Title: Can I Have A Minute?
Author: AllytheVamp
Email: Marie_214@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Joss Owns these characters!! Not Me!!
Author's Note: This is a story about a tragedy. This is sad and hard but it has some Willow/Oz bonding. They search for the answers they need.

Part Two


I remember Oz and I were walking slowly along the sidewalk when it started. It was sunny and warm as usual, but it seemed to be trying harder just for me. Oz was thoughtful and silent as he limply held my hand. My heart swelled with love for him cause he put up with me. There were so many things I had dumped on him. After Cordy's funeral I was constantly sobbing and yelling and being sad when he was trying desperately to make me feel better. We kept having little fights. He was exasperated with me. I didn't blame him one bit. Then he had apologized and I had cried some more. I felt like I was using him even though I knew I wasn't. I just couldn't shake the fear that one day they were going to figure out what I had done.

I know that the vamp biting her wasn't my fault. She had been fighting to get towards me to get a weapon. I saw her blindly. I was so afraid. I tossed her a stake or a bar of wood I had somehow broken off a chair, and it hit her in the face. She had fallen back wards and I had yelled how sorry I was. I tried to protect her while she reeled. I was grabbed by one of the vamps and cried something incoherently to Oz. Thats when it bit her. It was the most horrible moment of my life, knowing that she was dead because of what I had done. I couldn't even throw her a damn stake!

So for the last few months I'd been blaming myself and wallowing in the shame and guilt that was so strong I could barely stand to lift my head. Oz had been there every step of the way. Sometimes I would get scared that he was going to one day get so sick of my sadness and scream "CAN'T YOU JUST STOP BEING A BABY AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE?!". But he never showed anything but understanding. I love Oz so much. His love proved to be unconditional.

When I first saw Xander after a week, I knew I could never see him again without being constantly reminded of what I had done. He was a wreck. He wasn't the Xander I had known and loved. He hadn't shaved in weeks, his hair was all messed up and he was constantly drunk or in deep depression. At this time he was in thereapy, at Buffy's urging and Cordelia's parents financing. It was helping alot but he had lost his craziness and changed. He was now the way Oz had been in high school, calm and quiet and saying witty things just at the right moment to make them work. He was still Xander, but more serious. He told me a few weeks after that he wasn't sure he could go on. Then I saw him crying again. I hate it when Xander cries. He rarely does but he had been doing it alot and whenever he did I couldn't handle it. It's the most terrifying thing when you see someone you love who is usually so strong and brave [well Xander wasn't the bravest guy on Earth but he was always ready to stand up for me or anyone else he cared about] break down and show that kind of emotion.

And Oz...I felt as if I was using up all his energy. I was constantly depressed and he just spent himself trying to make me smile. Once I overheard him and Buffy talking about me. My heart broke when I heard what he said:

"It's killing me to see her like this. I can't stand that she is hurting and I feel like my being there is making it worse." He had said his head lowered.

Buffy put a hand on his shoulder. "I know it's making a difference Oz. You don't give up on her. It would only make things worse if you did." Then she too lowered her head and I saw her shake a little. "She never seems to want to spend time with me anymore. Maybe she'll listen to you."

Oz set his jaw and looked up at Buffy. "I'll never give up on her." he said flatly. "The day I give up on her is the day the Hellmouth becomes the center of all goodness, and we all that's never going to happen." They shared a smile. I ran away as I heard him coming. I had a long talk with Buffy that night and told her I did need her and I just wanted sometime to deal. She understood cause shes wonderful and that led to this nice day where Oz decided to take me for a walk.

He glanced at me his brown eyes reflecting something I couldn't undertstand. I think it was endearment. "I love you." I said quietly. The words had burst out of me and I felt right about saying them. He stopped a moment and then turned and kissed me tenderly. Then he held me in his arms and rocked me gently. "You know I love you too right?" he choked out softley kissing my forehead. I nodded tears in my eyes.

Then Cordelia's mom walked up to us holding a piece of paper in her hands. That started what was going to make my life so much better...




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