Spike took one last look at the envelope in his hand, hesitating slightly before pushing it firmly into the mailbox. He had a job to do tonight, places to go and demons to kill. It wasn’t the first night but it could well be the last. He had to admit, as much as he called Angel a poncy bugger, he’d come up with a plan like no other, and Spike felt great respect for his grand-sire for what he was trying to achieve.

Tonight was the night they took on Wolfram & Hart, the Senior Partners, the biggest bad any of them had ever faced, and live or die it’d be worth it. One point for the good guys would be scored, even if they weren’t around to know about it after. No matter if evil struck again the moment after he was dust, Spike was just determined to get his punch in first, and go down like he’d always knew he would, fighting to the last.

Before the big fight went down, Spike had a job to do. He wasn’t far from the home of the Fall Brethren, where he must rescue the baby that was sacred to them now but would one day be a sacrifice. If he survived that, he was to meet the rest of the crew in the specified alley, to await the Senior Partners onslaught of pure hell-on-earth type violence...

"You’re supposed to wear the red stuff on the inside, Charlie-boy" Spike told Gunn who was bleeding profusely from several places. Ignoring his own pain, the human asked if the vampires had heard anything from Wesley when suddenly Illyria jumped down from the fence, landing beside Angel.

"Wesley's dead" she stated bluntly as ever, "I'm feeling grief for him, and I can't seem to control it" she told them with that strange tilt of her head, "I wish to do more violence" she almost yelled.

The gang all look towards the mouth of the alley as a great horde of demons come towards them, all clearly ready for a fight.

"Well, wishes just happen to be horses today" Spike commented.

"Among other things" Angel added, taking in the sight of the oncoming attack. Demons of every shape and size, some brandishing weapons, some too vicious in form to need anything extra than what they already possessed.

"Okay" Gunn winced from the pain that ran through his entire body but tried to hide it, "You take the 30,000 on the left...

"You're fading" Illyria interrupted, "You'll last 10 minutes at best"

"Then let’s make ’em memorable" he said suddenly finding hidden strength and pulling himself to his feet.

The four unlikely heroes stepped forward together as the rain lashed down all around them, and a dragon screeched overhead.

"In terms of a plan?" Spike yelled over the din to his grand-sire who gritted his teeth and prepared for battle.

"We fight" he said with determination and the bleached blond glanced back at him.

"Bit more specific?" he pressed, and Angel almost smiled when he replied.

"Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon" he said as the group faced their final fight "Let's go to work"

As Angel swung his sword and moved into battle, his team followed, all destined for certain death, but none-the-less determined to fight on to the bitter end.

The first thing Illyria was aware of was severe pain through the entirety of her body, as she forced open her eyes and stared down at the filthy ground she lay upon. It appeared that her eyes were one of the few things she could move without causing herself to hurt in anymore places that she already did. Still she knew she had to get up, had to fight on, for Wesley’s sake if nothing else. He gave his life for this fight and she must get revenge for him...and the others.

The memories of the fight turned her stomach. Violence she was used to, death and destruction were her tools as she ruled the planet full of lesser beings that worshipped at her feet. This had been different, violence against allies, those she had come to feel a certain respect for. Charles Gunn, sliced open by enemy blades till too many vital organs were punctured beyond repair and he fell to the ground, a useless shell. The fearless leader, Angel. He fought valiantly though his death was imminent. The sweep of a demon’s weapon about his throat separated head from body and a fine layer of dust covered the battleground. Last to fall had been her white-haired companion. It was strange for Illyria to note that even as the stake was plunged into Spike’s heart, the vampire was still smiling, still swinging his fists at anything within his reach until the final moment when he combusted into so many particles of nothingness.

How Illyria had survived she did not know as she pulled herself painfully to her feet. The rain had ceased but the entire world was dark, the alley a sea of demon bodies decorated with different coloured blood and gore. What was she to do now, who was she to fight against and who would be at her side. Her head swam from so many blows and too many thoughts and her hand went to her forehead as she glanced down at the ground.

She got the shock of her life when she saw a body she recognised at her feet, the body of Winifred Burkle, the shell she had possessed, but in the clothes she herself had worn and with the same bright blue eyes and streaked hair.

"This freaking you out too is it pet?" said a familiar voice behind her and with that strange tilt of her head she turned and observed a bleached blond figure kneeling on the ground, "This’d be the real me then" he commented, running a hand through some random dust, "Yet, here I am again, becoming a bit of a habit"

"We are dead" Illyria realised, looking down at the body at her feet and then back at Spike. The pain was gone now, it had left her along with the dizziness she had felt.

"We are dead" she repeated, "and yet we linger still"

"Guess the Powers that Screw-Over had bigger plans for you and me...not the others though" he closed his eyes and looked away from the sight of Gunn’s broken body and the spot he’d seen his grande-sire turn to ash.

"We are ghost-like figures, as you once were before" Illyria recalled from Fred’s memory bank that this floating figment of herself still possessed, "but for what purpose?" she asked her companion, moving over towards him.

"Dunno, luv" he told her, "Wish I did. S’not like we’re much use to them Powers as we are" he demonstrated by passing his hand through the solid fence beside them, "Hey wait a second..." he frowned when he realised his hand was now glowing.

"What is this?" Illyria demanded to know as she realised her own hands were also bathed in a light that was slowly spreading over her entire form as well as that of Spike. There was no time for him to answer the question, as the two became consumed by unburning fire, and their figures disappeared from sight.

Andrew always loved picking up the mail in the morning. Though for the most part it was all for either Dawn or Buffy, he often hoped he might receive a note from one of the Scoobies, as the Slayer and her sister sometimes did. He longed to have such great friends, of course much of his loner status was his own fault for murdering his last companion.

This morning, however, Andrew was in luck. Half way down the stack of mail he found a letter bearing his name. He grinned brightly as he tore open the envelope and found another smaller one inside, along with a note. The second envelope had Buffy’s name written upon it in the same flowing handwriting in which the note was scribed.

Andrew gasped as he read the words and tears sprang to his eyes. The words he read were written by Spike, one brave and heroic vampire who stood aside another, as well as two humans and a former-god. They’d taken on the most evil powers in the multiverse and the odds were stacked against them. They did not expect to survive, in fact quite the contrary, but Spike did not have it in him to leave this plane of existence without knowing he’d at least tried to gain Buffy’s forgiveness for concealing his return from her.

He asked in his letter that Andrew explain for him, since he wouldn’t get the chance. When she understood and had calmed down from the initial anger he knew she would feel, the boy was to give her the enclosed envelope, his very last words to his true love.

"Buffy!" Andrew called in a weak voice down the hall where the woman appeared, looking more than a little flustered.

"What is it Andrew? I’m kinda busy here" the Slayer complained, as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail and continually glanced back into the room she’d come from as she waited for an answer, "Come on Andrew, I can’t leave the twins for long" she reminded him. When he still didn’t answer she sighed going back into the room she’d come from.

When she emerged five minutes later, carrying two small children in a double baby-chair, Andrew was still standing exactly where he had been, one lone tear making a path down his cheek and his mouth opening and closing of it’s own accord.

"Andrew?" Buffy frowned slightly now, as she began to worry what was wrong with the boy.

"Hey, what’s going on?" Dawn asked as she emerged from her own room, yawning and stretching her arms over her head, making her tank top part company with her pyjama pants, "Oh hey, how are my two favourite nieces" she grinned when she saw the two little girls in their baby seats by the couch.

"They have to be your favourites, Dawnie, they’re your only nieces" Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled slightly, causing her sister to respond with an immature stick out of the tongue. Buffy’s attention went back to Andrew who remained as still as a statue.

"This is getting real old, real fast" Buffy complained, taking the piece of paper from his hand before he could stop her, " ‘Andrew, I don’t have much time but I need you to do something for me...’ " she read aloud, stopping short when she realised she recognised the hand-writing. Reading further, it all came together and she knew.

"Spike" she gasped his name, making Dawn glance up sharply from the twins to her sister.

"What?" she wanted to know, and both the Summer’s girls looked to Andrew for an explanation.

"Maybe we should sit down" he said quietly.

He had an incredible story to tell, a real one this time. He’d kept too many secrets from both Buffy and Spike. It was too late to make up for what he’d concealed from the vampire, but he could make amends with the Slayer, he hoped.

"What is happening?" Illyria asked as the glow around her body dissipated and she was no longer blinded by light. Spike was standing to her right, just as he had been in the alley, but they were no longer there, "I demand to know, who dares to play these foolish games with me!" she yelled, glancing around at the sheer vastness of the place in which they stood. Miles and miles of empty space, no shape, no solidity, no meaning of time or colour or anything.

"S’not just you, pet" Spike pointed out with a shake of his head, "’Nother pawn in this little game standing right here" he reminded her as he too wondered just what the hell was going on!

"Silence!" a booming voice made the vampire physically jump as it came loud and clear from above, "You will cease this noise or our favour shall be reversed"

"Favour?" Spike frowned, yelling up in the direction where the voice seemed to come from, "What favour’s this then?" he was eager to know.

"The greatest favour a person can be offered" said a familiar voice as the figure of a woman stepped out of the white void in front of the pair of new arrivals.

"Tara?" Spike squinted to bring the approaching woman into focus. The figure of the witch smiled softly.

"You earned a gift, Spike" she told him, "You and Illyria both, and if all goes well here, it will be granted to you...before the world even notices you were gone"

To Be Continued...

"How could you not tell me this sooner!" Buffy said angrily slamming her hand down on the table. The sound startled both her children, one of whom began to cry.

"Oh Ellie" the Slayer got straight up and went to her, picking her up, "Mommy’s sorry, she didn’t mean to scare you"

Hearing her sister’s apparent distress soon set off the other child and Dawn went to comfort her.

"Come on sweetie, it’s okay Chloe" the brunette said softly as she held the child close. Buffy glared at Andrew over Eloise’s head.

"What?" he said, "I didn’t make them cry"

The Slayer’s eyes narrowed further as she tried to hold back tears.

"How could you not tell me Spike was back?" she said angrily, "You knew for months and you didn’t even mention it" she ground out, desperate not to cry or to yell and upset her children even more.

"It’s not like I didn’t wanna tell" Andrew complained, "but he made me promise, and I wasn’t gonna break his promise if I wasn’t allowed to break the one I made to you" he explained, also on the verge of tears. He’d hated knowing so much and being forced to conceal it, but both Spike and Buffy had convinced him it was for the best.

"Buffy, Andrew’s right" Dawn told her sister who turned her glaring eyes to the girl, "It must have been awful for him stuck in the middle, not allowed to tell you Spike was alive, and not allowed to tell Spike that he was a Daddy"

The Slayer sighed, closing her eyes and letting tears run down her face.

"I know it’s not your fault" she directed at Andrew, "I just...I could’ve been with him, even if it wasn’t for long, I could’ve..." she broke down into noisy sobs, her sentence lost into an oblivion as she sat down on the couch with her baby in her arms.

Dawn was about to go to her when there was a knock on the door. She moved to answer it and found a familiar man on the other side.

"Oh, hi" she said awkwardly, glancing into the room at her sister and then back at the dark haired, olive skinned, undeniably gorgeous figure of their neighbour David Di Luigi. He had a crush on Buffy from the day he moved in two months ago. It had taken just seven weeks of that time before he’d asked her out, despite the fact he knew she had two small babies. Last Saturday they’d gone out for a meal, and had both made the shocking discovery that the other knew all about the demon world, slayers, vampire and all. What Davy was yet to discover was the truth about the father of Buffy’s children.

"Dawn, I came to take Buffy out for lunch, is she ready?" he asked in all innocence, not knowing what was occurring inside.

"Davy, I don’t know if now is a good time" the younger girl tried to close the door on him without appearing too rude, "I can get her to call you, if you want"

"Sure" he agreed though he was frowning hard, "It’s nothing...demonic, is it?" he asked in a whisper in case anyone in the hallway might here.

"Not really" she said after a moments consideration, "We just got some bad news about a...friend" she explained vaguely, "but we’ll be okay, I promise"

The young man nodded slowly as he backed off down the hall.

"You call me if Buffy or you need anything, okay?" he told her and Dawn smiled and nodded as she watched him go and closed the door behind him. He really was such a nice guy and pretty much perfect for Buffy, that had been obvious from the first moment they’d met. Now Dawn knew things had changed, all the old memories of Spike had been dragged back to the surface, preventing Buffy from seeing the future as clearly as she had before.

It made Dawn feel strange to think her vampiric older brother figure had been alive or at least undead in the world for a year without ever telling them. Still, both she and Andrew had been sworn to secrecy about Ellie and Chloe. Only the three of them and Giles knew they existed. Willow and Xander had gone off on their own before Buffy had realised she was pregnant and though they always kept in touch, Buffy had never been able to bring herself to tell them. It seemed wrong by letter or phone, it should be face to face.

Dawn sighed as she headed back to the living room and found her sister still crying, the babies back in their chairs sleeping, and Andrew sitting at the table with a tear stained face and a crumpled piece of paper in his hand.

"So, I’m getting a gift and so is Blue here, right?" Spike asked, glancing between the kind face of Tara and the area above his head where the voice he heard seemed to emanate from, "What I’m not gettin’ is why us? S’not that I don’t appreciate being popped back into the world every time I think I’ve found bloody peace!" he yelled, sarcasm in every word.

"You try our patience, vampire!" the booming voice told him harshly, "We wonder why we chose you as we did"

"What are we chosen for?" Illyria was keen to know, "Why are we not dead as our allies are, as Wesley is"

"Because I had served my purpose" said a familiar English voice as a further two figure appeared out of the misty void and stood beside Tara. Wesley and Fred were holding hands and looked exactly as two people in love should, they were practically glowing.

"Bloody hell" Spike backed up a step in surprise as he glanced between Fred and Illyria. The two women seemed slightly taken back also, "How are you here, when she’s in you?" the vampire frowned in confusion.

"What you see is just a form, Spike" the Texan told him, "Illyria took my body but my soul was set free and sent here...to wait" she added, glancing at Wesley who smiled and squeezed her hand.

"You planned this" the vampire realised, almost angrily, throwing his head back and yelling at the one he couldn’t see, "You planned this!" he accused, "You killed them and they didn’t deserve it!" he told the faceless voice who simply laughed in reponse.

"Foolish creature" it said amusedly and Spike felt his blood start to boil.

"Spike, calm down" Tara urged, "It’s not as simple as that. The Powers That Be had plans that were damaged and altered by forces out of their control. They had to make changes to accommodate what had become unbalanced"

"You’re talking in riddles, pet" Spike complained, putting his hand to his head as if it hurt to try and wrap his mind round what’s she was saying. His companion, however, had less of an issue in grasping the premise.

"Your friends death and my rising was foretold, your Powers That Be had it planned so that Angel’s plot would succeed" she said, still staring at her fallen ally and the girl who’s body she had possessed.

"We bear you no ill will, Illyria" Wesley told her, "You never intended to harm Fred, we all know that, and despite your having power beyond that of myself and those around you, you chose the right path and fought at our side. You sacrificed your life for a cause because ultimately you knew it was the correct thing to do"

"This is true" she conceded with a nod, "but I still cannot comprehend why I am here? What is this place?"

"In simple terms, it’s the door to the afterlife" Fred told her, seemingly unphased by her doppelganger, "but it’s not time for either of you to walk through right now"

"I was soddin’ right" Spike cursed, "You’re gonna shove me back into existence again!" he complained, "How many more bloody times!"

"If the vampire wishes to reject the offer we lay before him" the now decidedly angry voice told him in full earth-shattering booming volume, "We do not have to give him back his humanity at all!"

"Well, maybe I don’t...!" Spike began to yell back before he realised something "Hey wait a minute" he said more calmly, "My humanity?"

"You chose to fight on the side of good, not just to make up for the bad things you did, or to make others respect you, but because it was right" Tara reminded him, "You sought out a way to be a better man and against all odds it’s what you became"

"Very nice of you to say so, luv" he smirked slightly at the girl, "but you seriously telling me I’m getting the real boy prophecy and dear old Angel’s just a big pile of dust?" he could scarce believe it were true.

"Your prophecy was flawed" the voice of the Powers was back again, "Too much interference and too many translations. The essence of it was this. The demon who fought for his soul, and on the side of good, shall avert the apocalypse and then regain his humanity" here he paused before adding, "but maintain his skill and strength"

"Huh" was all Spike could find to say and Ilyria looked equally puzzled.

"If the white haired one is to be human with power, what am I to be? Why do you toy with me, I should be dead" she complained, almost sounding as if she would rather be at peace than stand for all this.

"Illyria" the voice boomed, "You did great wrong when you tried to rule a world that was not your own" it told her, "but your re-animation was of our doing, for a purpose far greater"

"You had to be there for Wes and Spike" Fred told her double, "You had to fight with them and the others, and earn the gift the Powers wanted you to have"

"Which is what? Humanity?" she scoffed, "I’d rather be dead than accept such an offer"

"It could well be arranged" the angry voice from above proclaimed, before softening, "but your gift is not to be simply human, it would serve no purpose. You must fight alongside your companion. You two must be our new champions to keep the balance between good and the evil that will never truly die"

"And this is why we’re here?" Spike quirked an eyebrow, "To be your new playthings now the others have gone?" he checked.

"What is being offered is an honour, Spike" Tara told him, really not wanting to witness another fight between the vampire and the Powers, though it was slightly amusing to her that he was so stubborn and headstrong he was even willing to pick fights with such beings that literally held his life in their non-existent hands.

"Let me get this straight" he said with a shake of his head, "You wanna make me a real boy again but with the added superhero bit, and Blue here’s gonna be my partner in crime, stayin’ just as she is?"

"Not exactly" Fred interjected, "Though she’ll have almost the same amount of power and the same body" those last couple of words were said awkwardly, "she’ll be human too, and eventually age and die as you will"

"And then we come back here do we? Join the big tea party in the sky with you lot?" he asked with a tilt of his head. Inside his mind was spinning with what he was being told. The shanshu was even better than he’d thought. Humanity but with power enough to continue fighting the good fight. Illyria with him through it all would be a help, he figured, he wasn’t one to fight alone and with all the others gone and Buffy best left as she was...

"One day when your time is done a place with be found for you" the voice answered his question, "but this we do not foresee for many decades"

"Good to know" Spike nodded absently, glancing at Illyria who still looked puzzled.

"Bother you, does it, pet?" he asked her, "Being told how it is by someone mightier?"

"It does not concern me what this...voice says to me" she said nonchalantly, "I promised myself to fight on the side of the good as long as there is breath in this body I possess" she flexed her arms to demonstrate her point, "If they wish to put that breath back, I shall do as I swore to do, at your side if it should be that way"

"I think she means she’s up for it" Spike smirked at Tara who stifled a giggle.

"You are capable of so much good, Spike" she told him as she stepped backwards, slowly disappearing into the white as Wesley and Fred did the same, "Go out there and show the world that"

"You too, Illyria" Wes smiled, "Make our passings, and your own existence, worth something real" he told her.

Before either Spike or Illyria could blink the white void grew so brilliant with gold light it almost blinded them. A second later they felt solid ground beneath and they were back in the alley where they had begun, this time at the mouth of it, looking out towards the rest of the world.

Spike took a few moments to get used to the fact he needed to breathe now and the thumping in his chest was quite disconcerting, but in a thrilling way, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

He glanced at Illyria who returned his half a smile. Things were going to be different from here on out but they’d been given a chance to do something good, and at least they didn’t have to do it alone.

"So then, pet" Spike sighed, "Just you and me, eh?"

"I believe you are worthy of my company" she told him, condescendingly.

"Praise indeed" he smirked, "Let’s go then, see what the world’s got to offer it’s gifted subjects" he said as they walked out of the alley and into their new lives.

To Be Continued...

"Lyri?" Spike yawned as he came out of the bedroom and found her sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands, "You alright, pet?"

"I shall be" she nodded gently so as not to disturb her head that ached profusely.

"’Nother vision was it?" her companion asked, crouching down by her chair to see her face, and she nodded slowly once again. Something that had failed to be mentioned when the pair visited the holding place to the afterlife was that in order to be the Powers new champions, Illyria must withstand terribly painful visions of those in need of help. She endured them quite well, and the pain was no worse now than it had been on the first occasion, that was one blessing at least

"Bloody selfish, if you ask me" Spike complained, "Powers that bleedin’ Be waking you up in the middle of the bloody night with their picture shows"

Illyria smiled at that, something she’d only learnt to do these past eighteen months in Spike’s company. He amused her, and she liked him a great deal, though nothing romantic had ever happened between them.

"It was not the ‘picture show’ that awoke me" she quoted, "That came after...it was you that disturbed my sleep, you and your dreams"

Spike looked oddly at her and then away at the tiled floor when her gaze was too intense to handle. They both knew what it meant, he’d been dreaming about Buffy again. He usually remembered when he had, though not every time. Still, Illyria almost always knew, if not from the fact he called the Slayer’s name in his sleep, then from his lack of words in the morning.

"You dream of her so often" Illyria commented, trying to catch his eye but he refused to look at her, "and yet you speak of her so little"

"S’complicated" Spike said, standing up again moving away from her, "And it’s not like I never mention her, just last week when we took on those demons that were trying to re-open the Hellmouth in Cleveland..." he started, all defensive, but Illyria interrupted.

"You told the tale of a fight you had at her side" she reminded him, "a recreation of events similar to those we found ourselves in...but you never talk of Buffy, of what you feel for her" she pointed out and Spike kept his back to her as he searched the kitchen cupboards for something, though he didn’t know what.

"Er, so, what was your vision of, luv?" the ex-vampire asked her and she slammed her hand on the table in a moment of frustration.

"Do not change the subject" she demanded, immediately regretting making such a noise as her head throbbed considerably. She winced and put her hand to her head once again, sipping at the glass of water before her, "You spend time teaching me" she continued more calmly, "of feelings and what it is to love and hate, to care and to endure grief and guilt. Still, when Buffy Summers is mentioned you cannot wait to be rid of her name from conversation"

Spike closed the cupboard door and leant on the counter top. It was true of course, everything Illyria had just said was perfectly true. There was no way to conceal anything from the woman, since he spent practically every waking moment in her company and they even slept in the same room much of the time, as they moved through hotels and boarding houses and one room between them was all they could afford.

"Why are you talking about this now?" he asked her so softly she almost didn’t hear him, "Why after all these months do we have to have the big talk about Buffy" he sighed, knowing his avoidance was fruitless now Lyri had latched onto the topic. Sometimes she was like a dog with a bone.

"I think you should tell me everything about your Buffy Summers" the woman with the blue streaked hair told him as he came to sit on the chair opposite her, "because I believe hers was the face I saw in my vision"

"Happy?" Buffy smiled as she kissed the man who held her in his arms.

"I have never been happier, my love" he told her, holding her close as fireworks went off overhead, lighting up the night sky in a myriad of rainbow colours. Tonight was a very special celebration for David di Luigi’s birthday, and it truly was the best birthday he ever remembered having.

He’d known from the first moment he laid eyes on Buffy Summers that she was the one for him. The Slayer had not been quite as taken by him at first but as she forced herself to move on with her life (Dawn and Andrew helped with that) she found she loved to spend time with him and looked forward to every date and meeting.

He adored Eloise and Chloe and was just as happy to spend time with the family as Buffy alone. Days out in the park or wandering around the market were their pleasure on sunny days, and romantic dinners by candlelight were shared in the evenings as either Dawn and Andrew, or Davy’s parents who lived just down the street, sat with the twins.

Yesterday, since it was now past midnight, had been his twenty-seventh birthday but also the day he had become officially engaged to his girlfriend. Buffy had cried when he produced a ring and got down on one knee during his birthday celebration that was huge due to so many family members and friends living nearby. She accepted his offer and he declared his love for her as he slid the diamond ring onto her finger.

That was six hours ago now and the day was over, but their lives together were just beginning. In spite of herself though, Buffy couldn’t help but ask the question that came to mind.

"Davy, you are sure about this aren’t you?" she said uncertainly, showing him the ring on her finger, "I mean, I love you, you know I do, and we get along great and you’re great with the kids and everything but...marriage, it’s like, a huge deal"

"Buffy" he smiled, "I know why you’re doing this" he told her. Having heard many tales from both herself and Dawn about her less than great history with men, Davy was far from oblivious as to why she might be cautious entering such a serious situation as marriage with him, "I also know that I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, and I’m thrilled to have Ellie and Chloe as part of the package" he assured her, "If it’s you that’s not sure then..."

"No" she silenced him with shake of her head and a finger on his lips, "No, I’m sure" she promised him, "I love you" she said with a smile, before kissing him again, feeling for the first time in a long time that life could actually work out okay now.

Up above the kissing couple, Dawn leant over on the balcony and watched the display of affection. She was so thrilled for her sister, it was just perfect having her be so happy and Davy was such a nice guy, Dawn just couldn’t find fault with him. That worried her for a while. She was convinced he had to be some kind of demon or there was a spell on him or something, but no. Davy was just your average half-Italian, half-English guy, with an ever expanding knowledge of all things demony.

As it turned out, his mother had been Watcher to an Italian Slayer, called in late 1977. Luisa Vincenzi had only survived a few months and so the young lady Watcher’s visit to the South European country was short but none the less enjoyable as she entered into a relationship with one Marco di Luigi.

She realised when she arrived back in England that she was carrying his child and decided in a moment of madness to give up her career and run back to Italy, in the hope that Marco would still want to be with her when she told him the truth about her life.

Later that year they were married and their son David Marco di Luigi was born. His parents doted on him and he was their world right into adulthood. They loved that Buffy was soon to be their daughter-in-law and adored her children too. The young couple had never told Davy’s parents the true identity of Ellie and Chloe’s father since he was certain they would not understand or approve of Buffy’s previous partners, but she had told David the truth almost as soon as she’d found out he knew about Slayers, Watchers, and demons.

He wanted to end it then, for the life of him he could not understand how anyone could love a vampire, souled or otherwise, but already his love for Buffy was too strong to be ignored and he accepted her past in order to share her future.

Dawn sighed as she watched the couple kiss under the light of the almost full moon. It was like a fairytale really, and even she had found a little romance of her own. Andrew was sweet and attentive and she’d grown to love him over the time. The two of them, plus Buffy, Davy, Ellie, and Chloe were such a happy little family, though the younger Summers sometimes yearned for the old days.

Sometimes she dreamt of Sunnydale, and their little house on Revello Drive. It was usually Thanksgiving or Christmas, and her Mom would be there, baking pie. Giles would be in the living room reading a book, whilst she watched TV with Xander, Willow, Tara and Anya. Buffy would get back from patrol, and always with Spike when it was in Dawn’s dream.

For all the bad he’d done, in the end Dawn found she couldn’t hate him like she should. He’d hurt Buffy, violated her trust in such an awful way that Dawn had actually threatened to kill him if he so much as touched her, but afterwards as they shared a house and faced the First together, he became her older brother again, and she loved him. She felt the pain just as her sister did when the amulet he used to save the world dusted him too, and she cried almost just as hard when she read the letter that was received via Andrew, from the vampire himself. He may have died but he’d come back and they never knew. Now he was gone again and this time it was a forever deal.

"People have a tendency to go away" she whispered to herself, recalling words she’d said years ago, "and sometimes I wish..." she stopped short when she realised what she was doing. She always stopped herself from finishing sentences that had that word in them, for fear of who was listening and what might happen.

"You okay, Dawnie?" Andrew asked her as he approached and came to stand beside her.

"Yeah" she smiled across at him, "I was just thinking is all, about Sunnydale...and Spike actually"

"He was one very brave vampyr" he over-pronounced and Dawn couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her.

"He was" she agreed in a whisper, moving closer to her boyfriend until he put his arm around her shoulders.

In the bedroom she heard the kids stirring and she sighed. It was okay for her, she had her memories of Spike, what did Ellie and Chloe know of their father?

‘Nothing’, she thought sadly, ‘and they never will’

"You saw Buffy!" Spike gasped in alarm at the very idea that his precious Slayer might be in trouble. Of course over the past two and half years that he hadn’t seen her she’d probably averted a couple of apocalypses that he wasn’t aware of, that was her deal after all, but to be told, to be certain she was in danger, it made his all too human heart hammer in his chest til he thought his ribs would break.

"I believe it was her" Illyria nodded once, "she resembles the photograph you always carry" she said, glancing over at him and he nodded absently. He only had one picture of his Slayer these days and he carried it on him always.

It was from her birthday, her last one in Sunnydale. The battle against the First meant almost constant stress and worry for her, but on that day he actually saw her genuinely smile, and thankfully Willow had captured that moment on film. He hadn’t even had to ask for a copy of the picture, she’d just given it to him without a word. He always had liked the witch in a funny sort of way.

He reached into the pocket of his jeans (the only thing he was wearing) and took the photo out, staring at it wistfully before handing it to Illyria.

"You sure it was her?" he checked, trying not to panic but unable to help himself. He’d seen some terrible things as a result of his companions visions. If something awful was happening to Buffy...God he couldn’t bear the thought of it.

"It was" Illyria nodded, closing her eyes against the pain in her head that still continued, "It is, I see it still when I close my eyes" she told him. It was something she wasn’t sure whether she’d learnt to do or just something extra the Powers had let her have lately. Closing her eyes and concentrating brought back still shots of the vision she had most recently endured, though the pain intensified when she tried it.

"What is it? What’s wrong with her?" he asked, agitatedly, "A demon? An apocalypse? What!"

Illyria frowned as she opened her eyes. She looked at him strangely as she answered his question.

"An engagement ring"

"Spike, please do cease and desist with your wriggling" Illyria pleaded with him, "You make me wish to do violence upon you!" she told him sternly and the ex-vampire answered her through gritted teeth.

"I am not a child, Illyria, and I’m easily your equal in a fight" he reminded her, "You’d do well to be careful how you speak to me today"

She shook her head as she glanced out of the plane window and then back at her companion.

"You have been impossible ever since I told you of my latest vision" she said with annoyance evident in her tone.

Spike opened his mouth to answer but soon changed his mind. She was right of course, it was one fairly irritating habit that she had. Ever since the words ‘vision’ and ‘Buffy’ had been uttered in the same sentence he’d been a mess, and the addition of the words ‘engagement ring’ had done nothing to help at all. His precious Slayer was getting married? How could she do that? Of course he had no real reason to blame her, she didn’t even know he existed nevermind that he was now alive and lacking a demon he once possessed.

When he had appeared in Angel’s office from the amulet that had saved Sunnydale and destroyed it at the same time, Spike had wanted to go straight to Buffy’s side, a pleasure denied by the amulet that tied him to Wolfram and Hart. By the time he was given the gift of solidity, he had begun to realise it would be to everyone’s benefit if he left the Slayer well alone.

Things had only changed when he was facing his final battle, alongside Angel, Gunn, Wes and Illyria. He couldn’t leave the world a second time without seeking forgiveness for the lie he’d told her. All those promises he’d made about always watching her back, and yet he had stayed away when she might have needed him.

When the gift of life had been imparted to himself and Illyria upon their death, Spike had decided it was definitely too late for he and Buffy to be together. She had a chance of a normal life now, whilst he had been Chosen for great things, as she had been before. He couldn’t drag her back into a world of demons and darkness, besides she was dating the Immortal at the time, and she believed he was dead...again.

It had taken hours of soul-searching and one rather large fight between himself and Illyria before he’d even agreed to track down Buffy again. His first reaction had been to save her from what ever Big Bad might be gunning for his girl, but when the harm that befell her was told to be an engagement ring, it only brought home to Spike how much life had moved on.

Buffy had a boyfriend, a fiancé so it would seem. It was over two years since he’d last stood before her and she’d told him it was him she loved before he left the world in a blaze of glory. Now she was marrying some other git who may or may not be evil. Spike was thankful at least that his Slayer no longer spent her time with the Immortal. There was no way in the world he would be offering to marry her, so there must be another. He should have expected it really, she was a beautiful and incredible woman, what man could resist? And she needed a man in her life, always needed someone to lean on however much she tried to deny it to everyone else.

"Spike!" Illyria repeated, as she poked him in the side, finally managing to drag him from his thoughts.

"What? What’s up?" he asked, trying to shake all previous thought from his head and concentrate on the here and now.

"Your eyes had glazed over in a most disconcerting way" Lyri told him, "I wish you to talk to me if you will, I am finding the sensation caused by this altitude quite concerns me" she shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Spike smiled a little. She really did hate to admit that anything scared her, and yet there were a few parts of modern technology that bothered her intensely, planes being one of them.

"No need to worry, luv" he told her, taking hold of her hand in a comforting gesture, "Few hours and it’ll all be over"

"Do not presume that I am afraid" she snapped half-heartedly, knowing inside that she was petrified but refusing to show even Spike to whom she head become greatly attached over time.

"Never would think such a thing of you, Lyri" he tried not to smirk but found it almost impossible, "Let’s talk about other things" he suggested as they began to do just that, though in the back of his mind Buffy was still there, haunting him as she always did. Heaven only knew what she would say when she realised he was alive.

"Earth to Buffy! Hey, Buffy!" Dawn tried waving her hand in front of her sisters face and finally gained the Slayer’s attention.

"Sorry, Dawnie" she said, turning to look at her, "I guess I kinda zoned out"

"Zoned out?" Dawn giggled, "You were hypnotised by that rock on your finger" she smiled.

"I guess I was" Buffy smiled back, glancing at the engagement ring on her hand once more, "I just can’t believe it’s mine y’know, that someone loves me so much that they want to be with me forever...how is that even possible?"

"But you love him that way too right" Dawn asked worriedly. Her sister was always weird about the love, and though it was kind of understandable when her dating bio was considered, Dawn really hoped that Buffy wasn’t about to break Davy’s heart and her own by ending things with him.

"Of course I love him, Dawnie" Buffy told her, though maybe not as firmly as she should have. When she was with him she was so sure of his feelings and her own, but when they were apart, it was so strange but she started to worry about it, "Anyway, right now I have to get the kids ready, drop them off, and head over to the cafe" she realised as she checked her watch.

Even Slayers had to have something to live on and in the absence of a Doublemeat Palace in Rome (one thing everyone could be thankful for) Buffy had managed to get herself a few shifts at La Bella Cafe, just a couple of streets from the apartment.

The owner there had told her she reminded him so much of his own daughter who had sadly passed away and though Buffy could see no resemblance at all between herself and the picture of Gianni’s daughter Maria that hung on the wall, she was grateful for his kindness. He let her work around her kids needs and her own occasional need for slayage, despite the fact he did not know about the second one. He accepted every lame excuse she gave him, though she was fairly certain he always knew when she lied.

Ellie and Chloe were looked after by the di Luigi’s when Buffy worked school hours and Dawn couldn’t do it. The brunette herself actually found that she liked her education in this new country, and life in general was a lot brighter than it had once been.

Despite all this there were nights when both young women would cry. After dreams of Sunnydale and their friends who had been taken from them or chose to go their separate ways. So much loss, it was impossible to forget and though it hurt to remember sometimes, neither would ever part with their memories. It was all they had left of some people.

"Well, I’ve been in worse dives" Spike decided as he dumped his bag on the bed of the hotel room. It was the cheapest place for miles and even then it was fairly pricey compared to some places they’d frequented in America.

Illyria seemed hypnotised by every new thing she saw, the different styled buildings and overly friendly people. America had been her only modern home and Europe seemed to be unsettling her.

"You alright, pet?" he checked as she looked around uncertainly.

"I shall be perfectly fine" she nodded once, "I must simply adjust to my surroundings" she told him, putting her own bag down on her side of the bed and sitting down beside it, "I strangely assumed that the world would be the same from every angle" she told him, "and yet it is not so as it once was"

"Don’t fret, luv" Spike told her, though in truth he was grateful to have her to worry about, it gave him less time to fixate on certain Slayers and their engagement rings, "This lot might talk a bit different and live in different shaped houses but they’re still humans, like you and me"

It still felt strange to call himself a human and even more so to refer to Illyria that way. He was certain she was less fond of hearing it than he was, but she bore it well enough and he’d found his time spent with her to be reasonably pleasant. She was his kind of woman, wouldn’t take bull from anyone and yet needed him at the same time. The world was still a foreign place to her, whilst he’d had over a century to learn it’s ways and had grown along with the changes that it went through.

"I am uncomfortable" Illyria admitted, "I think some violence would be of use to me"

"Can’t argue with that, pet" Spike smirked, glad to let the whole Buffy issue go for a while longer. A part of him was so desperate to see her again it physically hurt, whilst another was just petrified of the reaction he might receive.

As the pair got up and headed for the door, Illyria smirked in a frighteningly similar way to Spike.

"I know you wish to delay our finding of your Buffy Summers" she told him, "I am not so foolish as you would have me be"

"Shut your gob, you" he snapped half-heartedly, surpressing a smile. She really had gotten to know him too well these past months.

"Hey Dawnie, are you and Andrew okay watching the kids for me tonight?" Buffy asked her sister as she pulled on her jacket.

"Sure, no problem" Dawn nodded, "Where are you going?" she frowned a little at her sister’s outfit - definitely not something one would wear for a date with the fiancé. Less frilly, more killy.

"You’re gonna think I’m crazy" Buffy winced, "I’m going on patrol" she said at length and Dawn shook her head.

"Not so weird" she shrugged, "but, well, you haven’t done that since, well not for months and...are their even vampires in Rome?" she asked.

"Evil is everywhere, Dawnie, you know that" the Slayer reminded her as she put her foot up on the chair beside her and fastened a sheathed knife to her leg, before rolling the leg of her pants back down over it. She put a couple of stakes in the inside pockets of her jacket and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

"Well, er, I was gonna say have fun" Dawn giggled, "Sounds kinda silly though"

"I just need a little mindless violence" Buffy told her with a shrug, "I dunno why suddenly now, I just need to go be the Slayer and do what I do best, y’know?"

"Sure" her sister nodded, giving her a hug, "Just be careful, okay?"

"I promise" Buffy smiled before she kissed both Ellie and Chloe and left the apartment.

The nearest cemetery was just a few streets away and it didn’t take Buffy long to get there. It felt wonderfully familiar to walk amongst the tombstones and hone her senses to find anything evil lurking in the shadows. It didn’t take long till she felt something, that strange tingling sensation that meant only one thing - vampire. She found the spot in seconds, a grave with two arms scrambling for freedom. As a head and chest followed Buffy grabbed her stake and lunged at the fanged creature. Senor Gianfranco Portellini (Deceased) was nothing but dust before his legs had even cleared the dirt he’d been put to rest in, but still the sensation remained, like someone was watching her. It was feint and different to the normal, but it was familiar, so much so that Buffy felt sick when she realised why. There were only two people’s presence that she could pick out without actually seeing them. One was Angel and the other was...

"Spike" she whispered, half a statement, half a question. Though she knew it was madness, he’d been gone for over a year now, it didn’t stop her heart skipping a beat in anticipation of seeing him step out of the darkness and into the moonlight that engulfed herself.

A silent tear crept down her cheek as the feeling of his closeness went away and she rationalised that she was just being ridiculous. She’d gotten too nostalgic, out in this graveyard, slaying like she used to. Plus her head had been so full of Spike, ever since Davy had proposed. As wrong as it was she often compared them and their love for her. She hated herself for it but she just couldn’t help it. Spike was the father of her children after all, however crazy that was...and he would never know.

With a determined look, a large sniff, and a shake of her head, Buffy straightened and headed out of the cemetery. She had a real life now, a fairly normal life with two normal but beautiful children, a normal guy that loved her, her sister and a younger brother figure she loved too. Spike was gone, she had to accept it before she drove herself insane.

Illyria decapitated the vampire that she’d been fighting and watched as it turned to so much ash before her eyes.

"Vampires are so fragile" she observed with that strange tilt of her head, "I wonder how they live as they do, so many centuries when death could come so easily" she became aware that Spike was not paying any attention to her at all and she turned to see him staring off in the opposite direction.

Following his eye-line, she saw the back of a blonde-haired woman headed out of the cemetery gates.

"Buffy?" she asked softly, but all Spike could do was stare.

"If she has gone in that direction surely it is in our interest as well as hers to follow" Illyria insisted, craning her neck to see where Buffy had gone as she followed Spike in the opposite direction.

"No, I can’t, not now" he said with a shake of his head as he strode across the cemetery.

Illyria caught his arm and spun him round to face her.

"This terrifies you" she realised, "This situation, meeting Buffy Summers once again, you are ridiculously afraid" she stated, somewhat stunned by her realisation. Spike was never bothered by anything. Come what may he was strong and resilient, he let the troubles of the world wash over him like rain. She respected that behaviour and often found herself thanking the Powers for putting them back on Earth together. She found his company most satisfactory, but she was a little worried about his sudden change of personality.

"M’not afraid of anything" Spike was quick to tell her, "Silly bint, you should know better"

"You only resort to this name calling with me when you are losing an argument" she observed, "You know that I am right and yet you deny it"

"Oh yeah, cos you tell the bloody truth all the time!" the ex-vampire shot back, volume rising and arms gesturing emphatically, "All that bleedin’ rot on the plane about not being scared, you were soddin’ petrified and you know it!"

"This matter is no concern of yours" she yelled angrily, "But your running from the Slayer concerns me, it is interfering with our mission"

"Stuff the bleedin’ mission!" he said getting in her face, "Stuff bloody Rome, and stuff you too for good measure!" he said nastily before turning to leave.

At that very moment Illyria sunk to her knees, intense pain radiating from her head and down through her body. Her fingers went to her temples and she groaned in distress, making Spike turn back, his anger dispersing when he saw the agony she appeared to be in.

"Illyria?" he said, kneeling down in front of her and trying to prevent her from damaging herself as she writhed in pain, "Lyri, pet, can you hear me?" he asked her urgently but it seemed she either did not want to or was unable to give a response. Desperately, Spike held her by the shoulders, shaking her slightly and saying her name over and over. Eventually she seemed to see him clearly.

"Spike?" she said hoarsely, her eyes flickering open and closed as she looked up at him at last. She briefly saw him nod his answer, before she fell unconscious into his arms.

"Hey Buff" Dawn smiled from her position on the couch, Andrew’s arm around her shoulders as they pretended to be watching TV. Up until a few moments ago they were far more interested in each other than anything else but as soon as they heard the Slayer’s key in the front door they made every attempt to look innocent.

"You have fun slaying?" Andrew asked the blonde as she closed the door behind her and removed her jacket.

"Yeah, sure, great fun" she nodded absently, not really looking at them, "I’m just gonna check on the kids..." her voice trailed away as she disappeared down the hall to the bedroom and Dawn frowned. It looked as if her sister had been crying but she couldn’t understand why that would be.

"I’ll be right back" she told Andrew as she got to her feet and followed Buffy to Ellie and Chloe’s room. She found her sitting between the two cribs, in tears.

"Buffy, what’s wrong?" she asked from the door, moving to her sister’s side when Buffy only cried harder in response to the question. Dawn hugged her tight and waited til the tears subsided.

"I don’t know what’s the matter with me" Buffy sniffed a few moments later, "You must think I’m so crazy"

"I don’t know about crazy" Dawn shook her head, "but you’re acting a little strange" she pointed out, "The sudden slayage, the random tearyness...it’s since Davy proposed isn’t it?" she realised, "You changed your mind, didn’t you?"

"No, no I haven’t Dawnie, I swear" Buffy told her adamantly, "I love Davy, I do" she said just as firmly, before glancing at her sleeping daughters, one and then the other.

"It’s Spike, isn’t it?" Dawn realised with a sigh, "You miss him"

Buffy nodded sadly as silent tears ran down her cheeks once again.

"It all could’ve been so perfect" she said, voice shaking, "I finally realised just how much I loved him, and...we could have had a decent relationship at last and a family..." she trailed off as emotion overtook her. Dawn felt terribly for her and pulled her back into a hug in an attempt to comfort her.

"I know it’s tough" she said gently, "I mean, I miss him too but life could still be good Buffy" she told her, and her sister sniffed loudly, trying to regain some composure.

"Dawn, I thought he was there" she admitted, "When I was patrolling I felt him...What if Spike’s not dead?" she said with new hope. She continued her theory even when Dawn sadly shook her head.

"I mean, he came back before. I came back three times now, and Angel came back from Hell that time, and..."

"Buffy" Dawn looked pained as she silenced her sisters ramblings, "He’s gone" she said firmly, "It’s not what you want to hear, I know that, but it’s for real. He’s really gone this time. If he wasn’t he’d be here, he wouldn’t stay away, not after the last time"

"I know" the Slayer admitted with a sad nod, as she attempted to wipe away her tears, "but I wish I didn’t Dawnie, and the only person that could ever make me feel better about all this...is the one person I won’t ever see again" she bawled like a baby as Dawn held her and rocked her gently.

Andrew watched silently from the door, having heard some of the sisters’ conversation. He sometimes hated himself for having kept his silence about Spike being back before. Now it really was too late.

Spike was glad to find a route of quiet roads and back alleys that he could carry the unconscious Illyria back to the hotel by. When the girl at the front desk gave him a strange look he just hefted the girl higher in his arms and declared ‘some of these women, they think they’re so tough, but they just can’t hold their drink’

The former-vampire was glad to reach the safety of the elevator, where no-one could see them anymore. He had hoped that Illyria would’ve woken up before now but she was still out cold, though thankfully still breathing evenly. Manoeuvring into the room and depositing her on the bed was a little tricky and even when he’d managed it he had no idea what to do next. Thankfully, whilst he was stood there by the bed, contemplating calling an ambulance or possibly just throwing cold water in the girls’ face, she began to move of her own accord.

"No, no, no" she repeated as she writhed about, eyes tight shut and seemingly unaware of the world.

"Illyria, luv, wake up" Spike urged her as he sat down beside her and tried to still her wild movements. She screamed as she fought against him, something quite uncharacteristic of the former God.

"Snap out of it, pet" Spike shook her harder, seriously concerned about her condition and just hoping if he could get her eyes open and some lucidity about her it’d be easier for them to work out what the bloody hell was happening.

"My babies" Ilyria’s arm shot out, reaching desperately for something or someone who wasn’t there, "Oh God, my children" she screamed and cried real tears as Spike fought to calm her.

"I’m sorry luv" he yelled above her noise, "You left me no choice" he told her, raising his hand and striking her across the face. In that moment she was still, her eyes snapped open and she looked up at Spike with some alarm.

"Illyria?" he checked, unsure as yet whether it was best to let go of her or keep his grip.

"I...I had a vision" she said shakily, eyes darting around the room as she tried to take in her surroundings. Spike let go of her arms and let out a sigh of relief as he realised despite her previous distress his companion was back in the real word now.

"Must’ve been some cinematic extravaganza, pet" he said, "You were out cold for twenty minutes, and making a right bloody row just before you came to"

Illyria observed him with troubled eyes, head tilted in that thoughtful manner of hers. She righted herself and shook her head slowly.

"The vision was recent" she told Spike, "Just a moment ago. I do not know what caused the pain and darkness that came upon me in the graveyard" she admitted and the ex-vampire was a little concerned by that. Still, first of all they must concentrate on the latest vision Illyria had received. Must have been one hell of an intense experience to have her screaming and wailing as she had.

"This vision, luv, the one you got before you woke up..." Spike began gently as the girl on the bed blinked strangely as if trying to reset her vision.

"It was so strange" she told him slowly, "I was there, and I was not myself..." she realised, putting a hand to her head that still ached somewhat from the whole experience.

"I’ll get you some painkillers" her friend said as he rose from the bed and headed for the door, "then you can tell me who you were in this vision, and what you saw"

"I do not wish to remember" she told his back, screwing her eyes tight shut and pressing her fingers to her temples, "I wish to see no more, feel these things no more..." her volume increased as she tried to push the vision from her mind, finding it almost impossible.

Spike turned in the doorway and looked over at her, not at all pleased about how she was made to suffer by this so-called gift the Powers had given her.

"You were a mother" he said from the door, "and your kids were in trouble...in the vision" he guessed and proven right when Illyria lifted her face to look at him and slowly nodded so as not to disturb her aching head too much.

Without a word Spike turned way, fetched the aspirin he’d promised her and a glass of water. The girl pushed her blue streaked hair from her face, downed the pills and lay back a little on the bed, eyes closed and willing the pain away.

"Tell me what you can about these kids" Spike said gently, "I’ll go and see what I can do and you stay here, get some rest"

"We fight as a team" she told him sternly, eyes open in a second and glaring at him, "This you know. It was our agreement with the Powers"

"Stuff the bleedin’ Powers" Spike told her firmly, "You are going to stay here until you’re noggin stops banging like a drum, you got that?" he told her like a father scolding a child.

"There are times when I thank the Powers for making me spend my new given life with you" Illyria told him with a sly smile, "But at other times I remember that you are a very irritating being"

"S’all part of my appeal, luv" Spike smirked as he got to his feet, "Now, these kids, tell me about them. What do they look like, what are their names?"

"There were two. They were female, with hair the colour of honey, and they were very small" she recounted, "Something or someone was taking them from me...her...their mother" she amended, getting a little confused.

"Any hint on a name or address?" Spike pressed, knowing that whilst Italians were known for having dark hair and eyes, there could still be no end of blonde kids running around town, when tourists and the such like were thrown into the mix.

"I...I don’t know" Illyria concentrated and replayed the still shots of her vision as she sometimes needed too. Along with the intense pain in her head came the awful feelings she had felt too, as she herself played the part of a woman having her babies snatched from her grasp. Uncharacteristically, tears came to her eyes and she tried to get rid of them as they made tracks down her cheeks.

"S’alright, pet" Spike felt bad for her, and rubbed her arm affectionately. Having to experience such feelings and that were not her own must be affecting her badly. Even after all these months as a human and those before as a God trapped in a human shell, there were so many of her own emotions that Illyria didn’t understand. Whilst Spike did his best to help her, he wasn’t exactly qualified and didn’t really have the best handle on love and loss himself, though he’d experienced both too strongly, too many times.

"I’ll go and take a look around the area, maybe ask the locals a few questions" he told his friend, "You get some rest, I’ll be back before you know it"

"Very well" Illyria nodded once, closing her eyes again and letting sleep claim her. She never did what he told her, Spike knew that, but given the state she was in, he was fairly certain that this time she just might.

"Grazi" Spike nodded to the man he had just been speaking to as he walked away, "Thanks for bloody nothing" he mumbled under his breath as he stormed off down the street.

Trying to find a mother and two kids in trouble in a city the size of Rome, well it wasn’t so much a needle in a haystack as it was a needle in Kansas, especially since the only other clue he had were the kids being female and blonde.

It had been a couple of hours since he’d left the motel now, and not getting any further with his investigation was just making him frustrated. He swung by a graveyard on the way back and was glad to relieve some tension staking a couple of baddies before heading back to Illyria.

She was still lying on the bed when he returned to their room, her eyes were shut but he wasn’t certain whether she was asleep or not.

"Lyri, pet?" he said softly, perching on the edge of the bed beside her.

"I am not sleeping" she told him matter-of-factly, opening her eyes, "I could not even if I wished to. I must know of your findings"

"Always about the bloody mission" Spike rolled his eyes, "You have got to get out more, luv" he smirked.

"I live to fight, as the Powers told" she said firmly, "I have no wish for this socialisation you crave or this romantic drivel people invest so much time in"

Spike let the subject go when she looked away and couldn’t meet his eyes. She thought of Wesley more often than she’d admit, and he knew why. Though he doubted the others paid enough attention to notice, back in LA before what was supposed to be the final fight, the affection the ex-God had for the ex-Watcher was evident to Spike. Unrequited love was his speciality, and being as he was a step away from Team Angel, never quite one of the gang, he saw things that those in the tight little circle never could. Still as much as she stood against the notion of love and romance, he knew she was now only human and must crave these things like everyone else.

"No news on your vision, pet" he told the girl, regaining her attention, "Reckon it might be an idea to grab some shut-eye and start over tomorrow" he suggested, "What with the flying, the jet-lag and all, I feel like I could sleep for a bloody week"

"I too feel the need to rest for longer" Illyria agreed, "So we shall sleep and wake again at first light to find both the mother who cries for her children, and your Slayer"

Spike had got up from the bed and turned to walk away but stopped abruptly at the mention of Buffy.

"Ah, yes" Illyria smirked, "You thought I had forgotten that, I see"

"Bollocks" Spike muttered as he walked around the bed, keeping his back to the woman as he threw his coat over the chair, followed by his shirt. He sat down on the bed to remove his boots then got under he covers still in his T-shirt and jeans.

Illyria knew she’d upset him, though she would not apologise. By the morning it would all be forgotten and they would be friends again. In the meantime she pulled off the leather jacket she wore and kicked off her shoes before joining her companion beneath the covers where his back was still to her.

"Goodnight William" she said with a sly smile, knowing even in anger he could not ignore her.

"’Night, pet" he answered as he turned out the light.

Buffy couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t slept all night in fact and as she lie in her bed, the light of the sun beginning to filter in through the blind, she knew she might as well give up anyway. Thoughts that filled her head mostly starred a certain bleached blond vampire that she knew if she were honest she loved as much if not more now than she did back in the Hellmouth when she’d first said it.

So much had happened. She’d bore his children though he never knew it. He’d died, not once but twice, a record she had set herself years before, one more thing they had in common. He’d tried to make her see she was a creature of darkness like him, and whilst he had not been wholly wrong (the essence of the demon had been used to activate the first Slayer) she now realised they were both creatures of light. That last night in the Hellmouth when the bright light from the amulet had shone through his being, it was as if a door had been opened in her heart and she knew more clearly than she ever had before that she was in love with this man.

He hadn’t believed her and she’d cried when she’d realsied it was her own fault, knocking him back so many times had led him to believe he was not worthy of the love she now felt. More tears were shed over his death then, though he lived on inside of Buffy’s body as well as her heart. Two children, his and hers, that would never know their father and how wonderful he was. Of course it ought to be impossible and to this day Giles had never cracked the mystery of how a vampire had fathered the twins Buffy had given birth too, but given the distinct lack of contact with any other male in all the time the battle against the First was forged, they knew it had to be true, indeed looking at the little girls now, their blonde hair might indicate Buffy but there was simply no mistaking that their blue eyes came from Daddy.

A lone tear crept down the Slayer’s cheek as she thought about her old lover. She dreamt of him so often, she was almost glad sleep hadn’t claimed her, for waking up from such vivid events only made her more upset. Some nights she’d swear she felt him there beside her, the dream would be so intense as they made sweet love for hours. She’d been mortified on one occasion to find that in her half-concious, dreaming state she’d used Davy to physically perform the fantasy in her head. She never had told him why she couldn’t look at him for a couple of days afterwards, she wondered if he’d figured it out on his own.

Other nights the dreams were different, she’d be out with the kids playing in a park. A shadow would fall over the sandbox and when they looked up, there he’d be, her precious William bathed in the light of the midday sun and smiling at her, making her feel, with just one look, like no-one else ever could.

Wiping tears from her cheeks, Buffy got herself out of bed and took a deep breath before she started her day. She had just managed to shower and dress when Andrew called through the door to her.

"Buffy, Davy’s here" he told her, "He wants to take you and the kids to breakfast"

"Be right there" came the Slayers response though she sat back down on her bed as she said it. She felt so guilty, spending much of her time thinking of Spike when she was now engaged to marry another man, a man that loved her very much. He said he understood, the couple of times when she’d admitted her deep thoughts to be about the father of her children, but she knew better than to believe he was totally okay with it. How could anyone be comfortable knowing the person they planned on marrying spent large amounts of their time wishing they were with someone else, someone they could never have.

"Thought you needed some bloody kip?" Spike said to Illyria when he awoke to find her standing by the window instead of in the bed beside him.

"It is daylight" she pointed out, not looking at him, "I did inform you I would be waking again by the light of day"

"Yeah" Spike agreed absently, "Guess I forgot quite how literal you can be" he realised as he stretched out his body and swung his legs out of the bed, "No more visions then, luv? Lyri?" he frowned when she didn’t answer and walked over to her side, "You okay, pet?" he checked and she turned to face him then.

There was a weird look in her too blue eyes that he couldn’t identify and he didn’t have time to think before she grabbed his head and pulled him into a kiss.

"Illyria!" he yelled, jumping back several feet like she’d scalded him, and subconsciously wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, "What the soddin’ hell is that all about!" he wanted to know, as he tried to figure it out for himself. Illyria tilted her head and observed him.

"I still do not understand" she complained, "I have been watching these humans, the race of which I have been a part for months now" she explained, looking back towards the window when when his gaze was not quite as friendly as it might be, "They meet each other in the streets. They embrace, they join lips as I just did with you...their happiness radiates from them like sunlight..."

She seemed so bitter about it and Spike started to realise what her problem was.

"You want that" he said cautiously, more of a statement than a question, "You want someone to make you feel the way they feel" he moved closer to her, ever wary of what she might do, and followed her gaze down to the street below. A young couple stood in the strada in a passionate embrace, and Illyria was right, you could almost see the love radiating from them like a sunny glow.

"Lyri, pet" Spike sighed, "It’s not as simple as grab the nearest bloke and snog his face off" he explained, as they both kept their eyes down at the view, "If that were all it was love wouldn’t mean anything"

"All the things you have taught me" she said still looking away, "and all that Wesley tried to teach me before...I will never truly understand this love that humans feel, I think perhaps I was not provided with the ability when I was given this form" she glanced down at her own body and then turned to walk away. Spike felt sorry for her, of course he did, though given the way all his experiences of love had ended up, he was almost jealous of her lack of feeling.

"S’not all it’s cracked up to be y’know, pet" he sighed as she moved across the room and sat down on the bed to put her shoes back on, "Love, well yeah, it can be a good thing but...there’s a lot of heart-ache goes with it, lot of pain" he recalled all too knowingly.

"There is pain when I do violence" she said matter-of-factly, "Damage is caused and endured, but when the fight is won we are pleased to know it. The thrill of the battle and the winning of it outweighs the suffering we face" she said, turning back to look at him, "Does love not work this way?" she asked, head-tilted, "Is the pain you suffer not worth the reward you receive in gaining that which you crave so badly"

Spike observed her thoughtfully, sparing one final glance for the couple on the street below as he answered her.

"It is" he nodded slowly, "Sometimes, it is"

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Davy asked his fiancee as they walked down the street together, him pushing the stroller with Ellie and Chloe in it.

"Sure, I’m fine" Buffy told him with a forced smile. He didn’t look entirely convinced, since she barely looked at him when she said it and her eyes kept glazing over as she drifted off into a daydream.

They reached the cafe where Buffy worked, though not until the afternoon today. They sat at one of the tables outside, and the Slayer pulled the stroller up next to her to keep a close eye on her children.

"Don’t take this the wrong way but, it’s like you’re only half here" Davy said gently, not wanting to upset her, "Is there somewhere else you’d rather be?" he asked, hoping she said no.

"Of course not" she said, looking so sincere that he actually believed that lie.

She loved being with Davy, of course she did. He was going to make a wonderful husband and a great step-father for her kids, but he could never be what she wanted. There was only ever going to be one William ‘Spike’ Dashwood, and he was gone forever.

Buffy’s friend and fellow waitress Sophia came to take their order for breakfast and it was nice to enjoy good food in such pleasant surroundings, with her little girls there with her and a man she loved. She did love him, but as hard as she tried to be in love with him she never felt like she’d quite fallen all the way. Something held her back, and she knew what that something was, just as Dawn knew and probably Andrew too. It didn’t help when she looked down at her daughters and straight into two pairs of bright blue eyes that were so familiar.

"We should go" her fiance’s voice cut through another hazy daydream and the slightly annoyed look on his face made Buffy feel terribly guilty, "I have to be at work in half an hour" he realised as he checked his watch.

"I should call in at the store on the way home" Buffy told him as she pulled her jacket back on and checked she’d got everything that she’d left home with. Davy put some money on the table and they were about to leave when Sophia came hurrying out of the cafe and called to them.

"Buffy, mia amica buona" she said as she reached them, "the machine for the coffee, it is ‘ow you say, in need of the kicking" she told her friend, making Buffy smile at her phrasing. The coffee machine at the cafe was a huge old fashioned thing that once in a while would give up the ghost and require a few sharp hits in the right places to get it going again. The manager had saved a fortune on repairmen since Buffy had started work there.

"Oh, Davy, I should just..." she started and he nodded, knowing what she was going to say.

"You go help them fix it" he told her, "I’ll take the kids to the store and meet you there afterwards, okay?"

"Thankyou" she smiled, kissing him briefly before hurrying after Sophia into the cafe. Davy sighed as he watched her go and looked over the back of the stroller at the kids.

"Your mother is an incredible woman" he told the little girls who of course had no real idea of what he was saying to them, "I only wish that your father had been a less incredible man" he added sadly. How is anyone supposed to compete with a dead man?

"I find I am hungry" Illyria commented as she and Spike got ready to go out, "Perhaps we might find somewhere to eat before we resume our search for both the mother and children from my vision, and your Buffy Summers"

"You always do that" Spike complained, "Always call her ‘my’ Buffy. You forgetting what you saw in those pictures from the Powers" he asked with a tilt of his head, "She’s got a bleedin’ engagement ring! May have skipped your mind but it sure as hell hasn’t skipped mine" he said, almost angrily as he slammed the drawer of the dresser closed with a thump.

"Your anger in unnecessary" Illyria calmly pointed out to him, "If the Powers That Be have given me a vision of Buffy and her engagement ring, this surely means she is in danger from it. You can have no fear that she has found someone to replace you"

"Nothin’ to replace, pet" Spike shook his head sadly, "I was never...that last night before I burned in Sunnyhell, she said she loved me but...I can’t let myself believe it"

"It is fruitless talking any further to me of love and associated feelings" his companion told him too sharply as she zipped up her boots, "I cannot give comments or opinions on things I do not understand"

"Doesn’t usually stop you" Spike smirked at his own joke, and she gave him a look, desperately trying not to smile as they headed for the door.

When they got down to the street they decided to look for a place where they could eat first and then it was back to asking questions and keeping their eyes open til they found what they were looking for. Rome wasn’t exactly a small place and the chance of just running into the people they were looking for was a little remote, still it was always advisable to pay attention to ones surroundings.

They passed by a cafe, though Illyria wanted to stop for food, Spike told her it looked like a pricey place and they weren’t exactly flash with the cash of late. She didn’t look happy and her stomach growled almost angrily in protest.

"Look, there’s a convenience store just up here" her companion gestured up ahead, "We’ll go in there and see what they’ve got on sale, alright?"

"This will do" Illyria nodded once as they continued walking.

As they entered the store, they headed straight for the most identifiable products, and picked out the things with the lowest prices. Spike was standing by the shelving, counting coins into his hand in an attempt to work out how much he dared to spend, whilst Illyria leaned half way into a freezer unit, reaching for heaven only knows what. A man coming the other way was also paying more attention to what he was buying than where he was going and stopped the stroller he was pushing too close to Spike. One of the children playfully kicked her leg, her foot hitting the side of the ex-vampire’s leg.

"Hey" he said, turning to yell at what ever was attacking him, only to find two cute little kids giggling at his expression, "Well, not quite what I was expecting" he half-smiled at the kids, one of which was clapping like a crazy thing by now, "You two should learn, s’not nice to go attacking folk like that" he smiled, before he realised something, "Bloody hell" he said under his breath as he took in the picture. Two little blonde girls and some shifty looking bloke pushing their stroller. He didn’t look anything like them, not even a little bit. Alarm bells went off in Spike’s head just as Illyria pulled herself up from the freezer and glanced over at the children.

"The babies from my vision" she said, confirming her companions thoughts. Without a moments hesitation, Spike stepped forward, grabbed the other man’s arm to spin him around and clocked him right across the chin. The children shrieked at the sound of violence and Buffy looked shocked as she appeared in the doorway and saw her fiancé fall.

"Davy!" she yelled, hurrying over to him. She knelt on the floor and was relieved to see he was awake, just a little stunned by the hit.

"What kind of psychopath are you!" she yelled, scrambling to her feet and facing the attacker. When she did so, she felt as if her legs would no longer hold her and she backed up against the nearest shelving unit to hold herself steady.

"Buffy" Spike breathed, almost unable to believe that he was actually her in this moment, standing opposite the woman he had loved for such a long time now. She hadn’t changed all that much, maybe slightly more tanned than she once was but other than that it was so obviously still her. Same hair, same eyes, same body, he noted as his eyes travelled down and then up again.

"No" was the first word out of her mouth, "No, no, it’s not you, it can’t be" she rambled, a frown forming on her face.

"It is me, luv" Spike told her gently, "I know you thought I was dead but, I’m back...again"

Sunlight trickling in from the window illuminated him in a strange glow and tears poured from Buffy’s eyes as she launched herself into his arms, hugging him so tight he couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t care. He held her just as tight, breathing in the scent of her hair, loving the feeling of her in his arms once again. It’d been too long.

Buffy was thinking the same thing as she revelled in the feeling of being held close by the man she loved, but she was forced to pull away slightly when she realised something.

"Your heart..." she said almost whispering as she put her hand to his chest and felt beating beneath her palm. Spike could only nod in response, before Buffy flung herself back into his embrace.

"I believe the dark-haired one is confused" Illyria told them, though neither Spike nor Buffy appeared to hear her. Rolling her eyes, she walked around them and helped Davy up from the floor.

"What...?" he said absently as he allowed Illyria to get him to his feet and he took in the sight of Buffy in another man’s arms, the man who’d just hit him!

"Spike hit you" the woman with the blue-streaked hair told him matter-of-factly, "We believed you to be evil of some kind, and we apologise if we were wrong"

"Spike?" he echoed as he watched the scene before him unfold, at the same time feeling his heart break a little.

"God, I’ve missed you" the bleached blond told the woman in his arms as she pulled back a little to look at him.

"I missed you too" she told him, blinking back further tears, as her fingers reached up and traced every detail of his face, the face she thought she’d never see again outside her dreams, "but, how are you here...and alive?" she frowned suddenly, "You sent me that letter, you were gone..."

"’S a long story, pet" he told her, pushing loose strands of hair from her face and tucking them behind her ear, "but if you’ve got time I’ll tell you it all"

"I do not wish to interrupt" Illyria said loudly to ensure she got their attention, "but there is the small matter of this man and these children to be rectified"

"Davy" Buffy said suddenly, pulling out of Spike’s arms and going to her fiancé, as if she’d just remembered he was there.

"I’m okay" he assured her as she winced at the sight of blood on his face, "Seems Spike has a good right swing"

"You hit my fiancé?" she frowned, spinning back to look at the ex-vampire, "Why?"

"This is...your fiancé?" was the only words Spike really took in and Illyria rolled her eyes, realising she was just about the only one here who seemed capable of focusing on anything important.

"Miss Summers" she turned to Buffy, "Do these children belong to you?" she asked and the Slayer glanced between the girl, Spike, and Davy, before her eyes landed on Ellie and Chloe, the latter of which was seconds away from crying.

"Oh, my babies" she said, kneeling down to their level and assuring them that the yelling and the punching was over and everything was okay.

"Er, guess that’d be a yes then" Spike frowned. Seemed Illyria’s second vision had been linked to her first. The kids she’d seen, the mother she’d channelled, it’d all been about...

"Buffy" he said aloud, almost exactly at the same time as Davy did.

The two men looked at each other and both felt nauseous. Spike hated to think of his love having moved on in life with this bloke that had presumably blessed her with the twins, whilst Davy knew he could never compete against the supposed love of Buffy’s life and the father of her children.

"Er, we should really talk" the Slayer realised, standing up and keeping a firm hold on the handle of the stroller when she felt a little woozy. Nobody was really sure who she was talking to.

"I should be at work" Davy realised suddenly checking his watch. Buffy opened her mouth to say something but he was already gone, despite the fact she called his name behind him right before the door slammed shut.

"I didn’t mean to..." Spike gestured vaguely at his own chin, indicating the area in which he’d struck the other man, "We thought he was evil"

"No" Buffy shook her head a smile playing on her lips, "This time I actually picked a guy that is normal, and in no way evil in either the past or present sense"

"That’s...good, I s’pose" Spike said awkwardly looking mostly at his boots. Illyria was stunned at how ridiculous he could be, so much the weak little boy. She hadn’t realised she was smirking til he accused her of it.

"S’pose you think this is bloody funny!" he shouted, waving an arm at her, "You don’t understand love so of course it’s bleedin’ hilarious that I..." he stopped when he realised Buffy was still looking at him.

"I do not find your suffering amusing, William" Illyria ground out, "Nor do I find the attention of the whole store at all gratifying" she pointed out to him just how many patrons of the shop were now watching him, "I suggest you and your Buffy Summers go elsewhere and continue to discuss whatever matters you feel the need to" she said, turning on her heal and leaving before either Spike or Buffy could say anything else, though both had noticed how the Slayer was again referred to as belonging to her ex-lover.

Ellie decided she wanted some attention now, and Chloe soon followed suit, both of them slamming their feet around and yelling nonsense words.

"I should get them home" Buffy realised, shaking her head as if to come out of a daze, but soon going straight back into said daze when she caught Spike’s eyes.

"You probably should" he answered absently, wondering what she’d do if he grabbed her and kissed her now.

"Come with me?" she asked with a smile, "Dawnie and Andrew are back at the apartment. They’re gonna go crazy when they see you’re back...you’re back" she repeated the last phrase as if it was all just sinking in, that Spike was actually back in the world and better than that he was a real live human.

As Spike stepped forward to walk with her, she put a hand to his arm, pulled him closer and put her lips to his. At first he was to startled to respond, but as soon as his brain caught up with the situation, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he fully participated in one brief moment of passion. Both of them were breathing unevenly when they parted, but smiling anyway.

"I’m sorry" Buffy said, looking at her feet, "That wasn’t fair, I mean, I have Davy and you have...well, the girl with the blue hair"

"There’s nothing like that between me and Illyria" he almost laughed at the suggestion, as he lifted her chin with his finger and made her look at him, "and anyway, you don’t ever have to apologise for...that" he smirked.

Next to them the kids were giggling and clapping again and Buffy suddenly came back down to reality with a thump.

"We really should get out of here" she realised, stepping out of Spike’s embrace and getting hold of the stroller to turn it around.

Spike followed her out the door, only to have her stop in the street and turn back to face him.

"Tell me again why you hit my fiancé" she frowned.

"Long story, pet" he told her, "but I’ll tell you the whole lot if you want to hear"

"Really do" she nodded as they headed for her home.