Title: Just love me… (Prologue)

Author: Valeria (valepuiguy@yahoo.com <mailto:valepuiguy@yahoo.com>)

Raiting: This chapter, PG-13. Next chapters, R and NC-17.

Disclaimer: All characters of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them.

Romance/Drama/Some Fluff. (This chapter, romance and just a bit of drama).

Time: Middle of season 6.

Pairing: B/S (spuffy, of course)

Feedback: Yes, please! It's my first fanfic, so try not to be so cruel :P

Buffy stood on the porch, going over in her mind the mounting bills, and all the problems she had come back to. When her mom was here, everything was different; she was different. Especially now: again, in this hell of a world, fighting through the torture of living in a reality where she would never fit.

She hid her face between her hands; she didn't realize that someone was watching her: he was hidden behind the bushes while he observed her.

She sat on the short steps, and she started crying. It was the only thing she could do: crying for the absence of her mother, crying for herself, for the problems, for her life. She missed it. She missed when she was in heaven. She could still remember. Her mom was there, and she was at peace. She was finished.

She hugged her knees and cried louder. She suddenly felt arms wrapped around her, a shoulder where she could cry. Someone was holding her and somehow, he was telling her that everything was going to be ok.

She felt the leather coat.

"Spike?" She asked while she tried to clean her face, but she couldn't hide her sadness "…everything is so hard here…" she said while he hugged her again, "… I can't do this… why am I here??" she said again, staring towards the night. "That was my moment… I shouldn't be here, crying because of some fucking bills, I should be dead… with mom… not here…"

"Shhhh, it's ok, pet. You will be ok."

"How…?" she asked between sobs, with his arms around her.

"You will learn to deal with it, like you used to do... before..."

She stayed there, within his warm hug, embraced by his strong-arms, where she felt she would learn how to live again.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"Doing what?" he said, looking at her.

"Helping and supporting me…"

"Well, what are mortal enemies for?"

"Yeah," she said, while she stretched on his lap and she dried the tears on her face. "... and ... because you love me, don't you?" she added, smiling at him.

"Yeah." he said glancing the floor. Then he stood up.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I have... some stuff to do..."

"But it's still early." she said.

"Yeah but…" he didn't finished his sentence, he just started walking without looking back.

When he had gone, Buffy stared the floor for a minute, thinking.

"What the hell was that?" she said to herself. "Why did he leave…? What am I saying??? I don't care why he left! IT'S SPIKE! But… what did I say? Oh God!"

She moved into the house and she went upstairs. She entered to her room and ten minutes later she was trying to sleep, but she couldn't. She was still thinking about Spike.

"What the hell is wrong with me?? Ok," she tried to calm down "let's see…"

She sat on her bed, and she tried to analyze the situation. Why was she still thinking about Spike? The first thing that came to mind was his body and his hard muscles.

"EWWWWW! What is wrong with me???" she said in loud voice. "If he's done some kind of spell I swear…"

Suddenly, Willow appeared at her door.

"Buffy? Is something wrong?" she asked, worried about her friend.

"Willow! Hi! Hum, listen… I think that something is going on… Something's wrong… I just… saw Spike ten minutes ago, and it just felt… weird…"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know… Tonight I was on the porch… thinking" she thought that it would be better if she didn't tell Willow about her sadness and her problems. "… about bills and all that, you know…"

Willow nodded.

"And then… Spike appeared." she stopped there, but Willow didn't look surprised at all.

"Ok, Spike appeared… in the night… he's a vampire, remember Buff?" she said "So, something else happened?"

"Yeah, I don't know… it was weird… I felt something…"

"Something… for him… you mean?" Now she looked really worried.

"Hummmm… maybe, I don't know, that's what's confusing me. It's just that… what could I feel about him? Hate? Rage? It's Spike, for God Sake!"

"So," Willow sat on the bed " you are trying to tell me that you have some kind of feelings for Spike?"

"I don't know… Willow… I don't know!"

"Well, Buffy, 'The Heart has reasons that the mind ignores.'"

"What?" Buffy asked.

And then, Willow diasppeared…and Buffy woke up.

What the Hell was that?!?

"A premonition?" - she thought. - "No, that would be ridiculous… right?"

"Oh that's it." she said. " Back to sleep, and please, no more premonitions!"

Title: Just love me… (1/?)

Rating: R and NC-17

Disclaimer: All characters of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them.

Romance/Drama/Some Fluff. (This chapter: romance and just a bit of drama).

Time: Middle of season 6.

Pairing: B/S (Spuffy, of course)

Feedback: Yes, please! It’s my first fanfic, so try not to be too cruel :P

“Love? What’s love without passion, tears and devotion? Drama, action, romance and adventure, mix up in this fantastic story. Would you choose between them? She won’t choose one. She’ll do everything, to save the man she fell in love with.”

Author’s note: This chapter will be easier to read. I’ll tell you when there is a dream, and when there is not. Note: Cursive sentences are Buffy’s dreams.

Spike: Well, I haven't been to a Hell dimension just of late, but I know a thing or two about torment

Buffy: I was happy.

Spike: I don't ...

Buffy: Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time didn't mean anything, nothing had form... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm and I was loved... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about dimensions or theology or any of ...but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not.

Spike: Buffy--

Buffy: I was torn out of there. My friends pulled me out. And everything here is bright and hard and violent... Everything I feel, everything I touch...this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that...knowing what I've lost ...

(After Life).

Buffy was trying to sleep, but still couldn’t. She started moving on her bed.

“Buffy,” she heard.

“Spike…” she said, moving and stretching her arms. She felt warm between her legs. She could feel him over her body, kissing and touching her. She bit her lip when she tried to catch him. . However, he just vanished each time she tried, so she desisted.

She started sweating. The heat was unbearable. She put a pillow between her legs when she felt the juice between her thighs and an orgasm coming on.

He touched her clit again, and then pressed downwards with his finger. Then, he placed it inside her, and started fucking her, slowly, and then faster…

She screamed when she came, and then woke up. She had her hands and a pillow between her hot, wet thighs. She was sweating although there was nobody else in her room.

“Oh God!” she said, staring at her ceiling.

Five minutes later she had gotten dressed. She needed to talk to Spike

This can’t be really happening… she thought. Jumping through her bedroom window, as she had so many times in the past, she headed out to find Spike. Her panties were still wet, and the heat was rising inside her again.

*

Spike had left Buffy’s house feeling a bit angry.

“So she mocks me ‘cause I love her, huh? Bollocks... Bloody slayer... bloody... hot... Slayer... AAAARRRRGGGHHH,” he shouted, raising his arms impatiently and angrily.

He arrived at the crypt ten minutes later, after crossing the cemetery.

“I have to forget her... yeah,” he said, smiling. ”I’ll remember old times with Dru... Yeah, it’s a good idea... No more games, no more “nice” Spike... I’ll find a partner... like before... yeah... and I’ll kill... like old times... I’ll KILL THE SLAYER... I DO NOT LOVE HER!!!”

“Right? Yeah... Oh, bollocks” he said, resigning himself to the worst part of his fantasy. This is gonna be hard, he thought, sitting on the couch and turning the TV on.

*

Buffy was trying to decide what to tell Spike.

‘Ok... think Buffy... not about sex... Ok... I will just ask him if he had some kind of spell done... or something else, lately... yeah, that’s it. It must have been a spell... it’s always a spell... right? Damn! What if I love him!? What?! What am I saying for God Sake!? But… the premonition?’

She entered his crypt, slamming the door behind her.

“Slayer, I really don’t have time for...” – he stopped wrinkling his nose and looking at her – “Slayer... what a surprise...” he added, standing up and walking towards her, slowly.

“Spike! Don’t...”

“Don’t what? I’m not doing anything,” he said while he approached, getting closer and closer to her.

“I’ve had a really bad night, Spike.”

“Really...” he said, almost touching her. Sniffing, he told her, “It doesn’t seem that bad…”

“Did you make a spell… or do something to me?”

“Wha... what?” he said, stopping his movements. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know... I’m feeling this weird thing. I had a really bad and strange dream… so, I’m asking you: did you make a spell? Some kind of love spell… or something?”

“What a bitch you are, Slayer!” he said, walking through the crypt.

“Hey!”

“Why you always think it’s my fault? Of course, it’s always me. You feel something, you’re realizing that you feel something for me, and the first thing you do is ask me if I made a spell! You cannot accept your feelings for me!”

“What? What feelings??? Listen to me! This has to be a spell! Why would I feel this way about you???” she said, walking towards him. “I can’t feel this! Not for you! It has to be...”

“What about love?” – he asked in low voice.

“What?” She looked at him.

“Nothing...”

“No... you said ‘What about love?’”

He didn’t respond.

“Spike!” she said, walking towards him and catching his shoulder to look into his eyes. She had tears in her eyes; tears he never saw.

“What?” he said, looking the floor. “You think I cannot be loved by anyone?”

“Spike, I didn’t...”

“That just because I’m dead, it means I don’t have a heart?” Now, he had tears in his eyes.

“No Spike, I never said...” But he turned around and walked towards the stairs.

“Damn it!” she said, following him.

She went downstairs; it was dark. She remembered this place: she had only been here once, when he had tied her and Drusilla up. He had made a few changes since then: the pictures of her were gone. Now there were some candles, and it looked pretty nice, almost normal.

She found him in a dark corner, his back to her. He was seated on his bed.

“Spike?” she asked, moving closer.

“Go away.”

She realized that he had been crying; noticed it by the sound of his voice. She climbed into the bed and moved towards him. He was looking at a picture.

“What’s that?” she asked, slowly.

“Nothing,” he said, hiding himself more in the darkness. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, putting her hand on his arm.

“No you aren’t,” he said, trying to avoid her touch. She approached his back, and put her chin on his shoulder. He had a glass of whisky in one hand. “This was my mother,” he finally said. Buffy looked the old picture he had in his hand.

She was really beautiful.

“It’s the only picture I have, he added, drying his tears off his face.

“What about those pictures of me you used to have?” she said, looking around.

“Oh, I sold them. There were four or five pics of you in underwear, and Clem and a couple of demons gave me a few dollars for them.”

“YOU WHAT???”

Spike started laughing.

“Just kiddin’, pet... ha ha... you should‘ve seen your face. Oh God!! Ha ha, I’ll never forget that.” He started laughing again.

“Oh, so you think it’s funny...”She jumped over him and they started to turn around on the bed. Spike was still laughing and Buffy was giving him little “blows” to his chest that tickled him. When they stopped she found herself on the top of his chest and they were both resting on the bed. He smiled and looked into her eyes. She smiled back.

“You know, I’ve never done this with a Slayer.”

“What, let yourself be tickled?”

Ha ha. “Yes. I have killed slayers; bitten them; drank from them, but this… this is really new.”

He glanced at the ceiling, hearing her heart beat. Then he hugged her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, suspiciously.

“Nothing... does it bother you?”

“No...” she said, smiling.

And then, she realized what she was doing. Unintentionally she had placed his leg between her thighs. He would be able to feel the heat radiating from her panties through her pants.

“Buffy... what... are you... doing?” he asked, raising his head to look at her, and trying to calm down his own reactions.

“I... I don’t know...” she responded, looking at him. ‘Why am I doing this?’ she thought. ‘I’m… scared…?’

“Don’t be...” he told her, reading her mind and the expression on her face. She was trembling. The heat of her body was driving him nuts. He started kissing her neck, and rolled her onto her back.

“Spike?” she asked.

“Yeah?” he said, looking at her. She looked a bit ashamed.

“Do you... want me...?” She needed to hear it, at least one more time.

He looked at her, a bit surprised.

“You know I do, always. You are smart” – he kissed her neck – “beautiful” – he kissed her cheek – “strong...” – he kissed her lips.

She smiled at him. And then she fell the heat rising in her body, like a wave. She knew she wanted him, but she didn’t know why. ‘Could it be love? Why not? The idea wasn’t impossible…’

“That’s all what I needed to know...” she told him.

“Why?” he asked, feeling as if he could hug her for all eternity.

“For telling you what I needed to.”

“What?” he said, feeling his erection press against his pants.

She brought her mouth close to his ear.

“I need you…”

Those were were the only words he needed to hear. He kissed her passionately, but she stopped him.

Something in her head, was telling her ‘This is wrong’. “Spike...”

“Shhhh…”

“No it’s not,” she thought, again.

He sat up, with Buffy on his lap and her legs around him. He kissed her neck and took her leather jacket off. The leather was making her and sweaty.

He discoverd that she only had a bra on under her coat. He looked questioningly at her.

“Well... the night was really hot.” she explained, covering herselfup again with the coat, a bit ashamed.

“Don’t.” He grabbed her hands and stopped her movements. “You are really beautiful.”

She smiled, flushing.

“The night was really… hot,” she said while he kissed her neck.

“I see... that’s why you arrived here all… soaked?” he mockingly asked, placing her on her back again and smiling. He started kissing her stomach very slowly.

“You know... I had a dream... that’s why i came here...”

“What kind of dream?” he inquired, laughing and kissing her at the same time. While he kissed her he quickly took off all of his clothes.

“Well, you were there.”

He smiled in secret.

Her legs were trembling, and with all those tender kisses, the unbearable heat, the sweat and Spike over her, she was loosing her mind. She just needed him closer. She slid both of her hands under him and hugged his body, feeling him closer than ever, with his erection against her pants, right over her entrance.

“Shhhhhh, it’s ok pet, I’m here,” he said, trying to calm her down.

“Will you stay with me?” she asked.

“Always,” he promised, looking at her. He kissed her shoulder.

“I’m cold,” she said.

He smiled and picked a blanket.

“Vampire. Remember?”He was still over her and had never moved. She loved that; his body covering hers, the warmth of both hearts... She buried her face in his neck. He felt a tear.

“Shhhh… I’m here…” he said, hugging her body. “I’ll always be here.”

“Always?” she asked.

He nodded, breathing into her neck.

“Hmmmm,” she said.

“What?” he asked, smiling at her again.

“Now it is too hot...”

She slid both of her hands under his body, and then put them between her thighs, using her fingers to press her pants against her clit.

“Hey,” he said in low voice, grabbing her hands and smiling at her. “Let me do it; that’s my job. Unless... you have changed your mind?”

She smiled. “Never.”

He moved her hand and put it aside, very tenderly. Then he kissed her low stomach and started to unbutton her pants. He started kissing her pelvis above them.

Her first reaction was to raise her pelvis, urging him to kiss more. He took off her pants.

He could see an _expression of pure desire on her face. Her panties were all wet. Just with a touch, she would experience mad ecstasies. She wanted him inside of her.

He climbed over on top, watching her: so innocent, so beautiful and so sensible. The wrong touch could ruin everything, so he carefully unhooked her bra and started kissing her neck. Then he moved to her cheek, her breasts and her nipples, massaging them with his tongue. He descended his hand towards her pelvis, and then put it below her panties, massaging her wet clit. He could feel her coming, so he whispered in her ear: “Not yet!”

“I need it.”

“I know… I can do something about that…”

“Can you?” she asked, smiling. He put her hand on his hard cock. She took a deep breath, trying to control herself.

“Hmmm... delicious...” she said, “but... it’s not working.”

He smiled, and kissed her. While he massaged her with his tongue he put his finger on her wet entrance and pushed it inside. She started to come furiously, so he kissed her more to calm her a bit. She started to beg for him to put it in.

He smiled. ‘Oh, so you wanna play…?’ she thought, ’Okay, let’s play.’ ‘Bastard wants me to beg for him? Wants me to beg? I’ll make you beg,’ she thought again, smiling.

She grabbed his cock, very hard, and started massaging it from his balls to the tip.

She knew it was driving him crazy.

He could feel himself of the verge of madness.

She knew he liked it…

He buried his face in her neck, begging for more. He saw a vein pulsing in rhythm of her heart beats, right under her hair. He asked himself if a new experience would drive her mad. ‘Why not?’ he thought. He surged inside of her at the same time as his vampire face emerged, and bit her neck.

“Unh!… Spike!” she yelled, surprised. But he didn’t stop. And neither did she. “Hmmmm, I like that…”

‘You do, don’t you?’ he thought. “That’s my slayer.” He started a rhythm with his own body, inside and out of her.

When she begged for more he picked her hips with his hands and introduced his cock deeper.

“More!” she yelled.

He increase the pace of his thrusts, inside and out of her, holding her hands over her head and drinking more blood from her neck. ‘Faster and deeper,’ he thought. They both came with a moan. He buried his face in her neck, exhausted.

“Well, that was new…” she said. He smiled.

“You loved it.” he said, and she smiled back.

She caressed his hair while he kissed her neck. They both smiled to each other.

Then he looked at her.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, curious.

“What?” she asked, caressing his shoulder.

“This,” he said.

She thought about an answer for a minute. “I don’t know,” she told him, while caressing his cheekbone and then his lips.

He kissed her fingers.

“Maybe you were right.”

“About what?”

“What about love,” she said.

He looked at her, surprised, raising his head.

“I don’t know...” she said, smiling and flushing at the same time. “Maybe I do, who knows...”

“I do.” He kissed her cheek. Then he looked at her and asked, “Why were you crying today? I felt a tear… a warm one,” he added, caressing her cheek.

She put his arms around her. –“I don’t know… I’m tired…”

He knew she still felt pain. He kissed her forehead.

“I just…” she said. He looked at her. –“Would you...?” she asked, without looking at him.

“What? You can tell me.”

“Would you stay with me?”

“Always,” he said. He was still inside her, so he pulled his cock out. “Are you ok?” he asked when he saw an expression of pain on her face.

“I’ll be fine.” She smiled at him.

“Maybe I was too rude.”

“No...” she said, her eyes closed. –“You were great.”

“Really…” he asked, smiling at her.

“Yeah, really…” she told him, smiling also. Then she looked up at him. She had some tears in her eyes. “Don’t go away... please...?”

“I won’t... I love you… you know that.” He hugged her, pulling her face against his comforting chest.

“You do?”

“Buffy!” he said. She smiled. “Of course I do… you will be ok,” he told her. –"I promise. I will be with you. Always.”

“Promise?”

“I swear it.” She was so tired that she simply fell asleep in his arms as he watched over her.

He knew she was suffering in this cruel world. He would have to take care of her. He smiled; he liked the idea of Buffy in his life. ‘Yeah,’ he thought, ‘But, what about love?’

He kept her warm all night with his kisses and caresses. “I love you” he whispered to her again.

“Thank you” she said, smiling at him, still sleeping and dreaming. Then he slept too, hugging and loving her.

‘She loves me, she said,’ were his last thoughts

TBC

Title: Just love me… (2/?)

Rating : R and NC-17

Disclaimer: All characters of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them, blah blah blah...

Category: Romance/Drama/Mystery

Time: Middle of season 6.

Pairing: B/S (Spuffy, of course)

Feedback: Yes, please!

Author’s note: Cursives sentences are Spike’s dreams, ok?

Summary: A new evil power invades Sunnydale and takes Spike with him. “Love? What’s love without passion, tears and devotion? Drama, action, romance and adventure, mix up in this fantastic story. Would you choose between them? She won’t choose one. She’ll do everything, to save the man she fell in love with.”

~

Spike woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and trembling. He was scared. Something was there. He looked around, searching for it. That was when he realized that Buffy wasn’t there.

“Buffy?” he asked, looking around. The bed was empty; she had left.

He suddenly heard something, a voice...

‘You will return to me, William, just like before...’ the voice said.

It was cold. He breathed, and he saw some his breath come out in a frosty mist. A shadow appeared inside the crypt; it was dark, but he could still see it.

“Who are you? What...”

“What...? I won’t... What are you? A demon? Some kind of ghost? I’m not afraid of you...”

“Yes, you are, I can feel it. I feel it in your bones, in your essence, in your entrails. I come from the darkness... I’m that evil thing you are afraid of; I’m the cause of the nightmares, all the nightmares... I’m death; I’m life... I’m the master; I’m the slayer... I’m God; I’m the devil... Ii’m all what I want to be, and you won’t stop me... they think that I don’t exist…I came with death…with the slayer…and I’ll drag you with me into the darkness…, and no one will save you.’

“She will”, he said, looking out at the darkness of the crypt.

“You think so? You think she would love and take care of you, like I would? She has no idea of what you are: a beast, a killer... you are not human, and you never will be... one of them.”

And then she vanished... and Spike woke up.

He sat on the bed, feeling a warm arm pull around him.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked. “A nightmare?”

He didn’t respond.

“Come on, it’s me; you can tell me...”

“Why?” he asked, without looking at her.

“What do you mean, ‘why’? Because I’m worried about you… I take care of you…” she said.

Spike remembered what the ghost had said: “You think she would love and take care of you, like I would? She has no idea of what you are: a beast, a killer... you are not human, and you never will be... one of them.”

“You don’t love me,” he bitterly told her.

“I do…” she said, still not looking at him.

“You love me?” he asked, laughing sarcastically.

“Yes, I do,” she insisted, hurt by his sarcasm.

“You love me...”He continued to laugh, and then some tears appeared in his eyes.“You love me...” –he covered his face with his hand– “You cannot love me.” He started crying.

“Spike” –she hugged him, wrapping his head securely between her arms– “Yes, I do. I love you. I realised that tonight. These feelings… what I feel for you…. It’s natural.”

He buried his face in her neck.

“Why?” he asked, crying.

“Because I know you. I know who you are.”

“I’m a killer, Buffy,” he said, looking directly at her. “That’s what I am. How can you love a killer?”

“Spike!” She held his face with her hands, making him look into her eyes. “You are not a killer, not anymore! You are not the man you used to be.”

“But...” he said, “She told me... you didn’t love me. That I was a beast... a killer, that you would never love me…”

“She… in your nightmare? She was lying... I’ll always love you! You know that… don’t forget it...” she added in a whisper. “Never forget it… Come here...”

He leaned on her chest, still crying. She hugged him more, kissing his hair, his forehead and his cheeks.

“Everything is gonna be ok...” she told him.

After a few minutes he calmed down.

“Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?” she asked, softly.

“I think it was more than a nightmare,” he said, sitting on the bed.

“A premonition, you mean?” she said, caressing his hair and then his back.

“Yeah.” He looked over at her. “Buffy, remember when you came back, and that demon came with you?”

“Yeah... I killed him.”

“Well, in my nightmare a shadow appeared...” –he started thinking– “...it was like a ghost, something in the darkness.”

“She talked to you?” Buffy asked, looking at him.

“Yeah” –he swallowed– “She said... that the demon who came with you from death, wasn’t the only one who... passed. She said that she was the darkness, and that... she would take me with her... that she would change me into the beast I was before...” He looked over at her again, scared.

“Spike, listen to me” –he looked at her eyes– “That won’t happen, I promise. I won’t let it.”

“She said that you wouldn’t be able to stop her.”

“Hey, I’ve stopped everything in my way, remember? Even you for a while...” She smiled. “Don’t worry. We will search some information tomorrow, ok?”

“Yeah. Ok.”

*

A few hours later…

Spike covered himself with a blanket while Buffy put her skirt on.

“Cover all of your body; I don’t want a dusted vampire as a boyfriend,” she told him, smiling.

“A boyfriend?” –they both smiled– “You know, that’s why I love you so much.” He threw away the blanket and started kissing her.

Hmmmm... “Spike!” she exclaimed. “We have no time for this...” she added, letting him kiss her neck.

“Sure we do.” He put a hand between her thighs. Then he carried her to the bed.

“Hmmmm, I love when you do that.” He started touching her clit through her panties.

“But Spike... we need to go...”

“I don’t want anything but you,” he said, kissing her face.

“But they will worry...”

“Forget them...” He unhooked her bra, kissing her breasts and her nipples.

“Ahhhh... I can’t...” –he bit one of them– “Ahhhhhh...”

“Why not?” he said again, biting the other one.

“Because... they are... my friends...”

“I’m your boyfriend...” he said, smiling at her.

“Yeah...” He took off her skirt and her panties. His cock was begging for attention. He unzipped his pants, and took it out. She sat on his lap, with his cock in her wet entrance.

“Easy...” he said.

She put it inside of her, slowly, feeling a bit of pain.

“Shhhhh... let me help you...” He picked her up, and helped her. – Slowly...

“Unh...”

He saw an expression of pain in her face.

“You want me to stop?” he asked, looking at her, but he already knew the answer.

“No...” –she buried her face in his neck– “Never stop...”

He smiled.

“You know that I love you, and that I would never do anything to hurt you...” he said, looking at her.

“I love you too.” These words made him focus on his actions again.

“Unh… Spike…”

“Shhhhh… trust me... do you trust me?”

“Unh-huh.”

He started a slow rythm with her body, and moved his thumb to her clit, caressing it.

She moaned.

“Like that, don’t you?” he said, smiling.

“Yeah...” –she looked at him– “I love you.”

“I love you too pet,” he said, kissing her.

*

That evening…

“Buffy!” Dawn said, seeing her sister enter the magic Box. She hugged her.

“Where were you?” Giles asked. “We were worried.”

“Sorry, something came up.”

“Something we should worry about?” Xander asked.

“Well” –Buffy said, looking at Spike– “Spike had a premonition.”

“Nothing?” Xander said again, like he hadn’t heard anything.“Yija! We have the night off!”

“Xander!” Buffy screamed, looking at him.

“What kind of premonition, Spike?” Giles asked him.

Spike told them what he had dreamed, except for the part when the shadow said that Buffy would never love him.

“See?” –Xander said– “He’s always causing a new problem!”

“Xander!” Anya and Buffy said at the same time.

“Well, that’s interesting...” Giles said, picking at his glasses. “And, you have no idea why she choose you? This... being?”

“Hummm, no...”

“Well, I think we should do some research... Willow...?”

“Computers? Sure! That’s something fun to do... looking for a demon who comes to destroy the world... searching a way to kill him first, before he kills us...” –she stopped when she saw the expresion of their faces. “Sorry, I though it would be fun.” Tara grabbed her hand and they smiled at each other.

“Well, I’m glad that someone sees the fight against the Hellmouth like a hobby,” Giles said.

“Okay!” –Xander added– “This will take long. So... who wants pizza?”

*

After a half and hour…

Xander broke the studious silence first. “That’s it! I give up! This is a waste of time. It’s impossible!” Buffy looked at him. “We even don’t know what we are looking for. I didn’t find anything.”

“Yeah, me either,” Willow said, closing the book. “There’s nothing here.”

“What if you had just a nightmare?” Xander asked.

“It wasn’t a nightmare; it was more than that. I could feel it in my bones, inside of me.” Spike said.

“Spike” –Giles asked– “You said that this demon... or ghost... told you he would drag you into the darkness with him?”

“Yeah” –he stood up, a bit nervous– “she said ‘You will return to me, William, just like before...’ and ‘I’m the one who will change you into who you were...’

“Wait” –Xander stood up– “That means that you will be an evil vampire again?”

Suddenly, the vampire side emerged from Spike.

“AARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!” He picked up the table and fliped it over.

“BUFFY, WATCH OUT!” Xander shouted.

But she didn’t move. Instead, she grabbed him by his t-shirt and carried him to the training room. She closed the door behind them, and let him go.

The vampire was going to attack her again, but something stopped him.

“NO! I won’t do it!”

They both heard the voice in the room:

“Yes, you will, and your soul will be mine..”.

“NOOOO!!! ARRRGGHHH!!!!!....”

“Spike!” Buffy held his face with her hands. “Listen to me! I know you are in there; you can control this, don’t listen to her.”

“No, he can’t. He will never control it. It’s his instinct. He will never defeat the beast he has inside.”

All the scoobies were at the door, listening, but Buffy never realized.

“Come on, you bitch! Show yourself!” she yelled at the ceiling.

The voice started laughing.

“Not yet... you will have your turn...”And then she was gone.

Spike sat on the floor, trembling and exhausted.

“Spike, are you ok?” -she kneeled in front of him and hugged him– “Don’t worry.”

“I’m here,” she said.

Some of the scobbies omited that part; others, like Xander and Giles, turned around and left.

TBC…

Title: Just love me… (3/?)

Rating: R and NC-17

Disclaimer: All characters of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them.

Category: Romance/Drama/A bit angst…

Time: Middle of season 6.

Pairing: B/S (Spuffy, of course)

Feedback: Yes, please!

Summary: A new, evil power invades Sunnydale and takes Spike with him.

“Love? What’s love without passion, tears and devotion? Drama, action, romance and adventure mix up in this fantastic story. Would you choose between them? She won’t choose one. She’ll do everything to save the man she fell in love with.”

Author’s note: Cursive letters are William the Bloody words.

Buffy came back from the training room.

“Spike’s resting. He’s exhausted right now, so we better not...

“Are you in love with him?” Giles asked. Everybody was looking at her.

“Wha…?”

“You heard what I said,” Giles told her. He wasn’t very happy.

“Well, it’s complicated...” she answered, staring at her hands.

“It’s okay if you love him, Buffy...” Willow started saying.

“No Willow,” -Xander said– “it’s not okay...”

“Yes… I do. I love him,” Buffy finally answered.

“Buffy!” Xander added, standing up. “He’s a killer.”

“No he’s not. Not anymore,” Buffy answered.

“Well, he was!”

“Xander” –Buffy said, walking a step – “he’s not the man he used to be!”

“He’s not even a man,” he said, without looking at her.

“Buffy, listen to me,” Xander said, again. “We only want the best for you, I want the best for...”

“You?” she asked, sarcastically. “Right Xander, and you wanted the best for me when I was with Angel, of course? Yeah... you always wanted the best for me... Even when you tried to kill him! For God Sake!”

“That... was different.”

“Right Xander, it’s always different when it’s up to you, you know…” she said, with exasperation. –“You never think about others… you just think about your ego… and try to resolve problems that are not of your business… you never think about my happiness…”

“Buffy...” Willow said, trying to calm her down.

“It seems you have been keeping this secret for a long time,” Xander said, picking up his jacket and leaving the Magic Box.

A blond vampire had been eavesdropping on them... hidden behind the bookcase, he listened to their entire conversation. Then he just turned around, and went back into the training room.

Buffy didn’t say anything to Xander; she just watched him leave.

Nobody said anything. Giles just closed a book and started cleaning his glasses.

Willow was the first to talk. “K…” she said. “Buffy, we found some interesting stuff about what’s going on with Spike,” She added, not looking directly at her friend.

“Yeah” Giles said, “there’s some kind of “sedative” we could use. It will calm him down until we find out what’s going on here. Until that moment... I don’t want to see you with him.”

“What?” she said, thinking it was absurd “Giles!”

“I’m sorry, Buffy, but it’s very dangerous,” he insisted.

“Well, you said that this drug would calm him.” She glanced at the bottle on the table.

“Yes, but we are not very sure, besides…”

“I’ll be ok…” she said, picking the pink bottle.

“But… Buffy…”

“Giles! I’ll be fine!” She was leaving the room…

“Buffy!”

“What?” she asked, turning around.

“Listen Buffy… there could be some… problems…” He sat down in the chair.

“What do you mean?” she asked, turning around.

He massaged his temple.

“Giles… -she looked at him; he was avoiding her- Giles!” she insisted.

“It’s not… it’s not totally… safe, Buffy”

“What do you mean?” she asked, walking towards him.

“There’s a… measure…”

“Huh?”

“A measure… let’s just say that he has to drink a specific quanity…” he said.

“A specific amount? Why is that important?”

“Buffy, you have to understand that this sedative is very strong… it has never been tried on vampires, yet… it could be very dangerous…”

“What would happen if…?”

“You don’t want know,” he said, looking at her. “You don’t even want to find it out”.

“Giles… tell me, I have to know… what would happen if Spike drank more of it than he’s supposed to?”

Giles breathed slowly…

“We are not really sure yet but…”

“Giles…”

“He… he would enter in some kind of coma. And… likely this being... would then be able to drag him to the darkness” –he covered his face– “just like she said…”

*

*

Buffy entered the training room.

“Hey there,” she greeted. Spike was laying on a couch, with both hands covering his eyes.

She sat next to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t worry,” she answered, moving his hands to look to his eyes. “It wasn’t you.”

“I think it would be better if you stayed away from me.” he said, sitting up on the couch.

“What?”

“I’m too dangerous. –he looked at her– “I don’t want to hurt you. Not you.”

She smiled, caressing his face.

“You know, Giles found something. It’s like a cure. A… temporary… cure.”

Spike looked at her.

“Really?”

“Yeah, well, it’s not a cure… it’s more like a… sedative.”

“Oh” –he looked at the floor– “it would work?”

“Yeah, but… you should be really careful. If you drink more of it than necessary, you could have some kind of attack, and enter into a coma.”

“A coma?”

“Yeah…”

“And you would have to save me” – he laughed.

“Yeah, I would…” She caressed her face.

“Why?”

“Because I saw the love in your eyes”

*

*

Buffy closed the front door behind Spike and leaned on it.

“Dawn’s not here… she’s staying at Willow’s,” she said, exploring his body with her gaze.

“And that’s why you’re looking at me so dirty?” he said, laughing.

“Nooo… it’s because you like it,” she said, smiling.

He walked towards her,putting a hand on her thigh and then taking it off, hesitant.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea… I could…”

“Spike…” -she cupped his face with her hands– “I trust you”.

*

Those were the words he needed. He kissed her, massaging her tongue with his, playing inside her mouth.

“I love you baby,” he said.

“Hmmmmm” she moaned while she kissed him.

“I’ll take that as an “I love you too” he answered, laughing.

“Hmmmm… upstairs…” she said, pushing him towards the stairs.

“Hmmm… usptairs?… hmmm… no… hmmm… the couch is closer…” he answered, pushing her towards the living room.

“Hmmmm…no… bed… comfy…”

“Baby…” he looked at her.

“Please…?”

“Ok…”

“Thank you,” she said, before kissing him. She bit his lip.

“Hmmm, I love when you do that…” He rubbed her butt.

She moaned, feeling him even closer.

“You love this too,” she said, putting a hand on the bulge in the front of his pants, and massaging it.

“Oh God… yes, I do… but you love this too.” He pushed her against the wall, and his hands started climbing under her skirt.

“Hmmm…” she moaned. “Yeah…” She unzipped his pants, and started massaging his hard cock.

“Oh… Buffy… fuck… bloody… hell… do that… yeah… I love it… more… faster…yeah, right there… like that… oh Buffy… you’re a goddess… fuck…”

He closed his eyes, and Buffy kneeled in front of him. He put his cock inside her mouth.

“Oh God… oh fuck… Buffy… oh bloody… fucking hell… oh I love that… yes, baby…” he put a hand on her hair, helping her with the rhythm. “Oh yeah, that feels so good… I love you so much…”

“Wait,” he said, stopping her. “Don’t wanna cum yet. We would miss all the fun.” He smiled.

She liked his lips, and then sank her nails in his ass while she kissed him. Spike’s erection became harder as he unbuttoned her shirt and started kissing her nipples.

“Unh… I want it now,” she said, rubbing his cock.

“I know.” He put her panties aside, and started massaging her clit with his finger while he opened his mouth to better lick her nipple.

She wrapped her legs around his waist.

“You know I can’t wait,” she said, looking at him.

“I know… me either…”

He put his cock in her entrance, creating pressure as he penetrated.

“Unh… yeah…”

“Like that baby?” he asked, massaging her clit.

“Yeah, do that… Unh… love it…” He put a nipple in his mouth – “Unh! Yeah… more!…”

“Oh God… I love you Buffy…” he said, without breaking the rhythm and kissing her neck.

“I love you too, Spike… I’ll always love you…”

Suddenly, his vampire face emerged.

“No, you won’t,” he said, sinking his fangs in her neck.

TBC…

Title: Just love me... chappy 4.

Raiting: This chapter: PG-13. Followingchapters: R and NC-17.

Disclaimer: All characters of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them.

Romance/Drama/Some Fluff. (This chapter: romance and just a little of drama).

Time: Middle of season 6.

Pairing: B/S (Spuffy, of course)

Feedback: Yes, please!

Summary: A new evil power invades Sunnydale and takes Spike with him.

“Love? What’s love without passion, tears and devotion? Drama, action, romance and adventure mix up in this fantastic story. Would you choose between them? She won’t choose one. She’ll do everything to save the man she fell in love with.”

~

Spike sank his fangs into Buffy’s neck.

“AHHHHH! SPIKE!!” She screamed, pushing him away and covering the wound on her neck with her hand.

Spike stepped away from her.

“Oh God…” he said. His lips were bloody; he could feel her in his mouth… Slayer Blood. “Oh Hell…”

“Spike…”

He ran towards the door. Buffy stopped him, still covering her wound with one hand.

“Spike…”

“I have to go,” he said, staring at the floor “I have to stay away from you”.

He opened the door. She grabbed his hand.

“Don’t, Buffy… I don’t wanna hurt you… not now… not when…” She cupped his face with her hands, and kissed him.

“You didn’t hurt me” - she said leaning her forehead against his- “You could never hurt me”.

Some tears appeared in his eyes.

“I’m sorry”

“Shhhh, it’s ok,” she said. Then she grabbed his hand and walked towards the kitchen.

“Come” she said.

“Buffy… where are we going”

“You’re gonna take the sedative,” she said, looking at him. She knew it wasn’t the best choice, but it was the safest. She would stay with him… not taking any risks.

*

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea, Giles…” Willow said, looking at him. They were both seated in front of the table. “You told her that the sedative could be really dangerous…”

“We can’t take any more risks, Willow… you know that. Spike’s a danger for Buffy… and for us…”

“But, Giles! The consequences could be…”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Willow… besides… it was her choice”.

*

“Ewww… I’m glad I’m not the one who has to drink this…” Buffy said, holding the bottle in front of her.

“Great, thanks for that love”.

“Ok…” she said, glancing at the old book that Giles had given her. “So… let’s see…” “Wow…” she suddenly said; Spike looked at her, a bit concerned. “Believe me, you don’t wanna mix this with tequila…”

“C’mon Slayer, stop wasting my time…”

“Ok, ok… oh! Here it is… ewww, no sorry, it can’t be this one, unless you have a green liquid coming out from your…”

“Slayer!”

“Ok! Oh, now, yeah… found it… aha… oh…”

“Oh?” Why do you mean by “oh”?”

“Well… it’s not… that bad… I mean, not bad at all of course! But… hummm”

“Oh, give me that!” he took the book from her hands, and started reading the page…

*

“So, you gave her the book?” Willow asked Giles. “Did you tell her about…?”

“No… that’s the part I’m afraid of. The ritual… hummm… the spell… hummm.. the…”

“K Giles, got that part. What about it?”

“Well, that’s the part that could be really dangerous… at the end… he’s gonna have to drink from her…”

*

“Orgasm… without consummation…Vampire… Slayer… spell… blood… darkness…” he read “Bloody hell… Is this in the right order?” he asked her, then continued reading. “oh… he he, and have you seen what you have to do?” He started laughing.

“What?” she asked, trying to grab the book from his hands. “Oh… yuck… Ewww…”

“Spike, what are you doing?”

“We have to make that spell, Slayer…”

*

“Giles, you never told me… or Buffy… what would happen if…”

The front door suddenly opened. Xander came in.

“Hey you,” Willow greeted.

“Hey. Where’s Buffy?” he asked.

“Well, she’s… humm… busy… right now… not here…”

He sat on the chair, taking off his jacket.

“You know, she didn’t mean to say all of those things…” Willow said.

“Yeah she did… and she was right…”

“Xander…”

“It doesn’t matter Will, at least not for now…” he turned to Giles. “So, Gily-Giles, anything interesting?”

“Well, we found some interesting things…”

*

“Oh, that’s gross!! If you think I’m gonna taste that, you’re nuts!!”

“C’mon Slayer, getting tired here!! Besides… I’m already ready…”

“Ewww…”

“If you don’t open your mouth, I’m gonna force you!”

“Do I really have to?”

“Buffy!”

Buffy opened her mouth, and drank the pink liquid from a spoon that Spike was holding in front of her.

“So? How is it?”

“Hummm… it’s not that bad” she replied, swallowing the sedative.

“Really?” he asked, reading the book… “it says there could be some…”

“Whoa… effects?” she finished.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah… just a bit dizzy, here…” -she shook her head- “ok, better now…”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea, Buffy…”

“Oh… well, I already did it… so let’s do it, once and for all”.

He kissed her, feeling the heat of her body against his, massaging her tongue inside of her mouth. He started to unbutton her pants.

“Hmmmm”

“What?” he asked her, fearing that the sedative could be having some other effects.

“Nuthing… just… yummy…”.

He smiled, and then slid one hand under her panties, starting to massage her clit.

She held her breath.

“Without consummatation, huh?” she said. “Gonna… be… a little… hard…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean…” he answered, sliding his finger to touch her entrance.

He pushed her against the wall, still kissing her. She unzipped his pants, massaging his hard cock.

“Oh… god… Buffy…”

“I’m liking this spell…” she said, smiling.

“God… I just wish I could…”

“Don’t…” she looked at him “Don’t think about things you won’t be able to give me... because you gave me so much more than that…”.

He smiled.

“Even now?”

She smiled too.

“Even now…”. She kissed him, massaging from his balls to his cock.

“oh… fuck… Buffy…” he moaned, smelling her hair and neck “you’re doing it so good baby… yeah… I love that…”

“Spike…” she was near to the climax “I’m gonna… you have to…”

“I know baby… God…so wet for me… always for me…”

“Yeah… always for you…”

“Unh… say that again…”

“Always for you… nobody else… it’s always been you.”

As she came she said, “Do it now!”

Spike’s vampire face emerged, and he bit her neck.

*

“You did what?? Giles! You know how dangerous that can be??” Xander asked, standing up to face him.

“It was the only way Xander…” Willow said.

“I’m not gonna let that beast bite her… it happened once with Angel… and the results…”

“She wanted to do this,” Willow said. “We had no other option… we searched in every book…”

“What about the book called ‘How to kill a vampire who is a menace for everybody?’ …And we’re not talking about a simple vampire, Will… it’s William the Bloody!”

“Xander’s right” Giles said. “He’s a menace. If this dependended on us…”

“But it doesn't!!” Willow suddenly said. Both looked at her. “That’s what you don’t understand!! Both of you!! ‘Cause it hasn’t been only Xander… you always have an influence on her choices, Giles! And that’s what you both don’t understand… it doesn’t depend on you! It was her choice!” She calmed down a bit and sat. “Ok… I’m fine now…”

They didn’t say anything, knowing she was right.

*

Spike started drinking from Buffy. The spell said the sedative had to be in the Slayer blood, and then the vampire would have to drink from her…

But Spike was drinking way too much…

“Spii..ke…” she said.

He transformed his face again.

“Oh… Buffy… God… I’m…”

“I know” she caressed her face. “We need to…”

“Whoa,” he suddenly said… “Dizzy…”

“Come here…” she said, grabbing his hand and walking towards the bed. She laid on it.

“Come” she said again.

He lay down beside her, resting his head on her chest. And they both slept…

TBC…

Title: Just love me… ch. 5/?

Rating: R and NC-17 for language, mature situations and bloodplay.

Disclaimer: All characters of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them.

Romance/Angst and Drama.

Time: Middle of season 6.

Pairing: B/S (spuffy, of course)

Feedback: Yes, please!

Summary: A new evil power invades Sunnydale and takes Spike with him.

“Love? What's love without passion, tears and devotion? Drama, action, romance and adventure, mix up in this fantastic story. Would you choose between them? She won't choose one. She'll do everything, to save the man she fell in love with."

Author’s note: Cursive letters are the demon quotes. The song is “Bring me to life” by Evanescence.

~

Spike felt soft skin. Warm skin… warm blood…

His vampire face emerged… he licked her… and touched her... He kissed and licked her arm… then her breasts under the sheet.

“Hmmm… Spike?” she started moving “what are you doing?”

“Shhhh,” he said, putting a finger inside her mouth and kissing his way down her body…

“Hmmm,” she moaned, tasting and sucking his finger.

“That’s it… my bad girl…” he said. He licked her clit.

“Hmmm… yeah… your bad girl…” she grabbed the back of his head, creating more pressure against her clit… “Hmmm… more”

“More?” he asked, smiling “What do you want me to do, baby?”

“Lick me…”

“You want me to lick you hard?” he asked, looking at the expression of desire on her face.

“Hmmm… yeah… very hard…”

He licked and sucked her, massaging her clit with his tongue, and then her wet entrance…

“Hmmm… harder…”

“Harder? You want me to fuck you with my tongue, baby?”

“Hmmm… yeah, fuck me hard, Spike… fuck me hard with your tongue, with your fingers…” He continued licking her entrance as he made the way in. “Oh God… Yeah… oh… just like that…”

“You like it baby?” he asked, without stopping.

“Hmmm… yeah…” he caressed her clit with his finger, and then put another finger inside of her. “Oh God…” she said, raising her hips. “I wanna feel you inside…”

He shifted to kiss her. She could taste herself in his mouth, but she liked that…

“Hmmm, you taste so good” he said, kissing her, massaging her tongue with his.

“Hmmm, I do?”

“Yeah.” He bit her lip, and put his cock in her entrance. “Wanna feel it, baby?”

“Hmmm… yeah…”

“What do you wanna feel?” He kissed her neck. “Tell me…”

“Hmmm… I wanna feel your hard cock, Spike… unh… inside of me.” He pushed himself inside of her, feeling ther hot flesh against his cold skin.

“Like that, baby?”

“Uhn… god yeah…” He saw an expression of pain on her face.

“Am I hurting you, baby? Tell me…”

“No...” she answered. She could tell that he was still worried about the other day. She kissed him, reassuringly.

“I could never hurt you, baby… ya know that, right?” he said.

“Hmmm… yeah I know,” she said, kissing him. “I’m ok… don’t worry…” He started a slow rhythm inside of her, caressing her muscles and her butt… “Uhn…”

“Oh God…” he moaned, holding her wrists over her head and kissing her neck. Then he brought one breast partly into his mouth, sucking and licking it… he bit her nipple.

“Hmmmmm…” she moaned when he licked between her breasts.

He sat up, still snug inside, with her on his lap. She started riding him…

“Oh God…” they both moaned.

“Oh… fucking… bloody…hell,” he said, kissing, licking and sucking her breasts. She grabbed the back of his head with her hand, prompting him to kiss her more… “Hmmmm… Buffy, baby, you taste so good…” He caressed her clit with his thumb.

“Oh… God… Spike… I’m gonna…”

“Do it baby… cum with me…”

“Uhn…”

“Oh god…” he moaned, grabbing her ass. “Oh God… Buffy… I need to…” She pressed his head against one of her nipples, knowing exactly what he was going to do…

His vampire face emerged, and as they came he bit her nipple, drinking in her blood… Slayer blood…

“Oh shit, please no…” It was too late by the time he realized what was going to happen… he couldn’t control the beast inside of him. “Oh fuck…” he said.

“What?” Buffy asked, looking at him.

His vampire side emerged, pushing her away. She smacked into the wall, hurting her elbow. It started bleeding.

“OUCH!!” she said, checking her arm. “Spike??!! Are you insane?!”

He turned his vampire face to her…

“YOU BITCH!!…” he yelled as he threw himself at her, trying to bite her neck.

“AAAHHH!” She covered her face with her arms, but he never touched her. Something stopped him.

“NO! I WON’T HURT HER!!” a voice screamed inside of Spike’s body…

It was like an internal battle: two men in a same body… “ARGH! DAMN!!”

“Spike…” Buffy got up and slowly walked towards him. He was covering his ears with his hands. She touched his arm. The vampire emerged again from Spike and punched her in the face, slamming her against the wall.

“Oh God… Buffy!!” Spike said as he became conscious of what he had done.

She wasn’t moving and he couldn’t help her… it was too dangerous for her… the only thing he could do was leave… so he picked up his pants and left through the window…

*

*

The sun was shining through Buffy’s window. She could feel the heat of the sun on her skin… and the floor… the floor?!?… And then a pain in her head… ow…

“Ouch” she said, moving her arm to touch the wound on her head. And then she remembered what had happened… “Spike?” she called, looking around. But he wasn’t there.

She got up, still naked, and walked towards the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror: she had a purple bruise on her jaw. She touched it… it still hurt…

She turned on the shower and stepped inside. After a while, she laid her head on the wall, thinking about what could have gone wrong with the sedative… never tested in vampires… the consequences could be terrible…

“Damn,” she said, trying to think while she put her head under the water.

*

*

He held his head between his hands, some tears rolling over his cheeks. He had bitten her… he had hurt her… he didn’t deserve her… he deserved to die…

Or at least, this was the way his mind was working…

He got up and started walking through his crypt. He hit the wall, feeling very angry…

“Damn!” He had to do something… but not now. Besides, it was the daylight outside… he’d do it tonight… he would go and…

*

*

“Buffy, what happened to you?” Xander asked as Buffy entered the Magic Box He got up from the table where he was seated and walk towards her

“A vamp… last night… I didn’t see it and… well, he punched me…” she said, looking at him. Giles didn’t seem totally convinced, but he didn’t say anything. He probably would talk to her later.

“So… how’s Spike?” Xander asked. He wouldn’t see a naked woman dancing in front of him, so he didn’t realize anything was wrong…

“He’s… fine. Yeah, I think the sedative’s working…”

“That’s great…Well, I better be leaving…” he said, grabbing his jacket off of the chair. “I’m gonna see Anya so I don’t wanna be late.”

“Oh, so you’re callingceasefire?” Buffy asked, smiling at him.

“Well… you know… it’s complicated,” he said.

“Yeah, I know.” She hugged him. “Sorry about yesterday, Xander.”

“No problem,” he replied, smiling at her. “You know you can use me as punching bag when you’re hurt.”

*

“Buffy, what happened?” Giles asked her in the training room while he cleaned a weapon.

“What?”

“Your face… what happened?”

“I told you. A vampire…”

“I know it wasn’t a vampire. Or at least a normal one…” He looked at her strangely. “Was it Spike?”

She looked away and tried to explain. “Something… something went wrong…” she said, raising her head.

“What?” he exclaimed.

“We were… hummm… talking… and he… I don’t know… he became angry… he punched me… and left me unconscious… and then he left,” she said, trying to explain.

“That son of a…” Giles replied, walking towards the door. She stopped him.

“Giles! It wasn’t his fault. You know that!”

“But why didn’t he help you? He left you unconscious and then he left? He doesn’t…”

“He probably thought it was too dangerous! He probably thought it would be dangerous for me, and…” She stopped talking to think a bit… a premonition… and something… something else was rising her mind… something important… something she had read…where…? “Oh shit…” she suddenly said.

Buffy walked out of the training room.

“Willow! Need you here! It’s important!” she called to the red one, approaching the table full of books. The witch walked downstairs.

“What is it, Buffy?” Willow asked. Giles appeared too.

“Something big is gonna happen… something important… something that I feel I want to stop…”

Giles and Willow looked confused. Suddenly, Dawn entered to the Magic Box.

“Dawn! Great, you can help too. Help Giles to look for information about the sedative we tried with Spike: the consequences and effects… why wasn’t it tested with vampires… everything. Willow:” -the witch looked at her- “I have to talk to you. Come with me.”

Giles and Dawn sat down at the table and started looking for information. Buffy and Willow went to the training room to talk.

“What is it, Buffy?” Willow asked, worried.

“Willow… a couple days ago… I had a dream… or something like that…” She looked at her. “Remember those premonitions I use to have… or, I mean, that I still have?” she asked.

“Yeah… did you have a premonition about Spike, or something like that?”

“Well yeah… not exactly… I mean…”

Willow looked at her.

“Calm down, Buffy. He will be okay…”

“That’s why I’m worried, Will. He won’t…”

“What do you mean?” Willow asked.

“I think I read somewhere, something important… about the sedative… but I can’t remember,”she said, thinking. “Ok… but the important thing now is the premonition. Maybe it’s a clue or something…”

“Well, tell me, what was it about?”

“I think… well, you were in it, and…”

“I was? Oh…” she smiled “this has to be good…”

“And… I told you I felt something for Spike… and you replied: ‘The Heart has reasons that the mind ignores.’”

“Oh… hummmm… I did?” Willow asked, a bit concerned now.

“Yeah… oh my God” she suddenly said, realizing something. “Will… what if… what if I have to help him?”

“Well, isn’t that what you have been doing until now?”

“No Will, what if his life depends on me? What if…”

*

*

It was the only way… he couldn’t live like this… this feeling inside was piercing him… it had to end… and he knew how.

He walked outside and made his way to Buffy’s house…

*

*

“What if he tried something…?”

“Buffy? I think you were right…” Giles suddenly called out. Willow and Buffy walked towards him. “Look at this,” he said. “The powerful sedative, never tested in vampires or any other demon, can calm the inner beast and its senses.” He continued reading. “However, there are some precautions that must be taken…”

“I knew it,” Buffy replied.

“And… oh…” he said, reading carefully.

“What? Giles tell me!” Buffy said, very nervous.

He continued reading. “The sedative can have very bad effects: from causing anger and waking up the demon inside to cases as depression, guilt, sadness and madness that can lead the person to…” he stopped, looking ahead.

“To what??” Buffy asked.

He stared at the floor…

“Suicide”.

*

*

He climbed into her window. He remembered Buffy’s words: “If you drink more of the necessary you could have some kind of attack and enter into a coma.”

He entered the room and smelled her essence. It was in the air… everywhere. He sat on her bed, and picked Mr. Gordo. He looked at the stuffed bear carefully.

“You think I don’t deserve her either, right?” he asked the black and white bear. “All the pain I caused… all the pain I caused her…” Two tears rolled over his cheeks as he left the bear on the bed and stood up.

*

Buffy ran like hell from the Magic Box. She arrived at Spike’s crypt… the door was open.

“Spike??” she called, but nobody answer. As she entered she realized that there were many bottles of whisky on the floor. Some of them were broken, as if someone had smashed them against the wall. She turned around and left, running towards her own house.

*

The pink bottle was on her desk. He found a cross next to it and picked that up. He closed his fist around it. Some smoke start coming from his hand. It hurt, but not as much as he hurt inside. He suddenly dropped the cross.

“No… I can’t do this… she loves me…” he said, looking around to leave.

“No she doesn’t… she’s just using you… like she always did… she would never do anything for you…”

He looked at the bottle and took it.

*

Buffy arrived to Revello Drive. She was very tired, but she wouldn’t stop. She entered to the garden, yelling his name.

“Spike!”

*

Spike opened the bottle and stared at the liquid inside. He brought it to his lips.

*

Buffy entered to the house and walked upstairs.

*

*

He drank the contents at the same time Buffy walked into the room.

“SPIKE!!”

He fell on his knees.

“Oh God” She ran towards him and kneeled, catching his falling body in her arms. “Spike… why?” she asked, crying.

“Because… I don’t deserve you…Buffy…” he said The sedative made its effect known. And with his last breath, he told her: “I love you.”

TBC.

Author: Valeria (valepuiguy@yahoo.com <mailto:valepuiguy@yahoo.com>)

~You don't need to bother;

"Just love me... ch 6/?"

Author: Valeria (valepuiguy@yahoo.com <mailto:valepuiguy@yahoo.com>)

~You don't need to bother;