Pairing - S/B

Disclaimer - Even though we all would love to claim it as our own, everything Btvs and Ats belongs to the great and mighty Joss.

Rating - NC17 (eventually, pretty much G until spuffy happens)

Summary - Everything in season 5 has happened. Spike is corporeal. Au after that. I really suck at summaries that's all I'm tellin ya.

Richess' cmas challenge ( for a happy, spuffy ending) Part 2.

Feedback - is always good, let's me know if I'm going in the right direction.

Spike sat in Angels chair facing the window. Leaning back, closing his eyes and letting the sun wash over him.

"Get out of my chair Spike." Angel said as he came into his office.

"Let me think..No." Spike replied as he remained seated.

"Spike this is my office. Get out." Angel said a little more threateningly.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Again. NO." Spike said raising his voice. "Why don't I have an office? Everyone else does." Spike asked as he stood and started pacing.

"Cause they work here. You don't." Angel said taking his chair.

"Yes I do. I helped you before I was solid. You won't let me leave until all this universe is in upheavel thing is sorted. And I'm still helping you. That makes me an employee, who needs an office, a place to live. I can't keep staying here." Spike said angrily.

Angel dropped his head and siged.

"You're right." Angel said quietly.

"I'm what?"Spike said supised as he spun to face Angel.

Angel looked up at Spike. "You're right. I guess I never gave it a considerable amount of thought. I can have something for you by the end of the day." Angel finished looking at Spike.

"Good. Fine. End of the day would be fine." Spike said still a little stunned.

"Good can you leave now so I can get some work done." Angel said as he opened a folder.

"Will it be big? Will I have windows like these? Am I gettin an apartment too?" Spike asked hurriedly.

Angel just closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Right. I'll just go and see what science girl is up to." Spike said as he walked out of the office.

Angel was reading a file when Wesley walked into his office.

"Something really has to be done about Spike." Wesley said calmly.

"What's he done now?" Angel asked slumping back into the chair.

"Well he hasn't really done anything. But he keeps interrupting us while we're working. Can't you give him an assignment or something." Wesley said coming close to sounding like he was pleading.

"Just a minute Wes." Angel said picking up his phone.

"Harmony, check and see if there's another apartment in the building that's unoccupied." Angel said then hung up the phone.

Five minutes later Harmony walked into Angels office.

"There's only the two apartments in the building. Yours and one two floors up from yours." Harmony said as she set the paper down in front of Angel. "It's empty." Harmony said as she turned and walked out.

"Wesley, go tell Spike I have something for him to look into. This should keep him busy for awhile."

**********************

Spike and Angel rode the elevator in silence. When the door opened, they both stepped out glancing around.

It looked almost exactly like Angels, but it had two bedrooms.

"How come you took the smaller one Peaches?" Angel said as he walked around the apartment.

"Didn't even know this one was here." Angel answered.

"You're office will be ready by morning. Harmony will show you where it is." Angel said as she went back to the elevator.

"Do I have to keep it looking like this? Can I change the furniture and stuff?" Spike asked.

"It's yours, do what you want." Angel said inwardly wincing at the pictures in his head at what it will look like when Spike's finished.

Spike spent the remainder of the day in the apartment, going from room to room. He stood by the window watching the sun slowly disappear behind the buildings and the darkness began to take over.

*****************************

Willow walked into Wolfram and Hart, slowly making her way to reception while looking around.

"Hi. I'm here to see Angel." Willow said to the little bald guy behind the desk. "Are you his secretary?" Willow asked scrunching her eyebrows.

The little guy snoted. " No, she's went to lunch a couple hour ago. Someone had to take her place." The little man said looking at her disdainfully.

"Oh. Okay, Well I'm Will........

"I don't care who you are. He's in there." The little man said grumbling.

Willow stood there for a minute before knocking on his door.

"Come in." Angel said not looking up from his paper work.

"Hey. Nice to see you Angel." Willow said as she closed the door behind her.

"Willow." Angel said standing and walking around his desk.

Willow came over and hugged him.

"How've you been?" Willow asked when she pulled back.

"Good. The same." Angel replied with a small smile.

"Good. Glad to hear." Willow said as Angel led her to the sofa.

"Not that It's not good to see you, but what brings you to L.A.?" Angel asked as he sat down beside her.

"Actually I was coming through to go visit Xander and thought I'd stop by. You don't mind do you? Cause I could you know.." Willow said quickly.

"No. Willow it's fine." Angel assured her.

*******************

"It was good to see you Willow. Can you stop in on your way back?" Angel asked.

"Sure can. I'll se you in a couple days." Willow said as she closed his door and walked out into the lobby.

Willow pulled her keys out of her purse. When she went to close her purse, her keys fell to the floor.

Willow picked them up and started to walk still looking down, stopping in her tracks when she heard a familliar voice from somewhere behind her.

She slowly turned around and froze to the spot when she saw the familliar bleached hair and leather duster walking closer to her.

"I'm telling you pet, he's not the one for you." Spike said shaking his head as he continued walking with Fred.

"Well........he's nice....and he always finds time to talk to me. He's a good guy." Fred said defensively.

"Yeah....I'm sure he's a ' real good guy'. But you don't have that look about you." Spike replied.

"What look?" She asked hesitantly.

"The one where, the world could end tomorrow and you wouldn't care as long as that person was with you, or you knew they would survive and have a good life, with or without you." Spike said quietly answering her question.

"Wow." Fred whispered looking at Spike. She looked over his shoulder when she saw Willow standing behind him.

"Spike.............turn around." Fred said leading him by the elbow.

"What? What's so bloody important you ................" Spike stopped talking the minute his eyes landed on Willow.

Spike looked at her confusedly at first. "Willow?" Spike said as he looked her over.

"Spike. You're alive." Willow said moving the last couple of feet to stand in front of him.

"Undead." He said softly as he smiled. His looked turned to a concerned frown. "Buffy.............she's okay?" He asked hurriedly.

"Yeah, Buffy's fine. I just........was passing through and stopped by. Really glad I did." Willow said as she came in and wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

Spike was startled for a moment, Willow had never hugged him before. But after a minute she put his arms around her and returned the embrace.

"Buffy finally told me what you did. Thank you Spike. We wouldn't be here if you hadn't have done what you did." Willow said as she wiped away a tear.

"Why are you here? Why doesn't Buffy know?" Willow asked quietly.

Spiked ducked his head. "Long story luv." He whispered.

"I have at least fifty years thanks to you." Willow said watching him.

Spike smiled and shook his head. "Come on." Spike said quietly as he tilted his head. Spike led her to the elevator and up to his apartment.

"Nice place." Willow said as she looked around.

"Yeah, just got it today." Spike replied as he stepped into the livingroom and sat down.

"Okay......spill." Willow said as she sat down in the chair accross from him.

Spike pulled out his smokes. He took one then placd the pack on the table. He lit it then took a long hall as he looked at Willow.

"I still think you should call Buffy. She'd want to know your back." Willow said as she sat across from Spike.

Spike shook his head slowly as a small smile covered his lips.

"No she wouldn't. She doesn't need me back in her life mucking it up. It's better this way." Spike replied quietly.

"Better for who Spike?" Willow asked making him look at her.

"For her. For me. That part of her life is over. Me being there would be a constant reminder of what was lost." Spike answered honestly.

"I think you're wrong. I'll keep your secret.....well I won't tell her anyway, but if she askes I won't lie." Willow said sternly.

"Fair enough." Spike chuckled knowing this wouldn't be something that came up in idle conversation. He was pretty sure Buffy would never find out.

"Look, it's late. Why don't you stay here and leave in the morning." Spike said standing up and showing Willow to the spare room.

"I'll see you before you leave." Spike said as he bid goodnight.

*********************

Spike walked back into his apartment after seeing Willow off. He grabbed the paper that was sitting on the table and smiled as he read it.

Willow had left her cell number for him as well as Buffys just in case he changed his mind. She had also left specific times for him to call her if he chose to trying to keep her promise of secrecy.

Spike put the note in the drawer of his desk as he moved through the livingroom to his room.

He quickly removed his clothes and climbed into bed only pulling the sheet up to his hips.

He laid there unable to sleep for some time. Seeing Willow again made his thoughts drift to Buffy.

He was sure he made the right decision, but it didn't mean it was easy to stay away. It had to be the hardest thing he's ever done.

Dying twice, was easy compared to this.

After a few hours his eyes finally began to droop as sleep took over.

**********************

A few days later Spike and Angel greeted Willow as she walked through the lobby.

They spent some time in Angels office talking before she had to leave.

On her way out she went over to Spike and hugged him tightly.

"I told Xander I would be visiting more often. So i'll be stopping by alot. Give you the scoop of what's what." Willow said as she pulled back.

"You got my note right?" Willow asked as she pulled her keys from her purse.

"Yeah......I got it." Spike replied.

"Good. Make sure you use it." Willow said with a face that broached no argument from Spike.

"Alright pet. I'll keep in touch." Spike said chuckling.

"You do that."Willow replied as she turned and left the building.

"What was that about?" Angel asked as he came out of his office towards Spike.

"Nothing." Spike said as he turned and walked away.

**********************

Willow pulled into the driveway. As she climbed out of the car she was greeted by a smiling Buffy.

"So anything interesting happen?" Buffy said as she grabbed Willows bags.

"You could say that." Willow replied closing the car door.

"How was Xander doing?" Buffy asked not hearing Willows comment.

Willow sighed as she tried to figure out a way for Buffy to bring up Spike.

"Xanders Xander. He misses you though. Misses everyone." Willow replied.

"I know. I miss him too." Buffy replied as she opened the front door.

"Maybe you should come sometime. I promised I'd visit more often. In fact I'll be going there in about four weeks." Willow said hopefully.

"Sounds good Will. I'm sure they can live without me her for awhile. Time away might be good." Buffy said as she set Willow bags down on her bed.

"Yeah. A road trip. You and me and the open road." Willow said excitedly.

Buffy laughed as she sat on the bed.

"So, how is he really?" Buffy asked more serious.

"He's dealing. But he doesn't look well Buffy. Maybe we could talk him into moving here." Willow said as she bagan to unpack.

"That bad?" Buffy asked an a quiet voice.

Willow just nodded throwing her laundry into the basket.

"We'll work it out. Don't worry." Buffy replied as she stood up and went to the door turning back to face Willow.

"Call him. See if he wants to spend Christmas with us. It's a couple months away. In the meantime, we can work on getting him to move here." Buffy said as she walked out of the room.

Willow picked up the phone and dialed Xanders number.

"Xand, what are you dong for Christmas?" Willow asked.

"Apparently something with you." Xander replied with amusement in his voice.

"Better beleive it mister." Willow said as she came to a decision.

"Are you sitting down?" Willow asked as she moved over and closed her door tight.

"This is something I need to sit down for?" Xander replied wincing slightly as his voice hitched.

"Yeah.......sitting would be a good idea." Willow said.

"Oh god. Just tell me." Xander said bracing himself.

Willow relayed everything about Spike to Xander covering everything from the time he reappeared.

Willow heard a thud as her brows furrowed.

"You didn't sit down did you?" Willow asked with a frown.

"I'm okay. Really." Came Xander strangled reply.

"I'm sorry Will. I know I said I would go, but I can't." Buffy said dejectedly. "Giles said he needed me here this weekend." Buffy said as she sat on her bed.

"Why? There's plenty of slayers now, you don't need to be here for slaying." Willow said as she sat down beside Buffy.

"I know. He has to go to London for some kind of Watcher business, I really don't remember exactly, all I remember is him saying I'm needed here in his place." Buffy replied quietly.

Willow huffed as she threw herself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Quickly followed by Buffy.

"This is so not fair." Buffy said.

Willow never replied just continued to look at the ceiling.

"Where's Giles?" Willow said as a thought came to her.

"I don't know. I think he went out in the yard." Buffy said as she sat up.

"Pack a bag." Was all Willow said as she walked out of the room.

******************************

"I don't know what you said to him, but thanks Willow." Buffy said as she threw her bag into the back of the car.

"Nothing much." Willow said smiling as she climbed behind the wheel.

Buffy and Willow smiled as they looked at one another when the car started.

"I can't wait to see Xander." Buffy said as she rolled her window down.

"Me too." Willow replied as she pulled out on to the road and drove.

****************************

"Oh god. That had to have been the grossest restroom ever." Buffy said as her body shook just thinking about all those germs that had to have jumped on her.

Willow visibly shivered at the remembrance.

"No more stops at gas stations." Buffy said quickly as she used wet wipes trying to clean away the germs and possible diseases.

Willow nodded vigorously as she eyed the wet wipes.

"If you want I'll drive if you want to clean up." Buffy offered as she started putting all the used wipes in a bag.

Willows was torn between wanting to be germ and possibly disease free and arriving at Xanders in one piece as her face paled, remembering the last time she was in the car as Buffy drove. Another shudder ripped through her body.

"No, I'm good." Willow replied as she looked longingly at those towelettes in Buffy's hand.

"You sure Will?" Buffy asked as she put them in the glove compartment.

"Yeah, positive." Willow replied quickly but with a smile. *Oh god, my leg is itchy, is something crawling up my leg?* Willow thought as she chewed on her lip.

She glanced over and saw Buffy put on her sunglasses and turn to watch out the window.

"Hey there's a store." Willow said quickly. "Kinda thirsty." Willow added as she pulled off the highway.

"I'll get it." Buffy said as she slid out of the car.

Once Buffy was out of sight Willow dove for the glove compartment.

**********************

"We're coming up on L.A. Wanna stop and see Angel?" Willow said watching Buffy out of the corner of her eye.

"No." Buffy said quietly as she continued to stare out the window.

"Really?" Willow said flabbergasted as her head spun to look at Buffy.

"Yeah, really. I don't wanna........ I can't.....It's so complicated Willow." Buffy finally said.

"Why don't you tell me? I thought you and Angel were friends." Willow said quietly.

"We are friends. But after the last time we saw each other, I realized somethings, and I'm not ready to see him yet." Buffy answered.

"What kinda things?" Willow asked as her brows furrowed.

"Big things. Life altering kinda things. Life that doesn't involve him things." Buffy said as she turned to face Willow.

"Well isn't that why he left Sunnydale in the first place?" Willow asked. "Why be afraid to talk to him?"

"I'm not afraid. Just not ready. And ya, that's why he left. But he never really left Willow. He said he'd wait, but he's not the one I want to be waiting." Buffy said as she laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.

************************

Buffy had fallen asleep as Willow drove through L.A. Willow watched the building as she drove past Wolfram and Hart.

************************

"Buff." Xander said as he enveloped Buffy in a tight hug.

"Hey." Buffy almost whispered as she returned the hug gently.

"So good to see you guys." Xander said as he hugged Willow lifting her off her feet, spinning her around.

"I missed you too." Willow whispered in his ear as her tears fell.

"Hey, what's this? They better be happy tears." Xander said as he set her down and pulled back.

Willow just smiled as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"We really miss you Xander. Hence the road trip." Buffy said as she grabbed their bags from the car.

Xander smiled as he pulled away from Willow and grabbed the bags from Buffy.

"C'mon, I'll show you where you can sleep." Xander said as he turned towards the building followed by Willow and Buffy.

When they were all settled they converged in the living room. Willow and Xander sat and talked about Tara and Anya while Buffy sat and listened.

"Remember Buff?" Xander said as he smiled.

"Huh? What?" Buffy asked bringing herself out of her thoughts as she looked at Xander.

"When Spike first came to Sunnydale, how we were all scared of him. Kinda ironic that he came there to kill you.......and ended up dying to save you. Save us all." Xander said quietly as he watched Buffy.

"I.......I'm really tired. I'm sorry Xand. I think I should get some sleep." Buffy said with a small smile as she got up and went to the bedroom.

"Do you think there was more to their relationship than they let on?" Xander asked quietly.

"Not physically, no. But there was something there that we never saw, or didn't want to.........or even understand." Willow said as she too a sip of her tea.

"He doesn't want her to know." Xander stated as he took a swallow of his beer.

"No. But I think she should know." Willow said placing her cup on the table.

"He said it was easier this way. That it was for the best. If it was meant to be it'll happen when it's time. When he's ready." Xander said looking at Willow.

"What if he never tells her?" Willow asked.

"Then it's what he wanted. Look Willow, I never liked him. I never hid that fact from anyone. But I respect him for what he did and is trying to do." Xander said shaking his head slightly. "He's doing what he thinks is right, for all we know it could be. I for one am not going to be the guy to take his decision from him. Looking back at Spike's entire existence, it's always been taken from him. Becoming a vampire, getting chipped, fight for Buffy or else........until he wanted too on his own, what the First did. Hell even the amulet, Buffy gave it to him.......there was no decision for him to make. It's his choice Will, I can't take it from him." Xander said as he drained his bottle.

Willow and Xander stayed p awhile longer, falling asleep together on the couch.

Willow woke up to see Buffy sitting out on the balcony sipping a cup of coffee.

Willow went to the kitchen and poured herself a cup and joined Buffy, closing the glass door behind her so they wouldn't disturb a still sleeping Xander.

Buffy just smiled at Willow before turning her gaze back out to the city before them.

"Buffy........can I ask you something? If it makes you uncomfortable you don't have to answer." Willow said quietly running a finger around the rim of her mug.

"Okay." Buffy answered quietly after a minute.

"Whenever Spike is brought up in conversation you get really quiet, then make an excuse and leave. Was there something going on between the two of you?" Willow asked softly as she watched Buffy.

Buffy stared straight ahead not answering.

Willow lowered her head slowly as she took a deep breath.

"It's okay you don't have to answer............

"No. Not in the way that you mean. There was nothing between us like that." Buffy said as she turned to face Willow. "But I wanted there to be." Buffy added whispering as a tear fell.

Willow moved forward in her seat and placed a comforting hand on Buffys arm.

"That night when..............the night I was told to leave." Buffy said quietly. "None of you wanted me around. You were scared..... so was I." Buffy said looking at Willow.

A silent tear fell down Willow cheek as she watched Buffys carefully hidden feelings come out.

"He found me.......in some random house I picked as I walked around, I was so tired, so lost Will....and I was scared. Scared we were all going to die and there was nothing I could do to stop it." Buffy said as she relived that night in her mind.

"He wouldn't leave me. No matter what he wouldn't leave me." Buffy said as more tears fell.

"I remember every word he said to me that night. When he said them I knew he meant every word. Everything he said, it gave me the strength I needed to fight and win." Buffy said quietly. "If it wasn't for him, I don't think I could have."

"What did he say to you?" Willow asked softly, curiously.

"He said he loved me, that he didn't want anything from me, that it didn't have anything to do with him. He said he loved what I am, what I do........how I try. He said he's seen my strength and my kindness. The best and worst of me........and that he understood with perfect clarity exactly what I am. He told me that I was a hell of a woman. I was the one." Buffy said with a sad smile.

Willow fell back into her chair and stared out into the city.

"When I figured out how to win, I thought when it was all over I could tell him. But when the amulet took over, he knew right then he wouldn't make it. I tried to get him to leave, but he refused to go. I grabbed his hand and I told him................he didn't beleive me." Buffy said as she wiped away another tear.

"What did you tell him?" Willow asked quietly looking back to Buffy.

"That I loved him.........he said 'No you don't, but thanks for saying it.' " Buffy said quietly. "He died thinking I didn't love him. But I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. See........it's not Angel I want to be waiting for me." Buffy said as she stood up and opened the door going into the apartment.

Willow sat on the balcony and turned when when she heard Xander coming out.

"I heard." Xander said as he sat beside Willlow.

"I didn't think her feelings for him were that deep or strong. What are we going to do Xander?" Willow said as she laid her head on his shoulder.

Xander let out a long breath as he ran his fingers over Willows hair.

"Remember what I said lastnight." Xander said as he took a drink of coffee.

Willow nodded her head.

"Well forget it. Think we can pull it off by Christmas?" Xander asked.

Willow smiled as she turned to look at Xander.

"You keep Buffy busy. I think I'm gonna take a quick side trip to LA. I'll see you tonight." Willow said as she stood up.

Xander nodded as Willow went into the apartment and headed for the bathroom.

Willow showered and dressed quickly then went to the car.

Willow pulled out her phone as she started driving down the street.

"Hello?" Spike said as he picked up the phone in his apartment.

"Hey Spike, it's me." Willow said as she smiled.

"Red.....everythings ok?" Spike asked worriedly.

"Well sort of, but not really. Look I'm actually on my way there now, I should be there in about an hour." Willow said as she turned the corner and heading out on to the highway.

"What do you mean not really?" Spke asked quickly.

*This may not be as hard as I thought* Willow thought to herself.

"I'll talk to you about it when I get there okay. I'll see you soon." Willow said as she closed her phone.

Spike looked at the phone worriedly as he sat waiting for Willow to arrive. This was going to be a very long hour.

"So what's going on?" Spike asked quickly jumping to his feet when he saw Willow come through his door.

"Nothing apocolipty, don't worry. Just a minor problem really. I though maybe you could help with." Willow said smiling sheepishly.

Spike rolled his eyes as he sat back down.

"You could have said that you know. Nearly gave me a bloody heart attack. Well.....if my heart beat, it would have." Spike said exasperated.

Willow came over to sit across from Spike.

"You can say no if you want." Willow started to say.

"I might." Spike cut in as he smirked at her.

"Thing is....Buffy is leaving for England a few days before Christmas. All the slayers will be travelling with her, as well as Giles. They're going there to oversee the set up of the new council. Some slayers will come back, others will stay. Strictly volunteer on who stays. Buffy will be coming back, but she'll return with the other slayers around the end of January. That leaves the hellmouth unguarded for a month. It's just me there, and I was wondering if you could come and help out for a month." Willow said as she took a breath.

Spike leaned back on the couch as he lit a smoke.

"You haven't told her?" Spike said as he looked at Willow through hooded eyes.

"No Spike. I said I wouldn't." Willow said honestly.

Spike rolled his cigarette through his finger as he thought about what Willow was asking.

"Can I think about this?" Spike aske quietly.

"If it makes you uncomfortable you don't have to. I can always aske Xander if you're not up to it." Willow said as she grabbed her purse making to leave.

"Xander.........how is he gonna help?" Spike asked dumbfounded.

"He's been fighting demons all these years too." Willow said in defence.

"More watching than fighting. He doesn't have the strength or the stamina and you know it Red." Spike said slightly agitated.

"Maybe not, but it's not like I have alot of choices here Spike." Willow said matter of factly.

"Why not Peaches?" Spike asked quickly.

"Angel wouldn't leave L.A., too much for him to do here now." Willow said.

"Why me?" Spike asked quietly.

"I know you. I trust you. You're the only one who could do it." Willow said with a small smile.

Spike ducked his head as he smiled. "Okay. I'll come." Spike replied quietly.

"Thank you Spike. I'll call you when she leaves for London." Willow said as she got up and grabbed her jacket.

"Where are you off too? You just got here." Spike said watching her.

"Xanders expecting me. I didn't have very much time to stop here this time. But you have my number, call anytime." Willow said smiling as she walked out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow was driving back to Xanders when her phone rang.

She pulled it out of her pocket and placed it to her ear.

"Hello." Willow said as she watched a car pass her.

"Hello Red." Spike said casually.

Willow started to laugh. "I'v only been gone twenty minutes Spikes."

"I know, but I needed to ask you something I've been thinking about for some time now." Spike replied seriously.

"Ask away." Willow said listening intently.

"What do you think Buffy's reaction would be if she seen me? Do you think I'm right in staying away?" Spike asked quietly.

"I think you already know my answer Spike." Willow replied.

"Humor me?" Spike said with a gravely voice.

"I think she would cry if she seen you." Willow said softly.

"Yeah, maybe it's best this way then." Spike said swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Happy tears Spike, not sad." Willow said soothingly. "Think about it Spike."

Spike nodded instead of answering.

"I'll talk to you soon." Willow said as she closed her phone and continued driving to Xanders with a smile forming on her lips.

Willow walked back into Xanders and threw her bag down on the sofa as she went through to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

"So how'd it go? Good news I hope." Xander said looking up from his seat at the table.

Willow looked around for Buffy.

"She's not here. She just left a few minutes a go. She'll be back soon, she went to the store." Xander said watching Willow and waiting for her answer.

"Okay." Willow said as she came and sat beside him. "It worked. He's coming to New York for Christmas." Willow said as she smiled.

"What did you tell him?" Xander asked as he took a drink of his coffee.

Willow leaned back in her chair as she told Xander the story she had woven for Spike.

Xander smiled. "So as far as he knows, you're the only one who knows he back." Xander said as he took another drink.

Willow nodded as she smiled back.

"In order to pull this off, do you think we need to bring everyone in on this, or can we do this ourselves?" Xander asked.

"It would be easier if everyone knew, but there's a chance something might slip. I think it's better if it's just you and me." Willow replied.

"Fair enough." Xander replied in full agreement.

"So it will all come together..................hey Buffy." Willow said as she saw Buffy walk through the door.

"Hi Will. Where did you go today?" Buffy asked as she came in and joined them at the table.

"Oh.....Uh there's a wicca group in the next town over, thought I'd drop by and have a look while I was in the area." Willow said quickly.

"Oh." Buffy said as she grabbed a banana from the bowl in the middle of the table.

"So what do you two want to do today?" Xander asked as he looked around the table.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders as she peeled the banana. "As long as we do something together, I don't care what it is." Buffy replied smiling.

"Beach and picnic sound good?" Xander replied.

"Sounds great. We never get to go to a beach in New York. I really miss that." Buffy replied.

"I didn't bring a bathing suit." Willow said.

"Me either. So let's hit the mall quickly and grab one. If we leave now we can be back in an hour." Buffy said.

"You girls do that, I'll grab all the food and I'll pick you up at the mall and we'll leave from there." Xander said as he stood up.

"Sounds like a plan." Buffy replied as she and Willow got up, brabbed their purses and followed Xander out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Willow threw their bags into the trunk of the car, closed the lid and turned to Xander.

"I'm really going to miss you Xander." Buffy said as she hugged him.

"Me too Buff." Xander replied.

"Think about it okay. We have plenty of room." Buffy said as she pulled back.

"Okay, I'll think about it." Xander replied smiling softly at Buffy.

"You better think about it mister." Willow said as he wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into a tight embrace.

Xander chuckled softly. "I promise."

"I'll call you tonight." Willow said as she pulled back and started walking to the driver side.

"Be careful on the way back." Xander replied as he watched them climb into the car and do up their seatbelts.

Xander waved as he watched them pull out of the driveway. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he kept his eyes on the car until it was no longer in sight.

He slowly turned and walked back to the building.

He sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the wall. He never new axactly how much he missed his old life until this moment. Now that he was alone, the silence was almost deafening as he glanced around his apartment.

Maybe Spike wasn't the only one who needed to be brought home, Xander thought as he closed his eyes.

Buffy came out of her room and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. Hearing the shower running she continued on to the livingroom. She was just about to sit down when she heard the cell phone on the table ringing.

Buffy noticed it was Willows phone as she picked it up and and answered it.

"Hello." Buffy said as she finished sitting down.

Dead silence.

"Hello." Buffy repeated as her brows furrowed.

All Buffy heard was an intake of breath before hearing the click of the other end hanging up.

Buffy looked at the phone as she set it down, not recognizing the number.

Buffy got up when she smelled coffee brewing and went to the kitchen and poured herself a cup.

As she made her way back to the livingroom, Willow was coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

"Hey Will, your phone rang but when I answered it, whoever it was hung up." Buffy said as she sat back down.

"They didn't leave a message?" Willow said trying to sound casual.

"No." Buffy replied taking a sip of her coffee.

Willow picked up the phone and checked the number. "Oh, it was just one of the wiccas I met while we were at Xanders last month. She's really shy." Willow said as she headed for her bedroom.

Buffy just nodded as she drank her coffee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow closed her door as she dialed the number quickly.

The phone rang several time before being picked up.

The other end was silent.

"Spike?" Willow asked quickly.

"Red." Spike said letting out a an unneeded breath.

"Yea, it's me. Sorry about that, I was in the shower when you called." Willow replied.

"Just took me by surprise is all." Spike replied in a slightly shaky voice.

"What's up?" Willow inquired.

"Nothing, I was just calling to see how everyone was." Spike replied quietly.

"Everyone is doing fine." Willow said knowing he meant Buffy.

They talked for a little while before Willow hung up and got dressed.

Willow brushed her hair then went back out to the livingroom.

Willow sat down and grabbed the coffee the Buffy had made her, taking a drink before setting it back on the table.

"Did Xander tell you what time he'd be getting here tomorrow?" Buffy asked.

"He said around two. It's going to be nice to have him around again." Willow replied.

"Yeah it is." Buffy said. "Glad he took us up on our offer."

"Well he kinda had no choice. All the harrassing phone calls he recieved, I knew he's eventually cave and move here." Willow said smiling.

Buffy laughed quietly. "Even Giles called." Buffy said shaking her head.

"It'll be good for him here, and it's not like we can't use his help around here." Willow stated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Willow came out of the kitchen carrying a plate of sandwiches when they heard a knock at the door.

Buffy put the plate on the table as she went over to answer it.

Buffy opened the door to reveal Xander standing on the other side.

"Willow." Buffy screamed as she threw herself into his arms.

Willow came running to the door only to stop when she saw Xander.

"You said you weren't coming until tomorrow." Willow scolded him as she hugged him and Buffy.

"Thought I'd suprise you." Xander said as he pulled back.

"It worked." Willow replied as they pulled him into the house.

"The truck will be here tomorrow. I just wanted to get here." Xander said as he followed them into the livingroom.

"Glad you did. We got the basement all ready for you. It already had it's own bath down there, we thought it would be perfect for you. Lot's of privacy." Buffy said smiling.

Xander had been living with them for a month now and Christmas was fast approaching.

Christmas was now only a week away. Only five days until Spikes arrival.

"Will. Have you called Spike to cancel his trip here yet?" Xander whispered over his coffee.

"Yeah, I told him Buffys plans changed and she isn't leaving until Christmas eve day. He'll be here then." Willow whispered back.

"What's with all the whispering? Is there secrets?"Buffy said eagerly.

Willow laughed. "Sorry Buff. No secrets. We were trying to be quiet. Thought you were sleeping." Willow said shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh." Buffy said with a small pout.

"But we do have a secret Will." Xander said as he glanced at the Christmass tree.

Buffy turned to look and saw a box leanng up aainst the wall that was easily half the size of the tree.

"That wasn't there last night." Buffy said getting and going over to the gift quickly. "Oh my god, it's huge. What is it?" Buffy asked.

"Do you not understand the concept of Christmas morning?" Xander said quickly receiving an elbow to the ribs when he came up behind her.

"You know me and suprises." Buffy replied.

"Don't worry Buff, you love this one." Xander stated.

"I'm sure I will." Buffy replied as they went back to the table and finished their coffee.

The next six days had been spent preparing for their new arrival.

Things were bought and hidden so as not to be seen.

Extra gifts added to the pile, with no name written on them.

When asked they were expecting an old friend to come for a visit.

Noone seemed to aske many questions which made it quite easy to pull it off.

Xander kept anything they had bought for Spike in the basement, stuff that wasn't going under the tree.

Willow contacted Spike more frequently as the days went by, just to cement their plans.

Finally the day was here.

It was Christmas eve day.

Buffy was in need of a big distraction.

Willow was supposed to pick up Spike. But thought it'd be better if Xander did. She could keep Buffy out of the house all day with the idea of shopping.

"Now remember to tell him I had no choice. I had to go out on officail business. You know something slayee." Willow said as quietly.

"Will do Will. Think he'll pop a brain cell when he see's me instead of you?" Xander said smiling.

"You better not give him a hard time mister." Willow said sternly.

"Would I do that? Will I'm hurt, how could you even think...........okay, I'll be good." Xander conceeded.

"He said he'd be here around two. I just finished talking to him. I'll keep Buffy out until around six. That'll give him time to get settled in. Make sure you hide Buffys gifts. Dead giveaway if they're all under the tree." Willow said.

"Gotcha. Don't worry Willow, I can do this." Xander said quietly trying to calm her down.

"I know, but he's expecting me, not you. I feel bad for lying to them." Willow said.

"Look at the big picture Willow. What we're doing is right and you know." Xander replied.

Willow nodded her head and jumped slightly when Buffy came into the room.

Buffy looked at Willow who was fidgeting....alot.

Buffy shook her head. "Willow how many cups of coffee did you have this morning?"Buffy asked.

"Just one....maybe more. I'm not sure. Are you ready to go, quality shopping time. Last minute bargains." Willow said dangling the carot in front of Buffy's nose.

Buffy grabed her jacket and purse quickly following Buffy out the door and into the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander ran around doing the last minute preparations.

Then he sat back and waited as he watched the clock.

He watched as the clock neared two, he sat there nevously waiting.

He turned towards the front of the house when he heard the car pull up.

Xander stood by the front door and waited til he hear Spikes fast approach up the walk before opening the door and inviting him in quietly, so as not to be heard.

Spike came running into the house, smoke billowing behind him all the way.

Xander closed the door that he'd been standing behind as Spike turned to face him.

Spike froze.

Xander smiled.

"Hey Spike. How's it going?" Xander asked as he brushed past a very confused Spike.

Xander came back from the kitchen and seen Spike still standing in the same spot.

"Willow told me. Business came up or I probably would be fiding this out right along with you." Xander said handing him a beer.

Spike accepted the beer and followed Xander to the livingroom.

They both sat down and stared at each other.

"So." Xander started as Spke took a long and much needed swallow of beer. "You're back. How's that workin for ya?" Xander asked trying not to laugh at the shocked yet amused look on Spike's face.

"Better than bein a bleedin ghost." Spike muttered.

"You were a ghost?" Xader asked sitting forward.

Spike just nodded as he took another swallow. "Sort of yeah."

"Spike relax. There's no stake in my hand and there won't be either. I know what you did. Thank you." Xander said looking directly at Spike.

Spike just looked at him not sure how to respond, so he just looked away and fidgeted in his seat.

"Willow won't be back until around six. I'll get your stuff then put it in the room" Xander said as he stood up and went to the door.

Xander entered a minute later xarrying Spikes duffle bag, quickly disappearing down the hall, coming out a minute later without the bag.

"Spike that is one cool car. Where'd you get it?" Xander asked.

Spike smiled widely. "Peaches." Spike said as he sat back.

"Angel let you use his car?" Xander asked.

"He has alot of them. And no." Spike said smirking.

Xander smiled and laughed. "I'm starting to like you even more."

Spike chuckled as he grabed his beer from the table.

"Wanna play some pool?" Ander asked standing up.

"Sure. Where we going?" Spike asked.

"Downstairs." Xander said as Spike followed him.

"This is your room then?" Spike asked.

"Yeah just moved here about a month ago. My room and bathroom is through there. I kept this room for playing pool, video games and stuff. Where we could all relax." Xander replied.

"Video games." Spike said. "Do you have Resident Evil?" Spike asked curiously.

"Gotta have that one." Xander said smiling as he moved over to the rack of games. Xander opened the cupboard door to reveal the television and PS2.

Spike smiled as Xander turned it on and threw the game in.

Spike sat down and grabbed the remote and started playing.

Xander played pool until Spike lost then they would switch places.

This pretty much went on for the next few hours, as well as several trips to the fridge for beer.

"Bloody hell." Spike said as he threw the remote.

"No more games for Spke." Xander said as he turned everything off.

"But I was winning." Spike complained.

"Was is the operative word here. Hence the throwing of the remote and the subsequent action of me turning it off." Xander replied.

Spike looked at the basement window. "Reds home." Spike said gettin up from the sofa and starting for the stairs.

"Yeah, little later than I thought though. It's almost seven thirty." Xander said following him up the stairs.

Spike just shrugged as he went upstairs to the front door throwing it open and walking out to the drivway.

"Bout time you showed up Red." Spike said with a small smile as he walked toward the car.

"Hey Spike." Willow said quietly getting out of the drivers side.

Spike moved over and gave her a hug. They turned and walked around the car to the other side when he stopped.

Catching the familliar scent he slowly turned around to see her staring at him as she climbed out of the passenger side.

She rose to her feet dropping the bags she was holding, letting them fall to the pavement.

Spike stared at her for what felt like an eternity before he looked at Willow and Xander.

"Spike, I ..... look all this stuff to put away. I'm gonna....go..now." Willow stuttered as her and Xander made a quick entrance onto the house closing the door behind them.

"Buffy you were never supposed to know......." Spiked never finished his sentence.

Buffy flew into his arms and captured his lips, holding him tightly.

Spike's arms wrapped around her trembling form as he returned the kiss, pouring all his pent up emotions into it.

Buffy broke the kiss when she needed to breath as she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"When?" Was all Buffy asked.

"A few weeks after." Spike replied.

"You waited until now." Buffy said stepping back but not letting go of him.

"Didn't think you needed or wanted me around." Spike said shrugging his shoulders.

"You were wrong. I'm always going to need you. Always going to want you. That's what it's like when you love someone." Buffy said quietly.

"I told you that day. I thought we'd have time after to work on things. If I'd have known." Buffy trailed off.

"You meant what you told me?" Spike asked in awe.

"I meant it. I love you." Buffy said again.

Spike smiled as he captured her lips again.

"I love you too Buffy. Always." Spike replied tenderly.

"Please don't leave." Buffy whispered in his ear.

"Never again, I promise." Spike said as he held her tight.

Spike and Buffy sat together on the couch as Willow and Xander decided to call it a night.

"Come on." Buffy said as she tugged Spike to his feet and pulled him down the hall to her room.

Spike stopped when he saw his bag on the floor at the foot of the bed.

"We're really gonna have to thank Red and the whelp for this." Spike said coming to sit on the edge of the bed.

Buffy looked to the doorway when the clock in the hall chimed midnight.

"Merry Christmas Spike." Buffy said as she turned to look into his eyes.

"Merry Christmas Buffy." Spike replied.

Buffy stood between his legs as she dipped her head and kissed him softly.

They laid back on the bed gently. Losing themselves in each other.

Xander and Willow snuck back out and put all the gifts back under the tree and wrapped the ones they'd had hidden.

"Merry Christmas Xander." Willow said as she looked at the tree.

"I know you don't celebrate, but Merry Christmas Will." Xander said placing a kiss to her forehead.

"See you in the morning." Willow said as they both went to their rooms.

Buffy and Spike watched the lights twinkle on the tree as they sat wrapped up together in a blanket, laying on the sofa.

This is the first time either of them was actually looking forward to what the future may hold.

As long as they had each other that's all that mattered to them.

Spike smiled as he felt Buffy fall asleep on his chest.

He laid his head back and smiled contentedly. Drifting off to sleep with the woman he loved more than anything, a woman who actually loved him in return. Some thing he had to wait several lifetimes to find. He finally found it. Love. Acceptance. Loyalty. And she was sleeping on his chest, with her arms wrapped protectively around him.

"Aww they look so cute." Willow whispered from the doorway to the living room.

"Are they naked under there?" Xander asked.

Willow rolled her eyes and dragged him out the front door. "Come on Xand, let's go see how the slayers are doing." Willow said as she closed the door behind them leaving Buffy and Spike sleeping peacefully in front of the tree.