Title: Chasing Aeryn
Author: Paradox761
Email: Paradox761@mail.com
Website: members.tripod.com/~Paradox761
Disclaimer: Joss and co. own all things Buffy, and SFC (in their infinite stupidity) own Farscape. No copyright infringement is intended, so please don’t sue. I don’t have any money anyway. Some elements of this story and some dialogue have been taken from the Farscape episode “Promises”, no plagiarism is intended.
Summary: Following another lead on Aeryn's location, the crew of Moya discovers her Prowler adrift. But when they bring it aboard, they find someone unconscious inside. Someone who is not Aeryn, but who may be able to lead them to her. Will they find Aeryn? And will Xander be able to control the beast that he has discovered still lurks within him?
Author’s note: This story is the fourth in the ‘Sympathetic Ear’ series, following A Sympathetic Ear, Back to the Uncharted Territories, and Enter the Cleavage. Special thanks to A. Grandt, Rob Clark, MagnusXXN, Forgotten Code, dragon_hulk, C. J. Whittaker, Greywizard, Hatten, Calen, Saffi, Woodlandchild, and Paradigm Shifter for the feedback. It’s much appreciated.
Dedication: To Jordan and Jessica, my angels. May they rest in peace.
(BtVS/Farscape, Xander/Chiana, John/Aeryn)

(1/6)

Xander was alone in the gymnasium, going through his morning katas. He stood in the center of the room holding his sword, shirtless and barefoot, wearing only a pair of warm-up pants and a blindfold. He went through the motions slowly, tracking the sword’s movement in his mind’s eye. He was trying to keep his mind clear and his thoughts focused, but he was finding that exceedingly difficult lately. It had been a little over a week since he and Chiana had escaped from Grayza’s command carrier, since he discovered the truth about the amulet that he wore.

He hadn’t told any of the others about it yet. He had already given them so much to try to get used to. On top of everything else, telling them that he had a piece of the life force of his four dead friends swimming around in his brain, it just wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have yet. On the upside, it meant that he wasn’t going crazy. Ironically, the very things he thought were hallucinations were what saved him from going insane, when the Aurora chair turned his brain into rice pudding. Not to mention helping his body purge Grayza’s pheromones, and giving him a chance to escape. They saved his life, and the lives of everyone else in the universe for that matter.

But still, he was unsure how to feel about them. They were his friends, and yet they weren’t. His friends were dead, gone. These things in his head were just pieces of them, and yet at the same time, pieces of himself. Willow, the Willow in his head, had been insistent that their being there didn’t change who he was. They didn’t control him, or even influence him very strongly. If they could, she pointed out, they never would have let him spend those first few months after their deaths wallowing in misery. They never would have let him ruin his relationship with Dawn. Xander was still responsible for those things. They were just there, to make sure that he was never alone, to make certain that he always remembered that his friends loved him, and to help out however they could. But he was still torn. What right did he have to indulge in some fantasy of his friends, when they were dead and gone? It felt…disrespectful somehow. But it was Willow’s final gift to him, and rejecting it seemed equally disrespectful.

Xander increased the speed of his motions, concentrating on all of his others senses with his sight blocked. The weight and feel of the weapon in his hand, the sounds of his feet on the mat and the sword cutting through the air. He could feel the essence of Buffy inside of him, encouraging him to push his body further.

He had yet another problem to deal with now, thanks to Grayza. Just beneath the surface, a beast lurked within him. Her pheromones had awakened it from its prison, deep in Xander’s psyche. Willow explained it to him, she told him that the hyena possession was very different from the soldier possession. Xander knew that much himself, he had experienced both after all. The soldier was another person, with his own set of memories and instincts, commandeering his body. He had just been along for the ride, watching through his eyes. But there was none of that duality when it came to the hyena, it was all about instinct. He was still Xander, only he was more. He had urges, and instincts that he simply couldn’t suppress. Urges to hunt, to kill, to take a mate, to protect his pack. He could no more resist those urges than he could resist the urge to breathe, or blink his eyes. He was an animal, in every way that mattered. And that’s what scared him the most. The fact that he was in control, and yet not in control. He wasn’t just watching, he was feeling.

The spell that excised the hyena spirit may have ended the possession, but much like the soldier memories, there were still remnants of it. Not memories, but instincts. Deep within the psyche of every man lie the animalistic urges and instincts of his ancestors. The very traits that allowed the species to survive. Evolution may suppress them, but they never completely go away. That’s where the hyena hid, attaching itself to those instincts, the same way the essences of his friends attached themselves to other aspects of his mind. Giles, his intellect, Tara, his emotions, Buffy, his body, and Willow, his soul. Grayza awakened those instincts, and the hyena along with them. It had grown powerful over the years, feeding off of Xander’s own repressed caveman impulses. And now that it had been released from it’s prison, it wasn’t going back. Willow and the others managed to cage it, but it could take years to build up the mental blocks that it would take to fully contain it again. And until then, escaping was a very real possibility.

He could feel it inside of him, fighting to get out. Lust may have awakened it, but anger and violence fed it. Which ruled out the two of Xander’s favorite ways to solve a problem. Even now, as Xander pushed himself harder through his morning routine, he could feel it, urging him to let out a primal scream. Xander was moving faster now, his sword slicing through the air at deadly speeds. His teeth were clenched, his hair matted to his head with sweat, some of which was dripping under the blindfold. But he didn’t care, he pushed himself even harder. The more the hyena prodded him, the angrier he got, and the angrier he got, the more power he gave it. Until finally, Xander couldn’t take it anymore.

He let loose with a feral roar, and flung his sword away with all of his strength. Then he collapsed onto the mat, his lungs burning as they struggled to pull in more oxygen. He refused to be baited by the beast. He would sooner die than unleash that animal again. The first time, he nearly killed Willow, not to mention what he had almost done to Buffy. He would not let that happen again. He pulled the blindfold from his face and looked up. In front of him was the practice dummy that he often used, with his sword sticking out of its chest. Sand was pouring from the hole onto the floor.

“Geez, what did that dummy ever do to you?”

Xander looked over at the door and saw Chiana standing there, leaning against the wall. She was smiling at him, so he guessed that she hadn’t seen him losing control. “Hey,” he said, still catching his breath. “Ah, I guess I…ah, just got carried away. I’ll fix it later. What’s up?”

If Chiana suspected that anything was wrong, she didn’t say anything. “John thinks he’s got another lead on Aeryn. He wants us in Command.”

“Okay, just let me clean up and I’ll be right there.”

*

Xander was pulling on his tee shirt as he walked into Command. Everyone else was already there, looking at the view screen. There was a man on the screen, of a species that Xander didn’t recognize. He had a V-shaped pattern of scales on his forehead, and two tiny additional nostrils on the bridge of his nose between his eyes. An angry red scar ran down the left side of his face. John was standing closest to the screen, D’Argo slightly behind him, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

“So let me get this straight,” John said. “You just happen to be in the neighborhood, and you just happen to know who we are. Yet, you’re not interested in trying to collect the bounty on our heads. You also to just happen to know that we’re looking for a group of ex-Peace Keeper mercenaries, and you happen to know where we might be able to find them. That’s an awful lot of happens.”

“It’s the truth,” the man said, his voice gruff. “I’m a simple freighter captain, I have no means by which to capture you. Scan my ship if you don’t believe me. As for knowing what, or more preciously who you are looking for, information travels fast in the black. Especially information about you and your cohorts Mr. Crichton. A group of prisoners, able to evade the Peace Keepers for so long. You’re a bit of a legend you know.”

“Yeah, I’m a regular Johnny Appleseed. You still haven’t answered my question.”

“A group traveling in a Leviathan, looking for a female ex-Peace Keeper. It isn’t exactly hard to put the pieces together.”

“So what exactly do you want?” D’Argo asked.

“Only to help.”

“For a price of course,” D’Argo added.

“Of course. I’m a businessman after all, and information is a much easier cargo to haul than used ship parts.”

“How much?” John asked.

“One thousand retri,” the freighter captain answered.

John nodded thoughtfully. “Allow me a moment to confer with my…cohorts.”

“Of course.”

John turned around and lowered his voice as the others moved in closer. “Sparky, how much do we have left in the bank?”

“Six hundred retri,” Rygel answered.

“You think you can low-ball this guy?”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” Xander interrupted. “You do know that this is a trap right?”

“I concur,” D’Argo said. “We have no reason to believe that this person is telling the truth.”

“And what if he is?” John argued. “I think it’s a chance we have to take.”

“Not if it means getting caught and turned over to the Peace-Keepers,” Jool said.

“Look at this guy, will you!” John exclaimed, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at the view screen. “He couldn’t catch crabs from a ten dollar hooker. What’s the harm in checking out what he has to say?”

“The harm is that we could be flying into an ambush!” Xander insisted.

“John, I want to find Aeryn as much as you do,” D’Argo said. “But this isn’t the way.”

John looked frustrated. “What if we use Lo’La to scout ahead, before Moya even comes near the place? And if there’s even a hint of trouble, we cloak and get the hell out of there.”

Xander and D’Argo shared a look. “It could work,” Xander said after a moment. “Your ship certainly has enough fire power to handle itself in a fight if it comes down to it.”

“Not against a Command Carrier it doesn’t,” D’Argo said.

“Moya can spot a ship that size within plenty of time for us to starburst,” John pointed out. D’Argo nodded, considering the plan.

“I say we do it,” Chiana said. “We don’t know what kind of trouble Aeryn could be in.” She looked over to Jool and Noranti.

“I agree,” Noranti said.

Jool stayed quiet until Chiana jabbed her with her elbow. “What do you say, Princess?”

“Ow! Fine, I guess I’m in too.”

“What about you, Sparky?” John asked.

“I want no part in this fool’s errand,” the Hynerian replied.

“If it does turn out to be a trap, after we whip their asses I’ll let you loot any ships we find.”

“On the other hand, Aeryn is a valued friend,” Rygel said. “And we should do whatever we can to find her. I’m in.”

“Pilot,” Xander said. “What do you and Moya think?”

“The risk seems minimal,” Pilot said over the comms. “Moya and I are more than willing to help.”

“What do you say, D?” John asked his Luxan friend.

D’Argo didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded. “Very well,” he said. “Assuming that Rygel can talk him down.”

Rygel smiled. “Watch and learn, Luxan,” he said, turning his throne sled around and moving toward the viewer. “We’ll give you three hundred retri,” he offered the freighter captain, opening the negotiations.

“Done,” the man answered.

Rygel was taken aback, he didn’t expect the man to take his first offer, and so quickly. He turned to the others with a worried expression.

Xander leaned in and whispered to John. “That was way too easy.”

John ignored him and stepped forward. “Where is she?”

“My currency first,” the man answered. “I’ll come aboard and…”

“No,” John interrupted him. “We’ll put your money in a cargo container and eject it into space. You can pick it up, after you tell us where.”

The freighter captain looked reluctant, but he nodded. “Very well. The name of the planet is L’lidor. It’s a commerce planet, a few sectors from here.”

“Pilot, do you have this planet on your star charts?”

“Affirmative, Commander. It’s several days travel from our current location.”

“My currency, Mr. Crichton?” the freighter captain asked.

“Rygel, Chiana, load the money into a cargo container and eject it into space. Pilot, once the container is away, set a course for L’lidor. We’ll stop on the outskirts of the system, and D’Argo and I will take Lo’La in closer to take a look around.”

“A pleasure doing business with you Mr. Crichton,” the freighter captain said before his image disappeared from the screen.

Chiana and Rygel headed out of Command, Xander close behind them. “Where are you going?” John asked him.

“I’m going to help Chiana and Rygel, and then I’m going to the galley for some breakfast. Relax John, we’ve got a few days before we get to L’lidor. That’s plenty of time to prepare.” He turned back and left with Chiana and Rygel before John could respond. Something was wrong, John thought. Xander seemed frustrated, worried, maybe even a little agitated. And John didn’t know why.

*

Xander, Chiana, and Rygel were sitting together in the galley, eating. After they loaded up their payment for the information they were given and ejected it into space, Chiana decided to join Xander for breakfast. And Rygel, not being one to ever turn down food, decided to join them as well. Xander was currently telling Rygel about their escape from Grayza’s command carrier. He knew the reverence that the Dominar and his people had for the Oracle, and he couldn’t help but feel responsible for what had happened to him.

"So, after we escaped into thin air, and they couldn't pick us up anywhere on their sensors, Grayza probably assumed that we were on the only planet close by," Xander explained.

"Meloni," Rygel said. "But why did Grayza stay in orbit once she had captured you?"

"Maybe on the off chance that it was the rendezvous point with Moya, or maybe they just wanted to know why we were there," Xander said. "They probably searched the planet, and when they didn't find us..."

"They destroyed the temple," Rygel finished solemnly. "Out of spite."

"I'm sorry, Rygel," Xander said. "If it's any consolation, I offered the Oracle a chance to come with us. He said that he knew what was going to happen, but that his place was there. He wasn't afraid."

Rygel actually smiled. "No, he wouldn't be."

"Have you met him before?" Chiana asked.

"Several times. During my reign as Dominar I made quite a few trips to Meloni to seek his counsel. I even offered to let him come back to Hyneria, but he refused. He said...that his place was there. That he had no interest in letting the old ways become complicated with the politics of the empire. I understood, but still...I wish I would have pushed harder now."

"And if he did come back to Hyneria, what would your cousin have done once you were deposed?" Chiana asked.

Rygel nodded, conceding Chiana's point. "He would have had him killed," he answered. "Perhaps the Oracle knew that all along."

"No doubt," Xander agreed. He leaned back in his chair and popped another food cube in his mouth. He looked tense for a moment, staring off into space.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Chiana asked him suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, you’ve had…oh, what’s that human expression? You’ve had an insect in your rectum ever since we left Command.”

Xander couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve had a bug up my ass,” he corrected.

“Right, that’s what I said.”

“I’m just worried I guess, about John.”

“What, about this plan? I thought you said that you thought it would work.”

“I did, and I do. What worries me isn’t the plan, it’s that John was willing to go forward without one. That he was so gung ho about rushing in with no idea as to what we’re walking into. He’s letting his emotions cloud his judgment.”

Rygel snorted. “That seems to be a common human trait from what I’ve observed,” he said, leveling a gaze at Xander.

“There’s a difference,” Xander said. “I may be reckless with my own life on occasion, but never with other people’s. Don’t get me wrong, I understand where he’s coming from. And I don’t mean to badmouth him, I’d trust him to watch my back any day of the week. He was the one who came up with the idea to use Lo’La to scout ahead, and he has a willingness to see his own flaws and defer to the judgment of others come crunch time, but he’s not a leader.”

“And you are I suppose?” Rygel asked.

“Hell no,” Xander said. “I don’t have the knowledge or the experience to be in command, and I’m not suggesting it either. I’m just saying that we need a captain. We can’t keep making decisions by committee. Somebody has to have the final say.”

“I’ve been saying that for cycles,” a gruff voice from behind Xander spoke. Xander turned to see D’Argo walking into the room. “But no one ever listens to me.”

“That’s because you’ve never said it without having yourself in mind for the job,” Rygel said.

D’Argo just shot him a look before turning back to Xander. “You see the problem? There’s no one aboard that everyone feels comfortable with as Captain.”

“Maybe this is a case where the majority should rule,” Xander said.

“What do you mean?” Chiana asked.

“We take a vote. As long as everyone agrees to abide by the result of the vote, no matter what it is, whoever gets the majority vote becomes captain.”

“Seems fair,” Chiana said.

Rygel just grumbled to himself while he ate. He knew that he would not be happy with anyone beside himself as Captain, and since that wasn’t very likely to happen, there was very little he could do.

D’Argo nodded. “Yes,” he agreed. “Perhaps after we return from L’lidor. If all goes well, Aeryn will be back aboard and we can have a proper vote.”

*

It took Moya a little over three solar days to make the journey to L’lidor’s star system. As planned, the Leviathan held her position on the outskirts of the system. They scanned ahead as far as they could, and had picked up nothing but short-range transports and freighters. Nothing that looked Peace-Keeper. Of course, they would have to get closer to pick up anything as small as a Prowler, but that was a job for Lo’La.

D’Argo and John had set out in the Luxan vessel, leaving Moya a safe distance behind and Xander in Command, keeping a close eye on the sensor readouts. A little over two arns later, he was still there, focused so much on the screen in front of him that he didn’t hear Chiana coming up behind him.

“Hey,” she said.

Xander whirled around, instinctively falling into a battle stance. Once he saw that it was Chiana, his posture relaxed. “Sorry,” he said. “You startled me.”

“A little jumpy, aren’t you?”

“I guess,” Xander said, turning back to the sensor readouts. “I just have reservations about walking into such an obvious trap, no matter how cautious we’re being.”

“That’s understandable,” Chiana said. “But I think it’s more than that. And it’s more than just you worrying about John’s attitude. You’ve been on edge practically since we escaped from Grayza’s ship.”

Xander looked away. How could he tell her that Grayza had awakened an animal within him? And that at times his control over it seemed to be faltering? Didn’t she have enough to worry about? Hadn’t he brought her enough trouble? But more than any of that, he was afraid to see that look in her eye. That look of fear. The look that Willow had when he nearly killed her while possessed with the hyena the first time. That image was burned into his memory, and it hurt more than anything to know that he had caused it. He made his Willow afraid of him. He just couldn’t bear to see that look in Chiana’s eyes.

Chiana saw his hesitation. She put her hand on his arm and moved to face him again. “Xander, it’s okay, you can tell me. I can only imagine, the things she did to you, what you went through. But I’m here, if you want to talk about it.”

Xander reached out and pulled her into a hug. He just had an urge to hold her, he felt like he drew strength just from touching her sometimes. “Thank you,” he said. “I just might take you up on that…someday.”

Chiana pulled away a little and looked at him. “I worry about you. You keep so much bottled up, it’s not healthy.”

Xander nodded. He had been alone for a long time, afraid of his own emotions. So he closed himself off from them. It wasn’t an easy thing to turn back from, but he was trying. He reached up and cupped her face, giving her a smile. “I’ll be fine Chi, I promise.”

Chiana nodded. It was enough…for now. Xander leaned down slowly and their lips met softly. Chiana’s hands wound around Xander’s neck, while his fell to her waist. The kiss was interrupted as Pilot’s image appeared on the clamshell display.

“Xander, we’re receiving a message from Lo’La,” Pilot said.

The kiss broke and Chiana smirked. “They always interrupt just when it’s getting good, I hope this doesn’t become a trend.”

Xander just smiled as he turned back to front viewer. “Pipe it through, Pilot.”

“Moya, do you read?” John’s voice came through the comms.

“We’re here John,” Xander answered. “What’s the what?”

“We found Aeryn’s Prowler in a decaying orbit around L’lidor,” John said with urgency in his voice. “We’re reading a faint lifesign inside, but we can’t raise anybody on the comms. We need Moya here now!”

“We’re on our way,” Xander said, already moving out of Command with Chiana close behind. “Pilot, lay in a course, best speed. And prepare the docking web.”

*

Xander and the others waited outside of the Hangar bay while Lo’La and Aeryn’s Prowler were brought in. Once the bay was pressurized again, the doors opened and they rushed inside. John was already out of the Luxan ship and running toward the Prowler when they got there. D’Argo stood behind him as he jumped up on one side of the Prowler. Xander jumped up on the other side.

“There’s a manual release for the canopy around here somewhere,” John said, scanning the top of the Prowler. “There, that lever by you Xander, pull it.”

Xander pulled the lever and the canopy opened with a hiss. John pulled it up and Xander looked into the Prowler, down at the unconscious form of someone who was definitely not Aeryn Sun.

He saw John tense and draw his pulse pistol, pointing it at the figure in the Prowler. Xander looked to John for an explanation, and got only one word in response. One word that answered all of Xander’s unasked questions, spoken with such hatred that he practically spat it.

“Scorpius.”




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