Title: In The Company Of Wolves
Author: Jonquil
Email: serpyllum@yahoo.com
Distribution: Just ask.
Rating: R (strong language, violence, sexual references)
Spoilers: Fourth season, post-Oz, pre-Tara
Summary: Willow has re-fanged Spike, and must deal with the consequences. Sequel to "Blinded By Science".
Feedback: reinforces the desired behavior.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to large corporations, and were created by the brilliant writers for Buffy and Angel.

Chapter 15


Oh my God. I didn't want that answer to that question. I didn't ask that question, really I didn't. This isn't happening. I am not here. I'm back home having a horribly vivid dream, and I'll never have caffeine again, I swear. Waking up now.

Willow pinched herself. Reality refused to cooperate.

Uh-oh. I am awake. I am sitting in a very beaten up car with a vampire who wants to seduce me. She glanced sideward; Spike was staring straight ahead with a "Bother me, and I'll rip your head off and use it as a bowling ball" expression. Wanted to seduce me. Now wants to turn me into sushi.

I thought he thought I was just a thing. I thought he was just teasing me. I didn't think he was serious. People don't get serious about me. Even Oz didn't stay serious about me.

Oh, God, he's seen me naked. Nearly.

And he didn't seem to mind...

Could I possibly become more pathetic? 'I'm trying to seduce you', indeed. Next it'll be 'Can't you think of me as a friend?' Wanker.

I am not going to look at the little tease. She's probably red to her eyebrows. Or giggling. Can't hear her giggling.

He stole a glance sideward. The girl was staring straight ahead with a "Please Do Not Resuscitate" expression.

What am I supposed to do? Torture her till she loves me? Yeah, right. That was such a great success she nearly staked me.

Why the fuck can't I keep my mouth shut?

The drive continued in an awkward and stony silence. After an hour or so had passed, Willow found the courage to speak.

"Spike?"

"What?" He didn't look at her.

"I haven't eaten yet."

He replied in a soft, even voice, "Neither have I."

Willow bit her lip. The silence stretched on.

They reached a resort town, and Spike pulled into yet another motel. Willow shrank against the car door, jarring her back. Their fragile camaraderie had been shattered. Once more she was acutely aware that she was alone with a demon.

Spike looked at her for the first time since That Conversation. He flicked an eyebrow. "Road rules, pet. If you aren't here when I get back..."

She nodded, not wanting the threat spelled out. He continued looking at her, seemingly expecting an answer.

"I'll be here."

He left the car and stalked into the lobby, duster swirling. When he returned, they walked silently to the room, Willow with the fishbowl and her bag, Spike with a nearly visible chip on his shoulder.

After Spike left, Willow turned to the fighting fish, which seemed undistressed by its change in surroundings. She put it next the dresser mirror to admire itself; it briefly displayed its fins, then grew bored. She tapped some flakes of fish food into the bowl, and it pecked casually at them.

Willow realized that she had never named the fish. Hmm. Garnet? Her hand flew up to the choker. No. Blood? No, no, no. Red... this shouldn't be so difficult. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with my thoughts? Where did I put my words? The fish flirted its tail at the mirror. Vanity. Too much like vain hopes... I think 'fish' will do fine for now.

She sighed and turned away. She didn't much feel like watching TV, she still didn't have any decent books, which left brooding. Boy, when I get back -- if I get back -- I'll have to stop people making jokes about Angel. I know just how he feels.

She sat on the bed, kicked off her shoes, and dropped her head in her hands. Just when I think I've sorted out the rules, they change. I thought we were on the I-won't-kill-you-if-you-don't-kill-me plan. Then it turns out there's the kissing plan. And I guess there's probably another plan under that, although I can't imagine what. But the kissing plan is hard enough to deal with. I'd stopped noticing that I was alone with a guy, and he has to remind me of it.

Maybe he didn't like that I'd stopped noticing, and he just wanted to remind me. She sighed. How do you tell a "Stop ignoring me" kiss from a serious kiss? It isn't as though I have enough kisses to build a sample database from. Although, if I did, that kiss wouldn't be in the bottom quartile...

Just the facts. I am not in love with Spike. Check? Check. So that makes it easy. I don't kiss people I don't love. Fact one.

I don't want to kill Spike. Even though I should. He hasn't killed me, even though he probably should, too. It can't be good for his reputation, dragging a human everywhere. So, why didn't he kill me, and why didn't I kill him, and why do I think the answer may be the same, and I am so not continuing this thought.

I suppose I could start the diary again...

[Uncrumpled and decrypted from the Diary of Willow Rosenberg]

perl -pe 's:\$(\w+):$ENV{$1}:eg'

I feel like a moron.  I am so stupid.  I don't know anything 
about anybody, so I don't know why I am pretending to 
know something about vampires.

Bloody hell.

Bloody hell.

Isn't there anything under 65 here?. I can't expect veal, but is there no chance of chicken? Ah. Much better.

"I hate to bother you, but I'm new in town. Could you suggest where I should take my girlfriend for dinner this late?"

The chubby redhead smiled. "Well, there's Chez Marie, but it's a bit hard to get to. Let me walk you there."

I'm sweet, harmless, and trustworthy. "Oh, I really couldn't trouble you."

She laughed and shook her head. "No, no, no trouble at all. Come on, there's a shortcut through this alley."

He returned her smile. "You're too kind."

The door opened and Willow looked up from the TV. Let him do the talking. I don't have anything to say.

"Come along, witch; Chez Marie is still serving dinner."

She rose and followed him.

Chez Marie turned out to cater to the apres-ski crowd; this late in the year, it was doing a desultory business among sightseers. The waitress seated Spike and Willow in a quiet booth in the back of the restaurant.

"Would you like to see the wine list?"

Deadpan, Spike responded "I never drink ... wine."

Willow burst into giggles, just a shade too high-pitched. The waitress was not amused. Willow hastily said "No, thanks."

She ordered fettuccine; Spike ordered an espresso. The waitress left.

Oh, God, there's going to be one of those awkward silences. I hate this.

Spike caught her eye and said, matter-of-factly, "So, any bits of Quebec you've been pining to see?"

Relieved that he'd started a neutral subject, she replied, "I don't know anything about Quebec. I thought you must have something in mind."

He shook his head. "Nope, just got tired of staying in one place."

"Where are we?"

He shrugged. "On the road. Wouldn't be hard to reach Quebec City, if you fancied."

Willow shrugged back. "Let me guess. It's full of vampires?"

He smirked. "City. Been there three centuries. You do the math."

"Well, you've been here before. What's fun?" Catching his expression, she hastily added, "For non-vampires I mean?"

"Wouldn't know. Haven't been here with non-vampires."

Willow glowered. "Are you enjoying this? Because I'm not."

He tilted his head. "Lighten up, luv. What's life without conflict?"

Willow sighed. "Calm. Peaceful. Serene. Those are nice words. At least, I like reading about them. I don't remember what they feel like."

He half-smiled. "They're synonyms for 'dead', pet. And not in the good sense."

The waitress arrived with their orders, cutting off that line of conversation, or so Willow hoped.

After she'd departed, Spike said, "Seriously, what's your idea of fun?"

Willow thought. "Reading. Reading is good. Learning new things. Making things that weren't there before, like programs. Witchcraft." Her face fell. "Almost everything else has to do with Buffy and Xander and Giles."

He chuckled. "Nothing from the neck down?"

Willow shook her head. "I'm not good from the neck down."

His gaze swept her body. "I beg to differ."

She blushed. "That's not what I meant. I'm not good with people, I'm not much of a dancer, I'm just a really good thinker. Except I shouldn't say that, it's -- it's bragging, and it makes people mad at you."

"And you care because?" He leaned back against the booth, face shadowed.

"What?"

Spike steepled his hands. "Why do you care what other people think?"

"Because people are mean when they're mad."

Spike shrugged and leaned forward. "So be mean right back. Can't live life without an enemies list." His smile became vulpine. "Though it's fun crossing names off..."

"No!" Willow shook her head vigorously. "I'm a nice person. I don't keep track of my enemies."

He raised his eyebrows. "Pretty stupid, luv. You can be sure they're keeping track of you. Take Harmony."

"I think you did that." Score one for me!

He winced. "Touche. You know what Harmony wanted me to do to you?"

"No, and please don't tell me, I'm sure I don't want to know. Anyway, she's a vampire. Vampires are evil. They're supposed to do evil things."

He bowed, smiling. "Why, thank you. And Harmony was your friend when she was alive?"

Willow dropped her eyes. "Uh... no."

"But you liked her?"

"Nooooo," she admitted unhappily.

"Which makes her your...?" He held out a hand and gave her the teacher-waiting-for-the-obvious-answer look.

"Enemy." Willow said glumly.

"And this is bad because?" He rotated his hand, as if drawing out the answer.

This is ridiculous. "Since when are you Sigmund Freud?"

He shrugged, "I find lying about how nice you are rather silly."

Willow sat ruler-straight. "I am nice!"

Spike snorted. "Not as nice as you pretend to be. Mother Teresa wasn't that nice."

"And you're the expert?"

"I don't pretend to be anything but what I am. You might consider it. If people don't like it, sod them."

Willow looked down at her plate and took a bite of fettuccine, hoping to end the conversation.

Spike couldn't let well enough alone. "Just who do you think you're fooling?"

Willow blew up. "Spike, I am so sick of the vampire makeover! If you wanted a vampire, you should have kidnapped a vampire! I am Willow Anne Rosenberg, and I won't let you turn me into some fifth-generation photocopy of you!"

"Much better, pet," purred Spike. "That, I believe."

Willow groaned in frustration. "How do you DO that? Even when I win an argument, I lose."

He grinned. "Practice."

When the girl had finished dinner and dessert, Spike paid the check, then rose and offered her an arm. She took it. Perhaps the day wasn't a total wash after all.

They walked back to the motel under a cold and cloudless sky. The moon was full; Spike pointed it out to the girl, who winced. Sod. Everything reminds her of that wolf. Hard to compete with a rival who isn't here. Christ, not bleeding again!

When they returned to the motel, Spike satisfied himself that no light would escape the curtains. After that, they watched TV for awhile, then the girl busied herself with her usual nighttime rituals. When she lay down and turned out the light, Spike undressed, then draped an arm across her.

The witch froze, then scooted away. He followed her. She sat bolt upright.

"Spike, I said No, and I meant it." Her voice held anger, barely masking fear. He kept his own calm and reasonable.

"I'm making sure I know where you are, witch. "

The anger won out. "Where do you expect me to be? Sunnydale?"

He casually pulled her back down. "I expect you to be in this bed when I wake up. Unarmed. And I'm taking steps to make sure my expectations are met. If you'd prefer, I could chain you again."

She sighed, but made no further protest. She lay, tense, in silence; slowly, the tension left her body, her breathing became even and regular, and he allowed himself to relax. It should be safe to let down his own guards for awhile. She's not going to yield easily. However, time is on my side. By definition.

"Don't. Don't. Come back. Don't. Please."

Spike glanced over. Nightmare. He shook her gently. She snuggled into him, murmuring "Oz?"

He let go. She rolled over and opened her eyes. "Oz?... Oh. Sorry."

He kept his face blank. "Go back to sleep."




Next Chapter