Title: And The Sky Was Made Of [Amethyst]
Author: Evie
Email: nerdswereright@yahoo.com
Fandom: Angel
Pairing: Gwen/Dawn
Rating: R
Notes: Written for the Gwen Ficathon, for girlflesh who requested dark Gwen/Dawn using Hole lyrics. Sadly it's not half as dark as I wanted it to be, which is weird because usually I write nothing but darkness, but hopefully it doesn't completely suck.

x.. a walking study in demonology.


She first sees Dawn in a jewelry store in Morocco, trying to shoplift a sapphire necklace under the watchful eye of a shopkeeper the locals call Ricky. She watches for a while with an amused look on her face, until finally she sighs, goes over to the girl, and says quietly, "Here, kid, I'll show you how it's done."

She touches the wall near where she's sure the wiring is, and the lights in the store all go out, as well as the cheap security system. Hearing Ricky swear loudly, she pulls Dawn out of the store, and she walks with her a few blocks until they can't see the store anymore.

Dawn stops her as she turns to leave, and instead of a polite "thanks" or "see you around," she asks, dangling the necklace in front of her, "What the hell are you?"

Gwen turns, then smirks at her. "I'm a freak. What are you?"


x.. sweet cherry make it awful.


Dawn is, Gwen soon discovers, everything and nothing at all.

Her body can't be more than nineteen, but her eyes look much older, as if they've seen everything there is to see, and they're just waiting for their body to catch up and decay.

Dawn giggles at her own jokes - assuming she ever makes any, can't seem to successfully tan and on occasion wears bright purple nail polish with glitter.

Her smile never reaches her eyes, and it makes Gwen more uneasy than if Dawn never smiled at all.


x.. angel dust and my dress just comes undone.


The first time, Dawn is all shyness and nerves. She tries to hide it with a smile, but Gwen can see right through it.

Dawn shivers slightly when Gwen pulls off her shirt, but it's a warm night. She grabs the open bottle of vodka they set on the nightstand, takes a long swig and pulls Gwen back into a long, bruising kiss with the hand not holding the bottle.

Though the kiss is intense, the second they pull away to breathe Dawn bursts into giggles that abruptly stop when Gwen kisses her again.

Her fingers move down to the waistline of Gwen's pants, and the alcohol falls forgotten to the floor.


x.. all the girls here are freezing cold.


There are moments when she touches Dawn, and she's almost sure Dawn's going to fall to pieces right under her fingertips. And Dawn would love every minute of it.

She's still not used to the contact, the closeness, the feel of skin paler than white against her own, writhing under her touch.

Dawn says, "Hurt me," and Gwen does, sending small sparks up Dawn's left arm, where faint scars can be seen. The girl moans under her touch, and a smile shows beneath cherry lipgloss that Gwen makes sure to lick off.

There's no noise when she comes, except for a small gasp that escapes kiss-swollen lips, barely a sound at all.


x.. when the glitter fades in morning.


In the mornings, Dawn is different. Sometimes she'll make Gwen pancakes, but more likely than not there won't be any food in the house, so she'll take Gwen out and skip on the bill. It's become a tradition with them to not pay for whatever they can, and showering each other with affection includes stolen jewelry and the occasional red rose.

Dawn is different in the mornings, in that she is more human, more... normal. She smiles and it looks real, she laughs and there's not a trace of bitterness to it, she kisses Gwen sweetly instead of with the usual angry intensity. When Gwen mentions this, Dawn makes sure to inform her that, incase she forgot, there isn't anything normal about them. "Nothing short of freaks," she grins, drowning her pancakes in syrup.


x.. I can't be near you, the light just radiates.


Syrup and pancakes don't last forever, as Gwen very much thought she knew. A part of her isn't surprised when Dawn seems to be getting sick of her, but the part that controls her emotions just wants to crawl into a corner and cry.

Dawn is angry about every little thing, and she doesn't even have the decency to yell about it. She just glares, a frown on her face, and acts as though Gwen wasn't looking at her with worry and confusion, as though Gwen wasn't asking her what's wrong.

They go to a club one night, the one right down the street from their apartment. They get in free of charge due to the bouncer at the door staring at Gwen's cleavage just a little too long.

Gwen goes to the bar to get drinks - a cherry coke and rum for Dawn and a redcoat for herself - and when she finds Dawn, it takes all her self control not to let the glasses drop from her hands.

There's a girl -- blond, sort of pretty, with a few freckles on her cheeks and a pretty blue dress that probably matches her eyes but they're closed so Gwen's not sure -- and she's got her lips on Dawn. Tongue slowly sliding into Dawn's mouth, and she's just about to move her hand down to Dawn's waist when Gwen slams the drinks on the counter, moves over to them, and pulls the girl off of Dawn.

The girl falls to the floor, and when Gwen looks at her she can easily tell the girl's got more than a little cocaine in her system. Can almost feel it radiating off of her. And her eyes are blue, bright enough to give someone a headache if they looked too close. She just stares at Gwen, not really sure what to do, but Gwen looks away and decides to ignore her.

She turns to Dawn. And Dawn's just got this blank look on her face as she looks uncaringly toward the girl, and back to Gwen. Gwen opens her mouth to ask for some kind of explanation, anything at all, when Dawn simply shrugs, gets up from the bar stool, and says, "I'll see you later." Her expression still doesn't change as she walks out of the club, not even sparing a glance for the girl.

Gwen wants to go after her, really does, but instead she just sighs and sits down at the bar, and takes a long sip of her drink.

The blond girl sways slightly as she stands up, leans against the bar for support. "Look, uh," she starts, a very girlish, small voice that makes Gwen think this girl can't be more than seventeen, "I didn't know she was with you. She just seemed nice, y'know? Different." She looks down a little, sheepish. "And I kinda thought she'd buy me a drink."

Gwen sighs and hands her Dawn's rum and cherry coke with a simple "knock yourself out."

And for a second, she means it, she really wants to just knock that girl out, give her a good concussion - but bar violence is so over done, and it's not like the girl really did anything wrong.

The girl grins shyly, says "Thanks," and then introduces herself as Heather.


x.. crush and crumble under your defenses.


She goes home and Dawn fucks her against the wall in the living room as if nothing happened, and for a while, Gwen forgets anything did.

There's something about Dawn that makes her want to forget everything but Dawn and with those eyes and lips and pale white neck she figures there's nothing else she needs to remember, anyway.

There's a fresh scar on Dawn's arm, but Gwen's afraid to say anything.


x.. and I was never nice and I've gone too far.


When Gwen finally asks for an explanation, Dawn sighs and says, "My sister was here a few days ago."

Dawn doesn't say anything else, as if that's supposed to explain everything.

Gwen presses her for more, and Dawn reluctantly gives in.

"She wanted me to come to Italy with her. Spend some time bonding and doing sister stuff, you know? She worries about me. She thinks that you're out to fucking scam me or something." Dawn rolls her eyes and continues, "I told her that I'm not a kid anymore and that she should mind her own business, and that I wanted to stay here with you." At this Dawn grins a little.

Gwen smiles, but can't help thinking Dawn has one hell of a way of showing she wants to keep someone around.

"And the blond at the bar? What does that have to do with your sister?"

Dawn's smile fades, and she shrugs once again. "She was nice. Asked me if I wanted to do a line with her. One of those rich-bitches with too much money and no real friends. At least she used to be. Anyway, we went into the bathroom, and after a line we both got kind of giggly. The rest is kind of fuzzy. We made out, I was going to buy her a drink, and then you showed up and scared the fuck out of her."

Gwen snorts. "I bought her a few drinks. She's cute when she's hammered."


x.. you're as reckless as the wind.


Gwen says, "I would have, you know."

Dawn raises an eyebrow, and Gwen continues. "Scammed you. A few years ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. You seemed young, naive when I first met you." Gwen smirks. "Then you didn't seem to mind when every few days I'd show up with some cash and say I had a very nice grandmother."

Dawn nods, and keeps her face neutral, but Gwen knows she's hiding a grin. "I figured you'd buy me stuff if I kept quiet. I like sapphires and expensive clothes. And on occasion chocolate sundaes."


x.. finally not drifting out to sea.


There's a tattoo just above Dawn's ankle of a golden lock and key, with bright green outlining.

Gwen traces the tattoo with her thumb, curious, and Dawn simply says, "So I never forget."


x.. I told you from the start, just how this would end.


Late at night, Gwen lays with her head on Dawn's chest, listening to soft thump-thump of her heartbeat. Dawn tells a story about a girl at the very top of a tower ("Built by fucking crazy people," she says), only instead of an evil witch keeping her there, it's a goddess and instead of a handsome prince to save her, it's a beautiful princess.

She says the story would end with something tragic - suicide or the end of the world, maybe literally - but Dawn's not one for endings, because they never really exist.