How Many Days

Title: Fragile – (Chapter 1 of How Many Days)
Disclaimer: Joss doesn’t play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season 7. This is a sequel to ‘Don’t Stop the Dance’
Distribution: Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Thank you: one terrific beta Pam for letting me bounce ideas off of you. ;]
Feedback is good for my mental health. Don't make me beg! [xionin@beautiful-freak.com]

Prologue: During the final days in Sunnydale, Buffy and Spike revealed themselves to one another, embracing each other freely and without reserve. It was through their connection that the Slayer and her champion gained the strength to perservere over the First. Through that and a powerful spell by Willow, which created a sisterhood of Slayers, evil was vanquished; but the cost was high. Anya was lost to Xander, Spike was lost to Buffy and a number of young Slayers lost their lives. In channeling the energy of the Scythe and the powers of White Magic, Willow was physically transformed and left with abilities more powerful than any of them could have imagined.

There were very few words on the trip leaving what was left of Sunnydale. When the bus reached LA, the surviving former-potentials were sent home to their families immediately with an open invitation to come to the London Motherhouse, once it was established. Formal training was not required, but rather strongly recommended; and no slayer was to take on any major event without back up from the newly reformed Council of Watchers.

Giles spoke with Angel about taking Buffy out of California and helping her build a life for her and Dawn. He had been reluctant at first, until Wes suggested she could help Giles in training all of the new slayers; that having something to do would, once again, give her focus and purpose.

During the week that they stayed at the Hyperion, Buffy was withdrawn. She cried incessantly and the only person she responded to was Dawn. The sisters had an almost mystical connection that no one seemed to understand except for Willow. When Angel asked the Wicca, she declined to comment. Angel was disturbed by the Slayer’s grief and wanted to comfort her, but the others advised him to let her come to terms with her loss on her own. They didn’t understand that he was also grieving and for two people: for Spike, his grandchilde and for Buffy’s loss. He also felt somewhat responsible for delivering the instrument of Spike’s demise to them in the amulet and secretly wondered what the price had really been to Spike’s soul and if he had been truly meant to wear it himself.

But Willow and Giles convinced him that they needed Buffy’s assistance to rebuild the Council. Even though Buffy is one of many slayers, she is still the Chosen one and the strongest ever: the Slayer. In the end, Angel acquiesced.

Xander decided to become a Watcher and stayed in L.A., with Faith and Wood, to research the best place to open the American Motherhouse. Andrew stayed as well, since he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Angel gave him an entry-level position at Wolfram and Hart, with the stipulation that he keep an eye out for suspicious activity.

Kennedy decided that London was too far to follow Willow and she turned down the offer to work with Faith, instead deciding to go to Cleveland and set up a post on the suspected Hellmouth there. A few of the older slayerettes followed her.

On their last night in L.A., Angel held a farewell dinner for everyone. It was a somber occasion filled with memories of those they’d lost. Everyone attended…except for Buffy. Dawn surprised everyone by stealing some scotch from Wesley’s private stash and getting "pissed". She was inconsolable in her anguish, mumbling something about a missing spark and injuring her arm in an awkward fall. Everyone noticed the gold of her eyes, but Willow assured them that it was the after-effect of being caught in the amulet’s beam. She didn’t want to alarm anyone. She wasn’t sure if they were ready to know of what she suspected.

Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
That nothing comes from violence
And nothing ever could.
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are. -Sting

Giles is happy that it's not raining. Not that the London climate ever really bothered him, but for
some reason the sunshine makes him feel a bit better: not so dreary. He glances over his shoulder at Dawn.
Her right arm in a soft cast, she’s trying to maneuver herself through the tight turnstile after having
been x-rayed for concealed contraband. Buffy has already passed through customs, with Willow close behind.
With nothing to declare and not much to search, the group has had a surprisingly swift trip.

As he looks through the glass walls of Gatwick airport's south terminal, Giles finally breathes a
sigh of relief. Many people had been lost: Anya, Amanda and nearly Xander. They’d also lost Spike
and, as much as he hates to admit it, that had been the hardest blow of all for Giles. Spike had sacrificed
himself. True he hates to be wrong, but this goes well beyond that.

He feels regret.

Just thinking of what he had said to Buffy about the blonde vampire mere days before the final battle
makes him physically ill. But he won’t let the others know. Looking at Buffy now…he just cannot bear to see the vacant stare in her eyes or the way she allows herself to be handled by Willow and Dawn as if she were an invalid. It’s as if the life has been sucked out of her. And it has, hasn’t it?

The only word he’d heard her speak since Sunnydale came out of her mouth one week ago. When the bus
rolled into L.A., Giles asked her again what had managed to destroy the hellmouth, all she whispered
was Spike.

Spike.

“Come on Buffy, we’re almost there.” Willow leads the frail blonde to the waiting taxi. She gives Giles a
look that makes his heart even heavier. Her white hair practically gleams in the bright sunshine. Her blue
eyes are dark and sad, however, as she helps Buffy take baby steps to the car. Dawn sniffles as she
gets in on the other side. She hasn’t stopped crying since they left LA.

After they’ve all settled in, the driver heads to Victoria station. There’s one more leg of the
journey, by train, to Giles’ home. It is there that he will attempt to heal these three young women and coax
them back into the world they saved. He knows the fresh country air and change in scenery will do wonders
for Willow and Dawn. He doesn’t know what it will take to bring back Buffy…if anything.

At the station, Giles settles the girls on a bench while he goes to purchase tickets for the train. He
is retrieving his bill and thanking the clerk when a loud scream pierces the air. He spins around to find
Willow and Dawn desperately trying to calm a thrashing Buffy. Her arms and legs are flying everywhere and Dawn is quickly thrown to the ground. He rushes over to them as Willow releases her and stands aside calmly. The air around her swirls and lifts her hair slightly from her shoulders. She mumbles something and Giles looks from her down to Buffy who is slouched on the floor.

Not too far behind the group a young man with short, platinum blonde hair and a long black trench coat
stares at them in mock horror. “Bleedin’ nutter.” He snorts as he strolls past with a slightly familiar
swagger. Giles stares after him and then he understands what has occurred. He looks to Willow
who is smiling with her eyes closed as the air around her returns to normal.

No one in the area could have noticed any change in her, only those with a trained eye or knowledge of
what Willow really is. To a passerby, she just looks as if she’s standing there. Giles, however, can see
the tendrils of love stretching from her and wrapping themselves around Buffy, soothing and comforting
her. Buffy is folded in upon herself.

“Spike…Spike…oh God…Spike…” tears stream down her blanched face as she rocks back and forth. She is
off in her own world of grief and shock. Dawn carefully approaches her and places her good hand on
her back, making slow circles.

“S’ok Buffy. Shhhhhh. S’ok” Dawn’s tears fall silently as she looks up, her eyes pleading with
Giles.

“Our train is…er…arriving now. I’ve…taken…the liberty of getting us a private cabin.” He nervously
avoids making eye contact with Buffy’s shivering form. He is afraid that if he sees her…touches her… he will
collapse himself. Willow and Dawn guide Buffy to the train and they all embark without incident.

The car itself is luxurious with spacious cabins that can accommodate 4 people easily. Once inside, Giles
closes the curtains while Dawn and Willow instruct Buffy to lie down on one of the bunks. They cover
her with blankets and she instantly falls into fitful sleep. Then they both join Giles in the sitting
area.

“She’s sleeping.” Willow offers. Giles nods.

“Good…g-good.” He wrings his hands and Willow covers them with hers. He looks up at her and she
can see him breaking apart inside.

“Rupert,” she whispers. Giles lowers his head and begins to weep silently. Willow sits beside him and
he leans into her as she rests her back against the wall. Giles’ head is in her chest and Dawn’s is on her
shoulder. The three of them cry together for everything that they’ve been through, everything
that they’ve lost and most of all for the broken woman sleeping nearby.

Buffy loves the dreams. They’re heaven to her.

It’s when she is awake that the nightmare begins.
It’s when she’s awake that Spike is dead.
It’s when she’s awake that the world’s gone to
hell for her.

So she loves her dreams because everyone is safe and happy and Spike is there. She tells him she loves
him. He tells her he knows. She smirks…he smiles...and they’re so in love.

So very much in love.

In her dreams, he flees the crumbling school with her. They run together through the ruins of the
disintegrating hallways towards the speeding bus that will take them to safety.

In her dreams, she stays with him and they face the end together.

In her dreams, they’re just a guy and a girl, not a Slayer and a vampire, and they have 2.2 kids and a
cat named Zachary.

In her dreams, she is a loving person and never a cold, heartless bitch.

This dream is different, though; but not unfamiliar. There is bright light, warm and inviting. It
surrounds her, but she cannot see herself. She wants to look around, but there’s nothing to see. There is
only the light and the incredible feeling of being loved. She hears words, but not really. It’s just
something…someone…telling her it’s okay and ‘I love you I love you I love you’.

Always I love you.

Buffy smiles in her sleep. The train jerks to a halt at a stop and it startles her awake. Her smile
disappears as she opens her eyes and sees the wood grain of the cabin ceiling. The light is gone and it
is replaced by the harshness of her reality.

Spike. Dead.

Spike is dead.

Giles wakes up to fingers caressing his temples. There is something soft and warm under his head.
Willow. He is momentarily embarrassed at having fallen asleep in her lap, but his embarrassment subsides
when he looks up and finds her looking at him. He is startled. Whenever he’s away from her for any length
of time and then comes back into her presence he is startled. Her transformation is unnerving and, well,
exciting.

Her hair is truly cloud white and her icy blue eyes such a contrast to the deep green they had once
been. Willow smiles down at him. He nervously adjusts his glasses as he sits up. He is surprised not to see
Dawn there with them.

“She went to Buffy.” Willow’s expression doesn’t change, but she lowers her eyes to her lap, sensing
his discomfort.

“How is she? Any change?” Giles find it hard to contain his enchanment with Willow’s new…status. The
Wicca closes her eyes and scans Buffy’s soul.

“No. She’s hanging on by a thread.” She says slowly opening her eyes. Willow is careful to use a
moderate voice.

Since her change, she’s found it difficult to gauge what is loud and what is soft. The first night at
the Hyperion, she’d shattered three of Angel’s windows just by asking for honey in her tea. Fortunately,
the Council left an impressive bank account. And since Giles is one of two remaning Watchers, it mostly falls
to him.

Giles frowns at her response, although he really hadn’t expected anything else.

“She’ll be fine, Rupert. Give her time. A lot of time and love and friendship. She’ll be okay.” Something
about Willow’s voice reassures him and Giles pats her on the leg absentmindedly in appreciation.

“Right. Of course.” He opens the curtains to find a bright gray afternoon rushing by on the emerald
green of the English countryside. “We’re nearly there.” He turns to Willow who is smiling at him. She rises and
places her hand on his back.

“Don’t blame yourself for anything, Ru. You did everything you were supposed to do.” The warmth
from her fingers sends a current of electricity through his limbs. He reluctantly pulls himself from her and
heads to the sleeping area. Willow leans her forehead on the window.

I must not do things like that. She chides herself.
I'm giving myself the wiggins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A car is waiting for them when they disembark from the train. Dawn and Willow once again guide a shaky
Buffy to the back seat, one girl sliding in on either side of her. Giles sits in front with the driver.
Surprisingly, Buffy watches the landscape, rather than closing her eyes or staring at the floor. Dawn
watches only Buffy, reacting to every movement of her face or body.

“You ok, Buff? Need anything? Are you hungry? Giles, I think Buffy is hungry. Don’t worry Buffy, I’ll
take care of you.” She brushes a stray hair from her sister’s face. Dawn blames herself for giving Buffy
the letter from Spike. It was after hearing the words he’d written that she’d become truly distraught,
blaming herself for every wrong thing that occurred between them when he was alive (or undead.)

Unexpectedly, Buffy turns and looks at her young sister.

“B-buffy?” Dawn’s gold-flecked eyes widen with surprise. “Hi.”

“Dawn.” Buffy’s voice is rough from disuse. “I love you.”

At those words, the younger Summers crumbles into tears and she clutches Buffy to her with her one
arm. Buffy slowly wraps her arms around Dawn and rocks her gently, kissing her hair. Willow embraces the
battered sisters and smiles when she feels Buffy’s hand land on her leg and give it a squeeze. She locks her eyes with a bewildered Giles as he stares at the three women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The house is old and very English. A simple but tasteful two up, one down that screams 'Giles'.

Willow had almost forgotten how many books he has. Of course the library is in a shambles from the Bringer
attack, but the rest of the house is surprisingly intact. Mrs. Whitcomb scrambles to the foyer from
the kitchen when she hears the door.

“Oh dear! You’re early, Mr. Giles. I’ve only just arrived!” She scolds him, but softens her tone when
she sees the state of the group. She zeroes in on Buffy immediately. “Oh…deary. You come with me and
I’ll fix you a proper bath.”

As she leads Buffy up the steps, she glances over her shoulder catching Giles’ eyes. He nods and she
returns it. Dawn follows them up the steps. Willow and Giles head straight to the kitchen.

“I’d love some.” She says before he can speak. Giles’ mouth drops open and he shakes his head.

“You know, Willow…” they enter the kitchen. “You really should…er…refrain from doing that.”

“Sorry.” Willow merely smiles at him though, as she sits at the breakfast table. He finds it nearly impossible not to look at her, finding her quite striking. He wishes he had the energy to do a little research on her transformation. It would have to wait though. He is exhausted and just wants a cup of tea and a long, long rest. Fortunately he’s home, now, and time is plentiful.

Title: Sister Moon– (Chapter 2 of How Many Days)
Disclaimer: Joss doesn’t play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season 7. This is a sequel to ‘Don’t Stop the Dance'
Distribution: Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Thanks: Pam Grace, my wonderful beta.
Feedback: I don't wanna beg, but...
Lia - Thanks again for your kind words. I hope you enjoy the ride.
Wolf116 - I can't promise that there won't be tears ahead, but I can promise that they'll be worth it.

Sister Moon will be my guide
In your blue, blue shadows I would hide
All good people asleep tonight
I'm all by myself in your silver light
I would gaze at your face the whole night through
I'd go out of my mind, but for you. -Sting

The telephone rings at precisely 8AM, and without thinking twice, Giles knows who it is.

”Rupert.” The voice on the other end chuckles lightly. “Am I so predictable?”

Richard Ostriak is an old friend; brilliant, witty and the only other Watcher to survive the devastation.
He had been conducting some personal research in Hungary when the Council was destroyed.
The Motherhouse, having no record of where he was or where he was staying, fortunately could not lead the
Bringers to him. This also meant that he had no knowledge of what had befallen his colleagues
until he returned to find a hole in the ground where his home had once been.

Both he and Giles believed themselves to be the last until they’d both checked the voicemail number in Jamaica that
had been set-up for worst-case-scenario, emergency contact. It would be difficult to explain the relief both men felt
at hearing the other’s frantic message.

”You will see her, but she's not ready for your..y-your interrogation. Not just yet. She’s- still adjusting to life here in
London and…n-needs time to-”

To say that Richard Ostriak is obsessed with slayers, particularly Buffy Summers, would be an understatement.
In fact, when the decision was made to assign a replacement for Merrick, it had come down to two choices,
Rupert Giles and Richard Ostriak: the two most-promising, most experienced Watchers in the Council’s active roster.
Giles had been chosen, ironically enough, because he was the more disciplined of the two. Richard had the reputation
of thinking outside the box, so to speak, which was greatly frowned upon. Rupert, on the other hand, had embraced
the Council’s doctrine with fervor, after having been reprimanded and demoted following his ‘Ripper’ phase.

It was during that ‘phase’ that Giles, Ostriak and Giles' childhood friend, Ethan Rayne, had banded together to rival
the Council who were "a bunch of stuffy old aristocrats." They would be a real-world fighting force.

The three of them used the black arts to unleash a reign of terror on the demon world that would have put the Inquisition
to shame. They operated on the belief that real men didn’t need slayers to be effective. After all, they were strong. Powerful.
Men could handle such evils better than any woman. They suspected that the slayer’s power was mostly myth and were determined
to change the rules of the game.

The trio operated quite well together until one of them, Rayne, began entertaining delusions of grandeur and
plotted to take over the Council altogether. By the time Rupert and Richard found out about his plan, it was almost too
late to stop him. But stop him they did and were rewarded with reinstatement and a chance to make up for their transgressions.

Moving back into the fold proved far easier for Giles than it did for Ostriak. Richard constantly insisted on bending the rules and
therefore always found himself on farfetched research assignments. It was through these assignments, however, that his
indifference towards slayers turned into intense interest and later into an obsession.

By playing by the rules, Giles proved himself worthy of the greatest assignment of all: his own Slayer. And it wasn’t just any
slayer either, he was sent to guard the Hellmouth. When Richard learned of Rupert’s new assignment, he felt a combination of
jealousy and pride. He was glad that one of them had been given the honor, but resentful that it hadn’t been him.

“I was, er, hoping to come see the new Motherhouse as soon as possible.” Richard continued. “I understand if you don’t want me
to meet…her…right away, but we really must discuss what our next course of action should be.”

“No, you’re right. Please do come. Buffy…I cannot guarantee she’ll be up for…company…but-“

“Oh, yes…he’s…Colin James. He’s Robert James’ eldest boy. Do you remember Robert?”
Robert James had been the Council’s premiere demon linguist. The man spoke nearly 80 languages with complete fluency.
He had been in the Council's headquarters when they were destroyed.

“Ah. James, yes, well the last time I saw young Colin he was, er, about twelve years old.”

“Well, he’s quite a young fellow now, Rupes. He’s twenty and in University. A linguist he is, and I dare say he has nearly
surpassed ol’ Jamesey’s abilities.”

The one thing that Dawn notices more and more every day is that it's cold.
London actually has a winter.

And even though they hadn’t had a white Christmas, as she’d hoped, it was still
nice to have to bundle up and dash through the chilly, festive air; not having to look at
palm trees strung up with lights. To her, there was always something vaguely obscene about that.

She pulls up the collar on her stylish new coat, one that she bought in Top Shop
having bypassed the ridiculously over-priced Urban Outfitters, and pushes open the door.
A crisp breeze seizes her immediately and the pedestrian traffic flows lightly along the High street in Kensington.
She had stopped into Primetime to return a couple of videos she had rented. It had taken all of her
will not to walk out with another armful, but she did and she is smiling.

Giles will be proud that she isn't "wasting away precious hours in front of the idiot box."

Of course, she is walking a few doors over to the Catherine Wheel to meet a few friends for a pint.
It is her 18th birthday, though, and so she has an excuse to play hooky from her studies. Hopefully this birthday
won't go the way of the last one she had; unnoticed due to pending end-of-the-worldness.

The pub is dark and brimming with conversation when Dawn steps through the door. She pauses a
a moment to allow her eyes to adjust, and then spots the table where her new friends are sitting:
chatting and drinking away in the middle of the afternoon.

"Dawn!" comes the cheers from the small group, causing the eyes of wary patrons to pause and look at her.
She smiles sheepishly and meanders over to the crowded booth, preparing for a little pre-not-so-surprise birthday party merriment.
Yeah, she knows what Buffy and Willow are planning, but she doesn't want to ruin it for them.

Several pair of eyes, mostly male, follow her path. She finds, these days, that people look at her a lot more than they used to.
Perhaps it's the long, chocolate brown hair, with the unusually blonde highlights, that gleams down her back like fine silk.
Or maybe it's her stunning, model-worthy height she's acquired over the last 8 months. 5'11"...and growing.

Or it could be the perpetual smile she sports nowadays, being so far removed from the Hellmouth and all matter of near-apocalypses.

Whatever the cause, it doesn't bother her. She is no longer awkward with herself and now glides through crowds with a
grace that amazes even her. She's all grown up now.

And aside from some occasional...unpleasantness...things are relatively normal. Well, as normal as things can get
when your sister's a slayer, your surrogate father's a watcher, your 'aunt' figure is one of the most powerful beings on Earth
and you spend your days studying ancient Sumerian and several demon languages; all to thwart the evil in the world.

Things have settled into a routine, since Dawn and the others came to London. The Council is rebuilt and the new
Motherhouse is bursting at the seams with new members. Giles has slipped into the role of leader with surprising ease,
although Dawn secretly suspects he is a little uncomfortable with it. Willow continues to astonish everyone with
her amazing gifts. One of Dawn's friends, upon meeting the witch, almost insisted that she agree to be the model for
a comic book superheroine he was working on.

She politely declined and then, unbeknownst to anyone, wiped the memory of their meeting from his mind.

And Buffy, well, Buffy has come a long way since that first week in Los Angeles. Once they settled into Giles' home
in the country, she seemed to come back to herself. Dawn spent many nights in front of the roaring fire talking with her
sister about life, death, the future...everything, really. They grew incredibly close in a short amount of time.

Of course, there have been quite a few terryfing and confusing moments over the course of the year that nearly ripped them apart.

The 'glowing', as they've come to call it, has not ceased. Dawn awakes sometimes in the middle of the day, as if from a dream,
to find that she is in a strange place. She'll look around, in a panic usually, and then burst into tears. She hates not
having control of herself during these episodes.

After the first few incidents, Giles had insisted she wear a homing device on her wrist...just in case.
She wanted to yell at him and tell him she wasn't some bloody toddler wandering off from her parents.
But the idea had been somewhat comforting, so she'd given in; finding, on more than one occasion,
that she was eternally grateful fo having it. Mostly for Buffy's sake, as she worries so much;
terrified of losing her. She's lost so much already.

"Oh you bloody well do, Slayer. You were never one to look after yourself. Always putting
everyone else's needs before your own. Sod it all, you need to look after yourself!"

"Don't you tell me to calm down! I see how you are, nothing's changed. You're wasting away
and for what? You've got to live, pet, so one of us is bloody well living!"

Of course, that was a shocking conversation in a long line of shocking conversations to come.
Buffy had immediately dissolved into a weeping puddle on the floor as Dawn clapped her
hand over her mouth in horror. Everyone else could only stare at her yellowing eyes.

Willow is still trying to make them believe that the whole thing is caused by some sort of transference that
occurred when the amulet's beam hit her, but Dawn isn't buying that theory completely. As much
as she loves and misses Spike, the rage and sorrow and...well, quite frankly...somewhat disconcerting
feelings towards her sister have to stop. And soon, if she's to keep any semblance of normality.

Dawn doesn't delude herself that Buffy's pain has lessened any. She's no fool. Although her sister has become a master
of disguising her inner grief with bright smiles and pleasantries, Dawn can see right through the facade.
Sometimes she catches Buffy looking at her as if she isn't seeing her at all, but rather, inside her. And she
can feel her pain as if it were her own; feel her loss and the incredible sorrow that accompanies it.

Dawn squeezes into the booth and orders a pint of Gaymer's cider. She grins inanely when the waitress asks
for her ID.

"Yup, 15 or so. Even her tutor. Y'know-" Willow pauses to tie the end of the balloon she is inflating.
"I think she has a little crush on him."

"Really?" Buffy smiles brightly. "Oh, that would be so nice for her. What's his name?"

"That's ok. I'll meet him at the party." Buffy inspects the handmade birthday banner with a small amount
of pride. "You don't think she suspects anything do you? I mean, we were careful not to let the party plans
slip out, right?"

"She didn't get any info out of me." Willow places the balloon into a large bag with other balloons ready for the
'surprise' part of the surprise party for Dawn.

"Well, me neither. And Giles is pretty good at keeping secrets, so I think we're safe." Buffy smiles and
sits down next to Willow. "Thanks for helping, Will. I really want this to be special for her."

"It will be, Buffy. I think it's a great idea." Willow places her arm across her friend's shoulders and gives her a squeeze.
"She's got the bestest sister in the world."

"Nah." Buffy blushes. "She's been the good one. I don't know what I would've done without her these last few
months, Will. She's...she's been my guide." She laughs lightly. "How strange is that? I'm the older one, but
I'm the one leaning on her for support. It isn't right." She frowns suddenly, overcome with the guilt that has
plagued her about Dawn.

"Buffy," Willow takes her hands. "Dawn...is in a position to help you that none of us are and she understands that.
She would do anything for you. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, but this is...wrong...somehow, Willow. I mean..." She stands up and wraps her arms about herself.
"She's a teenager, she shouldn't have to play therapist to me."

"Again, I say she wouldn't have it any other way. And you're kidding yourself if you think she's a normal teenager."

"Oh..." Buffy lets the other thought hang in the air. She doesn't want to think if Dawn's "channeling" or whatever.
She hopes that they can get through the party without a hitch. She just wants to give her sister a good, old-fashioned
birthday, complete with cake and- "Did we get the ice cream?"

"Whoops. No. Want me to run over to Sainsbury's and get some?" Willow stands and reaches for her car keys.

Title: Nothing Like the Sun – (Chapter 3 of How Many Days)
Disclaimer: Joss doesn’t play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season 7. This is a sequel to ‘Don’t Stop the Dance'
Distribution: Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Feedback: is welcome. ~Xionin (xionin@beautiful-freak.com) Lia, Wolf116, Qwerty, Ranaslayer, Caroline, Kat and Mar ala...wow, you guys. Thanks so much for your kind words. I hope the story doesn't disappoint. It's going to be a wild ride!
Thank you: Pam and Maribel: my wonderful betas. I'd be lost without you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing Like the Sun

There's a lot to celebrate today: the new Motherhouse is complete and resplendent; the Council itself is operational once again with Giles at the helm; Dawn has done well on her A-levels and has her pick of schools and Buffy has slowly been rejoining the world of the living after spending many months holed up in her room or burying herself in work in an attempt to get past her loss.

The biggest cause for celebration, however, is the younger Summers' 18th birthday. Her 17th had passed by unnoticed during what everyone now lovingly refers to as 'Hell year'. Buffy and Willow resolve to give Dawn the best birthday ever and throw her a huge bash.

A few of her new friends from the shop on Upper Street where she works have been invited, along with a few of her friends from school and her tutor. The party preparations are well underway as Giles makes his way through the estate to the library. He isn't surprised to find Richard waiting for him, one minute early.

"Rupes! How are you, ol' boy?" They shake hands vigorously, with huge smiles, as Colin James stands with his mentor to meet the infamous Rupert Giles.

-----------------------------

Colin, arriving with Richard a few minutes prior, had been anxious to finally come face to face with the Ripper. Stories of his adventures had been a staple at family dinners and he wanted to hear first-hand accounts of some of the more far-fetched ones. He smiled shyly, however, when a petite blonde woman answered the door, immediately warming as he saw something familiar in her that he couldn't place. Richard had simply asked for Giles, not paying the young woman any attention. She just smiled brightly at the handsome young man who was apologizing with his eyes for his mentor's curt manner.

He had jet-black hair that fell in soft waves on the top of his head and tapered off at the nape of his neck. His clear, chestnut brown eyes smiled at her as he looked down from his, slim 6-foot frame. She looked back at the older man.

"You must be Mr. Ostriak." She bade them to enter. "Giles will meet you in the library. It's just through there."

"Thank you, miss..." Colin prompted her for her name, but it went unnoticed.

"No problem." She smiled over her shoulder as she walked away and back to her tasks.

-----------------------------

"I've heard a lot about you from Richard, here. Your father was Robert James?" Colin sits opposite Giles in a comfortable leather chair.

"Yes sir." Colin feels the blush of pride rising to his cheeks as Giles speaks very highly of his father; respect and admiration for the man evident in his tone and words. Soon the subject turns from the James family and towards Council matters. Colin feels somewhat uneasy as the two Watchers dance around the matter in front of him. "Excuse me, Mr. Giles-"

"Er...just Giles, is fine." The Watcher smiles.

"Giles." Colin stands graciously. "Would you mind? I'd like to offer my hand to the young lady in preparing for the gathering."

"You know about the party?" Giles frowns a little in confusion.

"Well, I saw the balloons and what not in the parlor."

"Oh, of course. Yes...it's a birthday party for one of the, er, residents." Giles looks at Richard and then back to Colin. "Who answered the door?" Colin smiles.

"A rather striking blonde, small but...very pretty. American. Who is she?"

"Buffy." Giles turns to watch the realization that he had already met the Slayer dawn on Richard's face. It is a sight to behold.

"That?" He begins to choke and Colin stands over him in concern. He waves his hand and lowers his voice, trying to contain his surprise and excitement. "Rupert, are you telling me th-th-that she, or rather, the girl..." Giles begins to laugh, even more so when he catches the confounded expression on Colin's face.

"Yes, Richard, that was Buffy Summers. The Slayer."

"Slayer?" Colin's eyes widen as does his mouth. Giles merely smiles at the two men.

"Yes, Colin. Buffy is...or was...well, I suppose she still is...the Chosen one: Guardian of the Hellmouth for over 7 years, until it was...er...destroyed." He lifts a small cup of tea and takes a sip, waiting for the reactions.

"My lord." Richard is shaking his head. "I cannot believe..I mean, I barely looked at her!" He feels a little disappointed at not having recognized her. True, he's never met her before nor has he seen any pictures. But he's had this notion that, when he did meet her he would just know, somehow, that it was her.

"She's...so diminutive. Just a slip of a thing, really." Colin's voice is hushed. His mind is reaching back the ten minutes or so to his meeting with her, wondering if she gave off any clues as to the power her small frame contains. As far as he could remember, she hadn't, but he still felt some...familiarity with her.

"Yes, well, don't be fooled by her stature, young man." Giles removes his glasses and cleans them thoughtlessly. "She's quite powerful."

"The strongest, fastest, most adept..." Richard's litany of praise trails off as he feels the other eyes on him. He clears his throat and smiles uneasily. "I would very much like to meet with her properly, Rupert."

"Of course." Giles responds. Richard's face beams with a bright smile. "But not tonight." He adds. "Tonight is Dawn's birthday party and I-"

"Dawn?" Colin's face once again takes on another look of confusion. "Dawn...Summers?" Giles tilts his head and nods affirmatively.

"Yes, Buffy's sister."

"Dawn...Summers...Buffy's sister, Dawn. The Slayer's sister." Colin's face pales and both Richard and Rupert look at him questioningly.

"Is something wrong Colin?" Richard turns fully to the young man towering over him.

"I, well, you see-" A small smile graces his lips. Dawn Summers, sister of the Slayer. Birthday party. He feels incredibly silly for not having looked at the address of the Motherhouse. Surely it matches the one on his party invitation.

-----------------------------

"So..." Buffy stands on a small step stool opposite the archway from Colin. "Your dad was a big time Watcher?" She is still reeling from the news that the world is so small that her sister's tutor is actually connected to their crazy little part of it.

"Yes, miss. He-he was...f-for many years, until..." He trails off, grateful for not having to repeat the unfortunate details of his father's death at the hand of the Bringers. Now that he is aware of who Buffy Summers is, his intimidation at being around her is only surpassed by his admiration for her: the Chosen one. Talking with her, watching her, he understands the familarity he felt when she'd opened the door. It is Dawn's sister. And he knows everything he can possibly know about his incredibly beautiful pupil. Well, everything except a few small details. Sister is a Slayer. Lives with Watchers. Small details. Details that they hold somewhat in common.

But in the hours he spends with her at the library or in their other favorite study spot, the Bronte Cafe, he's had a chance to study Dawn in all of her innocent beauty. He knows how she has a tendency to chew pencil ends when she's concentrating. He knows that she smells like strawberries all the time, and often wonders how she manages it. He knows that she moved to England a short time ago, but has embraced it with all the fire that only an American girl could muster.

He knows that he could fall in love with her, if he hasn't already.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Buffy's face becomes incredibly sad.

"No, it's okay. Really." He says with a small smile. "Think nothing of it. My father was a good man. I'm very proud and hope one day to follow in his footsteps, after University." They each secure their end of the banner to the top of the archway.

'Happy Birthday Dawn!' it reads.

"Yeah, I've heard Dawn say that you've a real talent for languages. I'm so grateful that you've been able to tutor her in school." She steps off the stool and leads him into the parlor where balloons and streamers had been set up for the occasion. The decor is a little infantile, but Buffy isn't quite ready to let go of the notion of her sister as a young girl rather than a young woman. "Dawn is great with languages too, isn't she?" She beams, noting the eagerness in the boy's face at the mention of her sister.

"Oh yes! Quite." He flashes a brilliant smile and then blushes at having revealed the depth of his affection for the young lady. "I..er...mean..." He shifts nervously.

"So...Dawn doesn't know that...uh...you know?" Buffy stares at him so intently that he find it hard to meet her eyes.

"No, I mean, I had no idea. We've never talked about family. Not really. I didn't even know she had a sister, until recently...And of course, slaying is not the sort of thing one brings up in casual conversation."

"Oh. Right." Buffy hides her disappointment that Dawn hadn't spoken of her very much. She does understand, though; Dawn's need to establish a life outside of being the sister of the Slayer. Still, it stings a bit. "Well...thanks for your help."

"Is there anything else I can do?" As he asks the question, the doorbell rang. "Get the door?"

"Oh could you?" Buffy's smile returns. "If you could let people in, Willow and I can finish up in the other rooms."

"Of course." He smiles graciously and offers a tiny bow. Buffy grins and bounces on her heels, turning away towards the kitchen. She likes him for Dawn. A lot.

As guests arrive, Colin makes himself useful by answering the door and taking coats and jackets into the study. Buffy and Willow smile at how helpful he is. Perhaps he does it to gain favor with the older sister and guardian, but they agree that it seems like more.

"Colin!" An amiable fellow with a shock of red hair comes striding into the foyer with a bottle of Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon in one hand and slightly worn tweed cap in the other. "What the devil are you doing here?"

"Sean. Very good to see you again." Colin deadpans as he extends his hand in greeting.

Sean Hildebrandt is a pompous ass: plain and simple. He'd been the darling of Colin's Secondary school, using his skills as a football player to win favor with the fairer sex. His reputation as a cad precedes him, and yet he's always managed to get the girl. Colin is none-too-pleased to see him invited to Dawn's private party. "I could ask you the same."

"Well I couldn't miss a party at the new Mum, now could I? Besides..." Sean lowers his voice in a mock-whisper. "The guest of honor is quite the little dish. Have you seen 'er?" Colin bites back the comment that begged to trip from his tongue and instead he simply smiles. Sean's attention is stolen away by other new arrivals as they spill through the door. Colin slips into the study for a calming breath. Wanker. Closing the door behind him, he lets his anger out in a growl and spins around only to run right into Dawn.

"Oh!"

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Dawn feels the panic rising as she whispers. What is her tutor doing here? How much would he find out about her weird-o life of Vamps and Witches?

"I-I'm here because...er...because..." Bugger. He doesn't want to ruin the whole thing and brass off any of her family.

"Not for the party, are you?" She lowers her voice even more.

"You...you know about the party?" Colin's discomfort at ruining the surprise quickly dissipates.

"Oops...busted." Dawn blushes prettily and Colin finds that he could only stare. "Please don't tell my sister you saw me, it'll ruin everything."

"O-o-of course not...I would never...I mean..." He gazes into her blue eyes and then searches lower until his eyes land on her lips. He mentally chastises himself and looks away. His stammering halts Dawn's trepidation at being caught snooping around her own surprise party. She wonders why he's acting so nervous suddenly; secretly hoping she is the cause.

"What're you doing in here anyway?" She arches her eyebrows and studies his reaction. Colin, at a loss for what to say, turns to her open-mouthed for more than a few moments before he blurts out-

"Coats!" He exhales loudly. One of Dawn's eyebrows drops as she becomes confused by his answer.

"Y-yes, um...I came...to...to...check-on-the coats." He holds his breath praying that she will accept that as an answer. Dawn considers him for a few seconds before an idea hits her.

"You were gonna snoop around, weren't you?" She crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently. She's suspected his attraction to her since the day they met and the feeling is more than mutual. He has been the closest thing to a friend she’s made since moving to London. Her one regret so far is that they never spend anytime alone...away from school and studying. They are always with someone else, be it with other students or with other tutors or teachers, doing research or translation. She decides to toy with him a bit. It is Colin's turn to be confused.

"I'm sorry?"

"You came in here to, what, go through the desk drawers or something? Is that why you closed the door behind you?"

"Good lord no!" He is offended by her accusation and suddenly feels very uncomfortable. "I told you, I just..."

"You're checking." He nods. "On the coats." He nods again, his eyes wide with anxiety. "Ok. Can I say lame?" His shoulders drop. Dawn uncrosses her arms. "What are you really doing in here?"

Colin rolls his eyes and sighs heavily. "Fine. Fine, I was trying to avoid someone...unpleasant." He glances up at her and she has a strange smirk on her face.

"That's better."

"Sorry?"

"That's a better excuse." She smiles.

"Dawn, that wasn't an excuse, it was the truth." He frowns, a little annoyed.

"Then why didn't you say so in the first place?" Her smile widens into a wicked grin as he flounders for words.

"I-" Oh bollocks. Caught.

"You?" She raises her eyebrows expectantly, drawing out the word.

"I-was...a bit nervous. You...have that affect on me." He bites his lower lip and lowers his gaze, afraid that at any moment she will burst out laughing, which she does. He shuts his eyes, prepared to slink into the nearest corner, when the strangest thing happens: Dawn steps into him and her voice takes on a completely different timbre.

"I make you nervous, luv?" She whispers. Colin's eyes shoot open at her proximity and the hot breath he feels across his lips. When his eyes rest in hers he gasps. Her soothing blue is replaced with glimmering gold. Nothing like the sun, it's something more primal; hotter. He moves to step back but her arm darts out and her hand curls around the back of his neck, her fingers idly playing with the short hairs they find there. When her other hand comes to rest on his chest, he freezes. Her touch is making him drowsy with desire.

"D-dawn?" Are all American girls this aggressive, he wonders? He certainly hadn't gotten the impression that Dawn was so...forward, then again he'd only been around her when they had work to do. This boldness makes him somewhat uneasy, but he is immediately aroused. And her eyes-

"Do I...Colin?" They dance over his face with a look he hasn't seen directed towards him before. It is pure, unadulterated lust and it grips him hard in the chest. Her tongue runs along on the edge of her teeth and he closes his eyes again, fighting the desire to grab her and kiss her. If she is toying with him, it would be a poor show of it for him to give in so quickly. Perhaps it's just a test. These thoughts are going through his head when she speaks again.

"Do I...frighten you?" She brings one dainty hand to his mouth and runs the soft pad of her finger across his bottom lip. He shudders. "Hmmm?" She goes up on her toes and playfully nips the same lip with her own, her eyes savoring the torment in his face.

"Dawn" he breathes. "I-I don't think this...we..." He fights for control over his hormones and over his body. It isn't until her mouth lands on his, tongue darting out in the least innocent of kisses, that he loses the battle and wraps his arms around her, kissing her fervently.

She is hungry, kneading his back and gnawing at him, causing him to groan. He buries his fingers in her hair and loses himself in her mouth. It's hot and sweet like fresh milk. Somewhere in the midst of the heat, he hears a whimper. Suddenly, Dawn breaks off the kiss and pushes him away. His eyes snap open to find her gasping for air and holding her hand to her mouth in horror. Her eyes are wide and she is shaking like a leaf in a storm.

"Dawn?" He is frozen in terror. Oh god, what have I done?

"You w-were...how did we?" She looks around the room for answers. "I remember talking...kidding you about being here and...oh my god what happened?" Colin watches the gold of her eyes flicker and fade as she regains herself.

"Dawn," he cleared his throat. "Why don't you have a sit down and I'll go get your sister."

"No! No...she'll know, let's...I just." She closes her eyes and swallows. "I'll sneak back upstairs and we won't mention this again...tonight, ok?" Colin regards her with alarm, but she cuts off his protest. "Listen, something freaky just happened and we'll deal with it, we always do around here. My sister worked so hard on this party, I can't ruin it for her. Promise me you won't say anything about this tonight?" She holds her breath for his answer. He studies her for a few moments before he slowly nods. She sighs in relief, mouthing a 'thank you' and turns to go.

"Dawn?" The sound of his voice stops her and she reluctantly turns to him, awaiting a brush off and a quick exit for being weirdo-girl. Instead, he walks slowly towards her, the awkwardness melting, replaced by a new confidence.

"One: it's been a dream of mine, for a while now, to kiss you and now that I have, I want more." Her jaw drops open. "I don't know what possessed you to do that, but my only complaint is that you obviously weren't yourself. When we find out why and we fix whatever it is, I want the chance to kiss the real you." She blushes at his assuredness and smiles, her eyes narrowng in admiration and confusion. Who are you?

"And?" She says softly.

"Two," he continues. "Tonight is for you and your sister. You're very important to her, obviously, and she to you and I think it's marvelous that she's doing this for you and that you're allowing her. But-" He steps a little closer to her and brushes the back of his fingers down her cheek, his tone intimate. "I want to do something for you too. May I...may I take you to dinner? To celebrate properly?"

"Are you asking me...on...a date?" Her eyes widen in amazement.

"Yes, I am, if you'll do me the honor." He smiles gently and anxiously awaits her answer. At 20 years old, he is astonished to find that he hangs on every word and gesture of this young woman; on every flutter of her luxurious eyelashes. Dawn grins and bites her lip.

"I'd love to," she says, barely audibly. He smiles and exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding, laughing a little at his own apprehension. "And thanks again...for not...telling anyone just yet." He nods and she turns and goes up the back staircase leading out of the study.

Colin runs his fingers through his hair and smiles. "Blimey."

-----------------------------

The day after the party, and Dawn sits down to tell her sister of what had happened, Buffy is distressed. She calls Willow and Giles into the study and makes her sister recount each detail of the event.

Willow takes Dawn's hands into her own and closes her eyes to scan for anything amiss. Nothing presents itself that hasn't been there since the day they'd fled the collapsing Hellmouth. She opens her eyes and turns to Buffy, shaking her head.

"Nothing?" Buffy asks, a little frustrated.

"Nope. Nothing out of the ordinary, anyway." Willow pats Dawn's hands reassuringly before letting her go. "Dawn, the next time something like this happens, you'll need to tell us right away, k?" Dawn nodded and glanced at Giles who looks more than concerned.

"Buff, I'm ok. Whatever it was, it was...fleeting. Poof! Gone. OK?" She smiles in an attempt to put her sister at ease. Buffy returns the smile tentatively.

"Yeah, for now, OK. Just...be careful. If Colin wasn't such an upstanding guy, who knows what would have happened."

"Yeah, well, that's him: Mr. Respectability. And a Watcher's son to boot. Who'd have ever guessed. " Dawn chuckles and Buffy laughs. Giles, who has remained silent during this entire meeting, looks pointedly at Willow who immediately understands what he wants.

"Dawn, why don't you call Colin and see if he can help you go over that Huldrefolk barrier we were working on the other day." Willow prompts.

"Sure, ok. Of course." When she exits for the library, Giles turns to Buffy.

"Buffy...I know that it's been difficult, this past 8 months or so, but-"

"You want to know what happened in the cavern." Buffy finishes the Watcher's question. She hasn't gone into any details about what transpired, not wanting to relive those last few moments. She also doesn't want Dawn made into a subject of study by the Council for her odd behavior caused by the residual effects of...whatever...had happened to her down there.

"You don't have to tell us, if you're not ready." Willow steps in, sensing her friend's trepidation. "It would just...help, if we knew what happened to Dawn." Buffy sighs heavily and stands, walking over to the bookcase. Her fingers land idly on an old leather-bound volume entitled 'Les Vampires.' She laughs softly to herself.

"OK." She takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly before she turns to the now seated pair. Willow's white hair is pulled back in an elegant bun. Her ice-blue eyes are impossibly warm as her friend silently communicates that she knows how difficult this is for her. Next to her, Giles avoids her gaze and she wonders how, after so long, he could still belittle what Spike had meant...still means...to her.

"When...when the amulet began doing its thing, Spike called out to me. I heard him, but I was fighting and couldn't move. It...wasn't until I heard Dawn's voice call his name that I turned to look and that's when I saw it. The...light...was so intense, it...was pouring out of him. Dawn ran to him and I tried to fight my way to her when one of the...when...one of the beams hit her.

"She...froze. I mean- she was, almost, suspended...in mid air. I ran for her, but Faith got there first and then she collapsed onto the floor."

"How long?" Giles soft question jars Buffy out of the memory momentarily. She looks up at him.

"I dunno...5, maybe 10 seconds. Faith was with her and she yelled at me to go to Spike. Just the way she looked past me. I almost didn't want to turn around, I was afraid of what I'd see. But I did. I turned and...he was pinned...against the wall. Sunlight-" A muffled sob escapes from her throat, but when Willow starts to move towards her, she holds her hand out to stop her, instead sinking into a facing chair.

"He was...radiant...glowing- in the sunlight. It poured through him, out of the amulet. I got to him somehow, I don't remember...somehow...and I tried to understand...what was happening. He kept telling me to leave, saying that he had to 'finish it'...cracking lame jokes about school being out. I didn't understand." She looks up at Willow's tearful face. It is the first time she's spoken aloud of Spike's death to anyone but Dawn.

"I begged him to come with me. I...begged...but he wouldn't, and then...Dawn was there and she was glowing too."

"What do you mean, Buffy, 'she was glowing'?" Giles is loathe to interrupt her again, but he feels this bit of information too important to bypass.

"She...had the same light around her, only...less...intense?" Buffy glances up at him to confirm that he undertands. He nods slowly, making a mental note. "They...something passed through them. They were...both...smiling. Peaceful. I-" She idly brushes a few tears from her face.

"He told me I had to leave...to live...for her. Not in so many words, but...I understood." Her tears are falling unchecked now, and Willow does rise and move over to her. Buffy turns to her friend, her gaze questioning and lost. She's hidden her grief in her room for almost a year and now it is out on display. "He-he-he said I'd never be alone, Will, but I am...I AM! How could he leave me like that? How could he leave me here alone? Like this! How could-" her words are cut off as her throat constricts with the sobs racking her frame. Willow looks to Giles as she wraps her arms around her friend.

They'd all assumed that Spike didn't have a choice but to stay. None of them had ever considered that he'd sacrificed himself willingly. And all of them had been all to blind as to how much Buffy really loved the blonde vampire. Giles moves to the two women and embraces them both, murmuring words of comfort and support into Buffy's hair as she weeps and weeps. He is astounded and a little in awe of his own prejudice. Spike...saved them all, and not just them, quite possibly the world. Buffy has held that knowledge to herself for months. My poor, poor girl.

After a few minutes, he stands up and rings for Mrs. Bale, one of the elderwomen of the new Council. When she arrives, she instinctively goes to the young blonde.

"Oh deary, let me see you upstairs." Her kind voice rouses Buffy from her tears and she offers a wan smile. Sniffling, she turns to Willow and hugs her, silently thanking her for making her speak out loud of that day. She only glances at Giles momentarily before she leaves with Mrs. Bale. Her relationship with her former Watcher, although friendly, has not reclaimed the closeness they once shared. Giles blames no one but himself and he can't fathom a way to regain her trust. When she is out of earshot, he sits next to Willow.

"I...honestly don't know what to say." He sighs heavily, placing his hand on her leg. Willow smiles and covers his hand with her own.

"Me neither, I mean...I knew what happened, sort of...but not, I guess." Giles smiles as the rare glimpse of old-Willow peeks through the woman beside him. "God, Giles, she's been holding all of that in all of this time."

"I know, Willow, I know." Giles removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, annoyed at himself for not noticing sooner; for believing that she'd gotten over the trauma of that day somehow. "But, what are we going to do about Dawn?"

"I don't know if there's anything to do, Ru." Willow stands up and walks over to the mantel. "She seems perfectly fine and, unless these little occurrences get more...I dunno...occurr-y, I don't see any reason to take action. I would like to find out more about that amulet, though. Do you think Angel has more info on it?"

"Hmmm, perhaps. Give him a call, if you must, but don't tell Buffy. I don't want to dredge up any more memories for her, she's been through quite enough." Willow nods and leaves Giles in the study. He chides himself for not checking up on the amulet and its origin. He is determined to rectify that immediately.

Title: She Walks This Earth – (Chapter 4 of How Many Days)
Disclaimer: Joss doesn’t play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season 7. This is a sequel to ‘Don’t Stop the Dance'
Distribution: Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Feedback: is welcome. ~Xionin (xionin@beautiful-freak.com)
Thank you: Pam and Maribel: my wonderful betas. I'd be lost without you!

Give me water
Give me inspiration
I want to speak now
But I can't find a word
So unforgiving
Is my infatuation
Now that I know
She walks upon the Earth
She walks this Earth -Ivan Lins/Brenda Russell as performed by Sting

Buffy has been having increasingly more vivid dreams of Sunnydale since that day. Sometimes the images linger in her mind long after she's showered and dressed for her daily routine. Occasionally a memory, sharp and painful, will hit her at the most inopportune moment. She'll be in front of the self-defense class that she teaches to young slayers and a fragment will slice through her mind, rendering her helpless. She'll fall to the mats, momentarily incapacitated, as the young girls gather around her to help her up.

The dreams fall under two categories...maybe three, depending on how you look at them. On one side there is light: blinding, warm and comforting light. It speaks to her, soothing her and giving her notions of love and caring. On the other side there is darkness, despair and grief. She can feel the pull of a blackness she's never known. From those dreams she wakes up in a panic, screams lodged in her throat afraid to be released. The dreams of light give her peace. She is able to maneuver through the day with relative normality. She can smile and not feel as if puppet strings are holding her up; controlling her.

In the other dreams...the most vivid, intense and disturbing dreams...she is with him. They are tangled together between sheets soaked with their passion. There is usually no sound, even their moans are muffled, there is only feeling. Flesh on flesh; hands on skin; mouths hungry and devouring.

Buffy isn't sure which category these particular dreams belong in: light or dark. She wakes from them feeling neither panic nor peace, only...longing. Either way, she doesn't allow herself to indulge in deciphering them. They belong in her past, lost in the ether along with him. And she is still walking this earth into an unknown future; still alive, even though she doesn't feel so alive.

This morning is blessedly dream-free. Buffy stretches her tired muscles and makes quick work of getting ready for the day. Giles had pulled her aside during the party and asked if she could meet with an old colleague of his that is anxious to make her acquaintance. After dressing and brushing through her waist-length, honey golden hair, she bounds down the steps to the kitchen for a quick bite to eat before Mr. Ostriak arrives. She is surprised to find Dawn there.

"You're up early." She grabs an orange out of the basket on the table and begins to peel it.

"Couldn't sleep." Dawn is listlessly picking over a scone. Noticing this, Buffy frowns a little, ceasing her actions.

"Yeah...just thinking about last night." Buffy takes the chair next to her sister and puts a hand on her back.

"We'll figure it out, whatever it is. Don't worry, Dawnie." Her voice is hushed.

"Oh, I know. And I seem to recall a pretty cute guy that knows this too." She nudges Dawn's shoulder with her own. Dawn blushes and can't hide the grin that breaks out on her face.

"I can't believe he's a Watcher trainee or a Watcher-in-training or whatever." Dawn shakes her head. So much for being normal.

"Well, he isn't, technically. Although I'm sure he'll jump right into his studies...now." Buffy smirks as she goes back to her orange. Dawn laughs silently.

"Yeah...he just might." She sighs and pauses as Buffy observes her. "I really like him, Buff. I hope I didn't scare him off."

"Uhhh. Excuse me, but didn't he ask you out, like, right after the...you-know?" Buffy arches her eyebrows an drops a slice of fruit into her mouth. Dawn smiles.

"Yeah...he did, didn't he?" She breaks off a piece of the currant scone and nibbles on it. "I guess he'll stick around."

"I saw the way he was looking at you, Dawnie...I mean Dawn. Are you sure it was just a kiss?" She teases.

"Yeeeeees." Dawn rolls her eyes. "It was...a good kiss, though...I-I think. Don't remember much."

"Well he must." Buffy grins and tosses her orange rind into the waste bucket. "The way he looks at you..." Her voice becomes distant.

"What do you mean?" Dawn gets up from the chair and crosses over to her sister, who is standing by the sink looking out the window.

"All during the party I watched him watching you. It reminded me of the way...well...Spike..." She doesn't continue, instead shaking herself and rinsing off her hands. "Nevermind. I'm glad that you've found a friend, Dawn. I...I hope it works out for you." She smiles, but there is sadness there. Dawn takes her sister's hand and squeezes it.

"So." She says, heading to the fridge. "What are your plans this fine Saturday?"

"Oh, well-" Buffy glances at the clock. "Actually, I am meeting with Giles' friend Richard Ostrich. He wants to interview me or something. He's a Watcher. A real one, not a new one."

"It's Ostriak, not ostrich, and Colin told me about him. He sounds nice. Sort of grandfatherly and very unwatcher-y." Dawn pours herself a small glass of orange juice.

"Yeah, and I figure 'why not'. He wants to ask me all about the Hellmouth and stuff. I-I don't mind talking about it that much, as long as..."

"He doesn't get too personal, I understand Buffy. But it'll be good for you to talk about it all. And he's objective, unlike Giles." Dawn smiles, downing her juice in three swallows and placing her empty glass in the dishwasher. "Might be just the thing you need."

"Miss Summers." Richard sits in Giles desk chair, his hands folded in front of him as Buffy takes the seat across.

"Then, by all means, call me Richard." He gives her a wink as he shakes her hand. "I've been looking forward to meeting you for a very, very long time."

"Oh come now, Buffy, you have to know that you are the most unique slayer the Council has ever seen, don't you?" He leans forward onto his elbows, his fingers laced under his chin. She rolls her eyes at the word 'council.'

"If, by that, you mean I play by their rules...then yeah." She arches her eyebrow. His smile widens.

"Precisely. You did more on your own than any slayer has ever done with the might of the council at her back." He says the word 'council' as if it were distasteful to him. Buffy smiles at that, but her eyes narrow with confusion.

"I was, what Giles likes to call, 'unorthodox'; but that's me: Miss Independence." His low laughter sends an unexpected chill down her spine, but she mentally waves it off. He obviously isn't of the same breed as the other Watchers she's known. And any friend of Giles'...

"Yes, yes. Well, I for one, admire your...tenacity and independence Miss Sum-...er...Buffy." He leans back in the chair. "You, uh...you had quite an interesting support group as well."

"That's their nickname; the friends that helped me patrol. Um...Willow - have you met her?" He shakes his head negatively. "You will...I'm sure you'll be way into her. She's some sort of goddess now, but she was just learning witchcraft when I met her."

"A...goddess...did you say?" She nods. "What would make you say such a thing?" His eyebrows peak in curiosity.

"Well...you'll see when you meet her." Her smirk and subsequent laugh causes him to frown in confusion. He quickly shakes it off as the smile returns. This is a remarkable girl. He can feel the power emanating from her like heat. And she is every bit as beautiful as he'd imagined: small, compact, fiery. Perfect.

"She was only a witch then." She corrects. "She and...Tara...they worked together until..." Her face takes on a mask of sadness.

"Oh dear, I didn't know. Would you like to stop? Can I get you something?" He moves to rise but she raises her hand to stop him.

"No, sorry...I just...I'm okay. It was a long time ago...or it seems like it was. It's just...hard, you know? But I'm okay." She offers a small smile and he resumes his seat.

"The human, right? Tell me, what exactly was his function in your unit?" She chuckles softly at the word 'unit.' Richard sounded very Riley-like just then.

"Xander? Well...god...he was our level-head. He kept us grounded, for the most part."

"Anya is...was..." This time she feels the tears begin to sting the back of her eyes. His brow knits in genuine concern. She takes a deep breath and swallows. "I'm sorry, it's...it's been awhile since I..."

"Oh dear I'm so sorry, Buffy, I really didn't mean to bring up such painful memories. It is obvious that they are still fresh for you." He places his hands on the desk, trying to think of something to do to calm her. "Would you care for some tea?"

"No, really, it's alright. I can't hide forever." She takes a deep breath as he waits patiently. "She...died...during the...battle."

"Oh." His face falls. "Oh, I am so terribly sorry. Really, if you'd prefer not to continue-" His voice becomes soft and sympathetic.

"No, it's okay. I can't be afraid to talk about this." Richard remains silent, waiting for her to set her own pace. "Anya was a...vengeance demon." His eyebrows rise in surprise. "Emphasis on the was. She was human...most of the time...when she worked with us. She was with Xander."

"I don't imagine that it would have." His frank words disarm her and she feels the heat rising to her cheeks.

"Yes. Long story." She gives him a look that tells him that that part of the discussion is over.

"Understood." He smiles. He really likes this slayer. "Anyone else?" She freezes. Yes, there was Spike. He was one of us, although we never really treated him that way. God, not until the end, and even then it was only Dawn and I that accepted him. He gave up his existence so that I could sit here talking to you.

The words are not finding their way to her tongue. She sits there dumbfounded as this man stares at her as if he can see inside her. And he can, in a manner of speaking. He is reading her, a special talent he has as a mild empath. He is reading her emotions and he wonders what has brought this powerful, young woman to the brink of despair. No, she is over the brink and fighting her way back.

"No. And it's Buffy." She tries to smile. He accepts the effort graciously. "There was...another, besides the four of us, Giles and Dawn, my sister."

Richard sits in stunned silence. Never in all his years of studying slayers, particularly this one, has he ever heard such a tale. He doesn't know whether to believe her or not. William the bloody sacrificing himself to save the world? He knew a little about this ones tendency to allow vampires into her inner circle, but he suspects that perhaps this flaw is coloring her memory of the event. He will certainly have to take this up with Giles.

"Buffy?" She is still sitting across from him in the chair, but she may as well not even be there. Her memories and her obvious grief have transported her to somewhere beyond his reach. "Miss Summers?" Slowly she comes back to herself.

"I-I'm so sorry, Richard, I...zoned out for a bit. Do you mind?" She stands slowly, her breathing erratic as if she's just been exerting herself somehow.

"Of course not." He rises with her as she turns to go. "Oh, Buffy." He calls after her as she reaches the door.

"I'd almost forgotten. " He walks over to the corner and picks up a small cardboard cube. "I...I brought this for you." Buffy frowns and look at the object as he places it on the desk. She walks over to it.

"It's a gift. For you. I hope you don't mind. It's just that...I've admired you for so long. It's...well, quite embarrassing. It's just a little tribute to you."

Buffy fingers the flaps of the box and feels the seam of the tape keeping it closed. She uses a little strength to pull away the binding and opens it up. As she reaches into the shipping popcorn, her hand rests on something solid and metal. She grabs onto it and pulls it out, careful not to spill the popcorn all over Giles' precious oriental rug.

Richard's eyes grow wide as he watches her reaction to the chaste silver, antique candelabra she pulls out of the box. The designwork is exquisite and her eyes roam lovingly over the intricate details. Her mouth drops open in admiration at its craftsmanship and quality.

"Oh...wow." Buffy turns it around in her hands. It is heavy. Solid. The silver warm to her fingers, and getting warmer still, though it is probably a trick of her imagination. The figures carved into the metal are people, men and women, dressed in what looks to be nightgowns. All are in various stages of sleep; some yawning, some dreaming, their faces contorted. It is a beautiful piece of work.

"You must, Buffy. I got it for you in Hungary when Giles told me you weren't sleeping well." She looks up at him, her brow creasing. "I'm sorry, I know it's rather personal and presumptuous of me, but please. Please accept it...as a token of my respect and admiration."

Buffy sighs as her eyes fall back onto the candelabra. "It's beautiful." She turns back to him, smiling brightly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Legend has it that lighting this before you retire will help you to sleep and to have pleasant dreams."

"Well, I'm willing to give it a shot." She laughs lightly. He chuckles in return. "Thanks again. We'll...talk some more. Soon." She smiles and with that, leaves the room taking her gift with her.

"That we shall, Miss Summers. That we shall." Richard sits back down at the desk, steepling his fingers in front of his mouth, and smiles.