"Are you sure you ave to go back?" Buffy asked Giles as they stood at the airport waiting for his flight to be called.

"I've been gone too long already. I wish I could stay." Giles said to Buffy with a sad smile as he glanced at Joyce briefly.

"So do I." Buffy said as she hugged him tightly.

"I'm going to miss you. But I'll see you in August when you return to London." Giles replied.

"You'll get too see Willow before she comes back. She's not due back for another week yet." Buffy replied.

Giles just smiled. "Bless her heart. It's going to terribly lonely without either of you there. Or You." Giles said turning to Spike.

"I'll be visiting quite often. You'll probably be glad the day I leave." Spike said smiling.

"That day will never happen." Giles replied. "If I can, I'm going to try and come back again before the end of summer. Spend some more time with all of you."

"We'll look forward to it." Joyce replied quietly.

Giles looked at Joyce and smiled before picking up his bag when his flight was announced.

He turned and hugged Spike and Buffy. He gave Joyce a small hug then placed a small kiss on her cheek, pulling back and meeting her eyes, before turning and walking through the gates.

Joyce turned and walked to the car park followed by two sets of curious eyes who witnessed the whole exchange between the two parents.

"I think it's sweet..........but kinda.......gross. They're old." Buffy said quietly to Spike as Joyce walked slightly ahead.

"What? You think I'm not going to be shagging you senseless when we're they're age." Spike said waggling his eyebrows.

"You're a pig Spike." Buffy said batting his arm and smiling.

"Yeah." Spike agreed.

They both quietly climbed into the back of the SUV.

Joyce dropped them off at the Espresso Pump before she continued on home.

Spike grabbed the coffee while Buffy got them a table.

Buffy looked at the counter only to see Harmony all over Spike. Buffy rolled her eyes when Spike paid for the drinks and practically ran back to the table.

"Not taking no for an answer huh?" Buffy replied.

"I'm guessing she's never heard it before." Spike replied.

Spike dove in and captured Buffy's mouth in a passionate kiss.

"Hoping she was watching?" Buffy said smirking when they broke the kiss.

"Well a little. But mostly I just wanted a kiss." Spike replied honestly.

"How about we take these to go and just walk around." Buffy suggested.

"Sounds good luv." Spike replied as they stood up and headed out of the shop hand in hand.

Buffy and Spike spent the remainder of the day walking around town, stopping occasionally to grab a drink or a snack.

They approached the house and didn't see Joyce vehicle in the driveway. As they went inside they heard the phone ringing. Buffy rushed over and grabbed the phone.

"Hello." Buffy said quickly. "Oh, yeah just a sec." Buffy said bringing the phone over to Spike.

"It's Oz." Buffy said as Spike took the phone and placed it to his ear.

"Hey Oz." Spike said.

"Hey man. Look this is last minute I know, but I just got the call a minute ago. Well the L.A. club The Heat, the band cancelled and they were supposed to go on tonight. Wanna go to L.A. tonight?" Oz asked.

"Hold on." Spike said as he looked at Buffy. "You up to a quick trip to L.A. luv?" Spike asked. "We just got a last minute gig."

"When do we go?" Buffy asked excitedly.

Spike smiled. "What time do we leave?" Spike asked still smiling at Buffy.

"I'm thinking....now." Oz replied.

"See ya soon."Spike replied.

"I'll grab the rest of the guys and load the van. You and Buffy can go on ahead and meet us there." Oz said.

"Okay mate, see you there." Spike replied then hung up the phone.

"Well, let's go then." Spike said as he grabbed Buffy's hand.

"Wait, don't you have to change?" Buffy asked.

"What for?" Spike asked in reply.

Buffy just shrugged and grabbed her jacket and keys on the way out the door.

Buffy sat backstage next to Spike as they waited to be called to the stage.

They all made small talk while Oz was on the phone talking to Willow, which became a ritual before every show.

They all stood up when they heard a knock letting them know they were on in five minutes.

"Have to go luv." Spike said as he leaned into Buffy and captured her lips passionately.

They pulled apart breathing heavily.

"Save your energy for the stage Romeo." Faith quipped as she and Angel walked in the room.

Buffy and Spike chuckled as he kissed her again then turned and left the room winking at her before he walked out of sight.

"Oh god." Faith said as she walked over to Oz and took the phone from him and shoved him out the door.

"Yeah Red, I'm on it, he's on his way to the stage now." Faith replied as she listened to Willow. "Sure thing Will, he'll call when it's over as usual." Faith talked to Willow for a minute before hanging up.

"So B. You ready to see your boy rock?" Faith said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah." Buffy replied smiling.

Faith kissed Angel before going over to Buffy.

"Got us a primo spot to watch the show."Faith said grabbing the camera and leading Buffy out of the room and out into the crowd.

Faith had the dead centre of the crowd in full view of the stage and the crowd surrounding them.

"Didn't take long for it to fill up when word got out who was playing." Faith said to Buffy as she checked the view through the camera one more time.

"There's more people here than what me and Willow saw on the tape." Buffy said smiling and looking at the crows who was jumping around excitedly.

"They're going places Buff. Won't be long before we won't see them very much." Faith said as the lights dimmed over the crowd and the lights came on stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen. let's give a warm welcome to ......." Was all the announcer got to say before the band walked out on stage.

"They know who we are mate. Get off the stage so we can play." Spike said as he came to the mike and the rest of the band picked up their instruments. "Isn't that right?" Spike said smiling out into the crowd.

The crowd hollered and laughed at Spike as he strapped on his guitar.

"You came here to hear some music. Lucky for you we came by then." Spike said. "Let's do it." He added as he looked at his band mates.

Buffy and Faith watched as they captivated their audience. In between songs talking to them, even letting some of the fans request a song or two.

Faith filmed the entire show, including the two encores they came back out to perform.

Buffy and Faith made their way back stage and back into the room where the band had convened.

"You guys were great. Got the whole damn thing." Faith said as she filmed a bit of the goings on in the dressing room.

"What'd you think luv?" Spike asked as he came over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Faith took the opportunity of being unnoticed by the pair and turned the camera on them.

"I thought you were amazing." Buffy said quietly. "You were born for this."

Spike smiled as he dipped his head and moved in and captured her lips in a soft and gentle kiss.

He rested his forehead on hers and they both closed their eyes and stayed like that for awhile, enjoying the sensation of each others touch.

Faith smiled as she turned off the camera.

They packed up the equipment and loaded the van, then they all climbed into the respective vehicles and made the journey back to Sunnydale.

Buffy and Spike came in quietly and went upstairs and changed getting ready for bed.

Spike came out of the bathroom and started to go into Angels bedroom which he had practically taken over since Angel was usually at Faiths apartment.

"Spike." Buffy said quietly.

Spike stopped and turned around.

"Sleep in here tonight." Buffy said holding her door open.

"But your mum." Spike said looking down the hallway.

"We'll leave the door open. She won't say anything." Buffy replied.

Spike nodded and walked into Buffy's room and climbed on the bed laying down beside. They pulled the blanket up and Spike curled into Buffy's back, one hand going possessively around her waist holding her to him.

"Are you sure this is alright?" Spike asked quietly.

"Yeah." Buffy whispered as they closed their eyes and quickly fell into an exhausted sleep.

Joyce stood in the doorway watching the sleeping couple as she smiled.

Buffy was sleeping with her head on Spike's chest and both of his arms were wrapped around her. The blanket had been kicked off sometime during the night and sat around the ankles. Spike was bare chested but had flannel bottoms on and Buffy was wearing bottoms and a top, much to the delight of Joyce.

Joyce reached in and grabbed the door handle and closed the door as she wandered down the stairs to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

She sat at the counter when the phone rang.

"Hello." Joyce said as she moved over and picked up the phone.

"Hey Mrs. Summers." Willow said.

"Willow, it's good to hear your voice." Joyce replied smiling.

"Yours too. How's everything going?" Willow asked.

"It's going good. Are you coming back early?" Joyce asked.

"Uh.........actually I'm staying a little longer. I won't be back for another couple of weeks." Willow replied quietly.

"Having that much fun are you." Joyce said smiling.

"Yeah, I am." Willow replied. "Is Buffy around?" Willow asked.

"Yes, but she and William are sleeping. They had a last minute gig in L.A. and got in late." Joyce said.

"Oh right. I should have thought about that. Can you tell Buffy to call me?" Willow asked.

"Sure, I'll let her know when she wakes up." Joyce replied.

"Okay, Thanks." Willow said.

"Your welcome Willow. Bye." Joyce said as she hung up the phone.

Willow hung up the phone and walked into the living room and sat beside Giles.

"Did you tell them you'd be staying longer?" Giles asked as Willow leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around her as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. Buffy was sleeping, she'll call me later." Willow said quietly.

"I'm sure everything will work out for the best." Giles said as he placed a kiss to the top of her head.

Willow just nodded but didn't reply, she just closed her eyes as Giles hand caressed her arm soothingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy walked into the house behind Spike who was quiet and scowling.

Buffy kept quiet all the way home from the meeting, knowing he didn't want to talk.

Sometimes when he came out of one of the sessions he was so angry he would be vibrating. Buffy usually kept her distance so he could work it out for himself.

It seemed to happen more frequently now. In the past couple of weeks he was always angry when he left the meetings. All Buffy could do was to be there if and when he was ready to talk about it. Which he never was.

"Spike." Buffy said coming up to stand behind him.

He turned to face her trying to cover his anger. "Yeah luv." He replied curtly.

"Come with me." Buffy said as she grabbed his hand.

Spike's hand stilled at her touch before tightening his hold on her.

He followed her down to the basement and looked around.

"What's this?" Spike asked.

"Just something I put together.......for you to use." Buffy said as she looked at Spike.

Spike looked at the punching bag that hung from the rafters.

Spike stared at it for a minute before slowly walking over to it and resting his hands on it.

Buffy moved silently to the stairs. "I'll be upstairs if you need me." Buffy said quietly as she shut the door behind her.

Buffy wasn't sure she was doing the right thing with the punching bag, but he was so angry and he needed to get it out somehow.

Buffy stood by the door for a moment. When she heard a small scream and punches landing on their mark she walked away from the door, giving him the privacy he needed.

After a half hour Buffy went back to the door, when she heard nothing she opened it and went down the stairs.

She saw Spike sitting on the floor with his knees brought up to his chest, spread apart, elbow resting on his knees and his finger in his hair, his shoulder were shaking from the silent crying.

Buffy went over to him as he lifted his head.

When she reached him he lowered his legs and pulled her down until she straddled his lap and buried his face in her chest.

"She can't hurt you anymore." Buffy said whispering. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again." Buffy said placing a kiss to the top of his head.

His sobs continued as she rocked him back and forth soothingly.

Spike lifted his head as his tears subsided and looked into Buffy's eyes.

Buffy lowered he head slowly as their lips met in a slow languid kiss.

The kiss seemed to go on forever before they broke apart breathing heavily.

Buffy moved her hands sown his chest until it reached the hem of his t-shirt. She slowly pulled the shirt up his body, Spike raised his arms as she pulled it over his head dropping the garment to the floor beside them.

They never broke eye contact while Spike unbuttoned her blouse and slowly slid it off her shoulder.

They leaned in and kissed, slowly and passionately, taking their time.

Spike removed her bra as he trailed kisses down her collarbone.

His hands came up and began massaging her breasts as he captured her mouth again.

Buffy began grinding herself against him slowly, causing him to moan into her mouth.

Their kiss became more heated as Spike lowered himself back to the floor, bringing Buffy with him, then rolling and pinning her beneath him.

Spikes hand grabbed her ass, massaging it as Buffy's hands snaked around his neck, her finger gripping his hair, bringing him even closer, deepening the kiss.

Spike's hand unbuttoned her pants and tugged on them.

Buffy lifted her ass slightly, never breaking the kiss, as Spike tugged the pants down and Buffy kicked her legs carefully until the pants fell off her feet.

She pulled at the button on his jeans and lowered the zipper. Spike sat up and removed th quickly before capturing her mouth again.

Spike hooked his finger on the elastic waistband of her panties, trailing kisses down her neck, chest and abdomen as he removed the panties, dropping them to the floor with the other clothes.

Spike moved back over her and positioned himself between her legs, resting at her entrance.

He lowered himself until he was looking down into her eyes, inches from her. Waiting for a sign from her to stop.

Buffy reached up and pulled his head down stealing a kiss as she raised her legs up wrapping them around him.

Spike slowly pushed into her, he broke the kiss as he gasped when he felt the tight walls surrounding him as he delved deeper.

He felt Buffy stiffen under him as he slowed his pace even more.

When he reached the barrier, he stopped.

Their eyes met again as he pulled back slightly before pushing himself in quickly, breaking the barrier.

Spike captured her lips quickly as he pushed in a few more times quickly, before slowing his pace when he felt Buffy relax.

"You okay luv?" Spike asked quietly as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Buffy just responded by pulling him into another kiss as they began to rock steadily.

Buffy met Spike thrust for thrust, moving together perfectly in sync.

Spike has his release as he felt Buffy's wall contracting when she hit hers.

Spike slumped on top of her catching his breath, hugging each other tightly.

"I love you." Spike whispered haggardly.

"I love you too." Buffy whispered back.

"I'm sorry." Spike said.

"I'm not." Buffy replied.

"You weren't ready, I took advantage................

Spike was stopped when Buffy stole his lips kissing him demandingly.

By the time they broke apart they were both breathing heavily.

"No, you didn't. I wanted to. I wanted you." Buffy whispered. "Always want you."

Spike cradled her in his arms before reaching over and grabbing their clothes.

They finished getting dressed then went upstairs to their room and laid down, contentedly, falling asleep in each others arms.

Buffy watched as Willow walked through the gates to the airport.

Buffy went up to her and drew her into a tight embrace.

"Will. I'm so glad you're here."Buffy said smiling.

"Missed you too Buffy." Willow said as she drew back from her with a big smile.

"I was suprised you didn't want Oz to pick you up." Buffy said as they start to walk over to get Willow baggage.

"Oh, I only brought a carry on." Willow said guiding Buffy back towards the parking lot of the airport.

"Spike's waiting out front for us." Buffy said as Buffy linked her arm with Willows.

"Spike." Willow said smiling. "I take it everythings good."

"He's amazing Will." Buffy said quietly as she smiled.

Willow smiled as she saw pure happiness etched on Buffy's face.

"Which brings me back to why didn't you want Oz to pick you up? I thought you guys were back together?"Buffy asked looking at Willow with concern.

Willow frowned as she looked down.

"Is this a girls night?" Buffy asked quietly.

Willow just nodded.

"Okay. Ice cream and chocolate beware tonight." Buffy said rubbing Willows arm as they made it outside and over to Spike's car.

"Nice to see you Red." Spike said smiling as he pushed himself off the car.

"Good to see you too Spike. Been hearing some stuff from Buffy." Willow said looking at Buffy.

"Oh really." Spike said smirking. "It's all true." Spike said as he winked at Willow.

Buffy's jaw dropped slightly as her face reddened.

Buffy and Willow climbed into the car after Spike held the door open, then closed it.

Spike climbed in and started the car and started driving.

"Spike we're going home first. I'm grabbing an overnight bag, then spending the night at Willow's. Could you drive us over?" Buffy asked.

"Actually, could you drop me off first. I'd like to shower and sleep for a couple hour first. Could you come over around eight Buffy?" Willow said.

"Okay. I should have thought about the jet lag. Sorry Will." Buffy said.

"Want me to drive you over tonight then?" Spike asked.

"If you wouldn't mind." Buffy replied.

"No problem luv." Spike replied giving Buffy's hand a squeeze.

Buffy and Spike dropped Willow off and continued on home from there.

When they got in the house they saw Faith and Angel sitting on the couch playing video games.

"Hey blondie." Faith said as she concentrated on the video game.

"Bitch." Spike replied. "I'll be very disappointed if you tell me he's winning."

"No. Eight to one." Faith said smiling.

"Angel won one. Hey good on you mate." Spike said smirking.

"Shut up Spike." Angel said.

Spike just walked through to the kitchen chuckling to himself.

"Do you guys ever get along?" Buffy asked shaking her head as she followed him to the kitchen.

"This is us getting along." Spike said as he grabbed a couple sodas from the fridge.

"This is you getting along?" Buffy asked.

"We have a deep seething hatred for one another. Which we're okay with. We stand by each other when it counts." Spike said taking a drink.

"Have you always been like this?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Yeah, always." Spike replied.

"You really should work out your issues." Buffy said as she sipped her soda.

"Why would we want to do that luv?" Spike asked confusedly.

"What do you mean why? You're really okay with hating each other?" Buffy asked.

"Sure." Spike said with the look of 'duh' on his face.

Buffy finally shook her head. "Nevermind." Buffy said breathlessly.

"So you're really going to be gone...........all night?" Spike aske as he put his hands around his waist pulling her into him.

"Mm hmm. All night." Buffy said quietly.

Spike dipped his head and his tongue darted out and lightly touched her neck.

"An entire night of not being able to touch you or see you." Spike whispered in her ear as he trailed kisses down her neck and his hands roamed up her top, cupping and massaging her breast.

Spike backed Buffy up into the wall as he pressed against her.

Grinding his hardness into her.

Buffy breathing became rapid as she reached up and turned his lips to hers and kissed him hungrily.

Her finger knotted in his hair pulling him in tighter, deepening the kiss.

Buffy legs came up and wrapped around his waist.

His hand came down and grabbed her ass, pulling her roughly against him.

"Get a room." Faith said as she came into the kitchen.

Buffy tried to move but Spike held her there as they both breathed heavily.

"Lucky I wasn't Joyce. She'll be home any minute now." Faith said as she grabbed a drink from the fridge and walked out of the kitchen.

Spike let go of Buffy legs, setting her back n the floor.

He rested his forehead against hers as his breathing started to slow.

"I'm going to miss you." Spike whispered.

"I'll miss you too. It's only one night Spike. I'll be back tomorrow." Buffy replied placing a kiss on his cheek, then esting her head on his chest.

Spike nodded as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Come with me." Spike said as he grabbed her hand.

Buffy followed him out to his car and got in.

Spike drove until they reached a very secluded area of the beach.

He helped her out of the car and led her to an abandoned cottage.

He opened the door and pulled Buffy inside.

"What do you think?" Spike said as Buffy looked around.

"Well it's definately been closed up a long time." Buffy said as she looked at all the dust.

"Yeah. Found this place my first week here. Come up here once in awhile when I need to think." Spike replied.

"You come here alot?" Buffy asked.

"Not since you came but before, yeah." Spike replied. "Nobody knows about it. Except you."

"The money my dads been sending me every month, I've hardly spent any, 'cept what I spent on the car. Which wasn't much. Though I'd hit him up, add to what I have and buy this place." Spike said shrugging.

"It's not big. It has a bedroom, bath, kitchen and living area. Nothing fancy, but.........I don't know, I like it here." Spike said as he looked around the room.

"Then you should by it." Buffy said as she wrapped her arm around his waist. "It's..........comfy. Definately has potential."

"You think so?" Spike asked smiling.

"Yeah. I do." Buffy said.

Spike led her through the cottage and showed her around.

"And this." Spike said opening the last door. "Is the bedroom."

Buffy looked around the room. It was much larger inside then it looked from the outside.

"It's going to need some tlc to get her all fixed up. But I think it'll be worth it." Spike said.

"It'll be perfect." Buffy said smiling as she looked around.

"So.............you would agree to live here.......someday?" Spike asked quietly as he looked at her.

"That's not even in question Spike. I'd live with you in a cardboard box if we had too." Buffy replied.

Spike smiled as he dipped his head to kiss her.

When they pulled apart, Spike looked around again. "If this record deal goes through, may not have to go to the old man. Could do it myself."

"That's true." Buffy replied.

Spike grabbed Buffys hand and led her back to the living room and sat on the sheet covered sofa.

They sat down and cuddled in to each other, closing their eyes.

"We have to get back soon." Buffy said begrudgingly.

"I know." Spike replied as he sat up and pushed himself off the couch.

Buffy took his extended hand and stood up.

"The sooner I drop you off, the sooner you'll be back." Spike said as they slowly walked to he door.

Buffy sat on Willows couch each of them holding a spoon and sharing a carton of rocky road.

"I've been here over an hour now Will and you still haven't told me what's going on." Buffy said digging into the ice cream.

Willow lowered her gaze as she took a bit.

"I'm breaking up with Oz." Willow said quietly.

"What happened?" Buffy asked softly.

"Nothing really. I thought when we got back together that that was what I wanted." Willow said as she grabbed another bite.

"I'm guessing not huh." Buffy replied.

"No. Everytime we hung up I always thought he'd be with her......or someone else. I don't trust him. You can't have a relationship if you don't trust the other person." Willow said quietly.

"No. You really can't." Buffy agreed.

"That and...............I met someone." Willow said as she looked up at Buffy.

"So soon. Are you sure you're ready? You haven't even broke up with Oz yet." Buffy replied her brows crinkled with concern.

"We haven't done anything. I didn't even realize how I felt until a few weeks ago." Willow said.

"He's in London. That's why you stayed longer." Buffy replied.

Willow nodded.

"We've only ever talked. I thought we were just freinds, but when he told me how he felt about me, I couldn't deny I felt the same way. I had been so busy with everything else happening around me, I hadn't seen it happening." Willow said.

"When are you going to talk to Oz?" Buffy asked.

"First thing tomorrow. The soon the better. If I wait to long, it'll just be harder." Willow said.

"Are you staying here the rest of the summer or are you going back to London?" Buffy asked.

"I'll be staying here. I'll head back a week early though." Willow replied.

"So....are you going to tell me who it is or am I going to have to guess?" Buffy asked smiling.

Willow smiled as she dipped her head.

Willow and Buffy were engrossed in watching Pretty Woman when they heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Buffy said as she got up off the couch and walked over to the door.

Buffy smiled widely when she she opened the door to see Spike standing there holding a pizza.

"Thought you girls could use a bite."Spike said with a smile.

Knowing he was only doing this too see her Buffy chuckled to herself.

"Pizza always hits the spot." Buffy replied pulling him through the door.

"Spike." Willow said smiling as Buffy ushered him into the living room.

"Hey Red. Thought you might be a bit peckish." Spike said as he set the pizza on the coffe table.

Willow smiled knowingly at Buffy.

"Sounds good. Sit and have some with us." Willow said as she opened the box.

Buffy and Spike sat down and they all grabbed a slice.

"So, what are you birds up to?" Spike asked as he took a bite.

"Just watching a "chick flic"." Buffy said quoting with her fingers.

"Oh. Which one?" Spike asked.

"Pretty Woman." Willow answered.

Spike practically sneered when he heard the name of the movie.

"What?" Buffy asked smiling.

"Nothin, just thought you'd have better taste is all." Spike replied shrugging his shoulders.

"All right. Which one would you suggest?" Buffy asked smirking.

"Well." Spike said as he looked around the room. "You've got ice cream containers.......empty. Bet you inhaled them. A cookie bag, also empty. Probably ate in the same fashion as the ice cream. Plus a candy wrapper. Several actually." Spike said as his brows furrowed. "I'll never figure out how you eat so much and stay so thin." Spike said more to himself but was heard by all. "My movie of choice for you would be Say Anything. Can never go wrong with John Cusack." Spike said as he took a bite of his pizza then looked at Buffy and Willow.

"What?" Spike asked confused.

"We stay thin because this is the only time we eat like this." Willow said laughing. "And I totally love John Cusack."

"So do I. I should have thought about that one." Buffy said getting up and taking the movie out of the DVD player and putting it away, pulling Say Anything off the shelf and putting it in.

Spike chuckled as he started to get up.

"You gonna watch with us?" Willow asked.

"No I think I better go. Be around a more manly crowd." Spike replied.

"Don't ever tell anyone about me knowing a chic flic." Spike said. "Have a rep to protect."

"Your secret is safe Spike." Willow said laughing.

Spike grabbed another peice as he headed to the door with Buffy following behind him.

"Going home to bed." Buffy sad softly with a smile.

"Yeah. Don't say anything, just wanted to see you before I turned in." Spike replied.

"I won't ......... Say Anything." Buffy replied chuckling.

"Night baby." Spike said giving her a kiss.

"Night Spike. See you tomorrow. Pick me up around noon okay." Buffy said.

"See ya then." Spike said as he turned and walked to his car.

Buffy closed the door and came back in to the living room and sat down beside Willow.

"So you and Spike are." Willow said trailing off.

"Willow." Buffy said as her face reddened.

"Just a guess. But I think I'm right." Willow said.

"Just the one time." Buffy replied.

"Really?" Willow said smiling.

"Yeah. We haven't since then. He doesn't want too." Buffy replied.

"Why?" Willow asked confused.

"He thought he took advantage because of when it happened. I tried to tell him it was fine, that I wanted too. But he hasn't since." Buffy said.

"Are you okay with that?" Willow asked.

"I know he wants too. But something stops him. I'm not going to push him. When he thinks it's time it'll happen. I've got my whole life to wait for him." Buffy said.

"I like him Buffy. You two look so good together." Willow said.

"Thanks. I think so too." Buffy said.

"Now. Time for John." Willow said as she started the movie.

They both sat back and watched at the movie started, grabbing another slice of pizza.

Spike woke up with a start. His breathing was laboured and he was bathed in seat.

He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his breathing down.

He immediatly opened his eyes. When he closed them all he could see was her.

He ripped the blankets off of him and swung his legs off the bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his body shaking as images kept flashing in his mind.

He stood up shakily and reached for his pants.

He put them on and went over to his window, opening it as he grabbed his smokes from the ledge. He lit his cigarette and took a long hall as he looked out the window.

He closed his eyes tight and gasped as another image flashed before him.

Tears started to flow down his cheeks as emotions like shame, betrayal washed over him then replaced by hate and anger.

Spike threw his cigarette out the window and stood up. He began pacing the room, his muscles tensed as he continued seeing flashes.

Buffy hung up the phone and looked at her watch.

"He's not there?" Willow asked.

"Nobody's picking up." Buffy said as her brows furrowed.

"Maybe he forgot." Willow said.

"Yeah, maybe." Buffy replied as she grabbed her bag. "I'm gonna head out Will. If you need to call me Later." Buffy said as she walkedto the front door.

"Okay, see ya Buff." Willow said as Buffy closed the door behind her.

Buffy headed down the street at a fast pace as she walked home.

When she got to the house she saw Spike's car in the driveway and Joyce's SUV gone.

Buffy opened the door and dropped her bad on the sofa as she slowly walked through the house.

"Spike." Buffy called quietly.

She stopped when she saw the door to the basement opened.

She went over and went downstairs. She looked around when she saw Spike's t-shirt lying on the floor by the punching bag.

She went over and picked it up then looked at the bag. Her eyes widened when she saw blood all over it.

She turned and started upstairs noticing blood on the railing and door.

She saw blood on the railing heading up to the second floor. Buffy took the stairs two at a time as she ran up looking for Spike.

Buffy stopped when she saw him sitting on the window seat in their room.

Buffy entered quietly coming to stand beside him.

Buffy placed her hand gently on his shoulder as she sat beside him.

"I'm sorry." Spike whispered.

"For what baby?" Buffy aske softly.

"Supposed to pick up." Spike replied as he turned to face her.

"Ssh. It's okay." Buffy said wiping his tears away.

Buffy looked down at his hands. The knuckled were cut open and his hands were covered in blood.

"Let's get you cleaned up okay." Buffy said as she helped him up and led him to the bathroom.

She ran the water and rinsed his hands.

Spike never flinched when the water hit them or when she applied the cream to it. She wrapped his hands and then led him back to the bedroom.

"You look so tired." Buffy said as she laid him on the bed. "Get some rest. I'll stay with you." Buffy said as she climbed onto the bed and laid his head on her chest.

Spike's hand went around he waist as he closed his eyes.

Buffy laid there, her heart breaking at what was happening to him.

When ever Spike would start to stir she would run her finger through his hair and whisper in his ear and he always settled back down.

Buffy closed her eyes and laid there, holding him and keeping him safe.

tbc

Buffy and Spike sat at the Espresso Pump a few days later talking and sipping on coffee.

"Hey guys." Willow said coming over with her coffee and joining.

"Willow." Buffy said smiling.

"Hi Red." Spike said shifting over so she could slide into their booth.

"I hadn't heard from you so I'm kinda wondering how things went with Oz." Buffy said quietly.

"Actually it went okay. He says he still wants to be friends, which is nice." Willow said.

"That's great Will. So what about the guy back in London. Have you talked to him since you got back?" Buffy asked.

"What guy in London?" Spike asked curiously.

"Some one who's quite smitten with our Will." Buffy said smiling.

"Who is he? Maybe I should go check him out. Rough him up if need be." Spike said casually.

Willow laughed as Buffy rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"You already know him Spike." Willow replied.

"Who is he then?" Spike asked.

"It happens to be." Was all Willow got out when her phone rang.

"Just a sec." Willow said as she pulled out her phone.

"Hello." Willow said as she took a sip of her latte.

"Giles, hi." Willow said as a big smile came to her face.

"Yeah I told Oz the other day.....No, he took it well." Willow said into the phone.

Buffy and Spike sat across the table watching the conversation, only hearing one side.

"Yeah.......really. That's geat." Willow said happily. "No, that's okay. I'll come home in a couple of weeks then...........Oh, I miss you too. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye." Willow said as she closed the phone.

"I got the job at the museum. I start in three weeks. Isn't that great." Willow said bouncing in her seat excitedly.

"That's great Willow. So you're going back early then." Buffy said.

"Yeah. I don't mind." Willow said as she sipped her latte.

"Oh, I forgot. I'm supposed to meet Xander for lunch. Sorry guys, I'll see you later okay." Willow said quickly then breezed out of the shop.

"Okay did that phone conversation sound wrong on many different levels." Buffy said.

Spike just nodded. "I thought you two talked. I mean you knew about the other guy. She never told you his name?" Spike asked.

Buffy just shook her head and then physically shook at the thoughts that were going through her mind.

"You don't think that............I mean it couldn't be.........right?" Buffy asked.

Spike just shrugged and took a sip of his coffee frowning.

"I thought I saw something happening between your mum and my dad. Maybe I was wrong." Spike said.

"I thought that too." Buffy replied.

"We've got to find something else to think about." Buffy said scrunching her brows.

"You're not wrong." Spike said grabbing her hand and walking out of the shop.

"It's time." Buffy said as she glanced at her watch when they got outside.

Spike let out a deep breath and nodded as they turned and walked down the street.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The session was set to start for a few minutes but Buffy went in early.

"John can I talk to you for a minute?" Buffy asked as she entered the room.

"Hey Buffy. Sure grab a seat." John said as he sat down.

Buffy sat down across from him and folded her hands in her lap.

"I have some questions I thought maybe you could answer." Buffy said quietly.

"I'll try my best." John said seriously as he saw her worried expression.

"Spike's more...........anxious. Angry more and more. He wasn't like this before. It seems to get worse every week." Buffy said looking at John.

"This has probably happened before. This is his way of fighting back against something he..........can't see. For a long time he closed up, ignored it. It made life hard, but it's harder now that he talking about it. Discussing it in vivid detail with councilors as well as the group. Parts of it he buried is now coming to the forefront. It's going to get even worse before it starts to get better. Is that something you can deal with Buffy?" John asked.

"But I never seen him angry like he's been." Buffy said.

"He'll get even angrier. Let me ask you something. Is what's happening to him now affecting things you two do together?" John asked.

"Yeah, sometimes." Buffy answered honestly.

"That also adds to his anger. Because he feels like it's all his fault. Guilt and anger go hand in hand. He's mad he can't feel he can do things with you and guilt about it too, because he wants to. Are you sure you're up to this?" John asked again.

"I'll do anything I have too. I'm just so scared for him when I see him go through things and I can't do anything other than hold him." Buffy said quietly.

"Sometimes that all that can be done. And sometimes that needs to be done." John said reaching over and sqeezing her hand. "Come on, everyone starting to come in. Don't hesitate to come to me again with anything you want to know. Okay." John said.

Buffy nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

An hour later Spike and Buffy walked out of the building and walked home in silence.

Spike walked into the house behind Buffy and grabbed his keys off the counter.

"Where are you going." Buffy asked as her brows furrowed.

"Out." Spike said curtly.

"Spike I.......

"I need to.....I have to go." Spike said as he walked back out the door.

Buffy sood there until she heard the sound of his car disappear.

Buffy tossed and turned constantly watching the clock. When she saw it become three oclock she dot up and grabbed her clothes and got dressed.

She quietly went downstairs and stood out on the front porch and waited for him. But he never came.

When it was four thirty Buffy went back into the house and grabbed her mom keys and left a small note for her and then went back out to the car and drove off. Knowing exactly where he'd be.

Buffy pulled up to the beach and made her way to the cottage Spike had taken her too a few days before.

When she opened the door she saw Spike sanding the wood to one of the door frames.

"Spike." Buffy said quietly as she closed the door behind her.

Spike turned around quickly to see her coming towards him slowly.

"What are you doing here Buffy?" Spike asked a little more harshly than he meant to.

"It's pretty late......well or early how ever you want to look at it. I was worried." Buffy replied.

"I'm fine." Spike said dropping the sand paper on the table and walking away to the other side of the room.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked stepping closer.

"I said I'm fine. Why don't you go home luv. I'll see you later." Spike said as he began pacing.

"No. You're not alright. I'm not leaving you." Buffy said as she stood there watching him.

"I really would rather be alone." Spike said his jaw tensing.

"Why won't you talk to me? Let me be there for you." Buffy said softly.

"Fine you want hear it. Then I'll tell you." Spike said angrily. "Everynight when I close my eyes, I see her face. I see her doing things to me. When I open my eyes the images are still there. They don't leave Buffy. I'll see her walking towards me and when I blink it becomes you. I can't get her out of my head and it's tearing me apart. It's going to tear us apart." Spike said.

"No, I won't let it." Buffy replied.

"You don't get it Buffy." Spike said laughing. "It's already happening. Sometimes when you touch me.........it makes my skin crawl. It has nothing to do with you luv, it's me.How can you want to be with someone who can't stand to have you touch him? Maybe we should call it off." Spike said quietly.

"You don't want to be with me." Buffy said as tears spilled down her face.

"Not don't ........ can't. Dammit, I don't know Buffy. I want to be with you more than anything. I love you so bloody much it hurts. I don't want to hurt you Buffy. But you don't desrve to go through this." Spike said quietly.

" Neither do you. I'm not leaving you Spike. I'll wait. For as long as it takes, I'll wait for you. Forever if I have to." Buffy said as she looked into his eyes.

"I'll still be there. And when you're ready, come and find me." Buffy said as she turned and walked away, her heart breaking more with each step.

Spike fell to his knees as he watched her walk out the door and into the sun the was just begining to rise.

Spike walked into the house and went upstairs.

Buffys door was closed but he could hear her crying.

Spike reached out and place his hands on her door and leaned his forehead against the cold wood.

"It'll be okay Buffy. He loves you, there's no question in that. And it's obvious you love him. Give it time." Willow said.

Spike went to Angels room, leaning against the wall he slid down to the floor, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

How long he'd been sitting there he wasn't sure.

"Spike." Willow said softly as she crouched down in front of him.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

Willow winced when she saw the pain, confusion, the complete anguish he was feeling in his eyes.

"I don't know what's happening. But I know she's hurting. So are you." Willow said softly. "Make sure this is what you want okay." Willow said giving his arm squeeze. "I know how you feel about her, it's not hard to see. But whatever is stopping you, if you really want to be with her, you better fight it." Willow said.

"I know." Spike said sadly.

"Don't fight it for her Spike. It has to be about you. You have to fight whatever it is for you and no one else."

Spike just nodded his head and laid his back as Willow got up and left the room.

Spike stayed there a little longer before he got up and went out to the hall.

He stood in front of her door looking at the handle.

His hand moved up and gripped the door knob breifly before letting go.

He brought his had up a little further and tapped lightly on the door.

"Come in." Buffy said in a muffled voice.

Spike slowly opened the door and stood in the doorway.

"Buffy." Spike said quietly.

Buffy turned her head to see him standing there. She moved until she was sitting o the edge of the bed.

Spike walked over and knelt in front of her, bringing his arms up around her thighs and laying his head in her lap.

"I'm sorry." Spike said as his breath hitched.

"Don't be." Buffy whispered as she smoothed his hair with the tips of her fingers.

"I don't want to lose you." Spike replied choppily.

"I'm still here." Buffy replied.

"I don't want to call it off." Spike said as he started shaking slightly.

"Neither do I." Buffy replied.

Spike's arms tightened around her as his tears fell on her lap.

"I love you." Spike said softly.

"I love you too. Always." Buffy replied.

"You're exhausted. You should get some rest." Buffy said quietly.

Spike nodded but didn't move.

"Do you want to lay down here or in your room?" Buffy asked.

"Could I lay down with you?" Spike asked.

"Come on." Buffy whispered as she helped him to his feet and onto the bed.

Buffy laid on her side and Spike laid behind her his arm wrapped around her waist. His face was buried in the nape of her neck when he fell asleep.

Buffy laid there listening to him breath, not touching him, but letting him touch her.

She listened as his breathing evened out when he fell asleep. Feeling his breath on her neck comforted her as she closed her eyes.

Spike woke up slowly to feel her in his arms. It felt so right to have her there. It's where he belonged. He could feel it in every fibre of his being, that this was where he was meant to be.

She was his salvation, his light, his love. She would be with him from one life to the next without hesitation.

Spike shifted as he raised his head up to watch her sleep.

She started to open her eyes when he moved.

"Go back to sleep." Spike whispered.

"Not tired." Buffy said back quietly.

Spike brought his hand up and trace the out line of her face.

Buffy closed her eyes revelling in the sensations his fingers were giving her.

"I want to stay together. Don't want to be without you." Spike said quietly.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, I am." Spike replied.

"Okay. We could go slower." Buffy said.

"Slower is good." Spike said with a shy smile.

Buffy smiled back.

"You sure you can put up with the likes of me?" Spike asked smiling, be being serious.

"I think I can handle it." Buffy replied.

Spike dipped his head and captured her lips in a slow deep kiss.

Buffy let him lead, never moving her hands to his body, but keeping them resting on his forearm.

"Spike?" Buffy said as they broke apart.

"Yeah luv." Spike replied.

"I already had made plans for tonight. It's nothing big, just Bronzing. Would you like to come?" Buffy asked quietly.

"You want me too?" Spike asked back.

"I want to dance with you." Buffy said.

"Okay luv. I'd love to dance with you. Who's all going?" Spike asked.

"Cordy, Faith and Willow, but I'm sure they're bringing thier guys.......well except Willow." Buffy replied.

Spike chuckled. "Speaking of Willow, did you ever find out? Who he is?"

"No." Buffy pouted slightly. "Whenever she's about to tell, we get interrupted and she leaves."

"You know that's going to be our mission tonight. Make her finally give it up." Spike said.

Buffy chuckled. "Deep undercover. Got it. Are you meeting us, or are you coming with?" Buffy asked.

"I'll go with you." Spike said stealing another kiss.

"I should go and have a shower." Spike said as he got up off the bed and walked to the door.

"Buffy, what I said before. How I feel when you touch me, I didn't mean it. I was panicking and I wanted to run. I'm sorry." Spike whispered with his back to her.

"Yes you did. You said how you felt. I know what you meant by it Spike. Don't ever apologize to me. You don't have to." Buffy said quietly.

Spike just nodded and walked out to the hall and to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

"You're going to want to run alot Spike. Are you strong enough to fight it or are you going to let it win?" Buffy said to herself as she leaned against her headboard.

"He doesn't want to break up, but we're going to slow things down, alot." Buffy said.

"What happened?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked over to Spike who was at the bar getting them drinks then back to Willow.

"He just got a little ..... scared. He's got some things to deal with, pretty hard things. He just freaked." Buffy said keeping Spike's reasons to herself.

"Well I'm glad you worked things out." Willow said as she looked out to the dance floor and smiled when she saw Xander almost having an epileptic seizure.

Buffy looked over and laughed when she saw Cordelia slap his arm and pull him in to slow dance to a fast song.

"Will he ever learn to dance?" Buffy said chuckling.

"Did you see that? I thought the whelp was having a heart attack or something." Spike said as he set the drinks on the table and sat beside Buffy.

"We were just talking about that." Willow laughed.

"So....Red. Give it up. Who's the Mystery man?" Spike said smiling.

"It's ................Hey Oz. You made it." Willow said quickly.

Buffy amd Spike groaned in frustration.

"Hey Will. Buffy, Spike." Oz nodded in their direction.

"Hey Oz." Buffy said with a smile.

Spike gave a small nod.

" I talked to Jerry today. He listened to the rest of our stuff. He wants us in next friday to start recording. Is that cool with you?" Oz said as he looked at Spike.

"It's fine." Spike said with a wide smile.

"So, I'm officailly a groupie now." Buffy said smiling.

"You were already a groupie luv." Spike said smirking and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I think it's time for a dance." Spike added when the tempo slowed down.

Buffy allowed Spike to lead her onto the dance floor. She put her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her against him. Buffy rested her head on his shoulder and buried his face in her hair, as they moved slowly to the music.

"Spike seems to have an admirer." Oz pointed out a woman sitting at one of the tables by the restroom entrance.

Willow watched as the woman stared at him overtly.

Spike who was only paying attention to Buffy didn't notice.

Faith and Angel came over to the table and sat down taking a drink to cool off.

"Great tunes tonight." Faith said drinking half her glass.

"Yeah." Willow said absently as she looked back at the woman.

"What?" Faith said following Willow's gaze.

"I don't know. She gives me the creeps." Willow said staring at her.

Faith saw where the other woman was looking, leering was a more acurate word.

"Let's take a break." Buffy said as she led Spike off the floor.

"Okay luv. Meet you back at the table. I have to go to the loo." Spike said as he placed a kiss to her temple.

"Okay." Buffy replied as she walked over to sit by Willow and Faith.

Xander came over a second later.

"Where's Cordy?" Buffy asked.

"In the john?" Xander replied as he sat down.

Willow elbowed Faith when she saw the woman watch every step Spike took as he headed past her to the bathroom.

Faith stood up and started walking toward the bathrooms.

Willow watched the woman get up and follow Spike into the hall that led to the washroom, quickly followed by Faith as she picked up her pace.

"Damn. I was hoping to catch him before he went in." Faith said eyeing the woman as Faith went over and leaned against the wall by the mens room. " I was heading to the bar and forgot what he wanted."

The woman just looked around for a minute before walking back out of the hall and into the bar.

"Keep walking bitch." Faith muttered.

Faith went into the ladies room and held the door open slightly and waited until she seen Spike leave, then opened it and walked out.

"Hey blondie." Faith said as he came to his side.

"Hey Faith." Spike replied as they left the hallway and went back to the table.

"I saw her come out." Willow said quietly.

"Yeah." Faith said as her eyes narrowed when she saw the woman sitting at the same table.

"Something was going to happen wasn't it." Willow sated.

"Maybe, maybe not." Faith said quietly.

They dropped the conversation, but for the remainder of the night, whenever Spike went to the washroom, Willow or Faith tagged along behind him.

"It was a great night." Buffy said as they came into the house.

"Yeah, I had a great time." Spike replied.

"Well, I have to admit, I'm tired." Buffy said as she started climbing the stairs.

"Yeah, bit knackered myself." Spike replied as he followed her up.

Spike stopped Buffy outside her room and kissed her gently.

"Night." He said quietly.

"Night Spike." Buffy said with a smile then turned and went into her room.

Spike went into his room but left the door open as he stripped down and climbed into bed.

"Spike." Buffy said quietly as she came into his room and crouched down beside him.

"Yeah luv." Spike said.

"I forgot to tell you something. Thank you for the dance." Buffy said as she placed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Night." Buffy said as she stood up and walked back to her room.

Spike smiled as he watched her leave before turning over and closing his eyes.