She had tried, once. When she had Bianca, she had tried so hard to be normal. Bianca, who was so pretty and could talk to anyone, who didn’t get annoyed when Kit couldn’t think of anything to say. Who had kissed her one day while her parents were in the other room. Even if Bianca hadn’t talked to her the week afterwards, Kit wasn’t mad because it had been her first kiss and it had been from Bianca.

Bianca had disappeared eight days later. Kit didn’t try much after that, not for the rest of that year, not for that summer. Not until she met Dawn Summers.

Dawn was a mystery to her. On the outside, Dawn was all sunshine and pretty clothes; the kind of girl that would never talk to her. Why Dawn was trying to make her a friend, Kit couldn’t figure out at first. Even if they had fought a group of scary freaks together and her sister had told them to stick together, Dawn could have done much better for friends than Carlos and herself.

If Dawn knew that, she didn’t do anything about it. She ate lunch with them, laughing at Carlos’ jokes even when they weren’t that funny and sometimes smiling at Kit like she was happy just to sit there and talk about nothing much at all. Kit tried so hard to be normal, to not stare at Dawn when she wasn’t looking, just so she could memorize how Dawn bit her bottom lip as she concentrated on something or how her eyes lit up when she was happy.

It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after meeting Dawn that Kit realized Dawn’s life wasn’t like it seemed. She had been waiting for Dawn after school so they could walk home together like they always did when she caught sight of Dawn through the crowd of students. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Dawn disappear behind the door leading to the basement. After staring at the door for several moments, Kit reached for the handle with shaking hands. She couldn’t let Dawn go down there alone, not after what had happened.

The basement was as dark as she remembered, and the kind of cold that made goosebumps break out over your skin no matter how many layers of clothing you had on. Kit followed the voices, turning right after the stairs and walking down a long corridor until she found an open door. Her heart pounding in her chest, Kit looked into the room to see Dawn crouching next to a blond man. They were talking, but Kit couldn’t hear what they were saying until the man started to get upset.

“You don’t belong here. Mum will get mad, she will,” Kit heard him tell Dawn loudly, making Dawn flinch. Dawn stood up as the man kept talking. “No letting the little sister near the monster. Monster… that’s what I am. Hurt the girl and now I’m a monster.”

Kit watched as Dawn covered her mouth with a hand, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. “I’m so sorry, Spike. I don’t know what to –“ Dawn started before the man – Spike, she had called him - interrupted her.

He looked up, meeting Kit’s eyes without hesitation. The look on his face was so focused and intense it made her gasp. “You brought a friend,” Spike told Dawn, his voice sounding much more lucid than before.

Dawn turned towards the door, her eyes widening with surprise when she saw Kit there. Kit struggled to find an explanation for why she had followed Dawn, expecting her to be mad. Instead, Dawn smiled uneasily and wiped away her tears, turning back to Spike. “That’s Kit. She’s my new friend.”

Spike nodded as if the news was what he was expecting. “She’s pretty.”

Kit looked down at the floor, shocked by the weird compliment. She could feel Dawn’s gaze on her but refused to look up until she heard Spike talking once more. “Why did you bring her?” he asked, his voice angry again. “Can’t you see it’s not safe? Never was safe, even if you write the rules down they will always break again. Break inside, they will.”

Spike started pacing back and forth, talking more to himself than Kit or Dawn. Dawn watched for few moments before walking towards Kit. She slid through the half-open door and looked inside one more time before taking Kit’s hand. Without a word, they waked back to the stairs and out of the basement.

***

Kit was afraid that she had ruined things by sneaking after Dawn, but she hadn’t been angry. For the first time since they met, they talked about what had happened the first day of school. Dawn explained about demons and vampires and her sister that killed vampires and vampires with souls that loved her sister. She explained how Sunnydale was evil-central and how many vampires were in their town.

Dawn invited Kit to her home the next day and gave her a sharp piece of wood, instructing her to always have it with her. Kit gripped the wood hard and tried not to think of Bianca as a pile of dust somewhere.

That night, she stayed for dinner and met Xander and Willow. Kit learned that Xander worked with the construction company at the school and Willow had just come back from England. She felt uncomfortable around so many new people at first, but Xander’s easy humor soon made her feel better. Willow was different, though. Kit kept catching the woman staring at her with this weird look on her face, which only made Kit nervous. Like she did sometimes when she was anxious, Kit kept stuttering when she tried to talk. When Willow hurried back to her room after dinner, Kit tried to hide her relief.

Dawn explained a couple of days later about Willow’s girlfriend. Kit tried not to act too interested in the fact that Dawn had lived with two women who had been in love, but Dawn seemed so okay with the issue that she couldn’t help the spark of hope that arose. That night, she dreamed about Dawn for the first time. In her dream, they were in Dawn’s room on her bed, kissing and laughing like they had no worries at all. From the window, they could hear the wind howling and people laughing, but it didn’t bother them. It all went quiet when Dawn kissed down to her chest, her hand sliding easily into Kit’s jeans.

Kit woke up aroused but embarrassed. She blushed furiously when she first saw Dawn at lunch that day and struggled to act normally. Afterwards, Kit promised herself that she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the friendship they had now that she realized how she felt about Dawn.

***

Kit tried not to be jealous when Dawn started spending time with Cassie. Dawn had explained how she was doing it as a favor for her sister, that they had gotten some hint that something was going to happen to the girl. Kit had shrugged and nodded that she understood, but when she saw Dawn eating lunch with Cassie the next day, her heart sunk. She spent the lunch period trying to pay attention to Carlos complaining about the other guys on the basketball team, how they were a bunch of preps who were too stupid to see any problem with practice lasting until 7:30 when the sun set at 7:00. Kit tried not to look across the room at Dawn too many times to see how happy she was without her, without too much success.

The rest of that week was the same way; even when Dawn invited her over one night, she seemed distracted. As Xander drove her home that night, Kit resigned herself to the fact that she had let something slip, that Dawn knew who she really was now and wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like her. When she got home, she got out her one picture of Bianca for the first time of weeks and looked at it for a long time before finally going to sleep.

The next day was a Friday and Kit was looking forward to a few days where she wouldn’t have to see Dawn walking the halls with a smile on her face that was meant for someone other than her. She hardly saw Dawn at all that day. The only time was after school when she walked past Dawn talking with Cassie just outside of the school. She quickly turned away, walking home alone without waiting for Carlos.

Dawn sounded so upset when she called that night that Kit didn’t hesitate to tell her that she would be right over, ignoring her resolution to not see Dawn again outside of school. Dawn met at her at the door in tears and led her away from the others and up the stairs to her room. Once they settled on the floor, sitting side by side with their backs resting against Dawn’s bed, she explained that Cassie was dead. There was nothing they could have done to save her.

Kit tried to comfort her as best she could, patting her knee and letting Dawn rest her head on her shoulder once the tears had stopped. Finally, Dawn lifted her head and looked at Kit before starting to speak again.

“Cassie talked a lot about time, this last week. About time running out and losing chances you didn’t know you had.”

Kit nodded silently, suddenly afraid that Cassie had read her mind somehow. Thankfully, Dawn didn’t seem to need a response.

“It made me think about Tara and what would have been different if we had known what was going to happen. And then it made me think about you.”

Finally, Kit found her voice. “Me?”

Dawn nodded, her face unreadable. “Yeah, you.”

Time seemed to stand still as Kit took in Dawn’s face, from the hopeful look in her eyes to her full lips. When Dawn closed her eyes and leaned forward, Kit did the same without thinking.

Nothing felt normal about their kiss. It was gentle and exciting, taking Kit’s breath away. Dawn’s lips were sweet and soft and felt better than anything she could imagine. It struck Kit that she was kissing the slayer’s sister the same night that a psychic girl had been kidnapped by some demon-worshipping weirdos and then died from a heart problem. There was a vampire living in the basement of the school and they were on top of the mouth of hell and there was a good chance that her best friend had been killed by demons.

As Dawn leaned in to kiss her again, her fingers sliding through Kit’s hair before cupping her face, Kit decided that if this was weird, normal was very overrated.