Fathers (Chapter 10)

Spike tossed the pillow across the room. He couldn’t sleep no matter how hard he tried. He was exhausted. Last night with Buffy had been terrific, but leaving the house before sun up was wearing thin. He hated leaving the comfort of Buffy’s bed for this hard, cold slab. He could fix up the downstairs, but venturing down there brought up too many memories of a past he was trying to forget. He picked up his journal. He had started keeping one after finding out he was going to be a father. He wanted Bitty to know him, the real him. He wrote anything that came into his head. He wrote down his hopes and dreams for her. He told his daughter how Buffy had saved him from himself. Spike put the book aside, and closed his eyes. He could see her so clearly. A little girl with Buffy’s cute nose and his cheekbones. He couldn’t decide if he wanted her to be blue-eyed or green-eyed. He wanted her to be healthy and good, like her mother. He drifted off to sleep with images of his girls safe and happy in his head.

Buffy pulled the curtain back, revealing the destroyed lower level. She winced at the sound of rubble crunching under her feet. She had done this. She ran her hand over the bed, remembering many nights next to it, but never actually in it. She regretted all the times she’d never allowed herself to see the beauty of this place. How many times had Spike begged her to stay with him, to hide from the rest of the world? He wanted this place to be a refuge for her. It had been for that one night, the anniversary of her mother’s death.

She had spent the day at home, trying to recall every moment spent with her mother. The stillness of the house had finally driven her out to the cemetery. She stopped by her mother’s grave and found a bouquet of white roses. There was a card with the flowers. Her lips trembled as she read it. Thanks for the marshmallows. Buffy traced the elaborate script. Spike. He hadn’t forgotten her mother. Buffy tucked the card in her back pocket. After placing a kiss on the headstone, Buffy headed off to the only place she’d find some peace.

Spike looked up tentatively as the door slowly opened. He had hoped she’d seek him out today, but it was still a surprise to see her standing in the doorway looking so lost and alone. He opened his arms and she ran into them. They fell to the floor as Buffy clutched at him.

“I miss her so much.” She sobbed.

Spike ran his hands over her body, pulling her till she was sitting in his lap. He didn’t know long they sat there. The sun’s rays faded to night, and the only light came from the full moon. All that could be heard in the darken crypt were her hiccups. Spike felt Buffy’s hands pulling at his shirt. If that’s what she wanted, if that was what she needed, he would oblige. Getting his rocks back, didn’t matter so much in the face of her despair. He allowed her to remove his shirt, but she surprised him. Her hands stilled over his heart, and she kissed the long dead organ. Her breath was like a whisper on his skin. Spike dared not move. This was for her. She looked at him, and he could see her heart was as open and raw as his was. They loved Joyce. And she loved them. He knew nothing would ever lessen the pain of Joyce’s death, but he would spend everyday proving his love to Buffy. He only hoped it would be a comfort, not a burden to her.

“I need you.” She whispered against his skin. “I need you to make me forget what today is. Why she isn‘t here.”

Spike grasped her head in his hands, rubbing his fingers over her tear-streaked cheeks. He nodded his head, knowing there was no need to verbalize his desire to forget as well. Joyce had been the only one, besides Dawn, who had given a damn about him. In his book, she ranked up there with his mother. He would always remember her, even after the others were gone. Spike lifted her out of his lap. Standing up, he offered her his hand. Buffy took it, and he pulled her flush against his chest. They walked silently to the ladder. Buffy stumbled, her knees weak.

She wanted the pain to go away, and what shocked her was why she was here. Why am I not with Willow or Xander? Why not Dawn? Why am I here with Spike? In all the time they’d been sleeping together, she’d never stopped to appreciate how he made everything better. Every night, she came here, escaped from her life. Every night in his arms, she forgot all about bills and responsibilities, about heaven and peace. He created a world where the only things that existed were the two of them. Her feet hit the floor and she realized they’d made it to the lower cave.

“I love you, Buffy. Never doubt that.” He said, staring into her eyes. She had to look away. It was too much. He loved her, but she couldn’t begin to tell him how she felt about him. Watching him, standing there, so open and vulnerable, she felt humbled by his ability to forget who he was, what he was, and love her, his enemy.

Buffy’s hand came up to the back of his neck, pulling him towards her. Their lips met in a gentle, but passionate kiss. Spike scooped her up in his arms, and laid her down on the bed. Usually, they were both ripping buttons and zippers down in a desperate attempt to meld flesh to flesh. This time the air felt different. It was charged as usual, but it caressed Buffy’s skin like a warm embrace. Buffy felt her cheeks grow warm as the last of Spike’s clothes dropped to the ground. He was an Adonis. His skin pearly white, untouched by the harmful rays of the sun. Hard and tough on the outside, but soft and warm on the inside. He was such an enigma, and he was hers, if she wanted him. She did want him. For one night, she wanted to forget she was the Slayer and he was the vampire. Tonight, they were just two people. Buffy felt a sense of peace and clarity for the first time in over a year. Spike caressed her cheek, and she felt free. Tonight, she wouldn’t deny her feelings. She wanted to love and be loved.

Later, Buffy couldn’t explain what happened. Spike had fallen asleep, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Some noise awoke her, and she’d looked around the room panicked. Then, she looked back at him. In sleep, those sharp cheekbones soften. Gone was the cocky vampire, and in his place, was William. The demon and the man loved her. Buffy tried to shake off the rising fear she felt. This was wrong. This was so wrong. She thought of Dawn and Willow and Xander. What would they think if they knew what she’d done that night? She lifted Spike’s arm, and slid out of bed. Her heart screamed at her to stay, but she knew she’d done something so wrong. She wasn’t allowed to feel such things, not for a vampire, not for the demon.

Buffy wrapped her arms around her body. Spike was always there, even when she didn’t want him to be. She had used him, and he’d never balked at any of it. He accepted what she offered, and was grateful for whatever crumbs she threw his way. Buffy felt the slight heaviness of her stomach, and knew it was time to put the past in the past. There was no point in dwelling there.

Buffy carefully ascended the ladder. Spike was asleep on top of the sepulcher. She felt bad. He had a nice bed, now he was back to sleeping on concrete. She’d get the downstairs fixed up, knowing Spike wasn’t likely to do it himself. As she watched him deep in sleep, she wanted to throttle him. How could he not sense she was in the room? Hello, Vampire Slayer at ten o’clock.

Buffy reached out and shook his shoulder. The book he’d been reading fell from his grasp, but still he didn’t move. Buffy knelt to pick it up. Curiosity got the best of her, when she didn’t see a title on the front. Buffy opened to the first handwritten page, and gasped. It was an open letter to the baby. Buffy flipped through the pages and found more letters. She wouldn't read it. This was for the baby. She closed the book, kissing the cover. She placed the book aside.

“Spike,” she whispered. “It’s time to get up.” Buffy nibbled on his ear, smiling as Spike started to wiggle under the covers.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “Umm, nice way to wake up.” He said, his eyes still closed.

Buffy leaned against the makeshift bed. “Are you planning on getting up today?” She asked amused.

“Ah, Pet, I’m already up.”

“I hope you’re not going to talk to our child like that.” Buffy laughed.

“No. Unless it’s a boy, then he’ll have to know his way around a woman.”

“You’re incorrigible.” Buffy laughed. “And it’s not a boy. It’s a girl.” She said, kissing him on the mouth.

“Ooh, big word from the blonde. Maybe, I’m rubbing off on you.” Spike said, scooting over and blinking long lashes at Buffy. She knew it was an invitation to join him and she wasn’t one to refuse a request from a good-looking man.

“So, what brings you by, Buff? Not that I’m not thrilled to have you here, but this is my bedtime. I need my beauty sleep.” Buffy huffed, and climbed up on the sepulcher. She laid her head down on his pillow, and sighed pleasantly. Spike smiled into her hair, knowing that a few months ago, she wouldn’t have been comfortable showing him any emotion. Spike waited patiently for her to speak, but in the meantime, enjoyed the feel of her fingers roaming over his chest. He contented himself with playing with the soft wisps of hair at the nape of her neck.

“I told Giles about the baby.” She murmured softly. “He told me I was infertile. Kinda one-upped me with the shocking news.”

Spike nodded thoughtfully. So that was the reason for this daylight visit. “The Watcher said you were barren, but that’s not possible. We’re having...” Spike’s hand stilled as the truth hit him. “Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the baby, Buffy. I won’t believe that.”

Buffy lifted her head. “I know. I don’t believe it means anything either. Call it mother’s intuition or whatever, but this baby isn’t evil.” Her hand reached out to stroke his forehead, smoothing away the worry she saw there. “I don’t think I can go another six months, though, without knowing how she came to be. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy. I already do, but you know what I mean, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.“ He had the same fears, but didn’t want to upset Buffy by sharing them. His anxiety stemmed from what he was, a soulless vampire. He obviously didn’t have a soul to share with the baby?

Buffy nodded. “Anya told Willow you found a text or something that mentions us? How much have you translated?” Spike slid from under the blankets, and bent to pick up the book from the floor. Absolute perfection. She thought, looking at his naked butt. Focus, Buffy. Focus. I am focusing. She answered back. Spike straightened and Buffy reluctantly pulled her eyes away. Spike laid the text and his notes out for Buffy’s perusal.

“A little bit.” He answered. “Enough to know whom it’s talking about.”

Buffy peered over Spike’s shoulder. She hated to admit this, especially with her whole lung cancer rant, but she missed the smell of bourbon and cigarettes on him. He was turning into an old fuddy-duddy.

Spike’s thigh brushed her knee and she jumped. “I can’t concentrate with you like that. Could you please put on your pants?” She begged.

Spike smirked with pure male pride. Knowing Buffy was watching him, he made a big production of sliding the pants up his muscled thighs. “The baby is doing wonders for your libido, Luv.”

“Ignoring you, now.” Buffy snapped back. She was hornier these days than before she got pregnant. Not that she was complaining. Actually, neither was Spike.

Spike was still smiling when he turned around. One look at Buffy and he wiped the smile off his face, not wanting to deal with a pissed off Slayer. Extreme passion was one thing, extreme pissivity was another. She wavered between the two.

“Ok, just to review. Anya and I were looking in a set of books on Egyptian mythology since the spell Willow used to bring you back called on the god Osiris. Well, we found a reference to two warriors, one of light and one of dark. Now, seeing as how you’re good and all, I figured you were the one for light. And me, being the Big Bad, was the warrior of dark.”

“Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.” Buffy remarked sarcastically.

“It’s Watson, you ninny. Now, stop being snarky. Listen to the rest of what we’ve found. The two warriors join together to create the end of the something. I wasn’t sure on the translation. Giles has the book that deals with this particular dialect, so we’ll have to get it from him.” Spike scratched his chin absentmindedly.

“What’s got you concerned?” Buffy asked him. He was worried and that worried her.

“This joining and what happens after it. I don‘t like not knowing. The text makes reference to a moment of pure truth or something like that.” Spike took a deep breath. “If this is the prophecy, then what’s this end it speaks of, and what in the hell does that have to do with the baby?” Spike slammed his hand down, frustrated.

Buffy placed her hand on his arm. “We’ll figure this out. We just have to be patient.” Spike covered her hand with his. They stared into each other’s eyes, drawing strength.

“Let’s go to the Magic Box, call Giles, look at some of the other texts.” Buffy suggested. “Maybe, Tara and Anya have found something.” They were close. Buffy felt it. The answer was here in this book. She knew it.

Tara peered over the top of her book to gaze at Willow. Willow’s red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and presently was swinging back and forth as she examined a board from Warren’s busted computer. Willow felt Tara’s eyes on her. She looked up quickly and caught her staring. Both girls laughed nervously.

“Did you find anything?” Tara asked, attempting to cover her embarrassment.

“The memory chip is a bit damaged, but not enough to prevent me from seeing what’s on it.” Willow turned the thin card over in her hand. “Whatever Warren is planning, hopefully, he put it on the computer.”

Willow inserted the board into her laptop and powered up. Hopefully, Warren didn’t install a virus or anything. She didn’t want it destroying her hard drive.

Anya sat down at the table. “Any luck with the computer?”

“No, I’m working on it.” Willow said impatiently. It would go a lot faster if everyone, except Tara, would stop asking me about it. “Any luck with that Dargonian fertility book?” Willow asked as the welcome screen popped up.

Anya was confused. She’d held her tongue, knowing they were working blind, but she had to know. “Are we still working under the assumption Warren or somebody put a spell on Spike and Buffy or are we trying to determine if they stumbled onto the same prophecy that Martine Auberjonis and her lover fulfilled?”

“I have to agree, Willow.” Tara added. “If we knew more about Martine, then we would know where to focus our energies. Did Giles tell you anything more about her?” Tara closed the book in front of her, giving Willow her full attention.

“No, all he said was the name of her Watcher sounded vaguely familiar.” Willow’s fingers rested lightly on the keyboard. She hadn’t shared with the rest of them what Giles had told Buffy. If Buffy wanted them to know, she would tell them. “He’s going to try and find the actual diary in the archives. That could take a few days, though. So, in the meantime, we have to continue checking everything. I'm sorry guys. I know we‘re all over the place. I’m getting frustrated too, but think about what Spike and Buffy are going through.”

Anya had been slouching in her chair, but she sat and leaned closer. Tara grinned, amused at the air of secrecy Anya projected. “Spike‘s worried, but he‘s keeping it from Buffy.” Anya admitted. “He loves the baby, but he‘s worried it‘ll take on his demon qualities, which would be bad.” Anya had been spent a great deal of time with Spike, and she found she really enjoyed his company. One-on-one he was charming and very intelligent. She’d never noticed that before. He was guarded and defensive around Xander, not so much with Willow. Xander, god, she hadn’t seen him in days. The morning after the forced slumber party, he’d been aloof, which suited her fine, but unnerved her. She still cared about him, even if she’d never allow herself to love him again. All discussion ceased as the door to the basement opened. Buffy and Spike walked in hand-in-hand.

“Hey, guys. Anya, can Spike use the phone to call Giles?” Buffy asked rubbing her stomach. Need food now! She thought.

“Who’s paying for the call?” Anya demanded, suspiciously.

“Here, demon girl.” Spike said as he threw a twenty on the counter. “Did anyone ever tell you, you’re a greedy little bird?”

“No, but thanks for the compliment.” Anya held the twenty up to the light, garnering snickers from the girls and a scowl from Spike.

Buffy sat down, expressionless. She had her suspicions about where the extra money in her account had come from, but the pieces to that puzzle were starting to fall into place. The only thing she wondered was where he got the money. She could ask his accomplice, but Buffy wanted Spike to be the one to tell her. The money had helped. Spike was trying to help, but they’d promised each other no more secrets.

Thankfully, Spike was unaware of Buffy’s train of thought. He was nervous enough as it was. Giles was Buffy’s father. That bastard Hank Summers had forfeited all rights to that position. So now, Spike was supposed to call this man and discuss the specifics of getting his “little girl” knocked up. This had to be the most bizarre situation since Harmony tried to be Buffy’s archenemy. It just didn’t make any sense. I can do this. I’m the Big Bad. I don’t have to be afraid of a stuffy librarian. I can do this. Spike took a deep breath and punched Giles’ number.

“Hullo.”

“Watcher.” Spike gritted out.

Giles had been lounging on the sofa, reading. He set the book down, and sat up straighter. “Spike, why are you calling? Is it Buffy?” He inquired.

“Buffy’s fine. We’re at the shop. I’ve got some questions about the text I’m translating. Buffy said you would help.”

“Where did you find the passage?” Giles asked, getting up to grab a note pad and pen.

“In a book on Egyptian mythology. I don’t recognize the language they are using. It‘s mixture of hieroglyphics and something else.” Spike drummed his fingers on the counter.

“Is it ancient Sumerian?”

“Anya says it might pre-date Sumeria.”

“Yes, indeed. Well, I would need to see it in order to make a conclusive deduction. Can you fax the pages to me? I’ll work on them, and get back in touch with you. I’m assuming you’ll be at Buffy’s.” The last sentence was said with Giles’ distinct brand of disapproval. It was enough to tweak Spike’s pride.

“Yes, Rupert. I will. Look, I know you don’t approve, but I love her. I love the baby.” Spike looked over his shoulder at Buffy, her hand resting on the barely visible bulge that was his child.

“Spike, you aren’t my first choice or even my second choice for Buffy, but unfortunately, she loves you.” There really was no point in denying the truth, Giles thought. Buffy wouldn’t have gotten involved with Spike in the first place, if she didn’t have feelings for him. And nothing she’d said earlier had discouraged him from this belief.

“I know you‘re aware of how very special Buffy is to me. If you ever hurt her, I will make it my mission in life to kill you. No place will be safe for you.” Giles threatened.

“If I hurt them, I’ll let you kill me.” Buffy looked up, hearing Spike’s declaration. Spike shook his head, letting her know everything was okay.

“I’m supposed to speak to Buffy after her doctor’s appointment on Thursday. That’ll give me a few days to work on this and check on Charles Jayme and Martine Auberjonis.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike’s waist. “You should receive the pages within the hour, Rupert.” Spike signed, reluctantly thanked him for his help.

Spike turned around in Buffy’s arms. “I’m going to fax him the pages. He said he’d call after the ultrasound.”

“What else did he say?” Buffy asked suspiciously, hoping Giles hadn’t chewed Spike out.

“Nothing important, Pet.” Spike kissed her on the forehead, brushing aside her worry.

“Does anybody else wonder what’s the connection between Martine Auberjonis and us? As far as we know, she and Buffy weren’t the same age when they conceived. The only thing they had in common was falling in ... bed with a vampire.” Buffy glared at him, but Spike merely wiggled his eyebrows. Oh, I bet you would have loved if I’d said you love me. Spike mused.

“Thanks a lot, Spike.” Buffy said embarrassed. “Okay, so we have that in common. What else?” Buffy joined Spike on the stairs, sitting between his legs on a lower step.

“The date of conception doesn’t fit either. You and Buffy conceived in December. I was in France in the summer. The only reason I remember this was the weather. It was extremely dry and hot. The weather makes for great wine, but it‘s terrible on the hair.” Anya patted her platinum blond curls. She jumped up from the table when the door chimed.

“We know something else.” Willow interjected. “We know what Warren’s planning.” Spike lifted Buffy up and they stood behind Willow, watching as she typed codes into her computer.

“Can he be anymore of a loser?” Spike moaned as a security screen popped up. Darth Vader was swinging a light saber at them, preventing them from going any further without the correct password.

“What does that make you for going to him for the Buffybot?” Buffy teased. She turned to give Spike a smile, lest he think she was still pissed about it.

Willow smiled as she easily broke through Warren’s defenses. “Guess the Force wasn’t with you, huh?” She loved this stuff. Warren wasn’t as smart as he thought.

Blueprints and schematics of a large complex appeared on the screen. “What are we looking at?” Buffy asked, trying to read the small print.

“Hold on, Buffy. I’m going to magnify the screen. Ok, here we go. Oh, my!” Willow exclaimed. “These are for the army base outside of town. It looks like Warren’s planning on hitting it. He’s got every entrance and exit mapped out.”

“The army does all kinds of testing and weapons development at their bases.” Tara told them, a sliver of trepidation and fear crawling up her spine. “Warren would have access to any weapon he wanted.”

Willow heard the fear in Tara’s voice. Tara hated guns and violence. Knowing that Warren had the opportunity to get his hands on weapons of destruction did not sit too well with any of them.

“Will, we need to know when he’s going to attack that base. We can warn them or something, put them on alert.” Buffy said, hoping Warren would be deterred if the base had increased security.

“Let me open these other files, maybe there is a time schedule for all of this in here.” Willow clicked on several files. Only a few contained any information, and what they held gave the group pause.

“Are those shipment schedules?” Spike asked over Buffy’s shoulder. He pointed to a group of invoices off to the side.

Willow maximized the windows. “I’ll print these out. We can go over them more easily that way.”

“It could be anything.” Spike remarked. “Unfortunately, ladies, we are going to have to think like an undersexed, mega-geek with a massive chip on his shoulder. What would give him a happy?”

Buffy laughed at Spike’s assessment of Warren. She wondered if he realized how much he sounded like Xander at this moment. She wouldn’t tell him. She kinda like having all her limbs attached.

“Yea, more research.” Buffy falsely cheered. Buffy pulled a chair out and plopped down in it. Spike straddled the chair next to her.

“What we need to do is find them and throw their asses in jail.” Spike said angrily. They were after his love. He’d kill them himself if he could.

“Buffy, did you go back and check out that warehouse on Fulton St?” Anya asked.

“No, I totally forgot about it.” Buffy admitted honestly. She’d been so preoccupied she hadn’t given it another thought. “Did I tell ask you about it?” Buffy asked Spike. She was pretty sure she had, but these days if she remembered to shower she was doing good.

“No, Anya told me about it yesterday. Pet, don’t you remember? That’s my old hideout. Well, the Master’s before you killed him.” At Buffy’s blank look, Spike asked incredulously. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“I try not to think about the Master.” Buffy rubbed the chill bumps on her arms. How would Spike know how much terror she felt when she thought about the Master. He wasn’t here when it happened. They didn’t even know each other, then. “He drowned me in a pool of water in a cave.”

Spike would have killed the Master again for what he’d put Buffy through. She couldn’t have been more than 15 or 16 when that happened. Once again, her well-meaning friends had brought her back to face this world. If they hadn’t, you wouldn’t have the Bit. His mind admonished him. You wouldn’t have Bitty Bit growing inside of Buffy.

Spike shook off the anger he always felt towards Willow and Xander. There were more important things to be concerned with, like ensuring Buffy wasn‘t killed. “It would be the perfect place to hide those geeks and their henchmen. All the tunnels lead to downtown. The bottom entrance is well hidden. If you don‘t know where to look for the trapdoor, you won‘t find it.”

“Can you remember which tunnels lead to it?” Buffy asked curiously.

“What are you thinking, Pet?” Spike asked worriedly.

“Simply this. I’m tired of looking over my shoulder.” She said firmly. “Warren’s had us on the run long enough. It’s about time he felt some heat. Besides, I have to do this before I’m too big to kick his ass.”

Spike grinned. “We’re going to need help. Think the whelp will come out of hiding long enough to assist us?” Spike directed that question to Willow.

Truth be told, Buffy was wondering the same thing. No one had heard from Xander since Dawn’s near abduction. It was obvious he didn’t want to be around them. Buffy respected his decision, but it didn’t stop it from hurting like hell. She missed him.

“I’ll call him, but he’s been Mr. Avoidey, it might take some convincing.” Willow answered, closing her notebook.

“When do you want to meet again, Buffy?” Tara asked, picking up her books and placing them in her bag.

“Well tonight, Spike and I are going to check out those tunnels and get a feel for the place. Depending on what we find, how about Thursday after my doctor’s appointment?” Spike frowned. There went his plans for Thursday. He looked to Tara for assistance, but she only shrugged. There was nothing she could do. Buffy’s mind was made up.

“Willow, when you speak to Xander, will you tell him I love him. I miss him.” Buffy rubbed her stomach. “I hate this, Will. We’ve always been able to work out our problems.”

“Buffy, it’s not you. Xander does love you. He just needs to step back.” Willow pulled Buffy into a hug. “You just worry about that baby. Everything else will fall into place.

Spike pulled Tara aside. “Well, that’s the end of that.” Spike said frustrated. “The perfect set-up for a night of fun and food. Dinner and desert, maybe a movie, then a nice, relaxing bath, and bed. Instead, I get to spend the evening with you blokes.”

“Thanks.” Tara said slightly offended. “There’ll be plenty of time to have your date night with Buffy. You can always do it on Friday. Dawn can spend the night with me. Willow, too, if she wants. Then, you and Buffy can have the entire house to yourself.” Tara leaned against the loft staircase, her head resting on her arm, as she looked up at Spike. “What do you think?”

Spike said sheepishly. “Ah, thanks for all your help in setting everything up. I know we’re not the best of friends, but what you’ve done for Buffy, and me, well, thanks. You’re not too bad, Glenda.”

“Same to you, Spike.” Tara said shyly. She leaned in and whispered in Spike’s ear. “Telling Buffy about the money will definitely solidify your goodness in her eyes.”

Spike jumped back, shocked. “How..how did you find out about that?”

“Dawn’s had money. I lived with Dawn. The girl goes through her allowance within a few days of receiving it. Since we found out about the baby, she’s never broke. And then, there’s you. How many times have you gone to the grocery store? There haven’t been any late notices coming to the house, and Buffy hasn’t been working that much recently. Do you see where I‘m going with this?” Tara shook her head. “Look, I’m not prying, but how are you getting the money?”

Spike motioned her closer. “I found an old Spanish treasure in one of the crypts. Dawn and I have been fencing the pieces. We’ve been slipping the money into Buffy’s account.” Spike scuffed his shoe on the floor, earning a glare from Anya.

“I swear. You and Dawn are the new Bonnie and Clyde.” Tara remarked.

“I knew Bonnie and Clyde. They were a bunch of posers. Not as bad ass as they thought they were.”

“Well, anyway,” Tara told him with a giggle. “What you’re doing is what any father would do to take care of his family. I do believe Buffy will be quite impressed, as long as you tell her before she finds out.”

“Arrgh!“ Buffy shouted from across the room. “Why does everyone think anchovies and pineapple are a strange combo? That stupid guy made me repeat my order over a speakerphone. Everyone was laughing at me.” Buffy pouted.

“Maybe, it’s because the thought of mixing small, slimy fish and sweet fruit is enough to turn a normal human’s stomach.” Anya told her bluntly as she came around the counter. She stopped in front of a perturbed Buffy and remarked. “I don’t know if you’re just warped in your taste or whether this is a condition of your pregnancy.” She stared at Buffy briefly before deciding that was a question best saved for later.

Xander ripped open the box Anya had packed for him from their apartment. He heard his father grunting as he brought the last box up from the street. Xander didn’t want his help, but his mother had begged him to include his father in his life. So, here they were, forced together in this small apartment, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with each other. For as long as Xander could remember, his relationship with his father had been strained and distant. He had a better relationship with Giles than he did with this man he called Dad.

“Where do you want this?” Mr. Harris asked as he balanced the box on his hip. Xander rolled his eyes. It had KITCHEN in big black letters written on it, but his father didn’t bother to look.

“Just put it in the kitchen. I’ll move it later if I need to.” Xander waved distractedly. He picked up the framed photo from the top of the box. It was a photo of him, Willow, and Buffy sitting outside the school. The good old days. He thought.

“You should have gone after the blonde, instead of freak show girl. She’s one hot number.” Xander could have sworn he heard his father smacking his lips.

“Don’t talk about her like that.” Xander warned.

“Which one? Your ex or the other one?” Mr. Harris yanked the refrigerator door opened and grabbed a beer. Xander didn’t have much food, but he did have beer.

“Both of them. Anya’s never done a thing to you and Buffy is young enough to be your daughter.” Xander quickly placed the picture back into the box.

“At least I know what to do to keep a woman.” Mr. Harris tilted the can back, chugging the beer. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve when he was finished. “Hell, you’ve got two, three women, if you count the lesbian, and you’re living alone. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me?”

“I told you to stop talking about them.” Xander grabbed his father by the collar, drawing his hand back into a fist.

“Whatcha gonna do? Hit your old man, boy? You don’t have the balls!” Xander pushed him away disgusted, watching impassively as Mr. Harris stumbled over the boxes.

“Just like your mother. Fucking pathetic!” Xander recognized this version of his father. ‘Aching for a fight, version 1.0, slightly drunk.’ His father would say the vilest things in hopes of goading someone into a fight. Win or lose, it made his father feel better pummeling someone.

“I’m not going to fight you. Just go before we say or do something we’ll regret.” Xander stepped back from him and opened the door. His father stormed out, frustrated. Xander closed the door, banging his head against it. His father’s behavior didn’t surprise him. It was what he did. When he felt he wasn’t getting enough attention, he resorted to insults or lewd jokes.

Like father, like son. His mind pointed out. You’re the butt monkey. No one takes you seriously because you don’t take yourself seriously. You hide behind a bunch of girls. Your fiancee wore the pants in your relationship.

“Not anymore.” Xander said to the empty apartment. He wasn’t going to be the comic relief anymore. They were going to start respecting him. First, he had to start respecting himself.

The phone rang. Xander pushed aside boxes. He barely got to each before the caller hung up.

“Hey. Hey, I’m here.” Xander shouted.

“Xander, you sound out of breath. You okay?” Willow asked.

“Just had some quality time with my dad.” Xander told her, his words laced with sarcasm.

“Want some company?” Willow asked worriedly. “I know you’re avoiding everyone these days, but I can help you unpack. We don’t have to say anything about you-know-who or who’s plural.”

Xander laughed. “I’ve got one better. How about letting me take you to dinner? Then, if you’re still want to help, we’ll come back here.”

“Cool. Free food and my best friend. A perfect evening, in my book.” Willow told him excitedly.

“Thanks, Will.” Xander said sheepishly.

“For what Xander?”

“For not giving up on me.” He answered back.

“You wouldn’t give up on me, would you?”

“I think this calls for a shower.” Buffy remarked as she shoved the prone body off her.

“Want some company?” Spike stepped around a severed head to wrap his arm around Buffy’s waist. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Slimed, but fine.” Spike wiped goo off her cheek. “You look beautiful to me, even covered in green stuff. It matches your eyes.”

Buffy tilted her head to the side, green slime falling to the floor. “Flattery will get you in my bed, but not my shower. Sorry.” She said, getting up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek.

Spike’s brow furrowed. He heard something beeping in the foreground.

Buffy surveyed the room. She kicked aside a box, noting the absence of dirt. They must have slept on the floor, she thought with glee. Good.

“Run! Now!” Spikes grabbed her arm and drug her to the trap door.

“What is it?” Buffy asked as she hurried down the ladder.

Spike dropped beside Buffy and pulled her down the tunnel, barely making it around the corner before the explosion hit, destroying the warehouse above and shaking the pipes below. Spike pressed Buffy against the wall, his body shielding hers.

“How’d you know?” Buffy asked, peering down the corridor. The fire had burned itself out, and all that was left was the foul odor of burnt methane gas. Lucky for them, this area wasn’t a big waste area.

“I heard the clock ticking down. They set us up.” Spike said angrily. “We weren’t supposed to leave that building alive.”

Buffy spun around. “No, duh, honey. But how did they know we were coming? We only decided to come here a few hours ago.” Spike shrugged.

“The Magic Box must be bugged. Oh, my god, Spike! What if Warren knows about the baby?”

“Hey, he’s not going to get another chance to hurt you. Do you believe me?” He asked her. She wrapped her arms around his waist. “We’ll just have to take precautions tomorrow, Buffy.”

Buffy pulled back and looked deeply into Spike’s eyes. “I won’t put the baby at risk Spike. I’ll call Dr. Schulz and cancel.”

Buffy knew Spike was disappointed. She was too. “We’ll go in a couple of weeks, once we find all the bugs or whatever Warren is using to spy on us. This way, no one will gets hurt.” She said.

“Okay,” Spike reluctantly agreed. “But if Dr. Schulz insists on you coming in, we’re going.”

“Yes, Daddy.” She said, winking at him.

Buffy released him and watched as he climbed the ladder and pushed the manhole aside. She could hear the sirens of the fire engines as they raced to the warehouse. The flames from the fire could be seen from where they were, some 2 streets over. Buffy turned as Spike rolled the bike out of the bushes.

“You look super-sexy on that bike.” She said coyly, as she slid behind him. Her arms wrapped around his waist, her head rested on his back. Every muscle on him was sharply defined. She loved lying next to him, running her fingers over every inch of him.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” Spike asked amused.

“Yeah. Is it working?” Buffy asked back, guiding her fingers to the waist of his jeans.

“Uh, huh.” Spike replied heatedly. “Hold on tight luv. This may be a bumpy ride.”

The next day at the Magic Box, Buffy and Spike shared their suspicions that the place was bugged. Anya was pissed to discover Warren had been in the store after hours, and proceeded to do an inventory of every item in the place. The rest of them searched the place, top to bottom. They found nothing, which only made Spike’s mood darker. He was still upset with having to cancel the ultrasound. He understood the logic of doing it, but that didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.

Buffy had stopped by Dr. Schulz’s office to cancel the appointment in person. Instead of being upset, Dr. Schulz was relieved. She had two patients presently in labor, and her day was going to be full with deliveries. Dr. Schulz assured Buffy that waiting one week to do her check-up would be all right.

“Buffy, you’re young and you haven’t had any episodes of cramping since the poisoning. You’re progressing well.” Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. “Actually,” she continued. “We’ll have a much clearer picture of the baby if we wait. A fetus doesn’t usually form its individual digits until the 13th week of gestation.” She explained.

“What will we be able to see?” Buffy asked.

“You’ll see what looks like toes and fingers, but they’ll be web-shaped.” Dr. Schulz laughed. “Don’t worry, Buffy. That’s entirely normal.”

Buffy took the appointment card from the receptionist. She was scheduled for next Friday at 7. “Thanks, Dr. Schulz. Spike really wants to come, but he just couldn’t get out of work tomorrow night.”

“Like I said, Buffy, it’s no problem. I like for the father-to-be to be involved as much as possible in all aspects of the pregnancy.” Dr. Schulz followed Buffy into the lobby where Tara sat waiting. “If Spike has any questions, tell him I’ll be happy to answer them.”

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” She laughingly told Dr. Schulz.

Giles called on Thursday as scheduled. He unfortunately didn’t have any knew information on the text.

“Olivia has a friend sending me a book on ancient dialects. Hopefully, this will shed some light on what I’m missing. We will crack this code, Buffy.” He promised her.

“I know you’re doing your best, Giles. Everyone is. I’m patient. I’ve still got six months and counting to go.” Buffy said, spooning Cherry Garcia out of the carton.

“I do have something for you.” Giles told her. “Martine Auberjonis was 15 when she was called in 1785. She died two years later in 1788, a year after the French Revolution began. Charles Jayme retired from the Council in 1789. It seems he was too distraught to continue in his duties as a Watcher.”

“Did her watcher’s diary say how she died?” Buffy inquired. She smacked Spike’s hand away as he attempted to dip a finger into her ice cream.

“No, I haven’t been able to get my hands on the actual diary. I picked up this information from the Chronicles. It list the different slayers, the dates of their callings and deaths, and their watcher.” Giles strained to hear what was going on Buffy’s end, but decided better of it, when he heard Spike’s voice in the background.

“I’m going to ring off, Buffy. I will call when I have something. Take care.”

“He said he was unable to decipher the text, but he’s got some book on the way to help with that.” Buffy stabbed the frozen treat with the spoon. “I guess we wait. I told him I was patient, but I lied.”

“I know, Pet, but there’s nothing to be done for it. We wait. We plan. We’ve got other fish to fry. The Kalstas are still out there, and so is the Geek Patrol.” Spike spun around and laid his head in Buffy’s lap. “We’ll lay low for the time being.”

Buffy nodded, but her heart wasn’t in to it. She had to smile at the goofy expression on Spike’s face. He was in heaven with his ear pressed to her belly.

“Whatcha thinking?” She asked him, savoring the taste of the cherries sliding down her throat.

“I’m thinking you need to share. That’s what I’m thinking.”

Buffy arched her eyebrow and closed her eyes as she wrapped her mouth around another spoonful. Spike pouted, but his eyes widened when Buffy leaned over and kissed him fully on the lips. There’s something to be said for sharing. Spike blissfully thought.

The next week passed rather quickly for everyone, except Dawn. She was ready for Friday to come and not for the usual teenage reasons. Buffy had agreed to allow her to accompany them to the hospital for the ultrasound. Actually, Dawn was surprised Buffy was still talking to them, after she busted them about the money.

A few days ago, Buffy sat the unsuspecting pair down, and told them she was being investigated by the IRS for illegal funds. Needless to say, both Dawn and Spike were shocked. They were sure they’d done everything to stay under the IRS’s radar. Buffy waited them out, watching as the guilt nearly overwhelmed them both.

“Buffy, we’re so sorry. All Spike wanted to do was give you some money without you freaking about where it came from.” Dawn tearfully admitted. They were going to jail, and they hadn’t done anything illegal.

“Buff, I didn’t think they would find out. I mean, we only deposited a few hundred every couple of days.” Spike stood up, pacing the living room. Buffy calmly sat down, truly enjoying the sight of them squirming.

“Yes, imagine my surprise when the bank informed me I had five thousand dollars in my checking and five thousand in my savings. I thought my fairy godmother had granted my wish. But no, it was my well-meaning, but truly aggravating sister and boyfriend.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “Both of you promised me no more secrets and you lied. I should be angry with you, but I’m too grateful. Next time, you two geniuses decide to snow me, make sure you get the bank statements before I see them.” Buffy got up and went upstairs to take a nap, leaving Spike and Dawn to stare after her.

Dawn looked at the clock again. Spike glanced over at Buffy, who shook her head amused. She held her watch up and counted down. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on cue, Dawn asked. “Is it time to go yet?”

“Dawn, you asked us that 5 minutes ago, and the answer hasn’t changed. We’re leaving as soon as Tara gets here with the amulet. She said she’d be here by 6:30. It’s just 6: 20.” Buffy flipped to the next page in the catalog.

“We should be on time. You know how it is at the hospital.” Buffy and Spike ignored her as they checked out potential patterns for the baby’s room. Dawn huffed indignantly, and plopped down in the chair next to the sofa.

The front door opened and in walked Tara and Willow. “Thank god.” Buffy muttered under her breath. Dawn jumped off the sofa. “Tara, do you have the amulet, because we need to go?”

“Here you go, Buffy. All enchanted and everything. It’ll provide protection as long as you wear it.” Tara handed the amulet to Spike, who draped it around Buffy’s neck. Buffy pulled her hair away while Spike secured it.

“So you guys are coming directly back here after the ultrasound?” Willow asked.

“Yep.” Spike confirmed. “Is the whelp still coming?”

“You know he is, Spike. Now quit it.” Buffy warned.

“Okay, it’s 6:30. Let’s go.” Dawn told them as she raced for the door.

“She’s excited if you couldn’t tell.” Buffy sarcastically informed them. “Oh, if Giles calls, tell him I’ll call him when I get back.”

“Will do Buffy. Oh, by the way, we found out Charles Jayme settled in New Orleans in 1789, shortly after quitting the Council.” Willow and Tara had discovered that little tidbit on a genealogy search on him.

“That’s great. At least, we know where to look for that diary.” Buffy glanced over her shoulder at the car. Dawn was staring holes into her back. “I’d better go before Dawn blows a gasket.”

Willow and Tara watched until they couldn’t see the Desoto anymore. “Well, that was sweet. They look so normal together. You never know what will make up a family.” Tara said thoughtfully. It was true. They were all family. Blood didn’t matter. It was the heart.

“So what do you want to eat? The cabinets are full, thanks to Spike, so we can whip up anything.” Willow suggested, going into the kitchen to search the cabinets.

“Whatever you fix is good for me, honey. I’m just glad to be here.” Willow stood up abruptly. Did Tara just call her honey and admit she was glad to be here with her. Okay, don’t panic, Willow. Just go with the flow. “I’m glad to you’re here too. Willow blushed, but didn’t make a move towards Tara. “How does vegetable quesadillas sound?”

“That sounds great.” Tara said, stooping down to pull vegetables out of the bin. Willow’s fingers ached to run themselves through Tara’s hair. Tara turned abruptly, her face smacking into Willow’s outstretched hand. Willow pulled away, scared she’d made a mistake, misread the signals. She sighed in relief when Tara leaned into her body, rubbing her head on her thigh.

Buffy nudged Spike. He looked up sleepily at her, wondering why she’d awaken him. She turned to look at Dawn, who was sitting a few seats over from them. She had her hands in her lap, nervously looking around at the doctors and nurses passing her by. One look at her and they both remembered the hospital wasn’t a pleasant place for her. Joyce’s illness, Glory/Ben attacking her. Spike patted Buffy’s leg and got up to sit with Dawn.

“Hey, you okay?” Dawn nodded, but Spike was unconvinced. Her bright blue eyes were hooded. “It’s all right to hate this place, after everything that happened here. But you gotta know, Bit, there are miracles performed here everyday. Babies are born. Lives are saved. There’s a lot of good that goes on here.” Spike put his arm around her. “This place can’t hurt you, if you don’t let it. Remember the good times and put the bad ones behind you. Joyce would want you to do that. And Glory won’t ever be able to harm you again.”

Dawn snuggled into Spike’s embrace. “Thanks, Spike.”

“Welcome, Nib.” Dawn looked up, as a doctor in scrubs walked up to Buffy. Buffy was smiling, so this must be the infamous Dr. Schulz. “Look, Spike. She’s here.”

Spike and Dawn walked up to the pair. “You must be Spike and Dawn. I’ve heard a great deal about you from Buffy. She tells me you’ve been taking good care of her and the baby.”

“We try, but she’s high maintenance.” Buffy scoffed at that.

“Sorry about the wait. I know you’re anxious to see the baby, so let’s get started. Buffy, you can change into a gown in that room, right there.” Dr. Schulz said leading Buffy to the dressing room.

“Do you have any questions to ask me while we wait for Buffy?” Dr. Schulz picked up Buffy’s chart, and programmed her information into the Ultrasound computer.

“I’ve been reading, but I’m worried about the labor. Buffy’s strong, but there could be complications with a home birth. I understand her aversion to hospitals, but this is different.” They had argued about the baby being born in the bathtub, but Buffy had been adamant the baby be born in a warm, inviting setting.

“I’m aware of Buffy’s feelings, but yours are important too. You are the father. I wouldn’t have suggested a home delivery, if I didn’t think Buffy wouldn’t be a perfect candidate. She’s young and in excellent health. Her pregnancy is coming along quite nicely. If she develops any problems before the delivery, I will insist she have the baby in the hospital. I promise. I will discuss this with both of you before we make any final decisions.”

Buffy padded out the room, wearing nothing more than the hospital gown and her socks. Spike helped her up on the table. Dr. Schulz placed a sheet over her legs, and pulled her gown up to expose her stomach. Of course, Spike had seen her like this, but Dawn hadn’t, and she was amazed at how much Buffy’s stomach had grown.

“Wow, Buffy! You really are gaining weight.” Buffy stared daggers at her, but smiled anyway.

“This is going to be cold, Buffy. So prepare yourself.” Dr. Schulz squeezed the gel onto Buffy’s stomach.

“I’m use to the cold.” Buffy blurted out. Dawn snickered beside her.

Dr. Schulz pressed the ultrasound head into Buffy’s belly, moving it around till she found what she was searching for. They heard the baby’s heart beat, then the image appeared. Buffy and Dawn gasped. Spike teared up. The baby couldn’t have been as big as his hand. She was so tiny; he wondered how her heart didn’t tear through her body. Buffy reached out to touch the screen. “That’s her heart. And her toes and fingers. They are just starting to form.” Dr. Schulz told them helpfully.

“Oh, my god! Look at her. She’s so small.” Buffy sniffed.

“Buffy, she‘s so tiny.” Dawn exclaimed, amazed.

“Spike?” Buffy asked, when he didn’t say anything. He was staring fixedly at the screen. “That’s our baby. Can you believe it?” Spike shook his head.

“I’m going to take a couple of pictures. Then, I’ll do a quick check and you can go.” Buffy leaned back as the pictures were taken and printed out. She was starting to worry about Spike. He wasn’t talking. He wasn’t moving. He was just there. Buffy laced her fingers through his.

“Could you print a couple more? We don’t share well.” Buffy informed her, smiling.

“Sure.” Dr. Schulz had heard that before, and she was more than happy to oblige.

Buffy and Dawn marched Spike to the parking deck. Once Dr. Schulz had handed him the photos of the baby, he had been incapable of doing anything more than nodding. So, Dawn took one side and Buffy the other.

“Can I drive?” Dawn asked, knowing full well they weren’t going to let her. “I can’t be any worse than Spike. Look at him, he’s still comatose.” Spike heard the laughter in her voice, but he couldn’t get over the image of his baby inside Buffy’s tummy. It was truly amazing.

“There’s no way you’re touching my car, Dawn.” Spike said, finally coming out of his stupor.

“So, how does it feel, Dad?” Buffy teased. Spike stopped and pulled her into his arms. “I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you for her.”

“Well, I didn’t make her by myself.”

Dawn rolled her eyes at the mushy display. She was ready to get home, and show off the very first pictures of her little niece. Dawn felt her neck tingle. “Buffy, behind you!” Dawn screamed as the demon attacked. The blow intended to crush Buffy’s spine bounced off, violently throwing the demon back.

“Guess that worked.” Spike remarked, immediately yanking Dawn behind him and Buffy. The demon was momentarily stunned, but not dead. “Head for the car, Bit.”

Buffy kept Dawn close to her, hoping the amulet would provide protection to her as well. They were a few feet from the car, when the next Kalsta leapt from behind a van. He slammed into Spike. Dawn had been holding on to his duster, and was inadvertently pulled down. Buffy grabbed for her, but the other Kalsta was up and running full speed into her. The barrier protected her, but Dawn was left defenseless. Knowing the Kalsta would eventually go after Dawn, Buffy ripped the amulet off and tossed it to Dawn. Dawn caught it as the Kalsta bore down on her. Buffy ripped a parking pylon up out of the ground and swung it at the monster’s leg. He howled as he clutched his injured leg. He swung, blocking Buffy’s next blow, and sent her sprawling across the deck. The pylon fell to the side. Dawn was frozen in fear. Spike wouldn’t be able to get to Buffy in time. It was up to her. Dawn shoved the amulet into her pocket, and raced towards Buffy. Buffy struggled to sit up, but she was dazed.

Have to move. Have to move. She repeated. Buffy tried to crawl away, but her body was stunned from the fall. The Kalsta caught her by the leg, yanking her back. He straddled her, preventing her from moving. Buffy’s blood-curling scream echoed off the concrete walls as the Kalsta raised his arm, his spikes prepared to rip into her stomach.

He’s going for the baby. Dawn thought.

Spike saw this too, and roared. The Kalsta he was fighting stumbled back in surprise. Spike grabbed and wrapped the Kalsta’s arm around his own neck. One quick yank and his body fell to the floor. His head rolled under a car.

Buffy could have sworn the Kalsta leader grinned as he raised his arm. She knew Spike wasn’t going to get to her in time. Buffy continued to struggle, but the weight of the demon kept her pinned down. She would have begged if she thought he it would matter. Her baby was going to die, and she would too. She closed her eyes waiting for the blow, the pain, but it never came. Instead, she felt the weight lifted off of her. She opened her eyes to see Dawn raining blow after blow down on the head of the Kalsta. Dawn was mumbling incoherently and crying. Slime flew through the air, splattering them. Spike grabbed the pylon from her, and Buffy rushed over to comfort her. Spike finished the leader off with a quick snap to his neck.

Spike stumbled over to the sisters and fell to his knees next to them. The shock and terror he’d felt when he saw Buffy was still coursing through his veins. He’d almost lost them both. Buffy and the baby would have died from their injuries. He shook his head to disperse the image of them bloodied and dead. He’d have nightmares about this for years to come. He felt hands on him, and looked up to see Buffy and Dawn reaching out for him. They clutched at each other, desperate to reassure themselves of each other’s safety.

Dawn felt a warm breeze caress her body. She couldn’t understand where the breeze was coming from. She started to ask Buffy if she felt it, but realized they didn’t, they couldn’t.

“I’m okay, Auntie Dawn.” The tiny voice whispered. “Tell Mommy and Daddy I’m okay.” What felt like a soft, wet baby kiss touched Dawn’s cheek.

“Dawn, are you hurt?” Spike asked. He wanted to shake her, but she seemed in shock. Buffy stood nearby. Her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach.

“Yeah.” Dawn finally answered. “They didn’t hurt me. The baby..” Dawn started.

Buffy was crying. Her body was shaking with the force of her tears. Spike helped Dawn up. They walked over to Buffy, wrapping their arms around her.

“Buffy, it’s okay. The baby’s okay. She told me to tell you both. She was okay.” Dawn stepped back. They were looking at her like she’d told them she was pregnant by a chaos demon.

“Look, I know it sounds weird, but it’s your kid. She’s talking to me, not the other way around.“ Dawn said defensively. “Usually, it’s just a feeling, but today was the first time she’s ever spoken to me directly.”

Spike and Buffy looked at each other. There was no point in pretending this was a normal pregnancy or that they were a normal family. This fit. “I’m glad she’s okay. Tell her we love her.” Buffy wiped her nose. “I want to go home, Spike.”

“Okay, luv. Do you want to go back inside and get checked out?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, I just want to go home. I think I crack my ribs when I fell.”

Spike ran his hand over her torso, and nodded when he felt the jagged edges beneath his fingertips. “I‘ll wrap you when we get there.”

“Is that too tight, Pet?” Spike asked as he secured the final strip around her ribs.

“It needs to be tight.” She reminded him, gently. “I’ll be all right. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.” Buffy winced as she eased back. “How’s Dawn? She was pretty shaken up after the attack, and then the baby talking to her. Can our lives be anymore bizarre?” Spike said nothing. He had been watching her closely.

“Hey, don’t worry about Dawn. She’s fine. The witches are looking after her. You’re fine. The baby’s fine.” Spike peered into her face, watching her closely. He knew she’d been holding everything in, trying to spare Dawn anymore trauma, but the dam was starting to crumble.

“Oh, god!” Buffy moaned. “She could have died. Our baby could have died. I wouldn’t have been able to save her.” She croaked. “Oh, god! Oh, god!” Spike crawled up onto the bed, and gently embraced her.

“But she didn’t, Pet. She’s fine.” Spike picked the baby’s photo up. “We didn’t lose her. She’s fine. And no one will ever hurt her.” Spike couldn’t deny he had felt the same gut-wrenching terror when he saw the Kalsta bending over her. His whole world was on the verge of destruction, and he would have been helpless to stop it.

“It was so real, Spike. Just the thought hurt so much. I thought I was being split in two.” She sobbed.

“Shush, Buffy. Try to get some sleep. They’re gone. You‘re safe.” Spike reassured her. Warren was a dead man. He added quietly to himself.

“I love you, Spike. I want you to know that. I do. I love you so much. I love this baby so much. I don’t want to lose either of you.” This was the moment Spike had dreamt of, but it was tempered by the fear he’d felt at nearly losing them.

“I know, Pet.” Spike traced the photo. “I love you too.” Spiked leaned back to look into her face. “Do you think you can say that in front of the Scoobies? I want to rub it into Xander’s face.” He joked. Buffy blinked at him, stunned momentarily, then burst into painful giggles.

“Knew I could get a smile.” Spike remarked.

“I’m really beginning to hate that Warren guy.” Tara said as she stroked Dawn’s hair. Dawn had just finished telling them about the attack at the hospital. Buffy and Spike had rushed upstairs to bandage Buffy’s ribs.

“He’s awful. If Buffy hadn’t been wearing the amulet, she would have been killed. I‘m glad they are gone.” Dawn said irritated. “Then, the baby talking to me. What’s that all about? Why is she contacting me, and not, Buffy or Spike?”

Willow shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe, it has to do with you being the Key?”

“Dawn, you have to remember. You’re pure energy. You said when the baby appeared to you, the air felt warm, electric. The baby may be pure energy as well.” Tara theorized.

“I dunno. I’m not scared when it happens. I feel such peace. It’s beautiful, really.” Dawn leaned forward and picked up the photo. “I feel her innocence, her purity.”

“That’s terrific, Dawn.” Dawn handed Willow the picture. “You want something to eat. We’ve got leftover veggies. We can make you a quesadilla. How about that?”

“Thanks, Willow.” Willow hopped up and headed for the kitchen.

“Were you scared, Dawnie?” Tara asked.

“Not for myself. I was scared for Buffy and the baby. If she lost the baby, I don’t know what she’d do.” Dawn shuddered in Tara’s arms. “Spike would be devastated. You should have seen him, Tara. He couldn’t stop staring at the screen. You could see how much he loves the baby.”

“He loves the three of you very much.” Tara commented. There was a knock at the door. “I bet that’s Xander.” She said, getting up to open the door.

“Hey, Tara.” Xander waved at Dawn, who was trying to hide the ultrasound pictures.

“Hi, Xander. Ah, I don’t know if we are going to have a meeting tonight. Warren attacked us at the hospital. Buffy’s upstairs with Spike getting her ribs wrapped.”

“Cracked ribs? Ouch!” Xander said, concern clearly written on her face. “Why were you at the hospital?” He asked confused.

Dawn looked to Tara for a good response, but Tara had none. They panicked wondering what they could say to placate Xander. Then the unthinkable happened.

“The baby is so small. I can’t believe they can take a picture of it at this stage.” Willow slammed into an invisible wall. “Uh, Xander.” She croaked.

“Baby. Who’s having a baby?” Xander asked, a sinking feel of dread in the pit of his stomach. He snatched the photo out of Willow’s hand. Sure enough, it was a photo of a young fetus with the mother’s name clearly typed into the corner. Summers, Buffy A.

Comatose and Loving It (Chapter 11)

Xander read the name again. Buffy A. Summers. He laughed softly. Was this a joke or something? Buffy pregnant. He couldn't even wrap his brain around that concept. He cringed thinking about Spike, but immediately dismissed that idea as being totally ridiculous. One of the things he'd taken great relief in was the notion that nothing could ever come of Buffy's relationship with Spike. There wouldn't be any little Spikey's running around the place. So, who was the father?

Tara and Dawn stood still, on guard for any sudden movements from Xander. When Xander grabbed the picture, they both expected him to do one of two things: faint or rant. He wasn't doing either. He simply stared at the picture, not in anger or disgust.

Willow looked equally perplexed. Being Xander's oldest friend and confidant, she knew this wasn't going to be easy for him to accept, but his behavior was surprising to her. She'd expected him to totally lose it, throwing things and cursing Spike and Buffy. Maybe, she had underestimated the amount of maturing Xander had done in the last week. Yeah, and maybe, I'll go straight again.

"Do you think we should shake him or something?" Dawn whispered to Tara.

Tara shook her head. "I don't know. He doesn't look upset." Tara tilted her head to get a better look at him. "Look he's smiling." She pointed out.

Xander smiled. He understood all the secrecy, now. Buffy had slept with Riley when he came back. Wow! Man, he felt bad for Sam, but Buffy and Riley had history. Unfinished history, at that.. That had to be it, he thought, looking up from the photo in his hand.

"Is Buffy going to tell Riley about the baby?" He inquired, handing the picture back to Willow.

"What?" Dawn squawked. "Riley. Why would Buffy tell Riley about the baby?"

Xander could have kicked himself for not realizing how Dawn might react to Riley. She obviously didn't want Riley involved in the baby's life. Riley's reappearance would definitely signal an end to Spike and Buffy's relationship, if you could call it that.

"Sorry, Dawnie, but come on. Riley has a right to know he's a father. I know you're concerned about Spike, but doesn't this child deserve to know his father?"

Dawn's eyes bulged out of their sockets. SHe shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs.

"She will know her father. He's not going anywhere." Dawn said, slowly.

Willow's mouth gaped open. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Xander wasn't this dense. Was he? No, he's in shock, that's all. "Xander, maybe you should sit down?" She suggested.

"Why?" He asked, finally noticing Willow's stricken appearance. "What? Spike does know this baby's Riley, doesn't he?" Xander looked around the room, still not understanding why everyone was looking at him strangely.

"Dawnie, run upstairs and get Buffy. Xander, it's best if you talk to Buffy about this. She can explain things much better than we can." Tara said unsure if even Buffy would be able to make Xander see the truth.

Dawn walked past Xander, shaking her head. "Spike's going to love this." She said under her breath.

Willow sat on the couch, patting the seat next to her. "Sit down, Xander. Buffy will be down in a minute." Tara sat on the other side.

"Will, I'm okay. Hey, it's a shock. I mean, The Ry Man and Buffy aren't the cheating types." All Willow and Tara could do was nod their heads in agreement.

Dawn stopped outside of Buffy's door, listening. When she didn't hear any of the usual Spuffy noises, she knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in," rang out from inside. Dawn pushed the door open, and stuck her head inside.

Buffy was half-asleep. "Sorry to disturb you, but we have a situation downstairs that needs your attention."

Spike sat up, noting the mischievous gleam to Dawn's blue eyes.

"What kind of situation?" Buffy asked, warily. "It can't be that bad. I don't hear any screaming."

"Out with it Nibblet. You look ready to burst." Spike said impatiently.

"Well," Dawn drawled. "Xander accidentially saw the ultrasound of the baby."

"What is it with everyone accidentially finding out my business?" Buffy said, irritated.

"That's not all of it." Dawn grimaced. "He thinks Riley's the baby's father."

"What?!" Spike and Buffy shouted.

"That bloody idiot!" Spike said, highly amused.

"Are you sure, Dawn?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

Dawn nodded her head, a slight smile on her face. "He saw the ultrasound. Stared at it for a few minutes, then started with the crazy talk."

"He actually thinks Buffy would have an affair with a married man?" Spike said dumbfounded. " Buffy would never do something like that. This is unbelievable."

Buffy giggled softly, pressing her hand to her sore ribs. This entire situation was too hilarious to believe. "When exactly did I have time to sleep with Riley? I was a little busy that day." Buffy grimaced as she laughed again.

"Who knows how Xander's mind works? What I do know is you need to go down there and tell him the truth?" Dawn told her.

"What are the witches doing?" Spike asked, still shaking his head over Xander's stupidity.

"They're trying not to break out into hysterical laughter." Dawn said, pointing to Buffy.

"Hey, I'm allowed." Buffy said, scooting off the bed. She pulled her sweats over her stomach.

"What are you doing?" Spike asked her, yanking the pants down to their regular position. "The cat's out of the bag, luv. He knows you're pregnant."

"I know, but what am I going to say to him?." Buffy sank back down on the bed.

Spike bent in front of her, taking her hands. "How about this? Spike and I are having a baby." He suggested. "It really doesn't matter what you say. He's not going to change the truth."

"You're going to enjoy this, aren't you?" Buffy asked him, smiling slightly.

"Nah, Pet, because I know it's going to hurt you." Spike said, kissing her. "Now, get off your duff, and go down there."

"They killed the leader. So, no more Kalstas to worry about." Xander commented.

"Yeah, so they're safe from this particular pack." Willow was saying as Buffy came into view.

"Buffy." Tara said, relief evident on her face. She and Willow had successfully steered the conversation away from the baby, but it was like a huge pink elephant in the room. You couldn't ignore it, no matter how hard you tried.

"Guys, could you give me and Xander some privacy?" Buffy asked, hoping Spike wouldn't be difficult. Her eyes widened when she realized the entire room had emptied out, leaving only her and Xander. Chickens. She thought.

Xander stood up and embraced Buffy tightly.

"Ribs, Xander. Ribs!" Buffy moaned.

"Sorry." Xander apologized. "So, I'm assuming the baby is alright." He asked concerned.

Buffy eased down on the sofa, and waited till Xander joined her. "Yes, the baby is fine. I know you've got questions. I just wanted to apologize first for not telling you myself about the baby." Buffy began.

Xander squeezed Buffy's clenched hands. "It's okay, Buffy. I haven't been the most approachable person lately." Xander said, patting her thigh affectionately. "You're telling me now, and I couldn't be happier for you. And about Riley? Don't worry. My lips are sealed."

Buffy ached seeing the sweet expression on Xander's face. She knew her next statement was going to devastate him.

"Xander, Riley isn't the father." Buffy said quickly, peering into his eyes to gauge his reaction.

"Oh, it was an one-night stand, then." Xander said, disappointed with the news, only because it meant Spike would be staying.

Buffy was speechless and angry. What kind of person did he thinks she was? "No, there was no one-night stand. There was no affair with Riley. Spike got me pregnant." She said, giving up on trying to finesse the truth for Xander.

Xander blinked. "Spike?" He asked, confused. "That's not possible, Buffy. You must be mistaken."

Buffy stood up, wincing at the foolish gesture. "I'm not mistaken. I haven't slept with anybody else. Spike's been my only lover." She said, raising her voice. "Look, Xander, I know this is hard to comprehend, but through some wacky prophecy, Spike got me pregnant. We are having a baby."

Xander looked at her, like he was seeing her for the first time.

"You're pregnant with Spike's baby. Oh." He said, zoning out.


Willow said he shut down to protect himself. The truth was just too much for his mind to take. They were gathered around the sofa staring at the motionless Xander.

"What if he doesn't wake up?" Dawn asked, trying not to laugh. Spike elbowed her, and she put on a serious face.

"Well, Buffy eventually came out of her trance. Maybe, we need to leave him alone for a bit." Spike suggested.

"Maybe, Tara can do that spell I used on Buffy." Willow alternated between patting Xander's cheeks and squeezing his fingers.

"That spell is too powerful to use on Xander." Tara told them.

"Especially with that weak mind of his." Spike mumbled under his breath.

Buffy spun on Spike, angry, frustrated, and tired. "Not helping, Spike."

Spike threw up his hands. "What would you like for me to do, Buffy? Feel sorry for him? I don't think so. Do you really think he would have been concerned about my reaction if that baby was Riley's? I don't think so." Spike said harshly. Buffy teared, and Spike felt like a pig.

"Let it go, guys. You're both exhausted and strung out. Look, we need to figure out something. We either do the spell or we leave him here to snap out of it on his own." Dawn bent to take a better look at Xander. She waved her hand in front of his face. No reaction. She snapped her fingers near his ears. Nothing.

"It's up to you, but I think he'll come out of it. Xander's just upset. He'll get over it.." Dawn stifled a yawn. "I'm going to bed. I'm beat. Wake me, if anything interesting happens." Dawn bade everyone goodnight.

"The kid makes sense." Spike said, taking a chair from the dining room and straddling it.

"She does, but I feel bad. We can't leave him like this. It's not natural." Buffy said, worried.

There was a knock at the door. Seeing as how everyone Buffy knew was here, that only left one person. "Hi, Anya." Buffy said, opening the door.

"Hi, Buffy. Sorry, I'm late. I had so many customers come in at 8:30pm. Is everyone here?" Spike saluted her. Anya turned and saw Xander and Willow on the sofa, with Tara pacing next to them.

"Hello, Xander." Anya said, dryly.

Anya threw her purse down on the weapons chest. "What, you can't speak?" She said annoyed.

Tara took pity on her. "Xander's not himself right now." She explained.

Anya saw the ultrasound sitting on the table. "Oh, he saw this. Well, you knew he was going to find out sooner or later." She rolled her head side to side, looking over the picture. "Cute little blob, Buffy. So, are we still having this meeting or not?"

"No, we're not having a meeting. If you hadn't notice, Xander's comatose." Willow said angrily.

"Excuse me, but Warren is still out there. We could have been killed tonight, and you think I'm waiting around for Xander to grow up." Spike said, pushing the chair away as he stood up.

"You don't care, Spike. Xander's been through a lot." Willow said, defending her friend.

"He did it to himself. So, no, I'm not feeling very charitable towards the whelp." Spike shouted back.

"Neither am I." Anya added. "Were you not there when he dumped me at the altar? He was a coward then, and he's doing the same thing now." Anya angrily reminded her.

"Stop it!" Tara said, whistling loudly. "This isn't helping. Yes, a lot of what has happened to Xander is his own fault, but that doesn't mean we stop caring about him."

"Thank you, Tara." Buffy said grateful for the cease-fire.

"I'm sorry, Willow. I can't wait for Xander to wake up. My baby's safety is too important. Your safety is too important. Do what you can for him? We'll be in the dining room if you need us." Buffy turned away and walked into the dining room. Spike joined her, regretting his earlier outburst.


Giles stared at the phone, uncertainly. Olivia knew the information he had for Buffy was unsettling. "You have to tell her, Rupert. She deserves to know. You've told me about this Spike. He seems to love her very much. I don't see the same thing happening to them." She said, caressing Giles' furrowed brow.

"Thank you, Olivia. It's Buffy I'm concerned about. She may not take the news well." He said, staring at Charles Jayme's diary.

Olivia picked up the phone, and hit speed dial. "You won't know until you tell her." She kissed him on the cheek, and left the room to give him some privacy.


The phone rang in the Summers' house and the youngest Summers snatched it up before anyone else could.

"Hello." Dawn said, sleepily.

"Dawn. It's Giles. Sorry to wake you." He said, looking at his watch. It was only 9 o'clock there. He wondered what Dawn had been doing to force her to bed so early. "Are you ill?"

"No, I'm fine. Busy night." Dawn said, coming fully awake. "How are you?" She said excitedly. "Where you able to decipher the text, because let me tell you, we need some good news."

"What has happened? Is it the baby?"

"In a way, it's a big baby." Dawn groused. "Xander found out about the baby, and freaked. He's in a stupified trance in the living room."

Dawn sat up rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She could hear Giles chuckling in the background.

"You say he's in a trance? Have they been able to get any reaction from him?" He asked, trying to take the situation seriously.

"I don't think so. They were still arguing over what to do when I went to bed." Dawn stretched the cord as far as she could and opened her bedroom door. "Any news on your front?"

"Actually, I was quite successful in deciphering the rest of the text. I was also able to obtain Charles Jayme's diary from the archives."

"That's great. Let me get Buffy."

Giles jerked the phone away from his ear as Dawn screamed Buffy's name. If that didn't snap Xander out of this ridiculous escape from reality, nothing would.

"Hello, Giles. What's up?" Buffy stood against the wall, facing everyone. They were all anxious to hear what Giles had found.

"Buffy, I finished the text, and it is indeed a prophecy. The baby was fated." He said carefully.

"She was." Buffy said breathly, smiling broadly at Spike. "In a good way or bad?" She asked cautiously.

"Well, I believe in a good way, Buffy. Just listen and you decide." Giles cleared his throat.

<>

"Do you know what this time of pure emotion is?" Buffy asked.

"Love, Buffy. It is the purest emotion known to man. At the moment of conception, your feelings for Spike were untainted. They were pure." Giles stated firmly.

"Tainted by what?"

"Fear, hatred, anger. Any of those emotions. For that one moment in time, you loved Spike." Giles told her.

"The demon and the man." Buffy said, turning to look at Spike.

"Yes. You loved them both without reservation."

"Uh huh, I did." Buffy said remembering. "Why don't you tell Spike what you just told me?" Buffy said caressing Spike's face before heading upstairs.

"Giles, what's going on? Where you able to translate the text?" Spike asked, concerned about Buffy.

"Yes, I was. I just told it to Buffy. I'll discuss it with you later. I wanted to talk to you about what I found in Jayme's diary." He said.

"I don't like that tone Watcher. What did you find?" Spike said, taking the phone into the kitchen.

"Jayme became Martine's Watcher in 1787 after she was called. In 1788, she met the vampire, Henri Grenier. They fought each other repeated. Neither one able to best the other. One night, he claimed her. After that, Jayme writes, Martine was totally in thralled with Henri. She wasn't able to be an effective Slayer. The Council sent Martine away to cleanse her from the thrall. It took some time, but eventually, the effects of the claiming wore off, and Martine became involved with a human."

The crease in Spike's forehead deepened as he listened to Charles Jayme's description of Martine and Henri's relationship.

"Henri eventually found her." Giles continued, unaware of Spike's lapse in concentration. "She was pregnant by her human lover. Yet, Jayme offers no explanation for how the rumor was started about the baby's parentage." Giles interjected.

"Henri killed Martine shortly after the baby's birth. There is no mention of the baby. I'm assuming Henri killed the child. The last entries in the diary detail Jayme's hunt and subsequent kill of Henri Grenier."

Spike cracked his neck. "Is that all, Giles?" He said, deceptively calm.

"Yes, Charles Jayme resigned his commission. He moved his family to New Orleans, and was never heard from again." Giles put the diary down beside him on the sofa. He knew Spike would have questions.

"You know that whole thing is a crock of shit, don't you?" Spike said, his voice edge with anger.
"For all you Watchers do know about vampires, there's a lot you don't. Martine Auberjonis wouldn't have been able to go a hundred yards from Henri if she was in his thrall. It would have been physically impossible. The craving for Henri's bite would have driven her insane if the bond wasn't renewed."

"I know that Spike. So what's the truth in your opinion?" Giles mockingly asked.

"They were in love. They fulfilled the prophecy. They had a child. The Council hunted them down and killed them. The Watcher felt guilt for what happened and ran away to New Orleans." Spike stated.

Buffy stood on the stairs in the doorway. "Spike?" She croaked out, her hands on protectively on her belly.

"Giles, let me call you back." Spike hung up before Giles could say anything. He opened his arms, and Buffy slid into them, her head resting on his chest. "They killed them all. Oh, god, they killed the baby, Spike."

"Yes, they did, Pet. They killed them. " He pulled her head back. "I'm sure they thought their reasons were just."

"No, don't. There is no good reason for killing a child, Spike." She said angrily, pulling away from him.

Spike came up behind her, rubbing her shoulders. "I know you're scared, but they'll never get their hands on Bitty. We'll disappear. No one would find us."

The phone rang and this time Buffy answered it. "Yes, I kinda guessed that." Buffy said.

"Buffy, I wanted to get Spike's opinion before I told you. I knew this would upset you. It upset me when I read it , but it was a lie." Giles had taken the opportunity to pour himself a stiff drink. He sipped the rich, amber liquid slowly.

"I knew the Council could be evil, but a little baby, Giles. They killed an innocent child for no reason." Buffy looked down to the ground, her mind going over the prophecy again. "They knew about the prophecy. They knew the child would be powerful." Spike turned her around, and lifted her chin with his finger. What? He mouthed to her.

"Giles, here's Spike. Read the prophecy to him. I need to check on something with Willow." Buffy's anger at the Council had increased ten-fold when she realized the real reason behind Martine's death. And she knew where the real answers were.


Spike watched as his little determined Slayer stomped out of the kitchen. Buffy ran head-on into Dawn, who'd been eavesdropping. "Sorry. I just wanted to know what Giles had found."

"That's okay. Don't be scared. No one's going to hurt my baby." Buffy said resolutely. Dawn followed Buffy into the living room.

"Willow, you said Charles Jayme settled in New Orleans. Are any of his family still living there?"

Willow gave Xander an affectionate pat on the cheek, then went to get her computer. She pulled up the file folder that contained the geneological history for Charles Jayme. Willow scrolled till she found the information Buffy was looking for. "Here, Buffy. It says there is a great-great granddaughter living in Meterie, Louisiana. It's about 30 minutes outside of New Orleans." Willow looked up. "Why?" She asked.

"Well, Giles found Charles Jayme's diary. It was filled with lies about Martine and Henri." She placed her fingers over her lips to keep from crying. "And their baby. The Council killed them."

Anya, Tara and Willow were stunned.

Buffy steadied herself. Now wasn't the time for a breakdown. "I want to get in touch with that woman. I'm hoping she'll have his real diary."

"Why would their be a second diary?" Dawn inquired, coming to stand beside Buffy.

"I'm hoping Charles Jayme's guilt forced him to keep some account of what actually occurred." Buffy said, her voice calm.

"What did he do?" Tara asked once the shock and horror had subsided.

"Martine trusted him and he betrayed her. Charles Jayme killed Martine and her baby." Buffy's eyes had narrowed into slits.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, terrified by what Buffy was implying.

"Martine would have contacted him about the baby. He was probably the only person she would have trusted with the news. Jayme went to the Council and told them where she was hiding." Buffy's body was stiff, reflecting the amount of control she was exerting.

"That's the same conclusion we came to." Spike told them, startling Buffy with his touch to her arm. "Giles, thinks the Council allowed Jayme to leave the country and set up a new life, as long as he never told what really happened to Martine."

"Are you going to New Orleans, then?" Anya asked, taking a seat on the sofa. She glanced at Xander, and shook her head disgusted.

"Yes." Buffy stated emphatically.

"Buffy, what did the prophecy say exactly? If the Council thought it was something bad, then maybe that explains what they did?" Tara winced after saying this. She didn't want to believe there were people that evil in the world.


Spike squeezed her shoulder, urging her to tell them. Buffy repeated verbatim what Giles had read to her. They all nodded, listening intently. When she finished, she leaned into Spike.

"That's amazing, Buffy. The Council knew all along there was a chance a Slayer and a Vampire would conceive, yet they allowed you and Angel to date." Dawn said.

"There was never any chance of me having a baby with Angel." Buffy said embarrassed. "The Council knew if we ever achieved that pure emotion, Angelus would return."

"But Angelus did return and you didn't get pregnant." Tara said as confused by this as Dawn was. Spike stood behind Buffy, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He knew what she wasn't telling them. The Powers never intended for Angel and Buffy to be together. It was always going to be them.

"Oh, I get it." Anya said, getting up from the sofa. "The curse." She said as if the answer was obvious. Spike's grinned spread.

"Right you are demon girl." He said. She bowed slightly.

"The curse?" Willow repeated. "Oh, I see. Angel could never love you without worrying about Angelus. The curse meant he always had to be on guard. There was always going to be something to prevent him from being truly and completely happy. So when you conceived, you didn‘t have any of those things holding you back. You loved Spike totally and completely." She paused, tears in her eyes. "That's so romantic."

Buffy could sense all eyes on her, but she felt Spike's boring a hole into her scalp. "Fine. I loved him." She admitted grudgingly. "I even know when the baby was conceived."

Spike spun Buffy around. "You know when it happened?" He asked her softly.

"Ah ha, I've got something on you for once." She teased. The rest of the world ceased to exist as they stared into each others' eyes. She crooked her finger, beckoning him closer. "The night of Mom's anniversary. I opened my heart and let go, and it was beautiful." She said running the back of her hand down his face.

“But you ran away.” Spike said, still hurt.

“I ran away because it was too much. It was like being open to everything. I felt everything, and I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to love because loving someone meant they’d leave, so I ran.”

“I should have come after you.” Spike said. “Then, all this other stuff wouldn’t have happened.”

Buffy laid her head on his chest, sighing heavily. “Doesn’t matter. We’re here now. We’re going to have a baby. If going through all that pain and bullshit, got us her, then I’ll take it.” Spike peered into her hazel eyes and saw the truth there. It all came down to this innocent being. He’d sacrifice everything for her.

"Hello, we're still here." Anya singsonged. Buffy and Spike shook their heads, laughing. They had totally forgotten about the rest of them.

"Sorry." They said.

"Don't mind Anya. Come on, Buffy. You've got to tell us. We have a right to know." Dawn said with a pout.

"Oh, do you?" Spike teased. Buffy smiled at their matching smirks.

"It was the anniversary of Mom's death." She said, watching Dawn carefully.

Dawn immediately teared. “Do you think Mom knows about the baby?”
“I think so.” Buffy said thoughtfully.

"From death comes life." Tara stated quietly. “Life is a cycle. It’s always renewing itself. I don’t think it’s a coincidence you conceived on the anniversary of your mother’s death, Buffy. You may have not been ready to accept your heart without a little push from Joyce.” Tara reasoned.

“Stop it, now!” Anya told them. “I’m getting emotional. I think I’ve done enough crying in the last month. I don’t want to get weepy again.”

“Anya’s right. This is no time to get weepy. We’ve still got to figure out when Warren’s going to hit the Army base, and how we’re going to get Xander out of dreamland.” Buffy stated, coming to stand in front of him.

“Is there any way to make him more comfortable? He’s giving me the heebe jeebies with the open stare thing.”

“I can try to ease him into a more normal dream sleep, but then he might not want to return to this one” Tara suggested. In reality, what she wanted to do was slap Xander silly for doing this to them. Buffy needed all her friends to get through these next 6 months. Xander had to know that nothing was going to come of this. Buffy and Spike were having a child together. They were going to be a family with Dawn and the baby. And the goddess willing, for a very long time.

“No, let’s not do anything like that. Believe me, I know how attractive life away from Sunnydale would be. I almost chose that other world myself.” Buffy said.

“Tape his eyes closed, then.” Spike suggested as he came back into the room. He held a sandwich in one hand, and a glass of milk in the other. He shoved both into Buffy’s face. She scrunched her nose at him, but one look at the chicken salad, and her mouth watered.

“Eww! We’re not taping them closed.” Willow shouted. Then, her eyes widened. “Hold on, a minute.” She ran up the stairs to her bedroom. A few minutes later, she returned with an eye mask. “We can use this.”

“Ah, Willow, that’s a gel mask to remove puffiness.” Dawn laughing told her.

“I know, but maybe, it’s soothing effects might help him.” Willow said, embarrassed now.

“I’m sure that’ll be fine, Will. Here, let me help you get it on him.” Tara offered. Hell, anything had to be better than Xander staring at them like a zombie.

“Okay, now that the whelp is all comfortable, why don’t we get to work.” Spike suggested. Buffy nodded, taking a bite of the sandwich.

They spent the next few hours, discussing the shipments Warren could attack and why. Each shipment scheduled to be delivered to the base on its own would be worth a great deal on the black market. They all agreed, though, that Warren was after power. Money would get him power, but then he’d have to share it with whoever bought the goods. No, Warren would go after the one thing that would ensure his dominance over Sunnydale and the world.

Buffy lay in bed, staring at the picture of her unborn child. Spike stood in the doorway, watching her.

“Penny for you thoughts, luv.” He said, closing the door behind him.

“I look at it, and I still can’t believe it. I feel her growing everyday, but seeing what’s actually going on inside me. It’s a little humbling.”

“Yeah, to me too.” Spike lifted the covers and slid in next to her.

“Are you scared, Spike? I mean about this whole parent thing?” She asked, snuggling closer to him. Spike rested his chin on her shoulder.

“A little. I wonder how I’m going to explain what I am to her. How can I tell her not to do wrong, when I don’t have a soul.” Spike sighed, his cool breath tickling her ear.

“Having a soul doesn’t matter. I told you that. Warren has a soul and he killed Katrina. The Council have souls and they killed Martine and her baby. I think you’ll be a better parent than I will. You‘ve always known what to do with Dawn. When to give her space, when to talk to her. I‘m flying blind here.” Buffy stroked the tiny image, her heart bursting with love for her child.

“Well, you won’t be going it alone. I’ll be here. Dawn, Red, Glenda, Anya. They’ll all be here with you.”

“Do you think Xander will ever forgive me?” Buffy asked.

“Forgive you for what? Creating a miracle child. You don’t owe him anything, Buffy. If he can’t accept us, you, me, the baby, then you don’t need him.”

“But I do, Spike. I need him, like I need you. You’re all a part of my life.”

“I know Buffy. I know, but I don‘t want you to get your hopes up with Xander. He loves you. He wants what‘s best for you, and that‘s not me, and especially not my baby.” Buffy turned in his arms, holding him tight, wishing she didn’t have to choose between her oldest friend and her future.


The house was dark, quiet, except for the usual night sounds. Xander took a deep breath and looked out at his surroundings. All he saw was blackness. All he felt was cold.

“I‘m blind. I‘m blind.” He shouted, raising his hands to his eyes. He felt the mask on his face, and pulled it off. Looking at it strangely. Where am I? He wondered. He looked around the room. Buffy’s living room. His mind slowly recalled the events of the evening. He went to Buffy's. Spoke to Willow and Tara. Looked at photos. Photos of what? He searched his brain. What was the photo of? Xander rubbed his eyes. It was an ultrasound. An ultrasound of a baby. Who's baby? Oh, that's right. Buffy's baby. Buffy's baby with ... "SPIKE!!!"

Spike and Buffy shot up, startled out of a deep sleep. Spike grabbed his pants, pulling them on as he raced for the door. Buffy grabbed her sweats and Spike's shirt and followed him down the stairs. Willow and Dawn also came rushing out of their rooms.

Xander covered his eyes, screaming over and over "Oh, my god! Oh, my god!"

Buffy shook him till he stopped to look at her. He looked from Buffy's worried face to Spike's smirking one, and started to scream again. Buffy smacked him. "Stop it, Xander! You're only going to make yourself sick." Buffy said, pushing him back against the sofa. "Now, I know you're in shock, but you really need to calm down. "

Willow rushed over to Xander, pushing past Spike to throw her arms around his neck. "Xander," she said excitedly. "You're awake. We were so worried."

Xander looked around the room. They were all staring at him, like he'd grown a second head. Spike was looking at him with disdain, and the weight of what he'd found out, pressed on him.

"I think I should go." He said, starting to get up.

"Oh, no you don't." Buffy said, forcefully pushing him back down. "We're going to get this all out in the open, because to be honest, I have other more important things to deal with. I'm not wasting one more day worrying about you. You're a grown man. I'm a grown woman. I'm having a baby with a man I love. Deal with it."

"Deal with it. You're having a baby with a vampire, Buffy." Xander shouted back at her. "It's a big deal, if you ask me?"

"No one did, you ponce." Spike remarked heatedly.

"How did you do this?" Xander said accusingly to Spike. "How did you impregnate her with ..." He said pointing to Buffy's stomach.

"Don't say another word, Xander." Willow said, angrily. "Before you say something, that will likely get you hurt." Dawn had her hand on Spike's arm, knowing he was about to throttle Xander.

"Look, I'm not trying to hurt you Buffy, but you can't expect me to understand this." Xander stood up, preparing to leave.

"I can and I do expect you to understand. I would do the same thing for you." Buffy said, pushing her hair behind her ear. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"We have nothing to talk about." Xander said icily.

"Yes, we do. You're my friend. I love you."

Spike watched the scene in front of him with mixed emotions. While he hated the whelp with a passion, he knew Xander was important to Buffy. Dawn stood beside him, and her presence gave Spike pause. His friendship with Dawn was important to him. Before Buffy, there was Dawn. If anything threatened their relationship, he'd want to work things out too. So, he stood by with his anger in check, and listened to Buffy try to reason with Xander.

"Xander, please. You wanted the chance to talk to Buffy. Now, here it is." Xander winced at the pleading tone in Willow's voice. Her subtle reminder of their talk, though, only served to anger him.

"You knew!" He said accusingly, pointing at Willow, who stepped back. "You knew she was pregnant, and you never told me. You let me go on and on about how much I cared about her. I can't believe you. You're my best friend, Willow."

"I am, Xander. I just found out a week ago myself." Willow fought to keep from crying. She couldn't believe how badly this was going. "Xander, please. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"Huh! Some friend, you are." Xander huffed.

"Stop it, Xander!" Buffy shouted. "Your problem is with me, leave Willow out of this."

"What were you thinking Buffy?"

"I didn’t plan on getting pregnant, but I am. I won’t apologize for having a baby with the man I love.” Buffy said emphatically.
"You don't owe me an apology, Buffy. You don't owe me nothing." Xander remarked snidely.

"Right about that whelp." Spike said, pulling away from Dawn. "Who the hell are you to judge anything Buffy does?" Spike moved to stand beside Buffy. "Have you lived her life? Have you had to make the decisions she's had to make?"

Xander refused to let Spike put a guilt trip on him. "You don't know what I've gone through, Spike, so shut up!"

"Have you had to kill someone you loved?" Spike asked pointedly. "No, you haven't. Have you had a bull's eye painted on your back for 6 years? Does every demon want to increase his stature by killing you? No! You're sitting here whining because she didn't consult with you before getting pregnant. You're an idiot. You should be grateful she's put up with your sorry ass for all this time. After some of the stunts you've pulled, I would have some demon rip you apart. But that's me. She's," Spike said, slipping his arm around Buffy's waist. "A far better person than I am.”

No one said anything. Buffy's life wasn't anything to envy. They'd watched while she'd made the hard decisions, while she'd faced the dangers, but it had never really touched them. They were there voluntarily. Buffy had no choice. She was the Slayer. She was the Chosen One.

"Do you want to be a part of my life or do you want to say good-bye right now?" Buffy asked, deceptively calm. She looked up, her green eyes pained. "If you can't accept my baby, then I don't want you around. So, you make the decision right now. Do you stay or do you go? And if you go, know that I'll always be here for you if you need me."

Xander flinched. Buffy was serious. She would push him out of her life without a second glance. He didn’t want that. All he wanted was for things to return to normal. Who’s definition of normal, though. His conscience argued. This is what Buffy wants for her life. Her life. It reminded him again.

“So what’s it going to be Xander?” Buffy prodded.

"I don't want to lose our friendship, Buffy."

"What about the baby?" Buffy asked tentatively.

"I don't have a problem with the baby, just her father. That's nothing new. You can't expect me to accept Spike. He isn't innocent." Xander said, the beginnings of a smile on his face.

"No, he's far from innocent." Buffy laughingly admitted. Xander got off the sofa, pausing to hug Willow. "I'm sorry Will. I’m an ass. Please forgive me?" Willow hugged him, her eyes tightly closed.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both crying. Xander turned tentatively to Spike, Buffy, and Dawn. Look at them. His mind prodded him. They are a family. It finally struck Xander what had him so upset. Buffy really didn’t need him. She had all she’d ever need to make her happy. She had Spike. She had Dawn, and now, she had a baby. He could either continue to stubbornly deny his place in Buffy’s life, and lose her forever or he could work on finding his own happiness.

Xander stuck his hand out to Spike, who regarded the out-stretched hand warily. He looked at Buffy, and nodded. He gripped Xander's hand tightly, wanting to break the bones, but the thought of touching Xander any further caused him to yank his hand away awkwardly. Dawn giggled, and Xander smiled back at her.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I guess that’s not nearly enough to make up for all the grief I’ve given you, but I hope you know I thought I was doing it for all the right reasons." Buffy nodded her agreement. "I haven‘t been fair to you or Spike." Xander said sheepishly.

“I understand, Xander. I really do. I thought I was doing the right things, but they weren‘t. They caused a lot of heartache. So, if you need me to be there for you, I will. I‘ll always be there for you." Xander nodded, then reached for her tentatively. Spike nudged her, and Buffy embraced Xander.

“I’ve really missed you, Xander.” Buffy said, weeping. “I can’t do this without my brother. That’s what you’ve been to me. My brother, my best friend.”

“Tell me we can get that back, Buffy. I know I’ve hurt you, but I’d like to get back us back.” Willow walked up to her two best friends.

“I love you and Will so much. Please tell me I haven’t totally ruined everything we had.”

“No, you haven’t.” Buffy said, clutching him tightly. “We’ve survived worse. We can survive this.”
Maybe, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Buffy thought, looking at Xander and Willow.

“We're meeting tomorrow at the Magic Box around noon. We can talk before or after. Okay?" Buffy suggested.

“That’ll be fine. I’ll call you in the morning.” Xander said, preparing to leave.

"Xander, you might as well stay. The sun’s almost up." Dawn suggested.

"What?” Xander said amazed. “What time is it, anyway?" Xander asked, looking at his watch. It read 4:21am.

"Geez, how long was I out?" Xander asked incredulous.



Buffy moaned sleepily, twisting against the cool sheets. Wait a minute. She thought. Since when do my sheets kiss my neck? She smiled against the soft hair at her cheek. "Nice way to wake up, luv." She said, repeating Spike's words.

"Hey, sleepy head." Spike blew lightly on her neck, causing goose bumps to spread across Buffy's body.

"Umm, that's nice."

"If you think that's nice, I've got ..." Knock! Knock! "Damn! Go away!" Spike shouted at the door.

Buffy giggling replied. "Hold on."

Buffy threw the covers back, and slid out of bed. She stooped to pick up her robe, and opened the door a crack. Dawn stood on the other side, hoping from one foot to the other.

"Dawn, uh, what's up?" Buffy said, holding the collar of her robe closed.

"Well, let's see. Mr. Walker from Social Services stopped by for a surprise visit. Everyone's down stairs trying to explain why they are here, and you and Spike are up here playing footsie. That just about covers all that's going on with me today." Buffy reached out and pulled Dawn into the room.

Spike was sitting up in the bed, having heard part of the conversation. "What's with the surprise visit? I thought you'd been given the all clear."

"We were. Mr. Walker told me I was doing a terrific job on his last visit.” Buffy said confused.

"He wouldn't tell me what's going on, but he was asking Willow all these questions about you and whether or not you were planning on starting your own family soon." Dawn winced when Buffy became pale as a ghost.

"How did they find out about the baby?" Buffy peeked down the stairs, listening to the mumbled conversation down below.

“I don’t know Buffy. What are you going to do?” Dawn asked concerned. She shifted her gaze from Spike to Buffy. Buffy tapped her foot, trying to come up with a plan.

"Dawn, go tell Mr. Walker, I'll be down in a minute." Buffy closed the door behind Dawn and leaned against it. "How do you think they found out?"

"Who knows. It could have been anything. What are you going to say to him?" Spike stood up in bed, and dropped down in front of Buffy.

"The truth, I guess." Buffy bent to pick through the clothes on the floor. She found her sweats and a new t-shirt and pulled them on. "I know he's not going to be pleased I'm going to be a single mother." She said putting air quotes around the term.

"What if you weren't a single mother?" Spike asked, looking at her from under his lashes.

"Unless, you're planning on dropping to one knee to ask me to marry you, I'm going to be a single mother." Buffy joked, though, her stomach was doing cartwheels.

"No, I wasn't." Spike noticed with some interest the frown that creased her brow. "But if you want to pretend to be engaged, we can." Spike suggested.

"I don't mind, if you don't." Buffy answered, taking great interest in her toes. "We would need a ring to make it real."

Spike turned away, with his back to Buffy, and dug in his coat pocket. He pulled a velvet pouch out, and handed it to Buffy. Buffy looked suspiciously at the bag, before pulling the ends apart. She shook the contents out and gasped. She'd never seen a stone that big before. She picked the ring up, letting the pouch fall heedlessly from her hand. She sat down on the bed, her eyes never leaving this gorgeous ring.

"It's beautiful." She said breathlessly.

"I was going to give it to you on Mother's day to celebrate being a Mom-to-be, but I guess this is as good a time as any." Spike took her left hand in his right, and slipped the 3-stone ring on her finger. It was a little big, but it shone brightly on Buffy's hand. The center stone was a diamond, with emerald baguettes.

Spike lifted Buffy's chin and saw she was crying. "Hey, now. What's with the tears?"

"If you had given me this on Mother's Day, there would have been a lot more tears. I love it. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I thought of you, when I saw it. I mean your eyes are green and they shine when you get angry." Spike said, lowering his head.

"Do they?" Buffy said, touched. Spike slid in between her parted legs.

"So, this is just pretend. Right?" Spike said, watching her twist the ring on her finger.

"I don’t want this to be pretend.” Buffy said breathlessly.

“Me neither.” Spike said, pulling her into a searing kiss. Buffy legs rose and crossed behind Spike’s back. Their tongues battled, trying to overpower the other. Buffy whimpered from the heat between her legs. When they finally broke apart for Buffy to breath, Spike peppered her chin with kisses, pushing her till they lay on the bed.

“I love you, Ms. Summers.” He said, lowering his head to kiss her stomach.

“I love you too, Mr. Develin.” Buffy closed her eyes, seeing flashes of light behind them. When she opened them, Spike was laying on his back, his eyes closed. Buffy looked around dazed. It was still dark, the first rays of the sun just barely peeking through the closed curtains. What the fuck? She thought. Buffy looked down at her hands, expecting to see the emerald and diamond ring, but it was gone. She fell back against the pillows, disappointed. It had all been a dream.

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