't think in this place, she needed to get away. Pulling herself up she ran out of the door and pounded down the street. Willow had said she might not come home tonight and Buffy only hoped that were true. She needed to be alone to think right now, though she doubted it would do any good. She'd got herself into an awful mess and no amount of thinking was going to fix it, no amount of crying either, but as she entered her dorm room and collapsed on her bed, she knew she hadn't cried her last tears for tonight, not even close.

A week passed and still Buffy carried her child and her secret. She'd taken a total of five pregnancy tests, five different brands from five different drug stores, but every single one gave the same result. She was pregnant, and the only possible candidate for the father was a louse called Parker Abram's that had spun her line and used her for a one night stand.

So far she hadn't found a way to tell her friends or family about this, not even her boyfriend, though she was sure some of the gang were suspicious that something weird was going on. Buffy had been waking up and going to bed with terrible nausea and she'd almost knocked Willow off her feet one morning as she barrelled past to the bathroom to vomit.

On various occasions Giles, Xander, Willow, Riley, they'd all asked her if she was feeling okay when she'd half fallen asleep or looked a little pale whilst researching or sitting in class or at the Bronze. She'd lied out-right and said she was fine, just stressed out or didn't sleep well last night or whatever, anything to get them off her case. She'd also avoided visiting her Mom for fear of having one more person questioning her.

She figured out from her calendar she must be almost three months into pregnancy. She was just starting to show, which so far hadn't been much of a problem, since it was barely a bump and she just wore her baggier clothes most of the time.

The other thing that it meant was she'd pretty much run out of time if she wanted to abort the child, but even knowing it had been formed by such an alliance as it had, Buffy felt there was no way she could get rid of her baby. It might be a part of Parker but above and beyond that it was a part of herself and she wasn't going to let it go.

These past seven days, she'd avoided patrol, hoping the Initiative was doing what it was supposed to be, in ridding Sunnydale of it's demon population. Part of the reason was because of the baby, she didn't want to get into a situation where it might be harmed, but she had to admit another large reason was a certain vampire named Spike.

The only other being in the whole world that knew she was pregnant and it was one of her sworn enemies. Okay so Spike had fought on her side more than once and he was handicapped these days, but she hated the fact he knew her secret, when even her boyfriend had no idea.

Poor Riley, Buffy did feel so bad for the way she'd been around him lately. She was less that willing for him to touch her since she found out she was carrying a child, firstly for fear of his realising she was slightly bigger than a few months ago and second because she wasn't sure if getting physical with him might damage the baby. To be honest, she didn't know much about being pregnant. Of course there had been what she'd heard in sex ed class and her mother had sat her down and given her the whole contraception speech but no-one ever gave her a lecture on how to cope if you found out you were pregnant - no-one ever expected it to happen like this, least of all Buffy herself.

So many thoughts were spinning around in her head, mostly about the baby but also worries about Riley and his situation with the Initiative - there was definitely something weird going on with them. Professor Walsh now knew she was the Slayer and had said she wanted Buffy to visit the operation beneath the college. She wanted to run tests, see how the Slayer functioned, combine the skills of the government institution and the Chosen One. So far Buffy had managed to avoid it all by avoiding the Professor and even Riley to a certain extent. How could she have physical tests when she was trying to keep her bodies biggest secret just that? She still attended Psychology class but always snuck in and out amongst crowds of other students, hoping not to be noticed too much, so far she'd been managing pretty well.

Tonight, Riley was with out his fellow commandos, Willow was over at her new friend Tara's and Buffy was alone in her dorm room. Alone meant quiet and that meant more time to think scary baby-related thoughts. Sometimes she really wanted to tell someone, mostly Willow who she was pretty sure would sympathetic, or maybe her Mom, or Giles since he'd been feeling so out of the loop lately, but when it came to the crunch she always bottled out, too afraid of someone voicing what she already thought herself - she'd been an idiot and she deserved all she got.

In frustration the Slayer decided to do what her destiny said she must - go kill evil things. Just a quick sweep of the nearest cemeteries shouldn't be too dangerous, if she was careful and didn't try anything too dangerous for her body and her baby. Staking some evil undead fiends was just what Buffy needed right now, it'd take her mind off things for a little while - something had to, or she was gonna go crazy!

- - - - - - - - -

The night was going pretty well. So far Buffy had fought and staked two fledgling vamps without much trouble at all. She was beginning to think it might be time to call it a night when a strange tingle shot down her spine. Another vampire was close by, behind her. Concentrating, the Slayer spun around and reached out an arm to grab a shadowed figure by the throat as he ventured around the side of a crypt.

"Slayer" the vampire smirked, not at all bothered that Buffy had a hand to his throat and a stake to his heart "it's been a while"

"Not long enough" she complained, letting go of him and stepping back "I thought you'd left town, Spike"

"Cried for my loss did you, pet?" he asked, raising a scarred eyebrow as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it "Don't fret, sweetheart" he said, blowing out smoke, "I'm not leaving good old Sunnyhell til I get this lump of brain-frying silicon out of my cranium" he told her, pointing to his head. Buffy smiled sweetly as she replied;

"You have to have a brain in order to get it fried" she turned to walk away but Spike wasn't ready for her to leave yet, he was having too much fun.

"Ooh, Slayer" he almost laughed "See the pregnancy's done nothing for your verbal fighting skills"

"Get lost, Spike" she said, spinning on her heal, raising her stake once again "or I swear to God..."

"Hey now, calm down" Spike urged her, casually leaning back on the crypt wall as he smoked his cigarette "Shouldn't let yourself get so worked up, not in your condition" the smirk that adorned his face had to be the most annoying expression he owned, Buffy thought fleetingly as she got more and more frustrated.

"You...you don't know anything!" she yelled, with a dramatic gesture. Spike didn't seem at all bothered by her outburst. He enjoyed sparring with the girl, and if the only way to do that these days was verbally, well then he'd make do with that.

"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you, pet?" he said, dropping the butt of the cigarette on the ground and crushing it beneath his boot "But I'll bet I'm still the only one who knows about your nibblet" he gestured towards her stomach and Buffy's arm wrapped itself around her middle of it's own accord.

"Don't you ever shut up!" she complained, knowing he couldn't harm her but feeling strangely protective of the child inside of her. She hated that he was right about her not telling anyone else about her pregnancy, but there was no way she was admitting that. She didn't need to, her lack of argument was all the answer he needed.

"I'm right, aren't I?" he took great delight in realising "You haven't even told Joyce, have you? Or Red or the Whelp? Not even dear old Rupes?" he'd been walking toward her this whole time and now stood just inches away "Tut-tut Slayer" he shook his head and wagged his finger at her "Don't you trust your mates to be supportive...but then like I said to Angel" he sighed "it is a little slutty to be sleeping with the very first idiot that tries it on"

Buffy's fist reacted before her brain or anything else did, her knuckles connecting with the bridge of Spike's nose, making blood flow down the vampire's face.

"Hey!" Spike yelled as he reeled back, clutching his probably broken nose "That bloody hurt! Bitch!"

The Slayer advanced on him, stake raised, she'd had enough of this, for tonight at least. Spike backed up, knowing he couldn't hit her back without making his newly acquired headache ten times worse, and he soon found his back against the crypt wall again, Buffy just an inch or two away with a stake pressed to his breast-bone.

"Now listen to me, and listen good, Spike" she said in a low voice that he didn't know she possessed "I've cut you some slack, given your handicap and all, but you keep this up, the smart-ass comments, the attitude problem, you might find yourself meeting a very dusty end"

'Is it wrong,' Spike wondered 'that I am totally turned on by this?'

He didn't get a chance to think of an answer to his own question as his eyes flitted up from her gaze to beyond her shoulder.

"Duck" he said simply, making Buffy frown.

"What?" she asked him in confusion and then her world went black. Again she was unconscious, again she landed in Spike's arms who caught her easily, as a Belua demon stood in her place, roaring loudly. The vampire took a chance, hoisting the Slayer higher in his arms, freeing up some room to bring up his leg and kick the demon where he assumed it would be painful. Thank God this type of nasty had it's balls in the obvious place!

Spike took the opportunity to lay Buffy on the ground to the side of the crypt before turning back to face the demon. He vamped out, screaming a war cry as he launched himself forward. The fight was on, but not for long. Despite the demon being larger and nastier looking than the vampire, he did not have as much strength or skill. Within moments it was on the ground, a beaten mess of green flesh and purple blood. Running a hand back through his hair to remove the demon's slimy blood, Spike shifted out of game face and strolled over to Buffy, still out cold on the ground. Wiping his hands on his black jeans, he crouched down beside her and reached a hand out to her face. Again he was struck by her beauty and the angelic innocence that she possessed as she peacefully slept. Listening intently he heard her hearts regular thump and that tiny little sound that her stomach was emitting. Both mother and child were still alive and for reasons Spike couldn't begin to explain, he was relieved.

Still, he considered leaving her there. Maybe some other nasty would come and finish her off before the night was out, or maybe those Soldier boys would capture her and shove a chip up her brain so she could no longer beat on him. The more he thought about all the horrible fates that could befall her, the more protective Spike felt over the girl, the constant thud of her heart and patter of the child's acting as a background rhythm for his strange thoughts and feelings.

With a shake of his head, not really understanding why he was doing it, Spike scooped the Slayer up in his arms and carried her into the crypt, laying her down on the stone sarcophagus that had served as his bed these passed few nights.

Realising his precious coat had also suffered in the fight with the Belua demon, Spike slipped off the leather item and hung it over another coffin across the room. As he returned, Buffy started to stir. He leaned over her, hands resting on the edge of the stone coffin as she opened her eyes, one hand going straight to her head.

"What is it with you and blacking out on me, Slayer?" he asked with a smirk. Seemingly not yet sure of where she was or what was happening, Buffy made no quick movements.

"What hit me?" she asked sluggishly, eyes flickering open and closed as her hand clutched her aching skull.

"That would be a rather nasty bugger called a Belua demon" Spike informed her as he watched her try to sit up. Wary of her as she moved, he backed up a step.

"Ohh..." she groaned as she finally got into a sitting position and her eyes focused to the light, or lack thereof "Where the hell am I?" she gasped, seeing the place for the first time.

"My new digs" Spike said simply, arms spread wide, encouraging her to take in the whole room "It's just a crypt but it's home, as of yesterday anyway" he shrugged when she looked unimpressed.

"It's gross" she grimaced, swinging her legs over the side of the sarcophagus and wondering if putting her feet on the ground was a good idea yet.

"Hey, do I come to your home and make nasty remarks?" the vampire snapped, sounding decidedly offended. Buffy sighed in frustration.

"I wouldn't let you into my home, Spike" she reminded him, thinking now it was best to try to stand and at least walk out of the door without stopping - anything just to get away from the annoyance known as Spike!

"You did before" he tilted his head as he observed her placing her feet on the ground, seeming to test her weight on her legs.

"That was different" she shrugged, still watching her lower limbs as she stood up and found she only swayed very slightly.

"Seem more than willing to let just about anyone into your home" Spike observed, another smirk itching to form on his lips as Buffy walked passed him "and into your bed" he added the smirk breaking forth as the Slayer turned back too fast and almost knocked herself over. Spike's hand shot out to steady her but she knocked it away.

"Easy Slayer" he threw his hands up in mock-surrender "it was just a joke. God your wound bloody tight lately, must be your soddin' hormones or something" he complained as she put her hand back to her head.

"What is with your obsession with my pregnancy?" she asked wearily, just inches from the door "It's not like you know anything about it"

"I'll bet I know more than you do" he shot back, almost nastily as he fumbled in the pockets of his lately discarded duster for another cigarette.

"Exactly how many pregnant women have you taken care of Spike?" Buffy crossed her arms over her chest as she faced up to him. He kept his back to her as he looked for the cigarettes that he would never find - he'd smoked the last one just moments ago.

"One" she heard him quietly reply "my mother"

"Your mother?" the Slayer repeated in disbelief, wondering if she heard him correctly, or maybe he was lying, but why would he?

"When I was alive, obviously" the vampire told her, giving up in his task of looking for fags, instead fiddling with the lighter in his hands "Dad passed on when I was just a little bit, seven years old, Mum found out two weeks later she was gonna have another kid" his eyes remained mostly on the silver coloured item on his hands, only occasionally flitting up to catch the Slayers gaze.

"So then your poor mother had to put up with two pains in the ass instead of just you?" Buffy showed her own version of a smirk, arms still folded. She wasn't buying this crazy talk, not from Spike...but he did look kinda genuine.

"No" Spike said not quite nastily, his gaze locking onto hers now, almost scaring her "my sister barely lived long enough to see the sun rise once" he said coldly, the ice blue of his eyes almost cutting her in two. Buffy shivered involuntarily.

"I'm sorry" she said softly when he finally looked away. He may be a monster now but once he was a human being and he'd lost a tiny baby sister when he was just a child himself. Again one of Buffy's arms slipped down to her middle, where the barely existed child resided.

Spike said nothing, the Slayer guessed he was embarrassed by his confession or maybe just saddened by the memory...but vampires couldn't feel, could they? Not without a soul, at least that's what she'd always been told. Could Giles and the Watchers possibly have been wrong? If she didn't know better Buffy would say yes.

"I should really go..." she said quietly as she exited the crypt, the sound of the door banging behind her catching Spike's attention.

He really wasn't sure what had made him tell her that, about his mother and his sister. From the day it happened to now he'd never spoken of it to another being, and had never intended to, least of all sharing his past with a Slayer! But Buffy was different, he'd known that from the first moment he'd laid eyes on her, and now she was carrying a child, another fact that set her apart from other Slayer's he'd met. What was really bothering Spike was why he felt so protective of her ever since he found out.

"Soddin' chips trying to turn me into a nancy-boy" he complained to himself, as he set about cleaning his precious coat.

Outside the door Buffy had only just now managed to find the strength to walk. The thump to her head had made her feel bad enough but hearing Spike talk about the family he had as a human, that had really messed with her mind. She'd always thought vampire's weren't really the human's they looked like, just a demon that takes that persons face, but Spike had memories, and more than that he seemed to have feelings. She shook her head, telling herself it was ridiculous to think of him as anything more than a worthless demon, but she just couldn't help it. She'd seen a glimpse of the man behind the monster, and it was scary to realise that she almost liked him.

Buffy went out patrolling again the night after her little meeting with Spike, not really for the staking of undeads but more just to see the one vamp that was proving to be so different to the rest, and without the aid of a soul.

Buffy had felt so bad for Spike as he'd talked about his mother when he'd been human, and the loss of his baby sister who barely lived to be a day old. It made her think more seriously about the vampire, and the man he used to be. It also made her think about her own child differently.

At first, when she'd found out she was pregnant, the Slayer had serious doubts. Surely it was a bad thing to be having a child at nineteen, after a one night stand with a louse of man. She still believed it wasn't the smartest thing but she had a life inside of her now, a being that was a living part of her, that would one day be a person. It was incredible when she thought about it that way, and the idea of being a mother, although scary, was also a beautiful thing. More than that, it was a thing that not every woman would get to experience.

Buffy had to admit that what Spike had told her made her worry too. Life was fragile, and not just hers, but the life of her child too. What if the fate of William's little sister befell her baby? That thought seemed to scare her more than any demon, vampire, or apocalypse she'd ever faced.

For reasons she didn't understand at all, Buffy felt that if she could just talk to Spike again, maybe they would both feel better about their situations. It couldn't make things any worse, she reasoned, and he really was the only one she could talk to about her pregnancy right now, the only one that knew the truth.

"Spike?" the Slayer called as she let herself into his crypt. She'd stood outside the door for a while, wondering whether she was supposed to knock or whatever, or even if she should be doing this at all. Eventually she just decided to walk in.

"Slayer" he looked dubiously at her as he got up from his newly-stolen arm-chair, "Wondered how long you'd stay standing outside that door before you got the courage to bust in" he smirked, sensing her there for the past ten minutes. Buffy immediately regretted coming here.

"Why did I bother?" she said more to herself than to him, before speaking more loudly, "Y'know I actually came here cos I felt bad for you, because I thought..." she stopped short and sighed "It doesn't matter, I should've known better" she turned to leave, frustatred by behaviour that she should have expected from him and would have done, if not for last night.

"I don't need your sympathy, luv" he called after her, "anymore than you need mine"

She turned back from the door to look at him, anger subsiding slightly. He was such a liar.

"It's not all about sympathy, Spike" she told him. He looked at her strangely then.

"So, what is it all about?" he wanted to know, "Tell me the reason why the mighty Slayer is hanging around her mortal enemies digs on a Saturday night"

"First of all" she half-smiled as she slammed the crypt door closed and headed back in, "you're not a mortal, second you're not so much an enemy these days, and third..." her voice trailed away as she took her gaze from his, looking down at the floor, "I don't really know why I'm here"

Spike just stared at her as she in turn stared at the ground by her feet. He didn't know why she was there either, not really, and more than that he had no idea why he was glad she'd come back.

"Maybe you're here cos no-one else knows what I do" he guessed and her head snapped up at that. He was right of course but she hated to admit it.

"Maybe" she grudgingly agreed, a hand going to her stomach of it's own accord, causing her slight bump to become much more obvious as she pressed the fabric of her baggy T-shirt against it.

"Can't hide it forever, pet" Spike commented, "Sooner or later little sprog's gonna make itself known, in more ways than one"

"It's getting harder to hide" she admitted, "The worst part is I don't really know what to expect" she sighed, "I found a book in the library but I was too scared to check it out...I don't want anyone to know how stupid I've been..." her voice cracked as tears flowed down her cheeks. Her hormones were getting the better of her lately and she'd cried a couple of times for no real reason.

Her hands came up to wipe her face free of tears, but no sooner were they gone but more replaced them. It only took one small thing to set her off crying but then it was like a tidal wave as everything seemed worthy of tears.

Spike looked over at her awkwardly, wondering what he was supposed to do. What were you supposed to do when someone was crying like this? He used to like watching girls cry, used to like to be the cause of their tears, but all he felt now as he watched the Slayer sob was a sharp pain in his heart.

"Hey, come on now, Slayer" he said awkwardly, "No need for that" she continued to cry as if she hadn't even heard him and tentatively he stepped forward and reached one arm around her to rub her back. Needing a little comfort from someone who seemed to understand, Buffy stepped forward, till his arm was completely around her. Without thinking he wrapped his other arm around her too, holding her against him as she cried into his chest.

Spike did feel a little ridiculous, standing there in the middle of a crypt, his arms wrapped around a sobbing pregnant Slayer, but it also felt strangely right and very familiar. Of course, his mind was taking a trip back to that spell, when all he'd wanted to do was get as close to this girl as possible and she'd wanted the same thing. To love and to be loved, it was a wonderful feeling that he hadn't really experienced until then and all the time it had been a soddin' spell! Now though, this girl was willingly in his arms and he was strangely happy to have her there.

They stood there a while, not moving at all, and even when Buffy's tears subsided she didn't pull away. Spike carefully manoeuvred her further into the crypt towards the chair but there was no way she was gonna let go of him. With no other choice, he sat down himself, taking her with him and seating her on his lap.

This was way too much like that spell, not just the situation of her sitting on top of him but the feelings she was causing in him. He had this strange need to protect her from the world, the baby too, and he almost thought he...liked her?

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked flatly, her head on his shoulder.

"I dunno, luv" he admitted, only half aware that she'd asked a question, he was so wrapped up in being confused by his own thoughts and feelings, "Maybe you should tell your Mum or something?" he suggested.

He'd always liked Joyce. The woman had spirit and fight in her, which he assumed was why Buffy was the same. The first time he'd met Mrs Summers she smacked him over the head with a fire axe! But then she was the motherly sort too, talking to him, giving him hot chocolate and sympathy, after Dru had dumped him for that bloody Chaos Demon. Spike thought she'd probably go a little crazy when she found out her nineteen year old daughter was just over three months pregnant by some wanker she'd only slept with once, but after the initial shock, he was pretty certain she'd be supportive about it.

"I can't" Buffy answered eventually, "She's away, at a gallery thing, til next Saturday"

"So, you'll tell her when she gets back" Spike suggested, "It won't be that bad, luv" he assured her as he made her sit up straight and look at him, "Your Mum, she's the decent sort"

"I guess you're right" she sighed, wiping her face with her hands, brain still not registering that she was sitting on Spike's knees, "I mean, she wasn't too shocked when I told her I was gonna marry you" she actually laughed at that thought, plus the look of shock on the vampire's face.

"You called her when we were under the spell?" he gaped and she nodded, really starting to giggle now, even when he tipped her off of his lap and stood up.

"She's my Mom and I was so thrilled to be engaged to you" she explained, "I just thought she should know, y'know"

Spike wasn't sure whether to be more shocked that Joyce knew about it, or that she hadn't hit the ceiling about it. Obviously she had a little respect for him too, as he had for her. Surely if she could accept her daughter marrying an evil vampire, she could handle a pregnancy spawned from a one night stand with your average college boy.

"Well then" Spike said eventually, "I s'pose after next weekend, we won't have a secret anymore" he thought aloud "No more reason for you to keep on hassling me"

"Me hassle you?" Buffy scoffed, "Oh yeah, like you haven't done your fair share of following me around like a lost dog"

"I bloody well do not!" Spike yelled, suddenly wondering why the hell he'd wanted this stupid bitch anywhere near him never mind in his arms.

'Because you like her' a voice in the back of his head sang, 'Because even when you're fighting with her you still like her, still want her'

Buffy looked at him strangely as he seemed to battle with voices only he could hear. She thought about how much her relationship with him had changed over the past months and wondered if that's what was bothering him too. From enemies to almost-friends that shared a secret she couldn't tell to anyone else.

"I should go" she said eventually, deciding it was best. He didn't look as if he was comfortable with her being there any longer and she really wasn't at all happy there right now.

Buffy headed for the door, but didn't make it past Spike as his hand shot out and caught her arm. She turned back slowly and looked down at his fingers at her elbow as he did the same.

"Next Saturday, when you tell your Mum" he said, not looking up until now, "Good luck with that" he finished, eyes meeting hers as he let up his grip on her arm.

She looked touched by his concern and for the unlife of him Spike wished he knew why he cared. Feeling as if the green of her eyes were burning his own retinas with their brightness he turned away and waited for her to leave, but she didn't move at all.

"Would you be there?" she asked, almost inaudibly. Spike frowned as he turned back, thinking he surely must have heard her wrong.

"When I tell my Mom about the baby" she started again, still very quiet, "would you be there for me, please?"

She looked genuinely scared, something that should have thrilled Spike. He was a vampire, she was the Slayer. She was terrified and he should be pleased to see her suffer...but he wasn't. Maybe it was that spell when he'd thought he loved her, maybe it was because of the chip in his head, maybe it was something else entirely but he didn't love to see her fear or pain anymore, he hated it, and he'd do anything to make her feel better.

"Sure, luv" he shrugged, "Got nothin' else planned" he said, sounding nonchalant but feeling nothing like it. It was a long time since anyone had needed him for anything genuine, but here was this girl, to whom his presence seemed essential as she told her mother her biggest secret that so far only he shared with her.

Buffy had a small smile on her lips as she nodded once.

"Next Saturday, I'll come and meet you here, at sundown" she told him.

"It's a date" he agreed, with a nod of his own.

No sooner was it arranged than she was gone and Spike returned to his arm chair.

The evening was as it had been an hour ago, no evidence that anything strange had occurred at all, except for the Slayer's scent that hung in the air around him, and the slight warmth in his unbeating heart that he just couldn't explain as he thought of her.

It was becoming impossible to cover and Buffy knew the time would come sooner than she expected when she’d have to tell all her friends she was carrying a child. They were already giving her suspicious looks when she turned up at the Bronze in very non-party wear, but all her best stuff was tight and/or revealing and there was one specific part of her she needed to hide as the baby grew and her stomach along with it.

Today was Saturday and her Mom had called to say she was home from her trip and would love to see her. The Slayer knew it would happen that way and now she had to face telling Joyce she was pregnant. Part of her was glad she’d asked Spike to be there but another part wondered why the hell she had!

He was the only one that knew the truth and as such was the only person she could go to to talk about her worries and stuff. Twice during the past week she wanted to go and see him, just so she could talk about what she was feeling. The first time she’d gotten as far as the cemetery where his crypt was before she changed her mind, the second time she’d almost made it to the door before running away. It was stupid really. Stupid that she wanted and needed to be near him, and equally as stupid that she kept changing her mind about it.

Now it was the evening of their ‘date’ as he’d called it, though it really had no qualities of such an event. Neither had the two dates she’d had with Riley recently. Buffy had only agreed because Willow seemed so insistent that he was perfect for her. He wasn’t exactly as Joe Regular as she’d thought but he was definitely more normal than her last boyfriend had been. She really did want to give him a chance, but he just didn’t do anything for her lately. There was no real sparkage and she hardly let him touch her for fear of his discovering her secret.

There was no way to continue to avoid the Initiative visit and it had occurred two nights ago. Professor Walsh had asked a lot of Slayer-related questions which Buffy had answered truthfully, if not a little carefully, and then reported back to Giles about all that had happened. There was no follow through on the medical tests the Professor had originally mentioned, in fact no-one spoke of them at all and Buffy was pleased about that. She wondered afterwards if maybe Riley wasn’t as keen on her as he was on the idea of her being the Slayer and joining up with the commandos, since she hadn’t seen him these past two days.

Buffy sighed as she looked out of the window and saw the sun was setting. She had bigger things to worry about than Riley right now. She’d said she’d collect Spike from his crypt as soon as the sun was down and then she had her Mom to face. She stared into the mirror on the wall and composed herself for a moment.

"Mom, I’m pregnant" she practised, "Mommy, I think I’m having a baby...Mom, there’s something I think you should know...Hey, funny story, y’know how you get these people in colleges who sleep around..." it was hopeless, there was not going to be an easy way to explain it.

"It was easier telling her I was a Vampire Slayer" she mumbled as she pulled on her jacket and headed out. Willow was already at Tara’s and Xander was with Anya - Saturday night meant date night for them. Buffy only wished her life were that simple.

"Agent Finn, we’ve had a Polgara sighting in Breaker’s Woods, I want you to take a section out there immediately and bring it in" Professor Walsh told the young man who stared off into space, not hearing her at all.

"Agent Finn?" Maggie pressed, but still he didn’t move, "Riley?" she tried, her hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his daze and onto his feet. Standing to attention he apologised for slacking on the job.

"That’s quite alright, Riley" the Professors voice took on an uncharacteristically motherly tone, "You’ve had quite a shock this week, I understand why your mind may not be fully focused"

"It’s no excuse" Finn shook his head, "I have a job to do, I shouldn’t let my feelings for...her effect that"

"I agree" Professor Walsh nodded, "but as I said I can understand your distress. Miss Summers may be the Slayer but she is also a very foolish girl to allow herself to get into this situation. Of course she has no idea that we’re aware of her pregnancy..."

"You said there was a Polgara demon, ma’am?" Riley dared to interrupt, something he would ordinarily never do, but hearing that this girl he believed he was in love with was having a child when she wouldn’t even let him touch her, it made him feel so stupid for believing she cared.

"I did, Agent" Walsh let Riley’s slight disrespectfulness slide on this occasion as she began to explain his latest mission to him.

"Spike?" the Slayer called as she entered the crypt. He suddenly appeared through a trapdoor in the centre of the floor, making the Slayer physically jump.

"Sorry, luv" he smirked, not looking in the least apologetic, "Did I scare ya?"

"No" she lied, shifting uncomfortably, even more so when he continued to stare at her, "What’s your problem?" she asked in annoyance and Spike shook his head.

"I dunno" he admitted, frowning hard as he walked over to her, "It’s the weirdest thing..." he trailed off as he leaned in closer to her and Buffy instinctively moved backwards.

"Spike, you’re being creepy" she told him, not impressed at all "even more so than usual" she amended as she walked past him into the crypt and he continued to look at her strangely, "Are you ready to go get this over with or what?"

"Sure thing, pet" he said after a moment, shaking his head to take himself out of the daze he’d been in. He opened the door of his home and waited for Buffy to go through. She looked at him oddly now, not accustomed to this gentlemanly side of him, though perhaps she should be, after all he’d been good to her since he found out about the baby, saved her life, and comforted her when she cried. With a shrug she went through the door and he followed, before they walked side by side towards Revello Drive, neither one saying much for over half the journey, until...

"Once you’ve told Joyce, you’re gonna have to tell your mates y’know" the vampire pointed out, "That bumps not gonna get any smaller" he gestured towards her stomach "and you look a mess in that outfit"

"Thanks Spike" she shot back incredulously, "Way to make a girl feel better - tell her she’s fat and badly dressed"

"Evil, luv" he smirked as he pointed out the fact, "not exactly here to make you feel better"

"Then why are you here?" she asked as they stopped outside her house.

He stared right into her eyes when he answered and the intensity of the moment made a delightful shiver run down her spine.

"Because you asked me" he said slowly, his gaze seeming to add a slight questioning tone to the statement, as if he wondered why he’d been asked to come along. Buffy only wished she could tell him but she wasn’t certain herself.

They were standing so close, his half-asked question left unanswered, the moonlight through the trees making shadows on her face, and for an insane moment Spike really wanted to kiss her. It was crazy, he knew it, and yet even though he didn’t make the move to do it, he couldn’t seem to force himself to move away from her either.

"We should get inside" Buffy broke the silence with her words, finally bringing the vampire out of his trance. That was the second time he’d gone all stare-y tonight and she was beginning to get a little wigged. The only good thing about Spike’s strange behaviour was it served to take her mind off her nerves, but now was the moment, as she stood on the front porch, about to let herself into the house, when she was truly thankful for his presence.

"I’m so glad you’re here" she breathed, without looking at him as she opened the door and let herself into the house. He stood stunned for just a second before he followed her. It seemed it really did mean a great deal to her that he was being understanding, truth was it bothered him that he cared. He was a vampire, a demon, an evil Slayer-killing machine...at least he had been. Now he was willingly entering the house of the current Chosen One to support her as she told her mother she was almost four months gone courtesy of the local Uni’s resident Casanova. Was he completely off his bird? Or was there something else at work here...?

"Buffy, I’m so glad you came" Spike was taken from his thoughts as Joyce flung her arms around her daughter.

"Hey Mom" the girl greeted her mother, "I hope you don’t mind that I brought Spike along" she gestured in his general direction and the vampire held out a hand to Joyce.

"Mrs Summers, nice to see you again" he said politely, after all the woman had been decent to him last time he’d been here, and she had no real reason to like him.

"Spike" she nodded a greeting, taking the offered hand and smiling as he kissed it before letting go, "How did things work out with...Drusilla, was it?" she tried to remember. When Spike looked away, Joyce turned to her daughter who make a cutting motion across her neck with her hand, the time-honoured signal for ‘stop talking about that!’

"Or perhaps that’s none of my business" Mrs Summers floundered, "Perhaps I should get us all a drink while you two sit down, er, I seem to remember you like hot chocolate Spike" she tried her best to make amends and felt she succeeded as the vampire grinned.

"Hot chocolate would be great, thanks" he told her, and Buffy’s mother went off to fetch the drinks as he and the Slayer sat down on the sofa together.

"This is it" Buffy closed her eyes and tried to breathe, "As soon as she comes back..."

"You’ll be fine, Slayer" he assured her, fingers finding hers on the cushion between them and squeezing them gently. Buffy couldn’t help but smile at the gesture, as Joyce came in with a tray containing three mugs of hot chocolate and a dish of mini marshmallows. Spike grinned again - she’d remembered.

"So" the older woman said as she sat down in the chair opposite, but she was prevented from saying anymore as Buffy spoke up.

"Mom, I kind of have to tell you something..." she said quietly, gaining strength from the hand that held hers, despite it’s coldness, "I’m not sure that you’re going to be very happy about it but I think you should hear it from me instead of finding out later"

"Oh my God" Joyce gasped, her hand going to her mouth as she spotted the joined hands, "You two are in love?" she guessed, "I mean really, or has Willow done another spell?" she frowned and Buffy couldn’t figure out why her Mom seemed to be smiling at the idea of her dating Spike! Although she’d really been pretty reasonable when she’d thought they were engaged before.

Spike smirked, leaning back into the sofa as Joyce continued to switch expressions between pleased and confused, as Buffy let go of his hand like it was poisonous and stared open-mouthed at her mother. He could easily have spoken up, explained that he was in fact not dating the Slayer and had no plans to do so, ever. He could also blurt out the truth in a nice blunt matter and devastate the both of them. The old Spike would have done all that in a heartbeat, someone else’s obviously since he didn’t have one of his own, but still...and yet he didn’t say a word. Sure he was sort of enjoying the uneasy silence, and the confusion/shock that both Summers women were experiencing, but he thought he’d retained more of his evil streak than this, despite his chip. Good God, he hoped he wasn’t turning into that poof Angel! If he thought that were true Spike would stake himself on the spot!

"Mom, me and Spike, we’re not....this has nothing to do with..." Buffy began to ramble, but when she paused to think of a further coherent sentence, Joyce jumped in feet first again.

"Oh sweetheart, you don’t have to feel bad about it" she assured her little girl, "I understand the world a lot better now, the job you do and everything, and Spike was very pleasant to talk to when he visited last year..."

"Mom, I am not dating Spike!" Buffy yelled, just wanting this to be over, "I’m pregnant!"

For a moment there was absolute silence and Spike was sure, even without his vampire hearing, he’d have been able to hear the proverbial pin drop.

"Mommy, please say something" Buffy begged, her eyes finally spilling over with waiting tears.

Joyce let out the breath she’d been holding as she turned to Spike.

"You got my little girl pregnant?" she gasped and the vampire closed his eyes and sighed in annoyance from all the confusion.

"Oh bloody hell"

Hours that felt like days dragged past in the Summer house as Buffy explained about vampires being sterile and also the fact she had never slept with Spike anyway. That had taken the vampire by surprise, since it was a complete and utter lie, but he would wait til later to confront the Slayer about that one. Joyce had already had quite enough shocks for one night after all.

Then came the admission of the one night stand with Parker soddin’ Abrams and Buffy had cried and Joyce had cried, and Spike had gotten so uncomfortable he’d headed outside for a smoke.

Standing on the back porch, staring out at the night, again the vampire questioned the turn his life had taken. Just four months ago he was an evil bad-ass vampire, out for what he could get, his main aim being the Gem of Amara when he arrived back in Sunnyhell. He’d beat up the Slayer, knocked out the Whelp, then followed Wolf-Boy to LA and tortured the hell out of Peaches. He had Harmony there to be willingly used and abused, decent digs, and enough tasty townies to feed on every night.

Now he was effectively muzzled, dumped by yet another woman, living in a filthy crypt, and being the Slayers shoulder to cry on as she hid her unborn child from the world, friends included.

Sometimes he told himself it was all part of this elaborate plan. That he’d get the Slayer to rely on him, trust him, then he’d turn around and kill her like he’d always wanted to. Dru had reckoned he was obsessed with Buffy, not just the idea of the Slayer anymore but the actual girl. He’d tried to convince her it was all about killing her then, as he tried to convince himself now, but the more time he spent with the blonde, the more he began to wonder if it wasn’t something deeper than that. Love and hate were very closely entwined emotions, he knew that, but the only love he’d really shared with her was under that ridiculous spell that Red had cast. Surely none of that feeling was genuine, on either side...

"Hey" a soft voice spoke behind him, an ordinary man might have jumped at the sudden sound but he’d known she was there even before she spoke.

"Okay now luv?" he checked, flicking his third cigarette butt to the ground and grinding it out with his heel.

"Me and Mom talked it all out" Buffy explained, watching her feet, "I don’t think she’s ecstatic about it but she’s dealing. She promised to be there if I need her, and I think I’m really going to" she admitted with a sad smile.

"At least you’ve got someone to lean on now" he shrugged, "Guess I can piss off and you wouldn’t even miss me" he hated that it bothered him but it really did. He sort of like the fact he was needed, even if it was by someone he was supposed to have killed years before.

"I don’t..." Buffy was about to answer when her mother called her name. Her sentence was left unsaid, and Spike would never know what she was thinking at that moment. The Slayer herself was glad of that, to try to tell Spike what she felt was impossible right now. She was appreciative that he’d been, well, a friend, these past couple of weeks, and his support tonight had meant a lot but, what happened next she had no idea.

"Buffy" Joyce frowned as her daughter returned with Spike beside her "Mr Giles is on the phone, he sounds a little worried about something"

Buffy shared a look with Spike as she took the phone from her mother and put it to her ear almost afraid to ask what was wrong. Could it be that somehow he knew without her telling him?

"Hey Giles, what’s the what?" she asked as casually as she could, as Spike and Joyce looked on, hanging on every ‘yes’, ‘oh God’ and ‘I understand’. After a couple of minutes Buffy placed the receiver back in the cradle and leaned on the wall for support.

"You okay, luv" Spike checked and Buffy looked up at him with troubled eyes.

"Not exactly" she admitted "Faith’s awake"