Title: Blinded With Science
Author: Jonquil
Email: serpyllum@yahoo.com
Distribution: Just ask.
Rating: R (strong language, violence, sexual references)
Spoilers: Fourth season, post-Oz, pre-Tara
Summary: Willow has re-fanged Spike, and must deal with the consequences. Followed by "In the Company of Wolves".
Feedback: reinforces the desired behavior.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to large corporations, and were created by the brilliant writers for Buffy and Angel.

Chapter 5


What with one thing and another, a week went by. Willow slept in, tracked down that pesky pointer, corresponded with an old math-team buddy, got an A on her paper on "Cooperation between enemies in The Prince", and wore the single ugliest skirt ever seen in Sunnydale.

Spike, meanwhile, smoked, paced, announced repeatedly that he was evil, and scraped off and reapplied the polish on his nails. Five times.

One afternoon, while Spike nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at the crypt's old door. Damned well about time! A soft voice said "Spike? It's me. Are you awake?"

Spike pushed the extremely departed Viola Simmons to one side, climbed out of the sarcophagus, and strolled, to the door, in what he hoped was a casual, uninvolved fashion. "Yes?"

There stood Willow, with a plastic suitcase in one hand and a flashlight in the other. "Leaving town, Red?"

"Not exactly. Can I come in?"

Spike snorted. "Since when do you need to ask? Turning vampire, luv?"

"Being polite is always good." Willow walked in.

"What's the suitcase, witch?"

Willow looked him in the eye. "Well, I was thinking. It's really easy to say you didn't write a letter. I don't even know how many people recognize your handwriting. I've never seen it myself. So I thought we'd use something you couldn't back out of -- a videotape. And, in case you were wondering, this camcorder doesn't use mirrors, so it sees vampires just as clearly as you do."

Spike forced himself to grin. "The thought never crossed my mind." Damn. Blindsided twice in two minutes. Note to self: Never give this girl time to think through a problem.

Willow soldiered on, "So, if you're ready, we can set up the blackmail part of this deal."

"Not so fast, ducks. Before I hand you what remains of my reputation, I'd like some proof that you can deliver on your side of the bargain."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Here we go again. Zero-knowledge proof."

Spike's face went blank. "Zero-what?"

"Zero-knowledge proof. I need to prove to you that I know how to set you free, without giving the information away so you don't need me any more. Let me sit down and think."

"Have a tomb, luv. The occupants won't mind."

Willow perched uneasily on the edge of a vandalized sarcophagus. It still comes down to trust. But if I tell him that, he'll back out. "Okay, how would you break a computer?"

"I find throwing them across the room works a treat."

Why do I think that's experience speaking? "The chip's inside your head, silly."

Spike glared. Willow continued, oblivious.

"I don't think you want me throwing your head across the room. In fact, you don't want me physically touching your head at all."

Spike quirked an eyebrow. "I wouldn't go that far, pet..."

Willow colored to her ears. I want OUT of this conversation now! Try another tack. "If you needed a computer answer, who would you kidnap?"

"I've sworn off kidnapping, pet. Too bloody many heroic rescues. But I take your point. You're the local expert on knobs and lights and stuff."

"Okay. I'm the expert. I have no reason to lie about this, right?"

Spike maintained his neutral expression. "I suppose."

Unconsciously, Willow stood up and assumed her best classroom manner.

"There's something called an EMP that can damage computer chips without touching them. If we expose you to a strong enough EMP, it should destroy the chip without hurting you.

"By the way, knowing what an EMP is won't do you any good. Trust me, you'll need special equipment to do this, and I'm not telling you what that is in advance. I'm not stupid, you know."

Nor she is.

Willow suddenly looked worried. "Unless -- vampires aren't made of silicon inside, are they? You're not some sort of cyborg... because you go dusty when you, um... anyway, I've never had to clean up a vampire corpse, so I'm not sure what's inside a..."

Spike sniffed. "Vampires roamed the Earth long before computers." And with any luck we'll be here long afterward as well.

"Okay. So I'll just set up the lights, and we can make the tape. Be right there." Willow balanced a flashlight on yet another crypt, and began assembling the camcorder. "Okay, Spike, stand against that wall over there."

He struck a menacing pose, and Willow bit the inside of her cheek. "Okay, here we go." She pressed RECORD. "Spike, why are you here?"

Spike dropped the pose and advanced on Willow. "What sort of bloody stupid question is that?"

Willow pressed STOP and sighed. I knew this wouldn't be easy. "Spike, we're making a blackmail tape, right? The vampires who watch this tape need to know what it is. Explain it for them."

Spike snarled, paced back to the wall, and faced the camera. Willow pressed RECORD.

"I'm making this sodding tape because I need sodding help from Little Orphan Annie here --"

Perfect, just what I was hoping for!

"--and she doesn't have the bloody sense to write this on a bloody label."

Willow decided to go for broke. "And what's your opinion of 'N Sync?"

"I'd like to use their throats as cup holders."

Willow gulped, then rewound the tape. "Spike.... try again." She looked into the viewfinder to avoid meeting his eye.

Spike looked murderous. "One day, Red... I love 'N Sync. I have all their albums. And that is the bloody end of this statement."

Willow hit STOP, then let her shoulders collapse. "Good enough. I'll drop this off and get back to you."

Spike stormed up to Willow and grabbed her arms. "WHAT did you just say?" He shook her once hard, then collapsed to the floor with his head in his hands.

Willow backed to the door. "I'm dropping this off with a neutral third party. My parents' lawyer. She thinks I'm afraid of my ex-boyfriend. If I'm still alive in a year, she destroys the tape. If not..."

Spike stalked toward her. "And I should trust you because?"

"Because I'm a good guy. I keep my promises. If I just wanted to humiliate you, I wouldn't need this. And I give you my solemn promise that this is going straight to the lawyer. In one year, if I'm still alive, the lawyer destroys the tape."

Spike nearly smiled.

Willow continued. "Oh, and if Xander, Buffy, Giles, Tara, or even Anya dies in that year and I think you were involved, I tell the lawyer to mail the tape to Willy for distribution. Got it?"

Not bad, witch. "Got it. A trifle open-ended, but..."

"I'll be back tomorrow evening and tell you what we do next."




Next Chapter