Deadly Crush
By Angel Jade

I always liked Willow. She was the little nerd who you just *couldn’t* not like because she was just so damn plain and insecure about everything. She always reminded my of one of those little dogs that jump at every movement but if you pet them; they’re yours for life.

And that’s how I explain Tara and Willow. Poor Willow lost Oz and the first person to come along and smile at her…she was in love.

Tara likes the attention, I’m sure. But there’s no way they’re in love. It’s just a stupid crush.

But I’m the only one who sees it.

Sometimes Tara looks at me in a way that I think, maybe, she knows what I know. She’s getting ready to dump her loser girlfriend and find someone who can really love her. Someone special.

And the way she’s looking at me…I know who that person is.

I spent so long obsessed with Xander. He treated me nicely, unlike all Buffy’s other friends. But when Tara came along…things changed big time.

Buffy would so kill Willow and Tara if she knew this, but they got me into girls. Before the idea of being gay was just an insult we threw around at school or something really bizarre that guys looked at on the Internet. But Tara showed me how beautiful it can be.

You don’t know how many nights I lay awake while Buffy was gone, listening to them together. I heard how Tara made Willow cry out, but Tara just wasn’t that vocal. Of course I put this down to Willow being lousy in bed, but who knows, maybe she’s the quiet type.

I kissed my best friend once. She was kinda curious and wanted to practice…and I needed to know what it was like. I imagined it was Tara the whole time and it was just so damn perfect…until my best friend freaked and told the whole school I was gay. But hey, it was worth the sacrifice.

Plus, she got hers when passed a nude photograph of her round our class. Stupid bitch really should be careful when she’s showering after gym, you don’t know who’s around.

Tara wouldn’t be like that. She’s sweet and caring and she’d love me so much that I’d never have to get mad at her.

She’d never get mad at me. Not like with Willow, using too much magic. She even had the nerve to curse us all! Having no memory was kinda weird, because I remember it now. I saw how Willow and Tara were looking at each other and it made me sick to see it, even when I had no fucking clue who they were.

It was funny though; even with no memory I was manipulating the group with my ‘I’m too sweet’ act. I was born evil, I swear. Or made evil…either way I’m not the girl they all think I am.

When I got my memory back, I thought that was it. It was over between them. I saw how upset Tara was. Perfect opportunity to comfort her. Show her who’s really there for her.

But she left. Because of Willow, she left. She abandoned me because of that bitch and I was forced to live with my sister and the psycho witch.

Willow’s going to pay for hurting Tara and making her leave. No one gets away with that. And when Tara’s mourning the loss of the wicked witch of the west, I’ll be there.

And this time, she’ll know it.