Buffy: So, do you have plans later, or are you just gonna go down to the docks and wait for the fleet to come in?
Dawn: What?
Buffy: Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third, Anna Nicole Smith makes you look tacky.
Dawn: Yeah, well I think I look hot, and so does R.J.
Buffy: Oh, I bet he does. Maybe I should go have a little word with him.
Dawn: No! Don't you dare embarrass me in front of him.
Buffy: I don't like this. This boy has you acting crazy.
Dawn: It's my life. I'll do what I want to.
Buffy: I don't think so.
Dawn: Oh. So, what—suddenly you're Mom now?
Buffy: No, I'm not. And I am glad she's not here to see you like this. Look, I'm sorry. I just—
Dawn: You just can't handle it.
Buffy: What?
Dawn: You've always been the special one. Hot little Buffy with her boyfriends. The Slayer. And now someone likes me, and you just can't stand that I'm getting the attention.
Buffy: That is the farthest thing from true.
Dawn: No it's not. And I'm sorry, but I like the way R.J. makes me feel, and if you think that makes me a slut or whatever, I don't care.

Cheerleader: I know what you're doing, slut. I saw you. I saw you with R.J.!
Dawn: So? We were just dancing.
Cheerleader: Right? You think I'm stupid? You're gonna back off now.
Dawn: You know what's sad? A girl who can't move on when she's been dumped.
Cheerleader: He didn't dump me!
Buffy: OK, first with the lap dance, now with the cat fight. Hey, you wanna get drunk and barf next?
Dawn: Let go of me. This isn't finished.
Cheerleader: I'll never let you have him, bitch. R.J. is mine. I mean it! Stay away from him!
Buffy: Well, at least someone agrees you shouldn't be dating this guy.

Buffy: Dawn. You wanna come talk to me?
Dawn: Ambush.
Buffy: I wanted to tell you that I talked to R.J. today. He's OK. I think he likes you.
Dawn: Really? Tell me what he said about me—every word—including intonation and facial expressions.
Buffy: Well, he thinks you're-you're funny and-and pretty and interesting. Didn't have a thing to say against you.
Dawn: Yes, he did. I can tell.
Buffy: The tiniest thing. He might have said that you came on a little strong.
Dawn: Oh, my God! I'm the pushy queen of slut town.
Buffy: No, honey, honey, not at all. No, no. It's just—you know, lay back a little. Let him come to you.
Dawn: I'm just scared that while I'm laying back, some other girl's gonna come and sweep him up.
Buffy: But we have inside info. We know he doesn't like being swept. He likes to be the sweeper. Dawn, you're gonna come out the winner here, with me looking out for you.

Xander: Dawn? What's wrong? Is this— Did that guy in the jacket—
Dawn: Uh! I don't even want to hear his name anymore!
Xander: I just called him "that guy in the jacket".
Dawn: That's what I used to call him in my head before I knew his real name!
Xander: Dawnie, honey, you seem extremely perturbed. Maybe I should go get Buffy—
Dawn: No! I don't ever want to see her again.
Xander: I thought that was about that guy in the— um, that guy with the thing.
Dawn: No, it's about both of them.

Dawn: What's going on?
Anya: Willow thinks she's in love with my boyfriend, R.J.
Dawn: What? No! You two can't do this.
Buffy: Willow, you're a gay woman—and he isn't.
Willow: This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a penis!
Willow: I can work around it!
Dawn: This isn't fair! How can you all be doing this to me?
Buffy: OK, wait. Everyone wait. Just calm down, OK? I-I think I know what this is. Clearly, you've both been affected by the same love spell that got Dawn.
Dawn: Uh! This isn't a spell. He owns my heart.
Buffy: Dawn, be quiet. We're trying to work this out. We don't need you interfering.
Willow: There's a simple answer to this. Just think about who loves him the most. Clearly I do, since I'm willing to look past the whole orientation thing.
Dawn: I need him.
Anya: Well, you're gonna have to do better than that—I'd kill for him.
Willow: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.
Buffy: No. Yes! Kill for him. I'm the slayer. Slayer means kill. Oh, I'll kill the principal.
Anya: Ooh, that is hard to top.
Willow: Yeah, well I have skills. I can prove my love with magic.
Anya: Yeah, right. What're you gonna do—use magic to make him into a girl? Damn. Ooh, I know what he'll like.
Buffy: Sorry, Dawnie. You're never gonna get him.
Dawn: No. Never.

Buffy: What were you doing? I mean, what is this?
Dawn: It doesn't matter.
Buffy: This is the plan? You're gonna steal R.J. by being trisected?!
Dawn: What am I—gonna compete with you? You're older and hotter and have sex that's rough and kill people. I don't have any of that stuff. But if I did this then his whole life he'd know there was someone that loved him so much they'd give up their life.
Buffy: Dawn...
Dawn: And it would be true forever.
Buffy: No guy is worth your life—not ever.
Dawn: R.J. is. And don't say he isn't. Look what you were willing to do.
Buffy: Dawn, I would give him to you in a second if I could. That's how much you're scaring me.
Dawn: But I—I thought you wanted him... for you.
Buffy: Nah. Well, yeah. My God, that boy is hot. Sorry. I think I might be under a spell here.
Dawn: I hear ya.

""