Title: Everlasting Moon
Author: JR
Email: JRR42@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: Drama
Summary: Six years after graduation, two old friends run into each other.
Distribution: No, not at this time. Will eventually be available at: www.angelfire.com/de/theparlor/buffy.html
Feedback: Hell, yes!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Mutant Enemy/Joss/WB and are used without permission. This story is not intended to infringe upon any copyrights, nor is any profit being made from it.
Thanks: To Carrie and Marius for their beta efforts. This is a beta copy of the story -- not the fully edited zine version. So any typos are mea culpa.
Dedicated to Marius for our 2am beach conversations on the meaning of life. See you at the Hawiian. I love you.
This one came from a comment DB made when asked to reveal a ‘weird quirk’ about himself. He answered that he ‘liked to dig his butt into the sand at the beach.’ Some of you list 'old timers' might remember the quote in question ;-)
This story originally appeared in the fanzine 'Angel's Heart' published by VisionQuest Press. For anyone interested, VisionQuest is set to publish 'Angel's Heart 2'. If you're interested in ordering or just more information, please email: vqpress@zeelandnet.nl

“Willow!” Angel admonished, recalling exactly what she had said moments earlier. The vampire’s shock came not from the harmless personal question but rather the person whom had voiced said question. He was having a difficult time reconciling the sweet, naive girl -- who blushed at the mere mention of kissing -- with the...woman who was currently sitting next to him, quizzing him on his sex life.

“I said I was sorry!” Willow said meekly, refusing to meet her friend’s gaze..

‘Ah, *there* she is,’ Angel smiled. ‘*There’s* the cute little girl I remember.’

A rush of nausea overwhelmed the vampire the moment he realized that his inner-demon was getting a thrill out of watching Willow squirm. Just the thought of the demon reacting in *any* way at all to the young witch was totally abhorrent to the part of Angel that was ensouled.

It was hardly surprising, though. Willow’s innocent nature attracted the evil that resided in him. Like all demons, his wanted nothing more than to either corrupt or destroy everything it came across that was pure. That, more than anything else, was the reason that he had chosen Willow to be his first victim when he reverted back into Angelus eight years ago.

A wave of guilt overwhelmed the vampire as that particular memory surfaced in his mind. Perhaps that was what caused him to speak his next, totally unplanned, words.

“It worked,” he blurted.

“Huh?” Willow looked at him with a totally clueless expression on her face. “What worked?”

“The...uh...spell,” Angel muttered, unable to look her in the eye as he made his confession.

“Of course it worked,” she exclaimed, as if she were stating the obvious. “The orb lit up just like it was suppos...oh. Oh! You mean *worked* as in *that* kind of worked. Well, that’s...good, I mean great!” Although the redhead attempted to interject enthusiasm into her voice on the last part, Angel could hear the hollowness in it. Willow, however, kept right on speaking. “I...I didn’t know that you’d seen Buffy after we...uh... did the spell.”

“I...,” Angel paused, suddenly finding the sand under his feet very fascinating. “...uh...haven’t...seen her.…”

“Oh,” Willow replied absentmindedly. The thought of her best friend keeping such a momentous secret from her bothered Willow, and for that reason, she was only half-listening to what the vampire said. Perhaps that was why her mouth gaped as the meaning of Angel’s admission penetrated her conscious mind. It did, however, leave her uncertain as to how she should reply. “Wow, that’s...great. It is great, isn’t it?”

“Not really,” the vampire shrugged, recalling how he allowed a beautiful client to seduce him. It was a typical one night stand -- the frightened girl, the demonic assassins chasing her, allowing her to stay at his apartment for her own safety, the empty, mindless oblivion of meaningless sex that followed. Then, as soon as the case was over, she paid her bill and walked away, without so much as a backwards glance. Any way that Angel looked at it, it was far from his finest hour.

“Oh.” For some reason, Willow was unable to look Angel in the eye. “I’m sorry...I guess.”

“Why are you sorry?” Angel asked, honestly puzzled by her words.

“I...I’m...not really sure,” she admitted. “I guess I’m sorry because your...you still...didn’t...find...”

“Don’t.” The raw pain in Angel’s voice startled the witch, and her eyes finally shot up to meet his.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t you ever be sorry for me, Willow,” Angel clarified with such zeal that his friend unconsciously leaned away from him. Realizing that his gruffness was frightening her, the vampire was overwhelmed by a wave of guilt. Trying to defuse some the tension created by his outburst, Angel decided to try some self-depreciation. “You don’t need to feel sorry for me because I think I do that often enough for everyone.”

Judging by the uncertainty he saw on Willow’s face, Angel guessed that the redhead was not quite sure how to interpret his last comment. Just when he was about to apologize, Willow finally got the joke. Her carefree, melodical giggles were music to the vampire’s ears, enchanting him with her unabashed amusement.

The echoes of their laughter were swallowed by the gentle sounds of the waves breaking on the shore. Neither of them spoke again for a while, both just enjoying both the night and the company. After a short time, Willow began to absently dig a deep trench in the sand with the heel of her right foot.

“Trying to get to China or are you just hoping the ground will swallow you whole?” Angel chuckled aloud. He was happy when Willow gave him a cautious grin a moment later.

“You know,” she smiled, “that’s actually kind of funny now that the Hellmouth is closed.”

“I take it that Giles and Buffy haven’t had any luck in finding the actual sight of the Atlanta Hellmouth, yet?” Angel inquired.

“No,” Willow confirmed. “But they’re still looking.”

“I heard from Cordelia that Atlanta is overrun with vampires lately,” he asked in a concerned tone.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But you know how it is. Evil flocks to active Hellmouths like flies to honey.”

“Is Buffy managing okay?”

“Oh, sure,” Willow replied with confidence. “When it comes down to it, Atlanta is no worse than Sunnydale was. Plus Buffy still has Giles and the other new Slayer.”

“Marti, right?” Angel asked, trying to recall the sixteen year-old’s name. Marti was called after Faith, who never awoke from her five-year coma, finally passed away.

“Yup. She’s really sweet, once you get past all the facial jewelry,” Willow chuckled. Angel joined in, having heard from a revolted Cordelia about the dozen or so piercings that littered the new Slayer’s eyebrows, nose, tongue, lip, and cheek.

Despite her update on Buffy’s life, Angel knew that there was an additional person in his ex-girlfriend’s support circle that Willow had yet to mention. Unsure whether the omission was based in uncertainty to his response or just simply to spare his feelings, the vampire decided to bite the proverbial bullet and ask outright.

“Is Buffy still...with that guy?” Angel questioned, absently running his fingers through the sand as he spoke.

“Brian?” Willow supplied the name of the Slayer’s boyfriend of two years. Despite the nonchalant tone Angel had spoken with, the witch easily saw the vampire’s unease over this particular subject. While it was not the tortured expression Angel used to get at any mention of his ex, it was apparent that he still cared about Buffy’s welfare. “Brian still helps her out with the Slaying stuff. Plus, Buffy is still working at his gym as a day job.”

What Willow neglected to mention was that Buffy had recently moved into Brian’s apartment as well. In her estimation, if Angel had not already received that information from Cordelia, then he really did not need to know. There was, she figured, little to be gained by pouring salt into old wounds. Willow was wondering if she should say anything further on the topic when Angel saved her the trouble by changing the subject.

“So how’s Xander doing?” the vampire inquired.

“Oh, he and MaryAnn are just great,” Willow smiled.

In one of those weird, ironic twists that Fate took such pleasure in doling out, Xander Harris was the first of the Slayerettes to go into semi-retirement from battling evil. If the Slayerettes were surprised when Xander announced that he actually had a relationship that he had successfully hidden from them, they were absolutely stunned when they met the woman in question.

Whomever they might have envisioned Xander falling in love with, it certainly was not MaryAnn Bradley. Although fairly attractive, she was much more plain than the usual type of women Xander seemed to prefer. Five years his senior, MaryAnn came from a well-off family that owned a chain of restaurants. In fact, that was how the pair first met one another -- back then she managed the Sunnydale restaurant that Xander was working in as a waiter.

“And Cassidy?” Angel asked with a proud expression on his face.

“Oh, you should just see her, Angel,” Willow gushed about her four-year old goddaughter. “I have some pictures from my trip out there last month in my...damn, I left my purse in the car. But she’s *huge* now.”

“They’re supposed to come up and visit next month,” Angel revealed with a gleam in his eyes. “I’m sure Xander’s looking forward to it with his usual enthusiasm.”

“You’re terrible. You know that, right?” Willow shook her head as she saw the evil smirk on the vampire’s face.

“I know,” he replied unabashedly. “But is it really my fault?”

The vampire was referring to yet another one of life’s ironies. Back when Cassidy was born, Angel had no real intentions of going to Sunnydale to see the baby. It was not because of the past tension between himself and Xander -- the two had long since reached a comfortable truce. In fact, MaryAnn genuinely liked Angel, once she got used to the fact that he was a vampire. Put simply, Angel had not wanted to visit because he knew it would be a painful reminder of all the things he could not have for himself. But Cordy persisted, and after a day of pleading, whining, cajoling, and finally, threatening; the former May Queen got what she wanted.

Visiting hours were long since over by the time the pair crept into the maternity ward at Sunnydale Hospital. Once inside, they found MaryAnn cradling her newborn daughter. After a few minutes of standing in the back of the room while Cordelia ‘ahhed’ and ‘cooed’, the new mother asked Angel if he wanted to hold Cassidy for a while. The vampire’s shocked eyes flew from MaryAnn to Xander, who simply shrugged his assent after a moment of deliberation. After showing Angel how to properly support the baby’s head and neck, for the first time in over two centuries, the vampire cradled an infant in his arms.

They never could figure out what it was, but something odd happened in that room that night. Angel was gently rocking the sleeping baby when she suddenly awakened. Like all newborns, Cassidy lacked the muscle control to focus her eyes upon anything -- at least up until that point. It only happened for a second, but for just a moment, the tiny blue eyes looked straight into the rich, chocolate brown of Angel’s before gently drifting back into a peaceful slumber. It was over in a heartbeat, but for the vampire, a deep connection had just been made.

Having witnessed the unheard of event, all of the adults in the room looked at each other in shock. Nobody could explain what had just happened, but there was no doubt in any of their mind’s that something special had just taken place.

The bond that began that night in the hospital only continued to grow. From that point on, Angel began doting on Cassidy. Much to Xander’s chagrin, in the months -- and years -- that followed, the vampire took advantage of every opportunity he received to see the little girl. Angel was forever bringing or mailing her presents. He knew he was parenting vicariously through Cassidy, but no one -- not even Xander -- ever dared to mention it aloud.

The bond between the vampire and child persevered, even when the Harris family moved to Phoenix. Much to Angel’s regret, MaryAnn and Xander were chosen to open and manage the newest addition to the family restaurant chain. Then disaster happened. Just last year, Xander and MaryAnn had been hospitalized following a rather nasty car accident. Angel had been the one to drop everything, to fly down to Arizona in order to comfort and look after Cassidy until her parents fully recovered two months later.

“Cordelia told me that Xander actually shook your hand and said ‘thank you’ when he got home after the accident,” Willow commented out of nowhere.

“Are you reading my mind?” Angel chuckled, both shocked and amused to discover that Willow had known exactly what he had been thinking.

“C’mon, Angel,” the redhead protested. “You gotta know we’re all immune to that ‘cryptic guy’ act of yours by now.”

“No, you’re not,” he retorted. “I’ve just lulled you all into a false sense of security.”

Together they laughed over Angel’s useless proclamation. By the time their smiles finally faded into memory-induced grins, both the witch and the vampire found themselves staring at the bright light of the low-hanging moon. Seeing its fullness filling the night sky brought back other memories for the vampire. Judging by her next words, he was not alone in his thoughts.

“It’s funny, but after all this time, I still think of Oz whenever I see a full moon,” Willow admitted.

“Okay, that does it,” Angel growled playfully. “Once and for all -- *get out of my head*!” Despite his posturing, the vampire was secretly pleased to learn that their thoughts were so in synch. “Have you heard from him lately?”

“Oz? I guess it’s been about a month since the last time we talked,” she informed the vampire. “You’ve probably spoken to him more recently than I have.”

“Probably,” Angel confirmed. Surprisingly enough, when it came to the people he regularly kept in touch with from Sunnydale, Oz was the next person on the list after Cordelia.

In the first year after graduating high school, Oz’s band, Dingoes Ate My Baby, played a number of club dates in Los Angeles. Since the group was only modestly successfully in financial terms, Angel took to inviting Oz to crash at his apartment whenever the werewolf was in town.

It might have seemed like an odd combination to some, but in all actually, the vampire and the werewolf got along splendidly. In spite -- or perhaps because -- of their supernatural status, Oz and Angel were comfortable as temporary roommates. They both were a great deal alike in personality -- quiet and intelligent. In addition, they both also knew firsthand what it was like to struggle against their respective evil natures.

“Is he doing any better?” Willow inquired, never taking her eyes off the moon overhead.

“From what he’s told me, I think he’s back to his old self again,” Angel informed his companion.

“I hope so,” the redhead sighed wistfully. “He deserves it after everything he’s been through.”

The past two years had proven to be a real rough stretch of road for Oz. After five years of schlepping through club dates, the Dingoes finally hit the big time. Signed to a major label, the band spent a solid year recording their first studio-backed CD. Oz and his bandmates were in seventh heaven -- until reality came crashing down all around them.

In the past, the band had been in charge of booking their own club dates. Since the other bandmembers had long ago figured out Oz’s secret, they had no problem in scheduling around what they jokingly called Oz’s ‘wolf days’. The managers from the record label, however, were nowhere near as accommodating as his bandmates had been. They were given little or no choice as to where and when they were to perform. It was why Oz ended up ‘calling in sick’ on the nights of his transformation, even on the Dingoes’ first semi-professional tour.

After four months and eight cancelled shows, however, the promoters finally had enough. It came down to a hard choice: either Oz had to stop missing shows or the record company would dissolve the band’s contract. Once the news was delivered, there was a confrontation among the Dingoes’ members. After a long, painful deliberation it was reluctantly decided that the best course of action was for Oz to leave the band.

Oz did a lot of wandering around the country in the months that followed. Although his residual checks from the sale of the Dingoes’ CD kept money from becoming an immediate concern, it did nothing to solve the werewolf’s other problems. Oz was twenty-four years old and had no earthly idea of what to do with the rest of his life.

“So is he still in Chicago?” Willow asked.

“Yes,” Angel answered. “He’s been doing a lot of studio work lately.”

“It’s a good place for him to be,” Willow agreed. Chicago was the new hub for music, the same way Seattle had been in the early 1990’s.

“Do you...,” Angel began, then stopped short.

“Do I what?” Willow prompted.

“No, it’s not important,” the vampire verbally backtracked.

“It was important enough for you to start,” the redhead persevered.

“No, really, it’s none of my business,” Angel insisted.

“Oh no,” Willow laughed. “You can’t throw something like that out there and then *not* finish it!”

“I...it’s...,” he stumbled.

“Just ask me, Angel,” Willow finally asked, exasperated by his hesitation by that point in time.

“Do you miss him?” The vampire asked the question shyly, leaving the redhead little doubt that he was simply referring to the friendship Willow shared with her high school sweetheart.

“Of course I miss him,” she answered honestly. “I mean, it hurt...a lot...when we broke up, but I guess it was inevitable. You remember how it was that first year after graduation with him in L.A. and me stuck back here in Sunnyhell. We were only an hour away and we still never saw each other.”

“Have you ever thought...maybe after you graduate...you might...go to Chicago...” Angel’s voice trailed off, uncertain as to how she would react to the unspoken part of his suggestion.

“You mean to try to get back together with him?” Willow attempted to clarify.

“I...I’m not sure what I meant, exactly,” the vampire admitted, only to be met by a puzzled expression on Willow’s face. “I guess...I’m just curious.”

“About what?”

“What...you’re...going to do. After you graduate,” he asked shyly. Angel was preparing himself to be teased by the witch, or even worse, barraged with questions on why he was so interested in her future plans. Willow, however, surprised him.

“To tell you the truth, I’m not really sure *what* I’m going to do,” Willow admitted. “I’ve had a lot of offers in the past couple of months -- and not just from computer firms, either.”

“What kind of offers?” Angel asked.

“Well there’s my apprenticeship with the coven for starters,” she reminded the vampire. “And believe it or not, I got a formal invitation from the Council to begin Watcher training.”

“You’re kidding!” Angel said in amazement. Traditionally, Watcher jobs were hereditary -- passing down the familial lines. Like the Salem Coven, it was rare that an ‘outsider’ would be approached to join the organization. That she had received offers from both spoke volumes as to how unique and special Willow truly was. Turning to face her directly for the first time since they sat down , Angel was reminded of just how beautiful she looked in the soft moonlight. In that instant, something shifted in the tableau, something that shocked Angel right to the core of his being. In fact, his attraction to her was suddenly so severe, he almost forgot what he was going to say. “I...hadn’t heard.”

‘What the hell?’ Angel asked himself, wondering where his sudden hyperawareness of Willow was originating. After all, he had known her for years and had never reacted to her as he was at that moment. She was simply his friend, or at least Angel hoped that she considered him such. Besides, Angel rationalized, if she had ever been...interested in him that way she would have shown it long before that particular point in time.

‘Sure, just like *you* did?’ The ubiquitous question came directly from that little nagging voice in the back of the vampire’s mind.

“I...um...asked Giles not to say anything. To *anybody*,” Willow added the last part, knowing that Angel would understand what -- or more to the point, whom -- she was implying.

“Well, then,” Angel said, shocked by the raw huskiness of his own voice. There was little he could do about it at the moment, though, since he was drowning in her moonlit emerald eyes. So lost was he in the warm, inviting green of her irises, he had to struggle hard to get the words out when he finally spoke. “I’m honoured...that...you... would want...to...tell me.”

As he forced the simple sentence from his throat, Angel fought hard to break his gaze away from Willow’s hypnotic eyes. Eventually he did manage to draw his eyes downward -- only to find himself unable to stop staring at her mouth. Time seemed to stop altogether, at least until Willow’s lips parted, unintentionally enticing him further. It was only then that Angel became aware that the redhead’s breathing had picked up, right along with her heartbeat.

To the vampire’s amazement, her lips seemed to beckon to him, growing closer and closer as the seconds passed. Only when he felt the warm, soft tickle of her breath against his own face did Angel realize that, at some point, they had started drifting closer to each other.

‘Am I moving or is she?’ Angel wondered, forcing himself to freeze in place. Apparently they had both been edging toward each other, for Willow stopped at the same time that Angel did, leaving him to speculate. ‘Is this what she wants, or is it just wishful...hopeful thinking on my part?’

Fighting his own desires, Angel’s eyes flew up to meet Willow’s. Across the scant inches that now separated them, the vampire searched for clues as to what he should do in the warm pools of emerald green. In the few seconds that had passed, her eyes had darkened, a testament to her awareness of what was happening between them. A slight gust of wind coming from Willow’s direction carried upon it the faintest hint of vanilla -- a scent the vampire had long associated with the girl in front of him.

But there was another scent in the night air, one that immediately made Angel’s decision for him -- one that prompted the vampire to ignore his own uncertainty and self-doubt. For in the air was the tiniest hint of desire, proof-perfect that Willow was in fact aware and interested in what had unexpectedly sprung up between them.

Despite the more...savage...prompting he was receiving from his inner-demon, Angel acted cautiously. He approached Willow slowly, giving her plenty of time to move away if she so decided. Angel kept his eyes open until the last possible moment, searching for any wariness on Willow’s part. The redhead held her ground, however, even surprising the vampire by leaning forward to meet him halfway.

After an eternity, Angel’s lips finally brushed against Willow’s. It was tender, gentle -- more a brushing whisper than a kiss -- a quick stolen moment before the vampire forced himself to back away. He did not go far, however, just enough to be able to clearly look into her eyes.

The emerald orbs flickered opened, marred by obvious confusion. As expressive as ever, Angel watched Willow’s emotions as they paraded across her face. In the span of single heartbeat, he saw everything he expected: surprise and happiness that quickly faded into misunderstanding and disappointment. Finally, Angel saw what he was hoping for -- confidence and resolution. Closing the distance between them, Willow leaned forward and pressed her lips determinedly against his.

It was at that moment that Angel’s world exploded.

To the vampire, Willow’s kiss was earth-shattering. Her lips reminded Angel of the finest silk -- warm and soft to the touch. Adjusting his position, Angel eased forward even further, increasing the amount of pressure as his mouth hungrily met hers. What began as a small, hopeful spark of lust was quickly expanding into a passionate out-of-control wildfire.

Following Willow’s lead, Angel undertook a thorough exploration of her lips with his fervent, closed-mouth kisses. Every edge, every corner, every spot of her luscious mouth was consummately reviewed. Knowing that this was likely to be only a one-time lapse of judgement on Willow’s part, Angel carefully stored the memory of every iota of sensation in the deepest recesses of his memory. It would be one of those special memories he could pull out and wax nostalgic on a cold winter’s night...

‘Oh God!’ Angel thought as he moaned audibly. Willow had suddenly upped the ante, parting her lips ever so slightly. To the lust- filled vampire, however, her action was like an open invitation.

Almost involuntarily, Angel not only mirrored her action, but took it another step forward as well. Like a swimmer testing the water, his tongue brushed forward, sweeping gently across her pouty lower lip. Groaning softly at the new sensation, Willow opened her mouth a little wider, encouraging the vampire’s explorations without using words.

Not that he needed much encouragement.

Bringing his arms up to wrap around her slender form, the vampire’s tongue pressed forward past the threshold of Willow’s lips. Once there, its counterpart came forward, hesitantly sliding against Angel’s for the first time. Between the feeling of her tongue dancing and swirling against his own and the sweet taste of her on his lips, the vampire was soon reeling from sensory overload.

Then, without any warning whatsoever, Willow suddenly ended the kiss. Bereft by the loss of her mouth, Angel could not prevent the moan that escaped his lips at her absence. Opening his eyes in order to find out what was happening, Angel looked directly at the redhead.

“Need...air,” Willow panted out in explanation. While Angel may not have needed to breathe, his living partner was not as fortunate. The vampire’s long, thorough kisses had starved Willow’s lungs of much needed oxygen.

“Sorry,” Angel said sheepishly.

“Don’t be...,” Willow shushed, placing a placating hand on Angel’s right leg.

Unable to prevent it, her touch caused the vampire to hiss sharply as pain shot through his nervous system. Immediately realizing that her action had caused Angel’s distress, Willow pulled her hand away as if it had been burned. The redhead looked worriedly at her friend, wondering just what she had done to cause such a reaction.

Angel, however, was not aware of her scrutiny. Instead his eyes were tightly shut as his hands cradled his injured thigh. It took him a minute, but finally he managed to control both his pain and his inner-demon, who kept trying to slip out past Angel’s weakened defenses.

Distracted by his internal battle, the vampire failed to notice Willow’s prolonged lapse into total silence. The redhead appeared to be staring out over the sand and the water, deeply lost in her own thoughts. Perhaps that was why she startled her companion so greatly when she did finally speak.

“What’s going on, Angel?” Willow said bluntly.

“Huh?” the vampire questioned distractedly.

“What’s going on?” she repeated, her tone a pure vocalization of what Xander used to refer to as ‘Willow’s resolve face’. “What’s happened? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Noth...,” Angel began to protest.

“Right,” she challenged. “That’s why you can’t sit down on your own. What happened to you, Angel?”

The denial that was on the tip of his tongue quickly faded away after her ‘no bullshit’ tone registered in his mind. ‘She’s using this to avoid thinking about what just happened between us,’ the vampire realized with sudden clarity. ‘She must be disgusted by the thought that she kissed me -- a vampire. Okay, Willow. I’ll play it your way,’ he thought to himself. In all actuality, Angel was, too, more than a little relieved that she did not want to discuss the matter at all. He was still too confused to make heads or tails of it, especially with his leg throbbing like it was.




Next Chapter