Title: Can’t Stand Losing You (Chapter 25 of Don’t Stop the Dance)
Author: Xionin
Rating: Strong R this chapter.
Pairing: Buffy/Spike. Other major characters included.
Feedback: “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Moby, after every song in concert.
Disclaimer: Q: What should fans do now that they’ll have an extra hour free in their schedule? A: “What should they do with that hour? Write fan fic.” Joss Whedon, About.com
Notes: The basement scene. What else can I say? The stares meant something to me.
Muchas Gracias: Miss Kitty and Siobhan – You guys, like, totally rock! Totally!

Enjoy!

~Xionin

Previously on Buffy [adapted from UPN.com]: Buffy is confronted by the First as Caleb. He gives the requisite "I'm going to rule the world" speech again, but Buffy's not afraid. She is shaken, however, when the First morphs into an exact replica of her, like she's looking into a mirror. The First tells Buffy she lives her life alone and will die that way. When it disappears, Buffy comes to a realization: "We're gonna win." She has a new plan that requires some serious Willow mojo. Giles loves the idea, but Willow's nervous. She's afraid she won't have the control to follow through with the spell she'll have to perform, but Kennedy promises to buoy her up. That night, it appears Giles and Xander are mapping out their positions for tomorrow, until it's revealed they are playing a handwritten wizarding game with a red-caped Andrew, Amanda and a snoring Anya.

Can’t Stand Losing You

This may be it. The final night. The last moon.

Buffy sits quietly on her front porch wondering why this End of Days seems so...end-y. But it doesn’t really matter why. It just...does. It’s now or never and she is ready.

She looks out at the darkness of the once vibrant neighborhood and wonders if they all know what’s coming. She wonders if they feel safe, now that they’ve left. Do they feel protected?

She once thought that when this night did come, the eve of destruction, that she would be petrified.

She isn’t.

Because she isn’t alone anymore.

She has a family now and it feels so right that nothing
can ever be wrong again. Different maybe, but never wrong.

And for better or worse, after tomorrow, she will have changed the world.

-----------

Champion.

Spike twirls the amulet in his fingers, watching the ambient light dance in the facets.

He hopes to God he’s strong enough to save her this time.
Grateful for the opportunity to stand by her side, he has no intention of letting her down.

She’s placed so much faith in him: so much trust.
It’s more than he deserves, but he will not turn away from it.
He’ll embrace it, and her, and their makeshift family and defend it with his all.

But it’s not just about her anymore; it’s about all of them and this world they live in.
He’ll fight because it’s the right thing to do.

If that makes him a champion, then so be it, but he isn’t looking for glory or honor.
There may be no redemption for a soul as steeped in blood as his. No reward for good deeds that are laughably outweighed by bad ones.

But if he can do anything...anything at all, to right some of the wrongs, he will. Not for her, but for everything and everyone: For himself.

-----------

He feels her coming. Whenever she enters a room, any room, the energy always shifts. She is a flashlight in the darkness.

Her presence is stronger now, fueled by what they share. She is the undercurrent of everything he’s ever wanted or loved: needed or craved.

She walks down the steps on a pillow of silence. The worn wood doesn’t even complain with its normal creaking; just accepts her footfalls with silent reverence.

When she reaches the bottom, he is already standing...waiting...watching. She stops to look at him in his sculpted perfection and bare feet. He is a cool flame to her moth.

In the space of less than a minute, their eyes say everything because there are no words: not anymore. In sync they move to one another. Slowly and deliberately they close the space between them. It is a dance; a movement towards healing the final rift.

The first touch of her body sends waves of emotion through him. He has waited two lifetimes for this moment. Her eyes, glittering dark jewels, rest in his. She has been waiting as well, and it seems just as long.

She reaches out a trembling hand and runs it along his jaw line and across his collarbone. He inhales sharply, burying his hand in her soft tresses and then bends to kiss her. She kisses him back, shaking with desire, with need, winding her arms about him, until he lifts his head and breathes her name. His arms, so full of strength, pull her close to him, willing her to feel everything he is offering.

This is what she's yearned for, dreamed of, for months now. It’s been so long since he's kissed her like this, touched her like this, his hands finding the curve of her throat where it dips into her shoulder, thumbs brushing the sensitive underside of her breasts. His gentleness, something she’d vehemently denied him last year, had somehow always managed to slip in there when she’d stopped fighting for a little while. Now she longs for it.

The other night, he’d said, was the first time he’d made love: the best night of his life. She is determined to show him how wrong he is. Tonight will be the first; the best.

They break apart and gaze into one another. Buffy slips her delicate finger beneath the hem of his t-shirt and traces her nail along his abdomen. He shivers as his eyes close and his lips part in a gasp. She pulls the fabric upwards and over his head, kissing the smooth skin of his chest before pulling back. He opens his eyes into hers and reaches for the lapels of her jacket, sliding it over her arms and dropping it to the floor.

He busies himself with the buttons of her shirt and inhales slowly when the soft light hits the golden flesh of her naked breasts. He runs his hands lightly down her arms. She undoes the buckle of his belt, never taking her eyes out of his, opens his jeans and slides them to the floor, lowering herself and tasting him as she descends. She licks the sensitive skin around his pelvis in quick movements and he jumps with a start. His head rolls back when her warm mouth finally covers him. She moans and he feels it humming in his gut.

Overcome by the sensations he bends down and pulls her to her feet, lifting her he carries her over to the small bed.

He carefully sets her down and goes to work on the fastenings of her jeans, removing her shoes with them and casting them aside. She leans back and stretches out for him, reaching her hand to guide him to her, as if he doesn’t know the way. He slips the thin silk of her panties down her tanned legs, kissing all along the length of them and back up.

Their mouths come together again and he smoothes a palm over her breast as she arches into him. Her legs tangle with his as he settles on top of her. She runs her hands down to his lower spine and he plants butterfly kisses on her face and neck, his mouth wreaking beautiful magic on her soul.

He kisses her chest, suckling her nipples like a newborn, relishing her taste, the velvet feel of her — the way she moans in response. Her breasts bud for him as he takes them in his mouth.

She lifts her hips against him as she wants...needs...more. He continues kissing down her stomach, over her abdomen, leaving a damp trail in his wake. He is nipping and licking her soft skin, taking all of her now that she is finally his.

Buffy shivers when his tongue dips into her navel, his hands going under her lush, firm bottom as he continues to slide down. When he suddenly presses his face into her dark curls, inhaling deeply the intoxicating scent of her, she gasps aloud.

He brushes his cheek against the softness of her inner thigh, cuddling her. His powerful hands are at once so gentle, and yet so assured as he stokes the fire of her want for him.

All he’s ever wanted is all of her: every small taste and touch.

Her fingers tangle in his hair, as her desperation overtakes her. Sensing her need, Spike parts her velvet folds. He leans in close until he she feels his breath, and murmurs her consent. He kisses her reverently at first, savoring the tremble of her legs on his arms.

He wants to etch everything about this night into his memories.

Spike licks and teases her until she is taut and quivering with a building climax. It hits her unexpectedly and she cries out his name for the first time in over a year, only it’s different; so different it’s as if she’s never said the word before. Her back arches impossibly and her voice is wild with passion. He nearly loses control right then and there. Never has he heard anything so beautiful.

As she stills beneath him, he raises himself up to look at her. She looks like a goddess with her blond hair tossed across the pillow, her eyes heavy-lidded and her breathing heavy and strained. A thin sheen of perspiration covers her, making her luminescent.

He kisses his way up her body as she watches him, a smile playing on her lips. They part in a gasp as he settles himself between her legs and enters her. He kisses her breasts as she moves under him, accommodating him: silently begging him to fill her up once more.

He drives into her slowly at first, deeper and harder on each stroke, until she holds all of him and he can feel the reflexive clenching of her inner muscles. He cups her head in his hands and claims her mouth again as he continues rocking back and forth, trying to meter his thrusts and languishing in the gentleness where before he’d only been allowed the hard fast ride.

She wraps her legs around him, locking her ankles at the small of his back. Squeezing his eyes shut and burying his head in her shoulder, he fights for his rapidly diminishing control. He wants to watch her face as she comes, so he slips his fingers between them and lifts his head.

Her breathing becomes erratic again and he can feel her heart pounding beneath him as he increases the pressure of his fingers, making the friction unbearable.

Her eyes go wide as she stares into his, a tear slipping down the side of her face as she brakes once more. He smiles as he continues to thrust, loving the feel of her surrounding him.

“I love you so much, Spike,” she says, still in the throes of her climax and he is gone. He groans long and low as he spills his seed into her. She feels it cool and electric in her womb and smiles as she gazes up at him. His eyes are closed and his expression is one of pure bliss. When his muscles finally relax, she pulls him close, her cheeks flushed. He places a hand on her chest and rests his chin, his blue eyes dark and sated.

After a few moments, he rolls to her side and pulls her close to him. They lay in a limp tangle, Spike still inside her, as he doesn't ever want to leave. They lose themselves in each other’s eyes.

Green on blue. Blue in green. Mediterranean Sea. Distant nebula.

Buffy reaches up a hand and brushes away a tear from his face. She brings the finger to her mouth and tastes it. Spike’s breath catches. She shivers and her smile fades.

They cling to each other as the realization of what’s coming reasserts itself.

“I couldn’t stand to lose you, Spike.” She whispers.

“You won’t, luv. I promise.”

Title: No Time This Time (Chapter 26 of Don’t Stop the Dance)
Author: Xionin
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike. Other major characters included.
Feedback: Muchas gracias!
Disclaimer: Q: What should fans do now that they’ll have an extra hour free in their schedule? A: “What should they do with that hour? Write fan fic.” Joss Whedon, About.com
Notes: Well, this is the final chapter in this series, although there will be a short epilogue. I really hope you’re enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. I’m counting the days ‘til Angel: the Series returns in the fall...for obvious reasons.
Muchas Gracias: Miss Kitty and Siobhan – You guys are so amazing, it hurts.

Enjoy!

~Xionin

No Time This Time

The morning arrives just like any other morning, only...more quiet. Gone is the fighting over the bathroom. Gone is the clanging of dishes in the kitchen. Everyone is cordial, polite to a fault. It may be their last day on earth and no one wants to spend the time bickering over stupid things. The kitchen is virtually deserted, save for Anya and Andrew. They decide that dying on an empty stomach is just unacceptable.

Dawn spent her evening hours picking out an outfit for school. She didn’t know what else to do. She’d decided that, on her last day, she wanted to look and feel amazing: like a woman. She’d gone into Buffy’s closet and pulled on a pair of black pants that had always been too long for her diminutive sister. She had no guilt about taking them. She knew Buffy wouldn’t mind.

Wrapped in her robe, her hair still wet from the shower, Dawn sits at her vanity and moisturizes her face. She applies a very light amount of make-up. It’s just enough to fulfill her desire to look good, but not enough to make her look older than her seventeen years. She plugs in the dryer and blows out her hair, adding a bit of John Freida to bring down the frizz.

She dresses in the black pants along with a black shirt that she’d purchased several months ago, when the mall was still open, but never worn. She steps in front of the mirror for inspection. The 2 inch heel on the boots gives her a little more stature.

Not bad. I’m actually...pretty.

It would almost feel like just another day of school, if she wasn’t preparing to kill or be killed. She tucks the letter Spike gave her for Buffy securely in her pocket and pats it.

~~~~~~~~

When Buffy wakes up and looks at the clock, it’s 6AM.

One hour before the bus arrives.

She tilts her head up and sees Spike watching her. His expression is so serene that her lips curl into a smile.

“Mornin’”

“Mornin’ luv.” His mouth forms the words, but his voice barely escapes his lips. “You slept.” She had. She actually had, and like a baby. Funny what love will bring.

“Yeah.” She runs her hand down the side of his face. “You?” She already knows the answer, of course. No.

“Didn’t want to, luv.” His voice, returning, rumbles beneath her chin in his chest. “Wanted t’ make it last.” The smile slips away from her lips. The sadness in his eyes is unmistakable.

“Hey,” she says softly. “Don’t be morose. Neither of us is going anywhere. I won’t allow it.” He smiles a bit, mostly at the tenacity of the woman in his arms, but also at the absurdity of their situation: A handful of people defending the world against the forces of darkness. It’s a comic book scenario.

He bends his head and captures her lips for a soft kiss. They linger a moment before breaking apart. Simultaneously they move, sitting up on the cot, and stretching out their well-used limbs. She stops a moment and looks him in the eyes.

“Ready?”

“As ever, luv.”

“Love me?

“Forever, luv.”

~~~~~~~~

Robin pulls the bus out front and taps the horn. Almost immediately a string of girls files out the front door carrying various weapons and duffle bags. He watches them approach and can’t help but feel both exhilarated and sad. These young women are warriors, or they soon will be, but they’re also just scared little girls. It’s not right that they should be called upon to do this. But, then again, when has anything in this world ever been right.

“Hi Principal Wood.”

“Amanda.”

She steps up onto the bus and it barely rocks form the additional weight.

Such a little thing with such an enormous responsibility.
No. It’ isn’t right, but it’s all we’ve got.

A dozen or so girls are seated now, in the back of the bus. A few boxes of Pop Tarts are being passed around in the guise of ‘sustenance for the fight.’ Any excuse to get a sugar rush, Wood supposes. He smiles.

Minutes later, the rest of the girls exit the house, followed closely by Faith, Xander and Dawn. Faith lets the others in before her, and when she climbs the three steps, she stops in front of him.

“Hey.” She smiles awkwardly.

“Hey yourself.” They exchange a look and she moves on. Yep, if they both get out of this, he is definitely going to have to show that girl a thing or two about real life.

Giles leaves the house and walks over to his rental car, pulling out a rather impressive sword. As he walks over to the bus, Wood inquires about it.

“Very nice sword you got there, Rupert.” They both laugh, suddenly at the inherent joke.

“Yes, well, it’s an...old friend.” Giles twists the object back and forth in the sunlight for Wood’s inspection.

“A lucky charm?” Wood admires the scrollwork in the blade. It looks very old.

“Er...well, in manner of speaking, yes.” Giles smiles and takes a seat behind the driver.

Anya and Andrew walk to the bus arguing about something.

“I won...fair and square!” He whines.

“You did not, you little worm. My wheelchair was much faster. Besides, I threw your brake on when you were putting on your ‘racing mask’.”

They take their seats. Andrew looks around at the assembled army. His eyes go wide when he rests them on Dawn.

“Wow...Dawn. You look...amazing.” She turns to him, her face beaming, glad somebody noticed.

“Th-thanks, Andrew. That’s really sweet.” She’s ready, now. She feels she’s passed some important woman-like test. Someone appreciates her, if only for a moment, and it feels good. She pushes away the sadness of knowing that no one else will probably get the chance. In a few hours she may be dead.

Willow and Kennedy are the next to arrive. They stroll down the walkway holding hands as if they haven’t a care in the world. Wood watches them with envy and then he quickly glances back at Faith. She is watching them too and turns her gaze to him. He nods. She nods. He smiles. She smiles. They both hope they get the chance.

Buffy and Spike step out on to the shaded porch. She pulls the door tight and actually locks it, which causes Spike to chuckle.

“What?” She suppresses her smile.

“I don’t bloody well think any burglars are roamin’ about today, pet.” He smiles brightly at her, understanding full well what she’s trying to do.

“I know.” She looks down in a moment of melancholy. His smile fades immediately and he caresses her face, pulling her head up.

“Baby...we’ll make it and we’ll come back here...and...” He searches her eyes. She smiles and steps into him, cupping his face. They kiss and in doing so they feel every pair of eyes on the bus staring at them, but they don’t care.

Giles tilts his head and watches them. It’s...moving, the display of love and affection. He suddenly feels like a great ass to have stood in the way of Buffy’s happiness. How could he have been so blind to something staring him in the face? When this is over, he will make it up to her...them...somehow.

Buffy and Spike end the kiss, touching their foreheads together.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, now get under the blanket and let’s go kick a little demon ass.” She smirks. He laughs aloud and throws the blanket over himself, making a mad dash for the bus. Robin is tempted to close the door on him...for a moment. When Spike stumbles inside, he locks eyes with the slayer-born son. There is a silent exchange of respect, warrior to warrior. Spike doesn’t mistake it for anything other than a truce, and Robin doesn’t offer anything more. Spike turns into the bus and stops when he sees the section of windows that have been blackened out. Shocked, he turns back to the Principal.

“Couldn’t have you going up in flames...just yet.” Wood says, his face expressionless, but his eyes full of determination. Spike grins and nods as Buffy comes up behind him. She looks at Wood and silently thanks him. He ducks his eyes.

“Everyone here?” Buffy surveys the assembly. Not bad. Not bad at all, actually. Everyone looks nervous, but ready for the fight. “OK. Let’s go.” The bus lurches forward and they’re underway.

~~~~~~~

The trip to the school is short, but Buffy and Willow use the time to go over the plan one more time. It should work. Buffy squeezes her best friend’s hand in assurance, noting the trepidation on her face.

“I have total faith in you, Will.” She says softly. Kennedy squeezes Willow’s thigh and gives her a small smile.

“I gotcha, baby.” She looks up at Buffy as if to say ‘I’m behind you all the way.’ Buffy nods and walks to the front of the bus as it rolls to a stop.

“Ok everybody, this is it. I’m not going to give you a speech; I just want to say one thing.” Everyone looks at her in anticipation.

“Win.”

All of the faces show various signs of determination and fear. Robin opens the door and steps off the bus, followed by Buffy, a running, smoking Spike, and Giles.

~~~~~~~~

“Ok people welcome to Sunnydale High,” Robin’s voice echoes through the empty halls. “There’s only one rule today: kill anything that moves.”

Anya and Andrew head down the west wing. Robin goes to the east where Xander will join him. Buffy directs Faith and Spike to take the Potentials down to the seal. Dawn starts to head off with them, but Buffy grabs her arm.

“Dawn, no. You stay up-“

“No...Buffy!” Dawn’s composure suddenly cracks at the thought of not fighting with her family.

“Dawn, I can’t have you down there I won’t be able to protect you!”

“Buffy, please. I can take care of myself. Don’t separate us!”

“Dawn...” Buffy is proud of her sister’s tenacity, but she really doesn’t want her down there. She would lose focus. It’s bad enough she’s going to be worrying about Spike, but at least he is more than capable of handling himself.

“Giles!” The Watcher stops and turns to her, coming over. “You and Dawn take the Atrium. Can you hold from there?” Giles nods. Dawn quiets as she looks at her sister. There’s no way Buffy is going to take her with her. She should’ve known. Buffy turns her face back to the younger Summers.

“Dawn I-“

“Don’t.” Dawn fights the rising tears. “Just...don’t, Buffy. Anything you say is going to sound like goodbye.” Buffy nods as her sister’s face grows determined. Dawn grips the crossbow in her hand and she steps back a few inches. “Giles, let’s go.” She turns and walks down the hall. Buffy smiles, as does Giles.

“She definitely is your sister.”

Giles, Buffy, Willow and Xander are left standing alone as the others take their places. It’s almost like old times.

“What do you guys want to do tomorrow?” Buffy asks cheerily.

“I vote for Disneyland.” Xander offers.

“Been there, done that.” Willow replies. “How about some post-apocalyptic shopping?”

“Ooo! Yes. I have been jonesing for some shoes like you wouldn’t...”

“I rather would like to drive to the coast for some...”

“Nah, I don’t see why you women are always wanting to shop...”

“O-or maybe a trip to San Francisco to see the...”

Buffy, Willow, Xander break off and stride down the hall, splitting off one by one until Buffy is on her own. Giles shakes his head.

“Ah yes...ignored as usual.” He heads to the atrium.

When the Slayer arrives at the entrance to the Seal, Spike is there to greet her. They have a short, silent exchange before he gestures for her to enter while upstairs Willow prepares her spell.

“You ready?” Willow asks her lover.

“Yep. Get it done.” Kennedy replies.

“Ok...here goes something, I hope.” She begins to chant, calling upon her goddess to give her the power to activate the ancient energy of the scythe. After a few minutes, Kennedy becomes uneasy. Nothing’s happened yet, and she is beginning to question whether this will work or not.

Suddenly, energy shoots through Willow, and she gets a look of pure ecstasy on her face. Her hair turns a brilliant white and she begins to glow. Just then the girls in the cavern, as well as Kennedy, are imbued with the strength of a Slayer. Willow hands the scythe over to Kennedy as the spell dissipates.

“Get this to Buffy.” Kennedy runs out of the room, leaving an exhausted but happy Willow to rest on the floor. “That was nifty.”

Both Slayers and the former Potentials feel their powers instantly.

“Whoa...B, you feel that?” Faith asks the Chosen one.

“Oh yeah.” She grins. One by one, the girls and Spike all slice their hands to drip blood on the Seal until it opens.

"We're going to Hell," Faith announces, and the girls descend into the ground. Everyone looks out over a vast canyon filled with Ubervamps.

“These guys are so gonna be dust.” Vi says, grinning in the euphoria of her newfound strength.

The vamps spot them and rush in. The gang launches into a massive attack and the new slayers are managing their powers impressively. Some of the Ubies escape upstairs, but run into the second wave. Giles takes down several, and Dawn holds her own, opening the roof of the atrium and bathing them in sunlight. On the other end of the hall, Xander manages to removes several Bringers’ heads, but Wood takes a knife in the stomach. Xander beheads his attacker before it goes in for the kill, and helps Wood back to the entrance. Down the hall, more Bringers attack Andrew and Anya.

“Oh my! I’m...I’m scared!” Anya’s revelation startles her. “I never thought I’d be so petrified. I thought you would be, a-and I’d just be sarcastic about it.” She clutches her sword awkwardly.

“It’s ok, just...just think good thoughts.” Andrew replies. “Sunny days...flowers...fluffy bunnies.” Anya’s expression goes dark.

“Bunnies?” She grins. “Big. Fluffy. Annoying. BUNNIES.” She stands at the ready as the group attacks.

~~~~~~

Underground, the battle is raging. The girls fight impressively. Buffy, Faith and Spike fell several attackers with one blow. Buffy stops momentarily to assess the progress when something stabs her through her shoulder. She drops the scythe, clutching her limp arm in pain. Faith, seeing Buffy fall to her knees, fends of another vamp and goes to her side.

“Hold the line,” Buffy says, thrusting the scythe to Faith who nods and goes back into the fray. She doubles over in pain as Amanda’s limp body falls before her. The First taunts Buffy about her wound, but it only serves to irritate the Slayer. She manages to stand and fight again, her enhanced slayer strength giving her use of her arm rather quickly. The First disappears, and Buffy reclaims the scythe and goes berserk, killing every Ubie she can reach with the weapon.

Spike goes to strike down another attacker, but stumbles back against the wall as the amulet begins to take effect.

“Buffy.” He whispers.

Suddenly a bright, electric energy shoots from it and through him, blasting through the roof of the cavern and the atrium, showering his attacker in a circle of bright sunlight. Upstairs, Dawn and Giles run out of the room to escape the falling debris.

“Buffy!” Dawn runs towards the seal, as Giles tries to stop her. She fights her way through the cavern and sees Spike pinned to the wall and in direct sunlight.

“Spike!” Buffy hears her sister’s voice and spins to see her rushing over to him.

“Oh my God, Spike! Dawn!” She fights to get to them.

Just then, the sunlight channels through the amulet, cutting wide swaths across the cavern. It vaporizes all of the Ubervamps one after the other. Dawn, running to his aide, is caught in one of the shafts of light. She freezes.

Her body is held in suspension for a moment and Buffy screams, running to her side while also glancing over to her beloved. Just as suddenly Dawn is released. She collapses on the ground just as Faith reaches her.

“Oh my God, Dawn!” Buffy calls to her sister, but Faith can see Spike over Buffy’s shoulder.

“B! I got her. Go to Spike!” She cradles Dawn’s limp body in her arms. “Come on, Dawn, wake up.” Dawn’s eyes flutter open and Faith gasps. Her normally blue eyes are flecked with gold. Dawn smiles and releases herself from Faith’s embrace, rising and turning to Spike. Faith grabs her arm and pulls, but Dawn won’t budge. Her gaze is locked on the remaining vampire and her distraught sister who has just reached him.

As the light continues to pour from Spike, the cavern becomes unstable. Buffy rushes to his side. Faith manages to pull Dawn towards the entrance.

“Spike!” Buffy’s eyes are wide with fear, for the first time today.

“I can feel it, Buffy!” He face is rapturous.

“What?”

“My soul. It’s really there.” He smiles. “Kinda stings a bit.”

Upstairs, the school is falling apart and everyone runs. Xander runs back inside after helping Wood back to the bus, calling for Anya. Andrew runs to him, a look of shock on his face. Xander studies him for a moment and understands. She is gone. Andrew’s legs give out and Xander catches him, helping him out of the building.

Back in the cavern, Faith gets Dawn to the entrance and calls out to Buffy.

“OK, baby, you’ve done enough. Let’s go!” Buffy pleads with him, but he shakes his head.

“No, Buffy, I’ve got to finish this.” He doesn’t look at her, but instead turns his head to Dawn who smiles. He returns it just as another wave of energy hits him, this one ten times stronger than the last and he is forced to shut his eyes. The light shoots out of the amulet carving a path of destruction along the far wall of the cavern. Large chunks of the ceiling fall to the ground. Dawn takes one last look at him and calmly takes Faith’s hand and leads her around her.

“Go up, Faith, I’ll wait for Buffy.” Faith is about to protest, but it is stolen from her tongue by Dawn’s gaze. She nods quickly and runs up the steps. Dawn turns back and walks over to her sister.

“Spike...no! No, you have to come. Let’s go! Please...” She drops the scythe. Dawn calmly picks it up, her eyes locked on Spike’s face.

“Please don’t’ leave me here alone...please! I love you!” Buffy is crying now.

“You’re not alone, lamb. You never will be again.” He smiles at Dawn and then at his beloved. Buffy looks at her sister and notices a feint glow surrounding her. She looks back at Spike and sees the same aura but only more intensified. Her eyes are wide in confusion. She raises her hand and entwines her fingers in his. They catch fire and Buffy winces form the initial pain but then, through it, she feels something else.

“Oh. Oh my...Spike!” She looks up at him, tears flowing down her cheeks, and she smiles. “I feel it too! Your soul...it’s...it’s so...’

“Beautiful.” Dawn finishes, smiling.

Another blast of energy and Buffy is thrown away from him. She and Dawn have to take a few steps back. She is about to rush forward again when his voice stops her.

You have to go on living, pet, so one of us is living.

Buffy looks up at him and their eyes meet. He is radiant in the sunlight...beautiful...glowing. It takes her breath away; she’s never seen anything so gorgeous. She reaches her hand forward and he does the same.

I love you... she thinks.

...til the end of time. He replies.

Dawn grabs her sister and pulls her towards the entrance as the ceiling above them begins to crumble. She pushes Buffy before her and turns for one last look. Spike’s eyes are closed and he looks so peaceful.

“Goodbye, Spike. I love you and I’ll never forget.”

He doesn’t respond, but she knows. She knows.

~~~~~~

Working on pure adrenaline and instinct, they race back towards the entrance, dodging debris left and right. They practically dive for the back door of the bus as it peels away. Hands grab them immediately to help them aboard. Behind them, the ground is caving in on itself.

“Buffy! Dawn!” Willow rushes forth to hug them. She grabs some gauze from Vi, who has taken over a the resident medic, and presses it to Buffy’s injured shoulder. “I’m so glad...” She is cut off by Buffy’s expression. She looks at Dawn. “Dawnie...your eyes...”

There isn’t time to finish the thought as Giles swerves the bus to avoid a collapsing wall. He speeds away from the Hellmouth with his foot on the floor.

~~~~~~

Back in the cavern the amulet’s energy has changed. The beams are no longer shooting out, as the cavern is well on its way down. Instead a bubble forms around its bearer. He is barely conscious of the fact that the stinging has stopped.

“Ah.” He moans, laughing. “I did it myyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaay.” His voice fades as the bubble of energy collapses upon itself and him, winking out in a single point of light.

~~~~~~

Racing away from the destruction, Dawn holds her sister on the floor of the bus; Willow helping to support her. Suddenly both sisters jump with a start and turn their heads back to the quickly vanishing town.

“No.” Buffy breathes. Dawn places her hand on her sister’s cheek and Buffy turns to her. “Spike.” She whispers. Dawn responds silently, her eyes flickering gold and then returning to their brilliant blue.

They both know that he is gone.

They drive for another quarter hour before Faith calls out to Giles to pull over.

“We’re clear!” The bus comes to a screeching stop as everyone who is able jumps out and goes back to survey the damage.

“Wow.” Faith says.

“We did it.” Vi responds.

“Yeah, we did it!” Rona exclaims. Xander and Andrew walk slowly to the edge of the crater.

“Uhhh...Andrew, did you...did she...” Xander’s voice trembles. Andrew stops and turns to him.

“She was amazing. You would have been so proud.” He smiles a small smile. “She died saving my life.” Xander looks down at the word ‘died’.

“That’s my girl...always doing the stupid thing.” He wipes at his tears angrily, forcing a sad smile.

Buffy and Dawn walk hand in hand to the edge and peer across. Buffy is lost, she doesn’t hear or feel anything save the presence of her sister.

Her tears flow freely now. Spike is gone. Spike is dead. Dawn watches over her protectively, knowing exactly what she’s thinking.

“I-I don’t understand.” Giles shakes his head. “What did this?” Willow and Xander walk up next to him and they all stare at the devastation in disbelief. Dawn and Buffy look at each other for a moment and then Dawn turns to Giles, her hair whipping in the breeze.

“Spike.” She says softly, looking at each of them. Giles frowns and tilts his head. Xander’s mouth drops open and he steps towards Buffy and places his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m...sorry.” He looks out over the horizon.

The others walk up one by one as the group looks back on what was once Sunnydale.

“Well...what are we gonna do now?” Rona asks shakily, thinking of all of the ones that didn’t make it.

“Yeah, B. We’re not the only ones anymore. Feels...good, doesn’t it?” She walks up behind her. “So, what do you wanna do...now that the world’s your oyster?”

The ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign teeters in the breeze and falls into the crater.

Buffy smiles.

Spike.

Title: Gabriel’s Message (Epilogue for Don’t Stop the Dance)
Author: Xionin
The letter in this chapter is an excerpt from
You Know Not The Day Nor The Hour, Part 2
by Christie Kopitzke a/k/a Lynne C.
 

I was so moved by her words, that she graciously
allowed me to use them here. I highly recommend her work!

Disclaimer: Q: What should fans do now that they’ll have an extra hour free in their schedule? A: “What should they do with that hour? Write fan fic.” Joss Whedon, About.com
Muchas Gracias: Miss Kitty and Siobhan – will you marry me? ;^]

Enjoy!

~Xionin

Gabriel’s Message

The letter has been sitting on the night stand for 3 days now. She wants to read it, she really does, but every time she reaches for the folded papers her hands begin to shake and she breaks down.

Every morning Dawn comes in with tea and asks her the same question. Not with words, but she asks all the same.

Have you read it yet?

Everyday the answer is the same; a tiny shake of her head.

No.

Today would be no different except that last night, when she awoke from the screams of her nightmares...again...Dawn had been there with her screaming. They’d both seen Spike. They had both awakened with his name in their throats.

“The light...” Dawn starts.

“...is so blinding.” Buffy finishes. It’s the first thing she’s said for days. Dawn watches her sister reach for the folded paper. Buffy takes it in her trembling hands and turns to her.

Dawn looks down at it and takes it. Buffy nods. Dawn unfolds the intricate lock and reads the first line.

“It was written a few weeks ago.” She looks up at her sister.

A few weeks ago things had been very different. Three weeks ago, they were still separated by ignorance and fear.

Three weeks ago, the world was a different place.

It seems like a lifetime ago.

Buffy drifts away thinking of how much time she’d wasted with him; how much love they’d been denied. And all for nothing.

The feel of Dawn’s hand on her leg brings her back. She looks into her blue eyes and frowns at the gold flecks that suddenly appear. Dawns smiles sadly, knowing what she sees.

“It comes and goes.”

Buffy blinks slowly and looks at the papers in her sister’s hands. She then returns her gaze to Dawn’s who clears her throat and begins reading aloud.

~~~~~~~~

Dear Buffy,

How to get this started? You should see the number of pages I’ve already tossed. It all sounds too cliché. ‘If you’re reading this, I must be gone…’ all that rot.

It’s tough, you know? We’ve said so much to each other over the years ~ can hardly be anything left, right? And still…here I am, trying to say good bye to you. Maybe I shouldn’t even bother – things better left unsaid. But, in for a penny…

First with the mea culpa part of the missive. There’s plenty I’ve done to you or involving you for which I’m sorry…and it seems a bit pointless to make a list. You know what they are, and I think by now you know how I feel about them. But on one point, I need to be specific: I was wrong to try to draw you into the darkness. I think part of me even knew it then. But you’ve always fought so hard against the dark in your nature, and since this thing that’s always been between us was a part of that darkness ~ I wanted to push back; make you realize that it was never so black and white as you’d been taught. Of course, I went too far. And that was wrong. Long before that last night upstairs, I’d gone too far. That said, part of your power does spring from darkness, and you’ll never be at peace until you accept that. Coming to terms with it doesn’t mean becoming it’s agent. I tried to draw you to the dark and you resisted it because of who you are. The Slayer’s power may have some mystical source in the forces of both good and evil, but Buffy Summers is a creature of the light. As hard as I tried, in the end, not only did you resist me, you pulled me towards that light. And though it’s been a hell of a lot more painful than I could have imagined, I thank you for it.

‘You know not the day nor the hour.’ That’s from the Bible. Bloody funny, isn’t it? Me a demon, but I remember all those things from when I was alive. William was a pratt, but he was a decent bloke. A bit like Xander, now that I think of it, but worse. Maybe that’s why the whelp’s always irritated me. William just tried so damned hard to please, to be accepted ~ too hard really...that was his trouble. So serious, so earnest. I wonder whether I’d ever have gotten a backbone if I’d lived? I sure spent all the years since then trying to be his opposite. But parts of him just stuck. A lot of the parts that drew me to you were his, and certainly if I ever managed to give you any comfort, or be of any use other than as muscle, that came from him. But you’d laugh yourself sick if you could see what he – I – was like back then. He’s where the good stuff comes from, but he wasn’t tough; not a survivor. He’d never have had anyone’s back. To be of any real use to you, I had to be as I am. Go figure that one.

But, I was going somewhere. ‘You know not the day nor the hour.’ I don’t know how this battle’s going to end. I know that it may be my chance to do things right. To make up for failing on the tower that night. And, if that’s how it ends, it’s probably much better than I deserve.

‘We're not all gonna make it. You know that.’ That’s what you said that night. I was so sure it would be me. And I was fine with that; ready for it, you know? There could have been no better way to end this sorry existence than to save both you girls – my girls – that’s how I thought of you… still do, really. Then, that day in the alley, behind the Magic Box, after you came back ~ you told me what it had been like for you, when you were dead. I really was sorry you had to give that up. Not so sorry, of course, that I wasn’t ecstatic to have you back, nevermind the circumstances. But it made me think about what a good place that must be, and how I’d never know what that was like. It wasn’t supposed to matter to me, what came after this, but at that moment, it really did. I don’t know where my soul was living before I got it back, and I don’t know where it will go when this shell of mine is finally dust. But I can’t think it will be anywhere like that. I’m not like you -- I’ve done too much.

But if we could choose our own afterlife, I know what I’d choose. A place where I could be with you without crisis or struggle or fear ~ just somewhere I could love you without anyone’s recrimination. You know, for all the shagging we did, and as mind-blowing as it was, I’d have given anything to make love with you, even just once. I knew you wouldn’t have it; that wasn’t what you needed from me, or could tolerate from me. Damned ironic! Your Agent Finn and I saw eye-to-eye exactly once, right after I narced out his nasty little habit to you. You probably never knew that he came to my crypt to bluster about for me, and warn me off you. I told him then that sometimes I envied him so much…but then sometimes I thought I’d gotten the better deal; that he could be that close to you and not have you was worse than just plain not having you…we passed a bottle back and forth for a while that day. Of course, then, like a git, he left when he knew he couldn’t have it his way. For me, leaving for good was just never an option. Even when I’d put myself in the same bloody boat as him, just hoping that in time…eh, you know what I hoped. Some of it you were right about…what we were doing couldn’t have grown into something better when it was coming out of so much anger and isolation. I get now that we both deserved better, not just in general, but from each other. Yeh, to rest in the light of your smile, and hold you peacefully in my arms, and just love you… that’s what I’d choose. So, in the end, I guess you were right about that, too…after the consuming passion has taken everything I had, and made me do things I thought impossible, I want to just love you quietly like old married folks. Again, bloody ironic...

You know, I always admired you; I studied you when I first came into town, fascinated with the way you fought ~ your confidence, your spirit, the way you committed to whatever you did, no matter what. And I could also see your fear and your isolation and how heavily your calling weighed on you. When we made that first truce, you were so determined to do what you had to do, but I could almost taste your despair. Course, that didn’t matter much to me, so long as I could blow town. But, from then on the fix was in. Dru may have been one crazy bint, but she could see it long before I could, that we were connected. Dancing with you…well, it felt too good to want to end it. Little did I know where it would take us. Like how I’ve seen around most of those corners that you use to hide what you’re thinking and feeling. You’ve fought me all the way on that, too…I always wondered how your friends could miss so much when they spent so much more time with you. But the times when you let the barriers down for me, and let me see you clearly…the enormity of that’d take my breath away, if I had any, even if it was only because my reaction didn’t matter as much to you as theirs did. It meant that even if I didn’t have your love, and probably never would, I had a part of your trust that no one else did. Not the part you held most important, of course. But, a fellow takes what he can! You’ve always hated it when I’d say I knew what was really going on in your head. Sometimes I was off, but more often, I had you figured out. I can almost hear your protests now, that I don’t know you half so well as I think. But the way we can hold a conversation just looking at each other…you know I’m right.

I guess this is where I have to give you some advice. You need to learn to accept love, Buffy. Was it Angel who made you push it away? Or was it that useless excuse for an absent father of yours? Or are the expectations of others’ love just too much to add to the burdens you already have to bear? Objectively, I know why you had to reject what I represented to you when we were ‘together’. But it goes further than just me ~ I just had the privilege of being the glaring example. You’ve insulated yourself against it, from all quarters, and then don’t know why all your feelings are deadened. That’s why. Two way street – give and receive. Both have to happen for the system to work.

Now, speaking of Angel, and of how I figured into your emotional life, here’s an unpopular idea that I’m compelled to point out – exercising my right as the departed, don’t you know. Part of why you couldn’t accept that I loved you without a soul is because if I was capable of it, then Angel was, too. And you couldn’t deal with why he didn’t. Now, I’m sure you’re working up a head of steam reading this, but be honest. Angel’s the formative experience that defined the meaning of souled and un-souled for you. You figured it out the way you had to in order to keep going, but that doesn’t mean that the way you wrote it is the way it is. Getting my soul back didn’t make me love you any more than I already did. Couldn’t have, actually. It was about trying to be less of a monster. Because you couldn’t love me that way, and also because I thought I’d already become more of a man, and it turned out I hadn’t. And that I wanted to. But I’m not going to let you off the hook for why your feelings for me, and mine for you, were such a struggle for you.

Enough about that ancient history.

Finally, you have to know that the thing that kept me going in that cave with the First and it’s minions doing their worst, was knowing that you believe in me. What I’ve done for you is so negligible next to what I’ve done to you, and yet you can offer me a gift as precious as your faith. It’s…beyond what I can describe. Thank you.

This letter was difficult to begin, and now it’s difficult to end. I guess in a way if I keep writing, you’ll have to keep reading, and that will put off the time when I’m really gone. I miss you. That sounds crazy, a particular specialty of mine of late, but being where you’re not, how could I not miss you? Just thinking about being away from here and you makes me feel empty. So, I won’t think about it, and I’ll try to pull together what last few things I want to say.

Know what an inspiration you’ve been to everyone around you.
Know that none of them ever expected you to be perfect.
Know that if people walk out of your life, it’s because their bleedin’ idiots, not because there’s anything wrong with you.
Let people take care of you sometimes.
Be honest about what you feel ~ honest with yourself and your friends. Sometimes they go in circles trying to figure you out!
Let those goldilocks of yours grow…you’re always beautiful, but never more so than with your hair shining down over your shoulders. It was like having a handful of sunlight…
Remember that Dawn still needs to be reminded that you notice her and that she’s special. Kids are that way, needing reinforcement and all.

I can’t help hoping you might remember the few good things between us more than the rest of it.

As ever ~

Spike

p.s. Keep any of my things, either in your house or at my crypt that you might want, or pitch them all if that appeals to you. And give the Little Bit a pick if she’d like anything for herself. There’s a fussy fountain pen in a box under my cot that belongs to Giles…he’ll be surprised to see it again.
 

~~~~~~

Dawn’s tears cloud her vision as she reads the final lines. She looks up at Buffy who has wrapped her arms around herself, her face the picture of grief. She reaches out and brushes the hair back from her face, gently running the back of her fingers down her cheek.

“Much of what he said here...about what he wanted...he had with you at the end, Buffy.” She continues to stroke her sister’s face and hair.

“Should’ve been more.” Buffy’s voice is weak and strained. “I could have given him so much more, Dawn.” She stares off into nowhere. “So much wasted time.”

“Don’t think about what you didn’t have, Buffy, because what you did have is more than most people could ever dream of.” Dawn states quietly.

“I love him.” Buffy whispers. “Everything about him. He’s...he was...”

“And he loved you. What you are, what you do, how you try. Your kindness, your strength...the best and the worst of you.” Dawn says dreamily. Buffy turns to her stunned.

“What?” Her eyes go wide with recognition. “What d-did you...s-say?” She stares at Dawn as the gold in her eyes completely envelopes the blue.

Dawn sits mesmerized for a moment before she sags and shakes her head.

“I-I dunno.”

Fin