LIVING FOR THE DAY

Chapter 9

They got Spike into the house and laid him on the couch gently.

Zaaron went to the phone and dialed Faiths cell number.

"We got him. We're back at the house. He's not in good shape." Zaaron said as soon as Faith answered. "Any luck finding Buffy?"

"He was unconciuos when we found him." Zaaron replied.

"Keep us posted." Zaaron said hanging up the phone.

He came back over and sat beside Xander as they held vigil over Spike.

"They haven't found her?" Xander asked quietly.

"No. They're going to keep looking." Zaaron replied.

"BUFFY." Spike yelled as he sat up and held his head, wincing in pain.

"Spike." Xander said gripping Spike by the shoulders.

Spike looked up through pain filled eyes to see Xander and Zaaron right beside him.

Spike gasped as his eyes rolled back in his head. He threw his head back as he screamed her name again.

"Spike." Zaaron said trying to get Spike to focus.

Spike continued to scream her name as he fought to get away from them.

Zaaron and Xander grabbed him and pinned him to the couch.

"What the hell is happening to him? You didn't go through this." Zaaron said worriedly.

"He remembers. He keeps saying her name." Xander said.

They looked down quickly when Spike stopped fighting them. He lapsed into unconciousness.

They sat up shakily as they watched.

"This can't be right?" Zaaron said. "You and Willow didn't go through pain like this."

"His memories must be leaving him. He's fighting like hell to get them back." Xander said guessing from what it was like for him. "Maybe they started leaving before he came here."

"Will Buffy go through this too?" Zaaron asked.

"Maybe." Xander said quietly.

"Maybe we shouldn't find her. We can always meet her again. Start over." Zaaron said.

Xander just kept looking at Spike wondering if Zaaron was right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"See if you can find anything that might help us find where she might have gone?" Giles said as he walked into the kitchen.

Half an hour later they came up empty handed.

They left the apartment and went back downstairs and outside. They stood on the side walk out front trying to decide where to go from there.

"Maybe we could check drug stores or something. She did call in sick." Faith suggested.

"There's four of them between here and downtown." Willow said.

"That's as good a place as any to start." Giles said as they started to follow Willow.

As they walked down the street Willow pointed out two.

"Okay, I'll run and check that one. Willow you check the other." Faith said.

"Rupert you keep going towards downtown to the other two and we'll catch up to you." Willow said as she and Faith turned and began running down the street in opposite directions.

Giles nodded as he continued on in the same direction they had been walking.

Faith caught up to Giles about ten minutes later.
"No luck I take it." Giles said.

"No. Nothing." Faith said as she looked back to see if Willow was coming.

"She'll be along. We all can't run like you remember." Giles said giving her a small smile.

"I guess I'm just used to running with Zaaron." Faith replied.

"I'll take the farthest one. You head to the one a couple blocks that way." Faith said as she turned and started jogging down the street.

Faith left the store when her phone rang.

"Any luck?" Faith asked after she saw who was calling. "You found him." Faith said. "No. But we're still looking. How bad was he?" Faith asked. "Okay. Yeah." Faith said as she put her phone in her pocket and tore off down the stret to find Giles and Willow.

Giles and Willow came out of the last store.

"Any other ideas?" Willow asked.

"None." Giles replied.

They turned and started walking back the way they came.

"GILES, WILLOW." Faith yelled as she ran toward them. "They found Spike. He's at the house but he's pretty bad off." Faith said quickly.

"They found him. Oh thank god." Willow said.

"Does he remember everything?" Giles asked.

"He's been unconcious since they found him." Faith replied.

"Giles?"

They all turned to see Buffy standing on the corner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy had called and asked Sherry to take her classes today. Her headache from the other night was still going strong.

But by early afternoon it had died down enough for her to be feeling alot better.

She decided since she had already taken the day off, she was going to go do what she had planned on for awhile, just never seemed to find the time to do.

She grabbed her jacket and purse and locked the door behind her when she left.

She walked downtown and as she walked by Joes her head throbbed a little more. But when she had gone a few blocks it disappeared.

She rounded the corner and went down a few doors into the hair salon.

"Can I help you?" The receptionist asked.

"I'd like to get my hair done. Do I need an appointment?" Buffy asked.

"No. We had a couple cancellations today so we can squeeze you in. Do you already know what you want done?" She asked.

"Yeah. Brown hairs got to go. And long layers would be great." Buffy said enthusiastic.

"Okay." The receptionist chuckled." Do you know what color you want?"

"Blonde." Buffy said raising her eyebrows.

"Okay, here. Pick a shade." The receptionist said as she handed Buffy a book to view.

"Buffy flipped through the pages until she found one she liked.

"This one." Buffy said handing back the book.

"Good choice. This will look great with your coloring. Come on. Let's get you seated shall we." She said bringing Buffy around and seating her in the chair while she went over and got a stylist.

"So you want to walk out of here a new woman." An older woman said coming over to her and smiling warmly.

"That's the idea." Buffy said smiling back.

"Don't worry honey. You're in very experienced hands. I got you." She said as she turned and started preparing her station with the supplies she would need for this job.

"I got you." Buffy mumbled to herself as she frowned slightly. She closed her eyes as an image came to her.

"You ready to start?" They stylist said interupting Buffy's train of thought.

"Huh.....oh yeah. Ready." Buffy said putting on a plastic smile as her headache increased slightly.

An hour and a half later Buffy looked in the mirror smiling.

Her hair was cut in long layers going halfway down her back and it cascaded over her shoulders, looking like it had been kissed by the sun.

"I love it. Thank you." Buffy said as she got up from the chair and went to the cash register.

"Have a good day hun." The stylist said as she went to the next client.

Buffy paid the receptionist and left a tip for the stylist then turned and walked out the door.

Buffy started walking to the corner and and stumbled slightly when she saw a girl running down the street she was heading too.

"GILES, WILLOW." Faith yelled as she ran toward them.

Buffy grabbed her head as she leaned against the wall, pulling herself along.

"They found Spike. He's at the house but he's pretty bad off." Faith said quickly.

Buffy gasped and she as she squeezed her eyes shut, opening slowly, squinting as she kept going to the corner.

"They found him. Oh thank god." Willow said.

"Does he remember everything?" Giles asked.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she made it to the corner and leaned against the building supporting herself.

"He's been unconcious since they found him." Faith replied.

"Giles?" Buffy said weakly as she looked at him through blurred vision.

They all turned to see Buffy standing on the corner.

"Will?" Buffy asked as she took a step closer.

"Buffy." Giles said as he ran over to her.

"I...........can't.........." Buffy cried in agony as the pain became stronger.

"Buffy." Willow said as she and Faith followed Giles.

Buffy fell into Giles arms when the pain became unbearable and fainted.

Faith grabbed her phone and dialed.

"We got her. Come and pick us up. Down town corner of Stanley and Jackson. Hurry." Faith said before putting her phone away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zaaron got up and answered the phone still keeping his eyes on Spike.

"Yeah. Where? Be there in five." Zaaron said as he hung up.

"They found her. You go and pick them up. I'll be able to handle him a little better than you." Zaaron said.

"He's human now. I can take care him." Xander said.

"No. He's not." Zaaron replied.

"What do you mean?" Xander asked.

"He's strong. It took everything I had to hold him down. If he was at full potential, I couldn't have done it. He's different. Now go. They're waiting. "Corner of Stanley and Jackson." Zaaron said as he turned back his full attention to Spike.

Xander nodded and grabbed the keys and took off.

"What are you?" Zaaron said as he stared at Spike.

Spike gasped and took in a deep lungfulls of air as Zaaron gripped his shoulders to hold him down.

"Spike." Zaaron said.

Spike opened his eyes and looked at Zaaron as he continued to breath deeply.

Zaaron gasped when Spikes eyes were completely white.

"You're darkness." Spike ground out as he effortlessly grabbed Zaaron and threw him across the room, still laying down on the couch.

Spike slowly got up, tilting his head slightly as he walked toward Zaaron.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They all climbed into the car and started driving. Faith and Willow were in the back holding Buffy, they had her laying across their laps when she started convulcing and breathing deeply. Buffy kicked her feet and the door to the car went flying off.

"Hold her." Giles yelled from the front seat.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing." Faith said not able to contain her.

"We're almost there." Xander said as he rounded the corner to their street.

Buffy easily shook off Faiths hands as her arms came up and hit the other door, leaving it laying on the road as they drove faster.

Buffys fist came up and smashed the back window as they pulled into the driveway.

Giles and Xander got out and they converged on the Faiths side since Buffy's upper body was on that side.

Giles, Faith and Xander wresled Buffy out of the car. It wasn't too hard considering Buffy actually wanted out.

Once outside the car however, controlling her wasn't an option.

"Faith, hold her down so we can get her into the house." Giles said.

Faith moved towards Buffy quickly.

"No." Buffy said quietly crouched on the ground.

Faith was pushed back by invisible forces.

"What the hell." Faith said as she struggled to regain her balance.

Giles, Xander and Willow moved in on her at the same time, but met with the same fate.

They all stumbled back, but remained on thier feet.

Buffy raised herself from the ground and lifted her head slowly looking straight ahead of her to the house, then she smiled.

They all gasped when when they saw Buffy's eyes which were now pure white.

They watched her wearily for a moment before turning their eyes to where she was looking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Darkness has been abolished, yet you remain." Spike said curiously as he straightened his head then tilted it to the other side while scrutinizing Zaaron. "Why were you not destroyed?"

Zaaron started to rise.

"No. Remain where you are." Spike said.

Zaaron was shoved back down to the floor just by Spike's will alone.

Spike took another step forward coming closer to Zaaron.

"You taint the air." Spike said "Bring death and decay."

Zaaron just watched as Spike took another confident step towards him.

Spike stood there watching Zaaron for several minutes, analyzing him. Spike looked at him, like he was seeing right through him.

After four minutes of intense scrutiny Zaaron moved to stand.

Zaaron knew Spike permitted him to stand when he was able to get to his feet. Zaaron took a cautious step forward, keeping his eyes riveted on Spike.

"You may come closer." Spike said.

Zaaron was pulled several feet across the floor until he was standing in front of Spike.

Spike looked at Zaaron for a moment, than as if hearing something looked toward the front door.

"She's come." Spike said then turned back to look at Zaaron.

"What are you?" Zaaron asked.

"The one who's going to destroy you." Spike said tilting his head to the side.

Spike turned his back to the door.

Zaaron brought his hand back in a fist.

"No." Spike whispered still watching the door.

Zaaron went flying across the room, leaving a dent in the wall before landing on the floor. Zaaron went to stand up but was held down.

"No. You will remain." Spike said as his body turned to face the direction he was looking.

"She's here." Spike said as he walked toward the front door, the door disappeared when Spike was about to walk into it, leaving a wide open doorway.

Spike stepped outside onto the veranda and watched as a car pulled into the driveway.

He watched as three little people pulled her from the car.

Spike tilted his head as he watched them try to touch her.

He saw them be held back, then watched her intently.

He watched as she raised herself from the ground and lifted her head slowly looking straight ahead of her to the house, to him.

"Come." Spike said quietly.

Bufy moved across the lawn and walked up the steps to stand by his side.

Spike grabbed her hand and led her into the house.

Faith realized they were able to move now and ran to the house, Giles, Xander and Willow quickly followed.

Buffy looked around the house as she entered the livingroom.

Her eyes landed on Zaaron, tilting her head slightly she moved closer.

"You have a tainted." Buffy said to Spike but still looking at Zaaron.

"Yes." Spike replied bringing her closer to Zaaron.

They paid no attention to Giles, Willow and Xander as they ran into the house.

"You have a tainted as well." Spike said as he turned to face Faith.

"Faith, get out." Zaaron said as he tried to stand but couldn't.

"No. She will stay." Spike said as Faith was thrown across the room to where Zaaron lay imobalized.

Faith tried to get to her feet but wasn't able to.

"What the hell are you?" Giles spit out as he tried to move to Zaaron and Faith.

"Stay where you are." Buffy said as Giles was pushed back into a chair.

"What the hell are you?" Xander asked again angrily.

"You ask the wrong questions." Spike said tilting his head as he looked at them.

"What is your purpose here? With them?" Giles asked as he looked at Faith and Zaaron.

"They are tainted." Buffy replied as she looked around at them.

When she said nothing further Xander looked at her.

"And?" Xander asked.

Buffy just looked at them quizzically.

"What are you going to do with them?" Giles asked rephrasing the question.

"They are.......

"Tainted, ya we got that part." Xander said as he finished Buffy's sentence. "What is your job desciption?"

"We have to remove the tainted ones. They will be destroyed." Spike said as he moved towards Zaaron and Faith.

"Willow. What the hell are they?" Giles asked.

"I don't know. I don't remember anything about this." Willow said as she watched Spike advance on Faith and Zaaron.

"You can't do this Spike. Not to them. They don't deserve to die." Willow said.

Spike turned and faced Willow.

"It has to be destroyed. The dark will spread again if it remains." Spike replied.

"Stop calling them IT. Dammit, you know them. You fought beside them. You were like him." Xander yelled.

Spike stopped and walked over to Xander.

"Why do you want the darkness to survive? You fought to rid the earth of it. Gave up your life for it." Spike said.

"They're not evil. They're good Spike. Like what you had become." Xander said.

"Where there is darkness, there can be growth. The earth can be under the cloak of darkness, the stench of rot and decay again. It only takes one to destroy everything." Spike replied.

"But.......
"No more." Spike said as he moved back to Zaaron and Faith.

Giles, Willow and Xander no longer had the power of speech as they had to sit and watch as Spike and Buffy walked over to their friends.

Spike reached one hand down and picked Zaaron up as if he weighed no more than a feather and leaned him against the wall.

Spike layed his hand on Zaarons chest and waited for a moment before he pushed his hand through his chest.

Zaaron screamed in agony as Spike began to glow brightly.

The light that surrounded Spike invaded Zaarons body as he began to smoke.

"Noooooo." Faith cried as she watched smoke pouring from Zaarons body.

Spike continued until Zaaron was about to turn to ash then pulled his arm out as Buffy waived a hand over the body stopping it from becoming dust.

Spike moved as Buffy stood in his place. She put her hand in his chest where Spike had had his. She began to glow the same way Spike did. They watched transfixed as the glow seeped into every pore of Zaarons body, repairing the damage Spike had done.

A few minutes later Zaaron opened his eyes and gasped taking lungfuls of air. When his breathing slowed to normal, Buffy removed her hand and stepped back.

Zaaron fell to his hands and knees on the floor.

Zaaron raised his head and slowly looked up at Spike and Buffy.

Faith looked at him as tears fell down her cheeks.

Spike reached down and grabbed her and lifted her, pinning her to the wall.

Spike's hand went into her chest quickly.

Faith screamed as he face contorted in pain, As she was blinded by the light Spike was emitting.

After a brief minute Spike removed his hand and Buffy placed her hand where his had been as she began to glow.

When Buffy was finished she removed her and and stepped back and went to Spike's side.

Faith fell to the floor but was caught by Zaaron before she hit.

"What did they do." Faith asked when her breath returned to normal.

Realizing they could now move, Xander and Willow, followed by Giles ran over to Faith and Zaaron.

"You knew of our arrival. It was written long ago." Spike said.

"What did you do to them?" Xander asked angrily.

"Removed the darkness." Zaaron said as he stood up helping Faith to her feet but looking towards Spike and Buffy.

"Yes." Buffy said as she looked at Zaaron.

"You no longer have it in you. You are now the same as they are."Spike said looking at everyone else.

"But Faith wasn't a demon." Willow said as she picked up the prophecy Giles had sitting on the desk.

"Yes. She was." Buffy replied.

"A slayer is made with a demons strength and abilities in order to do what she has too." Spike said.

"We removed that from her." Buffy said.

"So she's like us now." Xander said.

"No. We removed the dark strength and gave her the strength from the light." Buffy said.

"She is still a protector. But now she can choose what she fights for. They are no longer chosen for her. She is the earths protector." Spike said.

"But I thought there was nothing left to fight." Faith said.

"You mortals are always fighting over one thing or another. They will destroy this world that you fought so hard to save." Spike said.

"They'll come to their senses. The earth is going to be around a long time." Xander said.

"No. It won't. It was foreseen long ago. You won't be here to see it happen. But your descendent's will." Buffy replied.

Spike and Buffy stood there for a minute before they turned and started walking to the door.

"Where are you going?" Giles asked.

"There are more out there. Not many. But a few survived." Buffy said.

Spike grabbed her hand and guided her to the door.

"You're the Keepers of the Light." Willow said looking up from the scroll in her hand.

Buffy and Spike turned around and looked at Willow.

"Yes." Spike said.

"But I thought we were coming back to have what we were fighting for." Willow said.

"Yes." Spike said again.

"How come you're doing this?" Willow asked as her eyes filled with unshed tears.

Buffy came over and stood in front of Willow. "Why do you cry?" Buffy asked as she tilted her head to the side.

Spike came over and stood beside her and put his hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"Because you should be here, with us." Willow said.

Spike brought his hand up and let his fingers lightly touch Willow's temple for a brief moment, before he dropped his hand and turned to Buffy.

Buffy and Spike just smiled as they turned around and walked through the door, disappearing as if they never came.

Giles grabbed the prophecy from Willow and read it again.

"The warriors will find solace in city for Angels. There they will live out there lives, basking in the glow and safety of the Keepers of the Light. The Keepers of the Light will finish what the band of Warriors started. Then they will return and rest in the city for Angels." Giles said as he looked back to the empty doorway.

"When we destroyed the hell mouths some must have survived. Trapped above not able to go below. But still in hiding. That's what they're doing, ridding the world of the last of the demons." Willow said.

"So they don't get to have the life they wanted. Like we're getting." Xander said as he lowered his head.

"Yes, they will." Willow said smiling.

"But they're still doing it Will." Faith replied.

"They showed me." Willow said as she looked around.

Spike reached out and let his finger graze her temple.

Images flashed through her mind. She saw everything. From Williams birth and his death leading to the birth of Spike and all he had done in his years of existence. Buffy's birth and deaths, her time in the after life before, her time in the after life again. Her life.

Spike's fight from darkness to regain his soul, redemption. Buffy's unwavering belief in him.

This had been their destiny all along.

Spike who was once darkness was now a Keeper of the Light. As was Buffy. On different sides of the coin. Spike was able to see it, the darkness, the tainted and abolish it, Buffy repaired the damage Spike inflicted to a worthy few, allowing them to live.

In what was only a brief second, Willow saw everything as she blinked her eyes when Spike and Buffy stepped back and smiled as they turned away.

"When it's done, they'll be back." Willow said.

"Why them? Why not someone else? Why couldn't they do it themselves." Xander said slightly angry.

"You remember what Buffy said along time ago. She would fight until she got to have her day in the sun. She hasn't stopped, she won't until it's finished. Spike would not have come here with out her. He will fight and die and eventually live by her side." Willow said quietly.

"What will they be? When it's over I mean." Xander asked.

Willow just smiled as she turned and stood in front of Giles.

"It's been a long day." Willow said.

Giles just hugged her to his chest gently.

"Do you know when they'll be back?" Giles asked.

"No. They never told me." Willow replied quietly.

"There's really nothing else we can do but wait and see how this plays out. I for one am burnt out." Faith said.

"Yeah, I have to agree with Faith on both counts." Zaaron said as he stood wearily on his feet.

"I'm feeling the same way." Xander said as he rubbed his eyes exhaustedly.

Faith and Zaaron showed Xander to what would be his room and embraced him again before going to theirs and falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

Giles led Willow to his room, which would now become their room.

They climbed on the bed and he just held onto her for dear life as they fell asleep quickly, exhausted by all the events that happened in such a short space of time.

Within a few days Xander and Willow had moved into the house completely and started living their lives with renewed energy, looking forward to what the next day would bring them.

Bringing their family back together........almost. There were still two missing from the group. It was just a matter of time before they would all be together again.

They treasured each day like the gift it was, taking nothing for granted.

After some time to settle into their new lives again, they slowly returned to their normal routines they had made themselves over the past year.

They had returned to the respective jobs with more energy than before, knowing what they would return home...... to each other.

It had been only a few days since Spike and Buffy had left and they weren't sure when they were coming back.

They wake every morning with the hope that today would be the day their friends would return to where they belonged. With them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy stood back with her head tilted to the side as she listened to a demon wailing in excruciating pain while Spike has his hand buried in his chest burning him alive from the inside out.

"This one?" Spike asked as the demon was seconds from death.

"No. He is not like them. Death becomes him." Buffy stated as she stayed where she was and Spike continued until the demon became ash and landed on the floor of the cave by Spike's feet.

Spike stepped back and took Buffy's hand.

Buffy looked up to meet his eyes as they smiled and started walking until they disappeared slowly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow and Xander sat on the sofa together looking through the photos they had taken over the years.

They looked at the pictures they had taken every time they had gotten together before and after the closing of a hell mouth.

They looked at all the scars they had carried on their bodies, remembering how each one was gotten.

Looking at them now, you would never have know they had had any scars. When they came back, the scars were removed along with the memories. Unlike the memories, the scars never came back.

"She was so sad." Willow said quietly as she looked at the last group shot taken of them all before they went into the last battle.

"We all were Willow." Xander said.

"Yes. But for her it was different. She knew who was going to make it and who wasn't. She was carrying that around and had to hide it whenever she looked at any of us." Willow said.

"I thought Buffy and Spike were going to be the survivors." Faith said pushing herself off the doorway and coming in to join them. "I didn't think I was going to be one of them."

Willow and Xander stayed silent letting Faith talk.

"It was hard. So hard to go on after............" Faith stopped taking a breath before continuing. "We clung to each other something fierce. We couldn't let each other go from sight for fear something might happen to them. We slept in the same bed for almost a year. We were scared to go outside, we would keep hold up in our room all the time only going out when we had to and never alone." Faith said running her fingers through her hair. "We would get these panic attacks you know, if we couldn't see each other, even if we went to far from the hotel and couldn't get back fast enough. If we saw someone who reminded us of any of you we would breakdown. We couldn't even say any of your names after that day. Then it started getting better, we started venturing out and working. We still, even now know where each other is at all times. I still call Giles when he's at work and he calls me. I think it'll be a little while yet before we're able to stop doing that. But with you guys back, I think it'll be easier. I'm so glad you're back." Faith said as the tears fell.

"You knew I was going to ask didn't you?" Willow asked.

Faith nodded. "I would've been curious as to how you were if it was me and how you were after. I'm surprised it took you this long."

"There's more isn't there?" Xander asked.

"Some. Save it for another day." Faith said getting up. "I have to go to work." Faith said moving to the kitchen.

"Giles, I'm out." Faith said as she saw Giles putting the kettle on the stove.

"Alright, I'll see you later Faith." Giles said nodding his head.

Faith walked through the kitchen and out the back door, closing it quietly behind her.

Giles came into the living room carrying a tray with a tea pot and cups, setting it on the coffee table before sitting beside Willow on the sofa.

"Where's Zaaron?" Giles asked as he poured her a cup of tea.

"He's upstairs I think." Willow said watching him.

"Actually I was upstairs." Zaaron said as he came to the bottom of the steps. "I have to go to the centre, I'm scheduled for today." Zaaron said as he moved towards the closet and grabbed his jacket.

Before he just wore his jacket out of habit, but now he actually needed to wear it to ward off the chill he felt when he was outside. Since Spike and Buffy had rid him of his demon and returned him back to a human there was a great number of things he had to become accustomed to that were everyday normal things to a human. Just going to the bathroom was a learning experience, one he was glad only Faith had witnessed.

Constantly forgetting to eat anything until the pains in his stomach reminded him.

"Actually, I have to go to work too." Xander said getting up off the sofa.

"I'll give you lift." Zaaron said as he grabbed his keys from the shelf in the hallway.

"Great." Xander said shrugging on his jacket.

"You'll be at the centre for the day then?" Giles asked as he looked over to Zaaron.

"Until three, then I'll be at the dojo with Faith." Zaaron answered.

"You have your phone?" Giles asked again.

"Yeah, Faith has hers too." Zaaron said as he moved towards the door.

"I'll see you at three." Giles said as he went back to pouring tea.

Zaaron nodded as he opened the door and walked through with Xander behind him, closing the door.

Willow sat quietly as she witnessed the interaction between Zaaron and Giles. Obviously this was part of the routine Faith had been telling her about.

"Are you going to the dojo today?" Willow asked quietly.

"It's Saturday. I always go on Saturday." Giles replied looking at her slightly confused as to why she was asking him that question.

Willow just nodded and sipped her tea after he handed her her cup.

"You could stay here with me." Willow said quietly and slowly.

Giles got up abruptly and walked around the table and picked up the tray and shakily carried it out to the kitchen.

Willow followed him after a minute to see him cleaning the pot and putting it on the dish drainer.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Willow said placing her hand on his arm.

Giles stepped back from her touch and crossed to the other side of the kitchen.

Willow's eyes followed him with hurt and confusion.

"T -t-this is what we do. I h-have to be there." Giles said quietly, stuttering slightly.

"No it's okay. It's fine." Willow said trying to calm him down.

Giles just nodded as he calmed down a little, crossing his arms over his chest and rubbing them as if he was cold.

"Rupert, would you like me to stay here or come with you?" Willow asked stepping closer.

Giles just looked at her not sure how to answer.

"I'll stay here if you want. I understand. Do you want me to stay here?" Willow asked as if speaking to a child.

Giles just nodded and Willows heart fell, but she placed a smile on her lips and nodded in agreement.

"Okay, I'll stay here and see you all when you get back." Willow said cheerfully trying to hide the hurt she was feeling.

Giles closed his eyes as his heart began to go back to normal.

"Maybe you should come." Giles said quietly.

"It's okay. I have a few things I have to do." Willow said placing a kiss to his temple.

Giles snaked an arm around her waist and held her close when she started to pull back.

"I'm sorry." Giles replied as his voice faltered slightly.

"For what?" Willow asked as she held him close, running her fingers through his hair.

"For letting you die." Giles replied as the tears streamed down his face.

"You didn't let me die Rupert. I died because I was meant too. Nobody could have changed that." Willow said pulling back enough for their eyes to meet. "I'm here now, like I was meant to be. With you." Willow added quietly.

"When I saw the school crumble, burying you beneath the rubble. I was still there, with you. Part of me died and was buried with you. Another part died when I stood there and watched Buffy take her last breath. And yet another part when I saw Spike fall to ash." Giles said not looking at Willow, but over her shoulder as the memories poured over him, reliving the day as if it was happening right then. "Since then, I've just existed. I haven't really lived.........or really wanted too. I kept going because I knew it was what you......and Buffy would have wanted. But without you........it meant nothing to me. Zaaron, Faith and myself...we've just been existing. Until now." Giles said as the tears rolled down his cheeks. "I don't know what to do." Giles said shakily.

"You're right. It is what I wanted...for you to go on. We all fought so damn hard for this. We gave our lives willingly.....just so we could see that day in the sun. It'll come soon. When we're all together again, when Buffy and Spike walk in the door..that will be the day we've been waiting almost nine years for. That's when we'll really start to live again." Willow replied quietly. "When it's time and you're ready...you'll know what to do."

Giles just leaned into her and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm afraid if I get too close......I'll loose you again. I couldn't survive it again."

"I'm never leaving you baby. You've got me....forever." Willow whispered in his ear.

Giles held her tighter. Holding her in his arms seemed so foreign that it frightened him. But he was more afraid of letting her go. That if he did, she would disappear, never to see her again.

"You have to go. Faith is waiting for you." Willow said quietly as she broke the embrace.

Giles waited a moment before nodding his head and walking out of the kitchen.

Buffy stood behind Spike as they both lowered their hands as they watched part of the mountain side collapse and sink into the ground, filling in the opening that laid beneath the surface.

They stood there until the last rock fell to the earth, closing the door to the world below.

Spike turned to face Buffy, grasping her hands in his.

"Is our task completed?" Buffy asked as she looked at him tilting her head to the side slightly.

"The decay and stench of the dark. I can still feel it. Smell it." Spike said as he brought his hand up to cup Buffy's cheek. "We will be here only a short time."

"Where are we to go?" Buffy replied looking up to Spike.

"Tonight....we will take a short rest." Spike said as he turned and guided her to the edge of the cliff.

"We are going to rest here?" Buffy asked as she stood beside Spike watching as the sunset over the horizon.

Spike lowered himself to the ground, bringing Buffy down to sit beside him.

"It has been an eternity since we have watched the sun fall and rise." Spike replied as he held her close to him.

"An eternity since I've been able to hold you.....feel you....see you." Spike said as he turned to look at Buffy, watching the fading suns rays dance across her skin.

"They have promised when our job is complete, we can return to the life we once had. The life we gave up to do their bidding." Buffy replied as she leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder.

"They will keep their word. We will be as we once were, as we wish to be again." Spike replied.

"That day will be soon in coming. Then we will touch the earth and feel it's harshness below our feet. The frigid cold on our skin. The roughness as we take our first breath of air. It will be our time to rest. Our time to live." Buffy said as she turned her head to look ito his eyes.

"Yes.....our time." Spike replied then dipped his head to capture Buffy's lips in a slow languid kiss. "Soon." Spike whispered when he broke the kiss.

"We could be together now. This night." Buffy replied quietly.

"No. It would not be right. These are not our bodies." Spike replied.

"But they are together. They meld bodies." Buffy replied. "I see her thoughts and memories. I can hear her...here." Buffy said as she brought her hand up to her temple. "And I can feel her here." She added moving her hand to her heart.

"As can I. I can see his thoughts and feelings. They may meld their bodies, I know they would allow us to do this. But when we meld, for the first time since we became what we are. I want it to be you. Your form. Not one we've borrowed." Spike said as he ran his finger tips slowly down her face.

"When we're born again." Buffy said quietly as she leaned into his arms and looked off into the distance as the sun dipped below the mountains.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander finished cleaning the bar then closed up for the night.

Once he locked the door he turned and headed home.

"Home." Xander said to himself, shaking his head slightly.

It had been several months since he had been reunited with everyone and had moved into the house, but it still felt strange. He had all his memories and his relationships with everyone had resumed where they had left off, but it seemed strange for him to be there. There was no where else he wanted to be, but it still felt strange. He and Sally had been openly flirting before he regained his memory. But since, remembering Anya, he couldn't bring himself to pursue anything with Sally. He wouldn't be able to share any of his past with her, it would be like living a lie.

He walked through the door quielty, locking it behind him as he made his way to his room, collapsing on his bed, stopping only long enough to kick off his shoes.

"Xander." Willow said quietly as she tapped lightly on his door.

"Hey Will." Xander replied as he sat up.

"Are you really tired?" WIllow asked.

"Yeah, but I could sit up long enough for a cup of cocoa." Xander said smiling.

"Okay.'' Willow said smiling as Xander got up and followed her down to the kitchen.

Willow put the water on to boil while Xander got the mugs ready.

"So what's up?" Xander asked as they sat at the table.

"Do you feel like you belong here?" Willow asked.

"Cutting to the chase I see." Xander replied. "To be honest, I feel like I'm intruding. They had to move on after we............and they did and that's good. That's what they were supposed to do. But when I'm here, I feel like I shouldn't be, that I'm intruding in their lives." Xander replied.

"So do I." Willow said.

"Sometimes...... I think...maybe .. it would have been better if I hadn't chosen to come back, or they hadn't found me. Then the past, all of it would be gone and I wouldn't have to sit and think about it. Not that I don't love you Will. You know I love more than anyone. Sometimes I think it would have been better that way." Xander replied.

"I know, I've been feeling the same way." Willow replied. "Rupert, he's so different now. I mean he's the same, but different.........towards me. He hasn't done more than kiss or hug me since we reunited. Sometimes when he looks at me, just the look on his face, it's like he's not sure what to do with me." Willow said quietly.

"Maybe we're expecting too much too soon. They've bee through alot. Maybe it's just going to take longer for it too feel right. They may be feeling the same way we are." Xander replied.

"I suppose you're right." Willow replied. "Us being dead, then we're not. Could take some getting used to."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. I just wish...."Xander said quietly not finishing his thought aloud.

"Me too." Willow said just above a whisper.

"I have something I wanted to give you. I was out doing some shopping the other day. Saw it, remembered how much you liked him when we were growing up." Xander said as he got up from his chair and headed to the hall closet. "I was going to give it to you later, you know as a gift , but I think maybe you could use it now." Xander said as he pulled out a shopping bag from the shelf in the closet and handed it to Willow.

Willow smiled when she opened the bag.

"John Cusack. Thye're all John Cusack movies." Willow said as she looked at the stack of movies in the bag.

"Well I remembered you had all of his movies back in Sunnydale. I know it's not all of them, but it'll give you a start. They're even all on dvd rather that tapes." Xander said with a hopeful smile.

"This is perfect. Come on you have to watch one with me." Willow said as she grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the sofa and had him sit down.

"Oooh.....snacks." Xander said jumping back up and running into the kitchen.

"Some things never change." Willow mumbled to herself, still smiling as she put the movie on.

A few minutes later Xander and Willow were cuddled up together watching a movie and munching on a bowl of popcorn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles came down stairs when he awoke to find the other side of the bed empty. When his eyes landed on Willow and Xander sleeping on the sofa, embracing each other, his heart sunk in to the pit of his stomach.

He knew they were close and always would be, but too see them like this made him feel like he was intruding, in their way. He felt like he was stoping them from being together. Giles watched for a few minutes longer before slowly turning and walking back up to his room quietly and spending the rest of the night in a restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willows eyes opened sluggishly to see Giles walking back up the stairs slowly. When Giles had disappeared upstairs out of her line of vision, her eyes stayed on the stairs for a couple of minutes before tuning slightly to look at Xander, who was outstretched beside her on the sofa, with his arms around her.

Willow lowered her head back to lay on Xanders chest,causing Xander to stir.

Xander opened his eyes and looked over to Willow after taking a minute to focus and remember where he was.

"You okay?" Xander asked as he ran his hand up her arm comfortingly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Willow said quietly. "Go back to sleep." Willow added quietly as she took a last look towards the stairs.

Xander had already drifted asllep before she finished her sentence, then closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep. The first sleep she's had in over a year where she felt content.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith sat on the stairs sipping a cup of coffee as she watched Willow and Xander sleeping, wrapped in each others arms.

Faiths brows drew together as her facail espression turned from concerned to stone when she watched Willow move and then their embrace tighten.

After about ten minutes, when Faith had finished her coffee, she stood up and went over to stand in front of the coffee table as she set her coffee mug down, landing on the table with a loud thud.

"So sleeping beauty arises. Morning to you to Will." Faith said as she looked at the pair as they sat up rubbing their sleep filled eyes.

Xander grimaced at Faith over her comparing hm to sleeping beauty.

"Faith, what time is it?" Willow asked still half asleep as she blinked her eyes adjusting to the light coming through the windows.

"Around ten." Faith replied as she watched them scrutinizingly. "Sleep well? Faith asked as they untangles themselves from each other.

Willow looked up at Faith as she started to get up from the sofa. Her brows scrunched as she looked at Faiths cold demeanor.

"Fine I guess." Willow replied as she started walking to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

"What are you doing?" Faith asked as she followed Willow into the kitchen.

"Getting a cup of coffee." Willow replied as she grabbed a mug from the cupboard and filled it with coffee.

"Don't be coy Will. It doesn't suit you. You and Xander, what's going on between the two of you?" Faith asked as she stood there stiffly waiting for an explanation.

Willow just looked at Faith and set her coffee down on the counter.

"Not what you're thinking. Not that I have to justify myself to you." Willow stated as she picked her coffee back up and headed upstairs.

"I won't stand by and let you hurt him Willow." Faith said as she watched Willow stop halfway up the stairs.

"Maybe it's not me that's hurting him." Willow said quietly as she resumed walking up the stairs.

"What are you talking about?" Faith asked as she came upstairs behind Willow.

"Where do I fit in around here?" Willow asked as she turned to face Faith.

"What do you mean where do you fit in? This is where you belong." Faith replied.

"Do I? Cause I'm not so sure anymore. It doesn't seem right. I feel like I shouldn't be here." Willow said as she and Faith went into her room and sat on the bed.

"Why? How long have you felt this way?" Faith asked.

"I don't know why. I just do. It's felt like this since almost the first day. I pushed aside as nevousness, you know seeing you all again after so long. Remembering everything. Thought that's all it was. But it's not going away." Willow replied.

"What about Giles?" Faith asked.

"I still feel the same way about him. I love him more than anything. But I don't think he wants me here." Willow said as she looked around at the room, that held nothing of her's but eveything of Giles.

"Giles loves you more than anything. There's no way that can be true." Faith replied.

"Maybe once he did. Maybe he still does, but not in the same way I think. He hugs me sometimes or holds my hand, but it never goes further than that. He doesn't include me in anything. None of you do. Me and Xander feel like maybe it would have been better if we hadn't been found in time." Willow replied.

"You honestly beleive that. That it would have been better if we never found you?" Faith asked as he face became unreadable.

"Maybe." Willow said nodding slightly.

Faith just stood up and walked to the doorway. "I have to go to work, I'll see you tonight." Faith said as she left the room, her voice void of any emotion.

Xander watched from his doorway as Faith left Willow's room.

Xnader had heard the conversation, although he felt the same way as Willow, he hadn't wanted to say anything. He wanted to wait and see if things would change. Now he was wondering what he was going to walk into when he got home from work tonight. He knew Faith would tell Zaaron and Giles what Willow had said, now it was a wait and see situation. Xander got up, went over and closed his door quietly. He went back to his bed to lay down and get a few more hours sleep before he had to be to work. Maybe everyone would be sleeping when he came in from work and he wouldn't have to deal with it. Even Willow, he's the same with her he always was, but it feels like it's wrong too somehow. Xander closed his eyes and rolled over, closing off his thoughts not wanting to think about them. Not wanting to think about anything.

Willow looked around the room she shared with Giles. Even though her stuff was brought over from her apartment, nothing was displayed that belonged to her. Her things were still in the boxes in the closet. She hadn't even unpacked them yet and Giles hadn't asked her too. Giles did have their wedding picture sitting on his nightstand as well as a group photo taken after the ceremony.

Although they all had smiles on their faces, she could see the sadness below the surface, clawing it's way to the forefront. Screaming for an ending, no matter what the end might entail.

A tear rolled down Willow's cheek as she remembered their last nights together in the cabin. Cramming a lifetime of memories into a few nights. Remembering Anya's death, Xanders death, Buffy's fatal blow and knowing she wouldn't make it. Remembering her own fatal wound before bringing down the Hellmouth around her.

Willow wiped the tears away as she stood up and packed her bags. She quickly and quietly loaded her car and drove in the direction of her old apartment. She never gave up the apartment when she moved into the house, something held her back from it, now she knew why. She wasn't meant to be there, at least not now, maybe not ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith knocked on Giles door which was open, she could see Giles sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall.

"Giles, you never came down for dinner. Is everything okay?" Faith asked with scrunched brows.

"She's gone." Was all Giles said as Faith noticed the piece of paper Giles was holding in his hand.

"Did she say where she went?" Faith asked.

"No. But she said I would know where she was." Giles replied.

"How would you know that?" Faith asked as she scrunched her brows.

"Because she said she went home. She went back to where she felt she belonged. Before we found her." Giles replied.

"She kept the apartment." Faith said quietly.

Giles just nodded. "It's my fault. I kept her at a distance because I was afraid. We all did. You, Zaaron and myself. We brought them here, we included them in our lives, but from a distance. Willow could feel it, Xander too." Giles replied.

Faith just looked away knowing he was right. They did keep them at arms length. Faith hadn't even realized that they had been doing that until now. They had kept to their routine, not varying it much since Willow and Xander had come back into their lives.

"I have to go out for awhile." Faith said as she turned from Giles, going downstairs and out the front door to her car.

Faith started the car and pulled out of the driveway, heading east, towards Willows apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Zaaron, what's up? What are you doing here?" Xander asked from behind the bar.

"I wanted to see what time you were done here?" Zaaron asked.

"I'm out early tonight, round nine. Why?" Xander replied.

"I just thought......" Zaaron said shaking his head slightly. "Before, it was always fighting demons and closing hellmouths, we never really had a chance to be normal. I haven't been human in a very long time. I'm not sure what normal is, I thought maybe you could help me with that." Zaaron said quietly.

"Why not Faith or Giles?" Xander asked.

"I would rather not ask Faith on what's normal. Giles, well...not that there's anything wrong with Giles, but ..... " Zaaron said smiling.

"Good point." Xander replied chuckling.

"Okay, what did you have in mind?" Xander asked.

Zaaron just smiled at Xander. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"No. Why?" Xander said smiling and slightly worried at what he'd just gotten himself into.

Zaaron didn't answer the question, just smiled as he got up from the bar. "I'll pick you up at nine." He said as he turned and walked out the door.

Xander started to chuckle when he realized what Zaaron had in mind. He was pretty glad he wasn't on the schedule for tomorrow, he was going to the day to recover. Zaaron wanted a boys night out. Xander smiled to himself at the fact that Zaaron came to him, wanting his help to figure out who he was.

Xander wasn't sure he could do that, he wasn't even sure who he was and what he wanted, let alone helping someone else find that. But he was willing to try, maybe helping Zaaron might help him find his way as well.

Xander walked to the back of the bar to the storage room with his hopes a little higher that this was all that was needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith stood outside Willow's building for quite awhile debating on going in. Her thoughts all over the place, straying constantly.

Faith stood up and looked at the building one last time before turning around and walking down the sidewalk, away from the building.

If this was going to work, it was going to have to be Giles that comes to Willow, not her, Faith thought as she walked down the street towards her dojo.

Xander and Zaaron, barely holding each other up, slowly staggered onto the porch just as the sun was about to rise.

On Zaarons third attempt at putting the key into the lock, the door flew open and an angry Faith stood on the other side, glaring at them.

Xander dropped his head and looked up through hooded eyes, waiting for the yelling to start. Zaaron just broke out into a broad grin and pulled her into his arms.

"You should be sleeping. What are you doing up?" Zaaron asked as he let her go.

Faith couldn't stay angry as a small grin escaped her lips.

"Waiting for your sorry ass to get home. I guess I don't need to ask if you had a good time." Faith replied.

"We had a great time. We played pool, danced, drank, got into a fight." Zaaron said smiling.

Faith just looked at them as she raised her eyebrows. "You got into a fight? With who?"

"Just some guys passing through town. They didn't know what no meant." Xander replied.

"Well get inside, I'll get the first aid kit." Faith said as she noticed the cuts and scrapes they had on the knuckles and faces.

Zaaron followed Faith through to the kitchen, falling into the chair at the table, Xander behind him by a few steps.

"You know you could have invited me along." Faith said shaking her head.

"Then it wouldn't have been a boys night out. It would just be a... night out." Xander replied smiling.

Faith finished cleaning them up and put away the kit, then joined them at the table.

"The sun just came up." Xander said as he looked out the window on the back door in the kitchen.

"I don't remember the last time I sat up all night to see the sunrise." Faith said as she looked out the window at the suns rays cresting over the tops of the trees.

"I remember. It was in L.A." Xander said quietly as he stood up. "I think I'm gonna go sleep it off." Xander said as he left the kitchen.

"I think you should get some sleep too." Faith said standing up and helping Zaaron to his feet.

Zaaron just nodded as he followed Faith upstairs to their room.

Xander laid on his bed and heard Faith and Zaaron pass by and quietly close their door. His eyes closed slowly as sleep started to come. Xander had hopes that the alcohol might stave off the nightmares that had been plaguing him since ragaining his memories. "One night of quiet is all I want." Xander mumbled to himself as he fell into a deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow stood in front of the mirror, naked, looking over every inch of her body for the scars that she should have, but weren't there. Her body looked like it did before all the fighting, before she met Buffy, when she was still young. She didn't even have any of the small scars that had happened in her childhood. It didn't seem right to not have the scars, she'd earned them, with every breath she took, including her last before falling beneath the earth. Giles still carried his scars. One night while he slept, Willow lightly traced the scars on his back and arms. He still kept his beard to cover the one on the side of his face.

Willow slowly put her clothes on and went to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. She was about to take her first sip when she heard a knock at her door.

Willow opened the door to reveal Xander standing in the doorway.

"Running away. That's not like you Will." Xander said quietly as she let him in.

"Not running away, taking a break." Willow corrected.

"Equals out to the same thing." Xander replied.

"Did you just come to give me grief?" Willow asked.

"No. You need to come back Willow." Xander said.

"No, I don't." Willow replied as she went back to the counter to retrieve her coffee.

"Giles isn't doing so good Will." Xander said.

"What happened? Is he hurt?" Willow asked as panic rose in her throat.

"Nothing like that." Xander replied as he sat down. "Faith told me this morning he hasn't left the bedroom since he found your note yesterday. He needs you Willow." Xander said.

Willow just closed her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"Didn't you hear me?" Xander asked.

"Yes, I heard you." Willow said just above a whisper.

"You're not coming back are you." Xander stated rather than asked.

"No Xand, I'm not." Willow replied.

"I thought you loved him Willow." Xander replied.

"I did.....I do. It's just............I need to be here now." Willow replied.

"Why?" Xander asked.

"Do you remember when we were in between, before coming back here and starting over?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, I do." Xander said as he lowered his head.

"You remember the choice you made, about wanting to remember, or starting clean with no memories of the past." Willow said.

Xander just nodded.

"What did you choose?" Willow asked already knowing the answer.

"It took a few days for all the memories to come back. So I didn't remember it right away." Xander said quietly.

"Same with me. I remembered the main parts about the time limit and that we had a choice, but I couldn't remember what the choice was. I remembered a few days later." Willow recalled.

"I chose not to remember." Xander replied.

"So did I." Willow replied.

"If you could, would you go back and change it. Make it so they didn't find you in time?" Xander asked.

"I think I would. What about you?" Willow asked.

"Maybe. I don't know." Xander replied shaking his head slightly.

"What are you gonna do?" Xander asked.

"Go back to the life I had started building before." Willow replied.

"What about Giles? Is there going to be any place for him in your life?" Xander asked.

"Giles is here, he always will be." Willow said placing her hand over her heart. "That's not what I need to figure out. I know how much I love him. What I need to figure out is who I am now, who he is, get to know each other again." Willow replied. "Then we'll just see if it's still right between us."

"You love each other too much for it not to be right." Xander said.

"Just because we love each other, doesn't make it right. Love's not enough sometimes." Willow replied.

"Sometimes, it's all you need." Xander said as he stood up.

"Just go see him. It doesn't mean you have to come back." Xander said as he headed for the door.

"It's not time yet." Willow said.

"It's not time............or is it you who's not ready?" Xander asked as he opened the door, then quietly closed it behind him as he left the apartment.

Willow sipped her coffee as the last words Xander said kept replaying over and over in her mind.

She didn't agree with Xander, it wasn't that she wasn't ready or scared, she knew in her heart it wasn't the right time. She would know when the time was right, she would feel it in her heart. She would take Xander's advice though. She would go talk to Giles, but not for a few days. Give him some time to think things through, think about what he needed, about what he really wants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the first few days after Willow had left, Faith managed to get Giles out of the bedroom and back to his classroom teaching again. Faith made sure to visit the school on lunch and have Giles come to the dojo after his classes were over for the day.

Over the next several months things had turned drastically.

Faith had started seeing less of Zaaron, he was either at the youth centre or out with Xander. Sometimes she didn't know where he was and he never told her.

When Faith asked Xander about it, he didn't know where he was either.

Xander told her not to worry, he was probably out on his motorcycle, driving around.

Faith wasn't sure, but she was worried. In all the years they had been together, he had never hid anything from her. Now it was like being with a stranger. It was still him, but she didn't know what he did with himself anymore. He never spent much time with her either.

Giles and Faith started spending most of their time together, like before, they started depending on each other.

Xander spent more time at work and Willows, then at the house. At times he wouldn't be there for days on end.

All Faith could do was stand by as she watched everything slowly fall apart. It had all started after they Found Willow and Xander, putting everything else into motion. What if it's falling down around them because they made it happen. What if it was supposed to happen differently. Would this have happened then. Would it happen at all.

Nothing was turning out the way they were promised. There didn't seem to be a happy ending in the near future that Faith could see.

Faith turned out the lights and headed up to her room, quietly closing the door behind her. Giles was already in his room, Xander wasn't coming home and Faith had no idea where Zaaron was.

She climbed under her covers and closed her eyes as she drifted into a light sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zaaron climbed off his bike and went over and sat on the front steps of the house. He didn't do anything, he just sat there, looking up to the stars as thoughts continued to fill his mind.

He knew he was causing problems between himself and Faith. It wasn't his intention, he just needed time by himself to figure out where he fit in. He was no long one of the protectors, defending the world against evil, which had been his life for over 1500 years. Now he was a human. No strength or speed he's been accustomed to for so long. He was the way he was in the begginning, the only problem was he could remember too much of it. The only part he can remember clearly now was when he was turned. Nothing else of his life before was he able to retain after so many years.

Zaaron stood up and took a last look at the stars and then turned and walked into the house.

He hung his coat in the closet then headed upstairs to thier room quietly, opening the door. He quickly undressed and climbed into bed and curled up to Faiths back, enveloping her from behind.

Faith only opened her eyes when she heard his breathing even out.

She laid there quietly in his embrace, tonight was going to be another night that no sleep was forth coming for her. She would lay there, still and quiet as not to wake Zaaron, but sleep would elude her as her mind raced around with thoughts of what if's and images of the past flooding her senses. Thoughts maybe Willow was right, thought that some how something had gone wrong and she wasn't the one meant to live. These thoughts kept Faiths attention for the remainder of the night and several days after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles sat at his desk as he began putting his work into his briefcase at the end of the day. The last student had been gone for several minutes when he heard a light tap on the class room door.

"I'll be right there Faith." Giles said not looking up as he continued filling his briefcase.

"It's me Rupert. Take your time." Willow replied quietly.

Giles stopped his movements and looked over to the doorway, watching Willow as she slowly moved into the room to stand by his desk. "I thought maybe...........we could go for coffee. Talk or something." Willow said a little shakily.

Giles closed his briefcase and stood there for a moment quietly.

"Why did you just leave? You cold have came to me?" Giles asked.

"Yes, I could have. But the result would have been the same. I would still have left." Willow replied.

"We could have fixed it, if you had just told someone." Giles said.

"That's the point right there, I had to tell you. I shouldn't have had to." Willow replied.

"You're right. It's just hard to...." Giles started to say.

"That's right, it's hard. Everything is hard. You weren't ready for me to be there. You weren't expecting it. You had finally gotten used to me not being there." Willow replied.

"But I want you there Willow. You know I love, more than anything." Giles replied.

"I love you too, but you're not ready for me to be there. I'm not ready to be there." Willow replied.

"You said coffee. Is that what you want to do?" Giles asked.

"Coffee is a good start." Willow said with a small smile.

"Yes." Giles replied with a hint of a smile. "I suppose it is." Giles said as he grabbed his briefcase and extended his arm to Willow.

Willow took his arm and allowed him to lead her out of the classroom.

They arrived in the parking lot as Faith showed up in her car.

"Will. Good to see you." Faith said casually as she looked at the couple.

"You too Faith." Willow replied.

"We're going out for coffee. I'll see you back at the house." Giles stated.

"Alright, see ya." Faith replied as she turned the car around and headed back to work.

"Shall we." Giles said as he opened the driver side door of Willow's car.

"We shall." Willow said as she climbed in and Giles went to the passenger side and got into the car.

They pulled out of the parking lot slowly and pulled out and started driving towards the interstate.

"There's a great little diner on the highway. Food is good, coffee is amazing. It's also very quiet, we'll be able to talk there." Willow said.

Giles nodded his head, willing to go anywhere as long as she was with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith was sitting on the sofa when Giles came into the house. It was close to ten o'clock when she had see Willow's car pull up to the house.

"You missed dinner." Faith said as she looked over to where Giles was as he walked into the living room.

"Sorry. We started talking, I guess we just lost track of time. We ate while we were at the diner." Giles replied.

"No big. I just grabbed a pizza anyway." Faith replied. "So I'm guessing everything went okay?" Faith asked.

"Yes. Everything went fine." Giles replied quietly as he sat down in the chair.

"So what's happening between you? Are you together, not together, what's going on?" Faith asked.

"I don't know." Giles replied quietly.

"And you're okay with that? Not knowing." Faith asked a little upset.

"No. No I'm not okay with that. Things are different now. Things changed and we had to change to get through it. Things have changed again Faith. We can't keep living the way we have been. IF you want to call that living." Giles replied.

"We were doing just fine." Faith replied.

"No Faith. We existed. That was all. We found no joy in anything, we simply existed. We have a chance to start living again. We just have to start remembering how. Even in Sunnydale, before it all happened, we still enjoyed ourselves at times. Enjoyed what we could. We had demons to deal with then, but we still found the time. Now there's none of that, just normal everyday lives that we all wanted, dreamed of for so long. The only problem is, we got out wish, but we didn't and still don't know what to do with it." Giles replied as he looked at Faith.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe we do just exist. But running away like Willow did doesn't make it any easier. Doesn't make it right either." Faith stated as she stood up.

"That's not what she did." Giles replied.

"You're damn right that's what she did. Instead of staying and working things out, she ran and used, sorry to say this, a pathetic excuse. That's not the Willow we knew, she wouldn't have run. She would never have taken the easy way out. There's somethng else to it that she's not telling. She's using this as an excuse to cover it up." Faith replied angrily.

"That's not true." Giles said getting irratated with Faiths attitude.

"Why? Have you asked her? Or did you just take what she said at face value and not push for the truth. If that's the case, you're still not listening." Faith replied as she turned and went upstairs to her room slamming the door before Giles could answer.

For the next week, things between Giles and Faith had been strained. They barely said two words to one another and rarely sat in the same room together.

Since that night whenever Willow called Giles refused to take her calls.

Whenever Willow came to the house, Giles refused to see her and left a message asking her not to come to the school. Willow abided by his wishes and stayed away from where he worked.

As the week passed into weeks, this had become the new routine. Giles and Faith had eventually started talking, but the old routine they had no longer existed.

Xander had moved out to live in the apartment above the bar where he worked and came around very little.

Zaaron had started being around more, but was still quiet and and kept to himself.