Title: My Kingdom For A Spikebot
Author: PaganBaby
Email: paganbaby73@hotmail.com
Rated NC-17, do not read if you're underage. Strong sexual content and adult themes. Pairings are M/F, M/M slash, implied M/M/F, and pseudo-nonconsensual sex.
Spoilers: This fic takes place during season 5, after the episode 'I Was Made to Love You' and around the time 'Intervention' was set. Joyce did not die at the end of 'IWMTLY' and Spike did not have a Buffybot made.
Summary: Buffy has the hots for Spike, but can't admit it. She has Warren do her a little favor...
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own the show and characters, I own nothing.
The poem, "My Lady's Presence Makes the Roses Red" is by Henry Constable
Thanks to Tiana for the excellent beta-ing!
Story Status: Complete

Chapter 1


Buffy sat on a gravestone in the cemetery, swinging her feet. It had been a slow night for slaying and she was bored to tears. She tossed the stake she was holding up in the air and caught it a few times. There was a noise off to her right. Her head snapped in that direction. It was Spike, smirking that infuriating smirk of his.

"What do you want?" Buffy asked coldly.

"You look bored out of your tits, Slayer. Not enough baddies to amuse you tonight?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"First of all...Ewww. And second, if you don't get out of my sight right now, you're going to closely resemble instant soup mix," she said smugly.

Spike laughed. "You stole that line from that Jonathan git! Back when he was 'Wonder Jonathan'! I can still remember when he said that to me. You can't even come up with your own witty banter anymore!" He doubled over from laughter. "I love it!"

Buffy was incensed. How dare he laugh at her! "I so did not steal it! He probably heard me say it once." She got even more angry when he just kept laughing.

'I'll wipe that smile off his face in a hurry!' She rushed over and kicked him in the head. He grunted and stumbled backwards with his hand to his head.

"Now that was hardly polite, luv. You wanna dance? Fine by me..." He dropped into a fighting stance. "I've been waitin' for this for a long time." He smiled wickedly.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "You can't fight back, bleach brain. Remember the chip?"

He punched her in the face, she fell onto the ground, landing hard on her butt. She put a hand to her face and looked at him in disbelief.

"That's right, Slayer. No more chip. I get to play with the other puppies again." He smirked.

She stood back on her feet.

"You know what that means, don't you?" She rubbed at her jaw.

"Wha's that, luv?"

"It means I finally get to kill you," she said simply.

"It means--that you get to try." Spike bounced on the balls of his feet. "C'mon, Buffy, give it me good." His tongue poked out between his lips.

"Let's finish this."

She charged at him. They began trading a series of blows, punching and kicking at each other, neither one getting the upper hand immediately. As opponents, they were well matched. It was sort of a thrill for Buffy to fight a worthy opponent for once. Spike struck a powerful kick to her midsection, followed by a leg sweep. Her legs flew out from under her and she landed on her back with an "Ooomph!", the air was knocked out of her lungs. She was still recovering when he leapt on top of her, forced her arms above her head and held her down with the weight of his body.

Spike's face was only inches from hers. "So--this how it ends, Slayer? Is this how you want it?" he panted.

Buffy gazed deeply into his piercing blue eyes.

'So beautiful, so deadly...'

After a moment's indecision, she lifted her head off the ground and crushed her lips against his. He made a surprised sound but didn't pull away immediately. He tore his mouth from hers after a few moments and jumped to his feet, backing away from her in shock, stopping when he backed up against a large tree.

She stood up and strolled over to him, swinging her hips, a devilish smile on her lips.

"This is how I want it, Spike..."

She grabbed him by the lapels of his leather duster and pulled him against her roughly, kissing him hard. She moaned in delight when she felt him begin to return the kiss, his lips and tongue wrestling with hers. He moved his mouth down her jaw to her throat, biting with blunt teeth, licking and sucking at her flesh. She ran her fingers through his hair.

"Buffy! I want you!" he exclaimed between kisses.

"Spike! Ahhh--Spike! I love you so much! Take me now! Take me!"

They sank to the ground as one. Kissing, moaning, shredding and ripping at one another's clothing...


Buffy sat up in bed with a gasp, her eyes wide and glassy.

"Oh God, no! Please no! Not again!"

She dropped back down to the pillow.

This was the seventh night in a row that she'd had erotic dreams about Spike. She knew it was wrong but, try as she might, she couldn't control her subconscious. The real trouble was that she was thinking about him more and more when she was awake too. She wanted him so bad...she thought she'd explode if she didn't get her hands on him soon.

"How can I feel this way after what he did? Chaining me up and offering me up to Looney Tunes Druscilla for a snack...I'm sick...I'm deranged...I'm--so horny! Damn it!"

She pounded her fists on her mattress.

"And where's that 'I love you' stuff coming from? Why do I keep saying that in the dreams? I don't love him! I don't!" She screamed into her pillow. "I can't go on like this...I'll go crazy! I have to do something!"

Thinking about other men didn't help, she had tried. She'd be getting frisky in a fantasy involving Brad Pitt when his hair would suddenly get shorter and change to bleached blonde, his cheekbones became sharper and more defined; he always transformed into Spike.

She punched her pillow and dropped back onto it, trying to get comfortable. She sighed. She was too hot and bothered from the dream to sleep...she knew what she had to do. She reached over and opened the top drawer in her nightstand to get her trusty vibrator (which she had also dubbed 'Mr. Pointy' along with her favorite stake). She laid back and turned it on. Closing her eyes and spreading her legs, she moved it between her thighs, visions of Spike popped into her head, unbidden. He was naked and smiling at her, running his hands over his hot, tight body.

'I'll think about him...one last time. Just so I can get off quick and get some sleep.'

Kissing Spike, fondling Spike, Spike fondling her, Spike bathing her entire body with his tongue, Spike fucking her with animalistic glee...It didn't take long for her to shudder and gasp in climax.

The next day, Buffy was doing some window shopping on Main St., drooling over all the designer clothes she couldn't afford. "Why do I torture myself like this?" she muttered as she gazed at the cutest DK handbag she'd ever seen.

The last few months worrying about what Glory was going to do next and about her mother's health had frayed Buffy's nerves. But her mom was making a full recovery, according to the doctors, and Glory hadn't been heard from for a few weeks. Buffy wasn't naive enough to believe that she just gave up, though. She sent her mother and Dawn away to the East Coast to stay with Joyce's sister Marie for a little while. Buffy needed to keep them safe. Glory didn't know that Dawn was 'The Key' and hopefully she never would.

Buffy saw a familiar face exiting the electronics store across the street from her. Warren Mears, the creep who made that robot. She never did get the chance to kick his ass. She cracked her knuckles and smiled as she moved to follow him.

When Warren was walking past an alley, she checked to make sure that no one was looking then rushed at him, pushing him in.

"Don't hurt me! Take my wallet, here!" He cowered and held out his wallet. "Take any--" he turned around to see his 'mugger'. "You."

"Yep. Hi, pervert! Hope you didn't wet your pants."

"What do you want?" He backed into the wall.

"You know what? I forgot to kick your ass the last time I saw you."

She started closing in on him. He held his hands up in front of him.

"Please, no! I'll--I'll give you anything you want! Just don't hurt me!" Warren begged.

She looked at him with disgust. "I don't want anything from you."

His face brightened. "A bot! I'll make you your very own bot, just give me the specs and I'll do it for FOC (he pronounced it fawk)."

Buffy raised a fist, a dangerous look on her face, he flinched away.

"What did you say?"

"FOC, Free Of Charge!" he laughed nervously.

"Sorry, I'm not a loser like you. I can get dates of the flesh and blood variety. I don't need a machine to--"

"It's not about being able to get a real date. It's living out a fantasy. Obtaining the unobtainable. The bot could have the image of your first love or someone you want but, for one reason or another, you can't have."

Warren was getting hopeful that he was going to get out of this in one piece. Buffy had relaxed her stance slightly, there was a glimmer in her eye, she looked like she was actually listening to him and giving it serious thought. He kept at her.

"You've got a hard gig, being The Slayer, and I for one think you deserve whatever or whoever you want...no guilt...no consequences..."

"No consequences..." she repeated dazedly then shook her head. "What about what your bot did to Katrina? It would've killed her if I didn't stop it!"

"It was a design flaw. I can fix that!"

Buffy couldn't believe she was thinking about this. Her mind was filled with images of Spike. She could have him, she could own him. Like Warren said, no guilt, no consequences. A Spikebot would do anything she wanted with no argument. She could turn him off if he pissed her off.

"Where would I keep it? I can't keep it in my house...someone would see it..."

Warren smiled, he knew he had her. "I don't know...you're sure you can't keep it in your house? The basement or a closet would be good."

Buffy bit her lip. "Maybe...I could keep it in my room...keep the door locked. I can turn it off when I'm not--using it, right?"

"You shouldn't turn them off too often. It's bad for their positronic matrix. Just order them to stay in a certain spot and keep quiet. If you tell them to stay put, they stay put."

"Just like the Aprilbot did?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I told you, that was a design flaw. I'll fix that particular problem with yours. Satisfaction guaranteed! Why don't you come over to my house tomorrow night, you can give me the specs." At her frown, he explained. "Pictures of the person you want it to look like, any 'special' programming you'd like, its personality, stuff like that."

"Yeah...okay. I'll be at your house at 8 tomorrow night." She couldn't believe she was actually doing this.

"See you then!" Warren whistled a tune as he quickly exited the alley. Buffy leaned against the wall.

"What am I doing? Why am I doing this?"

But she knew why. She couldn't allow herself to give into her desire for Spike but she'd go insane if she didn't satisfy her craving for him. It wouldn't be hurting anyone...

That night, Buffy staked out (no pun intended) The Bronze with a camera. Food was half-priced tonight, she knew that he'd show up for that flowering onion thing or buffalo wings. And sure enough, he came. She concealed herself behind a pillar, peeking around the corner at him.

Spike stalked over to the bar.

'God, he has such a sexy walk...have to add that to the programming.'

She started snapping pictures of him while he looked around the club, sipping at a beer.

'Wish I could see him naked...I want the bot to be exactly right.'

Buffy thought back to the short time when they had been an engaged couple. She had never been happier in her life, before or since. She had been so in love with him that some of it must have stuck with her. She remembered sitting on Spike's lap and making out with him in Giles' living room. He was an amazing kisser. Just remembering the way his soft, full lips felt on hers made her panties damp. While she'd been on his lap, she'd felt his erection poking at her bottom. She had wanted to save the actual sex for their wedding night but couldn't resist cupping him through his tight, black jeans and tracing the outline of his cock with her fingers. A thrill had gone through her when she became aware of the fact that he didn't wear any underwear, it was so naughty. She'd gotten a pretty good sense of his size and contours, even through his jeans.

'About nine inches of salty goodness, if I'm not mistaken...'

Buffy had to duck behind the pillar a few times to avoid being seen by him, but she managed to take an entire roll of film. She tucked the camera into her purse and made her way through the crowd to leave the club, hopefully before he saw her.

"Buffy," Spike called from behind her.

She stopped and shut her eyes, cursing under her breath. She turned to face him, putting on a pissed off air, she wasn't sure she would be able to talk to him without blushing like a schoolgirl.

"What do you want, Spike?" she said with a sigh.

He put his hands in his pockets, ducking his head slightly. "Can't we talk about--"

"No! I'm done talking to you. I'm done doing anything with you. Just--stay out of my way from now on or you'll meet a very dusty and violent end. Understand?"

He blinked. He looked so sad that she almost let her facade crumble.

"Yeah...I--understand." Spike turned and walked away.

'I'm sorry, Spike. It could never work out between us. This is for the best...' she thought with regret.

The next evening, Buffy went to Warren's house. His mother, a surprisingly nice and normal seeming woman, let her in and told her to head down to the basement. Buffy wondered how a nice woman like his mother could raise such a jerk like Warren.

"You got the stuff?" Warren asked from his computer.

"Yeah." Buffy walked over and gave him a large manila folder with all specs she'd put together.

He looked through the contents. "What's this?" he asked holding up an audio tape.

"That's a recording of his voice. His is the deep British accent. He calls me 'Slayer' a few times on the tape. Make sure you get that right, I don't want him sounding like Giles."

She was glad that Xander had recorded a few Scooby meetings that Spike had attended.

Warren nodded. "Got it."

"How long will it take?" Buffy asked, fidgeting from foot to foot.

"Hmm...'bout 3 weeks," he replied.

"3 weeks?! That's too long! Can't you make it faster than that?" Buffy didn't think she could last that long without fulfillment.

He looked at her like she was crazy. "I think that 3 weeks is a very reasonable amount of time!" he said with irritation. "This isn't a soap box derby racer, it's a highly advanced and complicated machine. If you want it made right, you have to wait."

She looked down and pouted slightly. He cursed himself for instinctively feeling the need to cheer her up, he hated the way chicks could manipulate men, but it worked.

"But...if I work on it non-stop...I could get it done in 1 1/2 maybe 2..."

"That--would be great." She smiled and walked to the stairs. "You sure you have everything you need?"

"Yeah. I'll give you a call if I need more info."

With a nod, Buffy left the basement.

The days dragged by at a snail's pace for Buffy. It was the longest two weeks of her life. She tried to maintain her cool in front of her friends, but they had asked her if everything was alright a few times. She was able to play it off as only being worried about Glory and the stress of slaying. Those things did bother her but the main thing on her mind was her soon-to-be playmate. Of course, the Scoobies never suspected the truth.

Buffy had almost picked up the phone to call Warren and call the whole thing off a few times. But finally, the big day came. She was giddy with excitement as she walked down into Warren's basement.

"Warren?" she called.

"Yeah, right here." He stepped out from behind a screen. "Right on time, I see. Good, punctuality is important."

He put a cardboard box on a table.

"You'll need to take this with you. It's stuff the Bot will need. Oil it needs for a shiny, healthy coat and--"

"Where is it?" Buffy interrupted him, looking around the basement.

Warren folded up the screen and turned on an overhead light to reveal the Bot.

Buffy gasped. It was--Spike. For a moment, she thought that it was really him. She had expected it to look like him but--it looked exactly like him. He stood there with his eyes closed, unmoving. The Bot wore the clothes that she had purchased and requested be put on his body. Black jeans, black t-shirt, boots and, of course, the leather duster.

"Well? What do you think? Pretty good, eh?" Warren smiled with pride.

"It--it looks just like him..."

"Hey, am I good or what?" he fished for compliments.

"It'll obey my every command?"

"Yes. And it won't be able to harm you in any way...well some of that *special* programming you had me put in was really physical, pretty intense--" he chuckled but stopped abruptly when she cast a dangerous look at him. "But--uh--it won't harm you outside of the program."

"Will he--be aware of the real Spike?"

Buffy was worried that the Bot might want to meet his twin.

"Yeah. The Bot is programmed with knowledge of the other Spike, he'll know he exists and everything. I had to add that. It's complicated but--to put it in layman's terms--the Bot is self-aware enough to know that it's a Bot. I'll inevitably have to make some repairs and tweak some programming in the future. And you wouldn't want the Bot thinking he had to go home to the crypt when the sun comes up, would you? I programmed him with Spike's history, beginning in--" Warren checked a sheet of paper, "1880. But, the Bot will know that it was really just 'born'. The conflicting information would start a cascade failure in his positronic matrix..."

Warren stopped when he saw Buffy staring at him, looking like a guppy. He sighed internally. He hated dealing with intellectual midgets like her.

"The Bot's logic circuits would get fried if he thought he really was the flesh and blood Spike. He'll know he's a Bot but will act like the other Spike. Understand?"

"What if you're wrong? What if the Bot goes off looking for Spike?" Buffy asked.

It would be a disaster if Spike found out about this Spike.

"If you're that worried about it, just command the Bot not to go near the other Spike. He'll follow your orders to the letter." Warren was getting more and more annoyed at her questions.

Buffy nodded slightly. She wasn't sure she understood but tried to cast her doubts aside.

"Why isn't it moving?"

She walked to the Bot and inspected his features closely.

"It isn't activated yet. If you say its name, it'll 'wake up'. This makes us even now. You can't threaten to kick my ass anymore."

"Not so fast. I don't know if I'm a satisfied customer yet...Let me test this thing..."

She cleared her throat.

"Spike!" she said to the Bot.

Nothing happened. She looked at Warren suspiciously.

He looked panicked. "It--it takes a few seconds...just give it--"

"Now that I get a closer look, it looks...artificial. A little shiny around--" Buffy stopped talking when the Bot opened his baby blue eyes.

His eyes immediately locked on her. He smiled widely, showing his perfect teeth.

"Buffy? Buffy! Oh, luv!" the Bot said, sounding exactly like the real Spike.

He walked swiftly to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I missed you so much, pet."

He covered her mouth with his for a demanding, knee-weakening embrace and proceeded to kiss her breathless.

'Kissing program DEFINITELY works!' She whooped for joy in her mind, her toes curled up. She broke the kiss to get some much needed oxygen.

"He'll do," she gulped, gazing into the Bot's twinkling eyes.




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