Title: Better Off Dead
Author: Kylia
Email: kylia_bug@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Nobody belongs to me, unfortunately. They belong to Joss & Mutant Enemy, and some other people I don’t know. The song is by Bad Religion. No infringement is intended.
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: None Really
Category: Willow/Spike - Who else would I write about?
Summary: This is basically a one-part piece reflecting Willows change from a mortal to Vampire.
Distribution: Fire & Ice (http://fireice.koolhost.com). Anyone else, ask, and you shall receive.
Feedback: Yes, please!! I need it to breathe.
Author’s Notes: This takes place, as some point in the future. Willow & Spike have been bonded for some time, when an emergency forced him to turn her, or lose her forever.

I’m sorry about the sun
How could I know
That you would burn
I’m sorry about the moon
How could I know
That you’d disapprove


Willow stood and walked slowly over to the mirror. She looked into, half expecting to see herself, instead, all she saw was the room behind her. The bed, the closet on the opposite side, and the empty walls. She saw everything except for the one thing she wanted to see. Her refection.

It had been weeks since it happened, and still she was surprised when she looked into the mirror and saw nothing. Had been unprepared for her fate. Willow had known that one day she would become this… this creature, but it had been too soon. She had been unprepared for the anger that she would face, unprepared for the feelings. The hunger, the bloodlust. She had been unprepared for the desire. He had told her what would happen, but she had pushed those thoughts back, knowing they had a lifetime before it would become necessary. She had never even considered that her life would demand the death, would demand that she return unto the night. But it had, and there was no going back.


I’m sorry about the world
How could I know
You’d take it so bad


Spike stood in the doorway watching Willow staring into the mirror. He knew that he should have removed it, but she refused. He had known that the transition would be difficult for her. He expected it. If there had been another way, he would have taken it. He had no doubt that one day she would have willingly become his childe, but not like this. But he couldn’t let her die, permanently. That was an impossibility. She had excepted his decision. She wasn’t angry. Just confused. She still had all of the memories of her former self. Of her friends, her family. And yet, she also had the hunger, the bloodlust. The desire to rip that which she loved apart. He knew that if he didn’t take her and leave, there would be no turning back.

He should have listened.


Better off dead
A smile on the lips
And a hole in the head
Better off dead
Yeah better than this
Take it away
‘Cause there’s nothing to miss