Title: Am I Evil? (8/16)
Author: Kylia
Email: kylia_bug@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Nobody belongs to me, unfortunately. They belong to Joss & Mutant Enemy, and a few other people I don't know.
Rating: R
Spoilers: Everything up to "The Initiative". The story starts during the dorm scene from The Initiative; it's my own twisted world after that.
Category: Willow/Spike
Summary: What if Spike had never been implanted when he visited Willow in the dorms?
Distribution: Fire & Ice, WitchFanFic, Of Sire & Childe, anyone else, ask, and you shall receive
Author's Notes: having a bit of Writers Block. Hoping this will help.
Dedication: To Inell, who knows how I feel.

Buffy ran frantically down the street. She didn't know what she would say when she got there. She didn't know anything any more. Her life had ceased to make any sense. Willow had run away, Xander and Anya had grown apart, even Angel and Cordelia had left. They had moved from Los Angeles to New York several years ago and she could never bring herself to call them. She didn't want to be reminded of the way her life had changed. The way that Angel was still fighting evil, still saving souls, while she, the Slayer, sat back and watched others to it for her.

And now, Xander was dead. Spike had killed him. She knew it had to have been him. And now she was going to hunt him down, and do what she should have done a decade ago. She was going to stake him, and watch as he turned to dust.

She turned down a small street and looked around. She had found out from Brian where the new master was supposed to be living. She looked up. There was a large house, which seemed to be looming over her in the darkness. It was surrounded on all sides by heavy vines. Perfect for keeping the sunlight away, she thought dryly.

She was about to barge in through the front door, completely oblivious to the kind of danger that kind of entrance would cause. She was halted in her steps as the front door was thrust open.

Cordelia stood there, in the doorway, her back to Buffy, as she was speaking to someone Buffy couldn't see.

"Cordy?" Buffy choked out, shocked beyond belief to see the former cheerleader standing there. She looked the same, but different. She hadn't appeared to age, which considering it had only been seven years wasn't that surprising, but there was something different about her. S he couldn't quite place it.

"Buffy." Cordelia looked the slayer over carefully. "What are you doing here?" She asked casting a nervous glance behind the Slayer, searching for anybody she may have brought with her. "Are you alone?"

Buffy nodded absently. "Is… is Angel here?"

Cordelia stepped aside, allowing Buffy to see Angel who stood behind Cordelia, leaning up against the staircase banister.

"You shouldn't be here." He told her quietly. He was thankful both spike and Willow were preoccupied with their 'guest'.

"So it's true then? Spike is back?" She asked, both needing to know, and dreading the answer.

"How did you know?" Angel asked cautiously. He knew Spike hadn't left the house since their arrival. He was waiting, although for what Angel wasn't certain.

Cordelia closed the door and moved silently around the entryway, appraising the slayer. She could sense the demon's hatred for her. It was strong. Despite the control the soul had over Angel's body, she couldn't imagine how he had dealt with the desire to kill her. Her close proximity was driving home emotions Cordelia had never felt before.

Angel could feel Cordelia in the back of his mind. It was a mixture of disgust, curiosity and fear. It was then that he realized that this was the first time the couple had been near the Slayer since before the change. They were frequently around Faith, but she was different. The demon accepted her more readily than it had ever accepted Buffy. He never stopped to question why that was, but now, feeling his demons reaction to Buffy, through his link to Cordelia reminded him of exactly how things had changed, and how much they hadn't.

He hadn't really changed. He was the same demon he had been when he had met Buffy. He was the same vampire cursed with a souled existence. Sure other things had changed, but his demon had remained the same. The fact that his demon had accepted Cordelia fully, despite her humanity, attested to how impossible a relationship with Buffy had been. He shook his head of the thoughts and memories, which seemed to be invading. So much had changed. Things he had never wanted or expected, but things that he wouldn't change.

Buffy stared at Angel carefully. It had been so long since she had seen him. So long since she had even spoken to him. Seeing him here, in what was apparently Spike's house, brought back a rush of emotions. But not the emotions she would have expected on seeing her old love after so much time.

She didn't feel that familiar ache that seeing him used to bring her. She could remember what their love had been like, what it felt like, but it was nothing more than a memory now. Things had changed. They had changed. Now, she found herself wondering what it was Angel was doing back in Sunnydale and with Cordelia as well. She knew that they worked together but she hadn't known they were that close. She had believed Angel had felt sorry for the former cheerleader and that was why he had let her following him to New York. But seeing her here, with him, on what didn't appear to be a business trip, brought a whole new slew of questions to her mind.

Her mind shuffled through all of these thoughts quickly, as she tried to answer his question. She stared at him, demanding an explanation for his arrival in Sunnydale as well as for why he was at Spike's house. "Drusilla." S he spoke as calmly as she could muster under the circumstances.

"What?" Angel asked, shocked. Of all of the answers she could have given him, that was nowhere on the list.

"She's here, in Sunnydale." When he looked at her blankly, she continued. "Drusilla, she's…"

"Dead." Cordelia spoke for the first time since Buffy entered the house. Buffy looked at her oddly. "She's dead."

"What? No, someone saw her, tonight. She's alive, or at least undead." Buffy denied. She turned towards Angel. "How do you know?"

"We felt it." Cordelia spoke quietly. "She's been dead a long time. Whoever you saw, it wasn't her."

Buffy stood there in shock. She was positive it had been Drusilla. Who else could it have been? Whoever Brian had seen had come into town with Spike. If not Drusilla, then who?

A shriek from upstairs drew Angel's attention away from Buffy. Cordelia ran upstairs to see what had happened. She found Melanie huddled on the floor in the hall, sobbing blood red tears.

"Shh, Mellie, what's wrong?" Cordelia soothed as she brought the vampire into her arms.

"They took him. They're hurting him." She cried.

Cordelia didn't ask who; she had a bad feeling she knew who Melanie was talking about. "Come on, You need to rest." She took the vampire into the nearest room and lay her down on the bed. After it appeared she had drifted off to sleep, Cordelia returned down stairs. She turned Angel, ignoring the Slayer, who had started wandering into the living room.

"It's Trevor. They have him."

Xander opened his eyes and tried to remember what had happened. His mind was fuzzy. He tried to sit up and found he could barely move. Wherever he was, there wasn't a whole lot of breathing room. As soon as the thought left his mind, he chuckled. Breathing room. He didn't need to breathe anymore, did he?

Before he could analyze his thoughts further, he heard a door at his feet open up and a light assaulted him. He felt something move. It wasn't until he was completely bathed in the light, that he realized where he had been. A drawer at the morgue.

Xander looked up at his would-be rescuer. A vampire who looked to be in his mid twenties. He held out his hand and helped Xander to a sitting position and handed him what looked like a bottle of wine. But Xander knew instinctively that it wasn't wine in the bottle. He removed the cap and drank the bottle dry. Once his hunger was sated he looked carefully at the vampire. He was older than Xander, obviously, but not stronger.

Xander could sense that although he was newly risen he had far more power than the one who had brought him his dinner.

"Who are you?" Xander demanded.

Christian smiled slightly. "Christian. Come, the Mistress is waiting."

"I don't have to take orders from you." Xander snapped as he climbed off of the table. "Do I?"

Christian shook his head. "No, sir." He paused.

"So long as we understand each other." Xander slammed the drawer closed and followed the vampire out into the night.




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