Title: A Sympathetic Ear
Author: Paradox761
Email: Paradox761@mail.com
Website: members.tripod.com/~Paradox761
(BtVS/Farscape, Chiana/Xander, John/Aeryn, slight B/X & B/R)
Disclaimer: Joss and Co. own Buffy; SFC, Jim Henson Productions, and Rockne S. O’Bannon own Farscape; and I own a steaming hot cup of jack squat. No copyright infringement is intended, blah blah blah, you know the rest.
Summary: Depressed about feeling useless and under appreciated, Chiana hides in Aeryn's Prowler when it suddenly launches. But when it passes through a wormhole that leads to Earth's past, John and Aeryn find themselves on a rescue mission, and John finds himself feeling a little nostalgic. But what happens when they run into the Hellmouth, and a certain blonde vampire slayer? Will John and Aeryn be able to find Chiana before the Initiative decides to dissect her? And what happens when Chiana finds something she never expected to find on such a strange, alien world. A kindred spirit.
Author’s note: Takes place in the Farscape universe between the season 2 episodes “A Clockwork Nebari” and “Liars, Guns, and Money”, and in the Buffy universe in early season 5.

“I found it!” Tara exclaimed excitedly from the passenger seat of Giles car.

Willow took her eyes of the Air Force base to turn to her girlfriend. “What?”

“Watch,” Tara said as she turned in her seat to face Chiana in the back. She sat on her knees with the book open on her lap and motioned for Chiana to sit up closer. “I promise this won’t hurt Chiana, I just want to try something.”

Chiana looked a little apprehensive, but she complied. Willow looked on curiously.

Tara pulled as small leather drawstring pouch out of her pocket and opened it. Reaching inside with two fingers, she brought out a pinch of powder and rubbed it onto her left palm with her right index finger. She began reading an incantation from the book. “Admitto ceptum ab anima sodes.”

And with that, she blew onto her hand, sending the powder up into the air, and into Chiana’s face. The powder seemed to glow magically for a moment, as Chiana recoiled a little and blinked her eyes several times. Tara looked on expectantly, like she was waiting for something. Chiana shook her head a little and her nose twitched. She inhaled sharply, and sneezed. Tara smiled.

“Bless you,” Willow said.

“Thank you,” Chiana said. “What the frell was that stuff?”

Tara’s grin widened and Willow’s mouth fell open. “Just some enchanted herbs, and a little eye of newt.”

Chiana’s eyes widened. “You can understand me now?”

Tara nodded. “Translation spell,” she said. “It will only last a few hours, but it’s enough time to say goodbye.”

Chiana smiled. “Thank you.”

Tara just smiled. Just then there was the sound of an explosion. The three of them turned back in time to see a brief flash of light and a column of black smoke rising into the air.

“That’s our cue,” Willow said, starting the car. “Get ready.”

Tara nodded and put the book she was holding back down at her feet. She picked up another one and turned quickly to a page that had already been marked. She looked over it for a moment before looking up again. She glanced over to Willow, who still looked a little nervous. She reached out and took her hand for a second, giving it a squeeze. Willow looked over and smiled warmly.

Not even a second later there was the sound of wood breaking and tires screeching as Xander’s green Caddy flew out of the front gate of the Air Force base. It skidded as Xander jerked the wheel sharply, and took off again as he gunned the gas.

Willow hit the gas as soon as she saw the car emerge, trying to get between Xander and the pursuing soldiers. A few soldiers on foot followed out of the gate with guns drawn, taking shots at the Cadillac. Willow swerved a little as she drove past, causing most of them to jump out of the way, afraid that she would hit them. She glanced over briefly and saw two jeeps coming out of the gate, the soldiers on the back brandishing nasty looking machine guns.

Tara grabbed on to the back of her seat as she turned around to face the soldiers now behind them. She held up her hand and shouted an incantation. “Reproba monstrum prodeo!”

Chiana looked on as she crouched down in the backseat. A beam of white light shot out of Tara’s hand and broke into a large, bright flash right before it reached the soldiers. Chiana shielded her eyes for a moment, and when she looked back, there was a large creature standing in front of the soldiers. It was at least ten feet tall, with horns on top of it’s head, and large clawed hands. It roared, and the soldiers turned and ran the other way. The two jeeps skidded to a stop so fast that they nearly collided with each other, coming to a stop directly in front of the monster. Willow was driving so fast that it was hard to see what happened next, but the soldiers certainly lost interest in chasing after them, that was clear.

“What the frell is that thing?” Chiana asked.

“Ra’Kella demon,” Tara answered. “I thought it would provide an adequate distraction for our escape.”

“You mean you conjured that thing?”

“Oh, goddess no,” Tara said. “Conjuring takes a lot more power than that. That isn’t actually a Ra’Kella demon, it’s just an illusion. It isn’t even solid, though I doubt anyone will get close enough to discover that. It will snarl and roar like that for another ten minutes or so before it disappears.”

“Cool,” Chiana said. “So now what happens?”

Willow was about to answer when she was interrupted by Xander’s voice, screaming across the desert night. “YEEEE-HAW!”

The three of them just smiled. “Now, you can go home,” Willow answered.

Chiana smiled again as she thought of that word, of what it meant to her. “Home.”

*

Xander got back on the highway, knowing that even if they were still being followed somehow, that they’d lose them in the traffic. He drove to the next exit, Willow close behind, and took a series of side roads that lead them to an old dirt fire road that hadn’t been in use for decades. They drove for nearly an hour until they came across the others. They were literally in the middle of nowhere; the road and the desert were the only things for miles around. The truck was parked perpendicular to the road. Buffy was sitting on the hood Indian style, her chin resting in her hands and a worried expression on her face. John and Aeryn stood off to the side, talking.

Buffy jumped down from the truck when she saw Xander’s car approaching. Xander stopped the car just in front of the truck, Willow stopped Giles’ car just behind him. Buffy rushed to Xander as he was getting out of the car and hugged him. “You made it,” she said with a smile.

“Of course,” Xander said, hugging Buffy back. “You doubted me?” he said, flashing his trademark grin. Buffy just smiled back and turned to Willow, giving her a hug too.

“We’re you followed?” John asked, he and Aeryn walking up to Xander.

“No,” Xander said. “Tara’s illusion spell worked like a charm. What about you guys?”

“Nope, the explosion was very distracting. Your plan worked great.”

“It wasn’t exactly *my* plan,” Xander said.

“The majority of it was,” John answered.

“What about your other ship?” Xander changed the subject.

“I sent for it remotely, it’s already on it’s way here. We’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

Xander just smiled. That’s when he heard someone behind him say his name. The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place it immediately. When he turned around he saw Chiana standing there, smiling at him. Willow and Tara were smiling too. “Chiana?” Xander asked in amazement.

Chiana nodded with a smile. “That’s right, it’s me,” she said.

“How?”

“Tara cast some kind of a spell,” Chiana answered.

Xander looked to Tara who just smiled in return. Willow was ushering Buffy back to the truck, as well as John and Aeryn.

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” Chiana said once they were alone. “And to say thank you for all you’ve done.”

“Not a problem.”

“Xander, I mean it. You risked your life for a complete stranger, and from what I’ve seen it’s something that you do a lot. You shouldn’t dismiss that just because you don’t think you have any special abilities. Because from what I’ve seen tonight, you have a lot of special abilities. And I think that maybe your friends are starting to see that again.”

“I want to thank you too, for what you said earlier. It made me realize that maybe I was seeing myself the way I thought others saw me. You made me realize that I can believe in myself, and make them believe. The things I did tonight, I don’t think I would have had the confidence to pull them off before. I owe that to you.”

Chiana leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Xander in a hug, nestling her face in his shoulder. Xander returned the embrace tightly. Chiana pulled back a little and looked up at Xander. “When I first came here, I was depressed, feeling a little useless, just like you were. But I’m not useless either, and I want to thank you for helping me see that.” Chiana paused, her expression becoming sad. “If things were different…”

Xander nodded, his face looking sad too. “I know,” he said. “I wish things could have been different.”

“So do I.” Chiana looked into Xander’s eyes a moment longer before leaning up and touching her lips to his gently. The kiss was slow and sweet, gradually becoming more passionate. Xander’s hands slid up her back, and Chiana’s hands started winding into his hair. Neither of them noticed the others watching them, or the transport as it flew closer and hovered overhead. Xander put his hands on Chiana’s hips and pulled away slowly, their eyes remaining locked.

“I think your ride’s here,” Xander said, not moving his eyes. He paused. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“I guess so,” Chiana said simply. “I hate goodbyes.”

“So do I,” Xander agreed. “So, we won’t say goodbye. We’ll just say…until next we meet.”

“We probably won’t meet again.”

“I know.”

Chiana nodded. “Until next we meet,” she said. The hugged again briefly, and started walking toward the transport where it landed next to the truck.

John and Aeryn were already fueling up the Prowler, and it looked like they were ready to go. Chiana stood in the entranceway of the transport while John was putting away the fuel line. He reached out and shook Xander’s hand. “Thank you again for all your help, all of you,” he said. He shook Buffy’s hand too, and gave Willow and Tara a friendly smile.

“Not a problem,” Xander said. He took the pin off of his shirt and handed it back to John. “I believe this is yours.”

John was about to take it back, but he stopped. He turned and looked at Chiana, then back to Xander. “No,” he said. “You keep it. To remember us by.”

Xander closed his fingers around the communicator. “If you ever make it back to Earth, look me up,” he said with a kind of sad expression on his face. “We’ll have a beer or something.”

John smiled. “Count on it.”

John headed for the door of the transport where Chiana still stood. She and Xander locked gazes for a moment more, before she finally turned and went inside. John followed, giving Xander and the others one last wave, and motioning for them to stand back.

They stood back and watched as both ships ascended into the night sky, and took off. Disappearing into the stars. Buffy wasn’t sure over the noise, but she thought that her slayer hearing picked out Xander’s voice, saying, “Goodbye.” She turned to Xander when the ships were out of sight, but he wasn’t standing next to her anymore. The three girls looked down the road at the only sign of him, a cloud of dust and the familiar taillights of a late model Cadillac.

*

John, Aeryn and Chiana made it back through the wormhole and to Moya without any problems, none of them worse for wear. In fact, Chiana seemed a little more upbeat since the experience. John made a mental note to talk to her later. Some of the things that she had said about feeling useless had disturbed him, but it seemed like she and Xander had both helped each other in that respect. She was currently in Command, talking with the others.

John walked onto the hanger deck and spotted Aeryn, next to her Prowler leaned over the cockpit. He walked over to her slowly, his footsteps echoing throughout the chamber. He stopped next to her. “Hey,” he said simply.

Aeryn stood from where she was leaning over, a tool of some kind in her hand. She just looked at John for a moment before responding. “Hey,” she said, before returning to her work.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m installing a few more security protocols on the take off sequence. I’ve also disabled the auto-landing sequence until I can fix that programming glitch,” Aeryn answered.

“Good,” John said, shuffling his feet a little. He looked nervous. “Look, I think we need to talk,” he finally said.

“Do you now?” Aeryn returned, going back to what she was doing. “About what?”

“About…Earth.” John paused, then let out a frustrated sigh. He was clearly irritated with himself for not being able to say what he wanted. “Look, Aeryn, I never wanted you to be anything you’re not. I know that you’re a Peace Keeper, and that you can’t change that. And, if I ever made you feel bad for that, then…well, I’m sorry.”

Aeryn looked up at that. “And what does that have to do with Earth?”

“Things are different now then they were when I first came aboard Moya. I just wanted you to know that…well…” John drifted off as he blew another frustrated breath out between his teeth. “Earth is important to me, and I can’t change that any more then you can change who you are. But the reason it’s important to me is because it was my home, it was everything I knew. But lately I’ve been thinking about an old human expression. ‘Home is where people love you.’ And I’ve realized that Moya is my home now. And I just wanted to tell you, that if I ever do find a way back to Earth. I…well, I…”

“I understand John,” Aeryn said, still trying to pretend like she didn’t care. “And you don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“But I want to. I want you to know…”

“I do.”

“No Aeryn, I…”

“John,” Aeryn interrupted. “I know. Moya is my home now, too,” she said more slowly. “I understand.”

John just looked at her for a moment. There was something in her eyes, something that her lips could never say. And for now, that was enough.

“I’ve got work to do,” Aeryn said breaking the silence. She paused. “I could use a hand.”

John smiled. “Sure thing.”

*

Xander was sitting on the roof of his apartment building, watching the sun come up, and thinking about Chiana. He was thinking about how it seemed like every time he started to have feelings for someone, they were ripped away from him violently. Maybe it was his masochistic subconscious, forcing him to fall for all the unattainable women. The slayers and the demons and the aliens from other galaxies. And it forced him to sabotage the relationships that were going good. The fluke with Willow was a masterstroke, he managed to kill and chance he had with Willow and with Cordelia all at the same time. Willow went running back to Oz, and Cordy went running to LA. In the end he managed to keep both their friendships, though god knows how. But then came Anya, and for the first time in his life, Xander was in a mature, adult relationship. It made him feel like maybe his curse with women was over, like maybe he had finally grown up, and it was his turn to be happy finally. But she was ripped from him too. She left, unable to face life as a mortal, and bored with the idea of a human relationship. Bored with Xander.

Oh well, at least the sex had been good. Xander smiled at that thought. And that’s when he realized, that despite the drudging up of bad memories he was doing, despite his seemingly endless streak of bad luck with women, he was in a pretty good mood. This night had started with him feeling sorry for himself, feeling useless and under appreciated. And it ended with him proving himself, to his friends and to himself. With him realizing that he didn’t do what he did for recognition, or to impress anyone, or even to prove himself. He did it because he wanted to, because he thought it was the right thing to do. And that made him feel better about himself. And as he looked out over the town of Sunnydale, with the sky filling with shades of red and orange, the first rays of sunlight bringing the new day, he smiled.

Xander heard the heavy, steel door to the roof open behind him. And footsteps on the gravel. He didn’t turn until he saw a figure in his peripheral vision. It was Buffy. She hoped up and sat on the ledge next to him, facing the roof where Xander faced away from it. “Hey,” she said with a reassuring smile.

“Hey,” Xander returned, smiling too to let her know that he was okay. “How did you know I was up here?”

“Willow told me that when you need to think, you go someplace high. I took a chance.”

Xander nodded, turning back to the eastern sky. “I like watching the sun rise,” he said after a moment. “Especially after nights like tonight. I started doing it years ago. The first time was after the Harvest actually, when I…when Jesse died. I sat on the roof outside my bedroom window all night, just thinking. And when I watched the sunrise, I felt a little bit better. It reminds me that there’s still light in the world, that what we do night after night means something. That evil has been defeated for one more day.” He turned and looked at Buffy again. “It’s corny, I know.”

“No,” Buffy said. “I don’t think it’s corny at all.” Buffy turned around on the ledge so that she was facing the sun too. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but I used to cry every night when I came home from patrol.” Xander turned to look at her, concern in his eyes. “It’s okay, it was a long time ago. When I was first called, and a little after we first moved to Sunnydale.” She paused. “I just felt so…overwhelmed. Once I learned how much evil there really was in the world, and that I was the one responsible for destroying it, I was scared. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I kept thinking of all the people that I couldn’t save, and how little power I really had. But then I realized something. I realized that there wasn’t anything I could do about the things that I couldn’t do. And I realized that I do make a difference. That every person I save, and every demon I kill, means something. That I am the chosen one for a reason, and as long as I do the best I can, I’m fulfilling my destiny. You want to know how I learned all that?”

“How?”

“From you. And Willow, and Giles. The friendship, and the love that you’ve given me, even with all of my faults, has shown me that I’m worth something.” Buffy smiled. “Of course, sometimes I forget, but I’ve always got you guys to remind me. To recharge me, and to remind me that destiny or no, I do what I do because I want to. Because it’s the right thing to do.” Xander smiled at that. “And I owe a large part of that to you.”

“Thank you, Buffy,” Xander said.

Buffy scooted closer to him and leaned against him, putting her head on his shoulder. Xander put his arm around her shoulder. “I’m sorry about Anya,” she said.

“How did you know about that?”

“Chiana told Willow,” Buffy answered.

Xander nodded. “It’s okay, I think it was a long time coming. She was just having too much trouble adjusting to being human again. Besides, I don’t think she really loved me.”

“Did you love her?”

“I thought I did.” Xander paused. “I guess I’m not so sure maybe. Maybe I was more in love with the idea of her.”

“The idea of a former man-hating vengeance demon?”

“The idea of a normal relationship, as odd as that sounds. Someone to cuddle up with at night. I guess that’s what I’ll miss the most, the intimacy. Not the sex necessarily, but the closeness.” Xander paused and smiled. “The sex was incredible though.”

“TMI, Xan.”

“Sorry,” Xander said, still smiling a little. “I’m sorry about Riley.”

“Don’t be, it’s better this way,” Buffy said. “He was right, I don’t love him. I guess I didn’t even realize it until he said it, that I had never said those words. I think it’s like you said, I was more in love with the idea of him. A normal guy. A normal relationship.” She let out a sigh. “But I wasn’t being fair to him. I want to thank you for what you said to him at the base.”

“Don’t mention it, I just said what had to be said.”

“And I want to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For ignoring you. For treating you…the way we treated you. You mean so much to us…to me, and I haven’t been fair to you either. You’ve always been there for me, and I guess I just thought that you always would. I took you for granted, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Buffy.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, it really is,” Xander said, giving her a smile. “It’s like I said to Riley, it comes down to motivation. Why you do what you do. And I don’t do what I do for recognition.” Xander paused. “I will admit, I’ve been hurt a little, feeling like I don’t matter to you guys. That, you’ve moved on without me. But that’s okay. I know that there’s no room for bruised feelings when you’re trying to save the world, I understand that. You’re the slayer, one of the greatest that has ever lived. You have a destiny, a sacred duty. I can’t let my fragile ego interfere with that.”

“No, Xander, it isn’t okay. I know that you don’t do what you do for recognition, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it. Especially from your friends. It doesn’t mean that we have a right to ignore you, or belittle you. And whether or not I’ve been a great slayer, I don’t know. But I’ve been a pretty lousy friend.” She paused. “Something I said to Giles tonight got me thinking. I said that there are only two kinds of people in this world, those I protect, and those I fight. But I was wrong, there’s a third kind too. Those who help me. Those brave and noble few who risk their lives night after night, not for duty and destiny, but out of friendship and love. Out of the goodness of their hearts. Xander, I know you think that you don’t have any special abilities like the rest of us, but that isn’t true. You have a super heart. It’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen in fact. And it’s so filled with love, and bravery, and self-sacrifice. You, Xander Harris, are a great man. And I’m proud to call you my friend. And I’m sorry that I haven’t been treating you like one.”

Xander looked down at Buffy, tears threatening to come. He had never gotten that kind of affirmation before. And he had waited so long. So long, wondering if what he was doing mattered. If he truly was an asset, or a liability. So long, to feel the kind of love that he felt right now. The love that he realized had been there all along, just forgotten. And he realized that a family isn’t the people who share your last name, they’re the people who share your life. And this, these people, truly were family. “Thank you,” he said, his voice a little choked up. They both leaned together and hugged each other tightly. Xander laughed a little. “I feel a little like a hypocrite. Talking about how I don’t need recognition, and then you say all those…beautiful things, and I get all weepy.”

Buffy smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Xander chuckled again, his arm around Buffy’s shoulder and her leaning against him. “Thanks Buff, you’re all heart.” After that, they just sat there, looking at the morning sky. Xander found himself thinking about Chiana again, and about the future. About what it would bring. “So what happens now?” he asked, somewhat rhetorical.

“It’s a new day,” Buffy said, motioning toward the morning sky. “The possibilities are endless.”

The End