Chapter 15

“You’re married to him?” I asked her. Although I didn’t need an answer, I already knew.

She had climbed off my lap and fastened her robe, drawing it protectively around her body. “No! Well, not really. Just, sort of.”

“Sort of?” I asked realizing that my voice was becoming louder.

“Shh!” she cautioned. “Alright! Yes! But I have a really good excuse!”

“Excuse! She’s got an excuse!” I growled seeing red. I felt anger and betrayal. Jealousy and rage wormed its way through my gut. Nothing mattered, nothing but the hurt. “Were you going to say anything? Were you going to just let me think we could…”

“What?” she interrupted.

“Nevermind,” I said turning away from her trying to bury my feelings and rein in my temper before I did or said something I would later regret.

She came up behind me and placed her hand on my back, “Will.”

“I need some time,” I told her as I stepped away, shrugging off her touch.

She was unrelenting, positioning herself in front of me, invading my space. “We don’t have time. We have each other. We have a child. We’re in trouble here. We can’t afford the luxury of being stubborn or feeling wounded. Angel insisted we be married before the baby was born. He came home late one night drunk with a priest and a gun. You know how I feel. You know I love you. Look at me…”

I could feel the muscle in my jaw begin to tic uncontrollably. She lifted her hand and caressed the side of my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch, I couldn’t help myself. I so wanted to believe her.

“This thing with Angel, it’s not real,” she whispered. “This, what we have, you and I, that’s real.”

“Is it? I don’t know. Nothing here is real. Nothing here is right. I feel like I’ve walked into the middle of some Fellini film.”

“Huh?”

“Or, maybe I’m in some strange and wacky dream, like the one that Pam had. You know, the one that explained away that really horrible season of Dallas,” I said.

“Sorry, no. Will, I think I was like in the first grade when J.R. was shot. It was past my bedtime,” she teased.

“Oh, come on! There’s re-runs. You have to have seen it. Pam wakes up and goes into the bathroom expecting to find her new husband Mark, but instead it’s Bobby in the shower,” I babbled as I sat down on the edge of the bed and began to rub my eyes.

“You watch way too much TV,” she told me as she knelt down on the floor, positioning herself between my legs. “And soap operas no less.”

I looked down at her. “Yeah, well you knew that before you set your sights on me. It’s too late now, little girl! You’ve ruined me. Sullied my virtue and everything! No one else will have me, you know,” I sighed dramatically before reaching for her, lifting her up and tossing her alongside me onto the bed.

“Your virtue?” she giggled. “Now that’s a laugh! You do know you have a reputation, Mr. Barrows, don’t you?”

“A reputation?” I asked, feeling my chest puff out.

Liz rolled her eyes. “Tell a woman people think she’s a slut and she’s mortified. Tell a man and he starts strutting around like a peacock!”

“People think I’m a slut? But, a man can’t be a slut,” I felt compelled to point out.

“Sure they can, a man-slut,” she insisted.

I shook my head. “Sorry. By definition a slut is a woman,” I said confidently.

“Well, what do you call a man who’s had a lot of sex?”

“Fortunate,” I recommended.

Liz frowned.

“Virile?” I suggested watching her frown deepen. “Anyways, those days are over. You’re going to have to make an honest man out of me, Ms. Summers,” I told her looking directly into her eyes.

“And how do you propose I do that?” she asked fluttering her eyelashes.

I leaned down and began to kiss her neck. I felt her shiver beneath me, her body instantly responding to mine. “Oh, Will.”

“Marry me,” I whispered into her ear.

She pushed me away so that I rolled off her onto my back, “Is that a no?”

“Are you serious?” she asked. “No. Don’t answer that. Of course you’re serious.”

“You know? Nevermind,” I replied lacing my hands together and placing them under my head. I laid there, casually staring up at the underside of the canopy.

“Nevermind?” she asked climbing on top of me and straddling my hips.

When I failed to look at her she placed her hand on my shoulder and gave it a shake. “Nevermind?”

“Yeah! Um…I mean…I’m supposed to have a ring. You’re supposed to be single. Maybe we’re rushing this,” I said, pretending to have second thoughts.

“Rushing this?” she repeated.

“Why are you repeating everything I say?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Will!”

“Course we could kill off Angel,” I suggested. “And an engagement ring isn’t completely essential. It’s the actual wedding ring that’s most important, right? And… Huge bonus! You’ll inherit his empire. We’ll be rich! Course I’ll probably have to learn how to speak Portuguese if I’m going to live here.”

She placed her hands on the mattress on either side of my head, and leaned over me, her silky blonde hair brushing teasingly across my neck and face. “You’re scaring me, Will! We’ve got to get one thing straight right now, mister.”

“Anything, baby,” I promised reaching up to lace my fingers through her hair and guide her down for a kiss.

“The engagement ring is completely essential,” she said just before my mouth reached hers. It was a tender kiss. I concentrated on her lips, licking and nipping, refusing to take it any deeper for now, and wishing the moment could last forever. I rolled onto my side, taking her with me, and sighed.

Reality sucked.

“Estephan will be back shortly,” I reminded her as I climbed off the bed and pulled back the covers. “In you go, you’re recovering, remember? He’s going to put a cot for me next door. So I can keep a close eye on you. We need to get some sleep, baby. The few hours we got last night isn’t going to cut it. Angel’s going to be back tomorrow night. We’re going to have to be ready for him. And he mentioned there being four for dinner. He mentioned having Estephan arrange for a woman for him. Unbelievable. He really expects you to sit there and have dinner with-”

“This just got more complicated,” Liz interjected.

“Why?” I asked, curiously observing the blush creeping into her face.

Liz turned to look out the window, “Drusilla.”

Chapter 16

At first I felt a bit disoriented. I’d trained myself over the years to wake up at will. I had planned on sleeping for just a couple hours, but it had obviously been more. The room was now cast in the lavender glow of dusk. I was surrounded by unfamiliar shadows, yet wrapped in a familiar smell. I breathed in her scent. She had obviously come and lain alongside me while I slept, for a while at least.

We agreed that sleeping together was too dangerous. We had talked for hours. Liz briefed me on Angel’s operation, outlined his major holdings, ticked off a list of various business associates, and provided detailed profiles of important players - including his key servants. She seemed to want to avoid further describing her relationship with Angel and she categorically refused to talk about Drusilla. She claimed that she was too tired and I allowed her the excuse, for now. Truth was, I wasn’t looking forward to hearing about it.

“You’re awake,” I heard her say, softly.

I sat up and turned towards the direction of her voice. She was facing away from me, leaning on the rail of the crib and looking out the window. Her back was essentially bare. Even in the dim lighting I could see her scars. I wondered how long they would be there. Some would remain forever I supposed. I felt relief, relief that she wasn’t hiding them, concealing them from me like some dirty secret.

She had bathed and changed into a deep purple nightgown. Her hair was softly curled, as if she had let it dry naturally. It cascaded down her back. I longed to run my fingers through it, to wrap her long tresses around my hand.

“I overslept. You should have woken me,” I said as I sat up and reached for my pants. “Did you get any rest?”

She didn’t answer me directly. She didn’t even turn around to look at me. She just shook her head.

“Are you okay, Liz?” I asked.

That evoked a chuckle.

I stood up, quickly slipped on my jeans, and walked over to her. “Talk to me.”

Her voice was devoid of emotion, dispassionate. “For months I thought that if I could just see him, hold him, that this hole I have inside…this big gaping hole…this feeling of emptiness…”

“It won’t be long,” I said as I wrapped one arm around her waist and the other across her chest. I held her there for a moment, her back against my chest. I waited until I felt her begin to relax then continued. “I miss him too. But it’s better that he stay out of harm’s way until we’re ready to make our escape. I think the plan will work. We just need to be patient.”

She leaned her head back against my shoulder, “Not one of your strong suits, by the way.”

“I can be patient,” I murmured as nuzzled her neck. “Waited for you, didn’t I?”

“True,” she admitted. “While we were working the Rayne case-”

“No,” I said, interrupting her. “I’m not talking about while we were working on the Rayne case. I’m talking about since then. I came back from my week in Mexico, got your note, and…well I thought there just might be a chance. Willow said you were on assignment. It seemed like you were held over. I was sent on a mission for several months. Rupert wouldn’t tell me where you were. No matter how many times I asked. I kept nosing around, trying to find out. Almost got myself suspended for hacking into your e-mail account to see if I could get a sense for where you were, what you were doing.”

“You hacked into my E-mail?” she asked.

I released her from my embrace and walked over to the chair where I had left my shirt. “Not me. Andrew. They couldn’t figure out who did it, the kid’s really good. There wasn’t anything useful there. But Rupert knew. He called me into his office and told me as much. Told me to let it go. The last he heard from you was that you wanted nothing further to do with me and I couldn’t convince him otherwise. The note you left on my door? By the time I realized it was important it was long gone, I had thrown it out.”

“Andrew? The guy that installs the computers?” she asked.

I shrugged as I buttoned up my shirt. “Yeah. He jumped at the chance to do me the favor. I think he’s sweet on me. I let him down easy.”

“Will?”

I turned to face her, “Hmmm?”

She was studying me intently, as if she were searching for something.

“What?”

“It’s been over a year. Are- are you saying that you haven’t…been with anyone else?”

I looked down at my still bare feet, feeling self-conscious. “Four hundred eighty two days yesterday, four hundred eighty three days today. Only, today doesn’t count does it? Today I have you, don’t I?”

I waited for her to say something, anything. But she didn’t. I looked up to find her still standing there, staring at me. I reached over and turned on the small light that sat on the table next to the rocking chair. The shade was shaped like a star and it gave off a soft glow.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear purple,” I told her. “You look beautiful in purple.”

She ran her hands over her stomach and hips, smoothing down the fabric. “Angel likes it because it brings out the color of the bruises.”

I walked over to her, lifted her chin and asked, “What bruises? All I can see is the intensity of your eyes, the fullness of your mouth, the curve of your neck.”

She blushed and turned away. “Always the sweet talker, the ladies man.”

“Your man. If you want, that is. I’m not going to lie to you Liz. I’m not a saint. I’ve gone and passed the time… with someone…women. But that’s all it was, time. It didn’t mean anything. I’ll be honest. There were times I wished that it could…mean something, or more to the point that I could be satisfied again with something meaningless. But I couldn’t you see? God help me, it was all about you.”

“Are you afraid?” she asked me.

I walked over to the duffle bag Anika had brought from my Hotel room and began to rummage through it as I thought about how to respond. I decided to go with the truth. “Terrified, dammit!”

“What?”

“Anika left my cell charger in the hotel room. I don’t think I have much battery left,” I told her.

She walked over to me and began to frantically rummage through the bag. “You have a cell phone? We can call someone? We can call for help? I could call Dawn?”

I stilled her hands, “Slow down. My battery was almost dead. We’ve probably got a few minutes left at the most. Maybe we can get Anika to go back and get the charger?”

“I need to call Dawn. I need to know that she’s alright. I need to hear her voice,” she begged.

I pulled the cell out of my front pocket and handed it to her. It went against my better judgment. It was crazy. It was stupid. But really, what choice did I have? After so many months of being the submissive, the supplicant, she desperately needed to take back some control, to be empowered, even if that meant making some not so good choices. God knows I’ve made my share of mistakes. “Your call,” I told her.

“What should I do?” she asked, fingering the phone.

I looked her straight in the eye and slowly said, “Take charge.”

“I-I can’t,” she said attempting to hand the phone back to me.

I held my hands up, refusing to take it. “Yes, you can.”

“What if I make the wrong choice?” she asked.

“We’ll recover from it. Point is that I trust you. We’re partners,” I said.

“Like Mulder and Scully?”

I couldn’t help it. I made a face. “No. Not like Mulder and Scully. I’m much prettier than Mulder! I mean, sure he’s taller, but I’ve got way better abs. And we’re going to have way more sex than they did. And better sex!” I said emphatically. “Plus? They’re not real people.”

“Right!” she said raising her finger in the air. She looked down at the phone forlornly, “We should call Rupert. It’s the right thing to do. We’re going to get out of here. Right? I’ll have a chance to talk to Dawn again.”

I took a deep breath and laid it out. “I’ll get the three of us out or die trying. I promise you that. But, I can’t promise you that you’ll talk to her again.”

She nodded slowly, and flipped open the phone. “Well get out. Van’s counting on us. We’re counting on each other. But still…carpe diem, right?” then she dialed.

Chapter 17

Her hand was visibly shaking as she held the phone to her ear. “Come on, pick up! Pick up!”

She was pacing back and forth in front of the crib. I could tell the moment someone answered the phone. She completely froze, her hand reaching out to grab the rail. “Dawn?” she asked, her voice barely audible as her legs began to give way beneath her. I could hear, even from several feet away, the frantic cries coming from the other end of the phone. She nearly dropped it.

I ran to her, wrapped one arm around her waist, and gently lowered her to the floor. I then lifted the phone to my ear, “Dawn? It’s Will Barrows, or um, Spike Stone. I’m here with Liz. I’ve got her. Is Willow there?”

“Willow! It’s Buffy!” yelled Dawn. “Where are you? Is Buffy alright?”

“Brazil,” I told her. I held the phone to Liz’s ear. “Baby, we don’t have much time, Dawn wants to know if you’re alright. Say something, sweetheart.”

“I’” she said into the phone as she looked up at me. “I’ll be home soon Dawnie. I don’t have much time. The battery on the cell is about to go out and-”

“I’ll call you back! Give me the number,” said Dawn.

“I can’t. It’s complicated, but we’re not someplace you can call us. Are you alright?” Liz asked.

I sat there with my arm around her, holding the phone to her ear. I could hear it as Dawn started to cry. “I miss you. Bet you never thought you’d hear me say that, huh? Can’t you just click your ruby slippers three times and come home?”

Liz looked up towards the ceiling and chuckled. “I wish I could. I miss you too.”

“Buffy?” gasped Willow as she picked up the phone.

“I don’t have long, Will. Take care of Dawnie. I know you have been. I know it’s been a long time already…I’ve been…I just…”

There was a pause, and then I heard Willow’s nervous voice. “Is everything alright? Are you okay? Were you hurt or something?”

Liz brushed away the tears that spilled from her eyes as a sob escaped.

“Buffy?” called out Willow, panicked.

“I’m alright. It’s just so good to hear your voices. For a while there I thought I’d never hear them again,” she replied, trying to collect herself.

“When will you be home?” asked Willow.

“As soon as we can be, Red,” I chimed in. “There’s a couple things that need-”

“No!” cried out Dawn. I could just envision her stomping her foot and balling up her fists. “No more work. Someone else can save the world. I need my sister back!”

I took a deep breath and laid it out. “She’s been a prisoner. She’s not entirely well. I’ve infiltrated and we’re working on escape plans but it won’t be easy. This place is like a fortress, the guards are heavily armed, and I don’t want to risk getting them hurt.”

“The guards?” asked Willow.

“No, not the guards! Not the guards. Liz and Van…just let Rupert know that he should sit tight. We’ll be out soon and-”

Dawn interrupted, “You’re escaping in a van?”

“No, with Van,” I clarified.

“My son,” interjected Liz. Then she rested her hand on my thigh, gave it a squeeze and corrected, “Our son, Will’s and mine.”

The phone beeped, signaling that the battery was about to fail.

“What? Buffy?” I heard Dawn cry out. “Don’t go!”

And then there was silence.

I took the phone from her and sat it next to me on the floor then pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. She rested her head in the crook of my neck and releasing a ragged breath asked, “Do you think they heard? Do you think they understood about Van?”

I nodded. “I think she understood. I’m sure she heard. It’s probably just now sinking in.”

My hand rested on her waist while the other skimmed over her hair. The feel of her gown was soft and sensuous and without much thought I slid my hand up her torso to cup her breast. She lifted her head and I leaned forward pressing my lips to hers in a tender kiss. I then shifted her off my lap, stood up, and stretched out a hand so that I could help her to her feet.

“I’m not going to break,” she whispered, ignoring my hand.

Although I didn’t quite believe her I said, “I know.”

She moved onto her knees and reached for the top button of my pants with one hand as she placed her other over my semi-erect cock. She looked up at me and licked her lips. “I know how to please you. I- I’ve learned a few things. I know what you want, what you need.”

“What are you doing?” I asked, confused.

She lowered my zipper. “Saying thank you.”

Right. Nothing says “thank you” like a blowjob. I love blowjobs. I had spent many hours, probably weeks actually if you were to add it all up, fantasizing about how it would feel, having her beautiful lips wrapped around my dick as I slid in and out of her warm wet mouth. So why was I was suddenly completely flaccid?

“Stop.”

She lowered her head, her eyes were fixed on the ground, her shoulders rounded, her hands hung loosely at her sides.

“Stand up,” I ordered, aware that an abrasive edge had crept into my voice.

I watched as she climbed to her feet, her eyes still downcast.

I lifted her chin slowly until her eyes met mine. “You lose,” I told her, shaking my head in disappointment before refastening my pants and walking out of the room. Once I reached the doorway I turned around and added, “I didn’t say ‘Simon says.’”

“What? Is this all a game?”

“No,” I replied, quietly as I walked back over to her, reaching up to grab her face between the palms of my hands. “No, that’s exactly my point. And don’t reduce it to that. I don’t want sex between us to be about power, and I certainly don’t want it to be about obligation. I love you.”

“I should go shower. I still reek of him, don’t I?” she asked as she tried to pull away.

I shook my head and sighed. “I’m not explaining this very well.”

I released her, stretched my neck, and rolled my shoulders.

“I’d be lying if I said I’d never fantasized about having you before me on your knees, just like that. Or having you tied to my bed, that was another one. I imagined you, my little sex kitten, living just to pleasure me, at my disposal, catering to my every need, satisfying my every whim.” I turned to face her. “But I have no desire to really dominate you. Not now. Not ever. I need you, I want you to be strong and decisive and in control. I want a partner, at work, at home, in my bed, in my life. Am I making any sense?”

“Yes,” she answered. “What if it’s not about obligation? What if it’s something I want? What if it’s something I want to share with you, experience…with you?”

I swear I felt it as the blood rushed from my head at a dizzying rate. My heart raced madly as my cock hardened and all rational thought left my mind. I was on her in a flash, kissing her deeply, pushing her back against the wall and covering her body with mine in a posture reminiscent of the first time we’d had sex.

She gasped when I released her from the kiss. Her chest was heaving. Her eyes were filled with lust and desire as she smiled up at me.

“You actually want to blow me?” I asked her.

Her smile faded as she broke off eye contact, “Could you make it sound any-”

I didn’t let her finish. I kissed her again. Hard. “I already asked you to marry me, right?” I asked as I pulled away.

She laughed and nodded. “Yes, I believe you did, Mr. Barrows.”

“Good. Just checking.”

Chapter 18

“You are unbelievable! How on earth did you arrange this with Maria?” Liz asked.

I set my fork down and looked across the table at her. “You know that thing I do with my tongue?”

“Ew! Will! She’s like seventy years old!” she gasped.

I reached for my wine, took a sip and said, “She’s seventy-five, actually. And she hates Angel. You know why?”

“No, why?” asked Liz leaning forward attentively.

“Wasn’t able to get that out of her, thought you might know,” I said as I picked my fork back up and cut myself another piece of steak. “I had myself a nice long chat with her while you were napping earlier. I told her that I suspected you were with child and I wanted to make sure that you were eating appropriately. She knows you’re far too thin. She had to verify with Angel that she could start really feeding you again. Apparently she was given instructions to restrict your calories. His people are loyal.”

“They fear him,” she replied.

As I placed the bite I had cut into my mouth I looked over at Liz. She was leaning back in her chair, her eyes closed, chewing slowly, savoring the taste.

“Good?” I asked.

She opened her eyes and I watched as they rolled back. “Mmmm. Are you going to finish your potatoes?”

I was beginning to feel some relief. As the hours ticked by she was more and more the Liz I knew. She seemed more emotionally stable and able to think rationally now that the drugs were out of her system, she had gotten sleep, a few decent meals, and a good seeing to…or three.

“Well?”

“Well, what?” I asked realizing I had completely missed what she’d said.

“Are you going to finish your potatoes?”

“Here,” I said as I offered her my plate. “Eat up, baby. Then I want you in bed.”

Liz fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly, tossed her hair over her shoulder and teased, “But you’ve already had me in the bed. Can’t we try something new, like the bath maybe, or that chair?”

“Christ! You’re killing me, here,” I told her as I blatantly adjusted myself. “You’re insatiable.”

“I am not!” she gasped, indignantly.

“With a voracious appetite,” I continued.

She stopped mid-bite and set her folk down.

“Sexual appetite,” I clarified adding a wiggle of my eyebrows for emphasis. “One of the things I love about you.”

“You’re a pig,” she declared.

I smirked. “Nah, I’m snarky and sarcastic. And you can’t get enough of me! Admit it. No, don’t bother. You don’t have to. I know it’s true.”

She pushed her plate away, reached for another of Maria’s delicious rolls, stood up, and casually walked over to the bed. “Oh, I get it.”

My smile instantly faded, I smelled a trap.

“Get what?”

“It’s the age difference,” she said as she slipped in between the sheets. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. They have medication now, you know. Erectile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed of. Shoot, I forgot the butter. Do you mind?” she asked holding out the roll.

I instantly forgot about the trap. The need to assert my manhood was much too great to allow for rational thought. She had sucked me right in. “I do not have erectile dysfunction! And I’m not that much older than you.”

“Will, when I was learning how to walk you were taking drivers ed,” she said.

“That’s an exaggeration and you know it! You’re off by… How old are you?” I asked, suddenly realizing that I had no idea.

“Twenty-four,” she replied.

“Not much,” I finished, acutely aware that I was frowning and probably accentuating the wrinkles in my forehead. “Wow.”

“Is that a problem?” she asked as she started to pick at her roll.

I immediately started doing the math. When Van graduates from high school I’ll be 56 and Liz will be 42. Christ! I’ll be eligible for early retirement and she’ll be in her sexual prime working with a bunch of horny, testosterone poisoned…

I was shaken from my nightmare as her roll hit me square between the eyes.

“You’re making your fishy face,” she observed. “Your mouth is opening and closing but nothing’s coming out. That’s never good.”

“You threw that at me!”

“I did,” she agreed, looking decidedly not contrite.

I pounced. She opened her mouth to squeal. I covered her mouth and nose with the palm of my hand and pressed down firmly stifling all sound. I had her securely pinned beneath me. She couldn’t move. I looked into her eyes, opened wide and dilated in fear. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. If you yell they’ll come in. I’m going to release you, okay?”

Liz nodded. I lifted my hand from her mouth. Initially she wasn’t breathing at all. Then she was breathing too much. Taking in great big gulps of air. I’d scared her.

I raised myself up so she could move more freely and gently brushed the hair from her face. “Shh, it’s alright. I’ve got you. I would never hurt you, baby. You’ve got to know that. Tell me what you need. You’re doing so well, sweetheart, unbelievably well. Just slow down your breathing. Look at me. That’s my girl.”

I had started off breathing with her, following her pace and then leading her to a more natural one.

“It’s not going to work, is it?” she asked as she sat up.

“What’s not going to work?”

Liz stood up and walked over to the doors that led out to the balcony almost as if she were in a daze.

“Pretending.”

I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. She was still in such pain. Did I really think I could erase what she’d been through so easily?

“For a second there I looked at you and saw Angel,” she confessed. “He’ll be back tomorrow. He’s dangerous, Will. He’s going to expect things. He’s going to expect things from me and I don’t think I can…”

“It’s going to be alright,” I assured her.

She spun around to face me, her fists in tight balls, and her knuckles white, “You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do,” I told her. “Look, I know you like things in neat tidy packages. But it’s not all black or white, right or wrong. There’s a lot of gray in the world, Elizabeth. You’ve been drowning in darkness for months. I know you’ve had little hope and I probably have no right to ask you to put your faith in me, but I’m going to. I follow my instincts. I go with my gut. I can lie and cheat and manipulate and fight against the best of them and come out on top. I’m going to get Angel to trust me and I’m going to use that to get him to help us escape.”

She exploded with laughter and at first it made me furious. The least she could have done is try to suppress it. But no, she was doubled over, clutching her stomach and cackling like mad. As she stood back up the laughter died down and she casually wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. “Oh! Oh, God! You should have seen the look on your face when that roll hit you right between the eyes. Bam! It was priceless!”

“Go on and laugh,” I groused as a sat back down in the chair I’d been occupying.

She walked over to me and crawled into my lap. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure,” I replied unenthusiastically.

She frowned, clearly disappointed but forged ahead. “The moment I laid eyes on you I knew that my life was going to change. It was late at night and as I walked off the firing range you were waiting for me, lurking in the shadows. You clapped.”

“You were a damned good shot,” I said, remembering the moment as if it were yesterday.

“I asked you who you were. You told me I’d find out on Saturday and then just walked out, leaving me standing there. It took me all but two seconds to come to my senses, chase you out into the hallway. I looked up and you were standing there, waiting for me, looking so self-assured. You winked and tossed the thick envelop that contained the case file at me. ‘Will Barrows. We become lovers,’ you said.”

“I meant that totally in a ‘We’re going to be going undercover and posing as lovers’ kind of way,” I clarified.

She raised her eyebrow, “Right.”

“You’re not buying it?” I asked, feeling a bit sheepish.

“No, you had this look in your eye, it was almost predatory,” she said as she played with the hair near the nape of my neck. I loved it when she did that.

“I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you. No other woman has ever affected me the way you do. We belong together. I believe that. Do you?” I asked.

She kissed my lips softly. “Yes,” she said. “I believe that. And, I believe in you.”

Chapter 19

I held Liz until she fell asleep then I returned to the nursery to get some rest of my own. I dozed off for a couple hours and woke to the sound of car tires on gravel. It was shortly after 1:00 AM. The light from the full moon poured into the room through the slats of the shutters creating lines of light on the wall. I heard it as a car door slammed shut once, then again.

Curiosity got the better of me and I moved to the window. There was a large sedan parked in front of the entrance. I could hear voices, raised in anger. They were too close to the door to see. I strained to listen, but couldn’t make out their words. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of a slap.

“Enough!” shouted a man’s voice.

A woman stumbled backwards, away from the house and into view. Her hair was as black as the night and framed the delicate features of her exquisite face. She gazed upwards towards my window directing a slow, confident smile in my direction, a combination of wantonness and innocence like I’d never seen before. Even though I was certain she couldn’t see me, I stepped back slightly. Her skin was pale, almost translucent. She was wearing a sheer white nightdress. Its long flowing skirt floated around her as she opened her arms wide and began to sway, dancing barefoot under the stars to an imaginary orchestra. She was stunning. Her nightdress slipped from one shoulder as she moved, exposing the top of her breast.

Suddenly Maria came into view blocking my vision of the dark beauty. There were angry words exchanged before the two were separated by the man and ushered inside.

My heart was racing and my mouth was dry. I slipped on a pair of jeans and a shirt, not taking the time to button it. I walked, barefoot into Elizabeth’s room and crouched down by the side of her bed. She was sound asleep. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch her, to climb into bed alongside of her.

I wanted this to be over. I desperately wanted to be back home and wondered briefly where that would be. Although we hadn’t discussed it I knew that what I wanted was to be with them, Elizabeth and Van. I imagined what it would be like, living together as a family in the house on Revello Drive, the one Elizabeth had grown up in.

“I love you,” I whispered to her in the darkness.

I heard the sound of a woman’s laughter coming from down the hallway, Drusilla’s laughter.

I walked back into the nursery making my way immediately over to the door. I knocked and waited.

A man answered, someone I didn’t know, and someone I hadn’t seen before.

“Where is Estephan?” I asked.

Right on cue Estephan walked out of the room across from mine and closed the door, leaving it unlocked.

“You may go,” he said to the stranger. “What do you need, doctor?”

I ran my hand through my hair and answered. “I can’t sleep. I think being cooped up all day is taking its toll. I’ve read the one book that was in Ana’s room. I’m wondering if there might be more someplace? I’m going stir crazy.”

He glanced over towards Liz’s door.

“I just checked on her, she’s sleeping soundly,” I assured him.

“Come,” he said as he began to walk down the long hallway towards the staircase.

The house was dark and quiet. The marble steps felt cold under my feet as I raced down the stairs, following Estephan’s quick steps. Upon reaching the bottom he turned right, proceeded down a hallway, turned left and stopped in front of a set of large wooden doors.

“The library,” he said as he opened the doors. “I’ll ask Maria to make you some tea before she retires for the night. She has a tea to cure everything,” he said. Then he glanced up towards the ceiling and sadly added, “Well, almost everything. Can you find your way back?”

“You’re not going to stay here and scowl at me while I choose something to read? Make sure I don’t steal any brandy?” I asked.

Estephan smiled. “You are a guest.”

“No,” I replied, “I’m a prisoner. I know the difference.”

“She is the prisoner, doctor, not you. Please, don’t be long,” he said before turning and walking out of the room. I listened as he walked back up the stairs. I walked over to the bar in the corner and poured myself a brandy. I was a guest after all. The room was paneled in a dark mahogany wood. There was a large fireplace dominating one wall, hanging above it was a painting.

It was of a woman with dark hair, nude from the waist up. Her skin was a dusky color, her face slightly ashen. Her body was surrounded in light and shadow, aura-like lines pulsating. It was morbidly sensual.

“Isn’t her red halo wonderful? It reminds me of blood. Life-giving,” she said.

She was standing right behind me. I didn’t turn around. Instead I took a sip of my brandy.

“I find it a bit disturbing,” I admitted. “I see angst and pain and death.”

“Oh, but there’s also the ecstasy of sex and love. It goes hand and hand, does it not?” she asked as she slipped her arms around my waist and stepped closer still, pressing her cheek against my back.

She slid her hands into my still unbuttoned shirt and over my bare chest, grazing my nipple with her fingernail causing it to peak and me to hiss.

“Pleasure. Pain. It’s so close.”

I swallowed. I placed my hand over hers and gently removed it as I turned to face her. I held out her arm and examined it closely, noticing the track marks.

“I’m Dr. James,” I said, shifting my hold on her hand to that of a handshake. “I’m here to take care of Ana.”

I set down the glass of brandy and began to button up my shirt.

“I’ve been waiting for you to come,” she said as she picked up my glass and took a sip.

I looked over at her. I took the brandy from her hand and tilted her head back so that I cold study her pupils in the light. “You don’t need anything to drink. You’re already higher than a kite.”

“I need… something,” she said, stepping towards me seductively as she began to rub the palms of her hands over her hips and down across her thighs. “Can’t you help me? Please? I’m…I need release…I have all this tension, like snakes coils deep in my belly and-”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly back and to the side. The posture was reminiscent to the woman in the painting. I looked over her shoulder at it. There was something about it. Something I couldn’t quite place my finger on. Something familiar.

“Would you like to taste me, doctor?” she asked, running her hand over my chest and stepping closer still. She dropped her voice as she began to rub herself against my thigh. “Angel says I taste like a ripe, wicked plum. You can eat me till you’ve had your fill, then I’ll lap up the juices from your chin.Would you like that?”

“It’s a tempting off-” I began.

She cupped her hand over my growing erection and licked her lips, “I promise to be very, very bad.”

“But, no,” I finished as I stepped back. “I get the impression Angel isn’t one to share his toys.”

“Drusilla!”

I turned to see Maria standing in the doorway a tray containing a tea service in her hand.

Drusilla giggled as she stepped around me and flopped down onto the sofa. “The good doctor and I were just getting to know one another!”

“You should be in your room,” replied Maria, sternly as she set the tray down on the coffee table.

“I can’t sleep. Can’t you feel it, the excitement in the air?” she asked. “Something’s going to happen, something important.”

She reached for the giant conch shell that was sitting next to the chess set on the coffee table and held it up to her ear. “The roar of the ocean, if I’m very quiet I can hear its whispered secrets over the rush of the waves-”

“More like the rush of amphetamines coursing through your veins,” I muttered.

I walked over to the bookshelves and half-heartedly studied the titles as I tried to regain my composure and dampen my arousal. There was Shelley’s Frankenstein, Stevensen’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Stocker’s Dracula, Endore’s The Werefolf of Paris, Blatty’s The Exorcist, King’s Salem’s Lot, the list went on and on.

“My Angel will be home tomorrow!” cooed Drusilla behind me.

I heard the sound of a slap and turned quickly. Drusilla was cradling her cheek and looking at Maria in shock.

“That’s for the doctor,” scolded Maria. She looked at Drusilla and her face softened. “Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Because I must. Because it’s what I am,” she said, looking down at the floor.

Maria shook her head. “No. It’s what he’s made you. You don’t need to-”

It was as if they both suddenly became aware that I was in the room, standing there, listening.

“Drusilla may have the tea, Maria,” I said as I walked over and refilled my brandy.

I turned back, glass in hand, preparing to excuse myself for the night.

“This one, doctor,” Drusilla said as she pulled a book off of the shelf and handed it to me. The cover was plain and well worn. There was no title. It looked more like a journal than a novel.

I looked at it curiously as she quietly sipped her tea. She placed her hand on mine to stop me as I began to open the cover.

“But wait until morning to read it. It’s a little… dark,” she said.

I looked into her haunted eyes and nodded. I watched as she turned, walked over to Maria, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight,” Drusilla whispered before taking her leave. “And thank you for the tea.”

Chapter 20

What, had I regressed back to thirteen? It was ridiculous. Pathetic really. Why the hell was I feeling self-conscious? My mom wasn’t about to walk in and catch me with my dick in my hand.

Masturbation was not foreign territory. As a matter of fact I’d become quite intimate with my hand over the past year and a half. I had an entire library of fantasies that I could pull from. Only right now, none of them were working. They kept being replaced by the promise of reality. Knowing that she was just a few feet away was too much. I wanted her, the real her. My dick was quite possibly harder than it had ever been and it desperately wanted to be inside of her. I wanted to be inside of her.

What was I supposed to say? “Hey, baby, I met Drusilla. Yeah. She’s something. She dry humped my leg and now I have a hard-on that I can’t seem to get rid of. Think you’d be willing to help me out?”

It wasn’t that I wanted her. Drusilla, I mean. Sure, my body reacted predictably to her. But that’s all it was, a reaction. I knew the difference between arousal and desire.

I stood up and pushed by pants down over my hips and stepped out of them, tossing them onto the cot. I unbuttoned my shirt, slipped it off and added it to the pile before turning to the doorway. I had made up my mind. I had a new plan. It was going to be a cold shower for Will Barrows.

I stepped into her room and began to walk quietly past the bed towards the bathroom. And then I heard it. A breathy little moan escaped her lips. I froze in my tracks. I watched, mesmerized as she rolled onto her back and stretched one long slender arm above her head. She tilted her head to the side as if to give an invisible lover better access to her neck. I watched as her other hand moved beneath the sheet, traveling down the length of her torso.

I decided my new plan was stupid.

I walked over to the empty side of the bed and slipped between the cool sheets. I could feel the heat radiating from her body.

“Liz,” I whispered as I moved closer to her, and reached for her hand.

I found it between her legs and couldn’t help but smile.

“You better be thinking of me,” I said softly, my voice rough with passion as I lifted her hand and wrapped it around my cock.

“Will?” she asked rolling onto her side as her eyes fluttered open.

“Christ, you’re so wet,” I told her as I slipped my hand between her thighs.

I slid one finger inside of her while I circled her clit with my thumb.

“I need you, baby,” I confessed as I lifted her leg, placed it over my hip, and shifted closer to her.

She gave my cock a squeeze that made my eyes roll up and by breath hitch. “You do that again and this is going to be over before we even get started,” I told her.

She kissed my lips softly and sighed. “I was dreaming. We were home and in the house on Revello, in my mom’s room, the one we stayed in before. You were making love to me, slowly and sweetly, and then you reached down and pulled out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.”

“Pink handcuffs, huh?” I asked, my eyebrows rising.

She bit her lip, nervously then began to rub the head of my cock across her entrance.

“What’s your excuse?” she asked nodding towards my erection.

I’m a good liar, a really good liar.

“I met Drusilla.”

She abruptly released her hold on me and sat up.

I’m also sadly brainless and have this daft notion about honestly and relationships. I think it’s essential. And that gets me in a lot of trouble. Contrary to popular belief, people don’t really like honesty. Especially women. It’s far too simple, too austere. They prefer being lied to, most of them anyways. Once again my principles were going to get in the way of my getting laid. I just knew it. I should have stuck with the shower plan. It was a good plan, a safe plan. Now I was screwed. She’d never understand

“She’s here? You saw her?”

Hmmm. She didn’t look angry. I placed her hand back on my cock, sat up, and tentatively kissed her. I brushed my tongue across her lower lip, teasing until I felt her smile. Her lips parted, it was the invitation I had been waiting for. My tongue slipped inside; stroking hers leisurely, sweep along the roof of her mouth, across her teeth. It was a great kiss. I ended it sighing in relief.

“I saw her,” I admitted my voice almost a whisper as I pulled back. “Estephan took me down to the library to so I could select a book. I couldn’t sleep. She found me there and-”

I got stuck there.

“She’s quite beautiful,” said Liz, softly as she began to stroke me. “And a skilled lover.”

I looked at her curiously. She lifted her eyes slowly until they met mine. They were glistening with tears.

“You’re beautiful,” I told her.

Elizabeth sat up and lowered the straps of her gown. I watched as the deep purple silk pooled at her waist.

“You found her arousing,” she said matter-of-factly as she licked the palm of her hand and brushed it over the head of my dick. “Are you tempted?”

“God, yes!” I gasped my eyes reflexively squeezing shut as I tried to dampen my arousal. I reached out to palm one full breast. “No one has ever affected me the way you do.”

“I meant by Drusilla-”

“No,” I answered looking back at her, hoping she would see the truth in my eyes. “She offered. I declined. End of story. Now I don’t want to hear another word about Drusilla. There’s only room for one woman in this bed.”

“You’d be surprised,” she whispered into the shell of my ear before pulling my earlobe into her mouth.

That did it. I shot my load all over her hand.

“Oops?” I said, sheepishly.

She smiled as she lifted her hand to her mouth and stuck out her tongue. I watched, completely transfixed, as she began to clean her hand like a kitten lapping at its paw. Her eyes drifted shut and she moaned softly.

“Mmmm.”

“Fuck you’re hot!” I growled as I laced my hand through her hair at the base of her skull and pulled her to me kissing her roughly, tasting myself on her lips, and wishing I were hard again.

When we separated we were both panting heavily. I slid my hand down, reaching between her legs. But she stopped me.

“Let me make you come, kitten.”

“Use your mouth,” she said.

I liked this, her knowing what she wanted and asking for it. I pushed her down on the bed and lowered my head. “Your wish is my command.”

I breathed in the heady scent of her arousal, pressed feather light kisses on her inner thighs, and then took my time separating her folds. The moonlight pouring in through the windows didn’t offer me enough light. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see how swollen she was. I wanted to watch as I coaxed her glistening juices from her body, as I fucked her with my tongue. There would be other opportunities I told myself, other nights.

I brought her quickly to orgasm. She came hard and fast, bucking against me, tangling her fingers in my hair, holding on tight. I sucked on her clit softly stroking it with my tongue as she came back down to earth. My angel. My love.

I crawled up the length of her body, making certain to leave a trail of kisses along the way. I rolled over and pulled her against me, cradling her head to my chest. Listening as her breathing slowed and became more and more steady.

“You’re the only woman I want in my bed,” I told her. “I hope that doesn’t disappoint you. Despite my reputation, I’m a pretty simple guy.”

“I love you, Will,” she said, softly.

I smiled. “Love you too, baby.”

“Will you be here in the morning?” she asked, dreamily.

“I’ll be right with you every morning, baby,” I assured her. “No matter where I am, I’m with you. Sleep sweet.”

“Sleep sweet,” she murmured before drifting back to sleep, a satisfied smile gracing her lips.

Chapter 21

It was nearly 10:00 AM and Liz was sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the anxiety, the rage, that I was experiencing. I had been in a fabulous mood just a few hours ago.

After five hours of tremendously good sleep, unusual for me, especially of late, I’d convinced Estephan to allow me to go for a short run. I took the opportunity to familiarize myself with the layout of the compound, looking longingly at the cottage that I knew my son was housed in off in the distance. I forced myself to run past it without stopping or glancing back. It was hard, damned hard, but I did it.

Upon my return Estaphan showed me to Angel’s gym. It was full of state of the art equipment that looked as if it had rarely, if ever, been used. I wrapped my hands and spent fifteen minutes with the heavy bag. I topped off my workout with a sauna followed by a long hot shower. Then I found my way to the kitchen for breakfast.

Maria tried to get rid of me, of course. She tried to shoo me out of her kitchen, but I was persistent, and I pouted. My pout is my secret weapon. It would get my mom every time. Maria prepared breakfast, eyeing me warily at first. She told me I was far too thin, and that I needed a wife who would cook for me and fatten me up.

“I had a wife…once,” I confessed with sadness, laying the groundwork.

“What happened to her?” she asked.

I stared down into my now empty cup and quietly said, “She’s gone. Dead. I like to think she’s with the angels and my little Gracie. It’s not something that’s easy for me to talk about.”

She nodded in understanding. “Some things are hard to admit to, hard to acknowledge. It sounds like you’ve experienced a lot of loss, a lot of pain.”

I feigned some lower back pain right on cue and complained about the thin mattress on the cot. I winced, I moaned, I asked if she had any pain reliever. She had my shirt off in no time. She pulled out a jar of something from underneath the sink, a poultice that reeked to high heaven and burned. She applied a liberal amount to my lower back and then wrapped a long length of cloth around my torso. I looked at her skeptically, wrinkling my nose at the smell.

“Don’t be a baby,” she admonished. “It’ll help. You’ll see.”

“Motrin would have helped,” I replied. “And it’s odorless.”

Maria dismissed my comments with a wave of her hand and we went back to work.

I worked silently alongside of her, waited about twenty minutes and then reluctantly admitted that my back was feeling better. She offered me tea and a detailed description of how she had created the remedy she had applied to my lower back.

I listened attentively, reluctantly admitted that there were medicinal solutions out there often overlooked by modern medicine, western medicine. Then I took the plunge.

“Drusilla,” I began, making sure to add just the right amount of reluctance to my tone. “Has she ever received any treatment?”

“For what?”

I hesitated, and not on purpose. “Well, I believe she may have a drug problem, an addiction. I think she needs help.”

“She’s addicted to him,” she spat out, and then looked up in fear.

“Don’t worry,” I assured her.

She looked at me with understandable trepidation, “Perhaps you should get back to your patient, doctor?”

I nodded, pushed my chair back from the table and stood to leave.

“Thank you,” she said without looking up.

“It was nothing. I enjoy cooking. Thanks for breakfast,” I replied.

She shook her head and looked up at me. I saw something then that surprised me, something in her worn and wrinkled face that I had yet to see. Hope.

“Thank you for believing my granddaughter is worth helping, that she can be helped. I’m ashamed to say I was close to giving up. She used to be so beautiful, so innocent. She wanted to be a nun you know. When she was a little girl she used to swear to me that the angels whispered to her in the darkness. He mother died when she was eleven and I brought her here. It’s my fault you know, all of it,” she said sadly as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel.

“Somehow I don’t believe that,” I replied, trying to reassure her. “You can’t help who you love.”

She shook her head. “He doesn’t love her. He’s incapable of loving anyone. It was like watching a lamb being lead to the slaughter. Her innocence was no match for his demon, and neither was I. By the time I realized…” she stood up and began pacing.

“Why am I even telling you this?” she cried out, obviously frustrated and embarrassed. “Please, forget I ever said anything.”

“You’re telling me because you think I might be able to help,” I said.

She turned to me then and asked, “Can you?”

“I’m going to try,” I told her, honestly. I looked up and sighed.

“There is more than one victim in this house, Maria,” I told her.

She reached into the pantry, pulled out a jug, uncorked it and took a swig.

“We’re all his victims,” she said, then she handed me the bottle.

I took it from her and took a swallow. The liquid burned a trail down my throat, heating my belly and making my eyes water.

“Shit!” I gasped.

She winked at me, popped the cork back in, and then patted my hand. “My own recipe.”

I looked past her, my eyes traveling around the kitchen, making note of all of the small jars, the odd pieces of crockery, the bunches of dried herbs hanging from the ceiling. I remembered Estephan’s earlier words, the tea she made to help me sleep, and the poultice.

“Estephan said you could cure just about anything with a cup of tea,” I said thinking out loud.

She nodded as my eyes met hers. “Not everything. I’m dying. I don’t have much time. Once I’m gone I’m afraid… I’m responsible for bringing her to this prison. I need to free her from it. I need to know that she is safe, that he can’t hurt her anymore.”

“I understand.”

“You don’t understand the half of it,” she said as she picked up the vegetables I’d chopped earlier and dumped them into the kettle of stew that she’d set to cook on the stove. “But you will. He’ll be home tonight. You’ll see for yourself.”

“What will I see?” I asked. I felt the hairs rise on the back of my neck. “Ana, she won’t talk about him, or Drusilla for that matter.”

“The book,” she said as she stirred the pot on the stove.

“The book?”

“The one she gave you last night. Even Drusilla is somehow sensing you are here to help. It was her way of reaching out to you, of letting you in, of giving you a glimpse.”

“A glimpse of what?” I asked.

“The damnation of her soul, doctor,” she said turning back towards me and wiping a stray tear from her eye. “Will you help me? If something were to happen to me, will you take her away from here?”

I walked over and enveloped Maria in my arms, suddenly remembering that my own mother was ill, fighting cancer. I was reminded of the frailness of life and of the strength of love.

“We’ll help each other,” I muttered.

Now here I was, the book in my lap. It was all there, the painful truth. It had started so innocently, a simple girl with a simple crush. It happened gradually, the corruption of Drusilla. It took years for him to make her, mold her. Her writing was haunting. It was raw. It made me want to heave and it made me want to weep.

Last night my Angel came to me

Came inside of me

Came on me

He lapped up my blood

Taking me inside

He called me his

He fucked me hard

He promised me heaven

I don’t want heaven

I only want him

There were pages upon pages of handwritten verse and entries.

The needle slides

His cock glides

Penetration

Exaltation

A voice calls

Darkness falls

I can’t stop

Every time

You find me

I become more lost

Each page was dated, all 258 of them. The first was dated April of 1996 and the last was entered just a few weeks before Van was born.

Naked, I unfurl my battered wings

Dripping with blood and caked on grime

From rolling in the dirt with you

I am forever soiled

I am forever spoiled

I am forever broken

Nothing but cinder

Burned, consumed by your inhumanity

An ashen shadow of what could have been

If only I had loved more wisely

“Hey,” Liz said, softly.

I didn’t waste a second. I set the book aside and crawled onto the bed, stretching out along side of her.

“Hey yourself. I thought you were going to sleep the day away,” I said before kissing her tenderly on the mouth.

“What time is it?” she asked as she moved to sit up.

I held her firmly in place, suddenly feeling choked up by emotion. “Time for me to worship every inch of your body, to shower you with kisses, to cover you with my scent, to show you and to tell you just how very much I love you. When I think of all the time we’ve wasted, how that night I let my stupid pride-”

She cut me off, placing her hand over my mouth. “Less groveling, more worshiping.”

“Yes, milady. As you wish,” I replied. Then I dutifully fulfilled my promise.

Chapter 22

I stood on the balcony and breathed in deeply of the night air it was humid, muggy, and oppressive.

Everyone in the house had been busy preparing for Angel’s arrival. Liz and I had spent hours luxuriating in one another’s arms. Neither one of us wanted to acknowledge that it might be the final time, we couldn’t. Instead we talked about the future, our future as a couple, as a family. We talked about all the things our parents had done wrong. All of the things we wanted to do differently. We talked about having a wedding. We talked about having more children. And we made love, over and over, drawing strength from one another.

I turned to look back at her through the window. I’d never felt more connected to another human being, not even myself. It was as if I were more aware of her than anything else in the universe. It was an incredible feeling. She flashed me a sweet smile and I felt my chest clench.

My heart expands,

'tis grown a bulge in it,

inspired by your beauty... effulgent.

I winced. Note to self, under no circumstances can you allow her to talk you into writing your own wedding vows. My self-humiliation was interrupted by the sound of an approaching chopper.

I watched as it flew over the compound towards the helipad. The skids touched down. The rotors slowed as the cabin door opened and someone emerged, Angel I imagined, although I couldn’t tell for sure.

A car had left the drive at the first sound of the approaching bird and snaked its way through the street carved into the hill. By the time it reached the landing area the engines had been cut off and the night was once again quiet and still. Within minutes the car had reversed directions. It was on its way back. Angel was on his way home.

I purposefully slowed my breathing as the car pulled to a stop in front of the entrance below. I recognized it as the same one that had brought Drusilla the night before. The driver emerged, quickly moved to the passenger’s door and opened it. When he stood aside Angel came into view. He was dressed in black, black pants and a black shirt. He would have blended into the night if it weren’t for light from the house flooding the courtyard.

He looked up at me. His eyes narrowed. Clearly I wasn’t what he expected. I nodded politely, smiled, and waved. He didn’t wave back.

“Tough guy,” I murmured. “We’ll see just how tough you are.”

“He’s here,” said Liz.

“Is the chopper his?” I asked her leaning casually against the doorjamb.

“Yeah, his new toy. He hired… Wait a minute, do you know how to fly a helicopter?” she asked, hopefully.

“You’ve flown with me,” I replied.

“In an airplane. It’s the same?”

“Well, no. But it probably comes with a manual. Everything comes with a manual. ”

“Will…”

“I’m kidding. I’ve flown a chopper before…Well, once. It’s not that much different. The key difference is the angular momentum, gotta keep it in mind all the time.”

“And if you don’t?”

“Then you’re flying a big rock.”

She opened her mouth but any intention to reply was forgotten as soon as she heard the sound of the deadbolt being released.

Our eyes met. I smiled at her, silently mouthed the words “I love you”, and then I buried Will Barrows.

Liz lay back against the pillows and turned her head away from the door so that she looked out into the night, a passive expression on her face.

Angel entered, bigger than life. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence. I was insignificant. He walked over to Liz, sat down on the edge of the bed, took her chin in his hand, turned her face towards his and kissed her soundly on the mouth. I watched as one of Liz’s hands fisted the comforter. My eyes flitted towards the heavy desk lamp and for a moment I fantasized about knocking him over the head with it. But, then there was Liz, and Van, and the guys with the guns.

“Hello, lover. Miss me?” he asked her, stroking her bare arms possessively.

I felt a shiver pass through me as he lifted her hands and turned them over so that he could inspect the bandages on her wrists. “Someone’s been naughty, all that precious blood gone to waste.”

I watched as he slowly unwrapped the gaze from her wrists, his eyes transfixed as he licked his lips. He traced the area that we had painstakingly cut shallowly and then stitched with his index finger.

“You’re healing nicely,” he said, almost sounding disappointed. “I don’t think you’ll scar.”

He draped her arms over his shoulder and then leaned in, nuzzling her neck and releasing a sigh.

“What do you have to say for yourself, Ana?” he asked as if he were scolding a small child.

Liz continued to stare off, vacantly into space. She stayed just where he had positioned her. She said nothing.

“Ana?”

She didn’t even blink.

Angel reared his hand back and…

I grabbed his wrist. “It’s not personal. She’s been fairly unresponsive, catatonic, since the suicide attempt. Hitting her will accomplish nothing.”

He stared down, pointedly at where my hand grasped his wrist.

“I’m Dr. James,” I said, releasing my hold on him and extending my hand.

“I told you we’d have dinner. I expected her in the library. We’ll have cocktails first. Dinner will be served shortly. I’ll see you both downstairs.”

“I explained on the phone about the bed rest. I thought we were clear about-” I said as I followed him to the door.

He turned to face me. He was a good head taller than I was. He stepped into my physical space, attempting to intimidate me. I didn’t move.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” he said. “I like to see my wife at my table. She doesn’t want to talk, that’s fine by me. Truth is, she never has anything terribly interesting to say anyways.” He leaned down conspiringly and whispered, “Not the best use for a woman’s mouth, talking.”

“She shouldn’t be on her feet, or moving about. Not yet. Not if you want to stave off a miscarriage anyways,” I replied.

Angel glanced over at the bed, shrugged his shoulders and said, “She doesn’t weigh much. Carry her.”

He then reached out placing his hand on my upper arm. He offered me a half-smile as he looked me right in the eye and gave my bicep a little squeeze. “Arms like this? You should be able to handle that.”

“I’m flattered, really,” I told him, a bit thrown off. Liz didn’t tell me about this possibility. I didn’t miss a beat. I lowered my voice a notch and stepped just a bit closer to him. He was a smoker. His cologne was sweet and cloying. It was a positively nauseating combination of cigar smoke and funeral flowers.

“I mean you’re obviously handsome and successful, a real good catch, I’m sure, but you’re just a little tall for me,” I whispered. “Also, I kind of prefer girls.”

Angel erupted in laughter and punched me, playfully, on the shoulder. Freak.

“Another rooster in the henhouse! God, this is going to be such fun! Don’t keep me waiting, doctor. You don’t want the evening to begin without you. I’m sure Drusilla has something special planned. You won’t be disappointed. See you downstairs. You’ve got ten minutes.”

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