Chapter 7

Spike glanced at Buffy out of the corner of his eye for the umpteenth time since leaving W&H. Something was bothering her. She was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth and hadn’t said a word in the last ten minutes, not to mention the fact that she was squeezing the blood out of his hand. The minute they’d decided where they were going, she had done an about face. Gone was the smiling relaxed Buffy he had kissed in the elevator. In her place was a withdrawn and nervous girl who looked like the sky was gonna fall on her. Entering the park, Spike led her down a trail until they came to a bench alongside a stream. It was surrounded on three sides by oak trees, and was covered in shade. He took a seat and waited for her to sit. When she didn’t, and instead started to pace in front of him, his worry increased. In the past, actions like this had never boded well for him.

Buffy paced and tried to gather her thoughts. Should she blurt it out, or make some sort of speech? It was difficult, when it shouldn’t be. She loved Spike, he loved her. It should be the easiest thing in the world to do, but once again her insecurity was kicking her ass. She stopped and looked at him for a moment. This was the first time since the Gem of Amarra incident that she had really seen him in the sunlight. No smoking, no blanket, just Spike with the sunlight filtering through the trees making shadows under his cheekbones and highlighting the bleached ends of his hair. He tilted his head to the side and returned her look, one corner of his mouth turned up in a look that was patented Spike. She leaned down and placed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips and his smile grew to show off his dimples. She could do this.

“Earlier, I had a talk with Angel. He-he asked me if I was still in love with him,” at her words Spike felt his heart drop to his stomach, but kept his face neutral. “I didn’t know what to say. For so long, Angel was my everything. He was my first true love, my first lover, and my first heartbreak. When I sent him to hell, it nearly killed me. Literally. When I met Riley, he was what I thought I wanted. A perfect normal boyfriend, but he wasn’t Angel,” Spike was getting more worried now. This wasn’t sounding good, “I even compared you to Angel, and there was no comparison. You were the opposite of everything that he was, but for some reason it worked,” Buffy sat down next to him and turned his face to hers. “Spike, you were my worst enemy. The one vampire I couldn’t kill, and eventually I didn’t want to. You were everything I hated, but I couldn’t imagine what my life would have been like without you. You saw through all the walls and barriers I put up. You told me the truth even when it hurt, even when it was the last thing I wanted to hear. You took care of Dawn and watched out for my friends, and hell, my mom even liked you. Did you know she hated Angel?” Spike shook his head as he held back tears. He refused to cry like some poof, “She did. She never trusted him, but she trusted you. I thought she was insane. I should have paid attention. My mom wasn’t stupid. If I had listened to her and not my friends, maybe I could have saved us both a lot of grief. When you died… God Spike, it killed me. I didn’t want to admit to myself how much you meant to me. And when I walked into Angel’s office yesterday and saw you…I thought I was dreaming. You were alive, and all my emotions went haywire. There were so many things I wanted to tell you, but you know me. Talking? Not too good at it. Last night was amazing. The sex, the talks, all of it. But the best part was waking up in your arms,” She leaned down and gave him another soft kiss, and pulled back to see his tears finally spill over. She brushed her thumbs across his cheeks wiping the wetness away, completely oblivious to her own tears, “I love you, Spike. So much it scares me, but I do. I don’t care what anyone else says. They can all go to hell for all I care. But you and me? That’s what’s important, and I’m not giving it up.”

Spike stared at her, tears still falling, as he took in everything she had just said. She loved him. Buffy loved him. He felt like he’d just been handed heaven on a platter, and he was having a hard time forming a coherent thought beyond Buffy loved him. As he struggled to form some sort of response, he said the first thing that popped into his head, “Well, you’ve gotten better at the talking thing, luv.” Buffy’s face broke out in a bright smile and Spike couldn’t help it. He pulled her to him and kissed her hard and fast before pulling back again, “God Buffy. You mean it?” She nodded and he kissed her again, “I love you baby. I never thought… God, I love you so much, Buffy.”

Buffy smiled even brighter and threw herself into his arms. As tears poured down her face, she kissed him with everything in her. Spike returned her kiss and pulled her onto his lap, his tongue running along her lips and seeking entrance. With a sigh, Buffy opened to him and he ran his tongue along her lips and teeth before drawing her tongue to his. She ran her fingers through the curls over his ears and then slid her hand down his neck to his chest. She felt his heart pounding beneath her hand, racing as fast as hers. She didn’t think she’d ever stop loving that feeling. Spike’s heart beating, thundering in his chest because of her. She melted against him, feeling his hands sliding across her back and around to cover her hand on his chest, “For you, luv. Only for you,” he whispered before wrapping his arms around her and hugging her to him. Buffy buried her face in his neck and smiled. She couldn’t stop smiling, and she didn’t want to. She was in love, and he loved her back, and she was insanely happy.

* * * * *

Hand in hand, the two lovers walked back to W&H. Both were smiling and everyone they passed smiled in return. Spike felt like he was walking on air. Buffy loved him, and she had told him, and best of all she’d told Peaches. He wasn’t too far-gone to not realize that he was going to have to deal with Angel eventually. There was no way Peaches was gonna let this pass without a speech and more than likely a punch or two. He could deal though, because in the end he would have Buffy, and he was still selfish and egotistical enough to want to rub that in his Sire’s face. As they approached the building, Faith was just stepping out of a limo. Spike let go of Buffy and grabbed the dark haired slayer. Bending her backwards in a dip, he planted a big kiss on the shocked girl.

Faith smirked up at his twinkling eyes and asked, “What was that for?”

“For last night, pet,” Spike replied setting her upright again. “Thought you deserved a proper thanks.”

“So, B told you I sent her, huh?” Faith glanced at a laughing Buffy. She reached out and grabbed Spike’s ass, “You’re welcome, sexy. Feel free to thank me anytime. So I take it everything worked out?”

Buffy grinned and wrapped her arms around Spike, “Oh yeah, everything worked out great. Didn’t it, babe?” Spike grinned down at her and dropped kiss on her lips, “Yep, perfect.”

“Damn, I’m good!” Faith grinned. “Knew all you needed was a little shove in the right direction,” she took the arm Spike offered her as Buffy fell into step on his other side hugging his arm to her. They entered the building only to come to a grinding halt. One by one, shocked expressions took over the smiling faces of not only the three entering the building, but also of the four faces staring at them from across the lobby with Angel.

“Um, hi guys,” Buffy waved her fingers at Giles, Dawn, Willow and Xander. “Look who I found.”

Giles started cleaning his glasses, Willow stared gaped mouth, Dawn squealed, and no one noticed when Xander hit the floor in a dead faint. Buffy, Spike, Faith and Angel exchanged glances and promptly burst out laughing.

* * * * *

Angel had taken everyone to his office except for Buffy, Spike and Giles. The three of them were in the conference room down the hall. Giles sat at the head of the table, and Buffy sat to his left with Spike standing behind her. The two of them eyed the watcher quietly as he cleaned his glasses and perched them back on his nose before turning to them, “So, who- who would like to start the explaining? I’m truly curious as to how Spike is here, considering he didn’t make it out of Sunnydale alive. You didn’t, did you?” Giles raised his eyes to Spike.

Taking the question as a point to start, Spike once again ran out the whole story almost word for word as he’d explained to Buffy. Periodically he would reach down and squeeze Buffy’s shoulder or run his fingers through her hair. As absorbed in the story as he was, Giles still noticed the almost unconscious contact between the two, and the content look on his slayer’s face. When Spike finally concluded his explanation at the point where Buffy showed up in L.A., Giles sat back and looked out the window.

“Well, I must say this is unprecedented,” Giles swung his gaze back to Spike and then to Buffy. “You say Wesley said there was a prophecy of some sort?” At Spike’s nod, Giles continued, “I suppose I should ask to see this, that if is he still has it. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Well, I- I suppose congratulations are in order. I hope you realize how special and er, lucky you are to be given such an um, I guess I should say gift… or blessing? Both do seem to suit.”

“Thanks, mate. And believe me, I know just how lucky I am,” Spike smiled down at Buffy before looking back at the older man. “It took a bit of getting used to, but being human ain’t all bad. And of course, I still have my strength so I don’t feel like a totally useless wanker,” he grinned at Giles.

Returning the smile with a strained one of his own, he responded, “Of course. Um, Spike, would you mind if I spoke to Buffy alone for a moment? I’m sure the others would like to hear what you just told me. We shall meet you in Angel’s office when we’re finished.”

“Sure thing. I can take a hint. See ya in a bit, pet,” For the benefit of the man watching, Spike didn’t kiss his love senseless like he wanted, instead dropping a kiss on the top of her head and giving her a smile before leaving the conference room.

Buffy blushed slightly under the intense scrutiny Giles was giving her before sighing, “I know what you’re going to say, Giles. And yes, I know what I’m doing.”

“Are you sure, Buffy? I’m assuming you and Spike have picked up your ah, relationship again?” Giles questioned. At her slight nod he continued, “You are an adult now, and can choose to be with whomever you wish, but I must say that I am still unsure of the pros to being with Spike as you are. Although he is human now, there are still many things about your history together that I admit make me nervous.”

“I understand that, I really do, but the problems between me and Spike are in the past. And they are also between no one else but Spike and myself. I am not going into this blindly, Giles. I know you and the others have reservations regarding him, and you have every right to. He was an evil creature for so long, not to mention annoying and spiteful, and I could go on but that’s over now. I won’t promise that he won’t still annoy Xander, because I know he will, and we’ll probably fight like cats and dogs. In fact I know we will, but that’s half of what makes us work. We can fight and unload on each other and still be happy. He doesn’t treat me like some fragile child, nor does he treat me like a slayer. With him, I can be myself. I know it’s gonna take some getting used to, but he loves me and I love him. Right now, that is what’s important, the rest we can work out as we go along,” Buffy pleaded for Giles’ understanding with her eyes. He was like a father to her, and she truly wanted him to be OK with her and Spike being together. Not to mention the fact, that if Giles gave his approval, the others would be willing to accept the relationship a lot easier.

Giles looked hard at Buffy and saw the concern for his opinion and also the underlying happiness in her eyes that had been missing since they had left Sunnydale. Whatever he was, Spike seemed to make her happy, and for now that was all that he needed to know, “Very well, Buffy. I can see you have given this some thought, and although I am not completely happy with it, I am more than willing to see what happens. He obviously is making you happy, and for that I should be glad. I was truly worried about your mood before sending you here, and you now seem much more relaxed and content. I will speak to the others also, tell them to try not to give you too hard of a time.”

“Thank you, Giles!” Buffy squealed as she threw herself at him and gave him an exuberant hug.

“You’re welcome, my dear. Perhaps we should go see how the other’s are taking the news?” Buffy moved back allowing the watcher to once again breathe and nodded. As she headed to the door, she looked back at him over her shoulder, “Do you think Xander passed out again?”

Giles tried to hide his snicker as he responded, “I think that’s a definite possibility. He does not seem to handle these things well.”

* * * * *

Chapter 8

Xander hadn’t passed out, but he was pretty damn sure he was hallucinating. He could be having a nightmare. It was possible, because there was no way in hell that what he was seeing was real. Buffy was not sitting next to Spike, and he was not holding her hand, and she most definitely had not just dropped a kiss on him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. ‘No, no, no, no… this is not happening. Not again, and NOT with Spike!’ He had handled the whole concept of Spike returning as a human, he had even handled Willow hugging the man in congratulations and Dawn’s clinging to his arm in joy. But there was no way he would be able to handle Buffy and Spike as a couple. He glanced at Angel out of the corner of his eye. He was the one person who could possibly have as much reason to hate this new development as Xander himself. Unfortunately, Angel seemed quite calm. As if he had been expecting the loving display between the two.

“This is not real, right? Willow, please tell me that I am not seeing this… this, whatever I’m seeing,” Xander pleaded with his best friend, his hands gesturing wildly at the two lover’s seated on the couch.

“Huh? Xander, what are you talking about?” Willow looked at him in confusion.

“Buffy and the former vampire. I mean, what I’m seeing is just wrong. On so many levels,” Xander went on, not noticing Buffy’s glare or Spike’s smirk. “I mean, human or not, this is Spike! We aren’t allowing-“

“Stop right there. Xander, this isn’t your decision to make,” Buffy finally broke in before Xander said something that would make the fist she had clenched next to her connect with his jaw.

“But, Buffy,” Xander’s voice was falling into his distinct whine. “You can’t seriously-“

“Alexander Lavelle Harris, if you finish that sentence I will curse you with warts in a very uncomfortable place,” Willow stood at pointed at her best friend since kindergarten. Everyone in the room gaped at the red-haired girl as unknowingly her eyes crackled with electricity. Spike snorted in humor. The whelp was in for it now.

“But, Wills…” Xander’s words trailed off as he looked at Willow and saw the energy around her. “Nevermind,” he gulped.

“Listen to me Xander. I’m not completely happy with what seems to be going on here, but Buffy is right. This is her decision and we have no right to tell her any different,” she turned her attention to Spike. “And you will not hurt her in any way. If you do, you’ll have to deal with one very pissed off witch. Understand?” She stared at him as she waited for an answer.

“Understood, Red,” Spike looked her in the eye. “Can you um, put away the lightning now, pet? It’s a cool effect, but I think I’d prefer the non-lethal Willow right about now.”

“Lightning?” Willow looked down and saw the white sparks of energy crackling between her fingers, “Oops. Sorry, it happens when I get all worked up,” as fast as the energy appeared it was gone and Willow resumed her seat.

“Not a problem, Red. So, I take it the magick isn’t a problem any more?” Spike smiled at her.

“Not so much. Ever since the spell in the Hellmouth, I’ve not been as worried. I’m still working on the control thing, but I’ve got a grasp on the good stuff. So, I don’t worry about going all evil and veiny again,” Willow grinned. “But don’t change the subject, Spike. I was very serious.”

“Wills, I know you’re concerned,” Buffy spoke up. Glancing around at all her friends, she continued, “I know you all are, but please don’t make this difficult. I know you have a hard time trusting Spike, but I trust him, and I hope you guys will too, in time. I’m happy, for the first time in ages I’m happy. Spike loves me and…I love him,” she caught the wince from Xander and the small frown from Willow. Spike squeezed her hand and she smiled softly at him before looking back at her friends, “All I ask is that you give him a chance. Please? For me?”

Xander sighed before nodding his consent, and Willow looked between the two before speaking, “All I want is for you to be happy Buffy. You’re right about the trust thing, but,” and here she stopped at sent a small smile at Spike, “Spike gained a lot of my respect before the battle. It’s hard to reconcile what he was before with what he became. But, in the end, he did a good thing. A really good thing, and that says a lot. So yeah, I’ll give him a chance. You deserve it and I think, maybe, so does he.”

Buffy jumped up and gave Willow a hug and then turned to Xander and included him, “Thanks, guys. You don’t know how much I appreciate this.” Spike sent a small smile and nod to Willow over Buffy’s shoulder before turning to the dark haired boy standing next to her. “I know you don’t like me Harris, but I won’t hurt her. I promise, and if I do you have my complete permission to torture me any way you see fit,” he held out his hand to Xander. Xander looked at Spike for a moment before reaching out and shaking the other man’s hand.

“I’ll hold you to that, Evil Dead. Does this mean I have to stop calling you that now?” Xander smirked.

Spike laughed, “Call me whatever you want, whelp. But, you might want to come up with a new one or two. Not evil, nor dead anymore.” As Xander nodded, the door to Angel’s office opened and Wes stuck his head in.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Angel I need to speak to you.”

“What’s up, Wes?” Angel motioned him into the office as he stood up.

Wesley came in and closed the door. Looking around the room at everyone, he once again looked at the vampire, “We have a problem.”

* * * * *

Buffy and the gang had left W&H, leaving Angel alone to talk to Wes and Spike, whom he had asked to stay behind. They now were situating themselves in their various rooms at the Hyperion. Buffy glanced up from her lunch to see Willow and Faith enter her room, “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“All settled in and ready for the gossip session,” Willow grinned at Buffy as she plopped down on the bed and stretched out on her stomach. “Faith told me you and Spike got horizontal. Figured you’d want to dish to your bestest bud. Plus, I want to know how all this happened between you and Spike in a day. Not too big on the slow approach, huh?”

“Thought you didn’t like the Spike and Buffy thing, Wills. Now you want details?” Buffy asked around a mouthful of salad.

“Oh, I may not be totally comfortable with it, but I figured you were together when you walked into the lobby hanging off his side all starry-eyed and glowing,” Willow smirked as Buffy choked on her food.

“I was not glowing… or starry-eyed,” at Willow’s raised eyebrow Buffy blushed and smiled softly. “Okay, so maybe a little glowy. God Willow, I’m just… I don’t know. One minute I was fine, getting on after Sunnydale, and then BAM! There’s Spike, and he’s human. I was in shock. I totally ran out on him after he told me what had happened. And last night, Ms. Jump-His-Bones here,” She gestured at Faith. “She tells me to go to him. So, I do. And it was… it was perfect. Since then, I’ve been in a dream world. I love him, Wills. I really do, and I want to make this work ya know?”

Willow smiled at her, “I understand. I was the same way with Oz, and then Tara. Everything seemed brighter, more special. I’m glad you found that again. After Angel…well, I had hoped it would happen for you again. I’m kinda surprised it’s Spike though. But, it was obvious before that he loved you, and he still does now. Plus, he loves Dawn, and he knows about you and your history, so I say congratulations.”

“Thanks Will. Now, enough about Spike and me. Tell me what you are doing here. If you guys wanted to come to L.A., you should of just come with me and Faith,” Buffy turned back to her salad as Willow filled her in on the gang’s idea to take a break and their last minute decision to come to L.A. It soon moved to stories about the slayers and the classes to teach them fighting. As the girls talked and joked around Xander joined them and soon after Dawn came in as well. After a couple of hours of talking, and everyone eating their lunch, they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Angel stepped in at Buffy’s permission and asked her to step out in the hall. Closing the door behind her, Buffy leaned against it and took in Angel’s apprehensive face, “Hey, is something wrong?”

“Possibly. I hate to ask, but do you think you and the gang could help us out with a problem?”

* * * * *

Chapter 9

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Buffy stood behind the desk in the hotel lobby with Dawn, Faith, Xander, Willow and Giles across from her. “Angel and his crew have been doing surveillance on a master vampire named Etienne. Tomorrow night he is holding an auction for some big time baddies. He’s unloading some mystical relics and scrolls, but the big draw is three sisters. They are witches and bound to Etienne by this amulet,” Buffy pointed to the drawing Angel had given her. The amulet was silver with a deep blue stone in the middle and about the size of a fist. “The amulet allows Etienne to control the witches making them do whatever spells he asks. This amulet and these three women are what we are after. Angel and I have mapped out a plan and this is it.”

* * *

“Wes, you and Gunn are on the roof,” Angel glanced up from the map on his office desk to his crew. Wes, Fred, Gunn, and Lorne stood facing him. At Wes’s nod, he continued, “There is a door with access to the back stairs here. Buffy, Faith, Spike and myself will be the main event. We come in through the front doors while you get back stage and try to find the sisters. Lorne, you and Fred are on the inside. I have managed to acquire a pass to the auction for you two.”

“But Angel,” Fred spoke up quietly. “Can I get in being human?”

* * *

“That’s where you come in Willow,” Buffy looked at the witch. “I need you to do a glamour spell for Fred so she can pass as a Pylean. Get with her and Lorne, he’ll give you the details for how she should look. Xander, you and Giles are entering through the sewers from the building across the street. I want you in and guarding the back exit before the team goes in the front,” Xander and Giles nodded their acceptance.

“What about me?” Dawn piped up with an expectant look on her face. “Or do I get left behind again?”

“No, Dawn,” Buffy responded. “You’ll be our eyes and ears on the outside. Everyone will be wired with mics and earpieces. Dawn, you’ll be on the roof here,” at this, Buffy pointed to the building adjacent to the warehouse where the auction was being held. “You have to let us know if Etienne or the sisters make it out of the building, plus give us the heads up if reinforcements arrive. You’ll be our only link to what’s happening. When you see the guys enter through the roof access you’ll let us know and the four of us will go in the front.”

* * *

At W&H, Angel was rolling up the map he had used for the planning session, “Originally this was supposed to be a small operation. In and out, with the girls, before the auction. Unfortunately, due to some heavy protection spells around Etienne’s lair we can’t get in. This is the next best option. Everyone has to be at top performance for this guys. We have to have that amulet or getting the sisters out safely won’t mean squat. It’ll require some heavy magicks to destroy it, and as long as it’s in something evil’s hands it’s a danger and so are the witches,” At everyone’s nod of understanding Angel moved to the door. “All right, I suggest we all get some sleep and be ready. Tomorrow night we fight.”

* * * * *

Spike knocked on Buffy’s door before opening it to stick his head in, “Buffy, pet? You in here?” When he didn’t get a response he entered and pulled the door closed. Hearing the shower from the bathroom, he grinned. Shedding his clothes along the way, he quietly entered the bathroom and closed the door with a soft click. He propped his hip against the vanity and watched Buffy through the slightly opaque shower curtain. Her back was arched as she rinsed her hair, and the blurry view of her breasts pushed out was more than enough to get him hard.

“Are you gonna stand there gawking or help me wash my back?” Buffy’s voice startled him. He hadn’t thought she’d noticed his entrance. He didn’t need to be asked twice though, and quickly pulled back the curtain and stepped in. A smiling naked Buffy handed him a cloth and soap and turned so her back was facing him, “Well, come on. Water’ll be cold soon.”

“Right,” Spike jumped to do her bidding. ‘Yep, I’m whipped. All she has to do is smile and I say “Yes, Ma’am.” Bloody poof.” Running the soapy cloth over her back, Spike relished the feel of her tight muscles and the sight of curved back and round bottom. Deciding to play, he dropped the cloth and instead used his hands to rub the soap over her skin. He ran his hands across her shoulders to the nape of her neck before applying pressure with his thumbs as he ran them down her spine. He smirked at her soft moan and continued to massage her back, the soap allowing his hands to glide smoothly over her soft skin. Splaying his hands out, he ran them back up and allowed his fingertips to brush the outside of her breasts. Buffy shivered and he moved down again, this time reaching around her sides to brush his fingers along the underside of the mounds. Her head fell back against his shoulder as she leaned against his chest. Spike took full advantage of his better access and moved his hands. One went down to press on her stomach, his fingers barely brushing the curls at the apex of her thighs while the other moved up to caress and pinch her nipples. Buffy moaned and wriggled her hips against the erection she could feel pressed between her and Spike. His own groan of need echoed hers and his hand moved lower to cup her. As his fingers moved on her she rocked against his hand, crying out when he pulled away, “No, don’t stop. Please…”

Spike spun her around to face him and backed her against the wall of the shower. Capturing her mouth it a feverish kiss, he nudged her legs apart with his and lifted her up by her waist. Realizing his intention, Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist and reached between them to guide his erection into her. She sank down and opened her eyes to look into his. “Love you…” she whispered, “So much.” Spike’s whole body shook at her declaration and he closed his eyes and buried his face against her neck. He would never tire of hearing those words from her, “I love you to, pet. More than anything.” She squeezed him to her and he began to move. What started slow soon became fast and accented with moans and sighs that mingled in the steam before both came with a cry that was muffled against each other’s shoulders.

Later, after the water had cooled, and the drying had turned into touching and then into more, Buffy and Spike lay curled together in bed. She traced random designs on his stomach as he played with her hair, “Spike?” Buffy lifted her head from his chest to look at him. “Yeah, luv?”

“What happens next? Are you gonna stay here? Or do you…maybe, um…” Her words trailed off uncertainly.

“Maybe what, Buffy? I can’t answer if you don’t ask,” Spike cupped her chin and made her meet his eyes.

“Do you maybe want to come back with me and the gang? I’ll understand if you want to stay here. I just thought I’d offer, ya know, in case you want to,” Buffy watched him; uncertain of his answer, but praying he’d say yes.

Spike’s heart was pounding. She wanted him to come with her. He had been half afraid that despite her declaration of love to him and her friends, she would still go back home and leave him behind. He’d have followed her, of course, but he much preferred her asking him, “Buffy luv, I want to be wherever you are. Here, there or on the other side of the bloody world, it makes no difference. With you is where I’m at home.”

Buffy flashed him a brilliant smile before capturing his lips in a loving kiss. The kiss soon turned into more and as the sun set outside, Buffy proceeded to thank Spike for his sweet words in a very heartfelt and passionate manner.

* * * * *

The next night came quickly, with everyone preparing in his or her own way. Buffy and Spike sparred for a bit before falling back into bed for a few hours of privacy. Willow set up her glamour for Fred and then meditated to center herself before going up against whatever the witches might throw at them. Lorne drank a few Seabreezes and tried to calm himself down. Angel and Faith sparred before each headed off to work themselves into the proper mood. The rest tried to rest and choose their weapons. An hour before their planned time of attack they all met in the weapon room located in on of the sub-basements at the law firm. Wes handed out the communication devices while Angel gave everyone last minute instructions, “I propose we keep tight radio silence. Speak only when necessary. The only exceptions are Lorne, Fred and Dawn. Keep your mics on open. That way there is no way to make a mistake and we can hear everything you say. Everyone else, only turn on your radios when you need to speak. Keep your receivers on though. Once the fighting begins, try to keep everyone in eyesight. Gunn and Wes, you will be responsible for yourselves. Once you have the sisters, notify Dawn and get out. I’ll handle Etienne and hopefully get the amulet. The rest of you are interference. When I give the word I have the amulet, we meet at the back door with Xander and Giles. You two keep that area open. Most of the bad guys will try for the front or backstage. Willow, I need you to try and combat any spells that come up. I can guarantee that Etienne will try to use the witches to get away. Do whatever you can but don’t drain yourself. Everyone up to speed?” He scanned the group and everyone nodded their understanding. “Good luck guys. Let’s move out.”

Everyone headed out and took their different modes of transportation to the warehouse across town. They all took different routes so as not to draw attention. Buffy, Dawn and Spike arrived first and Buffy sent her sister up the fire escape on the building next door with a whispered, “Be careful,” Then her and Spike headed across the street and ducked into an alley to wait. Angel, Willow and Faith came up from the block behind them and stood in the shadows across the alley, while Xander and Giles arrived and headed into the abandoned building to access the sewers. Wes and Gunn climbed up the fire escape of the target building and crossed to the door. Everyone waited for the signal from Lorne that he and Fred were inside. Once received, it was only a matter of time until they could enter. They had decided to wait until closer to the actual time the witches would be auctioned, because it would be a more sure bet that the girls would be backstage rather than locked up in a room somewhere that would require a search. So for now, they played a waiting game.

* * * * *

Chapter 10

After about an hour, Lorne’s voice was finally heard saying the words they were waiting for, “Fifteen minute break, and then the big finale.” Two minutes later, Dawn’s voice was in their ears, “Wes and Gunn are in.” Followed immediately by Xander’s hoarse whisper, “Giles and I are at the back door. No signs of any baddies.” Angel nodded at the others in the alley and they split up. Buffy, Spike and Willow went out and crossed the street a couple of buildings down from the warehouse while Angel and Faith did the same in the other direction. There were two guards at the side door, which Spike took out easily as Buffy moved to the front corner and peeked around the edge. Just as Spike joined her, she saw Angel and Faith creep up and break the necks of the two guards at the front entrance. Staying in the shadows, the two blondes and Willow joined the others.

“Okay,” Angel whispered. “Faith and I first, Buffy and Spike follow. Willow, stay behind us and try to keep outta the fight. Remember, don’t drain yourself.” Willow nodded and Angel turned to the doors. With one last look at the others he stepped inside and Faith moved in behind him.

Spike caught Buffy around the waist and placed a quick kiss on her lips, “Kick some ass, luv.”

“Always. Be careful,” Buffy gripped her sword and moved into the building as Spike followed. Willow crept in behind them and moved to hide behind a pillar to the right of the entrance to the main room. The main room was fairly large, with a stage erected at one end. Lights had been strung from the catwalks overhead, and across the top of the stage, casting ample light throughout. There were at least four-dozen demons and vampires milling about, about what they had expected. Willow spotted Lorne and Fred standing to the left of the stage, and took a moment to smile at how well her glamour spell was working. Next thing she knew Angel, Faith, Buffy and Spike were fighting. A few of the demons noticed the fight and bolted, not willing to risk their lives over something they probably couldn’t afford anyhow. But a vast majority rushed at the four warriors, and the battle began.

Buffy turned from beheading a vampire and raised her sword to block a swing from a big brown hulk of a demon. As she swung and kicked, she saw Spike dust a vamp and move on to another. Finally with a fierce swing of the sword, she decapitated the demon in front of her and turned, just in time to be knocked back a few feet by another. She rolled to her feet and attacked. This one had friends though, and she was moving in and out, trying to fend off four at once. Suddenly two of them went flying back and hit the wall with a thud before falling lifeless to the floor. Buffy looked up to see Willow, eyes white, smile at her. Buffy saluted with the sword and jumped back into the fray.

Spike was having a blast. He was swinging his axe with fervor, decapitating vampires and dismembering demons left and right. Every once in a while he’d look around to see how Buffy was doing. She was glorious, and Spike took a brief moment during a lull to watch her flip over a vampire and separate his head from his body before her feet touched the ground. Soon though, he was back to fighting as a couple of Fyarl demons ganged up on him. He heard a shout of warning from somewhere and ducked just in time to save his own head as a vamp swung a pole at him. He swung around low and severed the vampire’s legs at the knees. Looking up, he tossed a salute at Faith and she winked before turning back to the three demons in front of her. He turned back and made quick work of the two Fyarls and moved deeper into the room.

Willow was watching the fight through a haze. She had summoned her powers and used them sparingly to toss off demons and vamps from her friends. A yell from her earpiece alerted her to trouble and she focused on what Wes was saying, “…Can’t stop him. Too many guards. He’s bringing them out to fight.” ‘Damn! This is gonna get rough,’ Willow thought and then focused her energy to contact Buffy mentally.

Willow turned on her mic and relayed the messages, then started to make her way around the edges of the room to the stage. If the women were going to use magick, she was the only one who could fight them. She used her powers to fight back the baddies who came at her, and eventually came to Lorne who was standing at the corner of the stage. She nodded at him and raised her eyes just as the witches stepped on the stage with Etienne standing in the wings. She saw him wave his hands at the room and heard him yell, “Destroy them!” The witches closed their eyes and raised their arms in front of them. Willow couldn’t make out the chant but she could feel the results. Their combined power was staggering, and she could feel it pressing down on her like she was under 100 feet of water. The rest of the group had battered down the enemy to merely a dozen or so, mostly vampires, and as the chanting grew the fighting tapered off as everyone turned to the three women on the stage. Willow watched as the three sets of arms raised higher and the room began to shake. A few people fell to the floor, including Buffy who was quickly on her feet again and using the edge of the stage to maintain her balance. Spike made his way to her and braced her between his body and the stage. Huge chunks of plaster separated themselves from the ceiling and walls, falling to the floor. A couple of vampires were crushed under them, and Willow saw Faith take a glancing blow to the shoulder. She saw Angel out of the corner of her eye as he got to the stage and hopped up to go after Etienne. She deflected a flying piece of metal before it hit him, and knew she had to do something. She sent a quick mental thought to Buffy before jumping up on the stage herself. She took a few deep breaths and focused all her energy, before shooting it out at the witches. The three women were encased in a glow of white and they stumbled over their words. For a brief moment the shaking stopped before one of the women turned and tossed a bolt of light at Willow. She staggered under the blow, losing her concentration, as the shaking started up worse than before. Faith jumped out of the way as a huge piece of wall fell down next to her leaving a gaping hole to the outside. The remaining baddies took advantage of this and took off into the night, leaving only the small group of friends, the three witches and Etienne.

Buffy watched the building as it fell apart around them. She turned to Spike, “We have to finish this and get out of here before this place comes down on top of us.” She was yelling to be heard over the sound of crumbling walls and falling metal. Spike nodded, but before he could respond they all heard Angel’s voice in their ears, “I’ve got the amulet. Everyone out!” Buffy glanced at the stage to see Angel run a stake through the master vampire’s heart and he exploded into dust. As he died and the amulet lost it’s owner, the women on stage ceased their chanting. The damage had already been done though, and the whole building was ready to fall down around them. Wes and Gunn came out from behind the stage and followed Angel to where Spike and Buffy were. Faith’s voice was coming to them through the earpiece, “Come on guys. Move it now! Xander and Giles are with me at the hole in the wall. It’s the quickest way out, now get your asses in gear!” The five of them looked at each other, before sprinting to the hole. Dodging debris and falling ceiling they made it to the large missing section of wall. Faith gave Gunn, Wes, and then Angel a hand out but before Spike could help Buffy climb over she froze her eyes going wide as Willow’s voice echoed in her head, ‘Buffy!’ She raised fearful eyes to Spike, “Willow! She’s on the stage with the witches; they can’t get past some debris. We have to go back!” Buffy turned to go back to the stage, but Spike stopped her, “Get out, Buffy. I’ll get her,” She shook her head no, but he lifted her up and over the piece of wall in front of them. “Yes, now go. Trust me.” He gave her a quick kiss and she watched as he ran back through the dust and debris towards the stage.

“Buffy come on,” Faith reached a hand up to help her down and Buffy turned to look at her before turning her gaze back to the crumbling room. She shook her head and jumped back off the wall and went after Spike.

Spike managed to make it back to the stage with little trouble, but once there he was met with a huge piece of catwalk and tons of cement from the ceiling. ‘Fuck!’ He thought as he started to climb over. He reached the top, which was about thirteen feet up, and looked down to see Willow and the three women trapped between the pile he was on and the wall behind them. He climbed down part way and one of the girls grabbed his hand. He pulled her up to the top and reached down for the next. After about ten minutes all four women were perched on top of the wall next to him.

“Spike!” He swung his startled gaze to the floor beneath him to see Buffy looking up at him, “Help them down, I’ll grab them from down here!” Spike nodded, annoyed that she hadn’t listened to him, but glad she was here, because he’d had no clue how to get them all down safely. One by one he and Buffy maneuvered the girls to the floor, Willow being the last. She gave Buffy a quick hug and helped her give Spike a hand. Once on the floor, Spike grabbed Buffy in a quick hug, “Do you ever listen, woman?” Buffy grinned at his growl, “Nope! Now come on, let’s get out of here.”

Buffy took the lead followed by the sisters and then Willow, with Spike in the rear. They once again dodged falling metal and chunks of cement and plaster as they made their way back to the make shift exit. Buffy climbed up the pile of debris, and started helping the women over and into the waiting hands of her friends. As she turned around to help Willow, the whole building began to shake again, and the wall nearest the stage collapsed taking with it a major source of support for the ceiling. Buffy, Spike and Willow looked up and saw a huge crack split the ceiling and larger chunks of cement started to fall. “Buffy go. I’ve got Willow,” Even as Spike said this he was pushing Willow up the pile, and Buffy scrambled down the other side and turned back to reach for her best friend. She could just see the ceiling over the pile and even as she watched a huge roar filled her ears as the last of the support crumbled. Suddenly, Willow was flying at her and she landed against Buffy and they fell to the ground. Angel and Faith pulled them to their feet and back from the building.

“No! Spiiike!” Buffy struggled against Angel’s arms as he held her back from the collapsing building in front of them, “Let me go, damn you! SPIKE! Oh God, Spike…” her voice cracked as the rumbling stopped and all that was left of the warehouse was a pile of twisted metal, chunks of concrete and a huge cloud of dust. Angel tightened his grip and hauled her against him as her legs gave out, “Spike…” Then everything went black.

* * *

Willow came out of Buffy’s room at the Hyperion and looked at the anxious faces in the hall, “She’s sleeping. I gave her a tisane, and she should be out for a while.” Everyone nodded at this and Dawn pushed past her to enter the room. She moved to the girl sleeping curled up in a fetal position. Her eyes were swollen and her cheeks were streaked with tear tracks. She had a bruise on one cheek and it stood out against the pale skin. Dawn reached out and brushed a few strands of hair off her sister’s face. Buffy had spent the last few hours crying and raging, before her voice had given out and she was left with no strength. It had torn Dawn apart to watch. She loved Spike too, he was like a big brother to her, and now he was gone. She knew Buffy was devastated, his death coming so close on the heels of finding him again and realizing she loved him. Dawn was worried that her sister might not recover from this. She climbed on the bed and wrapped her arms around the broken woman. Closing her eyes she fell asleep and prayed that Buffy would be OK.

Outside the room, the group had split up to tend to wounds and rest. Willow did the same and than knocked on the door to Faith’s room. The dark haired girl opened the door and gestured for her to enter.

Willow stood uncertainly for a moment before taking a breath and asking, “Faith? Um, there’s something I want to do, and I need your help.”

“Sure thing, Will. What’s up?” Faith took a seat on the bed and gave Willow her attention. Her eyes got wide as Willow laid out her idea, before narrowing again, “You think it’s worth it? I mean, it could amount to nothing.”

“I know,” Willow chewed on her lip and glanced at the wall separating Faith’s room from Buffy’s. “But I have to try… for Buffy. I can’t just not know, and neither can she.”

“All right, I’m in. When do you want to go?”

“Now,” Willow stood with a determined look. “Time could be vital.”

* * * * *

Chapter 11

Willow and Faith picked their way around the edges of the collapsed warehouse and crawled under the barrier put up by the police. In the daylight, the pile of metal and cement looked much worse than it had the night before. Looking at it, Willow began to doubt there was any hope for Spike. They made their way around to the side where the wall had been that they’d escaped through and stopped to look at the damage.

“It looks like there could be a few pockets under those support beams,” Faith said as she studied the lay of debris.

“Yeah, let’s hope so,” Willow responded and gestured to Faith to step back. Closing her eyes, she spent a few minutes using some deep breathing to calm herself and find her focus. Digging deep, she pulled on the little reserve of strength she had left and the words floated through her brain.

Willow felt the energy move up and through her. She cast a net over the area concentrating on the last place Spike had been. She was searching for any sign of a body, living or dead. After fifteen minutes she had felt nothing and felt her power waning, but just as she was about to give up she heard it. She used her last strength to focus on the area, and there it was again. A heartbeat! Closing the spell, she leaned on Faith, “He’s in there. I heard his heartbeat. I’m gonna stay and rest, try to contact him telepathically. Go back to the hotel and get Xander and Giles. We’ll have to dig him out.”

“What about Buffy?” Faith helped Willow to sit down and squatted across from her.

“Not yet. I don’t want her here if he’s in too bad of shape. Once we get him out, if he’s okay, then we’ll get her and Dawn,” Willow replied. Spike’s heartbeat had been faint, but it also could have just seemed that way because the spell had been waning. She didn’t want to get Buffy’s hopes up just to crush them again.

Faith nodded and took off at a jog back to the hotel. Willow leaned against the building behind her to rest a moment before trying to link to Spike. She sent up a quick prayer that he was okay. He had saved her life and she wanted to return the favor.

* * *

Spike came to in the dark. His whole body hurt, and he felt like he’d run his head through a brick wall. Reaching out, he felt around him only to find he was trapped. He had a space about five feet square open around him. Beyond that it was metal and cement. He could feel fresh air, but didn’t see an opening anywhere.

“What?” Spike spoke out loud.

“Bye,” Spike whispered out loud. He laid his head back and moved as much as he could until he found a semi-comfortable position. He closed his eyes to wait.

Willow let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion. She sent a quick prayer of thanks for Spike’s survival and hoped the others would hurry. She didn’t like thinking of him buried under there and in pain. She wanted him out and home with Buffy. Her friend needed him in a way even Willow couldn’t grasp. The witch had never seen anyone grieve like Buffy had been doing for Spike. She heard voices and looked up to see Faith followed by Xander, Giles and Wes. She filled them in and pointed to the area that she had heard him. She sent a quick heads up to Spike and relayed to them that he was ready. Xander went to search for some tools while Faith jumped in with her slayer strength and started moving what pieces she could. She checked for stability before moving anything, and by the time Xander returned with, of all things, a tow truck which he backed into the alley from the other side, Faith had cleared a good deal of debris. She and Xander hooked up the truck’s winch to some of the larger pieces and pulled them away, periodically stopping to check for any vulnerable areas before moving on. Willow stopped them after conferring with Spike.

“He says he can see light now. It’s coming from his left, so call to him,” Willow moved up and they all started calling his name. Pretty soon they heard a response and Faith, being the lightest, climbed over to where it had come from. Peering through a gap in the pile, she saw him, “Hey there sexy. Want we should get you out of there?”

“Bloody hell, girl. This isn’t the time for joking. Just get me the hell out of this place,” Spike scowled before he laughed. He was almost out, thank God. Faith returned his laugh and had Xander toss her the cable. She hooked it around the large piece of cement she was on, and climbed back to the others, “This should be it guys. Last piece.”

Xander turned on the winch and the cable tightened. Slowly, inch-by-inch, the cement chunk started to move. It balanced on one end for a moment before falling to its side and out of their way. Faith once again scrambled up the pile and reached into the hole they had made. With a smile, she hauled Spike up beside her. He rolled over onto his back with a groan, before turning his head to look at her, “It’s about bloody time.”

Every one laughed, relieved he was okay, and Faith helped him to his feet and over the pile to the others. Xander stepped up and he and Faith supported Spike to Wes’s vehicle. They laid Spike across the backseat and Willow took the passenger seat. Xander said he’d use the tow truck to get him, Giles and Faith back.

* * *

Buffy awoke to her sister’s arms around her. For a moment she was confused as to why Dawn was in bed with her, and then her eyes burned as the past night’s events came pouring back. Spike was dead. Squeezing her eyes shut and holding back a sob, Buffy extricated herself from Dawn and stumbled to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her as the sobs started. She spent what felt like hours curled up on the cold tile sobbing before she exhausted her supply of tears and dragged herself shakily to her feet. She turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her burning face. Raising her eyes, she winced at the broken woman reflected in the mirror. Her hair lay in tangled clumps around her face, which was streaked with tearstains and her bloodshot eyes were puffy and swollen. She was covered in dust and grime from the night before and realizing this immediately turned on the shower. She turned the water to as hot as she could stand and shed her clothes. Standing under the scalding spray, she rested her hands against the wall and ducked her head under the water. Mechanically she turned and began the process of washing away all traces of last night. When finished she got out and dried off. Wrapping the towel around her body and twisting her hair into a braid she left the bathroom and grabbed her robe. She quietly left her room and went down the hall. She paused for a moment outsides Spike’s door before turning the knob and going in. She was immediately assaulted with the smell of cigarettes and underneath it was a scent that was just Spike. Tears once again in her eyes, she reached for a shirt he’d left lying on a chair. She brought it to her face and inhaled deeply. She clutched the shirt to her chest as she wandered around the room picking up various things and setting them back down. She found his journal on the bedside table and sat down on the bed. Opening the book, she idly flipped through it reading bits of poetry and comments about fights. Curious, she turned to the last page, dated the day before. It had one sentence written at the top in Spike’s flowing, somewhat old-fashioned, script.

“Oh, Spike…” Buffy words came out in a whisper and her tears left marks on the page. She curled up on the bed still clutching the shirt and now the journal to her. Not long after she was asleep, tears still leaking from her closed eyes.

* * *

Spike walked into the hotel under his own power, but was waylaid by Willow who insisted on checking his injuries before he went anywhere. He spent an impatient twenty minutes in Angel’s office while she taped his ribs and cleaned various cuts. After assuring her that his healing abilities had tempered the pounding in his head he escaped with one thought on his mind. He had to see Buffy. He took the stairs three at a time and halted outside her room. He took a deep breath before opening the door. He recognized the slender figure of Dawn lying on the bed and took a moment debating whether or not to wake her. Deciding to wait until after finding Buffy, he silently left the room and racked his brain trying to think of where she could be. He looked up and down the hall, and noticed the door to his room was ajar. With a smile, he went to the door and peered in. When he saw her asleep on his bed, a shirt and his journal in her arms, his smile turned slightly sad. Her grief was apparent on her face, as were the tracks of her tears. Crossing the room he gently sat next to her on the bed. It was killing him inside to know that he had caused her so much pain, even if it hadn’t been intentional. So many people had left her in her short life, and he knew that being alone was one of her biggest fears. If he had his way, he was going to do everything in his power to keep that from happening. Leaning down, he placed a soft kiss on her cheek before whispering her name.

Buffy felt Spike’s lips against her skin and heard his whisper and snuggled deeper into the bed trying to stay asleep. She didn’t want to wake up and remember he was gone. When his lips moved from her cheek to her temple and back again, she slowly realized that what she was feeling was real and not a dream. Her eyes opened slowly, confused as to who would be in here with her, and she met the deep blue ones staring down at her, “Hello, cutie.”

Her world stopped at the sound of Spike’s voice. Her eyes got very wide and she started to shake. Reaching out a trembling hand, she tentatively touched the tips of her fingers to his cheek. He turned his head slightly, never taking his eyes off hers, and placed a gentle kiss to her fingers. At the reality of that touch, Buffy allowed herself to believe. He was here. He had come back. She didn’t care how it had come to be; all she cared is that it had. She launched herself into his arms with a sob. Spike caught her to him with a slight hiss, but the pain from his ribs took a backseat to having her in his arms. She buried her face in his neck and Spike whispered a jumble of comfort words, running his hands over her back and through her hair.

When she had quieted a bit, he pulled back and brushed the tears off her cheeks. He took in her trembling lips and swimming eyes. She looked so uncertain, as if she was afraid he would disappear if she closed her eyes. He hated that look. It tore his heart out, and he decided that he would never let that look appear on her face again. He took her face between his hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She responded immediately, leaning into him, and opening her mouth to his tongue. He kissed her with everything in him, wanting to show her that he was real and not going anywhere. Buffy’s hands were everywhere. She clutched at him, reaffirming to herself that he was alive. When her hand stopped over his heart she broke off the kiss. She raised her eyes to Spike’s, and for the first time since she had watched the warehouse collapse, she smiled.

“You came back,” She whispered.

Spike smiled softly at her and raised his hand to her cheek, “Of course. Didn’t think you’d get rid of me that quick, did you?”

Her smile wavered a bit, “Not funny.”

“I’m sorry, kitten.” He looked in her eyes before stating, “Buffy, nothing will keep me away from you.”

“You promise?” Buffy questioned, knowing there were some things no one could control, but still needing to hear him say it.

“I promise, luv,” Spike swore and pulled her to him, resting his chin on top of her head. “I promise.”

* * * * *

Chapter 12

Buffy lay in Spike’s bed, his arms around her and his head resting on her chest. They had made love slowly and reverently, reaffirming their love and life, before he had drifted into an exhausted sleep. She ran her fingers through his soft curls as her mind shifted restlessly. She was edgy. His near death had made her realize, once again, how easy it is to lose someone you love. She had put her heart on the line with him, she loved him intensely, but she was so scared of truly losing him. It hurt inside with a searing pain whenever she pictured the collapse of the warehouse and knew he was inside. The thought of loving him and losing him terrified her. It seemed funny to her, that when he was a vampire, she was always so sure of his survival. He was Spike, ‘The Big Bad,’ and nothing could knock him down. Hell, she’d dropped a church organ on him and he still managed to come back stronger than ever. But now…now, The Big Bad had a heartbeat and just like that it could all end. Even with is healing abilities and strength, she knew it was only a matter of time before his risk it all attitude managed to get him killed. Her natural instinct to protect herself reared up, and she had to fight with all her willpower to not just leave. For so many years, she had shut herself off. She had bottled up everything and kept her emotions closed off. Spike was the only one who had ever managed to put a chink in the walls around her heart. He had persistently beaten against them with his love and sarcasm and body. And now, he was so tightly wound around her heart she feared she would not live if he left her. She worried that if he stayed with her, and fought with her, it would lead to his demise as it had in Sunnydale. He was willing to die if it meant she would live, he had proved that time and time again. She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t risk his life so that she could be with him. She knew that, just as well as she knew leaving him behind would tear both their hearts out. Yet, she knew she had to. She couldn’t let him be hurt again, and she couldn’t watch him die again. Carefully untangling herself from him stood up and retrieved her robe. She leaned over and brushed her lips across his forehead, “I love you, Spike. Always.” With that, she left her room to find her friends. It wouldn’t be easy, but she’d make him see that it was for the best…for both of them.

* * *

After getting dressed and sending an ecstatic Dawn off with a hug to visit Spike, Buffy made her way downstairs. She found Xander, Willow, and Angel in the lobby all discussing what to do with the amulet that was now in their possession. Willow raised her head when she heard Buffy’s footsteps, “Buffy! How ya feelin’?”

“Better now that Spike’s back,” Buffy gave her friend a huge hug. “Thank you, Will,” She whispered.

“You’re welcome, Buff. I had to try, he saved my life,” Willow returned her friend’s hug. Pulling back she smiled at the blonde, “So, everything is okay in Buffy and Spike land?”

Buffy winced slightly at this but quickly covered it with a false smile, “Yeah, everything’s great. He’s sleeping right now, or probably not anymore. Dawn was too excited to wait for him to wake up,” Buffy gave the group a wry smile.

“Yeah, Dawnie was pretty upset. She was worried about you too,” Xander grimaced. “I think she thought you weren’t gonna come through that.”

“I got that. I think it reminded her of when Mom died,” Buffy said sadly. “She was so lost then, and I was too. I know that Spike had become a big brother of sorts to her, and I think she felt she was losing another family member.”

“Well, he’s back now, no harm,” Willow perked up. “All is right in the world, right?”

“Yeah,” Buffy forced a smile. “All is right…so, what’s up with the amulet?” She quickly changed the subject before she broke down. As Willow filled her in on the spell they had to do to destroy it, and the difficult ingredients they had to find, Buffy allowed herself to become distracted from thoughts of Spike and focus on her duty.

“So, if all goes well,” Willow concluded. “We can do the spell by the end of the week. Once done, the witches will be free, and we can go home.”

“That’s great guys. I’m actually ready to get back home,” Buffy propped her chin in her hand.

Xander turned his head to look at her, “Me too. So is the miracle boy going with us?”

“We’ve talked about it,” Buffy hedged. “We haven’t really decided one way or the other.”

“Well, I think it would be great if he came. He could help us train the girls and all. I think Giles is starting to get a bit drained keeping up with them,” Willow turned to Angel. “You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

“Dead boy would probably be happy to have Spike out of his hair, right?” Xander smirked at the vampire.

“Don’t call me that, and if Spike wants to go it’s his choice. I wouldn’t force him to stay,” Angel glared at Xander before directing his answer to Willow.

“Well then, it’s up to Spike and the Buffster here,” Xander said. “If we’re done, I’m starving. I think I’ll go down to that café, anyone else?” At everyone’s negative reply, Xander grabbed his jacket and took his leave. Angel went upstairs to sleep, claiming exhaustion and complaining about keeping off hours with so many humans in residence. Buffy chuckled at his retreating form before turning back to Willow. She immediately was confronted with Willow’s resolve face, a sure sign that a serious talk was coming.

Buffy sighed and took a seat next to her friend, “I know the resolve face, Wills. What’s up?”

“Are you okay Buffy?” Willow looked at her hard. “You seem off a bit. I thought you’d be happy, you know, with Spike alive and all.”

Lowering her eyes from Willow’s, Buffy stared at her hands, “I am happy Will. It’s just emotional overload, I think. I was so…God, I can’t put it into words. He was dead, Willow. Or at least I thought he was, and it hurt so badly. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It hurt worse than when I sent Angel to Hell, or even when Mom died. I’m scared. I don’t know if I could survive that again.”

Willow looked at her in understanding, “That’s how I felt about Tara’s death, too. But, I don’t regret one minute with her, even if had meant no pain. Buffy, you can’t let your fears get in the way. Not a day went by with Tara that I wasn’t scared of something happening to her. It was… no, it IS a hazard of the life we live. There’s always that chance that something could go wrong. But, as clichéd as it sounds, you have to take the good with the bad. Someone I love once told me ‘Life is short. Seize the day, cause tomorrow you could be dead.’ I took that to heart. You had a miracle placed at your feet, Buffy. Seize it, and don’t let the possibility of something going wrong take away a chance at happiness. I know you, and I know how you feel like you have to protect everybody you care about. Spike loves you; let him shoulder some of the burden. Don’t run away because you’re afraid something could happen to him again.”

Buffy’s head snapped up at that before tears welled in her eyes, “But Willow, I’m so scared. If he comes with us…”

“It’s no different than if he stays here with Angel,” Willow took her friend’s hand. “At least if he’s with you, the two of you can take care of each other. Just think about it, Buffy. If you really love him, don’t ruin what could be the greatest thing in both your lives.”

Buffy squeezed Willow’s hand, “I don’t want to let him go. I just… I want him safe.”

“I know you do, sweetie. If this bothers you so much, talk to him. See what he says. He might be willing to lay off the more dangerous stuff if he knows you’re that worried. I get the feeling he’d do whatever you wanted if it would make you happy,” Willow smiled at the girl.

“I know, Will,” Buffy sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “That’s what worries me. He’d willingly walk into death if it meant I would live. I can’t do that again…not after Sunnydale, not after getting him back twice. I’d…I can’t let that happen.”

Willow stood and paced in front of the couch. It hurt to see Buffy throwing away a chance at happiness because of her fears. She stopped in front of her friend, resolve face in place, and waited until Buffy met her eyes, “I know you’re scared Buffy. I am too, every day with Kennedy, I’m worried something will happen to her. But give it a chance. Now, after all these years, you have a chance at some semblance of a normal life. Grab it, and run with it. Even normal people have to take that chance…that chance of something going wrong. Don’t think about it or you’ll drive yourself crazy.” Willow crouched in front of the blonde and reached out to squeeze her hand, “I’m starting to be repeat-o girl here, but don’t throw this away. You deserve to be happy…you both deserve it.”

“Who deserves to be what?” Both girls looked up with a smile as Spike and Dawn walked up, “Are you gropin’ my girl, Red?”

Willow laughed out loud, “That’s just wrong, Spike. Besides, I know she’s taken.”

“Damn right,” Spike grinned and dropped onto the couch next to Buffy, dropping a kiss on her temple. “Now what were you two talking about while I was being accosted by a hyper-active teenager?” Spike ducked the joking swing from Dawn before pulling her down to sit on the other side of him.

“Girl stuff,” Buffy replied with a strained smile. Spike raised his eyebrow at her tense expression, and Buffy cursed mentally. He was too damn perceptive. Dropping the smile, she said, “We need to talk.”

“Sure thing, luv,” Spike looked at her serious expression, instantly worried. “Why don’t we um, go out in the courtyard?”

Buffy nodded and stood up while Willow looked at Dawn, “You hungry, Dawnie? Xander’s down at the café. We could join him.” Dawn agreed, and after hugging her sister and Spike, the two girls left. Spike gestured at the door to the courtyard, “After you, my lady.” Frowning when she didn’t return his smile.

Buffy led the way outside, making her way over to sit on the bench there. Spike followed, noticing the stiffness in her frame. He had a bad feeling about this. When Dawn had woke him up earlier, he had been surprised to find Buffy wasn’t there. He knew her fear about being left, and had been shocked that he was the one to wake up in an empty bed. Now, looking at the sadness written across her face, he couldn’t help but be put on the defensive. It pissed him off to no end that he could never be sure of her. He wanted to trust in their love for each other, but Buffy was the queen of running scared. Deciding to jump in with both feet he pulled out a cigarette, something he did very rarely now, and lit it. Leaning against the post supporting the roof, he blew out a stream of smoke, and asked, “What’s going on, Buffy?”

She kept her eyes down, focusing on her hands clenched in her lap. She had truly listened to what Willow said, but that irrational, and she knew that’s what it was, fear was still churning in her gut. Without raising her gaze from her lap, she spoke, “I’m scared, Spike.” Okay, that had been easier to say than she had thought it would be. “I-I don’t know if I…” So maybe it wasn’t so easy. She stood up in frustration. She hazarded a glance at Spike out of the corner of her eye. He was still leaning against the post, his face carefully neutral. She began pacing, “No! I know I can’t. I can’t…I can’t do this again.” She spun on her heel at the end of the patio and faced him. “I love you, I do, but what happened last night? Thinking I had lost you again…I can’t go through that.”

Spike straightened up in a flash, his heart seizing in his chest, cigarette dropping unnoticed to the ground. She couldn’t be saying… “Buffy-“

“No,” She held up her hand. “I have to say this. I can’t spend every day for the next however many years, worrying whether or not you’re going to come home.” She pointed a finger at him, “You said once, that I had a death wish-“

“I was an idiot-” He stopped when she gave him a harsh glare.

“No, you were right, I did,” Buffy snorted. “But so do you. No, maybe death wish isn’t right, but it’s pretty darn close. You jump into the middle of a fight without a plan; you put yourself right in the line of fire. I’m not saying that is a bad thing. You have always been that way, and in the last few years your reasons have been less about getting your spot of violence and more about helping us. But, that doesn’t change the fact that you are always putting yourself in harm’s way.”

“Maybe so, pet,” Spike interrupted. “But, it’s no different than you going out and slaying every night.” He had a feeling where this was going and he was determined to head it off before it got worse. “You don’t like me fighting, luv? For the record, I don’t like you doing it either, but it’s your duty. It’s your destiny and all that rot.” He took a few strides until he was in arm’s reach of her, but didn’t close the distance between them. “You want me to be more careful? I can do that. But Buffy, this is who I am. I’m gonna sound like Peaches here but, I want to do this. I want to help people. I want to save the world.” His lips quirked up at the memory of the last time he’d said those words to her, and he felt heartened when her lips curled slightly also. He took another couple of steps forward and cupped her face in his hands, “Buffy, don’t throw this away. We have a chance at something good, something neither of us thought we would have. I promise to be more careful. I can’t say I’ll never get hurt, I’ll never be in danger…but then again, neither can you.” His eyes searched her face, trying to see if he was getting through to her. He moved that last step to bring their bodies into contact, her head tilting back to look at him. He could see the fear and uncertainty in her eyes, and underneath all that she wanted desperately to believe him. He didn’t know what else to say, “Buffy, please…please don’t run away from this, from us, please-” His voice cracked slightly and he cursed himself for breaking down like this, but she couldn’t leave him…he couldn’t let her walk away.

At the pleading tone in his voice, Buffy felt her heart break a little, “Spike, I…I just don’t want to lose you. If you stay…if you fight…I can’t handle the thought of you not being there. Last night just drove it home for me.” At the thought she got some of her resolve back and stepped away from him, pulling away from his touch. She resolutely ignored the pain in his eyes at the gesture and turned away from him, “I can’t let you put yourself, and this life you’ve been given, at risk because of me.”

Spike’s pain turned into a flare of anger at her words, “Still playing the victim, Slayer?” Buffy whipped around to face him and he closed the gap between them again, invading her space and backing her into the wall. “This has nothing to do with us at all, does it? This has to do with you and your need to play the martyr and sacrifice your happiness for everybody else’s. You think if you cut me loose, than you don’t have to worry that I’ll get myself dead playing the loyal protector, right? Wise up, pet. If I’m not fighting by your side, than I’ll be right there in the thick of it with Angel. What did you call me in Sunnydale? A champion, was it? Well, this is what a champion does…don’t think you walking out of here is going to change that.”

Buffy stared up at him, her own anger coming to the fore. She pushed him back and glared at him, “You think I don’t know that? I know you’ll still fight, I wouldn’t ever ask you not to.” She kept pushing at his chest, knocking him back a step with every sentence. “This isn’t me being a victim or a martyr, Spike. This is me trying to stop what will inevitably happen if we stay together. I love you, you idiot. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I can’t do that,” She had backed him into the opposite wall and now stood before him, anger and fear and hurt pouring off of her in waves. “I can’t take the chance of…I couldn’t live if I had to watch you d-” Her shoulders slumped as the burst of rage gave way to tears.

“I can’t watch you die again like in Sunnydale,” Her voice broke, and Spike’s gaze softened at her obvious distress. She met his eyes and continued, “I had nightmares about that day. I saw you die every night, and all because you chose to fight with me. I don’t want that to happen again. I can’t…God, Spike…I just can’t…”

She collapsed against his chest and his arms came up to hold her. Spike squeezed his eyes shut as he realized what she was telling him. She was taking the blame for his death. His sacrifice had been one more death she had placed on her own list of people she couldn’t save. He gathered her closer and said in a fierce whisper, “Don’t Buffy. It was beyond your control. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to me. God, pet…I’m sorry.” He pulled back and raised her face up to look into her watery eyes. He used his thumbs to brush at the tears sliding down her cheeks, “You want me to stop, I will. I’ll do anything you ask, anything…if it makes you feel better, I’ll stay out of all of it. No demons, no vamps…whatever you want. Just don’t leave me. You can’t watch me die again? Well, I can’t watch you walk away from me again. Please, Buffy…” He pressed soft kisses along her cheeks and eyes, following the tracks of her tears until they stopped.

Buffy pulled back to look at him and winced internally at the pleading expression on his face. He loved her so much, much more than she felt she deserved. She had been so cruel to him and he just tossed it into the past and loved her even more. He had done so much, become so much more than any of them had ever imagined he could be. How could she walk away from that? She had always acknowledged the selfish streak in her nature, thought she had the right to be a little bit selfish because of her life. That same streak was becoming a broad swath as she looked at him. All her life, she had just wanted a man to love her unconditionally…to accept who and what she was with no reservations. This man, her William, always had. She wanted to have what he was offering. That life, that dream, that happiness that had always been just beyond her grasp. That bit of selfishness in her was demanding she take it. Yet, the scared little girl that was always there, the one who was afraid of being left alone, was terrified that he wouldn’t always be there. She had survived her father, Angel, Riley, her mom, even Giles leaving her…but she didn’t think she could handle another person exiting her life, especially if that person was Spike.

“I…” Buffy took a deep breath and dropped her gaze for a moment, before meeting the deep blue of his eyes again. “I don’t want you to give all that up. It’s not fair to you.” Her voice was a whisper as she watched the emotion flit through his eyes.

“Buffy, luv…it doesn’t matter,” He brought his hands around to cup her face again. “I’ve had over one hundred years of fighting, good and bad, I could happily throw it aside if it meant you would stay. Nothing, nothing is more important than you.” His voice was hoarse with emotion and fear. In all his years, nothing had scared him more than this. He felt as if his entire existence was hinging on this woman’s decision.

Buffy knew her next words could make or break them. She had saved the world countless times, yet what she did next seemed more important than a hundred apocalypses. Her dream was right there, within reach, if she could only find the courage to grab it. She didn’t know what to say, how to express how scared and exited and worried and elated she was. For his part, Spike was slowly getting dizzy from holding his breath as he waited for some response. When the corners of her lips turned up slightly he tensed. Then his whole world shifted when the slightly became more and soon she was giving him a blinding, yet somewhat watery, smile, “Okay.”

“O-Okay?” Spike stumbled over the word, trying to grasp what she meant.

“Okay…I’ll stay,” Buffy was surprised at how strong her voice was despite the fear still slithering through her. When Spike went to grab her, she held up a hand, “Hold it there, Romeo. I’ll stay on a couple of conditions.”

“Anything,” Spike couldn’t keep the slight eagerness out of his voice, and she couldn’t help but reach out and run a finger along his cheek. “You come with us to Cleveland and help train the girls.” She watched him nod in agreement and continued, “And if you patrol or fight, I’m coming with you. And last but not least, no running off on your own on some hero’s mission. Deal?”

Her answer was Spike grabbing her around the waist and capturing her lips in a fervent kiss. She smiled against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, forcing herself to throw all her fears out and just enjoy the feeling of being loved so completely. She laughed out loud when he buried his face against her neck and spun her in a circle before setting her back on her feet. She was still giggling when he leaned back to look at her.

Spike stared down at the laughing girl in his arms, “Marry me.” Her eyes went wide and her giggles stopped abruptly. Spike mentally kicked himself. That wasn’t what he had planned on saying, but now that he had he knew he meant it. He took a deep breath and met her surprised hazel eyes, his own brimming with love and uncertainty, “I love you, Buffy Anne Summers, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. So what do you say? Marry me?”

Buffy felt as if the world had just tilted at an impossible angle. He wanted to marry her? ‘OH. MY. GOD. Spike. Husband. Wife. Home. Kids. Mother. Father. Life. Married. Forever…’ As the words repeated in her head, her smile slowly came back by small degrees. Even though it was a serious moment, she couldn’t resist a bit of teasing, “I thought we were engaged?” At Spike’s confused look, she tugged one of the curls over his ear and grinned, “Willow’s spell? I don’t think we ever officially broke our engagement.”

His confusion slowly changed to humor as he caught on to what she was implying, “No, pet. I don’t think we did. So does your answer still stand, then?”

“Oh yeah,” She grinned and pulled him down to meet her lips. Spike returned the kiss for a moment before pulling back and letting out a shout as he spun her around.

Neither one of them noticed the dark haired vampire just inside the doors as he turned away, an indulgent yet somewhat sad smile on his face. ‘Make her happy, Spike. She deserves it.’

* * * * *