"I could so save the world if somebody handed me super powers."

"Oh, scary vampires, they die from a splinter."

"Riley, my sister's boyfriend, is so into her. They're always kissing, and groping. I bet they have sex!"

"I don't think Buffy's Watcher likes me too much. I think it's 'cause he's just so... old. I'm not sure how old he is, but I heard him use the word 'newfangled' one time. So he's gotta be pretty far gone."

"I told Mom one time I wished they'd teach me some of the things they do together. And then she got really quiet and made me go upstairs. I guess her generation isn't cool with witchcraft."

"Babysitter? I'm fourteen! I'm old enough to be a babysitter!"

"She still thinks I'm Little Miss Nobody, just her dumb little sister. Boy, is she in for a surprise."

"Every kid tries to make the substitute cry. It's like a rite of passage."

"I told you you couldn't ditch me!"

"Do you really think I care you're the Slayer?"

"I tell you I have this theory? It goes where you're the one who's not my sister.'Cause mom adopted you from a shoebox full of baby howler monkeys and never told you 'cause it could hurt your delicate baby feelings."

"I am so glad you're moving back into the house. This is the source of my gladness."

"You don't wanna mess with us."

"He called me a thing too. And there was another one. Weird guy outside the magic shop. He said I didn't belong. He said I wasn't real. Why does everybody keep doing that? What's wrong with me?"

"'Alone time' always translates into 'get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud obnoxious sex'."

"It still feels all sudden to me. With him gone where no one can talk to him."

"You're always talking about stuff I'm not supposed to hear. I'm gonna figure it out, you know."

"Like you'd tell me anyway. Dawn's too young and Dawn's too delicate."

"I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you."

"I just think you're getting soft in your advanced age. She didn't look that tough to me."

"Why does everybody start acting all weird when I'm around?"

"I'm not an idiot. I know you're talking about me."

"Right. Of course. Can't let Dawn hear anything. Fine. I'm just gonna go to bed. That way I won't accidentally get exposed to, like, words."

"Sorry, it's just ... come on. I'm badder than you."

"Get out, get out, get out!"

"I'm not going. Blobs of energy don't need an education."

"Don't tell me what to do. You're not my mother."

"It's not Buffy. It's me. I'm the one that doesn't exist."

"I'm nothing! I'm just a thing the monks made so Glory couldn't find me. I'm not real."

"'Cause nothing would make her happier than to find out I'm hanging out after school in the vampire's lair."

"I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all... twitchy and secretive."

"Can you please let him finish the story? Then you could do the lecture?"

"Oh yeah. Real cool. I'm a suicidal head-case."

"What a prima bee-yotch. I swear, if I could make her head explode using only the power of my mind? That's what I'd be doing right about now."

"I mean, how do we know for sure? She's the one who has to be in it forever."

"Spike, I'm not stupid. You're, like, stalking my sister."

"Bone, flesh, breath; I beg of you, return to me."

"She's coming. She's coming home."

"You haven't even cried. You've just been running around like it's been some big chore or something. Cleaning up after Mom's mess."

"We're safe, right. And, uh, Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with."

"Maybe... I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good."

"Hell-bitch in orbit."

"Destroyer of the universe. I guess cutting school doesn't seem so bad now, huh?"

"I have to. Look at what's happening."

"Buffy, you have to let me go. Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing, it'll never stop."

"Check. One mindless automaton coming up."

"I could drive faster and I can't drive!"

"Witches don't really look like that."

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"

"Totally. I haven't paid for lipstick since... forever."

"Oh, like you've never fallen for a vampire?"

"Yes. The fifteen-year-old can spend a half an hour alone in her locked house."

"Does anybody even notice? Does anybody even care?"

"Yeah. It was ironic when all those cute inner-city kids taught their coach a valuable lesson."

"What if they're all in a ditch somewhere? Ditches are bad. Mom always used to talk about the ditches."

"Thanks for your concern."

"No, you're not. You're never here. You can't even stand to be around me."

"Yeah, I know. Important. Whatever that means, right?"

"So. What brings you back to town after you left suddenly with no word?"

"I thought it would suck less this time. It doesn't."

"It's your ideal reality, and I'm not even a part of it."

"What are you doing? What's wrong with you? Stay away from me!"

"Buffy, please, listen to me. That asylum and those people, they're not real!"

"Why don't I come patrolling with you tonight?"

"I'd do it myself if I could."

"I am not a little girl."

"What you're doing here? This is not the way to go! You're only going to make things worse!"

"I need to know! I'm not a kid anymore."

"Look around, Buffy. We're trapped in here! Willow's killing and people I love keep dying! And you cannot protect me from that."

"I got your back."

"What? You think I never watched you?"

"I'm taller than you."

"So, he's got the power?"

"Yeah, I planned to get killed, come back as a vampire, and bite you."

"Maybe you're just paranoid."

"I love you. Go away."

"I'm very into Britney Spears' early work, before she sold out. So mostly her, um, finger painting and macaroni art."

"Lesson one: it's always real."

"Could you die? 'Cause, seriously, speaking for everybody who are me in the car right now, we're very excited."

"You understand you cannot talk to me, look at me, or hang out with any of my friends, right?"

"Right. 'Cause that seems to be the only time you let us in, Buffy. Whenever you want."

"I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her, you're gonna wake up on fire."

"We all deal with death."

"I guess sometimes you can't help."

"You didn't, 'cause you tried. You listened, and you tried."

"People may say something to you you don't understand. Just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying."

"Feel what, exactly?"

"I'm just trying to understand. I mean, none of it makes sense. First you say Spike disgusts you, but secretly you two are doing it like bunnies. And then Spike says he'd die for you, but he tries to rape you."

"You've always been the special one. Hot little Buffy with her boyfriends. The Slayer. And now someone likes me, and you just can't stand that I'm getting the attention. "

"You know what's sad? A girl who can't move on when she's been dumped."

"Oh, my God! I'm the pushy queen of slut town."

"This isn't fair! How can you all be doing this to me?"

"You're older and hotter and have sex that's rough and kill people. I don't have any of that stuff. But if I did this then his whole life he'd know there was someone that loved him so much they'd give up their life."

"Oh. Ah, she'll think it's blood."

"Taste my blade, spawn of evil!"

"Kit, are you there? Is there a storm?"

"Why are you doing this?!"

"That's right! Die, you bastard!"

"She was here, Willow. I saw her. She was here, and she spoke to me."

"Maybe he's just faking so he doesn't have to answer any more questions."

"They're all slayers?"

"I'm just not sure more scared Slayer wannabes translates as help."

"Buffy said if you talked enough, I'm allowed to kill you."

"Is there a language that you're speaking?"

"OK, see, that's why we don't point the weapons in the kitchen."

"She has to die. I mean, if I was ever the slayer, it would mean she died."

"Right, I train with the potentials—other potentials. Learn to do the stuff they're learning."

"I'm chosen."

"She's out. I'll take this one."

"I guess I kinda lost my head when I thought I was the slayer."

"Holy crap!"

"I'm sorry, are you helping?"

"Well, I was gonna do lots and lots of homework, but darn the luck, they went and canceled school, so looks like I got the time."

"Don't listen to him. He won't hurt us. You know what? I'm just gonna go borrow the phone."

"You can't be a part of it. So I need you to leave. I'm sorry, but this is my house, too."

"Shut your mouth."

"Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico."

"Actually I meant to say what the hell happened?"

"Dumbass."

"No. Anything you say is gonna sound like good-bye."

"We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side."

""