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Disclaimer: None of these Characters are mine. Joss Whedon brilliantly created them. I'm only borrowing them. I hope I do his characters justice.

Summary: Takes place after the Series Finale. Buffy is searching for closure and goes on a hunt to find it. She ends up getting more than she bargains for. Massively Spuffy!!

Please Review!! All comments and suggestions are really appreciated. I love to see who is reading my stories and what you think of them. Please make me happy and leave your opinion.

Buffy walked down the dark alleyway with that feeling in the pit of her stomach that she always had when she felt Spike was near. She kept walking in whatever direction made that feeling grow. She didn't know why she was doing it. It was impossible right? Spike was gone. He was dead. Sunlight had poured from his soul and dusted hundreds of ubervamps on the spot. She knew he wouldn't survive that. He couldn't survive that. All of Sunnydale was sucked into oblivion and he went crumbling down with it. Spike couldn't be any more than a pile of ashes now so why did she feel his presence so strongly?

She continued to follow that feeling until she rounded the corner and started to see light at the end of the tunnel. The end of the alleyway was near and she could see the sunlight that surrounded the city, stores and people. Being in the alleyway was like night and day and her eyes were trying to adjust to the sudden brightness of her destination.

Buffy heard a rustling sound come from behind a green dumpster at the end of the alleyway. It caught her by surprise and she backed up against the brick wall just watching and waiting to discover what the sound was. She heard footsteps and suddenly saw a male body come into view. It was still too dark and she couldn't make out his face.

She heard the flick of a lighter and the flame rose until the glow surrounded the man's face. As he lit his cigarette the flame allowed enough light for her to make out who it was. Buffy gasped and her heartbeat sped its pace. Her breath caught in her throat and she was too shocked to form words. She stayed frozen up against the wall just waiting for his next move.

He started to walk toward the light while she unsuccessfully attempted to yell out his name. He walked right into the sunlight and she wanted to scream. She waited for him to burst into flame and burn up in front of her eyes. Instead what she saw shocked her even more. He stood in the sun with his eyes closed as if he were taking it in for the first time and savoring it as if it were his last.

The sun lit up his face like she'd never thought she'd see it. His cheekbones became even more prominent and his bleached blonde hair seemed even brighter. His dark eyelashes lay on his pale cheeks as he just let himself soak up the warmth of the sun. He finally opened his eyes, which were such a brilliant shade of blue that she could see the color from where she was standing. Buffy so badly wanted to call out his name but the words still wouldn't come.

He started walking down the street and walked right out of her view. Her legs felt like jelly and she was trying to muster up the strength to chase after him. She started walking forward on wobbly legs and once she caught her balance, she started to run until she too was surrounded in sunlight. She squinted her eyes until they adjusted to her surroundings. Her eyes traveled in the direction she saw him go but she didn't see him anywhere. She spun around and looked in every direction but there was absolutely no sign of him. She hadn't moved fast enough and now she had lost him.

Buffy turned to the left and started running in the direction she saw him travel. She carefully took in her surroundings as she ran to make sure she didn't miss him. She started to panic when she still didn't see him. It was as if he had disappeared.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled as she finally found her voice again.

"Spike!"

"Buffy?"

"Buffy!"

Buffy felt hands grasping at her shoulders and strong hands starting to shake her.

"Buffy, wake up!"

Buffy sat up and saw Xander standing before her with his hands still grasping at her shoulders. It took a moment for her brain to comprehend the difference between her dream world and her reality.

She finally realized that she was in her bed surrounded by comforters and fluffy pillows. She looked around and observed her new bedroom as if seeing it for the first time.

Xander, Willow, Dawn and Buffy were now residing in a house together. They found a nice place in L. A. and decided to split the rent. They were all terrified of where their lives were headed after Sunnydale was destroyed but luckily they found jobs in the city and went on to resume somewhat of a normal life.

Buffy looked up to see Xander's worried expression.

"Buffy are you all right? I think you were having a nightmare."

"I..." Buffy started, her brow furrowed with confusion. "Uh, no. It wasn't a nightmare. Not really. Not until the end."

Xander looked at her and waited to hear about the dream but instead she just continued to sit up and blankly stare forward.

"Buffy? Are you sure you're ok." Xander asked as he rubbed her shoulder.

Buffy finally looked up at Xander in acknowledgement. "Can you bring the rest of the gang in here please?"

"Buffy, it's three o'clock in the morning. Everyone is sleeping."

"Please Xander." She pleaded with her eyes. "It's important."

Xander nodded and left the room to wake up Willow and Dawn. They both walked sleepily with Xander toward Buffy's bedroom. Dawn stopped them ten feet before reaching Buffy's door.

"Xander, what's going on? Why is Buffy having you wake us up in the middle of the night?"

"She had a bad dream Dawnie. She wanted to talk to all of us."

Dawn's eyes widened and grabbed his arm. "Oh God! Is it a slayer dream? Are we all in trouble?"

"There's only one way to find out." Xander replied and continued toward Buffy's room.

They walked through her bedroom door to find Buffy sitting on the edge of her bed in jeans and a T-shirt.

"Planning on going somewhere Buff? Xander questioned.

"Uh, yeah." Buffy answered quickly. "Sit down. There is something I need to talk to you about."

Dawn and Willow sat on the bed next to Buffy. Xander took a seat in the comfy chair next to the bed. They all stared at Buffy, intently waiting for an explanation.

"I had a dream that Spike was alive." Buffy announced. "He was really alive. He was able to walk in the sun. But at the end of the dream he disappeared. I couldn't find him. I didn't move fast enough." She looked down at her hands, as if ashamed that she wasn't able to locate him.

Confused glances were exchanged between Xander, Willow and Dawn. They couldn't figure out how this could be considered an emergency.

"Buffy." Willow spoke first. "It was only a dream. It's nothing to worry about."

Buffy looked up at willow. "That's just it. I don't think it was just a dream."

"What do you mean Buffy?" Dawn spoke up. "Are you saying you think this was some sort of slayer dream? You think it's a look into the future?"

"Not exactly." Buffy answered. "I think Spike is still alive and I need to find him."

"Buffy, don't you think you're jumping the gun just a bit." Xander added, leaning forward on his chair. "Not all of your dreams are slayer dreams. It could mean nothing."

"Maybe." Buffy admitted. "But it could also mean something."

"You probably just miss him Buffy." Willow suggested. "Dreams often tap into your wishes and fears. Remember that old saying "A dream is a wish your heart makes?" That's probably all it is."

"I guess." Buffy sighed heavily. "But I have to know for sure."

"All of Sunnydale was destroyed. The chance that Spike is still alive is slim to none." Xander said.

"Slim to none." Buffy repeated. "Which means there could be a slim chance that I am right. Spike could be out there somewhere. If he is, I have to find him. He has to know."

"Know what Buffy?" Willow asked, placing a hand gently over hers.

"That I love him." Buffy admitted slowly. Those words finally spoken to her friends gave her more of a relief than she ever could have imagined.

"I told him in the end, right before I left him. But he didn't believe me. I shouldn't have waited so long to let him know." Buffy continued.

"I'm sure he knew Buffy." Willow responded. "If all of us knew how you felt then I'm sure he did too."

"You knew?" Buffy asked with a stunned expression.

"Well, yeah." Willow said, glancing at Dawn and Xander. "We could see how you two were with each other. You were always so concerned about him. It was kind of obvious."

"It was?" Buffy asked, looking at Xander and Dawn for confirmation. They both nodded at Buffy in agreement.

"Well, that's probably it then Buff." Xander offered. "Your dream was all about closure. It's still bothering you that he didn't believe you. I'm sure there's nothing more to it than that."

"But what if there is?" Buffy sighed again in frustration.

"You can't go out there with nothing to go on." Dawn reasoned. "How are you going to find someone you are not even sure exists anymore?"

"I don't know." Buffy admitted. "But I have to try."

Buffy grabbed her coat and walked toward the front door with her friends trailing behind her. She turned the knob, opened the door halfway and turned back to her friends before she walked out.

"Don't wait up." Buffy said, before closing the door behind her.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 2:

Buffy roamed the streets in the black of night suddenly realizing that she had absolutely no plan. Dawn was right. How was she going to find someone she wasn't even sure existed anymore without any leads? It's been six months since Spike sacrificed himself to save the world. What if her dream was only to give her a sense of closure? She couldn't think like that though. She wasn't about to start doubting herself now. It wasn't just the dream that was pushing her to do this. She had that gut instinct that something wasn't quite right. She was never one to just sit around and do nothing.

She thought back to the time when she had to investigate to find whether or not Spike was evil again. The first thing she did was look around in clubs or bars and ask the bouncers if they had seen him. It seemed like a logical place to start this time around too. There weren't a lot of places open in the middle of the night but she knew she wouldn't be able to rest until she found one.

She spotted a bar that was open 24 hours. She walked inside to find that it was a lot more crowded than she had suspected it to be. She walked over to the bar and took a seat. She wanted to see if she could get any information from the bartender. They were the ones who usually knew everything that went on with the people who come in and out of the bar on a regular basis.

"What can I get for you sweetie?" The bartender asked with his handsomest of smiles.

"Uh, actually, I just came here to see if I could get some information."

"All right. What can I do for you?" The bartender inquired, never losing his smile.

"I'm looking for someone. Have you seen or heard anything about a guy with bleach blond hair possibly wearing all black with cheekbones from heaven? Buffy asked Hopefully. "He sort of has that Billy Idol look."

"Yeah! I've seen a guy who could fit that description."

"You have?" Buffy eyes lit up.

"Yeah. He's sitting right over there." The bartender pointed to a table toward the back.

Buffy looked quickly to where a man with bleached hair and a leather jacket was sitting all by himself. She still couldn't make him out very well. Suddenly, as if she willed him to do so, he stood up and started to make his way toward the bar. To her disappointment, his face was hidden by shadows. As he got closer she held her breath and silently wished for a miracle but soon she realized that it was definitely not Spike. He was apparently much older. He walked past her and the bar and walked out into the night.

"So, was that who you were looking for?" The bartender interrupted her feelings of disappointment.

"No. That definitely wasn't him." Buffy answered. "Although, I think that guy actually WAS Billy Idol."

The bartender chuckled. "I think you're right. I'm just sorry I couldn't be more of a help."

"It's ok." Buffy said, forcing a smile. "I'll just keep on looking. I should have known that finding him in the first place I looked was too good to be true. Thanks anyway."

Buffy continued her search. She stopped at every bar and club that was open at such an ungodly hour. After 5 stops and 13 security guards later, the sun started to rise and Buffy decided to head home.

She had made absolutely no progress and hated the fact that she had to return home just to announce that she had found nothing. She couldn't bare the sympathetic looks on her friend's faces and the knowledge that every one of them thought what she was doing was completely crazy.

An idea suddenly struck her and she was stunned she hadn't thought of it before. She now knew what she needed to do.

"Willow?" Buffy called as she opened the door to their apartment.

"Buffy! You're back!" Willow greeted happily. "So, How did it go?"

"Not so good." Buffy admitted. "But that's where you come in." Willow sprinkled her magical concoction into a circle and sat in the middle of it. She had a world map in front of her, knowing that if Spike was alive, he could be just about anywhere. Buffy watched as Willow quietly chanted to herself with her eyes closed and a look of intensity on her face.

After several minutes, a bright florescent light illuminated the map but faded almost as quickly as it appeared. Willow let out an exaggerated sigh and she looked up at Buffy with a frown.

"What? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, panic apparent in her voice.

"It's not working Buffy. I'm sorry."

"Well, what does that mean? He's really not alive? My dream really was just a dream?" Buffy asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Not exactly. I've done this kind of locator spell before and I'm getting a different vibe from this one. Something seems to be disrupting the spell. It's kind of like, if he is alive, he doesn't want to be found. I can't be certain but it feels like someone is trying to hide something. I'm so sorry Buffy. There's really nothing else that I can do." Willow bit her lip as she looked at her friend with the broken heart.

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed wondering where she went wrong. She knew something wasn't right. She just felt it. There had to be more to it than she was seeing. She refused to believe that she was losing her mind. This was much more than just missing him or wanting him to know how she really feels. They had a connection. She could feel it in her heart. She could feel it in her soul. She was missing something. She just had to find it.

"Buffy."

"Buffy."

Buffy opened her sleepy eyes to a deep soothing voice calling out her name. She sat up slightly to see Spike standing at the foot of her bed. The bright light of the moon was shining behind him, making him look like an angel.

She bolted upright and tried to settle her heart that was beating out of her chest.

"Spike? Please tell me it's really you."

"It's me, luv." Spike took a step toward her. "I feel like I've been waiting forever to see you again."

Buffy started breathing rapidly but when he sat down on the bed next to her, she could swear she stopped breathing completely. She looked into his eyes and his hand covered hers. He rubbed the top of her hand three times in slow circles before traveling up her arm. Light as a feather, his fingers reached her shoulder and ran up her neck. He touched her cheek and she closed her eyes feeling each and every caress with the greatest intensity.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked right into Spike's. "I'm glad you're here."

"So am I." Spike said in a whisper. "Too bad this isn't real."

"What?" Buffy asked with desperate fear in her voice.

"Buffy, you have to find me." Spike begged her.

"How? I don't know what to do. Tell me where you are." Buffy pleaded.

Spike wrapped his arms around her in a gentle embrace. Buffy held on tightly, never wanting to let go. Spike started to pull away but Buffy resisted. He gently rubbed her back before pulling back from her far enough to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Someone is keeping me from you, luv. If you find them, you'll find me." Spike slipped an arm around her waist and Buffy laid her head on his shoulder.

"Who is it, Spike? Who's keeping us apart?" Buffy's head left his shoulder and her eyes met his again.

"You have to figure it out, Buffy. You have to find me. Please find me. I can't live without you."

Spike slowly started fading away. Buffy desperately tried to keep a hold on him.

"Please don't leave me." Buffy said, trying to keep a grip on his arms.

Spike vanished and Buffy felt an enormous emptiness fill her entire being.

She opened her eyes and realized that she was still laying down, surrounded by her down comforter. It was just another dream but every second of it felt entirely real. She felt safe and warm as if he still had his arms around her.

She made up her mind then and there. Nothing was going to stop her from finding him. She believed with all her heart that he was out there somewhere. She didn't care if every person in the world thought she was delusional. She wasn't going to rest until he was back in her arms.

A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She spoke quietly to herself and to the heavens above, hoping someone out there would hear her.

"I miss you Spike and I will find you." She said as more tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "I promise you, I'll find you if it's the last thing I do."

To Be Continued....

Chapter 3:

Buffy lazily pushed the eggs around on her plate as she attempted to keep her eyes open. She couldn't fall back asleep after seeing Spike in her dream. She couldn't get her mind off of him. She kept wondering who it could be that she was supposed to be looking for. Who could possibly be keeping Spike from her? She wished the dream could have given her more information. The information she did get was just making her crazy with worry and was getting her nowhere.

Xander walked in and popped some toast into the toaster. He sat down across from Buffy and eyed her quizzically.

"Buffy, you look awful!" Xander exclaimed.

She looked up at him with an incredulous look on her face.

"Thanks!" Buffy smiled, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Sorry Buff, but you look like you haven't slept in days. I hope you haven't been spending all your time trying to look for Captain Peroxide."

Xander stood up to grab his toast and a knife to butter it. While his back was turned Buffy rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. Xander obviously missed the eye roll but the sigh didn't get past him.

Xander turned and furrowed his brow. "What's wrong?"

Buffy got up and stood in front of him. "How can you ask me that? You really have no idea what I've been going through in the past couple of days do you?"

"Buffy, it was just a dream!"

Her eyes widened. "It wasn't just a dream!"

"Well, I haven't seen any evidence to the contrary!" Xander argued.

"No, I haven't found anything yet but I plan to keep trying. Thanks for all of your help by the way." More sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Maybe I haven't been more of a help because I have more sense than to waste my time looking for a dead man!" Xander screamed.

Buffy's eyes filled with rage and she raised her palm, slapping Xander hard across the face.

Xander's head whipped back and he looked at her as his hand rose to cover up the redness from her slap.

Buffy's eyes turned from rage to shock as she has realized what she'd done.

"Xander I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to.."

"Buffy, what is wrong with you. You are being ridiculous!" Xander interrupted.

"How could you say that to me? You wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Spike! Nobody would! The only reason Sunnydale was the only place destroyed was because Spike cared enough to die for the rest of the world! He cared enough to die for me, for my happiness! He knew this was the only chance I had to live a normal life. He gave me the greatest gift of all and I will always love him for that. I refuse to turn my back on him!" Buffy exclaimed with dozens of tears now rolling down her cheeks.

Xander frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was that important to you." He walked toward Buffy and put his arms around her.

"Well, what would you have done if I had a dream about Anya like that? Would you have told me to just forget about it? Would you have just passed it off as just another dumb dream or would you have wanted to follow up on it?" Buffy asked, wiping her tear soaked face.

"You're right. I've been a jerk. If it were Anya, if there was any chance at all that she might still be alive, I would have gone to any lengths to find her." Xander admitted. "I guess I'm just so used to hating the guy that it's like a second nature to me. But I will always to grateful for what he did. I guess he wasn't so bad after all."

"Get some rest Buffy." Xander continued. "I'm going to go out and see if I can find out anything for you.

"Thanks Xander." Buffy smiled.

Buffy went back to the table to try and eat at least some of her breakfast, which was probably cold by now. She took a few bites of her eggs and ate a slice of toast when she felt herself starting to doze off again. She rested her head in her hand intending to rest her eyes for a few moments.

"Make sure you finish your breakfast, honey. You've got to start eating right."

Buffy picked up her head to see her mother standing beside her.

"Mom?" Buffy asked, looking around, silently praying that someone else would show up to witness this.

"You have to keep up your strength." Joyce said with a smile. "And dear, when you find Spike make sure you make him a nice cup of hot chocolate with those tiny marshmallows he loves so much. Make sure he knows it's from me."

"I will, Mom." Buffy responded. "Mom? Do you know where Spike is?"

"Of course I do, don't be silly. You will find out soon enough. Don't worry. The answers will come as soon as you stop looking." Joyce said, placing a loose strand of hair behind Buffy's ear.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"You are wasting too much energy on something that is right in front of your nose, Buffy. You don't have to go on searching anymore. Wait for your sign and the answers will come to you." Joyce bent over, gave Buffy a quick hug, then vanished into thin air.

Buffy felt something cold and squishy on her face. "Ewww!!" Buffy groaned as she woke up with her face in her breakfast. She took a napkin and wiped the egg off of her face.

Later that day Buffy had the gang gather around the living room for a Spike update. "Here's the deal." Buffy began. "I had a couple more dreams that have been fairly helpful. Last night, Spike was in my dream, begging me to find him. He said that someone was keeping him from me, I just had to find out who."

"Why didn't you tell me about that this morning Buff? Xander asked.

"We were too busy yelling at each other. It slipped my mind."

"Oh yeah." Xander said, guiltily bowing his head.

"You guys had a fight?" Dawn asked.

"Never mind that Dawnie. It's not a big deal. Everything is fine now." Buffy said. "Anyway, this morning I had another dream, this time with my mother."

"Mom?" Dawn's eyes lit up.

"Yeah." Buffy said, smiling at Dawn. "It was really strange. She mentioned Spike so I asked if she knew where he was. She said she did and that I would find out soon. She said I would get answers when I stopped looking. Then she told me to wait for a sign and the answers would come to me."

"So what does that mean? What do we do now? Willow asked.

"Nothing." Buffy said simply.

"Nothing? Dawn asked.

"Yeah. Mom has never let me down and if she tells me to stop looking then that is what I'm going to do." Buffy said with a nod. "We will just go on like we normally would."

"Ooh! Let's go shopping!" Willow suggested.

"Ugh! Shopping?" Xander whined.

"Don't worry Xander. We can stop somewhere so you can buy those comic books you still love so much." Willow said, grabbing her jacket.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Xander lied. "But I guess I could stop at a hardware store for something manly, like a power drill."

"Whatever you say, Xander." Willow smirked.

Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Dawn walked down the street with arms full of shopping bags. The girls had naturally bought a ton of clothes and Xander carried his huge paper hardware store bag filled with power tools. Xander snuck away for a little while leaving the girls to believe that he had bought some comics on the sly and hidden them in his hardware bag. He'd never admit it though, so they planned on snooping later.

They walked by a store and Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. Above the door was a huge sign. It showed a large fountain pen and next to it said "William's Books."

They gang had gone ahead, not realizing that Buffy had stopped. Willow noticed Buffy was gone and turned around to find her staring at the sign.

"What is it, Buffy?" Willow asked.

"My sign." Buffy answered and entered the bookstore.

Buffy walked around checking out different parts of the store while her friends lingered around the magazines. She heard some girls giggling in the isle next to her and couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

"He was so hot!" A teenage girl's voice said. "He was totally like my night in shining armor! My psycho ex-boyfriend was stalking me and when I told him to get lost, he started getting rough with me. That is when that total hottie showed up and kicked his ass!"

"Wow!" The girl's friend exclaimed. "What did he look like? Are you gonna see him again?"

"He had bleach blonde hair. He looked like a real bad ass. He wore black leather and had the most amazing pair of blue eyes I have ever seen!"

"Excuse me." Buffy interrupted from isle opposite the two girls. "I couldn't but overhearing. Could you possibly tell me where I could find this mystery man you were just talking about. I might know him. I've been looking all over for him."

"Haven't we all?" The girl mumbled to herself. "He gave me a business card or something and then he just took off." She said while fishing through her purse to find it. "Oh! Here it is!" It says "Angel Investigations." The girl looked up at Buffy and smiled.

Buffy went pale with shock as she looked at the girl. Her mouth fluttered open and closed, not knowing what to say.

"Are you ok." The girl asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Buffy answered flatly. "Thanks."

Buffy rushed over to her friends and they all looked toward her sensing that something was wrong.

"Guys, I'm gonna take off." Buffy said before any of her friends got the chance to ask her what was wrong. "There's somewhere I have to be."

"Where are you going, Buffy?" Dawn asked.

"To visit my Ex!" Buffy exclaimed as she ran out of the store.

To Be Continued....

Chapter 4:

Buffy had never driven so fast in her life. Unfortunately her driving skills left a lot to be desired and along the way she was close to hitting two squirrels, an old man with a cane trying to cross the road, a dog and a parking meter. She had hoped that her friends wouldn't be too upset with her for just leaving them there and taking the car but, knew they weren't too far from home so they would be all right. She just couldn't bring herself to stick around and explain everything that had just happened. She was too shaken at the moment and knew if she didn't get out of that store and run over to Angel's as soon as humanly possible, she would simply burst.

She sped into the driveway of the hotel and screeched to a halt. Preparing to go inside and meet her fate, she pulled the keys out of the ignition. A sudden feeling of panic stopped her and she froze still seated behind the wheel. Her heart started racing and she felt as if she could barely breathe, suddenly realizing she had no idea what she was doing. What if Spike wasn't even here? What if he was? What would she do? What would she say? But it was the biggest question of all that made her finally step out of her car. Why was she never told that Spike was still alive? She wondered who had kept him from her and why. She wondered if Spike even wanted to see her. Maybe him begging her to be found in her dream was just a fluke.

"There's only one way to find out." She whispered to herself as an answer to about a dozen questions still floating in her mind.

Buffy took so many deep breaths before reaching the door that she thought she would pass out. Her hands were shaking. Her head was spinning. Her life was about to change dramatically in a matter of minutes either for the worse or for the better. Not knowing was just about killing her and she finally opened the door and stepped into the lobby.

The lobby looked empty. There was no one in sight and no sound that would make her think anyone was there at all. She walked up to the front desk and peered into Angel's office, which was behind it and slightly off to the side. He was sitting at his desk quietly working.

Buffy cleared her throat to get his attention and he finally looked up at her. He instantly smiled at her but then his smile was quickly lost and replaced with wide eyes and fear. All it took was that one expression on his face to let her know that he was definitely hiding something.

Angel walked up to Buffy, the smile returning to his face. "Buffy! What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd stop by. I wanted to say hello and see how things were going." Buffy said, deciding to play it cool.

"Everything is great." Angel said quickly. "I'm glad you stopped by. I really am, but it's not really a great time. I'm working on something mighty important."

"Anything I can help with?" Buffy asked, her eyes searching the area around her.

"Uh, no. I really don't need any help with it. Maybe we could get together in a few days. We could meet up somewhere." Angel started to get shifty and his eyes traveled up toward the second floor.

Buffy's eyes followed the direction of his but quickly traveled back to his face. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No, of course not. I just thought it would be better to get together when I had a little more time."

Angel walked over to the door and opened it, hoping Buffy would get the hint and leave.

There stood Angel staring at Buffy, holding an open door and waiting for her to walk through it. Slowly, she made her way toward him. When she got closer to the door he backed off a little. Heading for the door, Buffy gave one last look at Angel and thought she saw him breathe a sigh of relief at the idea of her leaving. Instead of crossing the threshold, she grabbed the door, closed it, leaned back against it and remained inside.

Buffy looked up at him seeing confusion in his eyes accompanied by a bit of panic. She finally decided to cut the crap and get right to the point.

"So, where is he?" Buffy asked, pursing her lips in anger.

"Where is who?"

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Spike. That's who."

"Buffy, what are you talking about? Spike died in the last apocalyptic scare. Have you lost your memory again?"

"Don't play dumb." Buffy snapped.

"I'm not playing.."

"DON'T lie to me!" Buffy angrily interrupted. "I know he's here."

"Buffy, I swear.." Angel started but was interrupted by the sound of clanging metal.

"Stupid sodding plumbing! Doesn't anything work in his place?" Spike appeared at the top of the stairs holding a wrench. "I don't know why I have to fix every bloody thing around here." Spike started descending the stairs completely oblivious to what was going on around him. "I expected to be treated like Mr. Fix-it by Xander but I thought you knew I could be more useful than that. I'd like to get into the fight. Shake things up a bit but no, instead you have me playing the role of the bloody Irish Plumber."

As Spike reached the bottom of the stairs he finally saw that Angel wasn't alone. He saw Buffy standing there, staring at him as if she'd never seen him before.

A sudden gentleness appeared in Spike's eyes as he tilted his head and assessed the situation.

Buffy simply stared at Spike, who was wearing his traditional black jeans and T-shirt. She was surprised to find that even though she came here expecting to see him, it didn't do anything to lessen the shock of him actually standing in front of her.

She suddenly got very nervous and had to look away from Spike for a while to regain her composure. She looked at Angel instead, with venom in her eyes.

"So, how long has he been here?" She asked with a clenched jaw.

"Not too long." Angel answered shortly.

"How long?" Buffy repeated in a partial yell, getting very impatient.

"Three months." Angel answered, looking down at his shoes.

"Three months." Buffy stated in a huff, flailing her arms dramatically. "He's been here all that time and you couldn't even let me know! It's not as if I hadn't talked to you since then."

"Wait a second." Spike chimed in. "You said you called her! You said you told her about me!" He looked at Buffy, then pointed at Angel. "He said he called you!" He repeated, wanting badly to convince Buffy that this wasn't his fault.

"Why didn't YOU call me?" Buffy finally spoke to Spike.

"Angel here said he thought it would be better if you heard it from him, less of a shock and all. He made it sound like you didn't want to see me so I figured I'd just stay out of your way."

Buffy looked over at Angel with anger boiling in the pit of her stomach. "You told him what?" Buffy narrowed her eyes.

Angel just stared at her with his mouth opening and closing, unable to form words.

"You son of a bitch!" Buffy yelled, extending her arm back, swinging it forward and hitting Angel across the face with all her might, sending him flying into the weapons chest in the back of the room.

Angel landed with a grunt of intense pain. When he looked up, he saw Buffy with a remaining scowl and Spike with a smirk of satisfaction.

Buffy walked up to a now bleeding Angel with dangerous violence and betrayal in her eyes.

"How could you do that to me? How could you keep something like this from me? I trusted you!"

"Buffy, I thought I was doing what was best for you." Angel stood up, wiping the blood from his mouth.

"What was best for me?" She asked incredulously. "Why can't anyone ever let me decide what's best for me? Did you actually think you were doing me a favor? Did you actually think I would never find out? Or is there something else you're not telling me?"

Angel looked down and took a step toward Buffy. Spike waited in the wings and watched the battle unfold, not entirely sure what to do.

"Ok. Maybe there were some selfish reasons behind me not telling you." Angel admitted, still not looking at her face.

"Such as?" Buffy waited, desperately trying to hang on to the tiny bit of patience she had left.

"The last time I saw you, you spoke of the future and not being ready to choose that one person you wanted to be with. You said you weren't ready."

"Yeah, go on." Buffy wondered where he was going with this.

"I couldn't help but try and convince myself that I was what you needed. But I knew there were so many things I couldn't give you. I guess I just got scared. When Spike came back, I realized that he could give you all the things I couldn't. He has everything that should have been mine." Angel sighed and clenched his teeth at the realization that he was admitting all these things with Spike just 15 feet away.

"Angel, what are you saying? You aren't making sense."

Angel finally looked up at her, glanced over at Spike who was still patiently staying out of the way, then looked at Buffy again, making eye contact.

"Buffy." Angel sighed. "Spike came back human."

Buffy jumped a little as if she were stung. She tried to let the information sink in but still couldn't bring herself to face Spike.

Buffy's hands started to shake. "Oh boy. I think I need to sit down." To Be Continued..

Chapter 5:

Buffy walked over to the nearest available seat with shaky legs. She sat down and grabbed the edges of her chair with tight fists that turned her knuckles white. Still too nervous to turn around and look at Spike, she kept her eyes on Angel and waited for him to say something more. Much to Buffy's disappointment, he remained silent.

"Um, could you repeat that last part again?" Buffy asked, her eyes still on Angel.

"You mean the part about Spike coming back human?" Angel questioned.

"Yeah, that's the part. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't hallucinating." She chuckled nervously.

Spike finally came into view and Buffy forced herself to look up at him. She met his gaze but it was way too intense for her and the eye contact only lasted about three seconds. Continuing to clutch onto her chair, her eyes were now scanning the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Every bit of muscle strength she had was holding on to that chair in the most painful way. Sharp Pain was now shooting up her arms from the amount of anxiety that was flowing through her.

"I'm sorry Buffy." Angel spoke once again. "I should have told you. It was stupid of me to try and hide this from you."

"Yes. It was." Buffy replied coldly.

Angel frowned and sighed. He hated having Buffy this angry with him. Being on her bad side was not a place anyone wanted to be.

"I'm gonna take off for a while. I'll leave you guys to talk." Angel walked toward the door, but before he walked through it cast one last glance at Buffy. "I am sorry, Buffy. Please don't hate me." With that Angel walked out the door and left Spike and Buffy in an uncomfortable silence.

Buffy's gaze remained on the floor beneath her feet. After thirty painfully quiet seconds, Spike sat down next to her but much to his disappointment, she still wouldn't look at him. He just observed her for a few minutes hoping that she would say something and break this overwhelming feeling of nervousness.

"I swear, I thought you knew." Spike decided to speak first and break the silence. "The first thing I wanted to do was come look for you, but the grand poof wouldn't let me. He said it was too dangerous and that I should stick around here so they could find out why I came back."

"Please don't be angry." Spike continued. "If I knew what was really going on, I would have told that wanker to shove it and done everything I possibly could to find you."

Buffy still wouldn't acknowledge him. She kept her head down and this was frustrating Spike to no end. He feels like he's been waiting forever to see her again and he wasn't about to spend his time with her like this.

"Buffy, would you at least look at me?" Spike didn't hide the anger in his voice.

She finally glanced up at him with glistening eyes. Her chin trembled and Spike's brow furrowed in slight confusion. A lone tear fell down her cheek but before he could reach up and wipe it away, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him in a hug that was almost painful because of the amount of strength she put into it.

Buffy started lightly sobbing in Spike's arms. He lifted his hand to the back of her head and started stroking her hair. He closed his eyes and savored the moment of being able to hold her once again.

She pulled away from him and they locked eyes. Her face was flushed from crying and her eyes were now slightly red and swollen. She placed a hand on his cheek and continued to look into his eyes.

"You're warm." Buffy smiled.

It was so strange to feel warmth on his skin but being this close was helping the information sink in. Spike was really human.

Buffy leaned forward and placed her head on his chest. She stayed in that position for several minutes just to hear his heart beating. She just couldn't seem to tear herself away.

Spike looked down and witnessed an unusually content look on her face as she continued to listen to his beating heart. The sound was calming to her and feeling his chest rise and fall in sync with his breathing gave her the most amazing feeling of bliss. For the first time since Spike had known her, she had actually looked happy and it was all because of him.

He never thought it would be possible for him to ever make her feel that way. The feeling was overwhelming and tears began to cloud his eyes. He tried his hardest to hold them back but couldn't stop them from falling.

A tear of Spike's fell down his cheek and landed on Buffy's which still lay against his chest. She finally pulled away and looked up at him. Both of their hearts were racing.

"God, I missed you." Spike said with tearful eyes and bent forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe you are really here." Buffy said with closed eyes and a smile. "I'm so afraid that when I open my eyes I'm going to discover that this is just another dream."

"Open them and find out." Spike said in his usual low sexy voice that always seemed to give Buffy chills.

She opened her eyes and he was still seated in front of her. He fears were laid to rest. He was really there.

"How did this happen?" Buffy finally questioned, dying to know how he once again entered into her life.

"To make a long story short, it was the Powers That Be that brought me back. They had this bloody crazy idea that I could still be of some use around here."

"It's not so crazy." Buffy continued to stare at him in awe. "But you are going to have to be really careful now that you are human. There are a lot less demons and vampires around now thanks to you but being human is something that is gonna take some getting used to."

"You don't have to worry about me, slayer. I can hold my own. When the Powers brought me back, they kind of made me to their liking."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, they knew I wouldn't be much help to the world if I were just your average human that fought like a pansy. So they let me keep my vampire strengths. All of my senses are still enhanced like those of a vampire. My sense of smell and sight are stronger than ever. I'm exactly the same as I was except I can no longer shift into demon face and I can't be killed like a regular vampire. However, on the downside, I can be killed like a regular human. But I can still kick some major ass and that's what counts right?" Spike smirked and Buffy suddenly realized how much she missed his cocky smile.

"Spike, this is amazing."

"It's still strange though. I don't know what the bloody hell they were thinking bringing me back." Spike sighed.

"I'm glad they did." Buffy admitted with a tender smile and at that moment Spike was glad too.

Angel walked in the door interrupting their wonderful moment together. Spike sighed and rolled his eyes wishing Angel would have had the sense to stay away a little longer.

"So, you guys work things out?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, everything's good." Buffy answered with her eyes still on Spike.

"Good." Angel said with a huge ball of jealousy forming in his gut.

As he observed the two of them sitting on the couch together unable to take their eyes off of each other, he finally realized how close they really were. He knew there was something between them from what Buffy had said the last time he saw her but he had pushed it into the back of his mind where he hoped he'd never have to think about it again. Now he had to see it with his own eyes and there was no denying it anymore. They definitely had a connection.

Buffy stood up and faced Angel. She was still furious and he could see that anger still evident on her face.

"Well, I guess we should get going now." Buffy said to Angel with a smirk of her own.

"We? What do you mean we?"

"I mean Spike and I. He's coming home with me."

Spike's eyes widened as he heard this. He was shocked and instantly relieved. If he had to spend one more day with Angel he would surely have the urge to jump off this building.

"I don't think that's such a good idea Buffy. He hasn't been back that long. There's a lot he still has to get used to." Angel argued.

"Don't you dare fight me on this." Buffy scowled. "I will help Spike with anything he needs. He doesn't belong here. All you have him doing is meaningless chores anyway. Have you even trained with him at all to build up his strength since he's been back?"

Angel just looked down and remained silent. That was all the answer she needed.

"That's what I thought." She said in a huff. "We'll be going now." She looked over at Spike and waited for him to join her. He rose quickly and stood by her side. "Come on Spike. Let's go home. Angel can ship your stuff to my apartment. Isn't that right Angel?"

"Yeah, of course." Angel answered with a hundred emotions boiling in the pit of his stomach all at once.

Spike and Buffy headed for the door. Spike stopped Buffy with a slight touch on her arm.

"Hang on one minute luv." Buffy nodded.

He sauntered over to Angel and stood about a foot in front of him. Angel looked at him with pure hate in his eyes.

Spike loved how much this was killing Angel. He deserved it after all he'd put him through. There was just one thing he had to say before he left with Buffy.

"Oh yeah, before I forget...." Spike punched Angel sending him flying into the same weapons chest Buffy had punched him into earlier.

As Angel landed in a defeated lump on the floor, he watched as Spike made his way back to Buffy and they left the hotel hand in hand.

To Be Continued....

Chapter 6:

"You don't have to do this, ya know." Spike said looking over at Buffy in the driver's seat.

"Do what?" Buffy questioned.

"Take me under your wing again."

"I couldn't leave you there with Angel."

Spike sighed. "Yeah but I don't think I could take you feeling sorry for me again. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me."

"Spike, please stop questioning my motives. I want to help you. I'm not taking you home with me because I pity you. I'm taking you home with me because I care for you."

This bout of honesty made an uncomfortable silence fall between them. Spike couldn't help but be touched by her words. No matter how many things changed between them, he just could never bring himself to accept the fact that Buffy no longer hated him.

"So, where do you live now?" Spike broke the uneasy tension with a question.

"Uh, I live in an apartment with Willow, Xander and Dawn."

"Oh. Look, Buffy, I just need your help in finding a place to stay. It sounds pretty crowded at your place as it is. I don't wanna get in the way."

Buffy let out an aggravated growl and quickly pulled off to the side of the road.

"What are you doing?" Spike said, turning in his seat to face Buffy.

Buffy turned toward him as well. "I want you to stop this."

"Stop what?"

"This whole idea that you are some kind of a burden to me. Stop questioning everything I do and say and just let me help you! Please?"

Spike stepped out of the car and walked along the gravel stretch along side the highway. Buffy walked quickly to try and catch up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Buffy asked angrily.

"I can't do this. I can't just go home with you and pretend like nothing happened. Everything's different now." Spike stopped walking and faced Buffy.

"You're right. A lot has changed but we'll deal with it. You are human now and you are gonna have to adjust to that. The Powers may have let you keep your advantages and strengths but you haven't been training. You are out of practice and that's something you need to work on. So would you please just swallow your pride and let me help you!"

"I don't need you protecting me, Slayer."

As if on cue, a green and scaly demon with sharp claws interrupted their argument. It appeared behind Spike and he was completely oblivious to it. Buffy's eyes widened as the demon lowered a razor sharp appendage toward him. Spike saw the look on her face and started to turn around and as he did so, the demon sliced into his right upper arm.

Spike fell to the ground, clutching his wound. He tried his hardest to apply enough pressure to stop the bleeding but it wasn't quite enough and blood trickled down his hand onto the gravel below.

The sounds of fighting filled Spike's ears. He knew that Buffy was in a battle with the demon that had injured him but he couldn't take his eyes away from the blood that was pooling beneath him. He knew she could take care of herself and he wasn't in any position to help her out anyway. He'd just be in the way. For the first time since he came back, a realization had suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. He was going to die. Someday he would die and if he didn't start training to keep up his strength, someday was going to be sooner than he'd like.

A loud cracking sound had pierced the air and Spike looked up at his slayer to see that familiar look she had on her face every time she defeated a demon. That look only lasted a few seconds before Buffy turned to Spike and crouched down before him to make sure he was ok. She gently looked into his eyes before grabbing his arm and putting pressure on his wound. The amount of blood that was oozing from him startled her. Her chin trembled slightly as she thought about losing him during the fight against The First. This wasn't nearly as serious but a harsh truth has wormed its way into her brain as she looked at all his blood. He was going to die and next time it would be forever. The thought sickened her but at the same time it made her even more determined to help him whether he wanted it or not.

Buffy once again looked up into his eyes and she could see the fear that they held. She knew he had probably realized the same thing she had. Death was staring him in the face just like it did to every living thing that dared to take a breath.

By the look in her eyes, he knew that she would do everything in her power to prevent that mortal fate, but more importantly, he would let her.

To Be Continued..

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