Chapter 9:

Time was counting down. Their nerves were jumpy. They only had fifteen minutes until the cameras shut down. There wasn't much time left and they kept looking at each other out of the corner of their eyes in anticipation. Trying to focus on the television and failing miserably, he brought his hand closer to hers and entwined their fingers in an effort to calm her. They were trying to get used to each other's presence without being so nervous but when Spike felt the thin sheen of sweat covering her palm he knew they had a long way to go.

Minutes flew by and they knew it was time. It was time to make their move. Spike leaned his head back unto the soft leather of the sofa and looked toward her. She took a deep breath before doing the same. He looked into her eyes for about thirty seconds before he slowly began to lean toward her. He brushed his lips against her chin then raised to meet her lips. Lips brushed across lips without actually kissing. He teased them hoping that it would drive her crazy enough to make the first move. To his surprise it worked as she sucked his lower lip into his mouth causing him to moan no matter how hard he was trying to fight it.

He knew she would be mad if he got too touchy feely, so he willed himself to keep his roaming hands to a minimum. He rested his hands on her waist and kept them there, trying to avoid temptation.

She had one hand cradling the side of his face and the other was placed on his shoulder. She kept her body as far away as she could while she kissed him because she was starting to enjoy it so much that she was afraid she'd end up crawling onto his lap.

Their tongues swirled together as she fought to suppress her moans. It was getting more difficult not to show any emotion while he was kissing her. She opened one eye and looked up at the camera just as the red light had turned off.

She immediately pulled away from him and got up off the sofa and started heading up stairs.

"What are you doing?" Spike asked, still shaken from the kiss.

"The cameras are off. Our job is done. I'm going to bed." She continued to walk away from him, leaving him on the couch alone.

A loud pounding woke Spike from his slumber the next morning. At first he thought it was just a dream but when he opened his eyes he heard the pounding continue. When he realized there was someone at the door he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His hands ran through his sleep- mussed hair and he stood shirtless with sweatpants riding low on his hips as made his way to the door.

When he opened the door he was immediately hit with a ray of sunshine. He jumped and stumbled back until he realized that he still had the gem of amara on his finger. He lifted his hand to look at it and reassure himself that it was still there.

He looked up and shielded the sun from his eyes. Angela stood before him with a seductive grin across her features. She swayed her hips as she brushed past him before he even had a chance to invite her.

"I knew it was a good idea to come this early." She said, still smiling.

"Why is that, pet?" Spike asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Because this is normally the time when I knew I could catch you in bed half naked and I'm no where near disappointed." Angela eyed him appreciatively.

Spike chuckled. "Right. So, what can I do for you, luv."

"I do love it when you call me luv." She said teasingly as she sat on the leather couch and slowly crossed her long legs. "Actually, I just came by to tell you that I talked to Kevin our events coordinator. He tells me that tomorrow night is our free night so I wanted to invite everyone over to our cabin for a little get together. Are you interested?"

"I'll have to check with Buffy but I'm definitely up for it."

Angela looked toward his crotch. "That's what I'm counting on."

"Spike!" Buffy yelled as she descended the stairs. "Have you seen my robe?" She came to a screeching halt when she saw Angela sitting on their sofa looking up at a half naked Spike.

"Angela." Buffy nodded in greeting. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, she just came over to invite us to a get together tomorrow night, pet. Do you wanna go?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess so. That is, if you want to." Buffy eyed Spike secretly wishing that he would say no.

"It's settled then." Spike announced. "What time should we be at your place?"

"Party starts at ten." Angela answered then stood up to make her way to the door. As she passed Spike, she placed a hand on his naked chest. "I'm looking forward to it." She smiled and walked out the door, leaving Spike and Buffy alone.

"Are you crazy?" Buffy screeched as she looked up at Spike.

"What now?"

"How could you agree to go to that orgy tomorrow?"

"It's not an orgy. It's just a little get together." Spike argued.

"Yeah, just a little get together!" Buffy yelled flailing her arms in the air. "That is another way of saying orgy!"

"I think you are overreacting."

"I am not!" She then walked over to Spike and placed her hand on his chest in the same spot that Angela just had. "I'm looking forward to it." She repeated mockingly, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh come on, Buffy. The girl is just a flirt. It doesn't mean anything."

"You obviously have a lot to learn about women. It's not just about the chase with her. It's also about winning you over when there is another woman in the picture. It's about you choosing her over....someone else."

She had almost said 'over me' but thought twice about it and ended up stumbling over her words. The action was not lost on Spike because his trademark cocky grin immediately spread over his face.

He sauntered over to her and gently placed his hands around her upper arms.

"Don't be silly. You know I only have eyes for you." With that, he leaned down and placed a soft meaningful kiss on her lips. He knew she wouldn't protest because the cameras were on.

He backed away from the short but sweet kiss and looked into her eyes deeply. She seemed a bit flustered but hid it by rolling her eyes at his actions and walked off into another room to try and locate her missing robe.

Later that night they sat down to watch a movie after getting together with the other groups for coffee. It seemed awfully boring but they were assured that more exciting events would be planned for the day after tomorrow. Their meeting was just as uncomfortable as it was the first time. Luckily for Buffy, Angela kept her distance from herself and Spike. She was too busy trying to see how far she could stick her tongue down John's throat to even think about paying them any attention. Lorena and Jason were there and just as quiet as ever. Jason made conversation with Spike and Lorena talked with Buffy but neither of them talked to each other.

She watched Spike who was sitting at the opposite end of the couch. They were sitting too far away from each other and as hard as it would be for her, she knew they had to start showing more affection.

Scooting herself along the cushions, she decided to rest her body against Spike's and continue to watch the movie. He complied by wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her against him. Tilting his face to the side, he leaned his head over the top of hers and rested there. He closed his eyes to relish in the feeling of contentment, wishing that she would agree to this kind of behavior in a real life setting.

She moved her arm to get more comfortable and accidentally brushed her hand across his side. The feeling caused him to let out a strangled cry and squirm away from her.

"What was that?" She turned to him with a teasing smile.

"Nothing." He lied.

"That was NOT nothing. Is my big bad Spikey ticklish?"

Noticing that she has said 'MY big bad Spikey' made him smile but that only lasted temporarily as he realized she had caught him in a weakness.

"I'm not ticklish. I just had an itch."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't care what you believe." He responded. "I am NOT ticklish!"

"Let's test that theory shall we?"

Crawling over him, she straddled his thighs. Her fingers moved lightly and quickly over his ribs and across his sides. He squirmed beneath her and let out strained laughs. Trying to get her to stop, he attempted to grab her hands but the way she was tickling him made his muscles weak and she easily pushed his hands away.

He continued to laugh and squirm as he struggled to free himself from her light and evil touch. It was becoming too much to bear and he knew he had to surrender.

"Ok, ok! Please stop! You win! I'll admit it! I'm ticklish!"

Finally stopping her ministrations caused an ease in his stomach muscles, which were strained from an overabundance of laughing. He glanced up at her satisfied grin and caught her hips as she tried to remove herself from his lap. Her eyes became wide as she wondered what he was going to do next.

Suddenly, he stood up with her still resting on his knees and she clasped her hands around her neck to keep herself from falling.

"Spike!" She yelped. "What are you doing?"

He ignored her question and continued to head for the stairs that headed up to the bedroom.

Walking up the stairs with Buffy wrapped around him was no easy feat. Not wanting to drop her, he walked slowly and carefully up the stairs, tilting his head around her so he could see where he was going.

He reached the top of the stairs and stood at the foot of the bed.

"Spike!" She yelled, more anger evident in her voice. "Put me down!"

"As you wish." His voice was low and deep.

He leaned forward so she would fall back onto the bed. Crawling on the bed after her, he hovered above her, his face inches away from hers.

"What are you doing?" She asked nervously.

"Trust me."

Abruptly, he crushed his lips to hers and spread her legs with his body so he would rest between her thighs. Surprised, she let out a throaty gasp as he plunged his tongue into her mouth. He grabbed her wrists and led her arms above her pushing them down into the mattress.

His velvet tongue tangled with hers, his chest pressed roughly against her. The kiss was deep, passionate and full of lust. There was no tenderness there, only wanting.

Circling his hips, he ground himself against her. When her lips left his to take a breath a loud moan escaped her throat when she felt his jean-clad hardness press into her.

At that second, he released her wrists and raised himself with his hands to push away from her. He stood up and looked at her lying on the bed, flushed and panting.

Taking steps backward toward the stairs, he watched as she opened her eyes and studied him.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her voice weak.

"Sorry, luv. The cameras are off. Our job is done. I'm going to bed." He said, repeating the same words she used on him after their make out session the night before.

She stared at him in disbelief as he made his way down the steps. She couldn't believe she let herself get so lost in him. Slamming her fist hard into the mattress, her mind tried to devise a plan on how to get revenge on him.

To Be Continued...

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Chapter 10:

Buffy stared at the ceiling unable to sleep and trying to figure out what in the world had just happened between her and Spike. How could she have let herself get so aroused? How could she have gone so weak under his touch that she was unable to hide her lustful reaction to him? And more importantly, why couldn’t she stop thinking about how much she wanted to do it again? She should have been smarter than that. She should have known that he was just teasing her, testing her.

The sound of voices brought her out of her reverie and she walked over to the banister to spy onto the living room below to see what was going on. She saw Willow, Xander and Anya walking through the front door and heard them asking about her whereabouts.

“So, where’s the buffster?” Xander asked, clasping his hands together.

“Upstairs. She’s sleeping.” Spike said coldly. This whole game he was playing with Buffy was making him severely frustrated, sexually and otherwise.

“Well, let’s get her down here! We’ve got work to do. We have to go over the game plan. It’s not my fault that the only time we can having a meeting is in the middle of the night.” Xander said.

“I’ll go up and get her.” Willow volunteered.

Buffy saw Willow heading toward the stairs and she quickly raced back to the bed and got under the covers to feign sleep so she wouldn’t know she was watching over them the whole time.

After climbing the stairs, Willow looked toward the bed to see Buffy lying under the covers. She cautiously walked over to the bed and noticed that her eyes were open.

“Buffy, you’re awake.” Willow observed

“Yeah.” Buffy said, her tone crestfallen.

“What’s wrong?” Willow’s expression immediately turned into one of concern.

“I have to tell you something.” Buffy sat up and stared at Willow, wondering if she should confide in her.

“What is it, Buffy?”

“I’m a little afraid to tell you. I’m afraid you might freak out.”

“You know you can tell me anything. I promise to have an open mind.”

Buffy paused, still unsure of the secret she was about to reveal. “I think I’m becoming attracted to Spike.” She cringed and waited for Willow’s reaction.

Willow’s eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly as if she were about to say something but thought twice about it.

“I……um……I” Willow stumbled over her thoughts and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she avoided Buffy’s eyes.

“Oh God!” Buffy exclaimed, putting her head in her hands in utter embarrassment.

Sitting next to Buffy, Willow tried to show her comfort and support by gently patting her back. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to say.” She smiled meekly.

“I’m a freak!” Buffy cried, her head still resting in her hands.

“You’re not a freak. It’s not that bad. It’s probably just the situation you are in. I mean, I couldn’t imagine having to kiss someone and pretend to be close without feeling something.”

“Yeah but I think I started to feel something before all this started. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.” Buffy raised her head to look at Willow.

“Oh.” Willow responded, uncomfortably “If I weren’t gay and if we didn’t see Spike when he was all evil, I might find him attractive.”

“Really?” Buffy questioned and Willow nodded. “Well, I guess that’s something.”

“And it’s not like anything is actually going to happen.” Willow assumed. “Finding someone attractive who is most likely bad for you isn’t the worst thing in the world unless you let it get the best of you. As long as you don’t act on it everything will be just fine.” She smiled reassuringly.

“Right.” Buffy said, unsure of herself. “You’re absolutely right.”

Willow stood up. “We better get downstairs. We have to talk strategy.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Buffy said.

As Willow walked down stairs to join the rest of the gang, Buffy remained on the bed and sighed deeply. Part of her was hoping that Willow would give her some kind of certificate of approval when it came to her attraction to Spike. She wanted someone tell her that it was ok to want to kiss him. She wanted to hear that all the daydreams she had been having about him were no big deal. She wanted permission to have feelings for him and a thumbs up to the idea of going a little further than kissing. Her friends would never approve and most likely think she was completely out of her mind if she let things get any farther than they already had.

Buffy finally made her way downstairs but couldn’t bear to look at Spike or Willow. She knew Willow would be watching her actions toward Spike more closely now after what she had just told her. She suddenly wished she could go back in time five minutes and erase the entire conversation.

Trying to remain calm, she sat on the couch and faced her friends. Xander looked slightly grim as if he were about to deliver bad news.

“Xander, what’s wrong?” Buffy asked

“Well, the votes are in so far and you guys aren’t doing very well. Even Jason and Lorena who are barely speaking to each other are beating you two.”

“How can that be? We’ve been trying really hard.”

Anya spoke up. “Basically, you guys aren’t hot enough. You need more fire. Sex sells and you guys are lacking appeal. If you two don’t give the audience some hot and steamy action they are going to turn on you.”

Buffy pouted and glanced nervously at Spike. His bad mood caused him not to notice the look she was giving him. She was hoping he’d jump in with some helpful suggestions but the look on his face told her that he was a lost cause.

“We’ll work on it. Somehow we’ll win over the audience. We’ll think of something.” Buffy said.

“Good.” Willow responded. “Between you and me, Giles is getting a little bit nervous. Every time he checks to see how many votes you have, he starts to clean his glasses and we all know what that means.”

“Well, tell him not to worry. There is no way we are going to lose.”

Buffy’s last statement got Spike’s attention and he turned to look at her, eyebrow raised. She ignored him though and kept her attention on her friends.

“We better head on home now, Buff.” Xander said standing up. “Good luck. You are going to need it.”

“Thanks a lot.” Buffy said dryly before giving her friends goodbye hugs.

After they left, she looked at Spike out of the corner of her eye and saw him staring at her. She didn’t want to have a conversation about their little make out session. Slowly turning around, she made her way over to the staircase to head up to bed, hoping that he wouldn’t try to talk to her.

“Buffy?”

She sighed in defeat and turned around. “Yeah?”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Spike.”

When she realized that was all he was going to say, she quickly raced up the stairs and away from him. She couldn’t even put into words how relieved she was that he didn’t try to make her talk about her possible feelings for him. That was the last thing she thought she could handle right now.

As he watched her go up the stairs he became proud of himself. He didn’t let his emotions run away with him this time. He was sick and tired of trying to get Buffy to admit something that probably wasn’t even true. Chasing her was no longer an option. If she wants more than a relationship filled with indifference then she’s going to have to come to him from now on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next night, while getting ready for Angela’s party, Buffy stared at herself in the mirror and began combing out her recently washed locks. She wiped off more fog from the mirror so she could see herself more clearly. Suddenly remembering that Spike can’t see his reflection, she wondered what it must be like not to be able to see yourself. It must be weird to stand in front of a mirror and see nothing.

At the same time, Spike was in the bathroom downstairs drying his hair with a towel. He looked over to where the mirror was and almost didn’t dare to go near it. Every single time he stood in front of something that was supposed to cast a reflection, he would become hopeful that maybe just once he would be able to see himself. He was disappointed every time. Even though he already knew what to expect, he stood in front of the mirror and once again saw nothing but the room behind him. He sighed and started to wonder what Buffy saw when she looked at him.

After putting the blow dryer away, Buffy began fidgeting with her hair and began to put it up so she could show off her neck just the way Spike liked it. When she realized what she was doing, she looked incredulously at her reflection in the mirror and let her hair fall amongst her shoulders. Noises coming from the first floor startled her enough to make her jump. She followed the sounds, stopping when she got to the outside of the bathroom door which was already open a crack. She peeked in to see Spike struggling with his hair and growling in frustration. Buffy giggled and Spike turned to look at her.

“Something I can do for you, luv?” Spike asked.

“What in the world are you doing?” Buffy questioned, grinning.

“What does it look like? I’m trying to fix my bloody hair but it’s a little difficult to do that without a reflection.”

“Why don’t you just fix it like you always do?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to make it a little different this time. I usually just slick it back because it’s easy, no mirror required.”

Buffy giggled again when she noticed how disheveled his hair was. It looked like there were a million strands sticking up in every possible direction.

“If all you are going to do is stand there and laugh at me, I’d much rather prefer it if you’d leave.” He said, irritated.

“Stop being such a baby and come here.” Buffy ordered pointing a finger down toward the floor in front of her.

Spike obeyed and when he reached her she put her hand on his shoulders and pushed him down until he was sitting on the toilet seat. She then straddled his legs so she could get easier access to his hair. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her while she began running her fingers through his platinum locks.

Closing his eyes to savor the moment, he wished they could stay like this forever. It felt so good to have his arms wrapped around her and the feel of her fingernails gently scraping against his scalp was like heaven.

Buffy looked at Spike and noticed closed eyes and a contented expression. He looked so sweet and innocent but she knew in the back of her mind that he was anything but. Things have changed so much in the past couple of years that it was almost impossible for her to imagine him hurting anyone. For over a century he was an evil murderer but something in her brain refused to believe that every time she looked at him.

When her movements paused, he opened his eyes to look at her. Their eyes met and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Buffy smiled at him as she inspected the new look she had given him. Her eyes drifted back to his and the look on his face made her nervous. His eyes kept drifting toward her lips and she froze at the thought of what was to come. His head tilted toward her to capture her lips in a kiss but as he moved further forward, Buffy backed away and stood up.

“We better get going. We don’t want to be late.” Buffy said in an overly cheery tone to cover her nervousness. “And don’t worry, your hair looks great.” She rushed out the door after that leaving Spike feeling like the whole situation was completely hopeless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy observed Spike as they walked over to John and Angela’s cabin for the party. She looked at his hair with pride. While fixing his hair, she remembered how sweet he looked when it was curled slightly so she decided to fix his hair to her liking and now she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He noticed her staring at him out of the corner of his eye but he decided not to ruin it by opening his big mouth and embarrassing her. Instead, he smirked to himself and enjoyed the fact that she was enjoying him.

Once they got to Angela’s cabin they rang the bell and waited outside while listening to laughter coming from the inside. Angela opened the door and greeted them with a large grin.

“Hi guys! Come on in!”

As they walked inside, they noticed that once again, Jason and Lorena were as far away from each other as they could possibly get. Lorena was talking to John and they noticed that for the first time since they met her, she had a smile on her face. Jason was on the other side of the room nursing an alcoholic beverage.

Spike and Buffy took a seat next to each other on the sofa and Angela took a seat next to Spike.

Angela looked up at Spike. “Oh! Let me fix that for you.” She immediately started running her fingers through his hair and started spiking it up, ruining the very hairdo that Buffy spent so much time trying to perfect. It took all that she had not to not to wrestle Angela to the ground. She felt anger flare up in her gut and she wanted nothing more than to punch her out if she didn’t get her hands off of Spike immediately.

“Buffy!” Angela exclaimed. “I love your outfit! Those pants were all the rage when I was in high school five years ago!” Her sarcastic comment made Buffy’s anger flare up even more.

“Well, you know Angela, I really love your outfit too. I think I saw it on a hooker a few weeks ago.” Buffy showed Angela a toothy grin.

Looking over at Buffy, Spike’s eyes widened with amazement and amusement. He decided to intervene before things got worse. “So, Angela, what’s the plan for tonight?” His question also got the attention of the rest of the room. They all awaited her answer.

“Well…..” She began with a saucy grin. “I was thinking about a little game of truth or dare.”



“Truth or dare?” Buffy scoffed. “Isn’t that a little childish?”

“Not the way I play it.” Angela used a sexy tone as she eyed Spike. “I’m gonna start and I pick Buffy. Buffy, truth or dare?”

Buffy could see by the look on Angela’s face that she expected her to chicken out and pick truth. Instead, Buffy looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Dare.”

Angela grinned an evil grin and her eyes started to dart back and forth between Buffy and Spike which was beginning to make Buffy nervous.

“I dare you and Spike to give each other an orgasm without the removal of any clothing and without touching any skin that isn’t already exposed.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and she looked at Spike like a deer caught in the headlights. “You want us to what?”

“Don’t act like you’ve never heard the word before.”

“Of course I have but you want us to do that in front of everyone?”

“Well, yeah that’s kind of the point.”

Spike stood up. “Come on Buffy, let’s go home.” Spike could see she was uncomfortable with the entire situation and that taking her out of there was the best option. He offered her his hand and she took it. She stood and they started to make their way toward the door.

“See John, what did I tell you? These two aren’t for real.” Angela said.

Buffy turned around and looked at her coldly. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve been getting a weird feeling about you two. It seems like you are trying so hard to convince us that you are a hot couple but so far I’ve seen no evidence of it. I think you two are just pretending to like each other so you have a chance at winning. You just want the gold at the end of the rainbow because you know these shows usually give big prizes or money at the end.” Angela accused.

“That may be why you’re here but it’s not why we’re here.” Buffy retaliated.

“Prove it.” Angela hissed.

“Fine. We’ll do it.” Buffy said, grabbing Spike’s hand and leading him over to the couch.

“Buffy, we don’t have to.” Spike said, whispering in her ear.

“Yes we do.”

She shoved him onto the sofa and straddled him much like she did in the bathroom while fixing his hair. It was more intimate this time. Her body and his body were tangled together with no room in between. Spike instantly hardened and Buffy gasped at the sensation.

“Buffy, what are you doing?”

“Trust me.” She whispered.

Suddenly, she smashed her lips to his and he tightened his grip around her. She stared moving her hips in a circular motion that made Spike groan. Their lips parted and their breathing became heavy as she continued to move against him. His hands traveled up and down her back and he wished he could slide his hands under her shirt to feel her hot skin but the dare wouldn’t allow it.

He reached around the back of her head to pull her into another kiss. He pulled her as close to him as he possibly could but no matter how hard their bodies smashed together, it still wasn’t close enough. His tongue swept through her mouth as the kiss deepened. Buffy was still grinding herself into him in a way that made him crazy with lust.

When she started moaning, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. She grabbed onto his forearms as her little mewls of pleasure continued and with every swing of her hips, her mewls became louder. Her body started to shiver as did his and they both knew their release was coming. They both let out strangles cries as orgasmic bliss set in. They parted slightly and panted, their eyes still closed. They were drowning in each other but the feeling was interrupted when Angela started to speak.

“Ok, party is over.” She said with open-mouthed shock. “John, let’s go to bed.” Arousal was clear in her voice as she pulled John into the bedroom with her and shut the door.

Reality came flooding back to Buffy and she opened her eyes and gave a wide-eyed and confused look to Spike. Panic suddenly filled her features and she scrambled off of him and ran out the door, leaving Spike sitting on the sofa completely dazed.

To Be Continued…………..

Chapter 11:

Walking slowly down the stairs, Buffy looked around cautiously to see if Spike was around. She had just woken up and hadn't seen him since the party. After running home when realizing how turned on he made her, she hid in her room under the covers and did a great job pretending to sleep even when she heard him come up the stairs to check on her. She remembered lying in bed with a painfully beating heart as Spike stood at the foot of her bed, watching her. The anticipation of his next move made her muscles clench and her entire body cease breath and movement. She half expected him to crawl into bed with her but instead he just stood there for two minutes and quietly made his way back down the stairs.

Shaking her thoughts away, she continued to look for Spike as she descended the stairs and found him lying on the couch asleep. His mouth was slightly agape and his arms were around a pillow, holding it close to him. He looked so sweet that she couldn't tear her eyes away. She stepped closer until she was directly in front of the couch, hovering above him, watching him sleep. Relaxed while watching him, her mind drifted away from her surroundings while her eyes were set on him only. She concentrated on each twitch his face made while he slept and every single movement of his body. Something was screaming at her to turn away but he was simply too mesmerizing to ignore.

When his eyes snapped open, Buffy gasped, jumped and backed into the coffee table. She couldn't hold her balance and ended up falling backward until she was sitting on the edge of the low wooden table.

"Uh sorry. I was just uh…" Buffy stumbled, embarrassed. "Um, did you want some morning bloo…….uh…..coffee…..morning coffee?" Her eyes widened, suddenly realizing that she had almost screwed up in front of the cameras by offering Spike some blood to drink.

Spike seemed to enjoy her little slip up way too much as he looked at her with a toothy grin that she didn't seem to notice. Keeping her head down the entire time, she wouldn't even look at him. He figured she was just embarrassed about the night before but he hated when things got too uncomfortable between them. It always seemed like it was so difficult for her to admit her feelings or to voice what was really on her mind. Sometimes it was easier when she was punching him in the face. Anger was one emotion that was simple for her to convey.

"Regular or decaf?" She asked with a bit of humor in her voice.

Spike smiled. "You know how I like it, luv." He stated with a bit of sexual undertone.

Buffy walked toward him, intently watching the mug in her hand as if she were afraid she would spill some but he knew it was only a distraction so she could continue to avoid making eye contact.

After handing him the mug, she sat down again on the edge of the coffee table and began fidgeting nervously. Spike brought the mug up to his mouth to take a sip but when he noticed her nervousness he stopped. Watching her, he smiled when he realized that she didn't even notice that he was staring. She seemed terrified of looking at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked abruptly.

Her head shot up and her eyes were wide. "What?"

He sensed her panic and rose from the couch to kneel before her. He grabbed her hand and after doing so she seemed to visibly relax.

"Buffy, come with me."

He rose to his feet and extended a hand for her to take. She looked confused for a moment but she took his hand anyway. He led her to the bathroom where they could talk alone and have some peace and privacy away from the intruding cameras.

They reached the bathroom, went inside and closed the door. Sighing, Spike rested his back against the door and closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to say to her.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Buffy. I know last night was just for show."

"I'm not embarrassed. I'm fine. Can I leave now?"

Spike took a step forward. "Don't tell me you're fine. Look at you. You can't even look me in the eye."

She raised her head and looked up at him in defiance. "I can so look at you. I just don't want to. Maybe I'm tried of hanging around you. You knew that this might happen when we started this little job for Giles. You knew we would probably get sick of each other."

"I'm not sick of you, Buffy. I love being around you."

"Stop it! Please!" Her voice was shaking.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

"You! You are the problem! Having to see you every day! Having to kiss you and pretend that I care for you! That is the problem!"

Spike looked wounded. "You don't mean that." He said it but felt unsure of his words.

"Just leave me alone! Just stay away from me!" Buffy yelled and pushed her way past him and out of the bathroom.

Buffy stormed out the door leaving it open behind her. Staring after her retreating form, he violently slammed the door after she was no longer in his frame of vision. Sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, Spike ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it roughly as tears flooded his eyes. He whimpered as he began to cry and tugged harder on his platinum blond locks. Growling in frustration he searched for something to take his anger out on. As he stood up he caught a glimpse of the mirror and stared at it and its lack of reflection.

"You stupid sod!!" Spike yelled at the mirror, trying to imagine his face staring back at him. "I can't even see you! You're not even real! How can you ever expect her to love you when you're not even real! You dead disgusting bastard! Can't you see she deserves better than you!" He started choking through his tears as he spoke, getting more and more frustrated that he wasn't able to see the person that he was screaming at. He let out a loud roar and rammed his fist through the glass in the mirror, making the pieces shatter throughout the room.

Face down and gently crying into her pillow, Buffy thought about how much she must have hurt him by saying the things that she did. She felt awful but didn't know any other way to get him out of her mind and force him out of her heart. She shouldn't be feeling this type of emotion toward him and needed to do everything in her power to put a stop to it. After seeing Willow's reaction to her admission of attraction, she knew that it would be impossible to try and get her friends to understand her newfound feelings toward Spike. Being stuck in this house alone together and being forced to make out wasn't making the situation any easier.

The sound of shattered glass startled Buffy. She abruptly sat up and wiped the excess tears from her eyes. Making her way down stairs, she took a deep breath and got ready to face Spike. He was no where to be seen as she entered the living room so she assumed he must still be in the bathroom. When she reached the door she heard the sound of labored breathing coming from the other side.

"Spike?" She gently knocked on the door. Getting no answer she called out again. "Spike?"

"Go away!" His voice sounded strained.

"Spike what happened? Are you all right?"

"I said go away!"

Ignoring him, she turned the knob and began to enter the bathroom.

"Stop!" He yelled. "Don't go any further. I don't want you to step on any glass."

"What happened in here?" She asked, observing the broken mirror.

"Nothing. Just my overwhelming stupidity. Now get out of here before you cut yourself."

When she turned around to leave Spike let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't deal with her anymore right now. Just as those thoughts finished forming in his mind, Buffy returned with a broom and dust pan. Without saying a word, she quickly cleaned up the slivers of glass from the floor and left a second time to dispose of the debris. Much to his surprise, she had returned once again with a first aid kit.

"What's that for?"

Buffy rolled her eyes at the question and ventured her glance toward his bloody and cut up hands. Remaining silent, she sat down next to him, gently grabbed his hand and began to clean his cuts, making sure that none of the glass was stuck under his skin. As she bandaged his hand, Spike looked up at her and studied the concentration on her face. When she finished, she looked into his eyes and smiled sweetly, and suddenly all the anger he was feeling had disappeared and all he could see is the way she took care of him.

"Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

"Mood swing?" Buffy offered, making Spike chuckle. "Actually, it's a peace offering. I just wanted you to know that I don't hate you."

"Well, if you don't hate me does that mean that you might like me?" Spike waited for an answer.

Buffy rose to her feet and looked down at Spike who was still sitting on the floor. She sighed, "I haven't quite figured that one out yet." Instead of waiting for Spike to respond, she quickly made her way out the door.

Not bothering to get up, Spike leaned his back against the side of the tub. "Well, I guess that's something." He said solemnly, but then smiled.

Later that night, the gentle glow of the television set illuminated the faces of Buffy and Spike who were stretched out on the couch after another tiring day of pretending to be in love. Every day was getting more and more difficult for them both. The soft kisses that they had exchanged throughout the day made Buffy think back to the more passionate ones they had shared. During those same kisses Spike's heart started to break when he reminded himself that it wasn't real.

With her head resting on a pillow at the end of the sofa, Buffy's eyes began to drift shut . The movie they were watching was both romantic and very interesting but she was so comfortable that sleep started to beckon her. As she glanced down she saw the top of a platinum blonde head which was resting on her legs and his hand resting on her thigh. The amount of contentment she felt was almost frightening. This level of comfort didn't happen with just anyone. The idea that she had reached that level with Spike was utterly terrifying.

Her eyes shot open when she realized the romantic climax was happening within the movie they were currently viewing. The fictional on screen couple had just admitted their feelings for one another which lead to passionate kisses. Buffy felt a tightness in her chest watching the scene play out. She glanced down at Spike once again unable to see whether or not he was still awake. Her question was answered when his hand started to slide up her thigh.

Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that the rest of his body started to slide up as well. Moving gracefully until he was hovering above her, he stared into her eyes so hard that she thought he must have seen her soul. She began to wonder what he would find out about her if he could see her soul. Would he be able to see how she really felt about him? Part of her wished that he could. Maybe if an outside view could see what she was feeling, they might be able to tell her exactly what it was because at the moment, she had no clue. Was it hatred? Was it friendship? Was it lust? Could it be possible that it was something even deeper than that?

As Spike's face came closer to hers, her thoughts faded away. Her brain felt as if it had literally shut down and all that was left was how he made her feel inside. The thumping of her heart, the fluttering in her belly and the feel of his breath on her skin was all she needed to know at that moment. Keeping his lips toward hers without actually touching, he lingered there until Buffy thought she would burst in two. Finally giving in, she leaned up to capture his bottom lip making him groan. She knew how he loved it when she started a kiss out like that and his groan of pleasure simply confirmed it.

She opened her mouth so his tongue could mingle with hers. The taste of him was intoxicating. The feeling inside her was so intense that she could barely breathe. Running her hands down his body, she suddenly didn't care about the rules anymore. Her fingers glided over his rear and squeezed, causing him to gasp in surprise. Raising his head, he gave her an evil grin and she knew that he planned to exact his revenge on her. Now that she had crossed the line and broke the rules, there was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to do the same.

Fingertips grazing across her side, Buffy shivered at his touch. His lips swept across her jaw line and down to her neck. He suckled at her sweet and sensitive skin, her hands clenched within his hair as he did so. Expecting to be stopped, his hands rose toward her breasts. Knowing he might be out of line, his hand stopped to rest on her ribs, too nervous to go any farther. Much to his surprise, she noticed his reluctance and helped him along by guiding his hand over her right breast. He lifted his head slightly to examine her as if to get further confirmation that what he was about to do is all right with her. Her head was back and her eyes were still closed. She was very much in the moment of their exploration of each other. Finally, he let her guide his hand to her breast which he cupped and squeezed causing her to groan and pant in excitement. Everything else immediately fell away and he no longer analyzed every move she made, just being with her like this was enough.

Moving away from her neck, he concentrated once again on kissing her. Their kisses became deep and fevered, bodies became more entwined. Buffy's hand glided under the back of Spike's shirt, softly caressing along his back and over his shoulder blades. Her hips lifted, grinding herself into him, their groans becoming more prominent until their mutual sounds of pleasure and the quick shallowness of their breathing was all that could be heard. His cool hands glided under her shirt and drifted across her stomach as his hardness ground into her making her moan so loudly that it instantly brought her out of the cloudy-headed lust she has been experiencing. Her eyes opened and she panicked as she looked over at the video camera in the corner and then at the clock.

"Oh my God!" She gasped quietly, pushing Spike off of her.

She jumped up off the couch and swiftly stood in front of the time glowing on the VCR.

"What's the matter?" Spike asked, sitting up.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing, just……..the cameras are off now……so I uh…..I guess we can stop and go to sleep." She swept the hair out of her eyes, her hands shaking with nervousness.

"Right then. I guess I'll just go out for a smoke before bed."

"Ok!" Buffy slapped her hands together. "Uh…..goodnight then."

Spike walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Night, Buffy."

Buffy smiled nervously. "Goodnight." She repeated.

Spike nodded solemnly and headed out the door, his cigarettes in hand.

Sighing loudly, she headed upstairs to get ready for bed.

As soon as she was out of sight, Spike headed back in to grab his lighter which he had forgotten on the coffee table. Bending over to pick it up, his eyes glanced at the clock. He squinted, making sure he was seeing the time correctly. To his surprise and delight it was 1:45 a.m., 45 minutes after the cameras had gone off. Knowing that she had willingly been making out with him for 45 minutes longer than they had to without even realizing it, put a song in his heart. With a large grin, he headed back outside, humming the whole way.

To Be Continued……..

I know it has been months since I last updated and for that I'm very sorry. This year has not been going well so far and there were a few things preventing me from writing for a while. I'm starting to get back into it now so the chapters should be coming more often within the next few months. I hope this chapter came out well after such a huge gap. I pretty much had to read my story over again to remind myself of where I left off. Please let me know if you like it. I love hearing from you guys! Every review is very much appreciated.