Title: Am I Evil?
Author: Kylia
Email: kylia_bug@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Nobody belongs to me, unfortunately. They belong to Joss & Mutant Enemy, and a few other people I don't know.
Rating: R
Spoilers: Everything up to "The Initiative". The story starts during the dorm scene from The Initiative; it's my own twisted world after that.
Category: Willow/Spike
Summary: What if Spike had never been implanted when he visited Willow in the dorms?
Distribution: Fire & Ice, WitchFanFic, Of Sire & Childe, anyone else, ask, and you shall receive
Author's Notes: having a bit of Writers Block. Hoping this will help.
Dedication: To Inell, who knows how I feel.

Willow sat on her bed and let her mind wander. It always wandered to the same place. She was alone. Truly alone. Oz had left. He had said it was for the best, but that had been an excuse. He just didn't want to be with her anymore. He didn't find her as exciting as the she-wolf. A part of her was fine with that, or so she had thought. But the idea that she had been passed over by the only person who had ever shown her any interest ate at her. It consumed her.

She heard a knock at the door. "Come in." She said. She wasn't really in the mood for company.

The door opened and Spike walked in. She jumped off of the bed. "Spike." She watched as he strolled around the room.

"What do you want? A spell? I… I can do that." She knew that wasn't what he wanted, but she hoped to prolong her life for just a little bit longer, although to be honest, she wasn't sure why.

Forgetting for a second her desire to end the pain, she rushed towards the door, hoping to escape. Spike caught her and through her back towards the bed. She felt her body hit the end table next to the bed. She straightened up and watched him warily.

"I'll give you a choice." Spike told her as he stalked towards her slowly.

"Now I'm gonna kill you, no choice in that. But… I can let you stay dead or… I can bring you back, to be like me."

Willow watched as he stalked towards her. She couldn't help but noticed how sexy he was, stalking towards her like an animal seeking out its prey. For a moment, she let herself notice how well his clothes clung to his form. She saw him suck in his bottom lip slightly as he spoke. She was mesmerized. She couldn't ignore the desire she felt watching him, as his demon face took over his human features. She wondered, for just a moment, what it would be like if she surrendered. If she allowed him to bite her, allowed him to end her pain.

She heard herself respond, although she wasn't really sure what made her speak. "I'll scream."

Spike grinned. "Bonus"

She watched as he bent his head towards her neck, and felt his fangs pierce her flesh. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. She could feel her blood being drained from her body, her life slowly giving way, to something else, something new, something powerful. She was vaguely aware of something being pressed against her lips. In the back of her mind she heard him telling her to drink. She complied, without really knowing why she was doing as he asked. She should be fighting him, begging him to let her die. But she knew she didn't want to die. She didn't want to be weak.

She felt the thick liquid slide down her throat, the metallic taste heavy in her mouth. She knew that she should be disgusted by what she was becoming, what she was allowing him to make her. She wasn't. That was her last thought before the darkness claimed her.

Spike watched her sleep. It would be several hours before she woke. He had given her more blood than was needed to embrace her, but he had wanted her to be strong, powerful, an equal.

He had come to her room looking for the Slayer, but he was pleased that he had found Red alone instead. She intrigued him. He had thought of her often since he had kidnapped her the previous year. If he had been smart, he would have turned her then, and left Dru to rot. But no, he had to go running back to Brazil, like a lost puppy. Well, no more. He was through playing second fiddle to his blasted sire. Red was his, and only his. She would make a magnificent vampire; he could just sense that about her.

For all her innocence, there was something dark just under the surface. Something waiting to be unleashed. He couldn't wait to see the damage she would cause.

A noise outside drew Spike's attention away from Willow. He looked out the window and saw several of those commandos's he had escaped from. He turned back to Willow's sleeping form and cursed. He needed to get her away. She wasn't ready for a fight. She needed to get used to her new life.

He picked her up and carried her out of the dorm and away from the campus. He placed her gingerly in his car and left Sunnydale behind. There would be plenty of time to return. Plenty of time to seek his revenge on the Slayer and those military guys. With Red by his side, nothing could stop them.

Buffy sighed heavily against the door to her dorm. She closed her eyes tightly. She couldn't believe what had almost happened. She'd had another run in with those commandos. She didn't know what they were doing in the dorms. They seemed to be searching for something, or someone.

She let her body sink to the ground in exhaustion. She sat like that for several minutes before she realized how quiet the room was. She opened her eyes, half expecting to see Willow asleep in her bed. She wasn't.

Buffy took a look around the room. Everything seemed to be in order. The bed seemed to be a bit ruffled, but other than that, everything was fine. She shrugged. Willow had probably gone out. Maybe she was visiting Xander, or Giles. She put in concern she may have felt to the back of her mind as she changed her clothes and climbed into bed. She was asleep in a matter of seconds.




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